/lit/ - Literature

Four shits down today. My asshole is starting to feel sore.

I'm tired

I live in dreams. As my days became more bland and blurred, my dreams grew more wild and distinct. I can recall dreams from a year ago, but few real days stand out.

It appeared like morning dew.
The miracle of mana in the purest form of a Woman.
I tried to fight the feeling, but to no avail.
I was lost in a whole new world, no going back!

>>23471243
nice

>>23471243

Ego + skill = Confidence

Ego + low skill = Delusion

sorry for bad english
i keep thinking about killing myself like daily, i believe the only reason preventing me is the love of my family
yet i can't keep living with this pain and anger toward myself and everything around me
i work as a security for a company guarding some houses at night far from home with no friend and no college degree only coworkers i talk to often but as soon as our shift starts everyone goes to a different are to guard so i stay alone till the morning to go to sleep and eat to wake up to repeat this
i go home for a couple days every month to see my parents and siblings

>>23471367
actually it's the other way around

>>23471122
I finally fucking understood why I have such a big problem reading English books. It's because I exclusively browse English sites on the internet, and because of the massive amount of information condensed in one place, my brain learned to just skim past all that info without trying to understand any of it. It's not an attention span problem. I could read French just fine despite not having read any books in forever.
Just to give you an idea, it took me a whole week to get through The Road, but only two weeks for Notre-Dame de Paris despite the latter being over 4 times longer, having an archaic vocabulary, and some long non-plot related sections.

Going to church hungover again

>>23471438
I just got back from church.

>>23471459
Okay Mr east coast

>>23471463
I'm not East Coast. Central.

>>23471464
You guys dtart at 8am or what

>>23471466
10am mass

>>23471468
>he's a papist
How's letting an Italian tell you what to do going?

>>23471480
It's great

>>23471487
I let the inspired Holy Bible tell me what to do and what to believe, personally.

>>23471383
Get something to study and spend your time on that. It doesn't have to be something academic, but it should be something you would regret abandoning. You have to carve out purpose and meaning for yourself.

the inscription on my tombstone reads - wish you were here

If Muslims had any integrity, they would become Unitarians instead of trying to impose their way onto Europeans.

I don't know what to do with this summer.
I think I'm gonna have conflict with my roommate. We never really worked out who does what. It's kind of a weird arrangement. He needs to get a job. Man I can't think. I've been mostly staying in bed for two days. I want to go see my family. I don't really know what to make of the friends I have now. I'm very far from being comfortable with life, which is kind of OK in a way, it comes and goes. I think there are systems in your head that are always evolving in some direction, and the ups and downs are a part of the evolution. Or maybe in your heart. I think my heart is mostly sealed. I feel like there is a kind of spirituality for me that is consistently growing surer, but much of that is quite divorced from life. I feel quite mechanical when interacting with real life, and being, as the bard put it, "hiding in my room, safe within my womb" doesn't really do much good I don't think. I don't know, things have had a way of coming together. As I said, it's an evolution. But for now, I'm getting a little bit stir-crazy having basically stayed inside for two days. I did go for a walk today but it started raining pretty heavily, so I cut it short. Now my plan is to go to bed in an hour. I imagine I will spend it on the internet. I could go for another walk, the rain stopped. That's probably the best thing I can do. It can happen that you kind of teach yourself helplessness. But with how my head has been- it's just, like, you have to make some kind of choice. I thought it would be best to hide within my room. I gotta get out tomorrow though.

Yeah there are good things happening.

I am as formless as liquid.
I am simply shaped and molded.
It pains me, at least, but I cannot change it.
Think of the Oceans I must fill!

>>23471274
lol

morning sirs

>>23471122
They built this little shopping area near my living quarters, with high end shops and bars, I am impoverished, but I've taken to coming here once a week or so, ordering a drink, reading and walking around. What I've found is thay alcohol, sunlight and being around people is extremely good for one's health and disposition, even if you don't interact with anyone directly. I feel better every time I do it, and less misanthropic. The experience has convinced me that misanthropy boils down to projected self hatred. I enjoy watching people mill about, I smile when I see them.

I also am considering taking up alcoholism. Seems like a power move.

>>23471243
You would have been a sorcerer in pre industrial society.

After years of trying to come with an answer for what I want, I've come up with absolutely fucking nothing. I have read on many different philosophies trying to find something that would fit me but every single philosophical idea I've put my mind across is just very flawed in one way or another. The closest I thought I arrived at the truth was when I was reading upon nondualism, with traditions like Advaita Vedanta, Taoism and Zen. Unfortunately, they did not seem to fit me at all. I guess the thing that attracted me the most was the idea of everything being Brahman, Tao, Buddha or whatever you want to call it. But what displeased me was the fact that they still tried to enforce certain ethics on you that you must follow. Don't get me wrong, I think these ethics are still important in their own right, but for me, I just hate being told what to do. Like I want to love everything I want, do whatever the fuck I want, care for whatever I want to care about and believe whatever I wanna believe in. A lot of people call that hedonism but I don't think I can call myself a hedonist either since I can't prioritize pleasure all the time for certain reasons. I am not agnostic, nor an atheist, nor religious, nor deist etc. Like I think that these things co-exist in a very strange manner. Like there's Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Zeus or whatever if you believe in them personally, or that you'll be sent to Hyperborea or Agartha in the afterlife if you so desire. Honestly, I don't know what the fuck can I call myself at this point. What even am I anymore?

>>23472089
>me watching history thing about weird old timey cures and diseases
>my medical condition gets mentioned
>cure is to stop being a virgin no sex haver loser
Those alchemists are personally attacking me from beyond the grave

Synchronicity? yea or nay?

>>23471122
I skipped coffee this morning and for the first time in forever i was actually productive and could focus.
I wish i could kick my addiction to it. It's such a shitty drug

The tent is coming down.

One time I was hanging out with a buddy at his house and he invited two mutual female acquaintances over. I figured I would impress them with my superior musical taste by selecting as background music the isolated bass track to Peace Sells by Megadeth. About 20 seconds in, he gives me a "dude wtf you're scaring the hoes" look and turns it off.

>>23472259
>listening to isolated instrumental tracks around other people
Honestly the only reason to listen to that stuff is to study it. Not sure why it would appeal to someone who isn't a musician

I have a fantasy where I fuck a female booktuber so good and take her to the edge of orgasm, keeping her there for several minutes, eyes rolled to the back of her head, and say I will only let her come if she denounces books and declares all reading to be nonsense and a waste of time, and in her unthinking ecstasy she does this, whereupon I give her the release she craves. She wakes up and I am gone. There is a note on the table:
>Passion échangée contre plaisir
Over the next few days she begins to feel like Roquentin in Nausea. The crochet sweater looks wrong, etc. She weighs the black penguin classic against the summer evening.

After an unusually long absence, she posts a video to her channel: “Taking some time off.” In bed that night she’s going through comments, when her heart stops. There, among the messages
>Passion échangée contre plaisir

She clicks on the profile. Messages me. “Who are you?” “Why do I feel this way?” “What did you do to me?” “Please, help me!!”

And then I just don’t reply. She never posts again. Few years later she ends up on BookTok: “popular booktuber who went insane and burned down her house.”

>>23472142
Get a job and dedicate yourself to it. Use leisure time to focus on hobbies. That's the best you're gonna get.

Is maldoror anon here? I like him

I had a fantasy where I fuck a female booktuber so good and take her to the edge of orgasm, keeping her there for several minutes, eyes rolled to the back of her head, and say I will only let her come if she denounces books and declares all reading to be nonsense and a waste of time, and in her unthinking ecstasy she does this, whereupon I give her the release she craves. She wakes up and I am gone. There is a note on the table:
>Passion échangée contre plaisir
Over the next few days she begins to feel like Roquentin in Nausea. The crochet sweater looks wrong, etc. She weighs the black penguin classic against the summer evening...

After an unusually long absence, she posts a video to her channel: “Taking some time off.” In bed that night she’s going through comments, when her heart stops. There, among the messages
>Passion échangée contre plaisir

She clicks on the profile. Messages me. “Who are you?” “Why do I feel this way?” “What did you do to me?” “Please, help me!!”

And then I just don’t reply. She never posts again. Few years later she ends up on BookTok: “popular booktuber who went insane and burned down her house.”

I had a fantasy where I fuck a female booktuber so good and take her to the edge of orgasm, keeping her there for several minutes, eyes rolled to the back of her head, and say I will only let her come if she renounces books and declares all reading to be nonsense and a waste of time, and in her unthinking ecstasy she does this, whereupon I give her the release she craves. She wakes up and I am gone. There is a note on the table:
>Passion échangée contre plaisir
Over the next few days she begins to feel like Roquentin in Nausea. The crochet sweater looks wrong, etc. She weighs the black penguin classic against the summer evening...

After an unusually long absence, she posts a video to her channel: “Taking some time off.” In bed that night she’s going through comments, when her heart stops. There, among the messages
>Passion échangée contre plaisir

She clicks on the profile. Messages me. “Who are you?” “Why do I feel this way?” “What did you do to me?” “Please, help me!!”

And then I just don’t reply. She never posts again. Few years later she ends up on BookTok: “popular booktuber who went insane and burned down her house.”

>>23472142
>I want to love everything I want, do whatever the fuck I want, care for whatever I want to care about and believe whatever I wanna believe in.
Dude you know what you want. You want to be an arbitrary rando without discipline.

>>23472392
true story?

>>23472400
Yeah but he wants the benefits that come with discipline which is why I said
>fuck u
>get a job

>>23471122
Imagine being so bad at everything pertaining to sex that you could be spellbound by a cult leader or a demagogue, or pay for a place in any kind of stadium. They're out there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v530n0gM9p0

I lost my phone at the top of the waterfall and thought I would never see it again. but me and the old man climbed up a second time and actually found it. so yea push yourself and you might get what you want

This was my thesis for music school, I had to make 2 songs at least 5 minutes long
https://vocaroo.com/1foYTambzCvR
https://vocaroo.com/1bvIgPOe4kv4

feel great today for no reason at all. everything in my life is exactly the same as when I am suicidally depressed, and I just don't give damn. I feel great. I need to get it into my head that my moods really are fleeting and not to get to concerned with. I need to ride the waves. I will be suicidally depressed again, probably soon, but right now I feel great, untouchable.

i am not my body. i don't care about my body; it doesn't belong to me.

>>23472673

To invert (and thus correct) the line sometimes attributed to C.S. Lewis...

You don't have a soul. You are a body. You have a delusion.

>>23472695
fuck you man, I am not a body.

I'm going to start lying wayyy more.

Maybe I should just learn Greek and spend the rest of my life pretending to be a Byzantine.

Another day, another me not being able to write.

Maybe I should make an elaborate and stylistic statue of a samurai, with the inside empty and the height perfectly matching me, put it outside in public, then get inside and spend entire days straight silently watching the people come and go. I don't know.

>>23471122
Somewhere along the line I lost my femdom fetish and acquired a fetish for being the dominant partner myself. Perhaps it is a result of better self-confidence, or perhaps it is a form of sexual maturity.

>>23471122
The fact that this universe can't manifest magic is whack and I am tired of pretending it isn't. Just let us tap into elements, you cunt universe.

>>23472754
This world is very good at killing you without magic

>>23472754
It's literally all just magic hidden under complicated titles.

one carpet beetle appears every night and I kill it. No idea where these fuckers are hiding.

>>23471383
Quit your job, then join the army.

>>23472762
>it's le heckin chemistry and tesla coils
No, real magic.
>>23472758
Way less fun tho.

>>23472767
i smoked 3-5 'Taliban' in the army

There's a guy I've been talking to daily from morning to night for the last 5 full years. We have the same taste in music, games, anime, girls, mostly the same political and social views, the same race, a history of loose cooperation between our countries. I am currently learning his language and dialect, for reasons unrelated to our relationship, and when I get good enough I plan to actively talk to him in it and to have him help me know his dialect better. Saying the exact same thing at the exact same time is something that happens to us almost everyday, and is what inspired me to make this post. We're also almost the same age. If he were a woman my life would instantly improve by several hundred times, but alas we are both grown ass men.

>>23472793
thats really gay of you to write anon

>>23472793
Sounds like you have a great boyfriend, anon. When are you going to make it official?

>>23472193
more like glowie mind control

get laid or get lost

Been thinking of killing myself again. Loneliness is killing me. I went home to visit my family and just being around other people in a casual way, where I could pop in on my sister or my dad or someone and start talking about how my day went and they would actually listen, felt so warm. I never realized how warm it was until I moved out and started living by myself. Working my shitty McJob I can't quit because I have no experience or certifications in anything else. Alone in towns and cities that other people somehow manage to find each other in. My empty apartment where no human warmth exists to stave off the cold even though the AC is broken in the summertime. I'm about to move overseas in a week or so but rather than being excited I'm filled with dread and anxiety. Whatever could go wrong with the move has gone wrong and I have no one to turn to for comfort or simply for an extra helping hand. At night the anxieties of the present and the regrets of the past swirl together as I lie awake. In the daytime I rarely go out when I'm not at work. I have some irrational anxiety in public and nothing will dislodge it. Seems like I can't live with myself and I can't let anyone into my life either. The things I care about are things almost no one else cares about and though I'm sure it's possible to build a relationship with someone despite such differences the manner in which one would go about such a thing is a mystery to me. Had relationships of a sort in the past, coworkers, peers from work, maybe friends by some definition, but nothing lasts. The music stops. Eventually they realize I'm not who they thought I was. I feel a lot of guilt over these failed relationships, like I was burdening these people and they didn't realize it until the end. The part of me that gets lonely and the part of me that feels this guilt are opposed but remain present in me, ensuring that no matter if I am alone or with others I feel pain.
Frequently I fantasize about running away from people. Can't handle them, can't handle being around them, can't handle being one myself. I could get in my car and drive north and go far into the Canadian wilderness. And there I could starve to death in the cold. Part of me believes I would shed my human form, which I was never meant to have in the first place, and become a bird or a tree or a boulder. Something simpler, more my speed. The empty landscapes and barren wilderness of the far north and south are beautiful to me and I irrationally believe I could find rest there, alone beyond the reach of civilization and society.
I've been attracted to Buddhism and Advaita at times because they promise the annihilation of the self, but they don't mean it in the way I desire it. I am a Christian, but in a warped way. I can't seem to believe that I deserve salvation even though no one really deserves it anyway. Outer darkness seems more fitting a place for me. As long as I'm there alone, anyway.

>>23472796
>>23472797
You joke, but we have such a relationship that even his last girlfriend spent every single day seething and raging to him about how he spends too much time with me and not enough with her. If he were a cute girl my life would enter into a permanent, beautiful spring. Instead he's some gross old guy, just like me.

i want to stroke her vibrissae
i want to stroke her pinnae
i want to stroke her digitigrade legs
i want to stroke her pelage
i want to stroke her metacarpal pads

Found by me. Caught by me. This bird is now caged by my hands, its beaks too weak to chew through my skin to the other side. Really, what lets it escape is the fact it let go of a soft warm stinky shit that leaked through my hands and onto my pants.

>to get to front door, have to walk through crowd of black people laugh-screaming at everything they say / at eachother's laugh-screaming
>get inside
>one apartment window overlooks street
>gaggle of blacks fighting, screaming, chasing eachother for 15 feet and then stopping to fight again (???), shrieking as they do so ("YOU KNOW THAT SHIT IRRITATE! YOU KNOW THAT SHIT IRRITATE!" ??)
>finally stops
>other apartment window overlooks alley
>two black men (?): "FUCK out my way fucking BITCH" etc.
>from apartment hallway: screaming, shrieking black mammies having some kind of party 10 apartments down
>the 15 minute run and shriek group is starting again as i type this
>they're arguing about parking?
This was an upper middle class neighborhood 5 years ago

>>23472870
Ask him to play match-maker on your behalf, perhaps he has a sister or cousin you'd jive with

>>23472866
Why not just move back in with your family? Help out where you can and explain why you need it.
>inb4 muh ego

>>23472907
I'm sure they would support me if I did that but I'm afraid that if I move in I'll never be able to find a solution to my problems. It would be too easy to just live in my little bubble in my old bedroom and forget the outside world exists. I think one day that would come back to bite me.
And I would feel pretty shitty as a son and brother if I moved back in because I couldn't make it in the real world, I guess.

>>23471122
>smug response
It would be nice if some guy just walked up on stage and slapped her in the face with his weiner

I want to read a book

>>23472967
I have had literally six of them open in my browser this whole week and have read maybe five paragraphs off them.

All the foods I like could be described as "it's just a lot of shit thrown in together"

>>23472989
fried rice goes hard

I used to think that celebrities were just soulless, emotionless, husks until I saw a video of Billy Bob Thornton talking about the loss of his brother and how it affected him and now I think some of them can genuinely feel emotions.

How much longer will I live like this? I am starting to get sick of it all. Even I have higher, greater ambitions. If I wish to reach them then I must first shed this ridiculous skin of mine.

>>23473005
The rest of your life, bud, and you can control how long that lasts.

All of your existential problems can be solved by sucking my average dick and being the little spoon. You know this to be true. Your willingness to complain about your lives only shows your effeminiate character.

>>23471459
Gay, kill yourself, genuinely.

Im asking Lexi out tomorrow. I don’t even think she’ll say yes, to be honest. But I must do this. The feeling will not go away, and I don’t think I can live with the regret of never having tried. Wish me luck, friends.

i told you YEARS ago how i keep seeing KIDS on the fucking TRAM show eachother basedjaks and laugh
fucknig insane world i hate it alll

>>23473070
Very good luck anon, I hope it goes well.

>>23473081
I was playing soccer with teenagers today and rhey kept calling themselves sigmas.

I feel all the ridiculous breakup cliches, but I'm mentally unwell and worry that a lot of them might end up being true.

I might become a bull

>>23473070
>>23473081
I hate that I recognize both of you.

>>23473094
I've sorta done this a little, it can be a strange and not altogether pleasant feeling, depending on how things go and are set up.

>>23473093
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL I KNOW

>>23473101
Not a bad song honestly, despite being horribly overplayed.

I've been waiting the last 3 years for that girl to turn 18. She's 18 now. Talked to her today. It was great.

I kinda wanna disappear and tell everybody who asks my name in my new location that people call me "Doc", I won't ever tell them my real name, I'll just have everyone refer to me as "Doc"

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=MTIzsTv1ENY&si=omApqpCDIPQzqmtP

Thoughts?

>>23473097
Be pleasantly surprised that you failed in recognizing one out of two.

I think when I inevitably move out of home I'm basically never gonna text my family, I just don't know what I'd message them about.

One of these days I will pick up the arts and blow the clueless retards on Pixiv out of the fucking water. Dumbasses with no hint of taste.

>>23471122
How many anons in wwoym read more than 5 books a year?

How many anons on /lit/ make more than 10 posts a week?

>>23473088
Thank you my friend, and nice dubs!
>>23473097
Meh, as long as I’m with her, being a bit cringe about this in the past will be quite the small price to pay

>>23473118
soulless

>>23473187
>mfw you aren't keeping an eye on your girl

>>23473181
>How many anons in wwoym read more than 5 books a year?
I try, I just have many hobbies. I'm gonna go on a reading binge after I finish what I'm currently doing though.
>How many anons on /lit/ make more than 10 posts a week?
I do not.

>>23473195
What do you think of this? >>23472433

what's a good ass book

>>23473225

>>23473224
actually listened to these guys before, the song @ 2min anyway
(soul)

I rather dislike engineers; especially so since I am studying to be one myself. A race of artless, dull, and materialistic people with no proclivities towards any of the finer, more intellectual pursuits in life. This is neglecting to mention the fact that they are hopelessly lost in any social situation all the while having a massive ego, and the coup-de-grace of the matter is that hygiene is a mere suggestion to these people. You truly wonder how such a literary mind such as Dostoyevsky crawled out of the fetid pit known as Engineering School.

And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?

>>23473254
You're in the running to win the "the gayest thing I've read all day" award.

it's over, like, for real this time. i caved. i surrendered. call me french now, because i admit defeat. yeah, i just bought it off amazon now out of pure convenience instead of trying to go the long way around, i'm not even ashamed to say it anymore. jeff bezos won.

$400, gone, just like that now. all because someone brought a switch to the office and we had a little game night apparently you know, we played smash brothers. i played smash brothers once, on a much older console, i kinda remembered how it worked. oh yeah, sure, i can participate. i get absolutely btfo. no, no, this won't do! and then there's going to be more office parties like this? no, no, i gotta get my game up. i gotta get good, i gotta practice.

so i thought, hey, i have a pretty strong computer, i can emulate a switch, find a copy of smash brothers, and just practice with the controller i use for pc games sometimes. NOPE. turns out nintendo cracked down on yuzu, the switch emulator i was already familiar with and i know runs on my machine (and don't give me the ryujinx bull crap). shoot what do i do

spent time hunting for yuzu.exe. well turns out i had an older copy of yuzu in a diff computer, sweet, i can just use that. okay, progress. now to find the switch game file for smash brothers. uh oh, turns out the crackdown affected rom sites, none had a copy. okay, time for torrents. fitgirl.

ah, >fitgirl. i've heard things about >fitgirl repacks before, but never used one before. okay, this will be the right. spent time waiting for the torrent, spent time launching it. huh okay, fitgirl repacks have yuzu baked in. kinda cool, okay, but i didn't need to hunt for my earlier yuzu. waiting a while for it to load... and it turns out it loads openGL by default instead of vulcan which loads instantly. ugh.

reloaded. game is... functional? let's do a test battle. LAGGY FPS. literally unplayable. cannot practice with this. OH and i STILL have to unlock the main character i have to practice? good lord. i'm so done. c'est fini. a-m-a-z-o-n dot com, overnight mail -nintendo switch oled smash brothers pack-. sigh, whatever man. you win today, jeff bezos. but i will win the office soon enough when i come back and start smashin instead of getting smashed. i hate video games so much

>>23473254
hey i went to mass today too. based

I'm going to develop terminal oneitis.

So many thoughts rushing through my head, all the time, bouncing off my skull, no one to talk to, no one to tell, so many desires, so many wants, so many of them I can't have, fuck...

>>23473302
What is she like?

>>23473274
Why would I win that award? Because your post is the gayest thing I've read?

>>23473306
She's pretty and smart and whatnot but the thing that feels really irreplaceable is how sweet she is. This probably isn't true I guess, but boy, it's going to be a problem believing that.

>>23473311
Was the oneitis right from the start or something put it into overdrive?

>>23473305
How are they bouncing?

>>23473308
This isn't about what you've read, this is about what I've read, come up with your own award.

>>23473315
She broke up with me today. I was posting about it at the end of the last thread but didn't want to directly repost stuff.

>>23473317
Oh sorry I thought you were implying that your post was gay.

>>23473318
Though honestly it was also right from the start.

>>23473319
That's OK, we all make mistakes, have a good day.

>>23473322
See you later.

Life is boring might triple major in economics, political science and philosophy and reign the world

>>23473352
>political science

>>23473352
Replace the first 2 with reading fairy tales.

>>23473352
major in something that will land you an actual job, and then learn the fun stuff on the company dime

>>23473360
He said that when he was 7??

Doctor said I'm missing a "baculum"

>>23473373
He was very smart

>>23473352
Alright, this wins the award, holy shit. Imagine paying a crazy amount of money and spending years of your life to sit in front of a motherfucker while he goes "So this guy said that god is dead, and this chick believed hedonism was the proper way" I really hope you mentally break one day and kill yourself, like, I actually want you to do it.

There is no good pornography. How do gooners goon? There is nothing to goon to.

>>23471122
Kill all women

Sparks best band

>>23473399
Total (you) death.

Gonna go watch The Fisher King, then I'm gonna sweep and mop, then I might kill myself, who knows?

>>23473405
That's my puppy's name :)

>>23473392
>There is no good pornography. How do gooners goon? There is nothing to goon to.

real gooners goon from imagination alone, where possibilities are infinite. imagine being spoonfed goon when you can generate endless variety with no ads in ultra HD quality anywhere and any time, even and especially while responding to other people on 4chan

>>23473418
gooners goon out their souls

while i understand that it is biological necessity, i remain utterly disgusted at the generally lustful and materialistic movies of the vast majority of the human race at any given time. not to say i am above or don't participate in these things myself, but when i catch myself, i try to stop myself, and keep in mind that there are higher things to pursue. and it is precisely from that sentiment that i now understand, that those with a heart for things above are truly closer to the divine not from being superior, but because they simply choose not to keep their eyes fixed below in a world of filth and dirt and -- nonetheless careful not to watch their step -- gaze upwards to the stars

>>23473425
Did anyone else have to have an epiphany that states addictive pleasure detracts from the divine or is this guy mental because I learned that when I was 4

can't fap with small cocks

I adore my wife but she has always had a terrible sex drive and I myself have always been a horndog. Thinking of getting a young sugar baby, no emotions involved just purely transactional.

>>23471122
I never feel like myself. I always have a sense that my own words are contrived. I am saying this or that to produce a certain kind of reaction. It never comes naturally from within myself.
Others drift through life so easily, every word carries this sense of easy natural confidence: I belong here, I have a right to exist, and my words are fact.
I wish I knew what that's like. Everywhere I feel ridiculous and out of place. Everywhere and everyone seems to be always signaling to me the opposite: "you don't belong here, you look ridiculous, we can tell you don't belong we can tell you are not one of us and you will never be". What hurts me more is the assumption that I am too stupid to pick up these small smirking glances. Every glance hits me like a bullet as I register each and every glance instantly. How does an average person walk through a grocery store and tune out the fact that hundreds of eyeballs are staring you down?
In prolonged isolation my social retardation has accelerated. Automatic routines take over. Like a rat just going in a circle in its cage from bed to wheel to bottle back and forth. I forget myself.

>>23473484
Would you wife be ok with this, or would you have to go behind her back?

>>23473492
It would 100% have to be behind her back

>>23473497
She'll just blackmail you.

>>23473463
I do just fine.

>>23473498
Hopefully, she blackmails him.

I'm talking to a Japanese chick and she just gave me the perfect layup for a cheeky bit of sarcasm but Japanese people notoriously don't get sarcasm, feelsbadman, wasted potential.

Reincarnation, with cycles going in to hell-worlds and heavens but with the heaven-world not being the goal, does not make sense. Well, to be honest, I am operating on an assumption that existence is meaningful, which a karmatic order seems to imply to me. That might be some kind of an anthropomorphism of the Absolute, but the thing is the Absolute cause me to be this way, to be something that thinks in this manner. Nothing which is not absolute caused this all to be, so whatever is causing it to be what it is is absolute, since it exists at all. This could be where buddhists take a different kind of turn, and refuse this step of logic, while they do recognize an order of things which is immutable. I am operating on the assumption that reality is what it is for a reason, so that from a buddhist point of view, the goal of existence would be the end of suffering. A buddhist should, I think, agree with the logic of this, seeing as how from their perspective that is effectively the only thing there is to do: to try to make suffering cease. That is the universal of universals, if you will, the only possible real aim. This fits with abrahamic religion, where peace is knowing God, the Absolute, without which nothing can be achieved. What I came to say was this: it seems to me that if reality is meaningful, which it seems to be since there is something particularly meaningful to do with it (try to make suffering end), and if reality is what it is by design (here the buddhists might reject this language, but they accept all the effects of this claimed Cause) then cyclical rebirths *where you don't remember what happened in previous lives* seems pointless. The purpose of suffering is to know God. So what would be the purpose of spending 10.000 years in a hell-world only to be reborn a human again and remember nothing? It doesn't make any sense. So my conclusion is, at this time (and my conclusions have a way of changing) that the karmic order is linear, not circular. This is your one chance to be human. My argument is that there hasn't been any learning carried down from previous existences except possibly the pre-knowledge of Gods Oneness, the otherness and comfort of that which imposes the order. Said the Buddha:

“There is, monks, an unborn, unbecome, unmade, unconditioned. If, monks there were not that unborn, unbecome, unmade, unconditioned, you could not know an escape here from the born, become, made, and conditioned. But because there is an unborn, unbecome, unmade, unconditioned, therefore you do know an escape from the born, become, made, and conditioned.”

Each one is a hostage to one's deeds,
save the People of the Right Hand
who shall be in the Gardens, and shall ask
about the guilty ones:
“What drove you to Hell?”

They will answer: “We were not among those who observed Prayer,
and we did not feed the poor,
and we indulged in vain talk with those who indulged in vain talk,
and we gave the lie to the Day of Judgement
until the inevitable event overtook us.”

>>23473731
It also strikes me as odd: if it is were possible to know your previous lives through unraveling the karmic tangle, which I think is an idea I've encountered, one rather arrives at the question of whether or not that tangle has a beginning.

Went to a church service for the first time in yeaaaars because I want to get married in it.
It surprisingly didn't suck, was kind of interesting.

As society streamlines itself so you never have to interact with another person to get all your goods, services, or even when you spend your leisure time, it is absurd the death grip they are keeping on offices and workspaces.
Work is often the only time a person is ever forced to acknowledge or converse with another person IRL.
Without a social fabric to participate in, the decrease in marriages and starting families, work becomes a hard sell for anything other than raw survival.
Even leisure seems to be eroding, cinema is dead, games are beginning to slump, literature is largely as facade for what could only be termed the Tree-to-Landfill pipeline.

I think we are ripe for a underground Rave culture renaissance. Provided you could even get people out of their houses and not get shutdown immediately. Just some raw chemical fueled group catharsis set to cheaply produced beats without the pretence of meaning anything beyond the dawn. I think that is all we could probably manage right now.

Although, to be honest, predicting any kind of cultural shift that involves IRL participation feels immensely naive at this point. More like wishful thinking that something could solidify amongst all the vapor.

It's kind of funny that the greatest contribution of protestantism to world history is the secularization of the societies which adopted it - the end station of the course of its development proved to be its self-annihilation.

>>23474044
>cinema is dead
Post your 5 favorite movies

>>23474058
lame analysis. the greatest contribution to secularism came from catholic france. this board is crap.

>>23474076
That's probably why most philosophes were huge angloboos, right.

>>23474076
>crap.
Please don't say that you're a grown man and you're still using this word. Do you hate being taken seriously?

>>23474070
All five Bayformers movies.

But you miss my point. I wasn't speaking to a decline in quality as a decline in cinema as such, a mix of general industry downturn, theaters closing down in mass, the increase of people who simply can not sit still and pay attention for 90 minutes to a movie but can scroll tiktok for 10 hours a day.
Cinema is dead as cultural touchstone, and is rapidly losing relevance as a shared experience instead becoming a solitary affair.

>>23473181
I read 20+

I'm normally a very anxious person, even the most menial of task, if it requires me to leave the house, will cause the smallest bit of anxiety in me, but I'm starting something kinda big tomorrow (for me at least) and I'm really not feeling anxious at all. Sure, I'm getting a few little spikes here and there, but mostly I'm chill for some reason. I've been trying to use logic to kill my anxiety for a little bit, whenever I start to feel anxious about something, I run down the tree of "what's the worst that could happen?" in my head and that usually really helps because to be honest, nothing that bad can come from the shit that I do.

>>23474106
>Cinema is dead as cultural touchstone, and is rapidly losing relevance as a shared experience
Are you sure you didn't just stop buying tickets? If you're somewhere where the one cinema closed down, you're going to need more than personal experience to convince us of a trend.
>people who simply can not sit still and pay attention for 90 minutes to a movie but can scroll tiktok for 10 hours a day
This is real though. It amazes me how often people decide to pay for cinema tickets and then get their phone out. You could have paid less to watch it on your phone if you're going to look at your phone anyway.

>>23473731
>Wanting the universe to be meaningful in a way you're comfortable with and understand
That's a recipe for disappointment

>>23471122
>Go with fiance to his aunties birthday
>They're all singing karaoke.
>He gets thrown to sing Taylor Swift songs because it's a running joke he likes her music but denies it
>Certain songs like cruel summer (during the bridge part about coming home drunk, and sneaking into backyards) comes on and he and a family friend of his keeps low-key looking at each other and low key smiling during that part and throughout the song but I notice
>Same thing happens with fortnight where although he was jokingly singing it to me for the audience it felt like he was genuinely reminiscing about the lyrics or singing it to indirectly to her.
>Although he didn't sing greese summer nights and we were all just joining in the ad-libs, I felt I caught them looking at each other smiling through out

They had a summer fling at some point of their life didn't they or am I just imagining things? I always sensed there was tension between them.

Should I confront him about it or even try to fish something out of his sister? I don't even know what I'm supposed to get out of doing so or why it's bothering me

>>23474170
I believe it is around 3000 that shut down permanently in America since 2019.

>>23474193
>America
Oh yeah I don't care, there's only so many shootings any venue that needs to resize its seats every five years can survive

red hot wiffile-ball
cutting a diagonal parabola
through the air
into the boys teeth.

red hot
cannonball
cutting a shallow parabola
into the columns
and skipping among the men

red hot earth
slicing its immortal parabola
around the raging
and dying
sun.

>>23474205
> wiffile-ball
How do you get this one wrong but columns and parabola were fine?

Life can be a big nigger sometimes, you know

>>23474213
fuck man idk it was an impulse and it didnt feel right. fuck

red hot wiffle ball
cutting a diagonal parabola
through the air
into the boys teeth.

red hot
cannonball
cutting a shallow parabola
into the columns
and skipping among the men

red hot earth
slicing its immortal parabola
around the raging
and dying
sun.

red hot wiffle ball
cutting a diagonal parabola
through the air
into the boy’s teeth.

red hot
cannonball
cutting a shallow parabola
into the columns
and skipping among the men.

red hot earth
slicing its immortal parabola
around the raging
and dying
sun.

I was just walking through the town's festival when I saw a street vendor selling many hardcover books; one of which caught my eye was 'Faust' by Goethe, translated into language. Should I get it?

>>23474238
>>23474256
I like it btw but I like any excuse to say parabola

>>23471122
What is an appropriate age gap for relationships? Or more specifically me a 34 year old guy?

Is it still half your age +7 or have times changed?

Just asking cos a 22 year old coworker is seething about her friends relationships. On 22 year old is dating a guy in his 50s which i understand. But then she was super seething a out her other friend, also 22 dating a 30 year old guy and making it out like she's being manipulated, groomed or whatever

What the heck? I didn't even think much of it originally desu. But make me wonder if this is their mentality, that a 22 year old cant make a sound decision to date a 30 year old guy, then why TF are women like that allowed to vote or have other decision making roles or positions of power at their jobs?

>>23474262
Language ruins Goethe, just intuit his works instead.

>>23474273
She's jealous. Just ask her out.

>>23474272
ty anon. I like parabolas too. been thinking about them for a few days, not sure why... something pleasant about them. i was trying to sleep but kept thinking about cannons and baseball and orbits.

>>23474262
Into MY language. Sorry for the confusion.
>>23474277
Lmao.

>>23474277
checked and based

>>23474262
I wish I still lived in a small town that held festivals.

>>23471383
One trick is to think of your future self as a person that exists and has loved ones also, some of which you haven't met yet. If you kill yourself now you will be denying those people the joy of getting to love you, and yourself the joy of getting to love them. If you are unhappy with your current situation you should change it, but not in a way that deletes your potential to bring joy into the world (and consequently into yourself). Another trick is to realize that you are at a point where you are ready to head into the ultimate unknown, death, so why wouldn't you try something less radical, like signing up for school, complete 180ing your career path, or attempting primitive living? There are a million different ways you can live your life and all of them have more reliable information about their consequences than any account about what being dead is like, making them all way easier transitions than suicide, not to mention possibly more rewarding and, like I said before, they don't delete your potential.

>>23474058
Every European catholic country is secular as well. Just look at Ireland. They all get baptized and have confirmation, their little icons are everywhere, but nobody actually believes it.

Any of you guys a bit older and living in a college town? It’s getting really lonely and depressing here…

>>23474360
ive been lonely and depressed in every town I've liven in bucko

>>23474360
I'm so tired of hearing you fags complaining about living in a college town. Just fuckin move if you don't like it

>>23474347
Catholics notoriously don't even go to church much either.
Protestants are much more motivated to go to church

>>23474382
nooooooooo you have to hear about how living in a college town sucks and is lonely for the 30th time!

>>23474273
Stop asking society permission to live your life. The only time age should be a question when it comes to relationships is when its dubious if they have the mental faculties to give informed consent. Anything else is people trying to control you.

Getting free lunch tomorrow, pretty hype.

>>23474273
>Is it still half your age +7 or have times changed?
It's a good starting point but not the ironclad rule it used to be. If you're in your 30s and dating someone who is still in undergrad, knowing nothing else about the relationship, yeah it comes across as a bit weird. Different "life stages" and all that. If it's an older man and a younger woman, I have a hard time not seeing it as a case of arrested development. But also you should do what you want. This idea that an "age gap" relationship is inherently exploitative is fuckin stupid.

>>23474347
Ireland doesn't really count, they still believe in fairies. The communion and confirmation is for the money, but the baptism thing was because you need it to get into a Catholic school which is basically all of them.

>>23474404
Okay, so Spain, Portugal, Italy, Hungary, Austria, Poland... which Catholic country isn't secular now?

Anytime I get adds or see someone online mentioning and using the chat bot gf/bf nonsense I mentally gag in my mind, Im immensly repulsed by it. I'm repulsed because I will never relate to it no matter how much I try. Being this desperate that one would chose to engange in a parasocial relationship with a bot that is spitting almagation of diffreant responses found all across the internet than chose to be alone.
I know what's it like, I haven't got a proper relationship with anyone for decades now; not even parents; and I still would chose to die alone than to die talking to a lie that those bots are.

>>23473360
This but unironically and don't go to college. Just read books from college curriculums, then produce something worthy of an honorary phd with your incredible ubermensch talent. No sense in giving money to those higher education swine.

>>23474382
I work here. I can’t just move. It doesn’t work like that. Thanks for revealing that there are more of us though.

Why are you haunting the /wwoym/ thread on the lookout for people you don’t like by the way? Don’t you think that’s a little pathetic?

0 days of not thinking about the Germanic mensch

>>23474432
Lmao it's you again. Every time I call you out for posting this shit all the time you respond exactly the same way. Just fuck off already.

>>23474414
It's hard to be secular in some of those just from a cultural perspective. There's things like celebrating saint's days instead of birthdays or what days you expect sweets or should expect nobody to sell you meat in some of those, but Catholicism takes on local flavours anyways. The Catholic tradition which is important to not get seen as a communist hardliner in Poland isn't necessarily going to exist in Portugal

>>23474432
Time to start looking for another job buddy

>>23474452
>just from a cultural perspective
If it's merely tradition then it's not sincerely religious or spiritual. It's like saying America is the most religious country on earth because of how important Christmas is to American culture.

>>23474459
>how important Christmas is to American culture.
It wasn't because Catholics were the ones who celebrated Christmas. Catholics had to psyop you into giving people the day off.

>>23474472
Okay. I appreciate the day off thanks. As Protestant as I am I inherited the Catholic work ethic. But my point stands. Having traditional holidays doesn't make your country any less secular.

>>23471122
when i know a girl is into me, it is so over for her. i have successfully flirted with and sexed (at least bj) with every single girl that has has even an inkling of interest/attraction towards me
regardless, it is a meaningless act as I did not love enjoy of these women and simply played the game because i knew I would win

going to south korea soon
hopefully will have fun

>>23471487
What does paping involve?

Sitting around with a native friend of mine who's incredibly simple it seems. He's a zommer who apparently needs 24/7 phone attention and freaks out if he doesn't have his phone working and tiktok not going.

>>23474484
>I inherited the Catholic work ethic.
I don't want to pressure you into a lot of effort, but have you looked into becoming Montenegrin?

>>23474558
What a hell his mind must be.

>>23474580
The last time he said his phone was being buggy with everything so he must get a new phone for $200 to combat it. It's a weird world the zoommer lives in.

Got my gf pregnant friends...how the fuck am i supposed to do this, i have a shitty flat, no money saved and she's still married.
Im terrified and happy at the same time.

>>23474617
Dawg come on. Really awful planning on your part

>>23474617
Should've taken the proper precautions, suck shit, retard.

>>23474314
Why did you left in the first place? Not enough working opportunities?
>>23474262
But seriously though, should I? Is it a good book?

>>23474617
You will do it brother. I'm happy for you. Get your shit together in 8 months. Biggest tip, don't fear debt.

Why do so many girls call me "boy", even though they're usually younger than me?

>>23474633
Fuck it, I bought it anyways.
It's not in a good condition, but for 3€ I thought it was a decent purchase.

>>23474657
Do you have a youthful face?

>>23474671
People have said I look 21, despite being 27 years old.

>>23474617
>and she's still married.
welp, you're fucked

Thinking the roommate is dumb and just sees that I'm better at some vidya games so he wants me to unlock new levels or characters. It's not my fault he sucks incredibly bad at SSBU and doesn't want to put the effort into playing on his own to make good combos ect.

>>23471274
hey that's me

Stumbled across a 2017 Nostalgia edit on YouTube.I guess it had to happen but so soon?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/B-amH32rMGk

>>23474633
>Why did you left in the first place? Not enough working opportunities?
Got moved to the city halfway through high school, our lease was up and there was nowhere left to rent, even these days the town only has like 3 rentals, it's fucked.

>>23474447
> posts something a few times over the course of months in the write what’s on your mind thread because it’s on your mind
> some freak incel NEET monitors the thread 24/7 like a jannie constantly on the lookout seethes about it
I think it’s pretty obvious you are the one that needs to fuck off and touch grass. You sound like a freak.

>>23474454
Jobs in my line of work are few and far between. People can easily spend a decade looking for a new job.

>>23474668
>Translating the nerval translation
Genius

>>23474744
Do you like your line of work?

>>23474751
I do. I like my line of work and I like the place where I work. I just don’t like the town it’s in.

>>23474314
Now that you mention it. It does feel like small towns had more vibrant public life with festivals and public gathering places when I was a kid growing up in the 90s but none of these places seem to anymore. I spent a year living with my mom in the small town I grew up in and none of that stuff happens.

>>23474760
Thats a shame man. I hope life gets better for you.

>>23474769
My life is very good actually. It’s just hard to live without friends or a girlfriend and no real possibility of having any, ya know? You can have a great job, a ton of money and freedom, loving parents, great health everything you want on paper but if you can’t really sure that with someone you start to wonder what the point is. I’m sure people here can sympathize with that. Literature nerds are often lonely.

>>23474779
>great job, a ton of money and freedom, loving parents, great health everything you want on
>I’m sure people here can sympathize with that.
haha, yeah

>>23474779
funny, I was just thinking something similiar to that. But I did not have neither good life nor anyone I trust. My life has been empty and still is. But, my biggest accomplishment was that I can safely say that I can die with no regrets and bitterless despite it all. I no longer have depression (or at least no longer paralyzed by it) and while I do not wish to die anymore I do not fear death anymore.
Pleothra of questions that I wish to know the anwser for, one which is a word or words to describe this 'paradoxial hope' I have.

>>23474802
I’m sure they can sympathize with being lonely. When you’re lonely, it doesn’t really matter if you have a good life or not imo. Maybe people who don’t have good lives disagree, but at the end of the day it’s what we do and who we do it with that matters. If you don’t have people, nobody really cares what you did or what you had when you die.

Been feeling my interests changed for 4chan boards since I mainly go for /t/, /TV/, /co/, and /lit/.

>>23474806
I think being able to die with no regrets is an enormous accomplishment, maybe the biggest of all.

>>23472704
>I am not a body.
You are a program that runs on the computer that is your mind. Unfortunately this means that your fates are intertwined. Take care of your body and your body will take care of you. Love your body an it will love you back. It's time to take the /fit/ pill anon. Be the best you can be.

>>23474779
There is really nobody at all for you to befriend in this "college town?" I find that very hard to believe, actually

>>23474812
maybe. But I do wish my life was less empty. If I were to die today I wouldn't have many regrets yes, but also not much to be grateful for too, it would be as close to being empty as it gets and while I do find the eternal void quite peaceful I do wish to decorate it further with my own eclectic palette of experiences. I'm still young thankfully but I have to say, the devils always in the details and its more and more apparent with every day to me.

there is no You! there is only me

>>23474779
I was kind of the same. I then decided to change it completely and I no longer wonder what the point is. I have a reason to come home and to go to work in the first place.

There's no there there

why must jeet come and ruin it for the rest of us?

>>23474989
reverse colonization

>>23475005
you have to be able to breed with the women for that to work

I'm starting to realize that I only come to this board to occasionally shitpost in /wwyom/ and browse the occasional thread of interest. /Lit/ gave me everything it had to offer; now most of the discussion is full on here.

Sorry for saging the thread but it automatically came in the fields when yesterday someone posted low quality thread somewhere else.

to be really really really good at something, you have to go through hours and weeks and months and years of our torture and pain and anxiety and uncertainty and tremendous suffering
you have to do everything bad once and build your corpus of life experience to make every future event slightly better

Every time someone uses that stupid laughing kitty emoji it's accompanied by the most dogshit braindead comment imaginable.

>>23472866
>The things I care about are things almost no one else cares abou
What are the things you care about?

>>23475029
i think they're doing that well enough

i love of montreal

I love coil

I love Cock

>>23475213
yuck

had the most unreal shit lads
i felt like i was about to die

>>23475217
Filtered

your'e jewish

>>23475228
I had the strangest shit ever today after like 5 days of nothing, came out in one long smooth (not knobbly) snake. it was sick

these fucking pigeons are driving me insane

>>23475228
Monica?
https://x.com/ImMeme0/status/1799668221555179633

>>23475247
these pretzels are making me thirsty

to everyone itt; fuck u

I'm a gay pedo for my 17 yo self

>>23474273
>making it out like she's being manipulated, groomed or whatever
Amazing how women can never take responsibility. It's always someone else.

>>23475235
yeah yeah save it for the 3x3 thread

What are the pros and cons of muttifying with some random negress, Indian or Philipina woman?
For information I am a white American of pure Anglo-Saxon extraction.

I'm pretty certain I hate women so much because I was raised by a single mom fully outside the boundaries of marriage.

>>23475342
>of pure
If you have a pure racial bloodline the #1 thing you can do for your evolutionary success is breed with anyone not of your race, the more disparate the better.

>>23475343
I don't hate women by any means but I find 'liberated' women to be beyond pathetic. They think they are the best when in reality they lack so far behind trad wifes in almost every measure. I don't even mean by the benefits they provide to men, but already in social refinement, quality of personal life, self-respect etc. It's like everything 'liberated' women do and say is but a cope deep down they now how much they are missing out on.

>>23475359
Found the kike
Tell me more about how muttifying with another race improves your breed (given your not a negro in wich case muttification is only beneficial)

>>23475342
Are you contemplating it?
I'm 'lucky' I'm a mutt myself (If I had to guess 70% Euro, 30% Amerindian) so I had an out of marrying a White woman.
A plus is that a non-white woman didn't get put on a pedestal her entire life. A White non-fat woman just has no idea of life regular people. A brown on however can empathize with a man more so. not even because she's less attractive, brown men would crawl over glass to fuck a 4/10 White woman so they notice that.

Add to it they are more willing to accept a patriarchal household and want more children there is a definite plus to be had by going with one.

However I don't think it's a smart thing to do if you're 100% White like you are. You're setting your child up to be mixed race and all the struggles than come with that. If you really want that I guess you could go for a Mestizo. Castizo children have less a chip on their shoulder about it.

>>23475364
Kek Jews have so many genetic defects because of inbreeding, there's whole syndromes that only appear in Jewish populations. Icelanders have apps to check your blood relatedness so you don't fuck too close a cousin, and I doubt you're as white or pure bred as an Icelandic person.

>>23475368
> A White non-fat woman just has no idea of life regular people
Yeah I don't live in a Shitwestern country I moved to Eastern Europe and 90% of women are tradwifes or striving to become tradwives (even the ones at university say they are saving themselves for marriage). Of course it's not Really Really so but within the boundaries of what is realistically achievable it's not like casual sex doesn't exist here. It's actually quite widespread. But yeah I guess you get the point.
So no trad wife points for non-white women.
I guess if I take a Slav wife it would still be muttification but they're white aren't they? I guess it would be cultural muttification but not if I convert to Orthodoxism. There's also small protestant minorities here.
The country is 97% white ethnostate but there's these gypsies. Look and smell like jeets, act and behave like n*s but they are a closed community. Some of them seem to be quite rich as well (I guess through stealing and selling fake jewelry kek). Some of their women are quite hot though. I guess I could join their tribe by marrying a hot black-skinned gypsie. Should I do it? Currently weighing the pros and cons. I always wanted a jeet wife guess that's the closest I could get.

>>23475376
> . Icelanders have apps to check your blood relatedness so you don't fuck too close a cousin, and I doubt you're as white or pure bred as an Icelandic person.
They must have learned that from the Jews or some other ethnicity (Romans, Celts?). Marrying your cousin or sister is very Aryan.

>>23475392
Celts are a Vedic offshoot...

>>23475388
Absolutely fucking do not go with a gypsie.
I have 2 people I know who went with one.
One got babytrapped by a gyppo. She had his kid and now he's paying for her while not even seeing the child.

The other one is even crazier.
Adopted gypsie girl ends up dating her adopted brother. Have a family but it turns out the kid who is now 5 years old is NOT his. She lied and now he divorced her.

I don't know if you're from Europe but do not fuck with gypsies. Why on earth would you take a gypsy over say a mestizo?

>>23475398
Celts are hapa mutts at best, much like their cousins the Finks.

the fallout between me and my younger brother in the last four months has been shocking. we went from best friends to complete strangers in essentially one day. i wonder if we will ever be close ever again.

growing up, i have seen so many families where the siblings aren't on good terms and haven't spoken in years and decades, and i had always wondered why. maybe this is why. maybe i am about to find out.

>>23475408
Well, nice red-pill about the gypsies. I guess everything people say about them is true but worse.
> mestizo
Well that's what I am currently thinking about and I'm American so I guess it wouldn't be a problem from a cultural point of view. Obviously you are biased about it because you are Mestizo/Castizo yourself but are there any downsides to it? Or upsides in that given case? I guess over there they make better tradwives but that's not the case in Eastern Europe most women make good tradwives.

>>23475413
>Celts are hapa mutts
lol, they're recessive genes built on recessive genes

>>23475438
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
I will not elaborate further

>>23475464
ive been there

>>23475466
Celtic culture is based (I mean the ancient one where they lived as farmers in the woods hunting wild boars then ate and drank until their bellies exploded). But yeah. That sort of culture still exists in the South Eastern European countries (everywhere the ancient culture of the Slavs/Celts wasn't destroyed or altered by the Latins or Germanics). It's based but I wouldn't call it the adventurous, war-like spirit of the ancient Aryans.
I'd call it conscious stupidity in boundaries.

>>23474844
Of course there have to be a few people but not many relative to the population. It’s sort of like finding a needle in a haystack. We don’t have a graduate school so there aren’t even graduate students. Maybe you’re right though. Maybe I just need to put in more effort to find people. I think part of my problem is that I have a high standard for friends that is unrealistic. This might sound hubristic but I feel like I’m pretty successful and a lot of the people I meet are kind of struggling, which is okay, but it makes it hard to connect and have fun. I did meet a guy that was my age and going back to college after like a decade just kind of NEETing and being a loser, and I respected him for that, but it was a weird dynamic because he was my age but he was still pretty immature. He had no money so we couldn’t do a lot unless I paid for him and talking to him felt like talking to a 20 year old. So it was tough. He was a good guy, but it wasn’t easy to be friends.

>>23474850
I don’t understand how you can have an empty life and also no regrets. If you have no regrets, you’ve presumably done a lot with your life.


>>23474926
What did you change exactly?

>>23475342
> pros
None really, maybe your kids won’t get brainwashed by lefties if you raise them in their home country but then again they probably won’t get brainwashed here
> cons
Your kids are confused and physically and intellectually lesser than yourself and your wife uses you for citizenship and marriage only to split and fuck you over, which honestly there’s a good chance of no matter who you marry

Idk. I’m not against interracial marriage, but it’s weird to plan out it like this. You have to have the right person regardless of race. If you go for an Indian because she’s an Indian that can be pretty bad.

In my opinion, the only winning strategy is to try to find the best genetics and temperament for motherhood so you get healthy and capable kids. That’s it. Everything else is likely to end in disaster no matter who you marry.

>>23475343
I was raised by a single mom and I don’t hate women. I absolutely despise what passes for normal behavior among many modern women, but I don’t hate women. Don’t let society gas light you into thinking you hate women just because you think women shouldn’t sleep around and cover themselves in tattoos or lead countries.

SWEATING, FEELING LIKE FAINTING AS IF THE GROUND WANTS TO SUCK MY BODY, PUKE LIKE SENSATION FORMING AT TOP OF MY MOUTH, NOT VERY CONCRET TOUGHT BUT EXTREMELY AWARE

>>23475425
Lose the idea of a tradwife, doesn't exist.
What you need is a woman who is not deluded by an easy upbringing and one that doesn't profit immensely by divorcing you.

>>23475535
> women who care about the house and their children don't exist
Whatever you say, amerimutt

>>23475549
That's not a tradwife. Any non insane woman(90%+) will care about her children and the house.

Mulattas are the hottest women on the planet

>>23475551
There's degrees to it and they determine the inherent social value of a woman. Very high value women don't work around the house though, they command serf woman to do said tasks but yeah generally speaking.

I recently learned about palate widening via MSE and I think I really need to have that done, but I’m having a hard time finding an orthodontist that will consider it.

>>23473024
I'm not gay.

Corpo sent me and a work collegue to a truck trip tomorrow.

I'M MAKING THE BROWN RICE SPAGHETTI A FEW DAYS LATE BUT IT'S COOKING

WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES I'M JUST GONNA PUT OLIVE OIL ON IT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE

>>23475613
> spaghetti
> olive oil
> salt
Nutrients: 100%
Xenoestrogens: 0%
Kikes: owned

Lextreme droite gagne

>>23471122
I don't know if I'll ever find love again. That kind of fiery thing you have as teenagers. My last relationship (a marriage) was wasted on a woman that was, at her core, extremely manipulative and self-serving. I was walking on eggshells all the time and unfortunately internalized a lot of her warped views. I'm still deprogramming that stuff out of my mind - a lot of it being these insane thoughts about patriarchy, misogyny, etc. that bubble up from modern far left circles. She was entrenched in it, and therefore so was I.

But now on the dating scene women are really materialistic. I try to downplay or hide my wealth because I want a genuine connection but most women are looking for security before love. And I can't shake the feeling it'll just lead to me being used again.

Its a very isolating feeling.

>>23473492
Well you probably shouldn't then, though I'm not sure what alternative I'd offer you exactly.

>>23475613
VERDICT: The cum-sludge is back. I had to drain it. The noodles went from being too al dente to being too soft. But I have low standards so this is still good to me.

>>23475623
Is this a sarcastic inversion? am I being owned by the kikes right now?

>>23475659
I'm at an age, and place with my career/wealth, that guarantees the only women interested in me will be gold diggers. I stopped thinking love was a thing a few years back. I also feel insulted by the presumptuousness of vapid 33 year old women thinking they deserve anything and wanting to remain "free spirits." They should be grateful anyone is willing to bail their old ugly asses out.

>>23475662
What makes you think that? In eating plain food without corposlop additives you own the kikes, not less.

>>23475671
I'm 34 and I agree about the ~30s women comment. I don't really like dating younger though, with the exception of one woman that was 25 I can't relate to zoomers.

>>23475659
I feel you. Not the same situation, but similarly struggling with the idea of finding someone again. It's been a rough time romantically in here lately.

>>23475680
"Brown rice spaghetti" sounds like corposlop to me, man

>>23475500
>We don’t have a graduate school so there aren’t even graduate students
How about professors?

The female equivalent of men being obsessed with Roman history is women being really into 1700s-1800s English high society.

>>23474744
Wow you're really upset that someone noticed you posting something on a public forum. No wonder you're alone with how neurotic you are.

>>23474175
It's a reasonable conclusion.
The only question that seems a problem is: why is everything in this reality structured the way it is? Theists would say it implies Intention. Buddhists, it seems to me anyway, would say nothing on the matter, except they would recognize that it is a fact. What conclusion should be drawn from reality being structured? And what is nibbana? I think the goal of other major religions (like Islam, Hinduism, Taoism) is to be at peace with the way things are, with the order of things. I think that is what taoist "non-being" means. There's no longer any "you" to conflict with the way things are. I think this is the basis for what in sufism is called "baqaa", which means "lasting". First there is opening, which is a moment of enlightenment; then there is, God willing, lasting, remaining with God. A person who remains with God lives a saintly life. A person experiencing an opening probably just looks like they're gone in a dream for a moment. It is my *guess* nibbana and baqaa are the same. It has to do with being free of any attachment whatsoever.

It's strange thinking about a loving God contrasted with an impersonal karma, when what is loving about God has everything to do with what karma is. The idea is framed so differently, in theistic religion as an act of love and in buddhism as a hard fact.

>>23475740
>What conclusion should be drawn from reality being structured?
I don't necessarily mean "does it imply a Creator", I also just mean "how should I relate to it once I believe in it"

The big problem is: why did the indians believe in reincarnation? It becomes an even bigger problem if you consider that before buddhism, they were theists. What could God possibly mean by sending you to hell for 10k years only to make you forget about it?

>>23475740
>It's strange thinking about a loving God contrasted with an impersonal karma, when what is loving about God has everything to do with what karma is. The idea is framed so differently, in theistic religion as an act of love and in buddhism as a hard fact.
One the one hand it's like "well you did the thing so now you're gonna suffer, and once you get out of suffering it's like getting out of prison: you're just dumped on a sidewalk somewhere with nothing" vs "The All Loving God has realized that the best way for you to learn and grow as a person is to go through these struggles. He will always be there, all of this is His affection for you."

>>23475761
Logically, the only divider between the two seems to be: does reality being what it is imply a creator? If the question can/should be approached through human logic, I would say undoubtedly the answer is "yes".

Carlos Marxo is the only Jewfaggot I have read and who I find decently based

I think there’s three things you should do while you’re a young man and those are party and chase girls. I partied pretty hard until I was about 26 or so but I didn’t really go on any adventures and I regret that.

>>23475765
The problem with this being that if you have confidence in Buddha, he claimed to have seen his prior lives. Based on his understanding of the afterlife, this reality is strangely horrible, which seems to have been his take.

I want both traditions to be true, but the difference in how they understand the afterlife probably makes that impossible. It is difficult for me to know what to do with that.

Noooooooooooo she deleted her Instagram

>>23475779
Did you save the feet pics? DID YOU SAVE THE FEET PICS

>>23475765
If you allow yourself to cut out all logic then that's dadaism (?) that's what the zen-guys are doing, isn't it

>>23475801
There is the further question of: a buddhist might say that everything here is what it is because of karma. For karma and "God" to be meaningfully different, karma has to be defined, and if it were defined it would be a part of reality and not outside it. In a lot of ways the only real difference between theism and buddhism is that theists supplicate to God. I think it would be hard to argue against supplicating to the Absolute. Another signicifant difference is that theism can lead people to believe that they are "Gods chosen", and then they can do all kinds of weird stuff. That's an issue.

>>23475810
>a part of reality and not outside it
this means that it can not function as a Cause, since it is itself subject to terms

>>23475810
Another possible difference is that theists can claim divine inspiration. I don't really understand where Buddha explains his teachings to be from. Divine inspiration makes a lot of sense if you consider that God alone is "above" it all, so only God could give you the clean truth about things. Only God would know, and only God could express it with perfection.

I don't know what theories there are of the conditions for the arising of the teaching of the buddha in buddhism. Conspicuous as it is, it seems they think that if the conditions are just right, they themselves will sprout the truth. "Conspicuous" since the question remains why any of this exists as it presumably is.

>>23475821
But with this comes the big question: how does a theist know that he has received divine inspiration, that he isn't just a madman? Like with the case of "Gods chosen", you get a lot of madmen.

state mandated rape squads will be the future.

>>23475826
Why this is a big question is because the teaching itself is necessarily limited in nature, and God, being "above", doesn't really enter into relationships. God is a fact, the Truth. There will be a before and after receiving the teaching, and the teaching itself will be limited in scope. How does the receiving take place, and how is it affirmed to be from God? By miracles? Personally what I've thought for a long time is that there is no reason not to believe it whatsoever, and as a theist by my logic there should be teachings from God, otherwise the moral test of this life is unfair.

>>23475829
The moral test which is the logical explanation for what it is an Intentional God means by all of this

Still feel very weird. Not that sad, or not as sad as I could be, but profoundly hopeless.

>>23475835
The logical conclusion of thought, in my understanding. The alternative then being dadaism. I think.

>>23475828
More like the fall of rome. A gradual influx of "barbarians" will just change everything. It will be necessary for the reasons I imagine you say what you say, that there aren't enough babies. If you want to know the future of philosophy you should study whatever is going on in Africa, SEA, Latin America and the middle east, where the immigrants will come from. Catholicism and Islam, I guess.

>>23475840
The problem with dadaism is that you can't really argue against it. Buddha would say "AH but have you SEEN the Creator??"

I don't understand on what terms he believed the ground underneath his feet to be real.

>>23475845
>you can't really argue against it
it just leaves this evil vortex in the pit of your stomach. To which the buddhists will say "maybe if you were free from illusions maan!" which is almost a bit like gaslighting I feel. The heart surely loves God, takes solace in Him. Is this illusion? Probably the heart will have to decide.

>>23475740
>It's a reasonable conclusion.
Reasonable to whom?

>>23475788
She didn't delete just block me, I don't why well fuck her then

A furious goon session before going to the gym is a bad idea.

>>23475962
>>23475962
>>23475962
New

NEW NEW NEW

>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963

NEW NEW NEW

>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963
>>23475963

>write what's on your mind
Endless aimless bullshit, no reason to exist.
Just intoxication every day, it doesnt matter.
I try to do good, but I am stuck aimlessly trying to find a way out.
I feel like I am in the middle of the ocean swimming one direction (lol) but really I might aswell swim in circles like a shark.
Wish there were sharks in these waters, I tried so hard to stay alive do right by others and find my way.
I am still fucking clueless, 10, 15 years of this shit.
I try to get my Bearing strait, but I can barely read the stars. Mesmerizing as they are; I must be on a different planet.

I found a case of rum floating so I crack it open and drowned myself till I passed out.
I washed ashore on a tiny island, it's alright here, I found people and they are nice. Been in a couple fight since but at least we are on a bender together.
As long as I have my case of rum I have all the friends I need.
Rummy rum rum, all the friends indeed.

>>23475971
>>23475965
two new threads at the exact same time lmaooo