/lit/ - Literature

>>23406390
Trying to turn my life around but failing. Like there's a wall between me and everyone. I feel incredibly restrained and held back in some way I can't fully express . I want to authentically connect to others but I just end up feeling more alien or child like around others. I can't build relationships.theres something fundamentally wrong with me. I don't feel anything but i want to. I feel like a freak
I am going to die alone. I don't care as much about making more money or being successful. I just want to know what it feels like to love and be loved, or even just to feel a basic connection with someone.it always feels artificial to me. I am struggling to see the point of continuing. I feel as though I have no value as a person.
I'm taking classes at a community college but i barely have the energy to go to class. It's like the one thing I do in a day. Otherwise I just sit all day browsing 4chan or staring blankly at a wall.

>>23406390
I wish I was politically powerful and influential. I am a literal who with no ability to influence world events. I feel like such a cuck.

>>23406424
You're better off staying away from this website then. And get out of your own head. Just think about nothing if you have to or keep busy with something good for you.

>>23406390
Fucking pussy ass niggers all up in my shit

>>23406390
i am part woman now because I spent my formative years (13-17) on tumblr

i am full autist because i have spent every year since (17-29) on 4chan

both decisions are regretted

i spent way too much time of my formative years around women

now i cant accept an apology unless its in a very specific format, very womanlike unfortunately

>>23406438
This site definitely isn't good for me. I can't quit it though because it's really my only social interaction.
It's only part of the problem. Both a cause and a symptom of being socially mal adjusted

>>23406424
Honestly man just fake it til you make it. Stop spending all your time on here or doing nothing, "make a friend" or two at your school. And by that I mean just start hanging around whoever, doing shit with them, regardless of whether it feels "artificial" or not. Eventually you may find that you're having actual fun, and some time after that you might really care about these people. This stuff is always kinda weird and awkward at first.

I'm at a high point in my life right now. I have the whole summer open to research for my thesis and to prepare for my future more broadly. It's only downhill from here.

>>23406390
Think I sprained or broke my foot. I was fine hours after what I believe to be the injury then all of a sudden it’s extremely painful with no relief and I’m hobbled. Don’t really want to go to the ER so I’m hoping some rest fixes it somewhat

>>23406424
This is going to sound sarcastic but I'm being genuine: are you autistic? The reason I ask is because I was diagnosed a few years ago. I'm very good at pretending to be normal, so I made it well into adulthood without anyone noticing. I relate so much to the concept of there being a sort of invisible wall between you and others. I don't know how to connect with people and never have. Before I got my diagnosis, I just assumed that there was something deeply and fundamentally wrong with me as a person.

>>23406446
Bitch I've been on here since I was 14, I'm 32 now. I used to regret it but now I just think it is what it is. I need somewhere to vent my spleen.

>>23406457
You can accept some apologies at least.
I cannot forgive, much to my chagrin. I have written many a friend off because of things others would most likely forgive. I cannot do so, part of my mind thinks I'd be a schmuck if I did it, and would just be a mark to them, ready to be taken advantage of again. I'd forgiven before, but I'd always be vigilant, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that's not an environment a friendship can grow in.
I have mastered the early steps of relationships because of this, I can make friends anywhere, very quickly too, but I lose them just as quick. I'm liked everywhere I go, but feel welcome nowhere.
Well, anyhow, enough about me, what's this specific format you were thinking about?

>>23406390
it's one thing to know your family is full of idiots passively but i hate when a problem needs to be solved and you have to stare it in the face. it's infuriating. i would honestly be embarrassed to have any women i respect meet my family. she'd probably figure out I was only LARPing as a non-idiot.

>>23406469
>It's only downhill from here
You can really never know

I don't mind being neglected and deprived of the essentials of life as long as it's not during my formative years

>>23406475
You spend too much time here and it affects you subconsciously. Any positives that come from this site are outweighed by the negatives. Double if you spend lots of time browsing

>>23406446
Do you like bondage

>>23406462
>by that I mean just start hanging around whoever, doing shit with them,
I don't know how. I never made a friend in all of high school nor in college. I have no childhood friends either.
I'm not exaggerating. You made the false assumption you are talking to a human like yourself.
I'm back in a community college.
There's like two other people in my class and so far I have barely spoken to either. I'm practically mute.
>>23406471
Possibly, though I don't really care about labels. The bottom line is I'm a pretty weird person, whether you call it autism or something else I don't care.
I took one of those tests that measures emotional intelligence, ability to infer emotions based on pictures of faces, and scored high but I guess I could be because in every other way im a social failure.

>or don’t
>it doesn’t matter

I don’t understand it

>tfw 2 depressed 2 fuck

This is where I post when I’m in social settings and have to pretend im busy

>>23406491
I don't spend that much time browsing these days. I come, I post in a few threads, I leave when I get bored. The boards I'm interested in don't move that fast and I've never been the kind to read every single thread. Sometimes I go quite awhile without being here, it depends on how busy I am. I agree that spending a lot of time here can be bad for your mental health, but that's true of being online in general. Using twitter regularly made me feel much worse than 4chan ever has

My gooning is getting out of control

What should my next bedtime book be? I've narrowed it down to three: Collected Stories of Isaac Babel, The Decameron or Simulacra and Simulation

There are a lot of video games with cool music and atmosphere but god damn do I ever hate the tediousness of the gameplay loop. Why cant games just be walking simulators

>>23406498
That's completely fair. I have very high emotional intelligence personally. People assume that autism means "lack of empathy," and while it can in many cases, it can also swing in the opposite direction with hyper-empathy.

I wish I had some piece of advice to give you or something I could say that would help, but I don't. I'm so sorry that you're going through this anon. I truly wish you the best

>>23406458
Look, I relate to you exactly. But you have to leave. For a long time at least. Evil shit will sneak up on you if you're here too often.
If you don't have rock solid stability in your life, possess the rudiments of having a life, and only infrequently stop by for short visits, then this place will absolutely ruin your life.
Theres a lot of fun banter here but there are truly hostile entities on this site that are on the prowl seeking the destruction of whoever they can get to. And they can do more than you think.

So just try to socialize in person in a safe, low-risk environment. There are public group activities you can join depending on where you live, such as group walks in the park. I also recommend attending Church and talking to the priest or pastor. It's his job to understand people and where they're coming from and how they can get better.

>>23406515
Is it something you'd like to reduce? If so, have you tried any strategies to help you reduce it?

>>23406529
This anon gets it

>>23406515
hnngh

>>23406498
>You made the false assumption you are talking to a human like yourself
The way you were talking earlier made it seem like you maybe had acquaintances that you didn't feel were "real friends" or whatever. A lot of people get that way, they have some ideal of friendship that gets in the way of building up the relationships they already have.

>I'm back in a community college
>There's like two other people in my class and so far I have barely spoken to either
Start by talking to them then. You may have thoughts like, "What if they think I'm weird for talking to all of a sudden when I haven't all semester?" Ignore anything like that, it literally doesn't matter, you have nothing to lose here.

>>23406532
That guy doesn't want help.

>>23406424
Bro I was in your position 2 years ago. Keep working on school, get a part time job, try talking to people, and reopen your older acquaintances

>>23406529
>I also recommend attending Church and talking to the priest or pastor
Ah, so you must be one of those hostile entities

I regret having gone off of my meds because now that I’m back on them I’m going through the awful adjustment period again and my thoughts have been so scary. I keep having these periods of uncontrollable panic, or falling into circular thought spirals about the thing I’m not supposed to think about and getting really agitated. Yesterday I was sorting laundry and all of a sudden I started thinking about it again and I ended up crying on my bedroom floor for like two hours. I just want to be my old self again but the old me is gone forever. Sometimes, like now, I feel more lucid, but the bad feeling always comes back.

I have an appointment for a psych eval in like two weeks. I’m terrified that the psychiatrist is going to diagnose me with a personality disorder, and I’ll have to live with that label for the rest of my life like a scarlet letter. Then everyone who finds out about it will think I’m irreparably disturbed and will always be scared to be close to me, so I’ll always be alone. The idea that the essence of who I am is disordered is so unbearable that I don’t even think I can live with it.

Over the weekend I was reading through this long text conversation that I had with my best friend in June 2022, and I was shocked by how calm and mature and articulate I seemed. I don’t remember how to be the person capable of writing these words. Part of it was me advising her about her relationships with her parents; I had actually forgotten that my friends used to come to me all the time for advice. Then later on I was talking about how I was afraid that I might have some kind of repressed BPD. But then I listed all of the stereotypical insane BPD behaviours, and reassured myself with the idea that I had never allowed myself to do any of those things:

>But once l'm emotionally invested in someone, being abandoned or rejected is like my worse fear, and whenever it happens it's so painful that I feel like I'm dying and I'm totally powerless and l'll do anything to make that feeling stop. I have all of these urges, but rationally I know that engaging in stereotypical aggressive "BPD" behaviours (texting or calling over and over, making threats of self-harm, being highly emotional and erratic, etc) just drives people further away, makes things worse, and makes them think they were right to leave me because I'm obviously overly intense and "crazy." So I don't act out to try to make people come back, especially because if I reveal how much I'm suffering it'll just give them even more power to keep hurting me. I just withdraw into total avoidance because I feel like I can't handle any more stress, and I start self-sabotaging as a way to punish myself for not being good enough to deserve love. I don’t know how to stop.

But it was like some kind of sick self-fulfilling prophecy, because two years later I’ve done every single one of those things. Why? I never wanted to be like this. I can never be spiritually clean again.

i feel like i've gotten dumber since ive been out of school, or at least i'm not using the same parts of my brain.

i kind of miss discussing literature and philosophy, but we all have to grow up some day. i doubt i was ever particularly good at it. still, i suppose i could find a group or something.

>>23406558
What changed?

>>23406548
You can choose to assist a Synagogue if it makes you feel better.

>>23406538
I guess I have my roommates. But in general I feel like I'm talking to an interface when I talk to people. I do have acquaintances: my roommates, teacher at school, classmates, etc . Though none I am close to in any way.
Small talk feels to me like the speech mini game in oblivion--like a predetermined cycle
>>23406547
I'm trying to find work but am struggling. I'm applying to shit like grocery stores and restaurants but don't get calls back. I've probably applied to hundreds. I even used chat gpt to help write a full cover letter for a job at a cafe. Employers regularly ghost me now without explanation.
I've 4 years of work history but it doesn't seem to matter. Two years ago I never had a problem finding a job. I'm not sure what changed

>>23406558
>I was shocked by how calm and mature and articulate I seemed
>literally just saying generic emotional shit about having BPD
lmao

I'm going to a high end restaurant in my pajamas and see if they say anything.

>>23406599
I don't think the greentext is the articulate stuff, it's just another paragraph on the tale.
Poor anon, I can't imagine what it's like to be him.

>>23406480
I am basically like you, my friend. I cannot forgive else I feel like a cuck. The only reason I can accept apologies is because my exes literally sat me down and thought me how apologies should be

Context: fight over miscommunication, feelings, consequences over actions, basically interpersonal conflict thats basically fixable by talking properly

Prerequisite: both parties must be willing to hear out the other and be willing to believe that talking can help the issue. An openness is key. There must be willingness to to understand assymetry in the conflict as well (one might be more wrong than the other etc)

Format: both parties speak without interruption. No defensiveness, no vengeful actions, no justifications. Ego should be kept aside

Apology format: I am sorry. I understand that my actions have caused [whatever] and acknowledge [whatever needs to be acknowledged]. It was a mistake on my part. I will try my best to never do this action again.

Tip: Never say "I'm sorry you felt that way" and/or any other sentence that dismisses blame/acknowledgement or qualifies forgiveness and/or invalidates the others persons feelings. Just a simple "I'm sorry for what I did, i won't do it again

This is a curse! Any other apology, even if i know the person is genuine, feels like insult

Goddamn I feel my vagina growing as i type

>>23406558
>have an appointment for a psych eval in like two weeks. I’m terrified that the psychiatrist is going to diagnose me with a personality disorder, and I’ll have to live with that label for the rest of my life like a scarlet letter. Then everyone who finds out about it will think I’m irreparably disturbed
Unless you're joining the military it really doesn't matter. I don't know how anyone would find out about it unless you told them.
Thinking about it as some permanent, fixed attribute you are branded with is clearly counter productive. Focus on the specific ways you can be better in your daily life

>>23406586
The economy changed. It's not you. Just keep it up man you'll be fine. The struggle is worth the pay off

I get sleep paralysis kind of often, only the paralysis though, no hallucinations. But this morning I had the feeling I was waking up in my bedroom from when I was 7.
I don't think it was visual; it was the smell, I thought I could feel the carpet on my elbows, this taste I had in my mouth that reminded me of 2005 somehow.

What a dead world. Talk about ancient history 4,000 years ago but then they're like oh well there's a bunch of other stuff that's older
What happened then?
Nothing for like 8,000 years
Oh ok well let's go run it this world must be everything that's ever happened
No
It's not even like 1%
Fight over a fraction of a nothingth of history
Nothing else to do on battleworld though
You don't live in magic meaning land there is no extra something out there
There's a story that you willingly stomach everyday or else you can't play anymore

>>23406761
And you know while I'm at it who the fuck cares about the fertile crescent? How come all our history leads back to fucking the middle east? This shit is retarded and broken as fuck. No one even fucking cares.
They teach that shit to us. Nothing about America though. What about the country we're in now? Don't worry about that focus on this shit hole desert in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Damn, this shit is fucked.

>>23406761
Life is like the Big Wheel at the carnival (this big rotating disc of polished wood). The nearer you can get to the hub of the wheel the slower it is moving and the easier it is to stay on. At the very centre there's a point completely at rest. Of course lots of people just enjoy scrambling on and being whisked off and scrambling on again. Then there are others who sit as far out as they can and hold on for dear life and enjoy that. But the whole point about the wheel is that you needn't get on it at all, if you don't want to. People get hold of ideas about life, and that makes them think they've got to join in the game, even if they don't enjoy it. It doesn't suit everyone.

>>23406471
NTA but I was diagnosed 34 years. I’m going to be 42 next month. I’ll say this, it really impedes finding gainful employment.

>>23406517
The last one while lucid dreaming

>>23406525
Get good, scrub

>>23406511
I post in the /history/ general a lot

>>23406390
Suicide prevention is tyranny. The state should only intervene if a person might harm others.

>>23406390
How do I get into an ivy league university, no bullshit

>>23406858
Actually, websites should have to privilege suicide forums just as much as suicide prevention outlets, by law.

Some girls are bigger than others

>>23406471
Has the diagnosis helped you? I was thinking about it but there is no cure anyway. Were you able to accept yourself more after the diagnosis?

i feel weird as i've never had any problems about my self-image
like, i'm fat as fuck, balding, dress like shit, yet if some 11/10 tried to date me i'd be like
>yeah, that makes sense
in general i've managed to score very hot girls somehow
on the other hand this has made me extremely lazy, indolent, and just extremely content
i never worry about the future, because the way i see it, i've already received so much despite being a piece of shit that it's totally warranted god strikes me down hard at some point
on the other hand, things seem to always work out for me somehow, as if there's someone looking out for me

>>23406990
>just extremely content
>i never worry about the future,
The women can smell this kind of easy going confidence and find it attractive. Then it becomes self reinforcing.
Some awkward self conscious dude doesn't get chicks, and not getting chicks reinforces that self consciousness

Finished Uzumaki yesterday, pretty good. I watched Ghost in the Shell as well as Akira with a buddy on Saturday night and I was so impressed by Akira, and already been in the comics/graphic novel/manga spirit, that I decided to dl and read Akira. I thought since Akira is 2,300+ pages I wouldn't actually be able to finish it, but I read almost all of the first volume (1/6) in one sitting last night so I'm encouraged. I have a book I bought from Amazon on Jimmy Page's dealings with the occult and I'm excited to read that too.

This thread is gay.

We deserve this hellish abyss.

>>23406471
There is something deeply and fundamentally wrong with you, it's called autism.

>>23406471
Autism does not wash away the fact that you are defective and lesser than everyone else, as >>23407093 said. It just gives medical confirmation to what you already thought. You are hopelessly inferior in a very important aspect of human life and there is no helping it. There is no way out other than being lucky.

Welp, the Canucks have proven yet again why they suck.

It's disgusting how my country's system of values centers around whether one consents to something or not. You can be a massive degenerate but as long as you and any other involved parties consent to it everything is OK.

>>23406390
I should have drowned in that beach when I was 8.
Failing that, that army man should have shot my father back in the 70s. Alas.

>>23407160
What's so bad about that. If anything we need more of that, not less. (Exceptions apply).
Fuck morality laws. No one gets to say how I bahave, not the state, not a religion.

>>23407183
behave*

How bad is sleeping in your car? I'm sick of paying rent

There something wrong with my dad. He somehow eschews personal responsibility of every action he convinces us of doing.

Recently on holiday he forced my mom to get on a wooden boat in Thailand. My mom was scared and didn't want to. He yelled at her in public and she eventually got in. As she stepped on the boat, she tripped and fell into the water. She got mad at him. When she got upset and blamed him for it, his only response was "so what I'm not the one who broke the boat" completely not seeing that he was the one who put her in this place. She told him it was because he forced her in public and then he responds "oh yes yes blame me blame me, everything is my fault" like an emotionally immature child and now is upset at her for being upset at him

How do you deal with people like this?

>>23407256
If he acts like an immature child, treat him like one.
Disregard his opinion, tell him he's being ridiculous etc

>>23407256
you're gonna have to beat up your dad

>>23406390
Because leftist streamers are all mass produced automatons with the exact same mannerisms, haughty feminine histrionics and talking points, they try to carve out a little individuality with spectacle.

Those too cowardly to trans do this.

>>23407367
Hey it's Morgoth

>>23407367
Anyone who watches a 'streamer' is a retarded faggot.

Do you know anyone approximately 18-35 that is doing anything remotely interesting with their lives? Everyone I know is just working in some lame bullshit job or NEETing. The only real exceptions are some of my military friends and the trust fund kids that traveled and became expats. It’s made me realize that there’s just not much to do for young people now.

>>23407386
Most people I know have relatively interesting lives. I'm 35.

>>23407386
Most of my former peers seem to be regularly going out to do various activities with their numerous friends. Traveling, visiting bars, attending events. All big smiles and earnest laughs. At least that's the impression I get from social media. I don't personally know any of them. It might all be a lie. What kind of person would record or photograph themselves doing these things and then post it for others to see?

>>23407093
Nothing wrong with being autistic

>>23407116
Seethe normoid

>>23407367
Good thing I lean right

>>23407404
It's not objectively wrong in some moral sense but it's basically a disability. I would rather be immoral than disabled.

>>23406390
I'm feeling extremely lonely, so lonely that i hugely tempted to jack it to my exes nudes but there's a pit in my stomach everytime I think of her
im so aroused but i feel like puking

literally just walking stoned around my neighborhood picking up trash and a guy offered me an email job at his immigration non-profit. Said that showing initiative, and giving a shit about the community was all he needed to see, they'll train me on the job. Highest wage I've ever had in my life

>>23407116
Robert Graves said you should guard any slight mania or differentiating oddness as jealously as a savage guards the stone or tree that houses his soul.

>>23407408
The grand medical confirmation that he is, in fact, autistic will not wash away the wall between him and other people. Wow, I'm autistic! I no longer care that I am unable to relate to anyone because I am weird! It is something that will remain forever.

>>23407008
but i thought the point was that women were after go-getters who wanna make billies and take over the world

>>23407429
Yes, even though you are lesser you shouldn't let anyone else know. Keep it hidden as best as you can. Try your hardest to pretend to be normal.

>>23407439
They like social status but part of our brain is very primitive and body language is crucial. The biggest dog isn't always the leader.

>>23407440
No, you keep it sacred - on why modern writers aren't any good he said 'they now take [their issue] along to the National Health psychiatrist, pleading to be de-thinged'.
You try your hardest to be you. After all, nobody can possibly succeed in being you so well as yourself, and gradually you in that favourable position of being in your position can find out far better than anyone else what being you entails

>>23407448
Trying your hardest to be you will not solve the original anons problem. He is not a great artist striving to produce a unique work of art. He wants to make some friends. Being yourself will leave you alone and isolated when you're a weird sperg. You're just spouting ridiculous platitudes that are completely unhelpful. Be yourself and people who like you for you will come be your friends! Are you a 50 year old mother?

>>23407462
yeah take this guys advice on making friends
Why are you lashing out already

>>23407468
"You try your hardest to be you" is too egregious to ignore.

>>23407473
How about: to thine own self be true

>>23407476
This is going to help a socially inept person overcome their lack of social skills how? Sure, be true to yourself. But it is irrelevant to this scenario.

>>23407484
>This is going to help
odd hill to die on considering your first reply was "there is no helping it"

>>23406586
>Small talk feels to me like the speech mini game in oblivion--like a predetermined cycle
It is kinda like that. But you don't stay stuck in small talk forever.

>>23407210
Fine for short stretches but unless you have a car where you can fully and comfortably lay down it will make you feel like shit after awhile

>>23407420
I'm failing uni because I'm retarded. I wish shit like this happened to me.

>>23407489
They disagreed with me. There was no real substance to their disagreement.

>>23407495
To be fair, the only reason I'd take it immediately is because I'm a second gen migrant myself and have absolutely no connection to the place I live in.
I don't care what happesn to it as long as I live. At this point it doesn' even matter whether I live or die.

>>23407497
You should be deported.

This isn’t /adv/, I don’t get why this gay ass thread with fuck all to do with literature is allowed on here

>>23407513
Containment thread. Its the lesser of two evils.

>>23407503
Ius soli, and for the record I do not live in a western country. Although I coul get nationality for one, by virtue of Ius Samguinis
People do migrate to place s other than whatever decadent managed democracy or moribund superpower you come from, you know.

>>23407496
bleak

>>23407520
Regardless of whether I'm from a decadent democracy or not you should not be allowed to destroy that country be bringing in more people like yourself. You have admitted you have no connection to the country and do not care if your actions are detrimental to it. But because you were born there this is now ok? Fuck off.

>>23407386
yup, quite a lot of people even, although the poor aren't doing much because they can't afford it

>>23407535
I don't feel a connection to anywhere else.
>you should not be allowed to destroy that country be bringing in more people like yourself
The country is already detsroyed. And regardless, bringing people like me is not a bad deal as far as migrants go.
>You have admitted you have no connection to the country and do not care if your actions are detrimental to it.
I don't go out of my way to damage it, but yes. Most of the ambitious natives think the exact same way, mind you. So it's not like I'm bringing the heresy of self interest over love for the motherland into a virginal landscape of selfless purity. NGO paper pusher isn't even top 20 in the most destructive influential positions list.
>But because you were born there this is now ok?
It's what they themselves wrote into law.
What do you want me to tell you.

>>23407560
Which country is it?

If someone tells me they don't like Double Bacon Western Cheeseburgers then I know they're a communist or worse; a Jew.

I'm not saying I'm an antisemitic. I am saying they hid under our floorboards because we wanted the nuclear bomb but now we don't need the rest of this cut my dick off and suck on foreskin kinda stuff the Jew beast likes so much
Which is fine if that's your culture as a demon monster
But I just don't want it in my country
And I f eel like not wanting my citizen's babies to be raped at birth by an old faggot Jew should if anything make me a good guy

burgers are shit
where i live i can either go buy some garbage cheap burger that tastes like ass, or go buy one of those restaurant burgers that's huge as shit and a pain to eat
like, who the fuck makes those? are they retarded? how am i supposed to eat that comfortably?
retarded food for retarded people, i'll take a gyros or a slice of pizza over that any day

>>23407566
Mexico.

>>23407577
>>23407586
For less than the cost of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, you can buy a loaf of fresh bread and some good cheese or roast beef, which you will enjoy much more.

>>23407601
rip

>>23407601
yes i know i'm just replying to that anon
i mean i'm a dumb gay euro who loves eating bread without anything else if you give it to me, i don't really need all this fancy shit
i'm just saying, only an american could be so fucking stupid as to come up with those ultra-sized burgers so thick that you couldn't even bite around fucking half
food that isn't easy and convenient to eat fucking infuriates me, i want to sit down and eat like a human not an animal
and don't even get me started on those people cutting burgers with a fork and knife... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD

>>23406849
Agreed. Personally I never tell employers that I'm autistic. Interviews are the worst because they're basically just social tests.

>>23406891
It has helped me a lot mainly because it explains things to me. When I went in for my evaluation, I honestly didn't know if I was autistic or not. Having certainty helps me understand myself a lot better. I know how to meet my needs better now, and I'm less likely to beat myself up about my limitations. It's still a disability, which sucks, but understanding it better helps.

>>23407619
thx

>>23407619
i went to get diagnosed certain i would be because i have so many autistic things about me
>rock back and forth
>love water
>can listen to the same song over and over
>play only the same map in a game for thousands of hours
yet, somehow, despite being CERTAIN i'd be labelled autistic, they basically just told me i'm a freak and i can go home

>>23407634
>love water
Pls explain

>>23407636
i've been told autists love the sounds water make and find it soothing, like rivers, oceans, running water, whatever
they love that shit and so do i

>>23407256
Based dad. Sounds eerily similar to my middle age persona.

>>23407640
I thought it was like water is amazing on a chemical level or look at my complete map of the Paris sewer system. Never heard that kind of water love linked to autism, because most people find water sounds relaxing. That's why there are so many sleep music things with rain in them.

>>23407386
Me? This might not be anything out the ordinary, but I eat shit every single day.

>>23407420
Pot smokers are generally subhumans, dumb workgiver, probably a stupid potsmoker himself.
Kys.

>>23407420
>immigration non-profit
Which means what?

An infrared dot hovers over her glabellar notch. I exhale, then squeeze the trigger.

>use anime website
>complain when anime gets posted
It's fucking unfathomable that these people exist.

>write a whole ass paragraph for my thoughts
>post it
>doesn't appear in the thread
>somehow I get a (you) for another poster
thanks gook moot

>>23407701
Anime SUCKS

>>23407701
Fuck off weeb faggot

>>23407682
>glabellar

>>23407386
The funny thing is that despite all the "fun stuff" some of us do, it's all meaningless and hollow at the end of the day. I'm travelling to Europe for a few weeks in a couple days and I don't even feel a hint of excitement.

>>23407756
>>23407751
You could use literally any other website but instead you come here, to one specifically designed for the discussion of anime. I don't know what you expected.

Bocchi and Frieren were really good.

/lit/ - anime and other chinkshit

I’m thinking about quitting my job to live as urban poor while I try to get to a point where I can earn a living off my writing. I’ve started to think my problem is that I’ve had it too easy and I’ve gotten too comfortable. I don’t feel that edge that I had when I was poor as a teenager.

>>23407838
Actually Dexter's Lab was Russian-American.

>>23407400
None of this is really interesting though. If you wrote a biography on them, nobody would give a shit that they went out to bars.

>>23407822
I don’t mean travel like vacation travel but like actually living abroad for a period of time or backpacking.

>>23407832
Go post on /a/. This is /lit/.

>>23407852
I don't see the problem with a normal boring life doing normal acceptable things. We can't all be explorers and conquerors.

>>23407601
Big Mac > Big Black

>>23407448
> picrel
This. Leading a normie life is the most un-European thing one can do and a foreign import that doesn't predate the colonial times (just like eurocunts imported mandatory elementary schooling from China, and suspended bridges from the Incans, but no one talks about that, what matters is that everyone keeps believing the old imperial lie Europe invented everything and all other countries are third world shitholes)

>>23407856
Personally I love my normal boring life. I work from home doing a desk job while I listen to music and drink coffee all day. My wife cooks me lunch and we eat together. Once I get off work, I go for a walk in the park or do some reading. Then I either play Stardew Valley with the wife or work on an art project while we listen to creepypastas. Every Friday night we get pizza and our one dessert of the week. We drink energy drinks and stay up late playing video games. On Saturday I go over to a friend's house to play boardgames. Afterwards I might take the wife out shopping or visit a park with her. Sundays are for church and relaxing at home. Then I do it all over again the next week. It's dull, mundane, and completely unremarkable, but I absolutely love it.

>>23407852
Only a handful of biographies are worth reading, that standard is way too high. Many people I know live abroad though, even if most are still inside the EU.

>>23407894
Sounds nice. It's not that easy to build that kind of life either. At least to me it seems hard.

>>23407892
Then how to live a non-normie life? Join the Foreign Legion to kill niggers in Africa for 5 years? Get thrown in Turkish prison? Join the merchant marines?

>>23407923
You could always go to SEA.

>>23406424
Single best thing you can do is spend less time online
https://youtu.be/IOWelVx5CUw?si=f9EjG42wXtle6vaG

>>23407929
What awaits the favstian man there besides the prospect of fucking ladyboys?

>>23407856
There’s nothing inherently wrong with it but it should go without saying that there are people for whom that’s not enough and they’re still alive and dealing with having nothing to do

>>23407897
Not really. Pretty much everyone had a more interesting life just a few generations ago. Try to find journals of your ancestors or something. You’ll be blown away if you can find them.

>>23407894
It’s nice but I just really struggle with being happy with it in the long run. I feel like I’ve accidentally wasted my life and I’m really unhappy about it. I never wanted to have a comfy life, not while I was young anyway. I wanted to live remarkably and be adventurous, to struggle, and succeed. I feel like I’ve never got to do that.

I regret not joining the army when I was a fresh high school or college graduate.

What’s a good place to expat for a year or two? Japan looks cool but it feels too trivial.

>>23407952
Burundi

>>23407877
cosign
also he's an actual pedo, right?

Just learn to bake.

>>23407911
I agree, it isn't easy. I won't bore you with my life story, but I've overcome a lot to get to where I am now.

>>2340794
I understand where you're coming from. I find a lot of my purpose in religion, but I know that isn't for everyone. I enjoy low-budget international travel when I can to get a small taste of adventure. I find it very meaningful to spend time with my loved ones and help others. I feel that I am struggling and succeeding in my own way; I don't need to be extraordinary to do so. The truth is that most people are unremarkable, and there's nothing wrong with that. You may not mean much to the world at large, but you can mean a ton to the people in your inner circle. You may not change the world, but you can work to make somebody's day a little better every chance you get. I wish you all the best and hope you are able to find the fulfillment you seek.

>>23407894
I have a similar life. I just want chapters of my life which are more adventurous than this. I don’t want to live on the road forever or something, but a few years abroad, a few years in the army, a few years working for pennies as urban poor, all in-between or perhaps before a comfortable life is what I wanted. It’s about deeds imo. What bothers me most is feeling like I already blew my shot at that and not knowing how to get it at this point. I’m too old for the army, I can travel but it’s not the same anymore and it’s hard to give up this comfort once you’ve got it, and it’s hard to just choose to be urban poor once you’re rural rich. You get what I’m saying?

I hate alcohol withdrawals. I can never sleep right with them

>>23407854
it's an anime website
you can cry all you want, you have a million websites to choose to post on but you chose the weeb website

>>23407989
feel like alcoholics are never taken seriously compared to other addicts (heroin, etc), but aren't alcohol withdrawals the ones that can actually kill you

>>23407991
Where else should I post about books? Reddit? There is no alternative to this place.

>>23407965
I'm motherfucking marco pierre white betch

>>23407701
>>/lit/?task=search&ghost=false&search_text=%22anime+website%22

>>23407996
Yes, I know a few people who had seizures from alcohol withdrawal.

>>23408011
All one retard. Anyone who likes Japanese cartoon slop this much must be profoundly stupid. Grow up, buddy. Read a book or something.

>>23407892
>Leading a normie life is the most un-European thing one can do
The vast majority of Europeans have lived a "normal life"

>>23408027
Not true we were all KINGS and conquerors.

>>23407996
Alcoholism is an addiction that can be managed and functioned on.

>>23408019
Feel free to fuck off to reddit if the possibility of someone posting an anime reaction image triggers you this much.

There's so much wisdom in this frfr

All I want is bondage sex. Is that too much to ask?

>>23406567
Something kind of fucked up happened and I just lost it. I don’t know how to explain it all.

>>23406599
When I said that I was talking about a different part of our conversation, where I was giving her advice about dealing with her parents.

>>>23406621
Isn't it the sort of thing that you’re kind of obligated to tell other people, if your relationship with them is serious enough?

The maid didn't get the cum stain out of my underwear. Is it because hand washing doesn't get it out or did she refuse to touch that part?

Also she put the underwear on the line where everyone could see the cum stains.

>>23408201
The rational man little bitch vs the intuitive amor fati Ubermensch

The high I get when some leftist tries to be edgy and I bait him along at work hours, insulting his gf and everything he loves.

My mom is crying.

>>23408328
Give her a tea and cookies

>>23406548
>there are people seeking to send your immortal soul straight to hell
>but Christ is… le bad!
Sorry, but that’s you.

>>23407616
Yeah it’s on my ISP so I don’t have that option

Also noticed there has been a five year gap between the last mention of Harold Laswell and the one before it.

>>23408201
just a more cringe rewording of this post

The world awaits a new Caesar, a new Napoleon, a new conquerer who sweeps aside the old order of things. I don't mean Hitler; I don't mean Trump, either, since Hitler failed and his changes were undone, and Trump seems likely to fail, too. I mean a successful conqueror, a successful Emperor. You can see that the old order of things in the West is senile and incompetent, barely being held together. It awaits the next Great Man who comes along and brushes it all aside. I believe he is probably coming soon. He may already be here, we just don't recognize him yet.

>>23408392
What is an ISP?

>>23408201
>If I put the towel over my eyes, nobody can see me! The world is too dark!

>>23408431
The next Great Conquerer could be some frustrated 14 year-old chud who browses /pol/ and watches Nick Fuentes.

Accidentally licked my fingers after wiping and got poop in my mouth.

>>23408431

nice i start going to church and i get attacked by demons from every angle.

Nihilism can also be found in punishment, I mean societies with strong worldviews have no problem with getting rid of its adversaries and heretics. This proves that liberal society doesn't takes itself seriously, it has no problem with different ideas because there's absolutely no a central idea and as such there's no such a thing as dissidents

i am a 21st century schizo man, i am judged by the advancedness of my tech, my car, my house ,my gpt assistant, and the way I maneuver.

>>23408461
> Alexander the Great
Conquered and put all of Anterior Asia under the rule of Greek nobilities for Centuries to come
> Napoleon
Left sons and legacy, conquered all of Europe
> Hitler
Will be remembered thousands of years from now. A man too great for his whole millennium. Immortalized the Germanic idea and the white race.

>>23408470
That's why liberal society is so based.

I almost wish I became a Nietzschean BAPist existentialist when I was an undergrad because then I would’ve done some wild stuff to try to be an ubermensch. Then again, it seems like most of these people end up becoming socially isolated and terminally online gymcels in small towns and D-list cities.

>>23408522
>then I would’ve done some wild stuff to try to be an ubermensch
Like getting involved in gay orgies through Grindr and tanning your balls?

>>23408494
His country fell to pieces. Alexander's cutting the gordian knot was an offence to tradition. It was his defiance of ancient custom that brought ruin on the Greek civilisation.
>Left sons
only an illegitimate son survived him.

YouTube keeps recommending me Islamic apologetics shit and I am NOT interested in that crap.

>>23408522
just like Nietzsche, i'm nearly certain BAP has done less 'wild' shit than he lets on. he's too much of an intellectual to not be almost repulsed by the degeneracy which he thinks he's advocating for.

>>23408546
If that photo that's supposedly of him is really him then he looks too physically weak to have done much real carousing. He looks thin and reedy.

>>23408546
Obviously. The whole tropical bodybuilder thing probably references a vacation experience or something. The only actual Nietzschean was Ernst Junger and I’m pretty sure he abandoned Nietzsche before the 30s were over.

>>23407997
the motte

I’ve started to think 26-29 are the make or break years. You might get one more shot from 30-32 but by 33 you’re cooked.

Do you agree?

>>23408660
have you ever thought of what kind of person most of the famous phiolosphers would be if they were young and lived in our time?

>>23408676
they'd probably be streamers.

>>23408660
Make or break what?

>>23408531
sauce on pic pls

>>23408660
I don't think there are make or break years. I think life is a combination of factors outside of yourself and the choices you make. You can choose to make different choices at any point in your life; you aren't limited to a set of special years when you absolutely have to get it all right.

People say that college is the best years of your life, but I had a pretty bad college experience. Sure, I'm bummed that I can't go back and redo it, but the fact that it was bad hasn't prevented me from thriving in the following years.

Is writing even worth it? I feel like I've wasted most of my life and my entire academic career chasing dream that's only ruined my life.
My family is disappointed that I've found a normal 9-5 and have given up on writing all together. I understand why they're upset, but I need a job, I need money to survive. I've already wasted too much time, and if i can't make a career out of it, or even make any money out of it at all, then what's the point?

There was a time in my life when writing for the sake of writing made me happy, but now, at this point of my life, trying to write anything just reminds me of all my past failures that have led to my life being the way it is. I feel like writing only makes me sad and depressed now, and have no motivation to write anything despite encouragement from friends and family, as well as having several story ideas fleshed out enough to start writing a book at any time.
I ask you: is writing worth it? is it really worth it? does finishing and publishing a book really feel as fulfilling as everyone makes it sound, or is it really just a waste of time?

I can't quit porn.

>>23408531
Ok? It is even greater of a merit, to gather such a huge legacy, such a large audience, such an unsurmountable mountain of dead people and much a greater fight over an idea, good or bad, within such a limited amount of recources and time. I won't debate over wether Hitler was good or bad, but he will be remembered as one of the greatest men to have ever been seen over the face of Europe, together with people like Alexander, Napoleon, much like it isn't debated wether they were good or bad, but unquestionably admitted that they were great. In the days when Trump and Biden have been long forgotten, thousands of years away from current year, Hitler will still be written about in the history books. Hitler is great, because he is timeless, only great man surpass the ins and outs of current decade.

>>23408787
You might need to get off 4chan buddy. I love /lit/, but even this board gets the occasional booba image posted. Eventually you can come back here, but at the beginning you should focus on removing anything that could potentially remind you of porn.

>>23408763
the moment you stopped being happy while writing is the moment it stopped being worth it. Come back in 10 years and see if you have changed your mind

>>23408787
There's two ways out. Remove it entirely, by stepping away from places you frequently see or access it (and potentially going so far as to remove most technology from your life, if you need to), or sublimate the desire you feel for it into something else by realizing that the perceived allure it presents is really just you robbing yourself of time and energy for something that, ultimately, isn't really all that satisfying or enjoyable. If it was, you wouldn't need to spend minutes or hours opening dozens of tabs and hunting for ever more specific videos and images, nor would you feel the disappointment and self-disgust afterwards that you surely do feel if you're making this kind of post.
If you're capable of a degree of self-detachment, observe closely what you tell yourself as the temptation presents itself, and notice what the temptation promises versus what it delivers - ultimately anything you could view or watch will be far more exciting and arousing in your mind, considered as a fantasy, than it really is when in front of you, and the potential pleasure you could feel from the act, similarly, will always be far greater in your imagination than when you feel it in real life. Observing this dilemma, you can begin to understand that the enemy you are fighting is essentially a set of illusions you willingly believe in because, in the moment, the thing they promise to deliver outweighs any objections you raise to it - though it never does actually deliver on said promise.
Also, speak to a priest. Doubtless, he will have seen many, many people just like you before and may be able to guide you.

>>23408556
How did he abandon nietzsche when he and heidegger wrote about nihilism in Uber die line and later he referred nietzsche as old gunpowder head in aladdin's problem? Nietzsche was always present in jüngers thought just not in the die arbeiter way

I suspect that a major cause of alienation among the young is how small the young adult population is. I remember feeling lonely and going out to try and meet people. Everywhere I went, everyone was AT LEAST a decade older than me. This makes sense because the median age in my state is 37. I think a major reason why boomers are so out of touch is because they don't realize how hard it is for young people to meet other young people. They grew up in a baby boom and so there were young people everywhere when they were coming of age. Now it's like being in a desert. After graduating high school I have never been able to find people my own age to be around.

a beautiful girl made me a crepe today and capitalism did not charge me enough for the experience

>>23407962
He’s written some disgusting stuff about owning and looking at CSAM in the past. People will say he was just doing it to be edgy and transgressive, but I don’t know. I don’t get how any sane adult can see someone graphically describing images of a toddler being abused, and then just laugh it off as dark humour and not take it seriously. Reading his article about Pure Mag was incredibly upsetting and disturbing, and I wish I could unsee it. I get that his whole thing was trying to shock and offend people, but after a certain point it just becomes sick and indefensible.

how the fuck do people find friends? Every person in my life have used something I did or said against me and its impossible to trust anyone, and yet I both want and need someone to trust; but it is impossible. Fuck.

>>23408847
I live in a big city near a campus, but when I go back to my hometown to visit my parents, I'm shocked by how few young people there are. It's honestly brutal and idk how I will make friends once I graduate and leave this city

>>23406390
I thought I was a rebel all these years but in this clown world making your parents proud, being a good person, and believing in higher communal values are the truer acts of rebellion

>>23408676
They’d probably work dead end jobs before killing themselves or be faggy tech workers

"And if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restor'd, and sorrows end."

Tremendous.

>>23409077
“If it be so / It is a chance which does redeem all sorrows /That ever I have felt.”

credible threats of violence should be protected under the First Amendment.

AHHHH I CAN'T DO IT

She's waiting for me to invite her over but it's been so long since I last had sex the idea of it is terrifying me right now.

All semester long I was thinking "man If only I had more time I would be doing all kinds of things." Well the semester ended on Friday and I've already run out of things to do. I got up early to hike this morning. Then I took my dog down town to flirt with girls (I failed). And now I'm bored, about to turn on the TV.
>inb4 read
I'm gonna try that but I'm really tired and have a headache from walking in the sun all day.

>>23409365
You got this anon. Spend more time on foreplay than you think you need and she'll enjoy it. All you gotta do is make her feel safe and cared for

"I feel alienated from the world," said John, looking out the window.

"I don't fit anywhere. There is nothing I feel the need to prove or do. My value as a human being doesn't amount to anything for that reason. I'm a ghost, aware of its condition, but unable to leave Earth. There has to be a God, for only God could explain my presence on this planet."

"If there were a God, he wouldn't have tolerated your existence," whispered Curtis through dehydrated lips, tugging at the chains holding him down.

"That's where you're wrong," answered John, not looking back. "Where everyone else is wrong. God is not meant to fit your limited perspective. If you made a terrarium, and insects killed each other for fun in it, would you stop them? You probably wouldn't. That doesn't mean you agree with the killing of ants, or anything as a whole. In making the terrarium because you like nature, you also made insect killings possible. But you don't agree with it. In that spirit, I truly think this world was made by a benevolent God."

"Although He probably doesn't agree with what I'm doing right now, everything is already said and done from His perspective. The war was over from the moment it started, and nothing will save what you love, Curtis, I am afraid," John clarified with a smile.

"You are fucking sick!" cried Curtis, his face covered by his thick sausage fingers. "There will be nothing left of anything if you keep going. Stop now, please, I beg you!"

"Fatties must pay, Curtis. There are too many obese people in this world, and I have no goal, so they must all die," whispered John before pressing the red button on his desk.

Click.

>>23409373
You're right, plus she's so sweet and kind and understanding that I doubt she'd care anyway, and especially not if I explained myself (eg "Once I get into the groove, the next couple times will be better I promise"), but the impulse to just turn off my phone and jack off is strong; no one to judge me there...

>>23409382
I wouldn't feel the need to explain myself if I were you. Porn makes sex look difficult and sets up false expectations for how people should preform, but real life doesn't work like that. I promise she will spend far more energy worrying about her own personal insecurities than analyzing your performance. Just be genuine and willing to listen to her cues regarding what she does/doesn't like. If she says "don't stop" or something along those lines, keep doing *exactly* what you were at the moment she said it.

>>23409400
Yeah I haven't had sex in like... 4 years, Christ, that I don't remember how I used to go about it, I used to be solidly confident about my sexual 'technique' and routine. I don't know, I just need to get that first 'bad one' out of the way and the future ones my dick will hold up lol. But thank you for the replies and advice.

>>23409414
Of course! Like I said, you got this. She's more worried about whether or not you find her attractive than she is about your technique, so don't stress about it too much

>>23407116
>There is no way out other than being lucky
Or you could become an accountant, engineer, or IT guy. My autism is terminal and that's what I did. As did all my equally autistic friends.

>>23407682
Not bad

>>23409423
I'm 26 with only a BA in English and I make six figures working in marketing. Autism gang stay winning.

>>23409421
Alright I just sent the text asking her to come over and hangout, wish me luck.

AHHHH FUCK WHAT HAVE I DONE

Phew, aiight, thanks for the kind and helpful words.

>>23408239
>Isn't it the sort of thing that you’re kind of obligated to tell other people, if your relationship with them is serious enough?
Why? Just don't tell them. I don't see why there would be an obligation.
I used to be pretty depressed in college, but I've never told anyone about it and feel no need to

wondering if my recent schizo flare up is due to not fapping for over a week and having every piece of work I do feel meaningless.

>>23409465
There’s a big difference between being moderately depressed for a period of time vs. having an actual personality disorder that impacts your ability to function in every area of your life and impairs your ability to form healthy relationships.

Decided to read through The Institutes of The Christian Religion by John Calvin. I opened on Chapter 7 just because I was interested to see the Catholic argument against Sola Scriptura directly addressed. Calvin's argument is the same as what I thought to be very intuitive: if Scripture comes from God then it precedes the formation of the church in both its creation and authority.
It's a real shame that Reformed Theology is neglected so much in places like /lit/ and in the broader zeitgeist. If people would read something as concise and accessible as The Institutes, they wouldn't turn to weird Orthodox ritualism to salvage Christianity. The way many people turn to Catholcism and Orthodoxy is reminiscent of the way so many westerners turn to Eastern philosophy: its exotic and different.

>>23409414
>Yeah I haven't had sex in like
I haven't touched a woman since I came out my mom's vagina

Engaging with young people is exhausting. They parade their idiocy and clear lack of literacy with radicalism. They equate radicalism with sophistication and intelligence. They see a Tiktok edit of some 20th century socialist revolutionary with terrible music playing over the clip and turn into a living basedjak. It's foul.

>read/watch romance story
>"oh wow this is cute and nice"
>voice in the back of my head keeps repeating "I should kill myself, I should jump off a building, I should jump off a bridge" over and over

>>23408790
To evoke posterity is to weep on your own grave.
Two more dates of birth and life for the hour of special study from which all boys and girls of mettle play truant. Talked about by people with novelettish ideas about greatness.
>Ok?
funny how these sort of people always come out with an icarly style of writing

>>23409558
me in every situation at all times

I am utterly convinced that most people are in favor of torture and execution as the justest forms of punishments but are too big pussies to admit it.

>>23409558
>>23409563
I used to get those thoughts but by taking agency first over my own mind and then my own life I now have that same voice going "I love being life, life is good, I am happy."

>>23409583
that's gay

>>23409558
yeah I unironically can't read romance. every sentimental moment or reciprocation of love just makes me want to scream 'fake and gay' and then I get the usual passing thoughts of not existing any longer.

>>23409588
You're gay

i'm gay.

>hate touching people or being touched
>shy away from intimacy or attempts to get to know me
>associate sexual things with guilt/shame/disgust; came to associate things that make me feel guilty with arousal as a result
>bizarre childhood memories dancing around sexual topics but no explicit scenes or acts
Sometimes I wonder if I was touched or abused as a kid but since I don't remember anything like that there's no way to know. It would be really convenient if I had something to blame for my generally dysfunctional approach to sexuality and intimacy, though.

>>23408738
Robert Graves' essay on genius from Difficult Questions, Easy Answers

>>23408787
why quit? porn is good

Just nutted. Now it's time to make some covfefe, take a shit, take a shower, smoke some weed, and then finish Akira vol. 1.

>>23409959
what did you nut to?

Tomorrow is the last time I can ever see my current therapist because she got a new job and is leaving and this is such terrible timing because I feel like I’m on a downward spiral again and now I’m going to have to get a new therapist who may or may not be helpful and I’ll have to go into detail about all of the stuff that I don’t like talking about again and I don’t think that I can do it

>>23409969
Lyra Lockhart, Persian Earth mother.

It took some time but I'm finally at the point of getting drunk every single night

>>23409980
Looks like your average cs chud lol

The laziness and cowardice which have given me the reasons to kill myself are the same laziness and cowardice which prevent me from doing so. Watchful guardians over my stalemate.

>>23410045
What brought you to that point?

How do I become more intellectual? Like what should I be reading to become big brained

>>23410097
Start with hundreds of hours of YouTube video essays.

>>23409980
She looks ugly as fuck. You'd have to pay me to wack off to that ogre

>>23410052
>>23410142
You asked...

>>23410045
Are you okay? :(

>I really need this
Splendid

>>23409521
>difference between being moderately depressed for a period of time vs. having an actual personality disorder that impacts your ability to function in every area of your life and impairs your ability to form healthy relationships.
I don't see how that's relevant. You still don't have to tell anyone about the label,l. They'll be able to tell you're mental when you start acting mental.
Starting to think you just want to tell people for the attention
Also btw personality disorders aren't real. You're probably just a massive cunt irl

>>23410116
I already do that

>>23410045
ITS GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIGN

>>23410155
>You still don't have to tell anyone about the label.
I think that if I’m eventually in a relationship with someone, I’m obligated to be honest and open with that person about any serious mental health diagnoses that I have. Obviously I wouldn’t tell acquaintances or people who I just have casual friendships with.

>Starting to think you just want to tell people for the attention
The only people I have ever discussed my mental health with IRL are two of my closest friends, various medical professionals, and occasionally my parents if they ask about it. It’s not something I like to broadcast to everyone around me, because it’s something I’m deeply ashamed of. I actually strongly dislike it when people constantly talk about their various diagnoses publicly, and construct an entire personal narrative where they’re always the victim.

>You're probably just a massive cunt irl
You’re making a lot of unfair assumptions here. There have been specific upsetting intepersonal situations in the past two years in which I’ve acted very badly, which I now regret. However, that behaviour was the result of extreme emotional and psychological distress. Even so, I have to take responsibility, so I won’t claim to be a good person or justify my actions by claiming positive intent or using my mental illness as an excuse. That problematic behaviour was also localised to one very specific area of my life, and no one else really knows about it. Outside of that, generally speaking I do not treat other people badly at all. In virtually all of my IRL interactions with others (friends, family, acquaintances, etc.) I’m very polite and mostly normal, although I can be a bit withdrawn and anxious at times. If I’m feeling agitated or having a hard time controlling my emotions I’ll remove myself from the situation so that I can deal with it privately. I generally hate conflict, and will go to great lengths to avoid confrontation.

>personality disorders aren't real
This degree of ignorance makes it impossible for me to take you seriously.

>>23409798
Thank you

Worldly knowledge is not intelligence but rather it is a form of cunning.

True intelligence is moral and originates from the noetic faculty.

>>23408531
How is Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Hitler a psychopath but not Julius Caesar? He was also a dictator who committed genocide.

My guts just threw up.

>>23410276
They're all obviously psychopathic

>>23410276
All those men are types of antichrist.

"Great men" of history, titans of industry, genius artists and inventors and popes too. The emperors of the earth who all claimed to be gods. But there is only one God and our abilities are given graces to honor and worship him.

>>23410206
Yo I'm gonna lay a whammy on your ass: personality disorders aren't real. Lol they're just some shit made up by people who work in an entirely fabricated industry because it serves the interests of the normative power structure.

>>23410285
Is God in the room with us now?

>>23409663
Were you circumcised without consent? There's your answer. Probably. Because I'm the same way and I tell myself the same thing.

>>23410288
Everywhere

>>23410308
Explain

three maybe four posts in this thread bothered me but I don't care enough to reply anymore k bye

It's funny when people don't believe things that actually happened to me.

>>23409560
Hitler was still a great man. Debating the definition on what a great man is won't change that. Useless plebbitor.

holy shit taking notes on books you read is great

Nietzsche was still a Christian.

I understand that I'm weird, but I don't understand why I should be discriminated against for this reason? Would you like it if others also discriminated against you precisely because *you* also look strange to others? Everyone is different, so I don't see why we can't all look at the positive side of our differences and be happy about it? After all, if all people were the same, the world would be boring, right? Maybe then we should just be happy that we all have certain differences and live with that, without spreading discord among each other, discriminating against each other because of certain things that others cannot change, condemning others for it. It's quite stupid that others discriminate against each other when you can find yourself in this situation once. What then? And what if your child is born different, should other people also make fun of him just because he was born something different? You don't control it, he doesn't control it, it would just be so much better if we all stopped judging each other, discriminating against each other. This is stupid. It doesn't allow people to be themselves, it only encourages people to fit in and be exactly who they don't want to be, to be dependent on others, to be involuntary voluntary slaves just to fit the expectations of others.

>>23410471
I disagree. Unless you redefine christian into being a meaningless term.
But you could make an argument that the Nietzchean project is also an ideology of decádence.
Not a particularly good one, but it's there.

>>23410556
This way alot of problems would be solved. Alot of murderers come from broken families. Alot of criminals come from broken homes. Alot are made due to bullying. People are naturally free beings. Why must we impose our own arbitrary rules upon others, when we can just let them be free and do as they please? When you try to control human beings, alot of the time you don't get the result you want, sometimes they lash out, only sometimes do you succeed. We should not be forceful to others. They can do whatever they want, and we must not infringe upon that. If they are acting badly, let them. If they are acting not in a way you would like, encourage them by giving them incentives instead, reward them, not punish them? It is up to him how he acts, not to us. We cannot control these things, it is not up to us.

at last i understand: the purpose of life is to prepare for death. Life is fleeting, temporary, transient. Death is without time, forever, permanent. What else can the purpose of something temporary be, than to prepare for the permanent? But of course, it is not just any death, but a GOOD death, one by natural means, of old age typically, or as fate wills. But the goal is to be ready for it, to be ready to die and leave everything behind. To dismiss oneself early is to do this prematurely, to cling onto life for life's sake is a fool's errand towards futility. Yes, this is it, a good death can thus be achieved paradoxically by having lead a good life, gained from accepting and knowing death

>>23410612
Or you could just live your life and then spend 1 week dying on morphine, so you will hardly experience anything. Why is that last week so special? You might even die suddenly and all the preparation will be useless.

Good art comes from the past. Great art comes from the future.

>>23410584
That's already how society is set up. You get incentivized and rewarded for doing what the system wants and punished for doing what it doesn't, and if you shut up and mind your business, you usually get left alone. So what do you mean

Fed up of constant job rejections, Gonna start identifying myself as Bisexual and Non-binary and Mixed race- black

>>23410702
Won't work
Say that you smoke w33d all day. Bosses think that shit is cool

I'm starting to dislike religions but I still dislike atheists more

>>23410668
We as humans should be totally respecting each other of our differences. Each human is different and unique. No matter what. If a person is a retard, let him be retarded. If a person is a faggot, let him be a faggot. If a whore is a whore, let her be a whore. If a person wants to overdose on heroin, let it be and let nature just take care of it. You really shouldn't worry, because most of the time and you have no control over it.

The last women who were kind to me were a couple of strippers. My therapist and strippers. I have to pay for kindness. A very expensive kindness.

>>23410750
why not hookers instead of strippers?

>>23410746
Concerning yourself with others most of the time is a waste of time. All you can really do is follow the golden rule: treat yourself as you would like others to treat you. Nobody likes a nagger, a criticiser. Best course of action is to pay no mind towards other people, be indifferent. Just accept them for who they are and move on.

>>23410750
That's just the way society works bro.

>>23410746
What about if a person harms others unprovoked

>Apply for fast food job.
Get turned down.
>Apply for retail job.
Get turned down.
>Apply for warehouse job.
Get turned down.

Those are realistically the only jobs I can do. I can't do factory work cause that requires you to be there early and I don't drive, and there aren't any other types of jobs within a reasonable distance. I feel like shit every single day, I just got accepted for neetbux and they're giving me just a little bit more than $100 a week, that's fucking nothing and half of it is going to my mum for rent.

>>23410762
>What about if a person harms others unprovoked
He is free to act as he wants, only then will he have to accept the consequences of his behavior and possibly be raped by the state because he did not follow the rules of the state.

>>23410792
Free will. If a person is a low IQ retard, let him be a low IQ retard. He just must accept the consequences of his actions.

>>23410754
That’s the next step on my slippery slope

I light little fires
watch them grow
pretend I'm helpless
knight with no dragon

>>23410796
hookers are good, just make sure you wear proper PPE and don't overpay
also pick the absolute best (for you)

I'm really stupid, like, really stupid. Not stupid like most people who call themselves stupid but are actually intellectually fine, if only a little below average. I don't understand why I'm so stupid. I have to have the most basic things explained to me in 10 different ways before I even begin to understand them, and even then I'll look at you dumbfounded and have to think real hard before a thought even worth anyone's time starts forming in my head.

>>23410875
I think that's pretty much how brains work. It's only easy when you heard some variations of the same shit a million times.
It takes weeks to physically grow new connections. To register something new in a few seconds it has to be represented using the connections that are already there like through metaphors.

>>23410899
>I think that's pretty much how brains work.
I think it is for stupid people. I don't know a single other person in my life who is as slow as me, seriously, if you explained any of the shit that I take ages to understand to anyone else, they'd get it immediately. There's something seriously wrong with me, I've been like this since childhood, the only classes in school that I passed were PE (and who fails that?) and sometimes I barely scraped by in English.

>>23410909
A large man with a big brain is slower but retains more so the benefits build over time. A specializer can be quick, plasticity comes with sacrifices. Failing everything does sound dumb but you don't sound dumb.

>>23410909
Might be ADHD bucko.

>>23410875
I have the same problem, yet my IQ is 149. I tend to have brainfog alot, and I have ADHD. Might be not due to how intelligent you are, but due to other factors, such as not enough sleep, not enough energy, not paying attention or other things.

>>23410964
Maybe, I do have to rewind shows that I'm watching all the time cause I'll constantly zone out and miss little bits of it. I'll never know though, it's too expensive to get diagnosed.

>>23410750
Your mistake to begin with was thinking that women are capable of kindness towards anyone else but their children. Are you going to be sad that monkeys can't play chess with you next?

>>23411127
>Are you going to be sad that monkeys can't play chess with you next?
Nta but i'm sad about this now you bring it up

Where is there money to be made? Where is my version of what Africa was to Cecil Rhodes?

>>23411222
The internet and the corporate world.

>>23411222
>I would like to go full dickhead
Cobalt and cyanide. China might kill you though

Youtube channels relying on stock footage deserve some hate

>>23411222
I've heard that arms dealing is pretty lucrative.

New: >>23411298
New: >>23411298
New: >>23411298

>>23411222
Start selling organs from poor African regions. Plenty of desperate poor people there.

>>23410097
London black cab driver's test

>>23410276
His character. One of the few good emperors

>>23410416

>>23406431
Just read power fantasy isekai manga/anime

>>23411524
Is that Robert Graves the poet?