/lit/ - Literature

>go to a library
>rent a book
>find a 40oz in a book
>get so high like biggie's cds would in the charts.

>go to library
>rent a book
>take it home
>wank off
>take a piss & shit
>wipe dick and ass, dont wash hands
>read book
>realize other people might have and probably have done the same

>go to a library
>alarms go off
>guy runs into me
>"Get the fuck out of the way!"
>Feeling shitty say: "Where's the fire?"
>"3454 Elm St., now get out of here!"
>was in fire station the whole time
>last time I go there to check out books

>go to library
>rent a book
>read said book
>rip hardback off book
>replace hardback with cardboard
>cardboard covered with skin
>paint on design in blood
>laminate
>return to library
>ask if the book IS the author.

> check out books from the library
> take off shirt
> cover stomach and back with books with the help of tape
> survive prison stabbing

>>2358063

is that you, omar ?

>>2358063

Omar from the wire posting on mah /lit/

Mah niggah.

>>2358063
>be Atlas of World War Two
>get donated to prison library
>nobody reads me
>only used to protect inmates from stabbings
>don't want to live anymore
>learn secrets of transformation
>want to be a giant gun
>learn to hate Autobot scum
>befriend other like minded guys
>become Megatron
>be usurped by Starscream
>thatfeel.jpg when ejected into space
>omg thanks Unicron
>become Galvatron
>melt Starscream at his coronation
>books no longer exist
>wince whenever I think of my former self

>Go to library
>Get Mein Kampf, Goosebumps, Animorphs and a romance book with Fabio on the front holding a sword
>Go up to the counter
>Stern redhead librarian
>Just KNOW she is all quiet at work, but when she unwinds she is a bondage freak
>I go to tell her this in order to take her home and have her electrocute my nipples
>She tells me to be quiet, this is a library
>Sorry
>Give her my books
>She smiles
>Oh god she is hot, why did I get Goosebumps
>Feel a rumbling of the bowels
>And Mein Kampf, she'll think I am the fuhrer
>I need to fart
>Thank god I got Animorphs
>My vuvuzela explodes from my trenchcoat pocket in a stream of spaghetti
>It flies into the air
>Lands on the ground mouthpiece up
>I slip on the spaghetti
>Land on my vuvuzela, it goes deep into my ass
>Start farting
>Librarian tells me to be quiet, this is a library
>I'm sorry
>God, I am sorry
>Keep playing the vuvuzela as I fart
>I'm so... So sorry...
>Try to pick up my spaghetti
>No use
>People are telling me to be quiet, they are trying to read
>Hightail it out of there
>Steal some of the books of the month as I go
>Alarms go off
>People chase me out of there trying to get the books back
>The vuvuzela is still trumpeting away, why cant I stop farting
>There is a large crowd
>I run down the main street with a crowd following me playing a vuvuzela with my ass
>People think we are re-enacting The Pied Piper, join the crowd
>Spaghetti everywhere
>Run to the river
>Pull a sharp left at the last second
>The crowd's momentum keeps it going
>They fall into the river
>Hundreds die
>I stop farting
>Realise one of the books I stole was the new Goosebumps book
Everything went better than expected.

> go to library
> check out book
> take it home
> glue it to the other books, forming a wall
> cheap way to build annex for Manga collection

>>2358092
11/10

>>2358092
I call bullshit.

Who wipes their dick?

>>2358092

>Thank god I got Animorphs

>>2358092

>>2358092

> go to library
> surf porn
> jerk off
> take a piss and shit
> don't wash hands
> take a nap
> go home

>>2358092
Oh God, I'm done.

>go to university library
>reach top floor
>find aisle of hundred year old obscure russian texts
>fap
>finish
>walk away
>go downstairs
>about to leave
>security guy staring at camera monitors
>mfw

> go to small ancient history department library
> get bunch of books for studies
> walk up to counter
> cute girl at the counter looks appreciative at titles, gives smile
> for the next couple of times the same thing
> meet her outside of library
> she comes up to me
> talks to me about all the books I checked out
> asks me what I am writing about
> addresses me by name
> realize I did not give her my name
> get coffee, talk for hours
> plan to meet up on the weekend
> she doesn't show up at the date, not at the library next week, library staff gives me weird looks
> after a week, get visit from police officer asking for girl
> apparently last person to have seen her before disappearance
> WTF

>>2358188
admit it! where did you hide the body!

>Go to university library
>On the top floor, notice the large vault-like door to the "Special Archives" halls unlocked and ajar.
>Never even knew this library had such a secured section
>Start poking around
>Find some ancient-looking, well-worn books written in a language with an obscure writing system which I can not identify.
>Start flipping through the book, filled with mysterious symbols and odd diagrams that appeared to resemble old cosmological charts and diagrams.
>One page has a weathered note tucked inside, with random translations of the strange symbols
>Sudden moment of horror, ran out of library screaming, suffered mental breakdown, never sane again etc etc

/lovecraftstory

>peel dry skin off my body
>place it between pages of library book
I actually do this

> go to library, shortly before closing time
> check out books
> clerk is having technical difficulties, leaves to get assistance
> cue is forming behind me
> people complain, clerk not in sight
> end of opening hours, janitor tells us to leave
> clerk has apparently left to go home
> take books without checking them out
> go back next morning to get them checked out properly
> accused of theft
> by clerk same clerk

this is why i want to commit suicide
>me and friend would go exploring the great brown Forrest behind our houses
>a rumor had sprung about a drifter who had died in the woods
>we kept saying bullshit as if the police would have searched for him
>any way one day we go to this little lake sort of thing with an island in the middle
>my friend tells me there's a raft to the side
>we use it to get to said island
>find small tent
>no one around , only beer bottles and bits of hunting rifles
>friend digs around under a blanket and retrieves some sort of worn out diary
>etched onto the front cover is "drifting away"
>its a diary by the drifter
>me and friend take turns reading it
>at some point we get to half way and find that the following pages have been typed out and glued to the page bottom
>its typed in fucking Latin
>we go to town library to get it translated
>guy there is a writer , he flips through the book a bit and says "boys come by tomorrow , ill have it done then"
>never see him again
>he appears in Seattle with a new book "the found soul"
>he fucking stole the book
>working my way to him
>slowly
>slowly gonna find him

>>2358092
That's the best thing I've read all day.