/lit/ - Literature

Part 2

Unless Betty is twelve you don't write like Nabokov.

>You write like H. P. Lovecraft

>>2347746
>You guys jelly?
>splendour
girlslaughing.jpg
gtfo.

>>2347776
Note: quoting one word and not commenting on why you find it objectionable isn't sufficient in putting across your point.

>>2347786
>objectionable
>objective
>2012
>"literature"
>king dick
ISHYGDDT

>>2347789
I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say you illiterate greentext cunt.

>>>/r9k/

>>2347801
U jelly?

>>2347808
Not really.

>>2347811
Exactly.

>>2347815
Still, bet you can't write like Vladimir Nabokov.

>>2347750

Nope. U jelly?

I'M A KOREAN
SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN
AMERICAN IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?
DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?
AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING
GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING U.S.A

I LOVE COCK I LOVE PENIS I LOVE DICK I LOVE PHALLUS I LOVE SCROTUM I LOVE MEMBERS I LOVE MANHOOD I ESPECIALLY LOVE GIVING BLOWJOBS

link please

>>2347857
>>>http://iwl.me/

Dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit dragons rape watery shit

For no particular reason, I periodically sneak off in the dead of night to the nearby corn farming field wearing nothing but a matching pink nighty and panties that I stole from my little cousin approximately 7 years ago. I then break off a part of the stalk (whatever the fuck you call the leafy outcroppings), wrap it around my member that is now throbbing with anticipation, and proceed to vigorously masturbate until I cum. I have to be careful during harvest season though...

arohqerghaejfwef98sef;oihargnibjwoefaeiurhgioejfiuaehriofjaidni34jr9wjfuadhfgjawe.
asdgoijadgweiheirjgaer weflaiusdflkahrge rgliuhwriuw4b239hfs9p8vasdfh.
ago;iaejrgfwhefjaeiurhgwehfuiaehrgoerg

airefljakdknfdkg;l.gmdjkfvclksanfoia aji aejgljerglk ajialrelgjam gdfkjlh aiortourgf v iealgkag avialjgrekntiortanegv irlgjn,agagihearijlga g gearljteklrt eag rtltiu4tiu45ngkmv,oguearng 959 ajkekagkehlartiouaeng vueitlnfyau8retijaegv oguw4o597ojtgkmallER3OANG ARTIAKMAKa ailrjgkagja islrgjljlgjg

>smell my farts, mothafucka, oh yeah smell my anus sucka
>smell my shit mothafucka, i know you like browney browney little puta
>I write like Chuck Palahniuk

Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.

>>2347864
Great minds think alike it seems.

>>2347869
We're surely the greatest writers of the post-Finnegans Wake world.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meetrandom ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
*~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

My Neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack

First you gotta put your neck into it
Ah, don't stop, just do, do it
Then you roll your tongue, from the back up to the front
Then ya get it off, keep me up on ya
Make sure I keep my eyes on ya
All over the club and stuff
Real player show me so much love
The best love comes slow and long
Knows how to stay down on ya
All night 'till the crack of dawn
Real good, keep it comin' strong
Through the night, making so much love
In dead sleep when the sun comes up

Multiple dicks, one for every hole, and then some. Thick rods of desire pushed in and out of her every aching orifice. A thick cock dribbled inside of her mouth as her tongue swirled furiously over the head, taking in every drop. Another cock thrust into her wet pussy, filling it completely, then retracting, and then repeating the process. A long, slender dick worked its way into her ass, sliding wholly into her colon and out again. Balls slapped and men grunted as the dicks moved faster and faster until, at last, all three emptied themselves. The girl came too, her fuck holes determined to squeeze every last drop of cum from those pulsating members.

Apparently that passage means I write like James Joyce.

Cracky's so fucking cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, than take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot ass for hours, and forcing my cock up her throat so she chocked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then. as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd wisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her into a bin bag. Three weeks later, some playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest.
They will be scarred for life.

Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!

These days I find myself grinding my teeth incessantly
my gum on one side is receding, showing tooth, like a wolf
like a wolf without the passion, like a sad wolf
You see, it doesn’t work? A mopey wolf

I am stuck on groundhog day, each day like D day,
the enemy my own thought and feeling
at wars with souls and pretentious beings
It’s easy to submit to yourself, whatever that means

Cast a cynic eye on every other person, filled with hate logic
contradictory, logic cannot be swathed in subjectivity, can it?

These days I feel sick revulsion at everybody.

>post related

bitch nigga finna gonna get some black bitches on my dick man know what i mean nigga fo real das tha good shit swag
>James Joyce

Like George mother-fucking Orwell. Could not be happier.

>>2347951
Ever wondered about water? Why there’s so much of it here, but, so far, nowhere else in the world? I know I do. And if you don’t wonder, you should. So much of it, so little known about it. So little known about what is underneath. There’s so much there, so much undiscovered...... there could be so, so much under there; an entire species even. All those disappearances, what to think? And of course, such a species would need a place to live. A place in the middle of the ocean, away from everything else… the Bermuda doing quite nicely. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Bermuda Triangle? There have been disappearances there for centuries, presumably before written records. And, so you know, the disappearances around the area of the Triangle have been increasing. What’s that mean? It’s growing, and there are more disappearances. So, next time you’re on a cruise, or swimming in the ocean...... just remember to be careful.

>Smash face into keyboard
>Get Ursula K. Le Guin

I just pasted a Hemingway quote and the bitch said David Foster Wallace.

>>2347964
DFW wrote how Hemmingway talked.

>>2347959
Fixed.

Very dense Ireland novels references. I love cocks in my tight ass. Farts.

Result:

You write like James Joyce

>yes, id like a large hambuger, two medium fries, a large sprite, and make it to go please.
I write like stephen king

WHAT?

>>2347999

>>2348002
>>2347999

I got HP Lovecraft, DFW and Cory Doctorow based on three excerpts from the same story of mine. Entertaining but really kind of useless.

Then I submitted a paragraph from something I'd written in a pseudo-Victorian style and got Dickens, which was kind of neat.

Who is Cory Doctorow and why does he RULE

>>2348007

>Who is Cory Doctorow

get out.

>Excerpt from 'Goosebumps HorrorLand: Revenge Of The Living Dummy' by R.L. Stine

You may wonder why my best friend, Molly Molloy, and I were in the old graveyard late at night.

I shivered as I thought about what we were doing. Wind howled through the trees, and pale streaks of lightning cracked the sky.

"Hurry, Molly," I whispered, hugging myself as the moon disappeared behind the clouds. "It's going to storm."

"I am hurrying, Britney," Molly said. "But the ground . . . it's really hard."

>>2347967
DFW writes like an undergrad who just read Nietzsche and feels it's his sworn duty to tell his English Comp I class about it every time he opens his mouth.

>Ann Rice
>I masturbated fervently over her sleeping figure as she slept soundly, her mid-sleep moans further fueling my desires. She wore nothing; her body was plainly exposed before me. Apparently, she had kicked off her sheets while in the middle of a dream. Her nice plump belly heaved up and down along with her breath, rolling on down into her fat, soft, pale thighs which finally led on down into hear deliciously chubby feet. Her black hair contrasted heavily with her white face. So nice and chubby her cheeks were, and her lips just looked so soft! After I peeked in to check on her, I just couldn't help myself. I began to reach my limit, but, instead of pulling out a tissue or heading over to a garbage bin, I decided to do what I have always dreamed of doing: ejaculate on her face. I shot my ejaculate directly on here mere inches from her face. I then flinched and huddled down on the floor. Why did I do that? She's going to hate for this. She'll leave and I'll never see her again. She'll call the authorities and I'll be lock up forever. But what I heard was nothing of the sort. "Mmm... It's so nice and salty... Do you have any more?" I looked up. She had propped herself up on her side and was using her free had to put my ejaculate into her mouth. She then crawled, or, should I say, leap off the bed on to me and kissed me directly on the lips. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle with you..." Her hefty form on top of me, I groped her behind as she moaned softly...

;_;

>>2348034
What's wrong with writing like Douglas Adams?

I write like: Stephen King

I write like Edgar Allen Poe

>Asimov

Check which famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers.

Any text in English will do: your latest blog post, journal entry, comment, chapter of your unfinished book, etc. For reliable results paste at least a few paragraphs (not tweets).

Paste your text here:

I always get Salinger, Twain, or Vonnegut.

Guess I'm not too upset by that.

Nigger niggers nigger niggers stormfront anon nigger niggers

It always says that I write like Palahniuk or Vonnegut.

Not too bad.

>>2348111
Apparently when I put in a different story I got Arthur Clarke. When I put in three different college essays I wrote for English 1010 I got Lovecraft each time.

This thing sucks! I mean, I pasted some of the strangest, most experimental stuff I've written and I got H.P. Lovecraft.

And then I pasted in some regular shit; I got David Foster Wallace.

And then I pasted some text from a story I never finished and I got Vladimir Nabokov. This thing is just flattery. Alexander Pope would hate it.

Who the fuck is Cory Doctorow and why the fuck is it saying that I write like him?

>>I woke up at four thirty this morning to prepare for another day of labor. After spending the first fifteen minutes sobbing in bed, consumed by the futility of life, I pulled myself together enough that I could leave the shelter of my room. The Weird Sisters, three Barbies that I had nailed to my bedroom door in a fit of drunken madness, glared at me with their callous plastic eyes. I have no idea why I made them, but they've taken on a life of their own and I am too afraid to take them down.

Oh god, I got Dan Brown.

>>2348231
Same here. I feel sad now

>ITT: jeopardizing artistic property by submitting it for review without copyright.

>>2348248
Lucky bastard. Reading 11/22/63 right now - digging it.

>Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
not sure if that's really a compliment

Who is Vladimir Nabokov? I just went to this website for the first time and submitted a paragraph I wrote earlier today and it told me I write like hm.

MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG

MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG

MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG


MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG
MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG
MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG
MARGARET MARGARET MARGARET *WOOP* *WOOP* SWAG

I'm happy with this, but this thing needs more authors.

what's the algorithm like on this thing. it's open source, has anybody analyzed it?
i got orwell, btw

>>2348303
you shouldn't be on this board if you dont know who nabakov is

>>2348371
its completely random
you can submit the same thing multiple times and get different results

>>2348378
and if you can't spell his name correctly where should you be?

>I had fun once, and it was terrible.
>J.D Salinger

>mfw I have no face

And the nigger turned around and told me to pick it up, "do it yourself, nigger" I said then turned around to stab him.
~Mark Twain

I am proud to sound American

The morning squeezed the centre of his crown and a pressure behind his eyes pummeled the thoughts of awakening . These crass mornings, always the same disgust that showed itself to him upon the recognition of consciousness, the knee jerk reaction to the same familiar thoughts of identity and life beginning to emerge that would smash break the serene calm ether of presentess that pervaded his dreams every night. The dreams of the man of the ocean, yes, his dreams had been fixated on a single theme recently, sea-born laddy! He would often find himself upon a large passenger boat, which would often sink only occasionally making it to the destination. What did it all mean? What did anything mean? Evil thoughts again, that chastise his girlfriend and makes me lust for the other one, the one that I hopelessly flailed myself in front of, hoping for a chance of escape. Or was it just the idea of freedom that he craved? Was it just the knowing that other roads were available to him if needs be? This girl was truly beautiful in a way that he had not seen beauty before, and the air of calm aloofness that surrounded her reminded her of himself. Well, that cannot a wholly self serving thought, can it?

>>2349006

Looks as if you were projecting when you switched to first person to bitch about your girlfriend

>>2349008

I'm sorry Leo. You're right and it won't happen again.

>>2348381
It doesn't. My guess is it just compares words you use to the authors in the database

I submitted a few things that I wrote myself and, no matter what I submit, I get Corey Dotorow, I've never read any of his works. Is he good? Since I'm getting him a lot I'm going to assume no.

y u jelly /lit/?

>>2349013
I'd guess the program assesses both syntax and vocabulary.

Well, well! Off to earn some easy cash! See ya, douchebags!

>>2348199
Holy crap that must be an advanced English class!

I'm fine with this ...

Well I put two novels in.
Firt got Douglas Adams which was weird for a shitty young adult scifi.
The second got David Foster Wallace which makes me confused.

Every time I try to analyze my writing I'm redirected to a 404 page.

2deep4them