/lit/ - Literature

Because we wouldn't fuck, and Asimov has more interesting things to say.

m-maybe someday i will have a great mind, be well-spoken and make money, then y-you want me for something other than holding your drinks.

I prefer to spend my time fapping at you rather than being humiliated because of my ugliness and social retardation by you.

bitches and whores

You're quite expensive, and it's easier to endure the mild shame of being a solitary than the weeks of pretending to care what you think so I can penetrate you. Also, pornography is free and readily available now, so I can have a richer range of erotic stimuli jacking off than I could ever realistically expect dating.

Because I have a long list of books that need to be read before I die.

I can't read I have ADHD

Because books don't judge me.

>>2569413
This is a pretty good answer.

>>2569391
/thread
/bitches

A combination of the girl on the far right and the one on the left would be best.

I'm pretty socially awkward.

>>2569528

Thanks man!

Fun?
Is it fun to be speding the rest of your life with AIDS of some other shit you carry?
Well to for me, mow excuse me while I go fap to some loli.

>>2569568
*not for

>>2569546
>implying middle girl isn't the best thing since sliced bread

Y-You Mirin My Serratus Bitch?
B-Back that ass up....
>implying reading about the female reproductive organ isn't exciting and overwhelming

listen i'll give you guys one day every two weeks
i'm just busy these days
tell you what, give me a look at your tits and i promise i'm there next weekend

op, drop dead, faggot

>>2569616
>implying sliced bread is a great invention and not just made for people too lazy to slice it themselves

>>2569386
Fine, I'll spend time with you, but only you on the left, you look like you'd sleep with me because you're trying to establish yourself as some sort of quirky person.

>>2569680
>implying that isn't just an expression

b-b-but i'm only on page 487 of Infinite Jest, I don't have time for girls.

>>2569713
How many pages into Infinite Jest you get before realizing it's not a real thing is the test of your gullibility. You are 387 pages past hopelessly fucking stupid.

>>2569721
Why is grammar important?

>>2569721

>look Dad I'm trolling!
>GO TO BED YOU LITTLE SHIT

>>2569740
go back to reddit

got gf she sick, she better then girls in pic.

>>2569772
you should go give her le dick

Left has nice tits.

Would put down a novel for her.

>>2569808
nice? fuck theyre huge. disgusting.
i would put a novel on her face and maybe she would be ok.

>>2569808
They look really, really heavy. I bet she's going to have back problems later in life if she doesn't get them reduced.

>>2569839
she can just start lifting

What the hell are you supposed to talk about with girls anyway? Like shoes or something? Girls like shoes, right?

>>2569843
she does the talking, you nod occasionally and pretend you're paying attention.

Because I like my women skinny and almost no tits that's why.

>>2569843
Okay so what you do is, you get a bunch of stupid, entry-level questions. We're talking the basics of introduction. Arrange them on a wheel in your head, and spin. Spit out whichever one you consider first. Listen to her blab, and if you come up with any other questions from her yapping, let them loose. If not, spin again.

>>2569845
>>2569846
Huh, okay. Thanks. Good to know,

I'm gay

How the fuck did you get out of my basement!? Hey whats on the TV?

>>2569858
i think this is quite effective. that would keep them away.

>>2569850
Well, you don't want to come off as an interrogator either, so offer some of your own thoughts and stories as well. You know, like you're conversing with a human being. If the two of you find each other interesting enough, you might just want to stay in contact!

why do girls and popular people in general always ask stuff like this. its usually why are you so quiet. i dont ask them why do you get drunk or why are you so loud? its like their curiosity stems from insecurity in thei own lives when faced with someone living differently.

>>2569882
Why are you so quiet, lol? Are you shy or something?

Because I usually don't have fun with you.

>>2569877
Hmmm...okay, more food for thought. Thanks. At the risk of being a /lit/ stereotype, I've spent so much time with my nose in a book that I really have no idea how to chat up a girl. Occupational hazard of being a /lit/huanian, I suppose.

>>2569877
> in order to learn how to speak to a girl, you need to know how to a speak to a human
Woah, nice advice man!

I have no problem talking to girls and I can often get a good conversation about books or art with even the most basic of slut. The main problem is that they all think I'm much younger than my actual age.

Perhaps i should just date 16 year olds?

>>2569885
Yes.

>>2569386
Out out damn bitches! I turn my back for one second and they multiply on my fucking couch, yes my fucking couch: the place where I fuck! GET OUT! I will call you. Proust calls.

>>2569931
Don't, 16 year olds are terrible.

can all of you just move to /r9k/ or /adv/ or /soc/ or something? or just make these threads there

You better not spill that drink on my books bitch.

>tfw when the cute girl that sits next to me everyday asked me a question and i answered it dismissively and we sat in awkward silence for 5 minutes until more people came into class.

i wasn't always this aspie, i swear.

>>2570250
lol i used to worry about that when i made parties in my place.
i just stopped doing it and now everything is better.

>>2570263
Are you me?

Because I'm fucked in the head

Because you thought Hunger Games was a good story, so we will never be happy together with our differences.

You know I nee my alone time. We'll party and fuck like rabbits over the weekend. Maybe I can talk to your friends about the virtue of strength and truth in literature and we can have a threesome. If you would just learn a little French we could be having a giant foursome after you seduced your friend on the end there.

>be an English major
>get more tail than autistic engineers
>hurr durr I'll make more money
We know what you really want.

Is that a pen?

>>2570914
>get more tail than autistic engineers
What makes you think that? People mistake autism for confidence if the guy's attractive enough anyway.

>>2570919
Only until they actually talk to him and say something like 'it's raining cats and dogs' and he freaks the fuck out.

>>2570914
It's true, but it probably won't last long.

Because a good book can keep you entertained for days. You would get boring after an hour.

B-because I l-like your boobs.

Honestly, the buxom girl's face is a huge turn-off. Looks like an old lady Halloween mask.

>>2571628
The blond's face with the titcow's body and the non-attention whore's personality would be perfect.

because i think you're the fucking antichrist

They wouldn't fuck me, so why should I give a single fuck?

>>2569843
>Speak of real literature, no sci-crap
>Don't give a crap aka don't worry to be judged
> See her trying to catch your words, if she tries, fuck her, if she don't get out

Silly girls, you think you can run to page 15 on /lit/?

I've already fucked women of this quality by employing wit and kindness in the face of drunken stupidity. Offences are usually by frat-brutes, who become pawns in my plans. That being said I do that on the fly when such a woman wants to hang out unexpectedly. Those instances aside I would rather be improving my economic status, learning, training, or other such important things than hounding after sloppy slut sauce.

I don't spend all my time reading alone. I read when I'm on break at work, or nothing's going on. I go out places.

>>2572710
lol let them go.
it's not like there wont be more of them coming