/lit/ - Literature

"Yer a wizard, Harry."
-Haggard

The bit in Lolita where he describes having sex on the beach

"He's going to kiss me... THERE" - Fifty Shades of Grey

"Give her the dick."
-René Descartes

>>2928647
My fucking sides

"Fuck, is this wrong. But holy hell, is it erotic!"

No one will take this seriously except for the two people in your class who think that they are really deep and choose obscure ass quotes. Then everyone will know not to interact with them for the semester.

Reading this thread out loud to my friend, this is way more funny to me than it should be.

>>2928648
"I can't control my horny level." - Lebron James, 2012

>>2928654
>browsing 4chan in company
>letting any other person on earth know you browse 4chan

>>2928657
>he doesnt have 4chan bros
stay lonely

>>2928636
"Ur a faget"

>>2928660
>4chan bros
That's gay as HELL dude. Do you ever touch each other's peepee's?

>>2928636
That's a tough dilemma. If you choose too mainstream a quote, people will think you just googled it. If you choose something obscure, everyone will think you're pretentious. If you choose something comical, the teacher will hate you.

>>2928657

4chan's no secret club, it's hugely popular

>>2928662
no its called having friends
and there is no way you're going to win this discussion with the premis that being alone is better

>>2928664
It's got nothing to do with the secret club nonsense, I just don't understand how one couldn't be ashamed of their doing something so trivial and disgusting.

>>2928666
I was going to try to refute, i really was, but then I saw your filename and I really have to hand it to you.

Come on, more quotes, we have to help OP out! I will drop one of my favourite classics:

To justify: Behold my penis, intestines, my cherry pie. - THE PENIS WAS

>>2928663
Some professors have a sense of humor.

Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard quaquaquaqua outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathia divine athambia divine aphasia loves us dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Miranda with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell are plunged in torment plunged in fire whose fire flames if that continues and who can doubt it will fire the firmament that is to say blast hell to heaven so blue still and calm so calm with a calm which even though intermittent is better than nothing but not so fast and considering what is more that as a result of the labors left unfinished crowned by the Acacacacademy of Anthropopopometry of Essy-in-Possy of Testew and Cunard it is established beyond all doubt all other doubt than that which clings to the labors of men that as a result of the labors unfinished of Testew and Cunnard it is established as hereinafter but not so fast for reasons unknown that as a result of the public works of Puncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently
(1/2)

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

>>2928677
simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physical culture the practice of sports such as tennis football running cycling swimming flying floating riding gliding conating camogie skating tennis of all kinds dying flying sports of all sorts autumn summer winter winter tennis of all kinds hockey of all sorts penicillin and succedanea in a word I resume flying gliding golf over nine and eighteen holes tennis of all sorts in a word for reasons unknown in Feckham Peckham Fulham Clapham namely concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown but time will tell fades away I resume Fulham Clapham in a word the dead loss per head since the death of Bishop Berkeley being to the tune of one inch four ounce per head approximately by and large more or less to the nearest decimal good measure round figures stark naked in the stockinged feet in Connemara in a word for reasons unknown no matter what matter the facts are there and considering what is more much more grave that in the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman it appears what is more much more grave that in the light the light the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman that in the plains in the mountains by the seas by the rivers running water running fire the air is the same and then the earth namely the air and then the earth in the great cold the great dark the air and the earth abode of stones in the great cold alas alas in the year of their Lord six hundred and something the air the earth the sea the earth abode of stones in the great deeps the great cold on sea on land and in the air I resume for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis the facts are there but time will tell I resume alas alas on on in short in fine
(2/2)

>>2928680
on on abode of stones who can doubt it I resume but not so fast I resume the skull fading fading fading and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis on on the beard the flames the tears the stones so blue so calm alas alas on on the skull the skull the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the labors abandoned left unfinished graver still abode of stones in a word I resume alas alas abandoned unfinished the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis the skull alas the stones Cunard (mêlée, final vociferations)

(3/2)

>>2928666
finally it worked

"FUCK, you're becoming the demons john! - Anonymous

"If the bill of rights doesn't include the right to explore ones consciousness, then it's not worth the hemp it's written on"
T-Mack

>>2928681
>>2928680
>>2928677

Good luck writing it down on the board.

>>2928688
>>2928689
>>2928691
"
Quote that OP.

A man with a 1000 friends has not one to spare
A man with one enemy finds him everywhere

ALL HAIL THE CRIMSON KING

"Words build bridges into unexplored regions." -Albert Einstein

Tell me about the rabbits, George!

"Good evening, my name is Bill Hicks. I've been on the road now doing comedy 12 years, so, uh, bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time. … I'm tired of traveling, tired of doing comedy, tired of staring out at your blank faces looking back at me, wanting me to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourselves."

"The main problem of the Internet is the fact that nobody ever checks the validity of citations."
- V. I. Lenin

use a random vonnegut quote and get bitches,
vonnegut is like spider-man
bitches love spider-man

>>2928648
"Give her the dick."
-René Descartes

>>2928702
Fuck off /sci/, and take your forced shitty memes with you.

Presence, with a double-ass meaning gifts I bestow. With my riff and my flow but you don’t hear me, though. Think fast, catch me, Yo, because I throw what I know with a resonance. For your trouble-ass fiend in weening yourself off the back of the shelf. Jackass, crackers, body-stackers, dick-tooting niggers, masturbating your triggers. Living to get older with a chip on your shoulder. Except you think you got a grip, because your hip got a holster. Ain’t no confessor, so, busta, you better just shut the fuck up. Try to listen and learn. Check that ego. Come off it, I’m the prophet, The professor, I’m-a teach you about the worm. Who eventually turned to catch wreck, with the neck of a long time oppressor. And he’s running from the devil but the debt is always gaining, And if he’s worth being hurt, he’s worth bringing pain in. When the sunshine don’t work, the good lord bring the rain in.

>>2928705
What a shit film.

"Well, we already bought the tickets."
-Abraham Lincoln

"Tfw no gf"
-Vincent van Gogh

>>2928709

I hope you're joking

"As soon as she touched my dick, I came and farted."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther

"What a story, Mark!"

>>2928740
"We got a new client. At the bank. Made lots of money. I can't talk about it. It's confidential. Anyways, how's your sex life?"

"I really don't see what's wrong with it; at least half of the people involved are enjoying themselves."
-Zach Braff on Rape

>>2928746
"I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you baby!"

-master filmmaker Tommy Wiseau, 'La Salle'

"You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole."

-- James Joyce

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks

- Frederick Douglass

>>2928762
/thread

The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!

"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink."
Bukowski

"WHY DO YOU SAY THINGS THAT YOU KNOW WILL HURT ME!?" - Loud Howard

That's totally inapplicable to anything that's going on here. And it's dumb.
- Ace Hunter

"Talking to people is informative, but solitude is the school of genius." Edward Gibbon on Mohammed.

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth is another profound truth." - Niels Bohr.

'Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. The schoolteacher is well aware of this. And the question is not one of knowing what punishment or reward attends the making of this calculation. The question is one of knowing whether two and two do make four"
-Albert Camus, The Plague

"I don’t believe that the world is made of quarks or electromagnetic waves, or stars, or planets, or any of these things. I believe the world is made of language." - T-Mack

>>2929730
hahahahaah

That's the second T-Mack quote ITT

"Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long for fat people".

Forrest Gump

>>2929736

Oh yeah. This is a good thread.

"The whole world went Sour Skittles"
-Azrael Bloom

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence


DO THIS OR FUCK YOU OP

"That's just how I roll" - Sisyphus

>>2929770

Is this legit? I like it. Never seen it before.

The Master forces the Slave to work. And by working, the Slave becomes master of Nature. Now, he became the Master's Slave only because—in the beginning—he was a slave of Nature, joining with it and subordinating himself to its laws by accepting the instinct of preservation. In becoming master of Nature by work, then, the Slave frees himself from his own nature, from his own instinct that tied him to Nature and made him the Master's Slave. Therefore, by freeing the Slave from Nature, work frees him from himself as well, from his Slave's nature: it frees him from the Master. - Kojeve

"I only wish I could've killed more"-Breivik.

"Hodor", said Hodor.

"Rise and roll. Wake and bake. Yea baby!!!"
-Will Vill

First write with big bald letters the author.

>James Joyce

Its wrong to let the author know first, but be oblivious and recite his quick history. Something copy/pasted from wikipedia praising his style and literary significance. Be bald, be arrogant and make sure to flirt with females, especially if you have an attractive teacher.

Then just write the quote:

>My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse, glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.

>>2928704
>thinking it's from /sci/
my sides have left orbit

"To Briony, it appeared that her life was going to be lived in one room, without a door."

Atonement

That sentence made the book for me; that let down of tragedy. It's not too obscure a book either.

"What?" - Richard Nixon

>>2929806
I hope you're being ironic.

“All writing is garbage. People who come out of nowhere to try and put into words any part of what goes on in their minds are pigs. ”

"i have wasted enough time. it is time to start sacrificing the negroes."

>>2929832

You should have used "All writing is pigshit" for greater effect.

>>2929849

But that's repetition, and not good repetition. Pigshit and pig don't go together in the same way that similarly and dissimilar don't go together.

'The Horror.'

-Hitler

>>2929849

i didnt write it antonin artaud did


>>2929854


and this guy's right

If you want a serious one:
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse."
John Stuart Mill

Culus tibi purior salillo est, nec toto decies cacas in anno.
-Catallus

Do this, throw the marker to the ground, toss your hands up in the air, exclaim and shout 'mothafuckas' to your class.

Acquire sufficient vaginas.

"I don't understand bitches"
Friedrich Nietzsche

>>2928636
"I think we can all agree, the past is over."
George W. Bush

>>2929867
fuck!

I laughed...

Jeunes filles trop longtemps contenues dans les liens absurdes et dangereux d'une vertu fantastique et d'une religion dégoûtante, imitez l'ardente Eugénie ; détruisez, foulez aux pieds, avec autant de rapidité qu'elle, tous les préceptes ridicules inculqués par d'imbéciles parents.

-Sade

Bitches will be mad dropping their panties

>>2929891
Make it funny like this one and no one will care about the source.

>>2929911
>no one will care about the source
But he actually said that.
He also once said.
Quote:
"What's not fine is rarely is the question asked, are, is our children learning ?"

I'm not even kidding that's the exact transcript of a sentence he used in a speech.
In the speech he tried to defend having cut spending on (in his view) unnecessary educational programs.
The guy is fucking comedy gold.

>>2928677
I love you

Put down a quote that a number of the people in the class should recognize, only misquote it. If they say you misquoted it, defend your quote and say "You probably read that on wikipedia, but it was really Joseph Stalin who said this quote."

"Patience is a virtue"
-Joseph Stalin

>>2929832
>>2929862

>implying either of you monolingual faggots knows what he is talking about

>Toute l’écriture est de la cochonnerie.Les gens qui sortent du vague pour essayer de préciser quoi que ce soit de ce qui se passe dans leur pensée, sont des cochons.

Pigshit and pigs is a better translation.

I always have a quotation for everything - it saves original thinking.

Dorothy L. Sayers

>>2929774
Yes. It is from "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom", but most faggots know it from the (excellent) David Lean film. It is by Lawrence of motherfucking Arabia, btw.

>>2929867
Catullus 12 is much more threatening.
quare aut hendecasyllabos trecentos
exspecta aut mihi linteum remitte

>>2929867

10/10

This would be the greatest thing to watch ever

"ETHER
It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early irish novel ... total loss of all basic motor skills: blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue---severance of all connection between the body and the brain. Which is intresting, because the brain continues to function more or less normally ... You can actually watch your self behaving in this terrible way, but you cant control it. A total body drug. The mind recoils horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column."
Hunter s. thompson

eat my shorts

The only way out of this trap is to choose something that is PERSONALLY meaningful to you. No one can criticize you for that.

When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.

Richard Nixon

HODOR.
-Hodor

"As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice."

-Adolf Hitler

>>2930178

OP needs /lit/ to tell him what's personally meaningful to him

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”

Sylvia Plath

Everything a writer learns about the art or craft of fiction takes just a little away from his need or desire to write at all. In the end he knows all of the tricks and has nothing to say.

Raymond Chandler

There is an old legend that king Midas for a long time hunted the wise Silenus, the companion of Dionysus, in the forests, without catching him. When Silenus finally fell into the king’s hands, the king asked what was the best thing of all for men, the very finest. The daemon remained silent, motionless and inflexible, until, compelled by the king, he finally broke out into shrill laughter and said these words, “Suffering creature, born for a day, child of accident and toil, why are you forcing me to say what would give you the greatest pleasure not to hear? The very best thing for you is totally unreachable: not to have been born, not to exist, to benothing. The second best thing for you, however, is this—to die soon.”

Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy

Some Frank Herbert for you:

If you need something to worship, then worship life — all life, every last crawling bit of it! We're all in this beauty together!

There are problems in this universe for which there are no answers. Nothing. Nothing can be done.

Atrocity has no excuses, no mitigating argument. Atrocity never balances or rectifies the past. Atrocity merely arms the future for more atrocity. It is self-perpetuating upon itself — a barbarous form of incest. Whoever commits atrocity also commits those future atrocities thus bred.

Religion is the emulation of the adult by the child. Religion is the encystment of past beliefs: mythology, which is guesswork, the assumptions of trust in the universe, those pronouncements which men have made in search of personal power, all of it mingled with shreds of enlightenment. And always the ultimate unspoken commandment is "Thou shalt not question!" But we question. We break that commandment as a matter of course. The work to which we have set ourselves is the liberating of the imagination, the harnessing of imagination to humankind's deepest sense of creativity.

>>2932134
Mother fuck, was Nietzsche ever a good writer.

Seriously. This guy is Shakespeare-tier.

>>2932150

I'm going to rub your faces in things you try to avoid. I don't find it strange that all you want to believe is only that which comforts you. How else do humans invent the traps which betray us into mediocrity? How else do we define cowardice?

You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.

Most civilization is based on cowardice. It's so easy to civilize by teaching cowardice. You water down the standards which would lead to bravery. You restrain the will. You regulate the appetites. You fence in the horizons. You make a law for every movement. You deny the existence of chaos. You teach even the children to breathe slowly. You tame.

Imagination! Here, you learn what it is to be human. You are a creator of order, of beautiful shapes and systems, an organizer of chaos.

Confine yourself to observing and you always miss the point of your own life. The object can be stated this way: Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play. Non-players often whine and complain that luck always passes them by. They refuse to see that they can create some of their own luck.

>>2932129
Fuck. I love this quote.

I'm going to print it out and hang it up on my wall.

Time to get out that Complete Raymond Chandler book I stole and do some reading.

Thanks anon.

>>2932160
This guy is a gold mine, honestly.

To know a thing well, know it limits. Only when pushed beyond its tolerances will true nature be seen. Do not depend only on theory if your life is at stake.

Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted.

Your beliefs order the unfolding of daily events. If enough of us believe, a new thing can be made to exist. Belief structure creates a filter through which chaos is sifted into order.

If you believe certain words, you believe their hidden arguments. When you believe something is right or wrong, true or false, you believe the assumptions in the words which express the arguments. Such assumptions are often full of holes, but remain most precious to the convinced.

Sounds like Herbert and Nietzsche would have got on well together.
"If you believe certain words, you believe their hidden arguments. When you believe something is right or wrong, true or false, you believe the assumptions in the words which express the arguments. Such assumptions are often full of holes, but remain most precious to the convinced." Is a great summary of the genealogical method.

It is true that the greater number of men are scarcely capable of profound knowledge, but it is equally true that the superficial knowledge they seek only serves to satisfy their vanity. It is hurtful to those who possess true genius; for it necessarily draws them away from their main object, wastes their industry over details and subjects foreign to their needs and natural talent, and lastly does not serve, as they flatter themselves, to prove the breadth of their mind. In all ages there have been men of very moderate intelligence who knew much, and on the contrary, men of the highest intelligence who knew very little. Ignorance is not lack of intelligence, nor knowledge a proof of genius.
Vauvenargues

We are too inattentive or too much occupied with ourselves to understand each other. Whoever has seen masks at a ball dance amicably together, and hold hands without knowing each other, to part the moment after to see each other no more, nor to regret each other, can form some idea of society.
Vauvenargues

It would be a curious thing to find a book that pointed out all the ideas that corrupt the human mind, human society, and human morals, that one finds developed or presupposed in the most famous writings, and in the most praised authors: those ideas that propagate religious superstition, bad political principles, despotism, the vanity of rank, the popular prejudices of every kind. One would see that almost all books are corrupters, and that the very best do almost as much harm as good.
Chamfort

There is no more lively sensation than that of pain; its impressions are certain and dependable, they never deceive as may those of the pleasure women perpetually feign and almost never experience.
Sade

"Thank you based God."
-Anon

Every human occupation has it repertoire of stock phrases, within which every man twists and turns until his death. His vocabulary, which seems so lavish, reduces itself to a hundred routine formulas at most, which he repeats over and over.
Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam

"Some writers know a great deal about how words should come at a reader; others study the ways words come to a writer. The second is likely to please passionate readers more, if only because the first is more likely to be vulnerable to literature as rule book, a catalogue of other men's effects. What saves him sometimes is reading very little. The second, whether reading or writing, is likely to pay less attention to the book of rules than to grass and how the ball looks coming at you, and the oddity of lines painted on a field. What he explores is the act of writing, as his readers explore the act of reading. There is nothing contemptible about traditionalist writing, but its readers are more likely to ignore the act of reading as part of the experience of what is read. In the first-quarto Hamlet Corambis asks, What doe you reade my Lord? and Hamlet says, Wordes, wordes. In the Folio he says, Words, words, words. It's not only funnier, it's truer, to his and our experience. The scribe may hate his pen as the painter his paint, but in another mood he will imitate Van Gogh and drink ink."
Gerald Burns

Better let the world vanish, so long as I have my tea.
Dostoevsky

A monk asked Zhaozhou, "Why did the Bodhidharma come from the west?"
Zhaozhou replied, "The cypress tree in front of the hall."

>Fuck that guy

-Jay Wilson

I'd probably choose a line from Blood Meridian since I really enjoyed that book.

>The good book says that he that lives by the sword shall die by the sword, said the black.
>The judge smiled, his face shining with grease. What right man would have it any other way? he said.

Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more, perhaps not even that.

How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty.

And yet it all seems limitless.

>>2929770
>>2929770
>>2929770

This is the best saying I have ever read. Good job, anon

“You get born and you try this and you don't know why only you keep on trying it and you are born at the same time with a lot of other people, all mixed up with them, like trying to, having to, move your arms and legs with strings only the same strings are hitched to all the other arms and legs and the others all trying and they don't know why either except that the strings are all in one another's way like five or six people all trying to make a rug on the same loom only each one wants to weave his own pattern into the rug; and it can't matter, you know that, or the Ones that set up the loom would have arranged things a little better, and yet it must matter because you keep on trying or having to keep on trying and then all of a sudden it's all over.”
― William Faulkner, Absalom, Absalom!

When you grow older a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It's called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don't. Here is a list of the symptoms, and don't worry - loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact - loneliness will pass. You will survive and you will be a better human for it.

- Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Plant

My chest bumps like a dryer with shoes in it. - Infinite Jest

"They say if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish.... then he's gotta get a fishing license, but he doesn't have any money. So he's got to get a job and get into the Social Security system and pay taxes, and now you're gonna audit the poor cocksucker, 'cause he's not really good with math. So he'll pull the IRS van up to your house, and he'll take all your shit. He'll take your black velvet Elvis and your Batman toothbrush, and your penis pump, and that all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on you because you forgot to carry the one, 'cause you were just worried about eating a fucking fish, and you couldn't even cook the fish 'cause you needed a permit for an open flame. Then the Health Department is going to start asking you a lot of questions about where are you going to dump the scales and the guts. 'This is not a sanitary environment', and ladies and gentlemen if you get sick of it all at the end of the day... not even legal to kill yourself in this country. Thanks again, John Ashcroft, you weird bible addict, can't even handle your own drug. You were born free, you got fucked out of half of it, and you wave a flag celebrating it. The only true freedom you find, is when you realize and come to terms with the fact that you are completely and unapologetically fucked, and then you are free to float around the system."

-Barack Obama 2011

>>2932569
Seven Pillars is probably my favourite piece of literature. Its an account of an incredible military campaign, by the philosopher-warrior who led it.

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-Geek Squad

"Faith, like a vulture, hunts among the tombs"
Moby Dick

" Yet, what a real living human being is made of seems to be less understood today than at any time before, and men — each one of whom represents a unique and valuable experiment on the part of nature — are therefore shot wholesale nowadays." - Herman Hesse, Demian

"Would you like fries with that?"

- College graduate #3534673

"This class is shit thus far." - You

"You had an arse full of farts that night, darling"
- James Joyce

"'Infinite Jest’ [regarded by many as Wallace’s masterpiece] is just awful. It seems ridiculous to have to say it. He can’t think, he can’t write. There’s no discernible talent.”

-Harold Bloom

>I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf mutes

Then everybody will know that you like Catcher in the Rye AND Ghost In the Shell.
You'll be the coolest kid in class OP!

"Shit girl, I'm going to beat that pussy UP. DAMN, that baby sure can suck a mean dick. I mean SUCK and FUCK, MY GOD that pussy was TIGHT felt like a monkey claw ripping my DICK clean off WOW."
Nabokov, Lolita.

"Ok, wait, let me just suck this last cock."
-OP

"I'm growing breasts!" -Alan Turing

>>2928774
Lol'd hard at that one. Never got it til reading it just now. Brilliant

"Uhh..."
-Plato

If they press you on it, make a postmodern point on the nature of quotations.

>>2934889
Also you can be sure that Plato said uhh at some point in his life, so the quote is accurate.

"I'm surprised no one has post the uncropped version of OP's pic yet." -Me

" 'I have an intricate history. Experiences and feelings. I’m complex.

`I read,’ I say. `I study and read. I bet I’ve read everything you’ve read. Don’t think I haven’t. I consume libraries. I wear out spines and ROM-drives. I do things like get in a taxi and say, “The library, and step on it.” My instincts concerning syntax and mechanics are better than your own, I can tell, with due respect.

`But it transcends the mechanics. I’m not a machine. I feel and believe. I have opinions. Some of them are interesting. I could, if you’d let me, talk and talk. Let’s talk about anything. I believe the influence of Kierkegaard on Camus is underestimated. I believe Dennis Gabor may very well have been the Antichrist. I believe Hobbes is just Rousseau in a dark mirror. I believe, with Hegel, that transcendence is absorption. I could interface you guys right under the table,’ I say. `I’m not just a creatus, manufactured, conditioned, bred for a function.

‘Please don’t think I don’t care.’ "

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
-Kelly Clarkson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEZDP_NVklc

>>2934937

>>2934939
>"Now I finally know where this quote is from, I love this song!"

[screams internally]

“There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.”
-Douglas Adams

"Nature does not know extinction ; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of out spiritual existence after death."
-Wernher von Braun

"I've been denied all the best ultrasex."
- Faggot