/lit/ - Literature

sucks don't quit your day job

needs more commas, shorter sentences, less blabla

Stop trying to be so poetic and write the damn story.

>caterpiller

>>2807537
I quite liked the style of it, but I think it would fit more easily with a first person point of view. With a 3rd person view, examples, extended metaphors, and rambling don't tend to fit, unless you are an extremely talented author.

>>2807557
>>2807579

>Cars passed steadily along the busy Florida street, side by side, one after the other, just as you often see ants do when they find a bit of food or a dead caterpiller laying in the driveway; the only difference being it was unclear where each vehicle had come from and to where they would be going

this is a terrible sentence

sorry man

I'm just writing the way I've always written... I just hope you guys actually write and are giving me shit for bad writing, rather than just trolling

>>2807586

I'm not an extremely talented author, I'll be the first to say it, but maybe I can make it work!

>Cars passed steadily along the busy Florida street, side by side, one after the other, just as you often see ants do when they find a bit of food or a dead caterpiller laying in the driveway; the only difference being it was unclear where each vehicle had come from and to where they would be going.

This sentence is pretty awful. I don't think you need to describe how cars move down a highway per se. Perhaps describe the fumes and maybe the velocity of them moving past the protagonist?

I dunno.

It's kind of clumsy.

>just as you often see ants do when they find a bit of food or a dead caterpiller laying in the driveway
Why is the narrator talking to the reader?

>other than what the devil it was he might have eaten last
Trying too hard.

Generally a lot of punctuation errors. Stop using semicolons. I hope this is a first draft. Learn to rewrite. Over and over.

>>2807640

I haven't rewritten it, this is a first draft...

I don't know if these kids just suck at reviewing someones work or if they have some good points...

>>2807537
Hilarious! Write more, OP!

damn you guys make me feel like I should kill myself

>>2807671

Excellent. Now rewrite the story with the edgy feeling of suicide.

Soak your story with your hurt and blood.

The diction, pace, and syntax needs to be violently improved because its horrendously plain right now. now spill blood.

- The first sentence is really not great. Just because you've thought of a metaphor or simile doesn't mean it's always appropriate and improves the writing to use it. If you're going to use the ant comparison, don't make it so long and clumsy, cut it right back. People know how ants move in a line and how cars drive along a road, you don't need to explain exactly how it works and how it differs here. If you treat the reader like an idiot, they'll think you're the idiot for pointing these things out.

- You CAN get away with directly addressing the reader as "you" as in "just as you often see.."- but not in the vast majority of novels. If your protagonist was directly narrating his own story and he had a casual, down to earth voice, it would fit. Here, it doesn't.

- A lot of your sentences are not correctly punctuated. Read them out loud. You should be able to identify where you naturally pause. This is also a big paragraph with scope for at least one break in it.

- "other than what the devil it was he might have eaten last, and where they bought their meat from". This bit appears to be indicating that your character is a cannibal. You haven't explained who "they" is, giving the odd impression that it's the subject in the first part of the quote. It's clumsy phrasing unless this really is about a cannibal.

- If this is your first paragraph, it's dull, dull, dull. Start by making your guy dash across the busy street without explanation and narrowly avoid getting hit, THEN leap into his thoughts on imminent death. Don't ever start a novel with introspective rambling or a description of a boring scene (a busy but perfectly ordinary road) unless you can make it truly compelling. This paragraph bored me and I honestly do not have any interest in reading further.

>>2807674

- There are also minor mistakes scattered all through it. This kind of thing can be cleaned up in editing, but for the sake of one slightly rambling paragraph, you should have really done it already before expecting people to read it.

Although you may feel terrible, this is not harsh criticism. Any editor would criticise all this and more, and truthfully, an agent or publisher wouldn't read past this paragraph, assuming they got as far as reading the manuscript. That does not mean anyone's saying you're a terrible writer and should give up. You just have a fair bit of work to do, and we wouldn't be doing you any favours if we said it was marvellous and we'd buy it right away.

And yeah, I write. I'm currently just selling short fiction at semi-professional rates, so I'm far from a best-selling author or even a full time writer, but I do believe my advice is sound, and I've edited every bit of my own published work very, very harshly and rewrote it several times before I was satisfied. It's a really shitty feeling when your work is pulled to bits and you realise how much work you have to do, but I can guarantee you that most professional writers you admire have been there too.

>>2807681

thanks man, I appreciate that. I should have worked on this a little more before posting it on here, but I appreciate your criticism. I'll work on this some more and post the rewrite when I finish it.

The large majority of it makes me cringe. I think you've tried too hard to show and not tell but you've failed at that. It's still telling but elongated and pointless - stemming from the poor writing form.

Your trying to hard. If you actually were an amazingly talented writer it might work... but your not, and it doesn't.

>As he waited he glanced up and down the street;
don't repeat yourself. and imma not talkin about the "wait", though that's pretty awful too.

for 2 hours I read about nothing else but what the street looks like. we already got the impression that he's looking "up and down" the street. you don't need to tell us again.

and as already stated, rewrite that god-awful first sentence. too long for contemporary work, plus it isn't well written to beginn with.
also, just cause you heard about this weird super-cool punctuation mark known as "THE SEMICOLON", you don't need to use it in every second sentence.

that's as far as I've gotten so far

I respect the reviews, but I wish I got more reviews from mother fuckers who could differentiate between ''to'' an ''too'' and more mother fuckers who didnt hate so much on my three or four semi colons. so maybe I didn't use ever semi colon in the right form.... you mother fuckers act like I'm using them every two fucking seconds.... I wish I could have a few real writers critique my work...

>>2807739
>dat disillusioned teenager

>>2807739
Why? You're not a real writer, either. Most of the advice in this thread is legitimate, and you are pretty bad at writing (based on the work you have posted).

The fact that you thought posting a shitty first draft on this forum was a good idea to begin with speaks volumes of your juvenile ineptitude. Writing is not for you. Pack up your pen and leave.

>>2807743

actually this is the worst shit I have ever written. I figured I would post my worst shit seeing that I am very self conscious to see what people say about it. I guess you speak for every writer on this fucking planet so I guess I should 'pack up me pen'' an go. let's seee what you have to write that's so good, you fucking faggot

>>2807739
but you do use too many. you could have (just as well) and should have used periods.

those who will eventually criticize your work won't be professional writers, but normal people. and their critique will look as follows: they won't buy your stuff.
it's as simple as that.
instead of faulting the guys, who tell you they don't like what you wrote, you should improve yourself on the basis of the few far between comments that held some merit and ignore the rest.

get to work.

my shit isn't that great.. but you dillusional fucks who seek refuge on 4chan all day to hide from your shitty fucking lives don't need to be critiquing my work anyways. that doesn't go for all of you... but you can tell who's a fucking idiot and who isn't

>>2807743
don't listen to this guy... well, yeah your writing is pretty bad, but that doesn't mean writing isn't for you. You just need to get better.

First, you need to read a lot, and I mean a lot. Read stuff that's well written obviously, if your reading teen fiction its not going to help you much.

Now, watching a baseball game wont make you a good baseball player nor will reading make you a good writer, but at the very least you will catch on to the rules. In that paragraph you broke a lot of rules. So start there.

>>2807763

thanks man, I appreciate that

>>2807762

>>2807739
>posting on 4chan
>upset about getting trolled

I was going to give you some advice (because I've been there, all writers have) but I just lost all respect for you. Your writing is bad and you should feel bad.

>>2807772

fuck you faggot. oh nooo I'm so butthurt don't talk shit ohh noooooo

>>2807755
Challange accepted...

If it wasn't raining Paul's shoes wouldn't be wet, and he could do anything in dry shoes. He'd once met the love of his life in dry shoes. She was a beautiful specimen of the feminine form, and even squashed across his left foot sole her proportions of hips-breasts-waist were Botticellian: elongated, precise, fluid.

Paul's nights that summer were spent in awe of her. Each night he would remove his shoe, turn it over, and trace the changes his walking had done to her. He used the tip of his nail to circumnavigate and etch the changes. He wanted to preserve her forever. But one evening, after the rain, he turned over his shoe, and she was gone.

>>2807782

jesus christ, I guess I'm being trolled... hard

>>2807762
You're on 4chan too, bucko.

>>2807782

I like this. Kind of. It's not spectacular, but it's better than OP's.

>>2807755
>let's seee what you have to write that's so good, you fucking faggot
There was a time in my simple life when nothing seemed to excite me. I moved through each day like they were the pages of a boring book I had already read. Everything was routine and pre-determined, commonplace down to the minutest of details. The only thing that seemed to brighten my life, to bring some sort of meaning to the otherwise banal exercise of living, was eating a delicious hot dog. There was something about the taste that captivated me and made me long to live in a better world – a world where hot dogs were as common as sunshine and oxygen. I spent a lot of time thinking about this world, but it was always distant and unreachable. Hot dogs simply did not translate into upward mobility, and in my comfortable rut, they seemed merely a pleasant momentary distraction.

I'm out... fuck me for thinking mother fuckers would be honest on here... a bunch of fucking idiot low lives who can't be honest with me... just want to troll and feel superior

>>2807791
That all changed when I saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a grand festivity sure to be remembered forever in the annals of history. The county fair was holding a hot dog eating contest, the winner earning a trophy and the title of Hot Dog King. To think, a mere commoner like me could participate and perhaps win, almost instantaneously being elevated to the status of royalty. The opportunity to be the patriarch of a hot dog kingdom was one rarely afforded to anyone, and a genuine chance to do some good in the world. The noble deeds I could do, the lives I could change, the hot dogs I could eat, it all sounded so extravagant. I knew right away that this was a contest suited for a man like me. Though I was never one to engage in the timeless art of competition, I suddenly had something to prove. This was a primal drive that, like the strongest of competitive spirits, was catalyzed by love. I loved hot dogs and this contest would be my golden chance to prove the depth and boundlessness of my love and, in the process, prove my worthiness of the hot dog throne.
---
This is the opening. Let me know if you want me to continue.

>>2807779
um... seriously, are you like twelve years old?
Your insults are as bad as your writing so it makes me wonder.

>>2807792

>this is my first day on 4chan
>I can't accept that my writing is sub-par
>I am unwilling to make the necessary changes
>I am unwilling to put forth the effort and do the hard work required to reach greatness

>>2807792
guy, you got a lot of honest responses here. your writing is bad, its as simple as that. You did get some pretty good pointers too (>>2807586 >>2807674 )

If your angry at trolls... well,
>4chan

Obviously you are dumb as shit and deserve no better than what you are getting, in fact you already got more than you deserved so be grateful.

>>2807794
well, you got me hooked. Please continue :)

>>2807794
>>2807806
Like all good competitors, I familiarized myself with the rules of engagement. At first it seemed that this was no fool's contest. Everything seemed logical and thought out, like any respectable challenge should. The people who organized it must have had a real affinity for hot dogs and the needs of hot dog eaters, I thought. The hot dogs would be all-beef, so as not to forsake the Jews, whose cruel covenant with God prohibited the consumption of pork hot dogs. The hot dogs would be cooked as well, so that they would be in the best possible condition for eating. But that's where the good times ended and the serious questions began. There would be no buns, no ketchup, and no condiments of any sort provided. Instead contestants would each have a platter of wieners, as naked as the day the hot dog factory made them, and with the goal being to eat as many as possible in ten minutes. Where was the love in that, I wondered? It all seemed so decadent and wrong, so vile. No buns or condiments? What were the hidden motivations on the part of the contest organizers that would lead to the exclusion of that which makes a hot dog truly a hot dog? Still, I had emotionally invested myself in the idea of this contest, and I wasn't about to back out now.

>>2807809
I arrived at the fairgrounds two hours before the contest and paid the $10 entry fee. To my surprise there weren't many other competitors. Could it be that the hot dog was no longer a cherished food? Had society turned its back on the hot dog? I tried not to think about such horrible questions, for it would do no good to work myself into a suicidal depression at a time when hot dogs needed me most. Instead, I focused on the world after the contest and my forthcoming reign as Hot Dog King. I saw myself resting comfortably upon my throne as a plump, juicy horizon dawned before me and showered the earth in waves of hot dog colored pink. In the distance I observed the hot dog river, flowing in foot-long waves and cradled in a canyon bun of rocks. This was my future, I imagined.

In reality a dark sky loomed over head, ominous and shadowy like the space beneath a refrigerator. It looked as if any moment the heavens would cry out and flood the earth below in tears. It made the whole event seem that much more Biblical in scope. I did not fear the rain, for the contest would take place under a sturdy tent. The air, though, that was what worried me. The intoxicating aroma of hundreds of hot dogs was being lost to the pungent odor of the nearby horse stables, and from the 4-H animals just beyond the stables. It was a brutal assault on my nasal cavities, and I longed to plug my nostrils with hot dog chunks in a vain attempt to block out the offensive stench coming from this rotten ark packed with every redolent animal that the surrounding lands had to offer. I was very agitated at this point, twitchy and nervous, worried that my crown was going to be lost not because I didn't love hot dogs enough, but because of the overwhelming rankness of the outdoor air.

>>2807792
>>2807792
Mate, come back in a few days, after reading your work with a clear head. You can apologize then for being a wanker.

What you posted was shit.

Few points:

>cars =ants
So mundane it made me cringe. If you are going to use cliches use them like a whore.

>Ivon watched each vehicle soar across his line of sight as he awaited a chance to cross the busy street
awaited? Really? Long winded, pointless sentence anyway. If you are trying to give a view of Ivan's impression, do it. Don't talk through the narrator.

That is a start and as much as I can be bothered commenting on. Just start again. Don't delete what you have done, just write it somewhere else with no reference to what you wrote and posted here.

Stop being a faggot.

>>2807811
Moments before the contest was scheduled to begin, I was guided to my seat at a long table. Apparently only three other men had taken up this sacred challenge. To my right sat an angry and merciless looking Asian man. I wondered how a foreigner such as this could find his way out here, but was nonetheless inspired that his love for hot dogs could carry him so far from home. To my left was a rather dapper man, distinguished in dress and demeanor. I felt an instant rapport with this dandy man, taking him for a highbrow connoisseur of hot dogs. To his left was a rather discouraging looking fellow, and perhaps the reason so few dared to enter the contest. He was a mammoth, a mountain of flesh and fat, and his mighty mouth was a hole that could conceivably consume an entire football if the need arose. He was incredibly silent, deep in a trance-like meditation. This was my competition for the event, and they were definitely the right stuff. I felt a deep kinship with them, for they were my fraternity and we each shared a sacred bond and understanding. We might not have had similar backgrounds or even languages, but we shared one universal trait: a love for hot dogs.

Since I wasn't sure the young Asian beside me would understand my words, I decided the dandy would be my best bet for a pre-contest conversation. But what to say? This was the first time I was amongst my peers and the last thing I wanted was to make a fool of myself by gushing out something stupid like, "boy, hot dogs sure are great!" No, I'd need to appear sophisticated and bold. This was not the time and place to speak of trivial matters or state the obvious. I was amongst my fellow scholars of food and this was our version of a public debate. I almost blushed as the perfect statement to establish myself as a real player in this new society popped into my head.

>>2807815
"You know, the modern dilemma of the hot dog is that the last bite of your first leaves you longing for the first bite of your second," I explained in a matter of fact way while using simple hand gestures to map out the invisible form of an imaginary hot dog. The dandy noted my hand gestures and nodded, a clear indication he approved of both oral and non-oral communication methods. However, it seemed my message was ultimately lost on him.

"More like the last bite of your first hot dog leaves you dreading the first bite of your tenth!" he said in a condescending tone. A tenth hot dog? My god, how could anyone take things that far?

"Hah hah! Ten hot dog? Try twenty!" interjected the Asian man in a harsh voice obviously sharpened on the jagged edges of his broken English.

The dandy looked a bit discouraged, and immediately turned away and began staring straight ahead at the small crowd of dedicated enthusiasts that had gathered. The Asian man's words had obviously disrupted his confidence, and mine as well. Clearly English wasn't his native tongue, and that had me wondering if his foreign taste buds could handle the distinctly Western allure of the hot dog. Though I shuddered to think that race could factor into this contest, I wondered if his genetic predisposition disqualified him from gaining any true satisfaction from this test of love and manhood.

>>2807817
It was then that the hot dogs were delivered, overwhelming my nose with a pleasant and reassuring smell. Just like the rules explained, each of us got our own platter of naked dogs. There must have been at least thirty on each plate. I seized this opportunity to place my briefcase on the table. This caught the attention of my competition, who were not used to such a dramatic display. I carefully popped it open, revealing two bags of hot dog buns and a fresh bottle of ketchup. I removed my accessories and then placed the briefcase underneath the table.

"Are you mad?" asked the dandy in a shocked, wavy voice.

"There is nothing in the rules about bringing outside food. My buns and ketchup are completely valid in this contest!"

"You'll fill up on bread, you fool! The contest is to eat the most hot dogs in ten minutes!"

"Yes, to eat the most delicious hot dogs in ten minutes," I rebuffed.

Again he turned away, wanting nothing to do with me. I kept the conversation alive, though, because I felt a sudden sense of power over him.

"I love the smell of ketchup in the morning," I said while removing the protective seal from the top of the ketchup bottle. "It smells like—" I started to add before being rudely interrupted by the contest judge.

"You all know the rules," he explained. "The goal is to eat the most hot dogs in ten minutes."

"The most delicious hot dogs in ten minutes, you mean?" I inquired, expecting him to correct himself.

"The goal is to eat the most hot dogs in ten minutes. We will begin as soon as I ring this bell. Gentlemen, are you ready?"

>mfw hijacked writing thread

>>2807818
We all nodded, tense and eager to hear the deafening gunshot roar of his little hand bell. He looked at us all with a face that conveyed so much emotion. His eyes held fear, his tightened facial muscles held sorrow knowing only one could win, and his clenched jaw showed his nervousness for us all. Then, putting aside his own emotional hang-ups, he rang the bell and started the contest.

I began by carefully placing my first hot dog on a bun and spreading a nice long line of ketchup across the top. As I took my first bite, I glanced over to my right and saw the Asian man sucking hot dogs in like a vacuum cleaner. He had gulped down two in the time it took me to put my first hot dog together, and another in the time it took me to chew through my first bite. My second bite revealed that the dandy had quickly gnawed his way through two hot dogs. Beyond him was pure horror I could scarcely believe with my own eyes. That fat man, that beast, was silently devouring hot dogs as though they were planets and he was a black hole. What kind of sick industrial evolution had spawned this creature? He was a hot dog factory on rewind, and one could only wonder if he was going to go home and quietly give birth to a live cow. The hot dogs meant nothing to him. They had no taste, no intrinsic value, nothing of interest. He looked at them as the means to an end. He savored the dogs no more than fire savored the taste of gasoline.

>>2807820
When I slowly bit into my second hot dog, I noted that the Asian had already scarfed down a dozen. The dandy was trailing behind him, and the beast was somewhere in hot dog hell. While I slowly enjoyed my second hot dog, letting the warm tanginess of the ketchup tango seductively with the flavorful all-beef meat on the dance floor of my tongue, the beast was having his way with the contest. Like a cruel tyrant he sentenced the population of hot dogs on his plate to die in the mass grave of his stomach. I was getting to know each bite, paying proper respects to the fleeting deliciousness as it disappeared into the cozy hot dog Valhalla inside me. A part of me mourned for the hot dogs that were being lost to the bottomless abyss of the beast's stomach, undoubtedly to suffer even more pain in the murderous showers of digestive juices. I also mourned those that made that fateful descent down the water slide that was the Asian man's esophagus. How far would they fall before landing on a pile of dead brethren? I was rapidly losing faith in this fraternity, with only the dandy showing any subtle appreciation for hot dogs.

When the bell rang a second time and we were instructed to put down our hot dogs, I awaited my coronation as Hot Dog King. In the ten minutes of the challenge, I had eaten three delicious hot dogs. Shockingly, to the judge my efforts were simply not enough, and he declared the beast the winner for having eaten some twenty-five hot dogs. The Asian man had proven formidable with his score of twenty-two consumed hot dogs. The dandy had managed to eat fifteen before the strain forced him to slow down and coast through the last couple minutes.

>>2807823
"Clearly, I ate the most delicious hot dogs in ten minutes," I pleaded to the judge.

"You ate three lousy hot dogs. Anybody can do that! You couldn't compete with these guys at all and I don't even know why you entered. You embarrassed us all!"

"You're going to give that beast the crown? You're going to declare him the King of Hot Dog Kingdom? Why, his ass couldn't even fit in the sacred throne!"

"Shut up and get out of here! It's time to celebrate the winners, not the sore losers!"

I was so overcome with emotion I lost my composure. Almost on cue the sky finally let loose its tears while the rumble of thunder echoed in the distance as if to signal by divine intention that I was to be the true winner. With wrath swarming in my mouth like bees in a hive, I said to the tent dwellers, "Hear me loud and hear me clear, hot dog lovers. I swear to you now, foul judge, as I swear to you all: I will bring down the Hot Dog Kingdom! Your stone walls can't protect you! I will lay siege to your castle and bring you all down!"

My furious words did little to sway them. They were content to live at peace with their crimes. They cared not for the abortion of justice they carried out nor for the horrible shame they brought upon the entire hot dog eating community. All I could do was walk away and hope that in time they would realize the error of their ways, perhaps awarding me my proper dues.

>>2807827
As I left the tent in the pouring rain, I realized that in spite of everything, I had truly won the tournament. The others had gulped down hot dogs with neither love nor affection, but rather out of pure lust for victory. I sought the crown as a way of bettering not just myself, but the entire world. Instead, I got mixed up with a bunch of hollow men who foolishly believed stuffing themselves with hot dogs would bring them meaning. The law of diminishing marginal returns certainly wouldn't agree with them on that perverse notion. I realized that hot dogs alone could not fill the empty spaces in my life and that brought me comfort. Though I suffered defeat to the soulless machinations of the hot dog eating contest, I ended up with a moral victory. True, moral victories don't come with crowns or kingdoms, but they do come with something much better: pride. I had three delicious hot dogs digesting in my stomach, and now I had a tall glass of pride to wash them down with.

>Fin.

>>2807830
That was... beautiful...

>>2807850
Thank you.
I appear to have succeeded in silencing the windbag OP, too. All is good.

that feel when a hotdog story was way more interesting than a suicide.

LOL

Amazing hot dog story.

>>2807792

It's your decision, OP. You came here, posted your writing, and asked what people think. The truth is that it's an amateur's writing, full of amateurish mistakes. You've received some very good and helpful feedback that could genuinely improve your writing- but that's not what you really wanted to hear. If you want to storm off in a huff crying that no one knows what they're talking about anyway, and show your writing to your mother or friends who will mindlessly praise it, you're the only one this will affect.

>>2807880
Can I purchase that holy text somewhere?

>>2807537
>just as you often see ants do when they find a bit of food or a dead caterpiller laying in the driveway; the only difference being it was unclear where each vehicle had come from and to where they would be going.
This is too long and it is far too clear that you are trying to hard.
>As he waited he glanced up and down the street; into the ally ways next to each building as well as into each car,
why the fuck a semi-colon was used here who will ever know
at this point I stopped reading.

>>2807962
You can... you can... copy it. It's... it's right there. I...

>>2807979
now do the hot dog story

Babbies first creative writing attempt.

inb4 "boo hoo people r being mean to me ;_; they must be trolling. My mum told me I was a good writer, but people here who know what they're actually talking about are saying otherwise ;_; dey must b lying"

This fucking hotdog story; it's a work of art.

Who should I credit when I post this story on my tumblr?

>>2808004
Josh Boruff.

>>2807880
Do you have any online identity? I don't want to lose you, I want to hear more writing from you.

This you?

http://www.linkedin.com/in/joshboruff

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/truth-josh-boruff.php

This seems on the right tracks.

that hot dog story was a perfect counterpoint to the faggotry that was op. well done! i have saved this thread

I´d like something more of a plot.

Anon Hotdog story poster was lying, "I can do more if people are interested" this story was posted in 2004 on Somethingawful, either he's only lying about just writing it then and is the author (Josh Boruff) or more likely he's just plagiarizing.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/modern-dilemma-hot.php

>>2808232
well, considering the actual author was credited, it doesn't seem like he did much harm

That hotdog story revived my desire to write. My love love literature has been taken to a new level with not only the aesthetic and comic appeal of the famous Hot Dog Story, but by it's chilling message as well.

Up until now I devoured books much like the fat man in the story. I cranked out writing only marginally better than OP's like a soulless factory. But now I know the value of passion.

Thank you.

That hotdog story was the best thing I have read in a long time... and it was about hotdogs! I really need to go sit alone for a few hours and reflect on some things... perhaps... perhaps I'll take a trip to the market and buy some hotdogs myself. Yes, thats what I'll do, I think...

Bump so others can be exposed to the greatness that is the hotdog story.

>>2809249
re-bump for the same reason

wtf @ /lit/ enjoying the hot dog story

if anything it proves they're generic fantasy faggots who have no love of prose

also suck my dick OP's post is just as bad in a different light you homos

>>2809524
that story has pretty decent prose, actually