/lit/ - Literature

spend an hour or two at /r9k/

>>2826183
but what about females?

sauce on pic, OP

Just assume everyone hates you and everything you do is wrong.

Take it from there.

>>2826200
It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular, not sure which volume

>>2826204
thanks!

>>2826202
This. Focus on your personal failures.

constantly afraid of being judged, even by random people walking past you on the street. you know they know they're better than you. you can't talk to people because your mind literally goes blank from fear of embarrassing yourself. feel flushed and sweaty, start shaking and hyperventilating, heart feels like it's going to give in, there's a pressure on your bladder. just want to be invisible.

>>2826218
>>2826202
oh god I think I have social anxiety

>>2826221
Haha, join the club my friend.

>>2826221
The entirety of 4chan does.
>"Hey what's up man, what are you reading?"
>Oh god what do I say is he gonna make fun of me he's gonna make fun of me isn't he
>"Fuck off, why do you care?"
>Oh god why did I say that, that's retarded
>"Jeez, hostile much. Whatever man."
And that's why I have no friends

>>2826230
>projection

>>2826230
Or:
>hey man, what are you reading?
>oh god oh god, I really like john keats, but that's not cool, what do i say?
>oh uhm, I l-like r-reading... uhm.. Paul Auster? What ab-bout you?
>Oh I don't like contemporary stuff, I really like John Keats, but I see we have nothing in common, take care anon!
>noooo!

>>2826230
>having the gall to tell a stranger to fuck off

not social anxiety

>>2826237
>Girl talks to me
>"So anon, what do you do for fun?"
>Oh man I can't tell her I like reading she'll think I'm lame
>"I dunno, I like to play video games and watch TV and stuff."
>"Oh, okay. You looked like the type of person that reads a lot, so I thought I'd ask."
>Silence followed by an Italian all you can eat buffet.

I have social anxiety disorder.

The experience is mostly one of fear. You worry what others think of you, and what they may say of you. You worry you may fuck up and make a fool of yourself. Thus, you tend to isolate your thoughts and self from the world.

Those who suffer from it long enough end up suffering atrophy of the social skills. In other words, you may be 30 but have the capacity to socialize as a 20 year old.

>>2826240
I was hoping to say something "alpha" and failed miserably in that respect.

Imagine always being scared that all the people around could suddenly start singling you out and pointing out all the ways you are inadequate in some sort of perverted show trial. That's what I feel like all the time at least, and I'm almost certain I have social anxiety.

Social Anxiety Disorder is just some bullshit pharmaceutical companies invented to sell moar SSRIs and benzodiazepines.

>>2826247
>>2826276
Sounds like you guys need a role-model.

>>2826293
>Implying any of these people take medication
I know I don't
>>2826299
Oh, you!

Generally, the primary attributes are low self esteem and fear.

Feat that they will embarrass themselves, be rejected, be mocked, be thought less of, etc. And low self esteem because they do not believe that they, or their opinions or conversational abilities, are worthy of others.

>>2826299
There are tons of authors describing similar emotions/situations, so I feel comfortable in knowing that you can, despite all of this, be a functioning member of society. Also, as long as you're able to make fun of yourself, you won't break.

First half of Notes of the Underground pretty much describes social anxiety and how I feel each and every day.

>>2826324
Lots and lots of people have social anxiety.

I was crippled by it at one point, I wouldn't even go to the grocery store because I didn't want to be judged for buying food. Just ridiculous shit. But eventually, you just have to grit your teeth and do it. And if you keep doing that, after a while, it stops being difficult to do. You still don't WANT to do it, but you go without having to force yourself. And once you are there, you feel better.

Same with hanging out with people as well. You just have to put yourself into the situation and force yourself to try to enjoy it. You'll never be totally comfortable doing new things in new social situations, but you'll learn to make yourself do it. And even have a little fun

So how many of you socially anxious folk moved a lot when you were younger?

>>2826338
Not I. I'm just fat, and have a passive personality

Alright, let's say you're afraid of bears. People are bears. To someone with social anxiety, being in a crowded room is like being in a room full of hungry bears, and you never know when they're going to get you.

Excuse my shitty metaphor. It's hard to explain social anxiety to someone who doesn't have it, because it's far from rational. I have some, used to be awful, but you're on the internet, most of these people don't do well in social situations.

>>2826338
This, and an abusive father that belittled me every chance he got. Nowadays it's just a reflex for me to assume that everything anyone ever says about me is negative ... Sucks to be me. :)

>>2826338
I moved houses a lot when I was younger and developed social anxiety when I was around 12.

Interesting.

>>2826356
Coming to /lit/, one of the most judgemental, cunty boards is probably not a good idea.

>>2826356
Yeah, that's how a lot of people are. Pretty much anybody who got pickedo n in school or treated like shit by a family member. Like, many of us.

You just get over it, or you live in a basement and be afraid of the pizza delivery guy. Your choice

>>2826363
>pretending anything is a choice

>>2826365
Part of it is certainly a choice, but I must admit that many are so far gone that it's essentially an impossibility to go anywhere but further down.

>>2826343
>>2826356
>>2826357
So going by nothing but this, 2/3 of people with social anxiety issues had potentially very short lived relationships in their youth, and the other third are fat bastards, no offense

>>2826365
Social anxiety is not a mental illness. Its not something you can just stop feeling either, but it IS something you can improve. Its a phobia, just like any other. And you can either push yourself to learn to be around it until you can function like a regular human being, or you let it run you life.

It is a choice. Maybe you even will need help to get started. But being afraid that people are not going to like you is not a disability.

>>2826370
None taken. I stopped taking the mere mention of it as an insult after high school. I mean I'm fat. I diet, and lost some weight, but I'm still fat, and I will probably always be fat. Its just who I am. I'll just buy myself some pool shirts and move on with my life.

Fortunately there are damaged women who like fat guys, so I'm in the clear

Oh God, I fucking hate people.

>>2826359
>Coming to /lit/, one of the most judgemental, cunty boards is probably not a good idea.

I can take criticism on 4chan, laugh at it or debate it. But somehow, in real life, I can't and always feel assaulted, even when people are being nice and helpful. Must be body language or tone infliction or I probably have aspergers.

>>2826378
Are you the type of person who says to someone who is depressed: "Just shake it off" or "Just stop being depressed"?

>>2826392
I find it far easier to communicate through text on an image board, possibly because I can think what I'm saying through rather than having to worry about being perceived as weird or slow if I don't respond quickly.

>>2826363
I'm somewhat okay in social situations, but I have intimacy and confidence and trust shit. :)

>>2826403
Please stop using smiley faces, they're pointless on an image board and in this case completely unnecessary either way.

>>2826394
Not at all. Because real depression is a mental health disability.

I wrote this thing about how I'm speaking from experience, and that while I always feel that fear and dread of every little social interaction, that making myself do it is faaaaar better than refusing to do it at all and feeling depressed about it

>>2826397
Same here, especially on an anonymous board like this one. You could say what you want and only be judged on what you say. In real life, people are too preoccupied by what you are wearing, how lively you are talking, if their hair is okay, etc.

>>2826392
>I can take criticism on 4chan, laugh at it or debate it.

Most times I'm all right with that, too, but sometimes it's just so fucking much and I start thinking, Christ, even people on the internet don't like me.

>>2826413
I wrote all that shit before, and 4chan thought I was an ad bot.

God damn 4chan, get your shit together

>>2826415
I like you, anon!

No I don't

>>2826413
Allow me to respectfully disagree then. I have forced myself into social situations for most of my teen years and early twenties. Forced myself to like people, talk about things I have no interest in, to feel uncomfortable in social settings I'd rather not be. It has been excruciating 99% of the time. It's not worth my trouble anymore.

>>2826415
>Most times I'm all right with that, too, but sometimes it's just so fucking much and I start thinking, Christ, even people on the internet don't like me.

But people on the internet are just as damaged and fucked up as you are. Would you give a shit about how anyone like you thought about you? Hell no. Just laugh it off man.

>>2826338
I'd like to lend further credence to this by pointing out that the only people I feel comfortable around at this point are my family and this guy that I've been close friends with since middle school and stayed in contact with. During social situations, I'm normally a nervous wreck, sweating, stuttering, muttering, etc., but when I'm hanging around with him I feel far more natural, even with strangers about.

>>2826421
But the only other option is to retreat from society. And if you can do that and enjoy it, then by all means. However while I don't seem to require as much interaction as most other people I know, I DO still want it. And without it, I'd be less of a person.

I have not enjoyed all my time forcing interaction. But there are people and places I enjoy going now. Where I feel at ease, because I have known these people for so long, and they know me. And its comfortable, and conversation flows easily, generally because my friends tend to be "talkers" and I tend to be a good listener.

And I get that not everyone might be like me, and you might feel it more than I do. However, at least for my situation, the options of "just be afraid and avoid life" just is not an option I want to live with

>>2826338
i had a very stable and happy childhood and now i'm agoraphobic. haven't left my house in months, haven't had a social life for going on five years.

>>2826426
And friends like that are the whole reason to force those social interactions. Because eventually, you meet people like that who become good friends, who you can relax around. And they make life better, at least in my estimation

The whole point of social anxiety is basically that you alway feel like everyone but you is justificated in doing what they do and being what they are. That's the basic, irrational view that leads to all the fear and the insecurity etc.

>>2826430
I do, sort of, retreat from society, but to imply that makes me less of a person or simply 'afraid' is really too simple a way to look at it.

Like you, I enjoy some social interaction. I like my girlfriend, my two best friends since childhood and some family members. But unlike most people, I don't have dozens of friends and even more acquaintances. I'm not in any clubs or social groups or go out and socialize. I've done all that in the past, but I hates it. It literally made me feel bad.

So instead of doing what is social convention, I've chosen a long time ago to do things for myself, to make myself happy and comfortable. If I'm invited somewhere and I don't like the activity or most of the people, I simply don't go anymore and I've stopped feeling bad or apologetic about it. I choose to do what makes me happy, no matter what. If that, in your eyes, is being afraid of makes me less of a person, so be it. I rather think it makes me brave for not caving in to social pressure and constantly sacrificing myself for what others happen to think of me.

>>2826466
>my girlfriend

stopped reading there. normalfag, you're almost as bad as those girls who call themselves nerds because they like star wars.

>>2826473
How is having a girlfriend a sign of being normal? You do realize that some women are like us as well, right? They're not all cheerleaders who long to be with the alpha male of a group of athletes or lawyers. Some are introverted as introverted as us and rather read books or play videogames or enjoy quiet dinners over flashy parties or gawking over money and status.

Also, just because I have 'removed myself from society', doesn't mean I am some mouth-breather that can't get along with people. I just choose not to socialize because I don't enjoy it.

>>2826435
Damn, that's really accurate.

Personally, I get lonely sometimes and go out and meet folks from meetup.com type things, go to lunch w/ colleagues from time to time, etc. but i can't handle the social shit for longer than a few hours at a time. after a couple hours, i'm ready to get back into single-player vidya or browsing the internet. i start feeling really uncomfortable after about the 2-hour mark, and my level of engagement falls abruptly. and so i leave, for what seems like no good reason.

and you can imagine how difficult this is when you have social anxiety, the tension created by leaving. you don't want to be noticed, but when you're leaving, suddenly everyone's focused on you. they might be asking where you're going in such a hurry (nowhere; away from all of you; to play ZSNES), so sometimes you lie and pretend like you have somewhere to be. (people without social anxiety don't leave *just because*, it always seems, they have other shit they need to get to.) lately, i've found it's easier to make a quick escape, rather than the natural & gradual means it seems normaly people employ. i discretely gather all my stuff, then start moving toward the door without announcing that i'm going. it's really awkward, but most effective. sometimes later, somebody will remark that they didn't notice me leaving, or say that i sould have said goodbye.

the clever ones will stop hanging out with people who make it difficult to leave. i had a really good friend, who would sort-of interrogate me about the nature of my having to leave. "you're just going home? nowhere to be? why not just hang out here longer?"
>had a really good friend
>had

>>2826495

>You do realize that some women are like us as well, right?

If a woman was like 'us', she'd never have the opportunity or the courage to get a boyfriend.

>Also, just because I have 'removed myself from society', doesn't mean I am some mouth-breather that can't get along with people. I just choose not to socialize because I don't enjoy it.

In other words, you're a normalfag.

Please go.

>>2826495
>How is having a girlfriend a sign of being normal? You do realize that some women are like us as well, right? They're not all cheerleaders who long to be with the alpha male of a group of athletes or lawyers. Some are introverted as introverted as us and rather read books or play videogames or enjoy quiet dinners over flashy parties or gawking over money and status.

I fucking wish this were true.

>>2826506
I just tell people I'm bored. They often react as if it's the worst thing anyone could say, but it's nothing personal. I'm just bored. So I'm leaving.

>>2826510
Please go be butthurt somewhere else.

>>2826511
I know it's true. I'm in a 5 year relationship with one. We met in college. It's really not that difficult.

>>2826506 - same poster
And I don't know whether this is a peculiar feature of my own social anxiety, or something rather typical, but regarding people you (I) don't like to be around: I also avoid people who have a tendency to ask a lot of personal questions. My life is almost laughably unglamorous, so I like to reveal as little about it as possible.

I think it's not uncommon for people with social anxiety to suddenly & without notice or announcement, terminate a friendship by ceasing to communicate with someone. If you feel as though they're threatening your privacy or socializing preferences in some way, rather than risk a messy confrontation, some find it easier just to stop responding to their phone calls or e-mails, completely without warning.

>>2826520
>Hey! How was your weekend?

>>2826519

>Please go be butthurt somewhere else.

lol butthurt XD

Please go back to one of the normalfag boards. Or the popular reddits. Or Facebook. Or wherever you came from.

It's like the other person said, you're like one of those people who thinks playing an hour of flash games a week makes you sucha gamer nerd xd.

If you have a girlfriend, you're normal. You're way beyond normal. Your girlfriend is normal too.

>>2826511
It is. Plenty of damaged girls out there. They're easy to spot as well.

For fuck's sake, people, women aren't some magical creatures that belong to a completely different species. You can enjoy the company of one just like you might enjoy the company of another dude, in a platonic way or otherwise. I met my best friend (who's a girl) in the clinic I used to get therapy in,

>>2826521
lol no; i mean more prying questions

>so you went to _____?
>who did you go there with?
>how did you meet so-and-so?

Your heart feels like its going to jump from your chest, your hands with sweaty palms start to shake. You start talking and keep going even tho it hurts. Wall of words rush from your mouth while your voice breaks and you feel like you are about to cry. He looks you like a freak and probably is wondering if he should call an ambulance. Muscles on your neck become so tense that you are afraid they are going to snap. You can no longer breath and your mind is filled with fear. All you wanted to know was, when the next train is going to leave.

>>2826531

>You can enjoy the company of one just like you might enjoy the company of another dude, in a platonic way or otherwise.

Of course you can. If you're normal.

Please realize that social anxiety means it's difficult to make a connection with ANYONE.

You have no close friends. You certainly don't have an intimate relationship with anyone. You are not capable of that sort of connection.

If you are capable of that sort of thing, guess what? You were a normal motherfucker all along.

>>2826538
Tell that to my psychiatrist, anon.

>>2826546

You mean your overpaid drug peddler? Tell him yourself.

>>2826549
>>2826538
>>2826522
>>2826510

>>2826549
That's funny, because it's a free clinic.
Sage because of reasons.

>>2826538
>>2826522
Why are reacting so aggressively to this? You really shouldn't be this mad.

It feels weird having to 'defend' my social anxiety, but I am nowhere near a normal person. I think the last time I've seen anyone socially was nearly two months ago. You can probably count the social encounters I've had this year on one hand. I literally only leave the house twice a week to buy groceries. I've been in therapy for years for depression and social anxiety and take medication.

Just because you are suffering from all this, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be nice out in public. My girlfriend happened to like me for who I am when we met in class and to this day chooses to support me when I'm going through hard times. It might not always be easy and we might not always understand each other, but we've made it work so far. Maybe I'm blessed, but I'm sure there are others out there as long as you're open to it.

God, even the idea of facebook makes me cringe. I can't even post on a normal forum that isn't anonymous. Excuse me while this normalfag will talk to his 0 steam friends.

>>2826557

Just 'cause you ain't paying him don't mean he ain't getting paid.

It's his job to see what you need, and hook you up with some shit. He's like that motherfucker on the corner. You walk up to him and be like "yo man let me get 10" you think he's going to be all "Nah man I don't think you need this"?

Of course not. He's going to snatch your money and ask you nicely to come again. In this case, you just got some other sorry motherfuckers fronting the bill for you.

>>2826560

>Why are reacting so aggressively to this? You really shouldn't be this mad.

Because I absolutely despise normalsfags like you making light of a real affliction. "I got nervous outside once, please give me drugs and therapy".

Fuck you. Fuck your girlfriend too. Normal pieces of shit trying to pretend there's something wrong with you.

>>2826564
hahahahahah bless you anon, bless you.

>>2826561
>You walk up to him and be like "yo man let me get 10" you think he's going to be all "Nah man I don't think you need this"?

That is almost exactly what happened to me. My therapist refused to subscribe me any medication until I was almost two years into therapy.

>>2826567

What the fuck were you doing? Was he just getting paid to be a stand-in friend, deal with your bullshit?

>>2826564
You mean the real affliction I suffer from? The real affliction that was actually diagnosed by several doctors?

Something tells me you yourself haven't even been diagnosed with anything. You're just being bitter and edgy like some angsty hormonal teen. Stop lashing out to others and get some help.

>>2826521
>mfw people ask me what I've been up to

>>2826560

Wait, steam? So you've got games? So you've got an income?

Look at this sorry motherfucker trying to pretend he's got some problem.

You've got a girlfriend. You've got an income. What the fuck more do you want? The Taj fucking Mahal?

If you've got problems, I would pay cash money to get them from you.

>>2826572

>You mean the real affliction I suffer from? The real affliction that was actually diagnosed by several doctors?

So you think a psychological diagnosis means anything? That shit is a pseudo-science to sell drugs. Any set of symptoms you could possibly have, they have a diagnosis to fit it.

>>2826574
Holy shit please stop posting, I'm starting to feel sorry for you

>>2826578

Feel sorry for me? You mean like someone who actually has a problem?

>>2826571
>What the fuck were you doing? Was he just getting paid to be a stand-in friend, deal with your bullshit?

Well, it's therapy. It's a viable way of treatment. He said medication would get rid of the symptoms, but wouldn't cure the underlying demons that caused it. I guess it helps that I'm not American and people aren't that keen on subscribing pills for no reason here in Europe.

basically this: that which makes it possible for you to think of something as normal / usual is not given to us.

>>2826580

>Well, it's therapy. It's a viable way of treatment.

Not really, man. I thought we stopped that shit when Freud went out of style.

>>2826579
Who are you to decide how valid someone elses problem is? Are you trying to prove you're more damaged than he is? What the fuck is the point of that?

>>2826587

>Are you trying to prove you're more damaged than he is? What the fuck is the point of that?

I just start to feel a little bitter when people who have is absolutely great try to pretend they have a problem.

Like, imagine you heard a millionaire complain about how stressful it is filling out the paperwork for his two yachts. That's what it makes me feel like.

>>2826574
I only get Steam games on sale, which are like $5. That isn't disposable income by any stretch.

>>2826590

Yeah it is, bro.

>>2826589
Please realize that people can suffer from the same problems you do without being bitter and angry about it.

>>2826593

I don't see anyone in this thread suffering from the same problems I do.

>>2826531
This. A girlfriend isn't some magical fairy that whisks all your problem away. It's just a person, like the rest of us.

>>2826596
You only seem to suffer from being a jerk so that's true.

>>2826599

I think I have reason to be angry.

>>2826589
And there are African kids dying of starvation daily, I'm pretty sure they feel like shit too. Does that make any of your problems less valid? Does it make anyone elses problems any less valid?
It's not really supposed to be a war between who has it worse. Everything is relative.

Also, great literature thread, guys.

>>2826603

>Does that make any of your problems less valid? Does it make anyone elses problems any less valid?

Yeah, it does. There's a reason we have that glib little phrase, "first world problems".

>>2826601
Enlighten us then. What are your problems and why are they so grave they automatically diminish all of ours?

>>2826605
Then I don't understand your earlier complaints. You're doing the same thing, aren't you?

>>2826609

Well, if a starving African happens to post in this thread telling me to check my shit, I'll gladly check my shit. I won't put up pathetic arguments trying to say I've got it just as bad as he does, which is what you guys are doing.

>>2826611
Well, then tell us. The only things we're getting now is that your probably some average depressed guy who feels sorry for himself way too much.

>>2826614

I've attempted suicide.
I self harm.
I haven't gone outside in at least a year. (and I don't mean like, I haven't gone out for social calls. I mean I literally haven't left the house).
I haven't had a friend in at least 12 years. I've never had a very close friend.
I've never had a girlfriend.
Last time I left the house I had a panic attack so severe that I almost attacked someone. (Because I was irrationally convinced they were going to attack me first, I actually confronted them, but then ran away).

You're going to ask for specific diagnoses. Sadly things like diagnosis and treatment are privileges of people wealthier than I am, in my country.

>>2826611
>>2826611
Look, nobody's trying to say they have it just as bad as you do, nobody even knows what it is you "have".
You, however, are being an asshole, trivializing the issues of a person you don't even know, saying they're "fucking normalfags" and that they should shut up.

At any rate, this argument is silly, I hope you'll get better, whatever your issues are.

What the fuck is this shitty topic?

>>>/r9k/
>>>/b/

>>2826625

You mean his excess income and girlfriend issues?

Man, I wish I had issues like that.

>>2826623
I have attempted suicide, but I don't self harm as I associate it with myspace goths.

What has your doctor said about all this?

>>2826631

What doctor?

>>2826631
he mentioned he has no money for one, no?

>>2826632
So are you diagnosed in any way or are you just feeling sorry for yourself?

>>2826636

I am not diagnosed, no. I can't afford one.

>>2826626

>>2826640
How about your parents? I assume you live at home as you never leave the house. What do they think of it? Why are they not helping you?

>>2826642

One parent. Mother. She makes about 17,000 a year and has a severely autistic (as in, motor skill, cognition, and speech issues) daughter to worry about.

She feels for me, and she fronted the emergency room bill, but there's nothing really she can do.

get each other's email or some shit and talk about this elsewhere.

a lot of 'em turn to drugs &/or alcohol. if you don't know them very well, but only see them once every couple of years or so, they might seem very changed on subsequent encounters. maybe you'll start hearing about them struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction, or later hear that they kicked the habit.

>>2826646
I am sorry that you're in this state, but please don't be mad at me because I have gotten help and support. Healthcare is free in my country or else I wouldn't have been able to afford it either. And it's too bad that even the word 'girlfriend' offends you so much, but I just lucked out, she approached me and pursued me, even though I was being a terrible fuck up as a person and and socially, as usual. I don't know why she stays with me either.

Before all this happened I was in the same situation as you. The only you thing you can do now is be open to people and try to be kind no matter what. People aren't willing to help otherwise. And I know this is not always possible, but try apologize afterwards if you have to. Don't let the affliction become you and treat it as the disease it is separate from you.