/lit/ - Literature

>>2624726
YOUR HUNGRY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR WOULDN'T BE SHIT
IF IT WAS RAINING GOD DAMN SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS
HE WOULD BE FULL AS FUCK BECAUSE IT'S RAINING FUCKING FOOD

I personally like the deep symbolism of this book. It can't even all be explained in a single post.

>>2624731
Caterpillars don't eat Italian food you dunce.

>implying this isn't the greatest book
>smoke trees erry day

>>2624731

strega nona is by far the superior supernatural pasta story

You must all be retarded
Get on my reading level motherfuckers
I bet you wouldn't understand a single word in this fucking book

>>2624737
hey look i can be hipster too
you don't even know where this shit is from

YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKERS.
This cat will break into your fucking house.
Demand you break all your shit.
And not even give a single fuck.
This jolly mother fucker can get away with anything.
He will eat your caterpillar without a shred of guilt.
He will throw all your spaghetti away for no reason.
He doesn't even want it, he jut wants to throw it away.
Don't mess with Dr. Seusss.
God damn.

>>2624744
>stinky cheese man
>hipster
y u gotta be so full of h8

~xXXx~ luv not stryf thats how i liv my lyf ~xXXx~

This is the single most inspirational thing ever
If you were a fucking train you couldn't go where this fucker went
He did shit you could never imagined doing
Man this is the most badass train ever
He just doesn't give a fuck
He goes where he wants

What? You fags need a STORY throughout the book? Nigga this book has a new fucking story on every page. They got red and blue fish, that's fucking it. Next story motherfucker.

>>2624753
>da pussy in da hood
>the true story of how a hairy vagrant with a hat became the top pimp in LA
>directed by Francis Ford Coppola

Dr. Seuss is back again bitches, this time with breakfast that has food poisoning.
YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT IT, SAM I AM?
Too bad, we will chase you for literally the rest of your life.
The only thing that can be said again is, GOD DAMN.

you dont just read a book like pat the bunny
you FEEL it, man

I bet you thought Santa was a fat ass man. NOPE. He's a fucking mouse. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that huge ass flatscreen through your tiny ass chimney every year? Show some respect to this nigga because he doesn't give a fuck. And god damn, he's a mouse. You don't have to give him 5 fucking cookies and a glass a milk. You trying to give a nigga diabetes?

Fuck yeah I hate trees. This book is all about cutting down trees. Doesn't get more hardcore than that.

>>2624753
After the brutal raping that the Cat gave you, there you are lying on the floor sobbing. But at least it's over, right?

WRONG. This nigga comin' back for more. Up in your crib and he doesn't give a fuck cause he's back motherfucker. Prepare your anus.

This is almost Cracked levels of unfunny.

In all seriousness, this is pretty deep shit. It forces you to consider the implications of a world without objective morality vis-a-vis man's search for self actualization.
Plus, there's a killer twist ending: The monster is you

This book has a good moral to the story: Fuck mice. They will destroy your house or something. I don't really remember. Anyway don't give mice sweets after bed time or they turn into monsters.

So there Horton is, up in his crib, right? Just chillin, you know whatever. Then, all of a fucking sudden, he hear one of his hoes crying out. What the fuck? Horton thought he told that bitch to shut the fuck up. Now she's talking up some bullshit. Follow Horton on a perplexing adventure of comedy, romance, and hoes.

>>2624786
This isn't meant to be funny.
We are having a serious discussion.
Take the Berenstain Bears. They're a family of bears. Bears aren't funny. They're dangerous creatures.

My nigga brown bear is the star of this book. Brown bear is in the hood trying to score some dope, when all of a sudden in the middle of the deal the cops come up to him. They starting askin my nigga what he sees and shit, trying to get him to rat that nigga out. But brown bear is a true nigga and he say to the cops he ain't seen shit. That's my nigga.

Everytime

>>2624788

shit is hella metatextual

>>2624790
>This book has a good moral to the story: Fuck mice.

Where the fuck you going to go? Well according to my nigga Dr. Seuss, you going to be tripping some serious acid because this place looks fucking trippy man. I don't know what kind of acid you're dropping but it looks like serious shit. Oh, the places you gon' be goin.

Here we have a very touching story. Curious George is about a young African American man, and his struggles in every day life. A good read if you like underdog stories.

This book about Frog and Toad's hood days. Them niggas go way back. They real niggas though and they homies for life. They got that unbreakable bound going on nigga. Frog is a ballin ass nigga but really he got a soft side for animals. But Toad just don't give a fuck, Frog think that one day Toad gon' do too much crack and he gon' OD so he send Toad to rehab and he's fucking pissed yo.

This book is also trippy as fuck. There's all sorts of crazy drawings, and harold struggles with his inner conflicts.

A'ight, so there's this little nigga that's already addicted to crack when he real little, right? And he gettin his fix from this tree. Every single damn day that tree had some crack for his ass. That little nigga smoked crack till he was all grown. Then one day he come up to the tree to ask for some crack, but the tree askin fo' money now. This little nigga never had no need for money before and he don't know what the fuck is going on. So he steals he crack from the tree, and since the tree is a fuckin tree he can't do shit. Man fuck that nigga.

At its face value, this is about a boy who runs away to an island and meets strange creatures. Really, it's about a little white boy who runs away to the hood, and meets a bunch of gangsta ass niggas. He scared at first, but he be rollin wit glocks and BUSTING some PUNK ASS NIGGAS every SINGLE DAY by the end. God damn dis nigga go ham. At the end he gets revenge and drive-bys his parents.

This is about a man who uses selective breeding to eventually create a species of fish with crack infused into its skin. Cats all over the world get hooked on this shit, and eventually there's so many cats, he gets suffocated and dies.

So, there's this farmer who secretly a crack dealer. But it aint really a secret, every nigga in town knows about it. And recently, he been dealing to these bunnies. Now this farmer thinks that's some weird shit, them being bunnies and all, but he don't give a fuck. Bunny money is good. But there's this one little ass bunny, Peter fuckin' Cottontail. This nigga aint never have no money. Every day he would come up to the farmer and beg for god damn crack like it was his bread and butter. Every day that little nigga would come runnin up his farm, the farmer would say "Here comes motherfucking Peter Cottontail"

>>2624867
that is fucking hardcore

This is officially the best thread on /lit/.

I never knew so many children's books directly incorporated crack and ghettos into their story lines.

good moral, no one likes fat people

So, it's you and Pooh in the kitchen. Both of you are baked out of your mind, as usual. And all of a sudden, Pooh gets this crazy idea to put some damn weed in cookies. This motherfucker starts getting some cookie dough and then sprinkling weed in it. Now you're like, how the fuck is that supposed to work? You smoke weed, not eat it. But Pooh does it anyway. When you bite into them niggas, you swear it's the best shit you ever ate. And that's how weed cookies was made.

This bitch smokes so much crack, she poor as fuck as a result. Just look at those bloodshot eyes. Anyway after having no money left, she has to eat flies and shit. She dies or something, niggas don't care about old bitches.

This book about a crazy ass train. It goes straight to the north pole, and you'll never guess what's up there. A crazy ass ghetto. Santa is a big ass crack dealer, and he got thousands of crack addicted midgets making toys for him. But it aight cause he give the toys to children.

>>2624887
>missing the obvious scatological references

>>2624933
Some of these texts are very dense, very difficult to penetrate. I think I can give him a pass as he was clearly reading for a different, though no less significant, subtext

It has been fun, /lit/.
Good night.

>>2624960

Good night.

I've never read OPs book. Is it an American thing for the hard-of-thinking?

"What you mean it ain't none of my beeswax? Man, fuck your shit, Beezus."

>>2625007
It's an American thing for children, obviously.

You know, for kids?

>>2624737
FUCK YEAH, STINKY CHEESEMAN. THAT WAS MY FAVORITE BOOK GROWING UP, IRONICALLY I TURNED INTO A STONER IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE I READ THAT SHIT TOO MUCH.

>>2625013

Oh, right. So that's why it's being discussed on an adults board?

Can it be Mr Men tiem nao?

tfw you realise that mr. uppity is actually a nigger, and the whole series of books was probably hideously racist.

>>2625025
>4chan
>Adults

Is it your first time here? And have you not noticed the theme of the thread being childrens books?

>>2625018
Nigga I'm not surprised.
That dank-ass shit'll fuck you up freal.

Bump for posterity, this is gold.

>smoke slugs errday

>>2624807
I can't stop laughing. It shouldn't even be funny but I can't stop.

>>2624740
Not even kidding this book used to freak me the fuck out because I thought there was so much hidden meaning in the pictures. God that feeling was crazy, like being being scared but without the fear.

bump

This is, perhaps, the least amusing attempt at a funny thread I've ever seen. Jesus Christ, no wonder most of the writing pieces that are posted on /lit/ are shit, the people writing them are probably as dumb as the people who posted here.

bumpin

>15
>Have to write assessment for English on book of choice
>Write it on we're going on a bear hunt
>Got an A*