/lit/ - Literature

I think not.

there's a thread like this every other day on /lit/. not one of you will ever successfully write anything easilly-digestible or best-selling so stop contemplating it.

>>2689633

Actually good sir I have recently written a children's book that is being taken up by a very good literary agent as we speak.

Children and young adult are very different markets. Young adult is very specific and it take genuine talent to write. There is good young adult stuff out there. If you want to pay bills, do not go for young adult. It will not happen. Many adult markets are far easier to write for than young adult. Being easy to read and easy to write are two very different things.

For clarification, the YA market is the hardest to make money in, and the one publishers are least willing to take risks on. It has the smallest target market, and after 14 40% of people will never read another book, except for school.

>>2689613

Are there any follow up pictures of that bird with, say, a pool cue jammed up her cunt? Or getting fucked on the table maybe?

>>2689920
It's from a shitty british tv show, but I'm pretty sure there's sex

Personally, I'd rather spend my time and energy on something I could be proud of, something I myself would want to read and could glean some reward from. It seems the adult and YA literary markets are both incredibly difficult to break into.

>>2689921

Who is she? She's kind of hot in a gamine sort of a way.

>>2689928
dakota blue richards
show is seasons 5 & 6 of skins, but in the entire 5th one she's pretty much a crossdresser

>>2689935

>dakota blue richards

That's a name? Never mind then, I've gone right off her.

>>2689953

She was Lyra in the godawful His Dark Materials film adaptation.

>>2689986

I understood that sentence up to the word "was"

>>2689935
welp, time to pick up Skins again I guess

first few seasons was my favorite guilty pleasure show, but I got bored around season 4 I think

>>2690008
Season 5 is somewhat okay, but it all goes to shit in 6. It's really, really dumb what the writers do.

Then again the even-numbered seasons of skins always sort of mess up everything.

>>2690021
Skins went to shit after the 'original group' were replaced.
Fuck Effy and her shitty friends. AND FUCK EVERYTHING AFTER HER.

>>2690054

>caring about shitty TV shows
>posting about them on a literature board
>tripcunts

>>2690054
I fucking hated the first iteration of friends, but the troglodytes they replaced it with made the original kids look like the fucking Cosby family.

>>2690054
>>2690054
Seasons 1 and 2 were the best, season 3 and 4 were quite good though, I fell in love with the twins. The recent two were pretty shit though Although I liked the parts when they were in morocco.

>>2690620
I hated friends from the very first episode and I still hate it to this day.

There are some clips of it on youtube with the canned laughter stripped out, and its fucking horrible. They seem to freeze after every pun for five seconds. But seriously though, people who find friends funny should be euthanized.

>>2690630
Friends is to Seinfeld what Danielle Steele is to Proust

>>2690630

This.

>>2690642
Seinfeld is supposed to be funny?
I thought the premise was to make a show that is as annoying as humanly possible.

>>2690681
>dissing seinfeld

>>2690642

Seinfeld is to Curb Your Enthusiasm as Stephenie Meyer is to Shakespeare

>>2690686
I physically cringe everytime I hear that synthetic bass guitar and know I'll have to change the channel

>>2690690
hahahano.

Seinfeld was a breakthrough in sitcoms.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is entertaining but nowhere near as important/good as Seinfeld. What do you know anyway, tripfag.

>>2690692

>>2690709

I recognize the importance of Seinfeld to the development of the sitcom, I just can't stand it, personally. I find Curb far more enjoyable.

It's true though, I don't know a thing, I just know what I like.

>>2690711
Frankly I find most American attempts at humour to be a bit lackluster.
Bar Bill Hicks, of course.

fucking frankie
she makes my dick twinge

Britfag reporting in. I have honestly never seen a single episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm. We get bombarded with friends reruns though.

Which is probably why Hicks gained fame in England and recorded his specials there. It was only years later that the Americans realised what they had missed.

But I agree most American comedies seem to be lacking something.

>>2690718
Curb is just Seinfeld with a 21st century aesthetic

If you like one but not the other, I'm not sure you paid close enough attention.

Their plot devices are functionally similar. In both cases, normal people go about their daily lives only to be bothered by some tiny social interaction which they can't stand because they overanalyze it too much. Hilarity ensues.

>>2690732

This, it's terrible isn't it?

I do like Community and Arrested Development.

>>2690742

I realize they're very similar shows, they follow the same basic format, I just find Larry David's character far more appealing and funny than I ever did Jerry or Costanza, though Kramer had good moments.

Larry's awkwardness and ability to fuck up any situation is what makes the show for me - Costanza followed the same basic model but he's not fleshed out as hilariously as the LD character, imo.

>>2690755
Constanza was too pathetic to sympathize with tho, most people can say ld is in the right in many cases, it's harder with george.

>>2689613
write about vampire guys with a pseudoromantic shit, market it towards teen girls.

>>2690732
More 4 shows Curb Your Enthusiasm
Seinfeld got air time on a cable channel in the 90s.

Feel sorry for you bro, you're missing out.

>>2690844

Hahaha, no. You are really slowpoking if you think no one else has noticed that Twilight is popular and tried to cash in by writing a novel about sexy vampires in love with teenage girls. You'll have a very hard time selling a vampire YA novel now because the market was saturated YEARS ago. Even dystopian YA fiction, the current big thing in terms of sales, is getting difficult to sell agents on because they've already got plenty of it. Publishing trends wane, and by the time you notice that Twilight or Hunger Games is popular, agents have already noticed it was generating buzz and began taking on manuscripts for similar stuff weeks or months ago.

guide to making money with writing books:

*Meaningless plot
*Meaningless characters
*Action
*Mild sex
*Characters with lots of oneliners and wittyness
*catchy cover art
*End with a cliffhanger

Rinse and repeat until you have like 30 books published in a series and murder yourself for what you've created.

>>2691012

Go to bed, George.

>>2690885
>Encouraging people to watch mind-numbing sitcoms

Hey, weren't you told to fuck off and never come back?

Bitch. Git yer clogs offa my pool table!


Not bad for a British Christina Hendricks though. :q

Are we still posting about Skins? Did you know that Naomi backwards is "I moan" ?

>>2690738
Oh boy...


Hicks, quite simply, wasn't funny. Someone like Hedberg is a pure comedy aesthete -funnny for funny's sake. Hick just exploded with pseudo-revolutionary invective any time he was near a microphone. At least Carlin had the good taste to throw in a joke once in a while.

>>2691227
Thanks for the factoid, Van Wilder.

>>2690690

come the fuck on, dude

>>2691348

Sorry, I just don't see the appeal in Seinfeld. Curb is fucking amazing.

>>2690021
Grace makes up for everything though. Basically the perfect girl.

>>2691341
Mitch Hedberg was terrible. He could only handle simple one line jokes. admittedly a few were quite funny jokes "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too" But there was no way he could come close to Hicks as an entertainer.

>>2691357
>beautiful
>nice to people and full of good cheer
>classy without being prudish
>wild enough hedonist streaks to be fun without being a slutty degenerate waster
>intelligent
>versed in high culture
>exotic but not too exotic

God yes.

>>2691381
black as the Congolese night

>>2691374
Screaming at the top of your lungs about all of the plebs you're so tragically surrounded by isn't really all that funny. Once upon a time, when I first discovered Hicks, I thought "Woah, this shit's crazy!" But very quickly this changed to "Woah, this shit's shit."

>>2691388

So?

>>2691374
He just built up these ridiculous strawmen which he proceeded to burn down to the delight of his audience. Hicks was a hack, 'kay? 'kay.

>>2691389
b-but Hicks w-was right about everything.

There were only a few occasions where Hicks was screaming, check out his first special that is pretty mild. If you want screaming though you should check out Sam Kinison, that guy is intense.

What do you think of Doug Stanhope then? He's often put into that Carlin/Hicks/Bruce group.

If you had the capability to pay the bills that way I (an avid reader and someone who's therapist says spends far too much time worrying about morals and living life in a moral way) would not only support you but respect you. I have the utmost respect for Stine who said that he thought of the title to Say Cheese and Die and then wrote the book. He wrote a book per month (I have a copy of first editions where he would advertise the next month's publication at the end and I was in awe that he could write that fast...now in my twenties I realize why he could.) I still hold incredible respect for him who practiced and perfected his craft. He never wrote Anna Karenina or The Stranger but he wrote stuff that was entertaining and bone chilling (I still get a little creeped out when I pick up a copy of fear street and read a little of it.)

If it helps you practice the small things (introducing characters, using realistic language vs. unrealistic language to differentiate between static and stoic characters, etc.) and gets you enough money to pursue artistic endeavors fucking go for it.

Even the greatest known composers wrote simple pleasing tunes for the king and queen to help finance their artistic pieces that we still know and care about today.

>Hicks
>ONE TIME I GOT REALLY HIGH LOL IT WAS FUNNY WHY IS WEED ILLEGAL FUCK CHRISTIANS THER SO DUMB XD

Yeah, not funny.

Write shit like Dean Koontz and stuff. Old women fucking love those unoriginal myseries.

>>2691676

>that feel when he says the same fucking thing in every performance

It's like, he couldn't think of anything else to say or something!

>>2691407
I fucking hate Kinison even more than Hicks.

To be honest, I haven't heard all that much from Stanhope, but I know someone who was inspired to do comedy by him; this person is truly insufferable. I think everyone's got one of those "oh why does no one recognize my comedic genius" facebook friends, and he's mine. His idea of comedy is overt statements about deformities and an impression of Kurt Cobain where he pulls his shirt up over his head.