/lit/ - Literature

Go away Tao Lin, don't you have things to write?

he needs to write more books

>>2870914
I am writing my next book, by basically copying stuff from this site and pasting it into a Word doc.

>>2870914
No

>>2870919
Awesome. I'd read it, but I already will have.

pure spam, saged and hidden

>>2870926

I swear to god i am tried of seeing threads about this talentless autistic hipster gook flooding this board.
just one post about tao lin overflows this board with enough meaningless bullshit to last a lifetime, let alone several posts.

Although much of the 4chan experience is built around role-playing, the crowd despises contrived cool. Being geeks, many of 4chan's users are likely kids who were or are currently getting picked on in high school. To them, the internet is a refuge, a place where one's reputation is only as good as his last post. Being good looking, rich, or in this case, a part of an ultra-cool literary elite means nothing on 4chan, and could even count against you if you're foolish enough to hang around there dropping your own name.

Which is why "Go to bed, Tao Lin" is a meme on /lit/. When someone brings up Lin's name, another will inevitably respond with this phrase, which basically means, "We know it's you Tao, doing more viral marketing for your stupid books." I became fascinated by /lit/'s vacillating fascination and hatred of this peculiar author, who would seem so far removed from 4chan geek culture. Despite the differences in environment and focus, 4chan and Lin may have something in common: trolling.

Tao Lin turned on the computer, waited, and he opened up google chrome. 'What am I going to do now' he thought. 'Hehe, that's right, I know what I'm going to do now.' He went to the url bar and typed in 4chan.org/lit/ and hit enter. It was so easy. He went to typing away.
"where is a place I can pirate Tao Lin's books at /lit/ I don't want to give that fucker any money but I'm interested in seeing what he's like" It was all too easy. He hit submit.
"Go to bed, Tao Lin." Tao Lin's face crumpled into a little smile.
"Sage" Tao Lin's eyes gushed full with tears of joy.
"2/10" Tao Lin felt happy deep down inside.
He was happy, deep down inside. He closed his eyes for a moment. He was a soldier. He was a brave warrior marching through the battlefield, the black sky above him wild, the stars all forms of yellow and blue. He ran with his gun in his hand, he was supreme. He took cover, fire was coming his way. He was in a wild land of white and blue, bullets and artillery whizzing above his head. He peaked around the corner and fired. The night sky shined a bright red and blue, he could hear the voices of the other soldiers shouting out for help, or proclaiming orders. He was lost in the colors, the brightness, the darkness, the hollow kind of yellow which he saw in a thin aurora around the field. He leaned his body against the rubble, and he smiled. He was a good soldier. He felt good. He jumped his way out of the rubble with his rifle in hand and ran, dodging wild flames and the enemy's bullets. Men all around him ran as well, running through the swirling gray. It enveloped him, he was caught in its tide. He could see only wild gray. The dark sky above him shone bright green. He fired his rifle.

>>2871017
>>2871020
>>2871023

sage, you fucks.

Tao Lin opened his eyes. He set to typing on his macbook keyboard. "you can find his books for download here" He linked to a random pirating site containing the novels "Richard Yates" and "Shoplifting From American Apparel."
'I wish I was a comet going through space' thought Tao Lin.
He hit the submit button.
"No, Tao Lin." He was a comet going through space. He felt excited. Deep blackness, fire, he felt his skin heat up as he saw the burning yellow orbs and gasses and he flew through rings of red flaming rocks. His eyes turned back in on themselves and his conscious illumined his nonexistence. He tingled all over.

It had been hours now. Hours of his mind flying around his body. The thread had died down. No one wanted to post in it anymore, not even Tao, so he gave up on it. He started chugging down soft drinks and posting things on twitter. "If I was a monkey I would be a good monkey" he had said. His head was a wild jungle, it was dense. The unruly nature of his humanity obscured him. His imperfect flesh held in what was the best. "Novel idea: man becomes addicted to his own sweat." Tao Lin had been sweating. He had been exhausted. His forehead glistened in his lamplight. Beads of sweat dropping along his face and shining like pretty stars in the night. "Beep boop bop dip dop." He had grown delirious. He forgot what it meant to live. He needed to control himself. He drank quickly, and he got up.

That night the stars were vivid white nymphs. Tao walked through the streets and he stared at the other people. What was he going to do next. What would he post on 4chan next. Everyone else probably shitposted on 4chan's literature board too. These poor bystanders probably were trolled by him once. 'We're all wandering souls' he thought. We're wild burning skulls with wings on each end flying through the night, chanting antique poetry, looking for our fix in life. Every face he saw in front of him was a shitpost on 4chan's /lit/, every one of those faces, those posts, crazy flames sparking like the stars as they burnt into his mind, their cancerous quality, bad memes, inadequate trolling. Tao Lin needed peace. Tao Lin walked back to his apartment. He passed cracks and crevices in the dark streets, and looming hideaways of shadows. Some strange places where no one was looking. Some dark land untouched by humanity. But, behind each of these shadows is in reality just a teenage couple making out. 'What bullshit' Tao thought to himself. Everywhere he walked he knew hidden in the dark was some awkward 13 year old boy with bad acne and a stilted taste in heavy metal groping the underdeveloped tits of his 12 year old girlfriend with dyed blond hair. No matter where you go there's always some place no one else is at, and that's where some teenagers are at feeling each other up. Tao knew. Every dark street creeped upon him and he felt the deep pang of love, because he knew little girls were being groped right then and there by their lame boyfriends. Their lame boyfriends who probably shitposted on 4chan's literature board and were proud of it. They probably told Tao Lin to kill himself at least once at some point in time, whether it was about James Joyce or /mu/ it didn't really matter at all

He knew they were getting a feel of some breasts right then and there at some dark shadow right next to him because their parents are over-protective and they're horny teenagers with too much time on their hands and an exhausted fantasy that the fact that they have different parts will entice them as much as doing good in school would. Every random horny teenage couple was just a bad post on 4chan. 'That's shit' said Tao Lin out loud.
Tao Lin returned to his apartment at midnight. He turned his computer on and he opened google chrome. He went to 4chan.org/lit/ and he scoped out how shitty it was now. That's when Tao Lin saw it. It was a Tao Lin thread, about Tao Lin, on 4chan's /lit/. He hadn't even made it. Tao Lin clicked reply and examined the thread.
At moments in life the eyes can fail you and your mind will immediately absorb the current situation and the total vibes of your surrounding area will be estimated before you can see where you are. Colors melt together then as they become completely irrelevant and language fails you. Your body enters an animalistic, instinctive mode of pure feeling and your hands begin to shake. Very soon you can feel your heart beating incredibly and you can feel your eyes go completely blank. It is at this point that if you were to totally shut out all thinking you would be able to see nothing and feel nothing and experience death.

>>2871024
sage

"tao ins books are shitty sure, but i think thats what lin wanted. its like an ironic mustache. you just have to be able to laugh at it." Tao Lin was laughing to himself.
"Go to bed, Tao Lin." Tao Lin looked around his room, it was all dark.
"You didn't troll me. 0/10" Tao Lin got out of his seat laughing to himself.
Life was all one intense vibration. Tao couldn't understand fully what life was. No one understood. Humans don't really know what life is, and because of that they don't really know what death is either. It always seems as though humans are afraid of death, but they're just as afraid of life. They're afraid of both because they're both unknown and they know they must experience both. Humans are fearful rats in holes waiting to be marked. Fearful little colors swirling through a pool of bad 4chan posts. Skeletons climbing over each other in a mass grave howling twisted notes into the night sky. We're all poor skeletons walking through this night. We're already dead while we're alive and we already know what it means to be both dead and alive while we don't know it.
"Throw the towel in, Tao Lin."
Tao Lin got up and put the gun up to his head and hit the trigger.

>>2871037
>inb4 tao lin is dead on the news tomorrow

>>2871052
>implying the news would report his death

>>2871037
I thought you were just fucking around at first, but this is actually pretty good writing :o

*GASP* Are you....are you Tao Lin?????///////

>>2871068

why would tao lin write a story about tao lin killing himself

>>2871091
You don't have to answer in the third person, Tao.

>>2871017
>ultra cool
holy shit, lol

This board needs more Tao.

Fuck off, Tao.

>>2871068
>this is pretty good writing
wat
Also, it's from a thread maybe a month ago.

chick don't dig the Lin

>>2871017
I hate tao lin because I'm a writer that is not cool.
I live in williamsburg already, damn it Tao, what should I do to be your friend?
I'm already spending all my parents money here!

>>2873508

hey fuck you that piece is beautifully written and it is timeless

>>2873553

>what should I do to be your friend?

write quirky muumuu house-styled poetry I guess

>>2873567
They don't accept submissions. Where does tao lin hang out so I can slip secretely my muumuu poetry into his bag?

>>2873591

can't you just email him?

i saw animal collective live last week; hardly anyone showed up and they were pissed and shit.

fuck you tao lin you remind me of that haughty taiwanese asshole from new jersey who fucked this girl i liked and then stopped her from calling me back

i'm angry because i just popped 3 zyrtecs and can't get drunk

>>2873596

you'd make a good muumuu house writer

>>2873594
They don't accept submissions, so he won't read it.
I have to secretly slip my poetry in his bag with no contact information, just a serious of clues on where he may find me.
I'll lead him to my favorite bar in Bushwick, where the bartender is a hot 19 year old gay man with the vice of hitting on straight men. He will slip a roofie in his drink and when tao lin wakes up I'll explain him my plan: I will clone him in hundreds of copies and then I'll unleash them on the world. My dream is making tao lin enter in ALL the American Apparell stores in the world at exactly the same time.

>>2873614

Are you sure you can't just email him.

>>2873621
I'll try.

>>2873606

the most distressing thing said by anyone ever.

>>2873664

you're living it.

>>2873677

yeah, you're right.