/lit/ - Literature

what the fuck kind of a shithole are you buying your books in ?

It's only happened to me once at an indie book shop. I was purchasing some Nathanael West and the guy recommended me Daniel Fuchs and hipped me to a local screening of The Cockfighter after we started a conversation the cock fighting scene in The Day of the Locust.

Nice guy. Too bad the store closed down earlier this year.

>>2794759
A shit hole where the cashier is incredibly sexy and also down to fuck. But OP obviously ruined the opportunity.

>go to bookstore or library
>cashier starts telling you about how they read some absolute trite pop novel of the month, and how it's really great and you should read it.

>>2794753
>be at tavern
>order dram of my favourite scotch
>"that's a fine whisky, m'lord" the keeper says
>"who are you to judge my tastes, sir?" I says to him
>"apologies m'lord, I was merely commending your taste," says he
>have him beheaded

Such is life when people act sociable and of good nature.

>go to bookstore
>I know all the employees
>have nice conversations about books, our lives, the news

Chill out, OP.

>purchase SH5
>get obvious atheist humanist collegefag cashier raving about how the book is his bible

>>2794760
Also, when checking Taras Bulba out of the library the librarian asked if I had seen the film and somehow we ended up on the topic of film adaptations of Eugene O'Neill plays. That was kind of nice. I definitely like that sort of back and forth and wish it happened more often.

> Go to bookstore
> Check out employee recommendations shelf
> Nothing but young adult

>go to bookstore
>buy good books
>owner tells me how she's happy all her good books go to a good home

>buy book at bookstore
>cute Asian cashier girl with glasses congratulates you on your choice
>I wish I knew her name

>>2794786
I've came across a method with which you can attain it. It is not without risks, however, and not everyone is supposedly able to succeed at such an endeavour.

>go to bookstore
>bewitch sales staff
>fuck two of them over the next year
>hell yeah

>>2794792
>>2794791
>tfw no qt gf

there's this really friendly old(-ish) woman cashier at my local bookshop, and on the rare occasions that i go there we always have a chat and laugh. i'm convinced she's read everything in stock. there's also a pretty young cashier who's served me a few times and i always somehow manage to drop my spaghetti. it's so stressful that i wish they'd just sack her and hire an ugly old man instead.

lol america

>meet cute girl
>end up dating
>she becomes my girlfriend
>one day I post-coitally murmur in her ear that she is my property
>she says that she is her own person and can do as she pleases
>i tell her she doesn't understand and that there is only me, that I am unique and that she, among other things, is my property
>she tells me I'm a male chauvinist pig
>i tell her such concepts are merely spooks
>she looks at me like i'm crazy and gets up to leave and mockingly tells me to have some other girl as property
>i say that everything belongs to me already, i've merely to attain power over it
>she asks me who the hell i think i am
>i say that i'm the creative nothing which cannot be named
>she says i'm an asshole
>i say no attributes can properly describe the creative nothing which is the unique one
>she asks me where i get all this shit from
>i tell here that i have stated my case on nothing
>she leaves

>>2794753

Who are you quoting?

>>2794786
Nametags, penis breath.

>working at bookstore over summer to put myself through college
>nice, if a bit geeky and ugly guy comes up to the counter with Twilight
>i tell him how much I love that series
>he acts all huffy and faggy about it, walks out without saying anything

welp, back to sucking a real man's dick

>go to amazon
>have no interaction with human beings

>>2794831
Is the dick sucking also putting you through college?

>>2794835
>Amazon

How's that dick in the ass treating you?

>>2794831

implying lemmy has any use for your busted ass lips

>>2794849
>ass lips

God help us.

>>2794860
lol

>>2794753
>have enjoyable conversation
>get in a good mood for the next part of the day

>working at B&N
>customers ask me my opinion on what they buy
>don't tell them shit
I also hate it when they ask me for recommendations, like I'm supposed to know the fuck kind of books they read.

> go to used bookstore
> chat up the owner
> he's cool, i'm cool
> other cool bro starts chatting up
> we're tallking
> everything's cool
> hell, maybe i'll even buy a good used book

Enjoy your e-reading, faggots.

>>2794876
If they are asking the guy working at B&N for recommendations, they probably would be most interested in popular, young adult's fiction published within the last year.

Just make a note of what that is and tell them that.

>>2794895
I try my best to discourage people from reading those things.
I usually just try to think of an entry-level classic and recommend them that, or even a higher-level fantasy book.

>>2794904
I worked at an Indigo. You're just supposed to hype shitty, popular books. Before every shift you have a 2 minute "meeting" where they tell you about books you should hype.

Unless they think you have good taste, all they expect you to do is to sell them John Grisham or Twilight or some terrible garbage.

It's an easy as fuck job if you can get past telling people to buy awful garbage with a straight face.

>>2794914
We never have those meetings. Sometimes managers will tell us "oh, if somebody asks a similar book to [popular book], we just got a list of similar books to it, so you can tell them that if you want"
Like for 50 Shades of Grey, we just got a list of books.
Shitty books don't need my help to be hyped up, we sell enough of them to sustain a small country for a few years.

>second hand bookstore
>purchasing Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights
>average looking girl behind the counter, takes a FUCKING AGE to serve the one guy who was at the counter before me, he's an old dude, he has a ton of questions about some journal back-issues and she ends up calling her manager and deliberating over this shit for like 10 minutes while I wait
>I don't mind too much, nowhere to be, start reading Wuthering Heights while I wait
>she acts kind of awkward when she finally serves me and then as I'm turning to leave she calls 'good choice by the way'
>mfw

>>2794813
Explaining the "Union of Egoists" may have saved that relationship.

>>2794842
>Amazon screwing people more than your average book store

>>2794937
>not banging that

i am ashamed

Generally have positive stories, take my sister to the bookstore with me and really like it when I buy a book for her and they tell her she's really going to enjoy it (she's a bit too shy to speak though).

But have one example of terrible cashier.
>browsing near cashier
>man walks in
>man: have you got a copy of the Odyssey?
>cashier: not sure will have to check. Who's the author?
>man is visibly disappointed.
>Man: Homer
>cashier: Homer who?

It happened to me yesterday. I bought the Prince and we talked about it for a few minutes. Good conversation.
>mfw when OP is a dumb faggot who can't even converse with people.

>>2794876
>Hurr I'm a stupid fucking loser who can't even do my own job.
Fuck yourself, you're the worst.

>>2795009
please say your sister is an infant, otherwise it's just embarrassing

>>2795018

No. Although she looks young for her age.

>She's 17

>>2795009
>do you have a copy of mein kampf?
>who's the author

>Go to used book store
>Browsing books
>Flamboyant old fat gay talking to owner (who I assume is also gay) about the various sexual ecounters he had back in the day
>Gets into really graphic detail
>Buy The Aeneid
>Get the fuck out of there

>>2795028
is she hot?


sorry, i don't get to ask these questions in person

>>2795042

depends on whether you like the prepubescent look or not.

>>2795051
>prepubescent
>17 year old girl

wut.

>>2795051
O light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. So on.

>>2795051
I'm from /tv/ so I do.

>>2795052

Looking really young runs in my family. I'm 21 and still often don't pass for 18.

Doesn't help that she's 4'11 though.

Bookstore clerk thread?

>at barnes and noble because I got a bunch of monay on a gift card
>but some shit for my nook since I don't buy books and a learn Russian book
>cashier is a cool dude and recommends me some Russian screamo music

He wrote it on my receipt but I think I threw it out. I probably wasn't going to listen to it anyway.

>>2795005

Why should I throw some socially retarded shop clerk a pity fuck?

>>2795079
>pity fuck
>/lit/

>go to bookstore
>getting some books
>looking for that Chris Jericho book, 'Lionheart'
>go to register, ready to pay
>cashier says "o yea, that book is awesome. Also how about some In Search of Lost Time by Camus?"
>"what?"
>"In Search of Lost Time, bro. By Camus?"
>"what?"
>"you deaf or something?"
>"what?"
>hipster cashier not even knowing that Proust wrote that book before it was cool
>my rage knows no bounds
>glass breaking
>hitting a stunner on cashier
>causes commotion, customers milling about, manager comes up to see what the hubbub is
>stunners all around
>"give me a hell yea"
>someone gives me a hell yea
>gets stunner in return
>dig out the beer cans
>beer bash
>standing on register gargling down those beers
>smashing them together, splashing suds all over the books
>grab my book
>swagger out of the store
>just another satisfied /lit customer


>mfw story might not be 100 % factual

>>2795081

>implying I can't get better pussy than that any time I want it

>be bookstore
>shit im into is expensive as fuck
>make a hole in the back of my backpack
>steal half of my books
>only buy cheap one as a decoy
>fuckyeah.jpg

hey get rid of that fear and paranoia. shit is easy as fuck.

>>2795099
>being a piece of shit

if you're going to steal a book seal a digital copy. Thieves are just pieces of shit.

Also
>shit i'm into is expensive as fuck
Piss off.

>>2795105
>steal a digital copy

>>2795092
You don't belong here.

>being that one guy who can't browse the history section because a girl is relatively nearby sitting at a table

>buy The Idiot
>she smiles at you
>Has she read it or is she smiling at the title?
>she wants to fuck either way[/spoiler}

>>2795163
if you're that guy get a trip, i've missed you

>>2795169
Unfortunately I'm not, I want to look at that diagram he drew us again though.

>>2794937
>purchasing Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights

>Playing Blacklight: Retribution
>15 - 3 k/d average
>Get saddled with another team full of fucking useless 3 - 10 k/d noobs who can't pull their own weight in a KC round
>Getting kills or a decent killstreak is progressively harder because enemies aren't being killed fast enough to thin out
>eventually lose match even though I place highest on my team and the loss had nothing to do with me
>resist urge to hammer out "fucking shit team kill yourselves get off the fucking server and stick to max level 10 servers you stupid fucking skill-less faggots jesus fucking christ" in chat
>log out
>too angry and hyped to read literature

>>2794917
What are the books similar to 50 Shades of Grey?

>>2795189
Literotica.com

Enjoy

>>2794849

>implying Lemmy would read read Twilight.

>>2795183
>Getting mad at casual f2p games, and bad ones at that

>>2795183
>play Skyrim
>play a gentle and scholarly robed balding young Breton man
>mostly read books in game
>learn to make potions
>only make healing potions, no nasty things
>eventually buy a nice house
>get married, have a servant
>get a dog and a horse as well
>as is pleasant and well in Skyrim

This is how you play games.

>eat
>...
>have the urge to eat again
>...
>again

>At a bookstore
>See an Anais Nin Book
>Want to buy it, I've heard good things about her
>Says "House of Incest" on the cover
>Walk out without buying

>>2794770
SH5?? Septimus Heap book 5? by Angie Sage?

>>2795183
>>2795200
samefag

>>2794793
Please tell me what "qt gf" is?
I know gf = girlfriend but for the life of me i can't figure out the qt.

>>2795243

Say it out loud.

Cutie

The atmosphere in finnish libraries is pretty awful since most of the employees basicly hate their work and each other so trying to make conversation usually results in irritated grunts or yes/no answers at best.

>tfw you go to a bookstore with no clear ideas on what to buy and a cute girl who works there gives you really good recommendations at a great price

feelsgoodman.png

>>2795248
It is much like with the nurses in the health care institution: they've graduated from the lowest kind of professional education and get shit pay. A relative of mine who's a recovering alcoholic and has never worked in her life got a job at some library and she says she enjoys it though...

>>2795239
>Doesn't know how to check for samefags

>>2795200
I'm not mad at the game, I'm mad at people who are bad at it. Why do you think it's a bad game?

>Go to a Barnes and Noble nearby
>I had finally gotten around to finishing the Farseer Trilogy
>Go to the checkout line with Royal Assassin in tow
>Male clerk notices the novel and asks if I read much fantasy
>He ends up writing down the name of this book he wrote called "Bloodspiller" on my receipt
>Curious, when I get home I go to the B&N website and search for his book
>Glowing reviews all-round
>Was initially impressed until I realized I had just become a victim of the most elaborate samefaggotry ever devised
>He definitely multi-accounted all those reviews
>That fucking book is most likely still on the B&N site

>>2795483
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/reviews/Bloodspiller%2FIsa-Rodack/1004403729

That one? Datoldreviews

>>2795422
Tango Down was bad, not even bothering with this one.

>>2795483
You're paranoid, and
>>2795499
You're responding to a troll. But actually, now that I think about it, there's a bookstore in my town that would be a nice place to get a part-time job.

>>2795497

Yeah that's it.

>go to bookstore
>actually buy a book instead of just browsing like usual
>cashier says nothing about my purchase but comments on how awesome my shirt is

This happens every time. I just have too many nerdy shirts.

>>2795516
oh god I remember when I was 18 and wore graphic tees too

>Go to cashier at bookstore
>wait in line
>Guy happily greets everyone and has joyful conversation with them about what they're purchasing
>It's your turn
>his personality does a 180 and he looks depressed and angry at the same time and speeds you through while talking in a very flat voice
>As you leave he returns to himself for the next person in line

>>2794937

>tfw i have no money to purchase books anymore

>TFW i never had any interesting conversations with most cashiers besides hows your day, good, have a nice day.

I thought i was going to be reading something similar to a gamestop thread here but i suppose buying books isnt that bad.

>>2795183
How is black light retribution? Almost downloaded it the other day.

>>2795549
It's a solid, straightforward multiplayer fps game. Nothing radically new. Probably the only reason I like it is because I love fps games in general. If you don't, this game won't do anything to persuade you otherwise.

>mfw I buy from a bookstore that mostly sells used/out-of-print books
>mfw the owner/manager/cashier is an elderly russian man who is incredibly well-read
>mfw he suggests great books and authors all the time
>mfw he has been infinitely more helpful than /lit/ ever will be

I just come here for the banter now.

>>2795570
>>2795570
>I love fps games in general

CASUAL

>>2795572
I wanna /be/ him except not Russian

>>2795573
What's casual about fps games?

>>2795527
I'm 28 and still do, come at me bro. Mine are mostly pretty subtle. I have to dress professionally all week so fuck it I'll wear what I want on weekends.

>>2795570
Ah I might skip over it, FPS games are ok, but I like ones like Tribes Ascend, Quake 3, Halo, or TF2. I'm guessing black light is just a CoD clone from what I've read?

>>2795575
you

>>2795578
Absolutely disgusting

>>2795575
>tfw you dont know Im talking about books

>>2795580
If you don't like CoD multiplayer you won't like Blacklight.

>>2795079

Because grateful fucks are the best fucks

When I bought L’Étranger the cashier almost came in her pants.

>>>2795238

Slaughterhouse 5, you troglodyte.

>>2795574
He's fucking awesome. I was talking to him last week and he was bitching about the intellectual repression when he lived in communist Russia. He said that the best things about America are the books, the cars, the trees, and the women.

>mfw he's read a decent chunk of the Western canon in his twenty years here

>be browsing
>come across young couple looking for Summer reading
>they spot Ulysses
>Boy: "Oh, hey! Ulysses, I think I've heard of this before."
>Girl: "Oh, yeah, it sounds familiar. Who wrote it?"

mf etc.

>>2795572
>coming to /lit/ for anything but the banter
You're not the kind of faggot who starts rec threads are you?

>go to bookstore
>don't talk to anyone who works there because their either young edgy Atheist redditards, middle-aged failures that depress the shit out of me, or old fucks that waste my time
>that feel when FUCK YOU

>>2795633
I'm surprised they'd even heard of Ulysses at all.

>>2795572
No you don't.

You come because you're a faggot. And no one wants to deal with you. And you think /lit/ will put up with your faggotry, but we won't.

>go to bookstore
>walk passed new age section
>see group of hipster chicks sitting around some pseudo-intellectual douchebag talking about 'synchronicity'
>walk by same section later
>see same douchebag practicing tai chi in the middle of the fucking bookstore aisle
>suppress urge to kill

Lesson learned. Steer clear of the fucking New Age section.

>go to Boarders
>purchase The Silmarillion
>cute girl at counter gets excited upon seeing the book I'm buying
>she begins talking about it and Tolkien in general
>she's genuinely happy
>she's looking at me expecting the same enthusiasm
>I'm too shy to do anything but blush and say "yep".
>leave quickly
>think about a future together

That would be pretty cool, people who work in my local bookstor might as well be flipping burgers.

>>2795857
Oh god, I know that feel.

It's especially bad when you think of all sorts of stuff to say ... but it's half an hour later.

>>2795079
>Implying you wouldn't enjoy the shit out of it.
It's not like your saving your jizz for something.

>>2795092
You're on 4chan. You can't.

>>2794876

Ask what they like.

Use the knowledge you SHOULD have about various genres and authors to pick out something they may like based on what they have previously enjoyed.

Unless you are one of those cock mouthed faggots that runs around here knowing nothing about anything and you just pretend you know fuck all about shit.

>>2795575
Uh... everything.

>>2795578
>Wearing nerd tees random people understand at a glance.
>Calls them subtle.

Opinionated shopkeeps/librarians are best-tier.

When I was in Ireland, I was in a bookshop and they had giant stacks of sheet music, which I happily purchased - and the old store owner was a huge classical music fan and was in a local choir, so he talked about what he liked and disliked about what I'd picked out. We had a major discussion sesh on Bach and Figaro, and I thought he was a pretty cool guy. I don't see why people get all pissy when someone states their opinion.

>>2795613
>Reading Vonnegut.
>Calling other's intelligence into question.

>>2795646
Oh please, it's hardly an obscure book.

>>2795660
>Implying you're not putting up with his faggotry right now.

>>2795688
>hipster
>new age

>2012
>buying stuff from stores instead of online

I know you guys pride yourselves on being above all the kids on the rest of the site, but we're telling the truth when we say putting your card details in to Amazon won't get them stolen.

It took me a while to convince my mum that was true.

>>2795939

ha ha, this.

>>2795954
Good, good. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

>>2795954

>2012
>PAYING FOR BOOKS & NOT JUST ORDERING THEM TO THE LIBRARY

who the fuck pays for books unless they're ridiculously hard to find.

>>2794770
>atheist
>humanist
>goes to college
Oh no, what an awful person.

My usual bookstore is like a chemist - they just say thanks very good and pack you on your way - either that or I look autistic and they're afraid they'll upset me.

>>2794770

>how the book is his bible

dear god, how cringe worthy that must have been. that shit is embarrassing.

>Go to Barnes & Noble
>buy 4 philosophy books
>cute cashier chick asks if I'm buying these for school
>I reply they're for reading in my free time.
>She says she's barely been able to have free reading time because of her job.
>I remark the irony of her situation.
>We both laugh.
>She wishes me good day and I return the compliment.

Good day.

>>2795286
>Doesn't know that nurses are grossly overpaid in most countries, as they're more and more doing the routine monkey work that doctors used to.

>>2796027
>overpaid

What. Where do you live?

>>2795647
Nah, I just observed passively and looked at others' posts for books I might enjoy.

>>2796039

It's true for most first world countries, and even a lot of third world countries.

>>2794770
What the fuck? Everybody knows 4 was the last good Silent Hill.

>>2796039
They tend to have kickass unions.

>>2796027
>as they're more and more doing the routine monkey work that doctors used to.
>Doesn't know what a nurse is.

Well I don't need them telling me I have bad taste, but when they like the book it's fine. When I bought The Yiddish Policemen's Union the cashier told me it was a great book, they were right too.

>>2796090
>Doesn't know both my parents are doctors and I have first- and second-hand knowledge of the situation.

>>2796095
>Doesn't know my dad's a doctor and my mum's a nurse
Hurr durrr daddy told me.
Nursing can take a lot of study, pal. They perform work doctors have the expertise for, fine, but doctors are doing separate work and it's not as though some scrub can just pick up the nursing profession and go with it either.

>>2796108
ITT: poster getting pissy because I insulted his mommy's job

>pissy because he knows it's monkey work

>>2795924
That's exactly what happened. What makes it really embarrassing/painful to think about is that I'm actually a massive Tolkien fan/nerd, so I would have naturally had heaps to talk about with her. It's just that my spaghetti kicks in around women and it was only after I left that I realized I could have carried on talking to her for hours.

Fml.

>>2795954
>when we say putting your card details in to Amazon won't get them stolen.
How naive.
All your details head off into some database somewhere, and it only takes one fuckup by Amazon and your shit is gone.

>go to bookstore
>buy a bunch of nietzsche books
>i stammer out a request for them to be gift wrapped in an attempt to make it look like im not some kind of newbie who's getting them for myself
>i was getting them for myself
>still havent finished any of them

>>2796263
I love you, /lit/.

>go to library
>take out a book
>everything goes fine