/lit/ - Literature

>>23504064
Once you have children, all your spare time is dedicated to them. So you finish your work to provide for your family materially, and come home to nurture them socially and spiritually, along with doing your other duties as a father.

I'm in my 30s, have been married (without kids) before, and have friends that have children. Its quite obvious that they never have time for their own pursuits.

That said, if you were rich? It could work out that you have enough time for your own pursuits, provided you didn't have to work for money and you had staff or a SAHM to nanny your children.

>>23504064
It's more valid than ever. 100 years ago a woman would still benefit your life somewhat, despite the obvious drawbacks in terms of individuality. The average woman nowadays is just a seething blob of negatives who offers nothing but used up vagina.

>>23504064
Houellebecq has a son, though.

>>23504064
I’ve been in two, ~2!year long relationships (17-19) and (24-26).

Both girls pined after some absolutely stereotypical bad boy who dealt drugs, fucked a lot of girls, etc at the one year mark. The second half of the relationship was me constantly being paranoid and jealous, and eventually dumping them preemptively to avoid getting Cucked.

The first time I genuinely and blindly loved the girl and it took a whole year to get over it. Second relationship I Cucked her preemptively to maximize the emotional damage and to punish her, and my social reputation got destroyed in the process.

Now I just fuck hookers in Thailand. I’m never getting into a relationship again. Such an immense and massive waste of time and emotional energy for nothing and I was never good enough. It’s fucking infuriating

I made it clear I was hurt by what they were doing and they didn’t care at all. It was humiliating and disgusting how rabidly they pursued these men while still being in a relationship with me

>>23504088
Why did you divorce?

>>23504096
Houellebecq had his son in his early twenties then they divorced and I don't think he saw him very often, at least he seemed to have lived alone and lived his own life without having to take care of him.

>>23504099
>I made it clear I was hurt by what they were doing and they didn’t care at all. It was humiliating and disgusting how rabidly they pursued these men while still being in a relationship with me
How exactly did they pine in a way that was noticeable to you? Also would they be of a similar "type" - ie one you're attracted to, unwittingly or wittingly?

>>23504099
I was dating a woman who is a single mother last year. She is intelligent (comparatively speaking to most girls I've worked with / met) and has raised his son by herself from 23 years old, and she also comes from relatively extreme poverty so it's quite impressive she had ambition etc. That said, not long before we broke up (I wouldn't commit to marrying one day) I asked her off-hand if she thinks we would have dated ten years ago, and she laughed and immediately said "I would never have dated you ten years ago". Should I feel aggrieved about that or am I being a chud by caring?

>>23504104
>Why did you divorce?
I think COVID. She became increasingly radicalized towards the left. She became a complete misandrist as well. It seems COVID-related divorces were common, but ultimately it just meant they we probably would not have stood the test of time.

>>23504114
She's just commenting on her own character, and her tastes from when she was younger. She's probably saying it in a self-admonishing way. People grow and reflect on their past selves. I too, today, would have dated different people 10 years ago if I had the foresight.

>>23504119
Sad. Thanks for answering.

>>23504127
Yes, to be fair she did clarify but still. We have/had quite different personalities, so I was quite worried she was taking advantage of me in some way.

>>23504064
>famous writers and philosophers
Artists too. Read the biographies of the Old Masters. Many of them completely shunned women and marriage. And the ones who were married, like Durer, tended to be unhappy about it.

>>23504064
keep in mind that when you marry a woman, you basically enter a contract to help her keep up appearances, compete with the Joneses, etc

its a monumental amount of mental time usage

>>23504064
This has essentially been my mindset since I got into music/visual art at 18. I would like to think it has served me well.

But I haven't fapped in like 8 months now and I'm so god damn horny constantly that I want to be in a relationship for the first time in my life. I can't bear it... nofap's retarded but so useful. but pretty much everyone's comments here seem right to me. It seems like there's so much social up-keep and status-chasing involved with relationships.

I think professional artists con justify it more than aspiring artists though. If you can treat art as a full-time job it seems reasonable to have a relationship outside of working hours.

>>23504064
>they feared it would serve as a distraction
yeah just like how incels say they actually never liked women and wouldn't buckle at the knees if a moderately attractive one talked to them

Let's be honest, autistic spergs make for good extremists, writing is no exception. Being an autistic sperg is bad for your dating odds.

>>23505043
What would you say are the benefits of nofap? I tried and despite noticing some better mental clarity after 2-3 days anything after that starts giving me dimishing returns and after a point (usually after a week) I start becoming moody and easily angered.

>>23505062
I've been on-and-off NoFap for like 3 years and have tried to note how I react to it. I don't get out of my house much so I'm kind of unaware of how it affects social life.

Overall, NoFap is really over-rated and full of absolute retards, BUT for whatever reason I always come back to it. Can't entirely explain it, but there's something nice about it. There are definitely benefits.

Obviously a big benefit is time saved. I'm not gooning for like 30 fucking minutes every day. I used to nut pretty often just for the sake of post-nut clarity so I could think more clearly, but on NoFap, that mental fog from not masturbating doesn't ever seem to be an issue for me. I also have always thought it made me read more ambitious books. In that sense, I do think it makes you smarter (only in terms of potential/capacity for harder thinking).

I'd say my mood is more stable on NoFap because of the ups-and-downs of masturbating. I'm skeptical to say I'm less irritable. It might be true.

Also you kind of need to run from your horniness by staying busy so that's a plus. The obvious con is that if you don't have a busy life already (like me), you are just unbearably horny, which can hinder productivity, but if you are busy, it can be great I think.

I don't know if you've made it longer than 1-2 weeks, but I would definitely say the benefits are not so clear until much longer. It's much more subtle than I think NoFap testimonies make them out to be (I don't blame them because it takes some level of self-delusional to initially have a successful reset). For my first 4 months on NoFap, my brain was a horny war zone. It took a while for my brain to stabilize. Now, whenever I go back to masturbating for a few months and restart NoFap, I can get back to the stability and clarity of NoFap a lot quicker than 4 months. Usually within a month I feel pretty stable, but it never gets easy unless you are out of the house and busy (which I have been on other streaks but not right now).

>>23505062
>>23505125
Actually I might have misspoke. Mental clarity definitely comes pretty quickly. But I'd give more than 2 weeks if I were you. You'd probably get a stable mental clarity pretty soon after. I was reading Shakespeare within a couple weeks of NoFap (I find Shakespeare challenging but that's just me)

>>23504064
ahem plap plap plap

>>23505062
NTA but I can give a small insight after hitting three months.
Increased: verbal fluency, mental clarity, energy, self esteem, mood, discipline, motivation & horniness
Decreased: brain fog, maladaptive thoughts, emotional management.
My ability to remain cool under pressure stayed about the same. Strangely, my ability to remain cool in disagreements decreased quite a bit. Perhaps it's the extra testosterone. Perhaps facing life without resorting to cooming makes one aware of its difficulties. Either way, it's mostly beneficial.

>>23505043
>and I'm so god damn horny constantly that I want to be in a relationship for the first time in my life. I can't bear it...
This is me after 24 hours of not fapping

>>23505898
>Increased: verbal fluency,
that sounds great

>>23505043
I wish I was like this. My horniness is dead