/lit/ - Literature

as shes telling me about forest sprites, we hear a loud crash, and then a few seconds later a splash in the water.
>we run towards the sound and we find that one of the old cabins had been completely destroyed
>“its probably just because the wood was rotting,” i tell her
>she has this weird look in her eyes and she looks at me ans says “no..”
>lolwat
>“what about the splash?” she asks me
>we look at the lake and notice the water has been disturbed
>we get closer and it gets really cold all of a sudden, I get goosebumps and I can see my breath in front of me
>she grabs my arm and she pulls me back
>“we have to go.,” she says, “its not safe here.”
>i didnt know what she was talking about but i was getting a bit freaked out so i agree
>we run back to our bikes and she tells me to get home before dark
>it was about 7:00pm
>“umm ok ill try,” i say
>“ill see you at school,” she replies and we depart
>so i get home at around 8:00, it was starting to get dark, I get off my bike and as I’m about to enter my garage, i hear this weird screech off in the distance
>umm
>i go inside and close the door

2/5

buzz like on uk's no. 1 dance troop
just stop

next morning i wake up and i feel really tired
>i get up and get ready for school
>i walk out of my house, pick up my bike next to the garage and realize it looks really worn out, the paint was peeling off and the pedals were a bit rusty
>“thats a bit weird,” i say to myself but i shrug it off and go to school
>tatiana was waiting for me at the entrance
>she greets me and asks me if i slept well
>“yes, though i woke up feeling really tired,” i tell her
>“hmm me too,” she says
Me: also i left my bike outside of my house and this morning the paint was peeling off
>she looks at me with a concerned look
>“dont worry about it,” she says and then looks away
Me: you wanna go back to the campsite after school again?
>“no,” she tells me, “lets go somewhere else..how about Mrs Medleys Cafe?”
>“sure we can do that,” i reply
> “i just gotta go to my house first and tell my uncle,” she says
Me: yeah no problem
>when school is over i head into the outskirts of town towards Mrs Medleys
>she owns a small place with the back against the forest, it doesnt have alot of people during the summer but it gets packed during winter.
>i go inside and order some cookies while i wait for Tatiana

3/5

>>2730235
but im not done...

>about 10 minutes later she arrives
>she looks around and waves when she spots me
>she walks towards my table and sits down
>“hi,” she says
>“hello,” I reply
Me: hey you still got your book bag, I thought you went home
Tatiana: oh yeah I went and got something I wanted to show you
>she reaches into the bag and pulls out a black book with leather bindings.
> “woah what is that?“ I ask her
>she smiles and says, “it’s a Grimoire, its been in my family for generations, its passed down from mother to daughter..my mom, she gave it to me before she..”
Me: oh sorry about that
Tatiana: that’s okay she says, her spirit is still alive, shes just in another place now
>theres a moment of silence and then she opens the book

4/5

>“look,” she says and shows me a page
>theres a lot of weird symbols and drawings of a weird creature that looks like a giant worm with fins
Me: that looks cool but I don’t know what it says
Tatiana: oh right I forgot she says, it’s a spell of binding
Me: a spell of binding?
Tatiana: yeah for the creature
Me: what creature?
Tatiana: at the lake, I dint want to tell you because it would freak you out but there’s a water serpent in the lake
>“we have to bind it,“ she says, “or else its gonna hurt somebody, its mating season and they can get very aggressive.”
Me: umm, so youre telling me that theres a magical creature in the lake? After all of these years it just suddenly popped up?
Tatiana: well it only comes out every 400 years to mate, its been asleep under the campsite, I went back that night and investigated, theres a big hole in the cabin that collapsed and I found its burrow.
Me: are you sure the ground just didn’t collapse? Im sure its nothing
Tatiana: you don’t believe me?
Me: well I mean, Its not that I don’t, its just that I don’t really believe in that kind of stuff..
Tatiana: oh okay…well mr skeptical, would you change your mind if you saw the serpent?
>“ha sure,” I reply
>“okay lets go” she says
Me: right now? Theres a storm coming..im not sure ..
>“are you scared of a little rain?” she laughs, “or maybe.. youre scared of the serpent..”
Me: WHAT? No im not scared, looks if you wanna go that’s fine but don’t complain when it starts pouring I tell her.
>she orders a piece of apple pie to go and we head out

5/5

this is beautiful OP please continue

>>2730248
oh well thats all i got so far,i wanted to know if the story was interesting enough to continue, i knew theres thousands of other stories about a pale goth girl, so im not sure..should i change her to a ginger or something?

>>2730246
>“are you scared of a little rain?” she laughs, “or maybe.. youre scared of the serpent..”

>her mom passed awat

I bet that hurt. I once passed a gallstone and that stung like a motherfucker. Give your slut's mum my sympathy for passing a wat.

>>2730259
harharhar

so any criticism?


comments, opinions and ideas are welcomed.

I see you're using the superior green-text format.

>>2730280
its easier to read imo

>>2730229
>Tatiana

maybe she can look like this instead?

curly brown hair

maybe like this?

or dis

or this.

Or maybe this.

>>2730246
>“are you scared of a little rain?” she laughs, “or maybe.. youre scared of the serpent..”

>>2730256
>i knew theres thousands of other stories about a pale goth girl

Its not the pale goth girl, the entire stories a cliche.
That said, I like it. Cliches are nice

I think the girl simbolizes death and the lake simbolizes vagina, the monster diving in is your penis: you have an erotic fixation with death. Very good OP 10/10

>>2731556
For all the fags that didn't find the genius of this story I will explain further because it's 4:00 am here and why the fuck not.
>weird kid, no friends, very introverted
probably with suicidal tendencies too
>she was really pale, skinny
death anyone? also, goth
>“what about the splash?” she asks me
>we look at the lake and notice the water has been disturbed
the girl (death) is all wet asking for him to fuck her but he's a betafag
>a weird creature that looks like a giant worm with fins
self explanatory, except for the fins, that shit is weird, seriously OP
>“are you scared of a little rain?” she laughs, “or maybe.. youre scared of the serpent..”
meaning: are you a pussy OP or just plain fag? (rain=cum, serpent=you can solve this one)
Also, I change my mind 15/10

Is this her?

>>2731556
The fuck are you talking about? I think it's obvious that Tatiana killed her mother. She never had a father, and seeing as this Grimoire had been passed down to her - the faith in this evil takes the position as a authorative father figure (The book being the materialistic form, teaching her about the dangers of life, how to behave, and how to protect herself). Thus, of course, as the mother was competing for the love of her father, (homeschooling, Tatiana never had any father-daughter time) she had to kill her.
Of course, OP stands as a third party viewer - seeing Tatiana engaging in pseudo-inscest. We all know that this animal became active long before it was ready for implantation, and Tatiana knew this.

She just searched for it now - during the most fertile period. Shit's fucking crazy, OP.

>>2731569
>>2731556
>making up a bullshit subtext with Austrian-witchdoctor undertones
7/10

>>2731569
Maybe OP's mom is dead and he wants to have sex with her posthumously.

>>2731584
You are full of bullshit, don't you see that the goth thing is a double reference, sure it is related to death (as I said before), but it is also related to gothic literature. Do you even into Mary Shelley? OP'S MC is a subtle incarnation of Dr. Frankenstein, the serpent is his monstrous creation wich he can not control. His search for erotic mental associations to death was first deliberate, a search if you may, but he no longer has control over it.

>>2730273
Yeah, go post this on /x/, and write more.

See? This is how an actual educated observation is made. >>2731601

>>2731611

>>2731605
Nah dawg, this is the Electra complex, OP is a neo-freudian writer. I give him 8/10.

OP, tell us about your mother.

>>2731633
supportive bump, was she a MILF?

>>2730229
Change the story, take the occult away, make tatiana a preop transexual and make her fuck the main character in the ass during the visit in the abbandoned campground.

>>2730259
I did the same, but stung isn't the right word. More like jump on the deck and flop like a fish spongebob squarepants.