/lit/ - Literature

This is our opportunity for healing and unity, /wg/.
Genre writers, post something good about litfic writers.
Litfic writers, post something good about genre writers.

>>23250849
Litfic: don't ever change, you're always at the forefront of human artistic expression. You're timeless and will be remembered in the canon forever
Genrefic: you've found out how to exploit the worst in humanity for profit and meager gain. That requires cunning and a distinct lack of human empathy. Congrats! Not everyone can do what you do.

>>23250849
I tried, but failed. There is no redeeming quality in them

>>23250870
Just remember that 'litfic' means the good authors, definitely not anyone in this thread

>>23250870
>Not everyone can do what you do.
Say it louder, bitch

Anons this isn't what I meant :(

>>23250870
>writing about elves is exploiting the worst aspects of humanity
Average pseud LOL, im fucking dead. can't make this shit up

>>23250849
Litfic: your prolific spite and seething in these threads potentially means that you, too, may one day actually write a complete story, possibly with a beginning, middle and end. one day you will be able to post your work. that day may not be today, but you have that potential inside you
genrechads: you have ascended above the worst impulses of worldbuilder general and have actually put words to paper. even if it's only a mile wide and an inch deep, you have produced something, and something is always better than nothing

I want to write but I've created such a fear of failure in myself that I can't bring myself to do it, despite having nothing but support from those around me. I write synopses but do nothing with them. I hate myself for becoming this person, but I don't know how to get out of this rut. I really have no clue what to do.

All right, here it goes lads.

The tiger
It broke its cage
Yes
YES
The tiger is out

i just got promoted to level 2 seller on fiverr in the writing/editing category, should i expect to make any money or would i be better off on food stamps

I’m chasing an idea right now but I don’t know whether to keep it as a short story or expand it into something with chapters. I’ve thought out a lot of details that something <10 words feels like a waste but I don’t have a strong enough sense of plot for something more than a vignette right now. Obvious advice is to think about it but that’s my problem, I’ve thought about it too much already. I just want to get something on paper for once.

>>23250812
said the corvid to the egret
I regret to inform you
your right to roost is forfeit
but I do not wish to harm you
so vacate these wet premises
and go and find another
said the egret to the corvid
last night I fucked your mother
said the corvid to the egret
you didnt and you couldnt
you dursnt and you dassnt
and you definitely shouldnt
said to the egret to the corvid
then go away and ask her
in shame the craven raven
relocated to nebraska

If you use the word 'corvid' in your writing, feel free to kill yourself :)

>>23251183
Auks and skuA
Shock and Awe
The closest kin of
Auks are skuA

>>23250812
Pseud here. How do I fanservicemaxx like a real slopchad?
All my life I've been a serious and anti-fanservice type person, so now that I've finally decided to write exclusively for money, I have no idea where to start with the fanservice. What do people actually like? What are the fanservice must haves? Romance? Harems? Sex scenes? Torturing hated villains? Just flexing power in general - power fantasies? What are the must haves for a general audience?
My red line: writing goblin girls, orc girls and other shit like that. I can't endure it no matter what.

An exerpt. The ideas a big. The progress is slow. Oh well.

>>23251243
Welcome to Genre Chad life
First let me say that you should still write something you're halfway interested in, because there's almost certainly something in your personal venn diagram of "what I have SOME interest in writing" and "what sells".
If not, writing romance. Smut targeted toward women is definitely the #1 seller. This thread just gets a lot of discussion about web novels (litrpg, cultivation, etc) because it's the male-gaze equivalent
I can give advice on the web serial scene if that's what you've settled on. To answer your actual question, romance, harems, sex scenes, etc is definitely not the best seller. The best selling web novel protagonists are borderline asexual. It's almost pure power fantasy (MC gets strong and beats bad guys up)

>>23251271
its good but too impressionistic for me. I used to be very impressionistic too in an effort to better my prose but sometimes a lamp-post is just a lamp-post

>>23251243
i love goblin girls

>>23251300
No

>>23251283
>If not, writing romance. Smut targeted toward women is definitely the #1 seller.
Oh fuck you're right, I totally didn't realise. My brain automatically ruled that out from consideration since I don't really engage with the things women do. I guess I could do it, but I rarely feel drawn to a romance plot on its own. Typically I like to have romantic subplots to a non-romance story.
>The best selling web novel protagonists are borderline asexual.
Are the Latinx to blame for this too? The conspicuous popularity of DBZ in Latin America may have something to say about this. I've never watched DBZ though and I don't really get the combat autist grinding thing. Honestly the big trouble for me is balancing chaotic protagonists with narratives about politics, social connections, society, belonging, and the careful balance of power. But I don't think most of these actually sell so IDK if I should even be looking at my usual themes.

>>23251300
Hooold! Don't move anon! Stay right there, just like that... it'll be over in a second...

>>23251304
Anon you're sounding kind of schizo with your reply. Just be normal for a second
The 'theme' if you're writing a power fantasy is literally just 'wronged/demeaned/disrespected weak person gets stronger and earns status, letting reader vicariously live through them'. Don't think further than that. Or I guess you can, but definitely keep what I said at the forefront of any given arc.
But yeah romance is definitely far and away the #1 seller, but a schizo pseud on 4chan is definitely not going to be able to write in a woman's perspective sex scene in an appealing way so...yeah maybe stick with web novels

>>23251311
What about catgirls do I have to be executed too

>>23251319
>>23251319
>Anon you're sounding kind of schizo with your reply
What's wrong with being a little schizo?
>The 'theme' if you're writing a power fantasy is literally just 'wronged/demeaned/disrespected weak person gets stronger and earns status, letting reader vicariously live through them'.
Right, that seems pretty straightforward when you put it like that. Maybe I should put stronger grudges in my stories, since my MCs aren't normally big on vengeance.
>But yeah romance is definitely far and away the #1 seller, but a schizo pseud on 4chan is definitely not going to be able to write in a woman's perspective sex scene in an appealing way so...yeah maybe stick with web novels
Don't underestimate me! I actually read that stuff occasionally. Although I don't see myself ever getting motivated to write it.

What a worthless thread.

>>23251332
The 3 "big name" litrpgs making absurd money are Defiance of the Fall, Primal Hunter, and He Who Fights With Monsters and none of them have particularly strong vengeance plots, so I might have misrepresented the situation there. The general plot for each is literally just "semi-average dude isekais into a fantasy world and quickly proves himself competent and rapidly advances in strength".
But the idea is 100% to let the reader live vicariously through an MC who is overpowered in some way, or becomes overpowered
Romance is almost non existent in all 3

>>23251336
so the same as every /wg/ thread since its inception?

>>23251327
Depends on the catgirl. Cat ears? That's okay. A tail? I guess I'll give that a pass. Anything else in addition to that? Straight to the death camp. Sorry anon. I don't make the rules.

>>23251346
perfect I survive the purge

Over the weekend I officially started my novel. I'll either finish it or kill myself, or both. Depends how I feel

>>23251336
this isn't the youtube comment section you basic zoomer faggot. we aren't here to entertain you-- you are part of this, and that was your contribution. great job

>>23251342
Hmmm yeah I don't really get how that can be the case but I can probably do a power fantasy. I tend to overload my characters with bullshit powers anyway. Although in my case my MCs tend to be more like a Machiavelli archetype rather than grugbros. (IDK what the MCs are like in the works you listed.) That should be fine though. But yeah. I guess I've been making the issue more complex than what it needs to be. Although the fact that it seems so simple makes it hard in its own way, since it's more difficult to know exactly what will set you back and what will put you ahead.

>>23251352
Sounds cool, don't kill yourself though. Cheers.

>>23251361
You'll have to read some works in the genre if you want to have any hope of imitating them successfully. If you just write your typical schizo manifesto with a veneer of litrpg slop atop it, you'll be lost in the sea of other slop. Gotta play the game correctly
I do it because I like it, though. Do you really need to write for money?

>>23251342
i've tried so many of these. over a dozen, maybe twice that.
he who fights with monsters and dungeon crawler carl were the only ones that weren't embarrassingly amateur slop. and there's a huge gap between hwfwm and dcc at that.

the last i tried was primal hunter and it was stupid amateur slop.

>>23251377
To be honest, I don't actually like fiction all that much. I prefer to read non-fiction, and even this mainly because life is boring and shit and sucks. But I am probably more able to write fiction than do a 9 to 5.
>Do you really need to write for money?
Assuming my other goofy career ideas crash and burn, as they probably will, yeah. And if this doesn't work out too, I'll probably just starve to death or travel to the Netherlands to get euthanised.

>>23251387
I thought dcc was leagues better than hwfwm though, are you saying the opposite?
DOTF was kinda bad but also kinda enjoyable despite that.
Haven't actually read Primal Hunter, just aware of it. Heard it's the worst, artistically speaking, of the big 3

>>23251387
>>23251342
shit, sorry-- i meant to ask for recommendations based on this.

are there any others that would fall somewhere between hwfwm and dcc?

>>23251396
>I thought dcc was leagues better than hwfwm though
this is what i meant, yea.

i guess i'll try DOTF.

>>23251398
Honestly I haven't read a bunch of litrpg slop. I do read web novels but mostly of the less popular variety which read more like traditional genre novels. I think worm, a practical guide to evil, and the wandering inn are my favorites, but they don't make quite as much money as the pure litrpg slop (though wandering inn does quite nicely for itself iirc, it's up there)

>>23250989

Trying to write some standard fantasy slop as an exercise (not a litrpg) and man, it's really humbling. The worst part is the decision paralysis. There are so many ways to approach the idea or concept you've created that just starting is so fucking hard.

>>23251352
What's it (going to be) about?

>>23251352
me 2. i'm working on a sort of outline draft now. i've come up with some great ideas, i was on a roll. shame that i can't write well.

>>23250812
Just sharing my thoughts lads

A short story of mine, that I worked on for years, just got rejected by a short story competition, a contest that I have been following for years. I've been eagerly waiting for months, anticipating good news of a victory, or at the very least, a shortlist nod. I've been rejected a lot but this was a contest that I really genuinely worked on. The near 7 months of wait for these results put me in a near catatonic state of anxiety because I really genuinely thought I would win. For months, I'd go to sleep dreaming of how my writing career would change because of this one small contest. Alas, that's all gone.

Lol it reminds me of this time that I went on a date with this hot chick just before summer break for uni. I was so into her and hung up on dating her that lost weight and worked out that entire summer, in the hopes that she'd find me even hotter when I get back. Every night, for some reason, id think of all the incredible positives of losing weight, of being more attractive to her. When we all returned for summer, i found out she started dating a dude fatter than me lmao.

In any way, it teaches me a lesson. To not get hung up so much over contests and specific things that lie beyond my sphere of control over a long period of time. Just focus on craft, on reading with thought and intent, on writing, and getting better every single story. At the end of it all, it matters that I write a good story, and that's what I need to work towards. The rest is genuinely secondary.

>>23251593
hope you were writing that whole time.

>>23250812
https://pastebin.com/wfFXNgwn

Started reading The Fantasy Fiction Formula.

How is this as a prologue? I've tried to focus on showing things of the world bit by bit.

>>23251698
>https://pastebin.com/wfFXNgwn
Reads like a screenplay.

>>23251706
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

>>23251675
nah I wasn't (another lesson learned), plus I was searching for a job because I became unemployed

>>23251757
>>23251706
nta but a screenplay makes for a good first draft.

>>23251746
Post your shit here anon, don't be a fucking cuck

>>23251785
Kind of like drawing the basic gesture of figures for drawing?

>>23250812
Green tea with lemon and mint is so fucking based holy FUCK

>be me
>consider yourself a fiction writer, take it very seriously
>1 short story published in 6 years
>only do poetry for fun, don't really give a shit
>5 poems published in 4 years
dafuq

>>23251300
He cute.

>>23251915
No offense intended to your poetry but I do feel they've recently let up a bit on accepting poetry.

Half a dozen of my poems that were unanimously rejected about 6 years ago are all now in some lit mag or another

Please read and rate my very short magical story.

https://files.catbox.moe/fzsuju.txt

Reposting from previous:
I have a hankering to write something that puts certain convictions of mine together to have them play out against or together. Can someone give me some recommended reading that go along these lines (not necessarily all of them, of course):
>the lone wolf dies, the pack survives
>the blade is the law made manifest
>if you dont, nobody will
>the greatest inspiration is a deed done

>>23251698
You need to alert the reader to what's going on a bit better. Like I get what you were trying to set up at the end, but it doesn't actually make sense in the middle when he suddenly starts talking about humans. It would make more sense for him to wonder why his father is talking to him in "common" (and please pick an actual language instead of this D&D shit) and then from that piece together that its to bait the humans waiting in ambush (or just have the humans show up right in that moment, thereby answering that question).

>>23252081
You probably want to pick one (maybe write a series with each volume about a single idea/theme). It also depends what kind of structure you're going for. If it's multi-pov, like ASOIAF or most modern tv shows, you'll want to come up with different conflicting perspectives on the theme and have one character for each perspective. If instead it's more of a traditional single pov book, you can try to create a dilemma around the scene. A situation in which the character is torn between two alternatives which are mutually incompatible. The situation would depend on the genre of course. You could have a legal thriller where the main character is a lone wolf lawyer who has to corral the members of a community into a class action lawsuit against a large corporation or a fantasy adventure where a plucky hero has to collect a band of misfit loners to fight against a power that tyrannizes their community. Once you get the situation down, you just pile on motivation for each alternative of the dilemma. Why is it unacceptable for the lawyer to give up on this lawsuit? Why is unacceptable to keep going?

So I'm certain that I have adult ADD due to the fact that I have extreme difficulty finishing anything beyond short stories. This applies to non-writing endeavors as well. Does anyone else deal with this? Stimulants don't seem to help, amd neither do depressants. I don't have the money to see a doctor or get a prescription. I just want to finish a novel. Any suggestions?

>>23252081
>the lone wolf dies, the pack survives
The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx or Origins and Doctrine of Fascism by Giovanni Gentile.
>the blade is the law made manifest
Maybe some video essays on the French Revolution, you can turn the subtitles on.
>if you dont, nobody will
The Ego and Its Own by Max Stirner.
>the greatest inspiration is a deed done
Oh boy, have you ever heard of Alexander the Great, Justinian the Great. Aurelian who was also great or of the Charles whose name was literally the Great?

I am taking a vacation all of next week to stay home and write.
How do I make the most of this opportunity?

>>23252347
Use the pomodoro method.

>>23252269
I was more thinking of a single group of characters in a survival situation than a legal/crime thriller. I was recently reading on natural disasters that pitted groups of people into dire situations but thought to myself "what if the situation wasnt natural though, what if they were beset upon by someone rather than nature?"
I also have been enjoying some good old Sword/Sorcery stuff like Conan, so why not a tribal setting?
>>23252346
>The Communist Manifesto
stopped reading there, I'm here to write fiction, not delusion.

>>23252352
Sounds great. Blocking my goals has helped me a lot, but I haven't blocked my time in such a way before.

>>23252060
It has an interesting premise but it does open several questions about the nature of her powers or if there even are any supernatural bad guys that she should be fighting instead of doing that? I could see a series of short stories set in this world being nice reads.

>>23251271

Good but a little verbose. I think it could be shortened and still have the same effect it would have on the reader.

>>23251432

Is it more along the lines of Brando Sanderson or Tolkien or Robert Jordan? I kind of wish fantasy would go weird or surreal again instead of the generic farmboy chosen one stuff.

This is from a short story I wrote called the Big Top:

“Who are you? Explain yourself you red-headed devil!” barked the ringmaster, eyeing David suspiciously.
“I’m David James. I was just looking for some shelter. Is that enough explanation?” growled David before starting to turn towards the exit.
“Listen here boy,” barked The Ringmaster, “You’ve got some making up to do. Unless you want me to call the rozzers in?” he threatened.
“What? You wouldn’t. Surely you understand I couldn’t make it out there in the storm?” pleaded David, “You’re not an absolute bastard are you?”
The ringmaster shook his head and scratched his chin.
“No. No, I’m not a bastard Mister James but I am something else. Do you know what that is?”
David stayed silent and eyed the two mountain men who flanked the ringmaster. There was some swelling of sorrow in their eyes but they remained unmoving.
“A businessman!” the Ringmaster boomed, “You saw this place tonight, packed to the rafters with the finest goy all dying to give me their money and see the show. You think you’re better than them hmmm?” he asked, prodding David in the chest, “You are nothing but a no good bum and you MUST pay. Now the only question is how can we square you up?!”

>>23252535
David shook his head and shrugged.
“Well I’ve got no money and I’ve only ever been good at fighting and fucking. I can’t fight so good anymore on account of the old eye and I sure as shit ain’t tagging your ass….so?” he shrugged and raised a cocky eyebrow.
The Ringmaster's eyes lit up.
“Bulk and Chunk, go bring me Fantastico! I’ve got just the thing for a dirty fucker like you David.” whispered the Ringmaster connivingly.
The two men stood in silence as the massive goons trudged backstage and after a few long minutes returned with a Mexican man in a sequined leotard who shimmied and skipped towards them flamboyantly.
“Hola seniors, what is this going on here? Why do you call upon Faggio Fantastico to this boring affair?” he hollered, striking a pose as he came to a stop before David and the Ringmaster.
“Faggio, we’ve finally found you a partner. I know you’ve been traveling and practicing with us, paid your dues putting up the top, cooking then food, servicing our needs. Now it’s your time to shine. Meet your new partner…Dirty Davey!” the Ringmaster explained, throwing over to David, presenting him like a piece of meat to Faggio.
Faggio licked his lips and swayed his way over to David, he eyed him from head to toe.
“Yes. I see the soul of a deviant in this one. Do you do the fucking?” he asked bluntly, David had plowed down on plenty of women but he’d never tasted the forbidden man meat before, “The sweaty fandango, the sausage tube shuffle, the drill and pump?!” Faggio pressed.
“Oh, I’ve done plenty of the fucking and I’m good too.” David replied, pushing out his chest.
“Then you’ll do my muscley ginger devil, together we’ll show the world the wonders of the manlove! Rawr!” he growled and then began to laugh.
The Ringmaster laughed too, and then finally Bulk and Chunk. The big top echoed with their fiendish glee as David stood bewildered in the insanity. Whatever he had just gotten himself into there was no going back now.

>>23252060
>Please read and rate my very short magical story.
I don't hate the tone or scenario, but I think you really need to work on your prose. It's very abstract. You need to focus on specific, concrete moments and chain them together in a way which gives a sense of momentum. You tend to bundle events together into blocks which happen over a span of time.

>>Her heart is racing
You are describing an ongoing state of being, not a specific moment. You need to write a sequence of individual events, not spans of time. Some abstraction is fine, but your writing has no punch because all events trickle out at the same time.

>>as she tries her hardest to listen to what the teacher is saying,
General judgements about her motivation. Not the end of the world but since you are using it to modify a phrase which is already abstract, it makes my attention dissolve further.

>>but it's all in vain.
And you've lost me.

Don't get discouraged. This problem is fixable, but you really need to work on grounding the reader in specific moments and structuring your paragraphs around the way they flow into each other.

Here's my short story. Quasi-erotica. Here's my literotica account if you like it. https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=6794553&page=submissions
Please give me your thoughts, or just a rating out of ten.

Relay

A self-identified mediocre woman posted one of her sex fantasies anonymously on the internet. I read it. A few months went by and her words stayed with me. I decided to retell the story from memory and expand it a bit. Here it is.

“My boyfriend in this fantasy, who has male model-level good looks, is being hit on by an extremely attractive woman. Let’s say the extremely attractive woman is also a movie star. Scarlett Johannsen, to pick one example. And he’s not interested at all. The woman is asking him questions like “Do you work out?” and “Do you like to dance?” and he is not taking the bait whatsoever. Brushing her off with polite but brief answers. He’s so disinterested he might not even realize she’s hitting on him, because he doesn’t even register her as a potential mate. And eventually she asks him if he’s seeing anyone, and he starts gushing about me. Talking about how I’m his soulmate, and the most amazing woman in the world, and he’d trek from Toronto to Chile on foot to be with me, leaping across the Panama Canal in a single bound, etcetera. And then I walk into the cafe or wherever this conversation is taking place and we kiss passionately.
Or to take the scenario even further, this extremely beautiful, high status woman and my extremely handsome boyfriend are in a room together, and they’re both naked, and she’s trying to have sex with him, and he’s not interested, even when she goes down on him. But he doesn’t even have to push her off him, because he’s so disinterested that his cock is completely flaccid.
And then I walk into the room and he sees me and is immediately hard, and he swiftly pushes the other woman to the side and we start going at it. And to him it’s a far more desirable opportunity to lick my navel than to get a blowjob from a famously attractive movie star. And the other woman isn’t angry necessarily, but she is very surprised and confused.”

The question, of course, is why does the woman whose sex fantasy this is consider herself mediocre? What are her self-perceived flaws? Is she, perhaps, chubby? As if such a thing was that much of an obstacle to finding a worthy boyfriend, in this day and age. Do her eyes sit abnormally on her face in a way that society has not yet learned to appreciate? Is it that she lacks the time or discipline to spend the requisite hour and a half a day on hair and skin care or however ridiculously long it takes in this horrifically advanced era of grooming standards? As if God was imposing a daily tax just for the crime of being alive?

>>23252576
This isn't a story. This is barely even an interesting thought. All you did was abstract the plot of every romance novel and then try and pretend that there was any deep significance to what is essentially female pornography. What annoys me about this isn't necessarily even the banality of it, but the sheer inauthenticity. The best writing is vulnerable. This is remote and faceless.

>>23252631
I hear you.

>>23235367
posting here cause i feel is more fitting.
I am brainstorming a story, idk about length.
It's a hard scifi story, but my main inspiration is stuff like dune and there is this korean movie translated "high heels" in my language i can't figure out name in english but it's good and topical and an inspiration that it can be done.
Setting itself is somewhere around 2600, in a small, distant from the center of the world, town of 10,000 on the periphery of the territory under the control biggest city on the planet, on the shores of a great lake, flanked by forest and hills. it's a relatively primitive technologically society, lack of manufacture for puritanical reasons (except on the other side of the planet, where the commies are) and most of it is made with traditional methods and architecture, a world of stone homes, giant cathedrals and temple-topped pyramids, small chappels, churches and temples. Large
It's about a boy who is taken to the temple to be part of the local ladyboy cult, he is castrated and given a strange substance, the substance itself is the juice (sap?) from some alien tree, refined through the centuries to be very potent. It produces very vivid halucinations and visions, especially for those psychologically inclined to it, but it contains an excess of female hormones, which if ingested by a woman will kill her, and a man will eventually lose his manhood.
The ladyboys give their manhood to the virgin mary so they may hear her words and so that they may give sacrifice for the divine to take pity on the mortal. It's about suffering for others, sacrificing their mahood and humiliation rituals for heavenly boons. They get on their knees and publicly cry when it rains, when the soldiers are leaving, in the story each ladyboy has his own reasoning but it's mostly about desiring to be normal like them, one line is
>i could have already died in war by now...
and on days like easter they weep for christ our lord.
It's mostly about the feeling of being emasculated, limited in what you can do, where you can go, about being a spectacle for the world, about suffering and desire to be normal, and sometimes i can feel rather dysmorphic and i want to relay the feeling of being too effeminate, in this case the ladyboys being literal perfect women on the outside, with part of the first scene i just dedicate to describing the main character getting dressed, staring in the mirror and contemplating his place in the world and his present circumstance.
The story itself is about the main characters perspective on his world being conquered, with him being chosen as a young boy by the "nuns" (this case actual women) because he had dreams about the lake and about the virgin mary, which they keep in a large registar in the temple. The story itself starts with him waking up and getting ready and the first part is about the normal routine of his life and about him and the other 11 ladyboys and their relationship with each other and the world...

>>23252669
- the term you are looking for is 'eunuch'. research the history of this practice.
- you may want to take the time to learn about story structure, outlining, etc.
- take meds

>>23252231
Hmm I did have him ask his son if he remembered the plan. But I think I can make it clearer like
>Your Common/whatever is good right?
I guess I can also have him reassure himself that it's all part of the plan

>>23252728
>- take meds
rude
I am just a thinker and a twink, i just meant i feel detatched from myself, it's simply different being a skinny manlet, man. Don't care if it makes me look or sound like a faggot.
- you may want to take the time to learn about story structure, outlining, etc.
actively reading up on it and taking notes from books i am reading and stories in general. I will take my time, i am not posting cringe for nothing, i am very open to ideas.
>- the term you are looking for is 'eunuch'. research the history of this practice.
Yes, thanks, couldn't remember it. I am very knowledgable on the subject and cultural practices similar to what i have described, i am reading back more to be safe.
I had a whole second post written idk don't like it much, Mostly just about schizo space birds behind the icons and ritual halucinations and about not having agency in life and being forced into that position for "the greater good" and about the relationship between the eunuchs and their city and the world just happening around the protagonist and him having agency only when the army from earth arrives and he betrays his people to finally have some freedom in life and to make his own choices outside of the system which scarred him forever, made him a spectacle and made him dependent on the temple and the juice.

>>23252576
>https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=6794553&page=submissions
can't tell if intentionally avant-garde, or what. not sure how i'd rate. the writing isn't good, but is that the point? whatever, it's at least neat

>>23252576
its just low self esteem bro

>>23252923
>>23252576
my friend once told me over beers that his gf (who was hot af) was deathly afraid he would cheat on her with someone "nerdy and with glasses" (i.e. someone less attractive)

all women have their own insecurities and self esteem issues. it simply manifests more individual, more unique ways

>>23250995
Based 6-year old meme poster!

I got in 3 pages A6 today. I'm tired. Tomorrow's another day.

>>23250812
How to write a convincing and interesting chapter where the character talks to herself in a locked bedroom all day?

I posted the opening of the chapter in an old /wg/ and although there was some good feedback on it, some people wanted a bit more narrative weight and action.

I want to show the MC's mental state a la watching a train wreck of a person cope with a bad breakup and I was thinking of having her sort of monologue aloud but I think that's a bit cliche? Especially if her dialogue is like she's speaking to another person and is very dramatic and theatrical. But I also think it's in her character to do so. I want her to eventually masturbate to her reflection because she's thinking about fucking her soul-clone, which she was doing before her ex took her away out of jealousy (her ex managed some VR-esque technology that allowed for artificial replicas of the human soul to exist and inside them, a person can heal via speaking to a copy of their soul)

The point is that the following chapter will be her meeting her roommate after going to the bathroom and then looking at herself in the mirror by accident and feeling intense disgust and shame. So the first chapter has a reason to exist, but I want it to be just her in a room being crazy and horny and shit. This is also juxtaposed to other characters who have their own POV chapters and are doing more active things. This MC is supposed to be this big mercenary but she's moping and shit so the irony works.

>>23252576
I'm not sure as to why you're singing about the perils of not so fair maidens and their fleeting self-esteem when it's literally as simple as her being objectively mediocre or even below average.
This fantasy is entirely predicated on her getting something that she knows is unreachable because she's inferior to her competition. This is the plot of your average feels good romance/erotica story targeted at women that features your goody two shoes girl next door that's somehow hotter than the hot chicks and gets the hot guy that falls in love with her because she's not like the other girls. There's also the added undertones that she enjoys sexually humiliating these women and probably prefers subservient men.

>>23253255
>How to write a convincing and interesting chapter where the character talks to herself
read beckett

>>23253315
Anything in particular showing characters talking aloud to themselves?

Daily reminder that "literary fiction" is just the drama genre.

When writing a middle grade fantasy novel are tropes and cliches super important to avoid? Or do kids tend to be more accepting?

>>23253392
They don't even know what a trope/cliche is.

>>23253335
molloy
tho its technically internal

What is the best book in the pastebin? Or is it all just schizo incel slop?

>>23251228
this is really fun

I currently have four protagonists
>Three dudes, including the MC
>One girl, useful but in a support kinda way (no hanky panky I swear)
Can I fit a second girl or is five viewpoints characters starting to feel too crowded?

>>23253392
What >>23253465 said, but some do in the way you would recognize an Aarne-Thompsen story or a mystery plot you've seen in another show. Some things are outright cliche to the point they've been lambasted in everything a child would have come across. Most of them like recognizing it, if it's that obvious, and having it called out, if it's that lame.

DWJ said that they notice things adults don't, so you can be pretty subtle with any mystery, even if it's an old one. They're a different kind of critical reader.

>>23252784
Do you want to say more about what makes the writing not good, in terms of what is missing from it or bad about it?

Why is it so hard to find readers?

>>23251271

you probably don't want to hear this but it's purple and cringey. don't even know what advice to give you.

>>23253673
>retards don't read
>those who do read have their own concept of quality and will drop your entire book after a paragraph's worth of text at best, your stupid title at worst
>the readers who know and appreciate what your quality is rely on simply their reading as being all the validation you need as no use commenting on what works

>>23251271
Get to the point already

Any other anons trying to write a satire about modern society?

>>23253834
I don't read more than 72 characters per line, keep that in mind if you want to be read and learn about fancier screenshotting scripts and techniques.

>>23253870
fair enough but im ratted so idk how to do that

3:40h.
1700 words.
I'm thinking based enough for a night typing.

>>23253686
>retards don't read
Retards do most of the reading, you dumb or something? Have you seen the romance trash they put at the front of the book store? Or how many clicks web novels get?

>>23253486
why not read the previews on amazon, and make your own decision? or are you a sheep?

>>23253678
Nope, that was what I wanted to hear. Thank you!

>>23254379
Because someone can write an amazing synopsis but the story is complete shit, and vise versa

>>23255408
synopsis? i said the preview, i.e. the actual text of the book. are you sure you're literate enough to read books?

Are Mary Sues a thing because the moment you have an action scene where a woman loses people make derogatory comments about the writing engaging in misogyny and fetishism? How do you avoid that? Other than making all of the women invincible goddesses while men have to take a beating.
Or maybe the people in my writing group are just a bunch of pussy assed faggots.

>>23255882
Post your work and I'll tell you.

>>23255882
Make sure the woman is trained somehow, whether that's military training or some form of martial arts. But keep in mind that training doesn't fully justify her winning all on its own, it just helps. Next, have her be more nimble, quicker, or more dexterous than her opponent and have her use that to her advantage. Finally, and this one isn't as necessary as the last two points, maybe give her a small weapon like brass knuckles or a baton of some sort.

>>23255882
>Or maybe the people in my writing group are just a bunch of pussy assed faggots.
Probably this
At the same time are all of your men characters competent and only your female characters make mistakes (especially obvious or dumb ones)?

>>23255882
I saw a video about this once, but you basically can't show a female character losing to a male character or else you'll get shit for it, whether this affects you or not is up to you

>>23255994
Also, who her opponent is matters. A female, military trained soldier who is very quick on her feet will handle a random drunk dude much quicker and more efficiently than, say, police or enemy special forces.

>>23253673
Probably because your book a shit.
Why is it so hard to find good novels to read?
Doesn't help you can't filter well on webnovel.

>>23255882
Did people complain about the movie Sicario?

>>23251432
stop thinking about your faggy concepts and write a scene. the "concepts" exist to enable entertaining writing on the page, not the other way around. think of a scene, write it, think of a scene that follows logically, repeat. concepts will emerge.

>>23256229
But what about developing my magic system?

>>23256229
Not that guy, but I tried that and I didn't work out for me. Wrote about 20 pages and just stopped. Now I'm building a full skeleton before trying again.

How do you decide a character’s pronouns?

>>23255822
Same can be said for the first chapters then it can all fall apart

>>23255882
Yes. I had a girl use her sexuality to kill a man because it made sense, but a woman got offended and said I was writing erotica and smut.

>>23256307
Your magic system already exists. For it to be developed, you need to write it out and transform the magical universal magic energy idea beams into paragraphs on paper. That's the role of the writer.

>>23256373
I'd say, gender the pronouns based on biological sex, if that's not possible, then based on grammatical gender.

>>23256428
...which means neuter, which means the character is likely to be a chair or a piece of moss. But even mosses have a biological sex (Wall Kimmerer, R. 2019?).

>>23256373
What anon said.

>>23256691
Oops.

My brain is trying to convince me that before I write a single word of turn-your-brain-off tier fiction I need to study the Trivium and philosophy and psychology and read the entire western canon and [...] because without these preliminary steps I have no chance of succeeding at anything.
Is this what autism feels like?

>>23256829
Unironically that's just an advanced, circuitous kind of laziness. Just commit yourself to the specifics of the task at hand.

>>23256829
Most of it is autism yeah but you really do need to read other turn-your-brain-off tier fiction to be good at writing your own. Have to know the tropes and general feel of such stories to be able to imitate it

>>23256829
Procrasturbation. you have nothing you want to write about.

>>23256836
>>23256851
Yeah, that's reasonable. Weird I didn't think of it this way before, thanks.
>>23256848
Last thing I read was Spice and Wolf, I enjoyed it even if some of the economics-related parts have flown over my peanut brain.

>>23256389
you're literally asking anons for their opinions of /lit/ books instead of checking amazon reviews or reading the text itself. why do you consider anons to be more credible?

>'hey writing sounds interesting, I'll check it out'
>sit for 15 minutes in front of a blank screen
>delete the 3 sentences I managed to write in that time period out of shame and consider self-immolation
My mind is suprisingly empty, I really need to read more...

>>23257286
no, you need to experience life more. get out of the room in your mommy's house where you grew up and go live life.

>>23251593
please post it here so we can have a look. and iktf anon: you write what you know is great, clearly publishable, but then it suffers rejection after rejection. fuck them. throw it in the pile for your short story collection and feed them something new until they're enlightened

>>23256441
The fuck are you babbling?

>>23256423
Yes but to tell a good story I need to know at what level the main character learns Fireblast 2.

I'm currently writing inspired by crime and punishment and notes from london underground
An 18 year old strangles someone with a rosary
There's a lengthy and detailed sex scene with an old woman in her 80s

>>23251271
My advice is that you're getting good prose practice but to instead write something really concrete and straightforward. Maybe even literally try to do a novella Hemingway impression. Maybe read more as well. I think it's an issue that what you think you care about is not actually what basically anyone would want to read - probably not you either.

>>23252315
Look up Digital Minimalism, 99% who struggle with stuff like this just use the internet too much

>>23257626
easily debunked; but, i'm sure you'd love this to be true, like you have any sort of advantage for being basic.

>>23257626
all fun and games until you get in with a group of hooligans at 16 and now every story needs a scene where the protagonist stands still like a terrified animal once the danger finally arrives.

>>23252315
ADD/ADHD/ETC is a fucking meme. You're undisciplined, simple as that. Nobody is born focused and disciplined. You have to put actual effort into learning self-control and concentration. Modern society and failed parents let their kids grow up without teaching them such basic life skills. But thankfully, hope is not lost! You can learn at any point of your life. All you need to do is CHOOSE and TRY.

>>23258511
i know actual diagnosed since childhood adhd people who have this "give up" mindset and then people diagnosed at like 20 or something who just learned how to work, not even despite their adhd, but using it to their advantage. Self-fulfilling prohpecy is real.

someone people are pumped full of cum ONE TIME and they immediately think they have some sort of unique insight to share with the world.

>>23252315
start smoking crack

>>23258520
You described pregnancy.

An exercise, based on a chat gpt prompt

>>23258706
the prompt(s)

>>23258706
>>23258708
Please take your AI garbage and shove it up your ass

>>23258718
What's wrong with using chat gpt for a prompt? When I have someone physically with me, I ask them for something similar. In this case, I was alone, so I asked chat gpt two questions and used the response as a prompt. What I wrote was written by me, not chat gpt. I just used ai to get a random prompt. What's wrong with that?

>>23258503
basic? i have something to actually write about, based on living life and having actual interactions with actual human beings. meanwhile, you can write some anime shit based on anime you've consoomed. gosh, how interesting
>>23258507
>terrified animal
found your problem

Anyone like prologues?
https://files.catbox.moe/bqrjom.pdf

>>23250812
First page, probably terrible, but if I never try I can never improve.

It's probably too confusing for anyone here either way.

>>23258750
>i have something to actually write about
oh, yea?
most imply that living life gives you unique perspective, not content to draw from. you've really called yourself out in failing to grasp that; but, fine... give me an example of what you might write about.

or are you just another person who's assumed some authority of creativity after being cummed in?

shit. and even if you were a mother, i'd wager i could write a better story of pregnancy and birth than you ever could.

>>23258780
I didn't properly read it (sorry), but where does the convention of bolding characters' names come from? I've never seen it before.

>>23258780
It's very rough. Usually using narrative exposition in between dialogue is looked down upon. Just keep writing and working with what you're coming up with, it'll get a lot better as you go and you can revise what you started with.

>>23258789
most people here imply that consooming chidren's commercial entertainment media gives them something to write about. you're not setting the bar low enough for this place

>>23258738
Nothing, and that excerpt you wrote from it was actually pretty good. You have to remember that a certain percent of the people here suffer from mental illness and, like your protagonist with his addictions, react reflexively toward certain triggers, like AI, genre fiction, literary fiction, anime, litrpg, discord, reddit etc. As soon as they see something they don't like, they have to post, they have to play out the same cycle of stimulus and response over and over again, because they are a slave to the circuits they've built.

Anyway, my only gripe with your snippet is that it's mostly exposition and preface, but because it's rendered concretely, it's still enjoyable to read. It might work well as the beginning of a short story or short novel but it certainly doesn't constitute a scene in the traditional sense.

>>23258831
you don't have anything on the random indian guy that just delivered my groceries, is what i'm implying.
the stubborn foundation, absence of empathy and lack of understanding don't bode well for you. creatively.
you've just been cummed in, is all.

>>23250812
Test

>>23258780

>>23258812
I guess I wanted to highlight that there are four characters.

>>23258819
I appreciate you at least reading, it but that doesn't give me such direction.
What do you mean by narrative exposition? I feel like narrative exposition is only bad when it's unnatural and "AS YOU KNOW"-type, I feel that this exposition is natural, why do you not think so?

>>23258863
i have no sympathy for the incel NEET shutins that infest 4chan. you don't understand the difference

>>23258899
Empathy =/= sympathy. Don't know how you can write/read fiction and not understand this fundamental difference.

>>23258899
what do you think the demographic here is? maybe you should stick to reddit where being cummed in has its own sub.
might be enjoying that analogy too much

>>23258899
>>23258903
more than that, it's empathy that allows us to write characters that aren't just ourselves. you don't need to be cummed in to write a convincing story about it. (i am addicted now)

>>23258885

>>23258903
i have no empathy for you either. don't know why that wasn't obvious

>>23258913
Right, I thought you meant dialogue.

>>23258876
That's a lot more than I expected, thank you for going through the trouble. My ESL is clearly showing these long sentences, so I didn't even think to shorten them. It gives me a lot to work with.
Though I'm not sure if removing the penultimate paragraph was completely necessary, I guess I want to evoke cause-effect, so if someone hurls a wine glass at you, think it's worth pointing out how you react to it.

>>23258876
>if someone hurls a wine glass at you, think it's worth pointing out how you react to it.
It is, but what you wrote was so bad it had to be cut out of principle. You should replace it with something better.

Is self publishing on Amazon still a viable option for newcomers, or should I look elsewhere? Maybe just give up on self publishing?

>>23258946
Why wouldn't it be? Self publishing is bigger than ever and continues to grow while tradpub is on the decline
Of course, it also depends on what you're writing, which is why vague posters are so fucking obnoxious. If you're writing 'litfic' then obviously nobody is crawling amazon's newly published to look for the next Moby Dick

>>23258935
I get you, how about:
>For a moment Mes wandered in confusion; failing to comprehend the situation. When his mind returned to the room, the atmosphere changed. To reassert control of the situation, he seized the naginata of his retainer and proclaimed:

I'm trying to incorporate blocking and gestures into delivery because it's a bit to just have "A said X, then B said X"

>>23258967

>>23258974
My narration is a third person limited, so what I described is an observation by the protagonist.

>>23258952
>Self publishing is bigger than ever and continues to grow
Which means it's harder and harder to get noticed without a massive social media following and relentless shilling.

Is wanting to write a character enough to start a story? Do you need some plan of why you're writing and what you want to say before hand?

>>23259109
You can see where it goes. It usually ends up aimless unless you start introducing conflict. All I'd say is introduce him through action and reaction and keep biographies limited to what is absolutely necessary. There's a tendency to write about a character instead of writing him.

>>23259139
I do mean writing a character in terms of just throwing them into conflict and things happening where they need to make choices relevant to their character, the things they're good at and bad at and the things they fear and care about. But I don't know like a message or theme yet or an idea of where I want the characters to end up. I'd rather just write the characters and roleplay them and let them fuck up or make their own choices.

>>23259015
So back when literally nobody read self published works, things were better?
Clown
Many genres actually have huge audiences just sorting by new and clicking what interests them. Self publishing has never been easier to do well in
But cope more lmao

>>23259182
STFU Jew shill.

How many characters does an average book have? I don't mean main characters, but just anyone who is named and is part of the story in some way. Excluding doorstoppers and books based on political intrigues that tend to go with a lot of people, I'm leaning between 15 and 20 named one.

>>23259169
Basic characters I want to write are
>Horny seducer bard who is a manipulative hedonist obsessed with possessing beauty and women, extremely selfish, but also extremely talented and skilled at inspiring real loyalty and love by playing the long game and letting himself fall in love with his victims before using them. An absolute Trainwreck of a person that will put himself in danger to chase tail he wants and take extreme risks and sacrifice everything because he NEEDS to chase the woman he wants. The woman is never enough though and ultimately he's empty inside.
Story would involve the character getting themselves in trouble chasing pussy.

>Female priestess of Hell who worships infernal powers because she genuinely believes humanity is evil at heart and that a cruel master is better than a Good and naive master. She believes Good will lose to evil, but she's also just scared of the responsibility of Good. She doesn't trust herself to be good and to actually bring society forward so she doesn't believe in other people either. She accepts infernal rule and worships it because she believes it's the rule she deserves.

>Story would involve infernal politics, her summoning devils and enslaving populations and leading a hell crusade while playing the politico for infernal good boy points.

>Hedonist seducer in a corrupt and decadent fantasy port city, huge disparity between poor and elite. He's a seducer that grows up poor and sneaks his way into high society to seduce and murder extravagant women.
Long form seductions where he hunts women, fucks them, and murders them while spreading his mystery and intrigue and taking on a persona. A woman falls for him and his persona and he ends up trying to juggle his hunger for murder with his love.

>>23259169
It can end up very "dollhouse drama" or like improv comedy but plenty of stories have started from a short story or random scene that was expanded upon until the author figured out what it was about. I think most people keep their themes loose until they're done with the first draft and see what emerges from the work itself. I've got something right now where I know where it's headed because once I wrote a certain character, I knew it was inevitable, but everything between Chapter One and that happening is still a mystery to me. Some fragmentary ideas pan out and have a place, others that I thought were strong ideas that supported my initial premise don't.

>>23259215
Just start writing and see where it goes, you'll probably end up with very different characters by the end. You've got a sandbox, set it in motion.

>>23259231
Do sandboxes really get set into motion? They’re usually in just one place.

>>23259203
Depends on the genre, what are you writing about?

>>23259260
Fantasy crime story in a 1920-ish setting.

>>23259268
Like a mystery novel? 10 characters should be fine.

None of you can write i bet none of you can even read.

>>23259182
>So back when literally nobody read self published works, things were better?
We weren't drowning in a flood of shit then, so yes

how long is too long for an action sequence and is it a bad idea ot end a chapter on one especialty if it makes the chapter long

>>23259310
oh yeah, it was so much better when self-appointed experts decided what was best for us to read. conform, obey, submit!

>>23259370
I think my word choice is bad. Any suggestions?

>>23250812
does anyone actually read the resources and recommendations? Have they actually helped anyone in any way?

>>23259389
Yes. But what helps the most is sitting there writing, reread what you wrote, and figure out if the sentence is exactly what you're trying to convey

>>23259396
The resources and recommendations do not only talk about whether a sentence is exactly what I'm trying to convey. I don't think you talk about sentence structure when you talk about plot structure

>>23259405
Sentences lead to your plot. You need to accurately write each sentence that means exactly what you want to let the overall plot reveal itself.

Even random fragments found in fantasy stories lend itself to the message the writer wishes to convey

>>23259389
no. Pretty much nothing in there is of any value, nor is it something a great writer has read.

>>23259428
sure, but we do not talk about sentences when we talk about whether some plot is good or bad or how it is structured.

Is my plot good?

A romantasy where a hunter needs to kill an all powerful demon but she ends up falling in love with him and causes him to give up his ambitions and change his ways

>>23259451
No, one of them needs to die so that it's not a generic loveshitfest.

>>23259469
Nobody likes sad endings though

>>23258780
2nd draft, hope this is gradually improving

>>23259499
>like
>I'm not feeling wholesome heckin chungus butterflies so I didn't like it
Completely different things. Life isn't made of happy endings and given how fucking prolific those are in fiction, to the point where people unironically think that no one "likes" sad endings, I'd say that's a surefire way of writing something that will make people happy but won't actually leave any impression on them.
There's nothing wrong with happy endings but when that's the default of every single story there's literally zero pressure regardless of whatever drama you can cook up because it's literally guaranteed that it'll go the way the reader wants it to.

>>23259451
Plot is irrelevant, execution is what matters, but for what it's worth that idea would probably be popular with female readers

>>23259609
Once of the better romance novels I've read had a breakup halfway through and was about the aftermath of that and eventual reencounter with the former lover and his new piece. That doesn't normally sell, but flings and relationships that don't quite work out at the time do.

>>23259628
Wow it sounds like you have awful taste.

>>23259653
Tis better to have loved and lost anon. It's about the ride.

>>23259295
can someone tell me what this post says? I can’t read.

>>23259370
>>23259380

>>23259616
>Plot is irrelevant, execution is what matters
This. I did not believe it before watching Twelve Angry Men. The concept is very boring, but the execution is fantastic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJH6YMbCzf8
writerchads this is it

>>23259346
The self-appointed experts were at least able to capitalize their sentences, so yeah.

>>23259808
does she have onlyfans? she is genuinely 10/10 with cute voice and trad clothing

>>23259370
>>23259380
Why is the MC an idiot?

>>23259430
What would offer more value?

>>23259808
That video gave me cancer

I haven't written in ages, but I've had this idea for a story (maybe a very short novel) and I wrote 1 (one!) page. It's a start, I guess.

>>23259853
yes, capitalization is worth living under the thumbs of self-appointed gatekeepers. you just love to beg daddy to shove it in a little deeper, don't you, fucking submissive

>>23259900
he has no idea. he's just seething because everyone here hates him and he has nothing better to do with his time

I'm ESL but seriously considering writing in english, because who the fuck even read anymore in France

What do you guys think of my short story?

Style and theme are difficult for me.

>>23260266
just learn arabic. you'll have more readers in your country

>>23260341
Nah I'll probably just write in english even if I'm incapable of reading an Oscar Wilde novel without a dictionary

>>23260307
It's not badly written but it kind of fizzles out. It's not biting enough to be good satire and it's not funny enough to be a good comedy. I think the problem is that there isn't enough of a dilemma to motivate the story. The ending feels too easy and abrupt.

>>23260467
>it kind of fizzles out
This happens to me in every story. I think I start strong with a cool idea, then I get halfway through and realize I can't develop it further.

I think if you were to read my last 5 stories, you'd recognize the exact same pattern...

Ran out of ideas for my webnovel again lads

>>23251271
These paragraphs are too wobbly and fat.

I have this old draft from years ago I really want to rewrite and show off but the age scares me. What do I do?

>>23260516
Woah, you're me...

>>23260645
Rewrite it

Why shouldn't I "head hop" and tell the readers how my characters are feeling? The humorous juxtaposition between two characters completely misunderstanding what the other is thinking with their inner thoughts fully displayed?

>>23260799
That's called the omniscient point of view and its perfectly fine (though nowadays out of fashion for anything other than the kind of humor you're talking about). Head hopping is when you start with limited pov but suddenly switch to omniscient. It's a fault of inconsistency not category.

>>23260806
I've seen people flip flop on how omniscient is supposed to be presented. Sometimes it should be strictly neutral with absolutely no inner thoughts or monologues shown.

>>23260837
>I've seen people flip flop on how omniscient is supposed to be presented.
Which is why you should look at books instead of listening to people.

>>23260016
Is this one of those generals where all the regulars hate each other and can identify specific targets of this hate by their posting ticks?

Apparently my writing is pretty good I just have no idea how to construct a plot
Shame. I give up.

>>23260837
That's a very modernist take. I think it can be effective and that interiority through inner monologue is overused, but that's some crazy restrictions.

>>23260892
Nah, there's too much turnover because it's a slow boat and easy to fall off and drown along the way. There are just a few trolls who don't write at all and spread FUD.

Can I just take names from the video games and gacha I play?

Listen, chief. Whatever you think you put your dick in, it wasn't her cervix. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume even half of this shit is true. That aside, if you don't have a wire-thin dick that curves upward like a boomerang, you did not put anything into her cervix. Female anatomy does not work that way. Male anatomy does not work that way. It's biologically implausible and almost always geometrically impossible.

First of all, the cervix is tight. I mean really tight. When there's a baby up there, the cervix keeps it from falling out. That's what it's there for. So normally it stays closed up tight. It only opens during labor. It can be dilated for medical procedures but I guarantee you did not do that with your penis, especially with the kind of girth you say you're packing. Forcing it open with such a blunt instrument would have been unbelievably painful both for her and for your alleged thick fat hog.

Second, the cervix is not all the way at the deep end of the vagina. It's before that, on the top side, because the uterus extends forward, in the opposite direction from where your penis is going. Sexual arousal increases the length of the vagina, which only exacerbates this situation. If you don't put something up there at just the right angle, and I do mean "right angle," it's gonna sail clear past her cervix into a spot called the anterior fornix. That's a good place to put your dick, if you can reach it, because it's a major erogenous zone. Pound that spot hard enough and she'll cum her brains out. Maybe that's where you actually put it. I could believe that. But as long as you continue to insist that you filled her up with hard cock and then your cock made a quick U-turn to bore through her cervix and storm the wombcastle, I'll be up here on my soapbox telling the world you're full of shit.

>>23260950
spoken like a lil dick who hasnt ever penetrated a cervix LMAO

>>23260892
one of the regulars is a narcissistic troll and is easily spotted. the upside is that he's too stupid to realize how stupid he is & outs himself constantly

>>23261008
I'm not stupid fuck you

>>23261058
that's not the witty retort you think it is

Please critique the underneath:

"I'll show them", he sobbed, pulling out his little bag. "I'll show them why you shouldn't fuck with a motherfucker on the edge". Deshawn unzipped the bag and took out a glock, letting off two rounds in the middle of the bank. A few of the customers screamed, but most of them were a shocked into silence. DeShawn's tears were gone, replaced by fury of a man scorned

"Aight, all eyes on me. Get yo' asses down on the floor now". the bank floor remained stunned in position with only few lowering themselves and understanding the gravitas of the situation. DeShawn let off another round into the ceiling. This time there were definitely more screams. "Y'all motherfuckers deaf? I said hit the ground. NOW!". The entire room complied, including the tellers.

Deshawn walked between the people, now his defacto hostages, and explained his situation. "I need some money bad. real bad. and dis bitch at the till saying I ain't got shit in my account to git. Now that aint good for a muh'fucker on the edge like me. I got to pay the bills. I gots to feed my kid, ya feel?". He stopped at a black woman with her kid. They were both trembling. He nudged her with one foot. "yo, git up. this shit aint for you sista, you can leave."

She stopped crying and looked back up at him. He nodded back. The woman picked herself off the ground, pulled her daughter over her should and began to walk out of the bank with haste, not even looking back.

"I know none of y'all stopping me from getting my money neither, but she a sister ya feel me. got enough shit on her plate and don't need to be here for what's about to go dow-"

"i'll pay you!" a voice came from the other end of the room. DeShawn ran towards him with his finger on the glock trigger. The voice came from a white man, perhaps mid thirties, built strong and a pair of spectacles that made him look like the bookish type.

"You crazy ass muhfucker piping up in the middle of my monologue, you finna get shot clowning like that my dawg"

"I just took out a $25,000 loan in cash. it's in the briefcase next to me. I don't need it as bad as you champ. Just take it and let us all go. there's no need to hurt anyone."

>>23261079


Deshawn unloaded two bullet right next to the man's head to spook and disorient him. The man didn't even flinch. "we both know dat bish behind the till already pressed one dem red buttons that calls the po-leese down 'chea. This aint about no money no mo' foo'. It's about how I HAD no money, and you rich ass white muh fuckers don't give one damn about my black ass. Now you gotta pay with yo lives".

"I'm giving a damn aren't I?" asked the man.

"bitch, get yo ass up," Deshawn demanded. The man stood up and it became apparent that his huge size was more impressive than deshawn had first realised. His shoulders were wide, his thigh's strong and his forearms bulky. even his gaudy oversized suit couldn't hide that. his terrible posture neither. He was built like the child of a linebacker and a gorilla. "Damn, son. you big. Shame I got this glock and you ain't got shit". The man didn't take the bait and give DeShawn a reason to send his ass to the next the life with a bullet between those poindexter ass glasses. "You a christian or some shit?"

"Yessir," the man started, "but it's not my Christianity on show just plain human decency. Believe me, you want to take the deal I'm offering to you. take the money and go. the Police is still about 5 minutes away. You'll have enough time to make a getaway."

"bitch you looking to get yo ass capped first hollerin at me about what I need to do?" Deshawn raised his glock up to the man's face. He was still completely calm and undisturbed which in turn disturbed Deshawn. how much fucked up shit could this guy have seen to not freak the fuck out with a gun in his face. the truth of the matter is that the deal he was offering was better than what deshawn had planned- to go out with a bang. with $25,000 he could make a real positive change in his life. Yet something about having this second chance at life being offered to him by the same type of rich ass white guy rubbed him the wrong way. Who was he to act so benevolent to him. Deshawn had the gun, he had the all the power. not this preppy ass looking white boi.

"aight bitch listen to this. you aint giving me that briefcase full of money- I is taking it. and you know what, give me yo wallet too fuck face. Imma really fuck up your day". The man handed him his wallet and the briefcase too. Deshawn pulled it open and like the man had said it was full of cash. Deshawn walked towards the door with a smile on his face, filing through the man's wallet and stuffing the 50's into his back pocket.

>>23261085
>>23261079


he got to the door and still nothing from the man. he just stood there like a statue. no outburst, no anger. nothing. He had just been fleeced of all monetary value on his persons and he still stood there motionless, letting Deshawn make an exit. This made him more angry then when the bank teller had denied him an overdraft withdrawal. He pulled the man's drivers license out his wallet and looked at the name; Clark kent.

Deshawn looked back up at the man. "Hey, aint you that Daily planet reporter?" he asked. Clark nodded. "Well you about to make front page news bitch". Deshawn unloaded the rest of his clip as everyone on the floor screamed. The bullets had no effect. not a scratch on him. But one of the bullets had ricoched into the head of a nearby woman, a pool of blood collecting around her. Deshawn couldn't believe his eyes. He kept pulling the trigger again and again but nothing else came out.

Clark pulled down his glasses and placed them into his suit pocket calmly. He looked back up at deshawn and his eyes were glowed red hot.

I can't describe what's wrong with this character intro; the unsettling air might be there(if passing into pompous,) but there's something else that I don't have basic knowledge to detect.

>>23261093
I have a hard time creating a picture in my mind of what she looks like. I think it’s too many details and not enough vibe, if that makes sense.

Simple and purple can both be pulled off prose style depending on the writer's skill to what level of quality it is. I'm a lazy reader, so I prefer simple prose thats functional to read and I write that way too, although I am but a hobbyist and won't compare it to real published work in that sense.

>>23260341
Kek.

>>23260266
I'm french and there's always tons of people in my local libraries.
Maybe just write the book in french first and if it doesn't work out translate it in english and try your luck again. You probably will need someone native to make the final pass to check your ESL level, but it's got to be cheaper than having someone actually translate your book start to finish.

>>23261093

Compare that gay story in the post above yours to what you wrote.

His writing is simple and easy to understand, albeit gay. I can picture everything in the story despite it being shit.

Yours is not written better and I have no idea what to imagine in my head after reading those words.

'oblong bun'? nigguh what?

>Thought about a cool worldbuilding concept to add fluff to the book
>Figured out a satisfying resolution to some plot threads
>Picked surnames for most characters so I can stop referring to them as "that dude" in my notes
>Color-coded the spreadsheet I use to think about the plot
All in all, a productive saturday. Did I actually write something? A-ahah why would I do that?

>>23261177
One of those almost pill-shaped ones that looks pencil-made. Wanted to say that, but didn't think she'd make it with a pencil, probably a branch or broken piece of tennis racket.

>>23261219
pencil-made? no. hairstick. HELD with. and a broken piece of tennis racket? i understand what you're trying to do, but... where to begin.
writing is largely working with expectations, and you are operating outside the normal wavelength my dude.

>>23261219
try writing about the impression she makes rather than specifically what she looks like.

finished what had ballooned from a maybe 4k word chapter into a 5k+ one. I know what the next scene is and now I just need to write a couple lines of that before passing out so I can better imagine how things are going to proceed. hope everyone is making progress

>>23261200
me 2

>>23261058
don't impersonate me poser

Assuming I have the money, what's the most I should pay for a script consultation.

>>23262595
You should never pay, someone who wants your work but wants it to be doctored up by a script wizards should pay.

>>23262605
>someone who wants your work
There lies the problem

>>23262595
ill read your script. i might even have feedback

Is it feasible to win a war without hurting your enemy?

What authors would you say are an obvious influence on my writing style?

does anyone here actually outline? How do you do that? Does it help?

>>23262670
Outlining is lame. It removes the spontaneity of writing in the now and leaves things feeling mechanical and lifeless. Embrace the pantsing! All the best authors have done it.

>>23262664
Yes.

Just pay them to leave.

>>23262670
>>23262676
outlining is essential and almost all authors do it. pantsing success is survivor bias-- you need to have inherent disposition for writing that meets certain expectations.

>>23262684
well, then how does one outline?

>>23262684
And almost all of them will warn you not to overcook an outline. It leads to stagnant, formulaic work that hits the mark like an actor at an amusement park doing 5 shows a day.

>>23262670
I just follow a traditional screenplay 3-act structure for now. Strong opening, major plo point around the 20 minute mark. Middle act full of drama. And then a final plot plot leading into the third act. Of course I break this but it is helpful

>>23262706
What does "overcooking" means, in this context? Because I imagine knowing what everyone is going to do chapter to chapter is helpful. But I guess you shouldn't be afraid to go beyond the outline if you want.

>>23262684
>pantsing success is survivor bias-- you need to have inherent disposition for writing that meets certain expectations.
whether it's "inherent" is debatable but outlining is a waste of time either way. if you believe storytelling is a talent you have to be born with, and you don't have it, why even be a storyteller? leave it to people born with the talent. if on the other hand you think spontaneous storytelling is a skill you can learn then outlining is only robbing you of the opportunity to develop that ability. there's something basically cowardly about it, it's a way to avoid putting yourself to the test and perhaps failing it, like most of this gay "aspiring writer" internet culture. it's not actually good advice for people serious about writing, it's just good for keeping cowards in a state of comfortable mediocrity

>>23262737
>Storytelling
>Spontaneous storytelling
Not the same thing at all faggot, and no. matter which one you pick your post makes no sense.

I finished my draft of chapter 24.

>>23262670
just steal the plot of another story, myth, or fairytale and translate it into contemporary times or another genre or whatever. nobody cares about plot, they care about characters and how the book makes them feel.

>>23262733
Detail, having everything planned out on nearly a paragraph level. Having the whole thing ready to go in one shot instead of leaving gaps for it to develop as it is written. One big name asshole said he wrote an outline just to ignore it and do something else, I think there's truth in that half joke.

As many write, as opposed to plan or "worldbuild", the imagined world changes with the text being produced because there is some kind of unconscious sense of the story. An ongoing or formulaic work works well with an outline, but the novel is rarely beholden to that kind of structure, and if it is, only in the most rudimentary way. I think puzzle boxes require more planning, but that's the realm of the mystery author or one working on a later novel, someone who has the basics worked out by rote.

It's likely that we're talking at cross purposes and the truth is somewhere in between. The reality is probably that planners have more in their head ready for the page, while the pantsers outline as they go and build a structure once they have most of the elements in place.

>>23262737
ok, but we can assume that anon was asking for advice not something you've just made up.

>>23262768
>steal the plot of another story, myth, or fairytale and translate it into contemporary times or another genre or whatever

Here's CHATgpts output for that. THink you might have a futre in producing goyslop

In a futuristic metropolis where virtual reality reigns supreme, Cinderella is not a servant girl, but an exceptionally skilled hacker living in the lower levels of the city. Her stepmother, a powerful corporate executive, controls access to the most advanced virtual reality technology.

Cinderella's life revolves around her virtual escapades, where she can be anyone she wants to be, far removed from her dreary reality. But when her stepmother confiscates her VR headset and bans her from accessing the virtual world, Cinderella's world comes crashing down.

Amidst this turmoil, a prestigious virtual reality gaming tournament is announced, with the winner earning a coveted internship at the leading tech company. Cinderella's stepsisters, also skilled hackers, prepare to compete, while Cinderella is left behind, her dreams shattered.

With the help of her tech-savvy fairy godmother, a mysterious figure she encounters online, Cinderella manages to access the tournament under a secret alias. As "Cindy," she dazzles the competition with her unparalleled skills, catching the eye of the tournament's organizer, a brilliant but reclusive tech prodigy.

When midnight strikes and the tournament ends, Cinderella rushes to log off before her true identity is revealed. But in her haste, she leaves behind a trace of her real self.

The next day, the tech prodigy launches a search for the elusive "Cindy," determined to uncover her identity. Meanwhile, Cinderella's stepmother grows suspicious of her sudden disappearance during the tournament.

In a thrilling climax, Cinderella's true identity is exposed, but instead of facing punishment, she earns the respect of the tech prodigy and secures a position at his company. With her stepmother's control shattered, Cinderella embraces her newfound freedom, no longer confined to the virtual world but empowered to shape her own destiny in both the digital and real realms.

>>23262752
they're both referring to the same thing, ie the "disposition" proposed in the quote. why would you write if you lack the "disposition" for it? in any case the selfhelp strategies popular among wannabe writers are not about replacing that disposition - it cannot be replaced - but about letting people avoid finding out if they have it or not, so they can keep on daydreaming in peace.

>>23262779
yeah, and the advice is: stop being a little bitch and put yourself to a test in which failure is possible

>>23262787
kino

>>23262773
Stories are presented in images and the author tries to sew them together.
>>23262787
This is an exciting plot centered around women in tech. It could be improved if the tech prodigy was a man who transitioned to a female and that all of her sisters are different races. With these changes you will have a best seller on your hands.

>>23262787
there are many stories way less famous than Cinderella you could adapt where most readers wouldn’t even know they aren’t reading an original story. but something like this could work too if you write it well.

>>23262810
>This is an exciting plot centered around women in tech. It could be improved if the tech prodigy was a man who transitioned to a female and that all of her sisters are different races. With these changes you will have a best seller on your hands.
Certainly, incorporating diversity and inclusivity into the narrative can enhance its richness and resonance. Let's integrate those suggestions into the plot:

I finished a new chapter just now and feel like a million bucks.

>>23262796
>>23262791
as i said, most authors outline. but you can go off about nothing.

>>23262818
Do what everyone else has done for a few thousand years and rip off greek drama

In the bustling metropolis of New Olympus on Mars, a gripping crime drama unfolds in "Martian Tragedy: The Orestia Chronicles." The story revolves around the Atreides family, a powerful dynasty torn apart by betrayal, vengeance, and the pursuit of justice.

At the heart of the drama is the enigmatic figure of Orestes, a young and troubled individual haunted by the specter of his father's murder. Agamemnon, a prominent Martian politician, is brutally slain upon his return from a successful campaign against a rival faction, leaving his family shattered and seeking retribution.

Orestes, driven by a thirst for vengeance and a sense of duty to his family, embarks on a mission to uncover the truth behind his father's death. With the help of his resourceful sister, Electra, and the guidance of the wise and cunning mentor figure, Athena, Orestes navigates through the treacherous underworld of Martian politics and corruption.

As Orestes delves deeper into the dark secrets of New Olympus, he discovers a web of deceit and betrayal that stretches back generations. Betrayed by those closest to him and haunted by the ghost of his father, Orestes finds himself torn between his thirst for justice and the weight of his own conscience.

The drama reaches its climax in a gripping courtroom showdown, where Orestes stands trial for the murder of his mother, Clytemnestra, who had orchestrated Agamemnon's death. With the fate of the Atreides family hanging in the balance, Orestes must confront the demons of his past and make a decision that will shape the future of Martian society.

"Martian Tragedy: The Orestia Chronicles" is a riveting tale of power, betrayal, and redemption set against the backdrop of a futuristic Martian society. As Orestes grapples with the complexities of justice and morality, audiences are taken on a thrilling journey through the depths of the human psyche in a world where the line between right and wrong is constantly blurred.

>>23262791
You're going to have to write a better outline to your next post if you're going to move the goalpost that hard.

>>23262827
Good going!

In my opinion writing "off-the-cuff" actually inhibits the spontaneity of ideas when writing. You get slogged down trying to write from A to B when you're already getting ideas for B to C and C to D. An outline gives you the opportunity to write these ideas down while they're still fresh. Of course the definition of what an outline differs from person to person. An outline where you bureaucratically and rigidly detail things down to the chapter level probably is confining.

>>23262827
Based

a few notable (detailed) outliners you may have heard of:
>dostoevsky
>joyce
>tolstoy
>poe
>twain

>>23262855
>>23262859
You guys are alright, I hope you do well in your own efforts

>>23262827
Wait til you finish the new chapter that lets you finish all the not quite finished old chapters. That's grounds for taking a day off an celebrating.

I think I'm going to have to write a song or a poem for the last part of my story.
I'm splitting the story in parts with in-universe documents inbetween, so far I have
>A recording of a lecture
>A newspaper article
>An act in a play
>An pagan prayerbook
>A song/poem

I don't know how to get out of it, I can't flunk it and just do a couple lines either, I need to do it for at least a couple pages. Any idea on what else I could use?

>>23262888
Bathroom graffiti. Pompeii graffiti.

>>23262881
I think I'm going to move to chapter 5 now. Chapter 5 has been hanging around for a while in an unfinished state.

>>23262888
The most obvious thing would be someone's journal but>>23262894
sounds much more fun

>>23262894
It's going to be thematically hard to put them in the climax but I'll take it into consideration.

>>23262901
>The one who buggers a fire burns his dick
That's climax material

>>23262917
For me it was the guy who made bread.

>>23262670
outlining is one of many techniques that's appropriate based on your judgment

>>23250812
3rd draft reached 500 words (miles for me)
× 15 times more and it will technically be a novelette
I don't expect anyone to read these, but posting them here keeps me motivated.

>>23262787
>the underdog's dream is internship at a big company
You can tell a machine came up with this. I could've guessed a Korean too, but the same thing

>>23263073
I just hope this isn’t page one of your story because I have no idea who is who in this. It also needs some basic proofreading and spellchecking.

>>23263073
i would keep going, but with the intention for more drafts once you've got your story. there's a lot you could do to improve this, but it'd help if you came back to it later. once you're warmed up

>>23263139
It's meant to be the first page. I only have three characters. I didn't give an introduction, because I didn't believe it to be necessary. Anything essential should be ably inferred. What these characters look like isn't really important.

>It also needs some basic proofreading and spellchecking.
What do you mean? Grammer does not detect any misspellings.

>>23263152
I'm not convinced I create anything good so, if I can't even write something engaging for the first page, there is no point in continuing this project.

>>23263237
>Grammer
*Grammerly

>>23263237
>I'm not convinced I create anything good
not yet, but most everyone on /wg/ knows they have no choice but to eat shit and fail, until they don't
>there is no point in continuing this project.
i scrap stuff all the time, best not to get hung up on anything. if the idea is still haunting you after you work on something else, revisit it
otherwise it probably wasnt meant to be
still, id suggest trying to finish this

I got hit with a rejection letter and I feel like kmsing myself

It's the self publish life for me

>>23263273
Wait until the other 5 come in first. You want to be absolutely sure.

>>23263273
Some authors got hit by rejections letters for years and got published anyway. They just sent the same book round and round again.

Reminder that no one ITT will ever write a passage would get annotated like this

>>23263289
>>23263425
It's a super niche story, there was no chance of me making it anywhere else

>>23263531
>>23263531
>>23263531

>>23263473
no, i think plenty of anons here write anime slop

>>23263237
>Lord Hundelai sighted while ordering food to be bought.
you mean he sighed, right?

Rate this small passage I just wrote:

He was now dressed in a tightly buttoned black coat in the Novgorodian style, almost form-fitted from his shoulders down to his ribs, then flaring out widely at the waist. Two black leather belts with polished silver buckles circled his stomach; three ruffled layers of black silk cravats poured out of his collar and fluttered in the hot breeze. He wore embroidered gray hose over thick-heeled horseskin shoes with black ribbon tongues that sprang somewhat ludicrously outward and hung over his feet with the drooping
curl of hothouse flowers. Sweat was already beading on his forehead like little diamonds—Crete’s summer did not reward the intrusion of fashions from a more northerly climate.

“My name,” said Leonardo Santino, “is Ioan Aleksovich.” The voice was clipped and precise, scrubbed of Leonardo’s natural inflections. He layered the hint of a harsh Slavic accent atop a slight mangling of his native Venetian dialect like a barkeep mixing liquors. “I am wearing clothes that will be full
of sweat in several minutes. I am foolish enough to walk around the Sixty Ladders
without a weapon of any sort. Also,” he said with a hint of ponderous regret, “I am entirely fictional, only existing in the realms of my fantasy-riddled head.”

"Well done, well done!" Costa clapped at Leonardo's performance. "Excellent choice of costume and even better theatrics! You might need to tune up your accent a bit, though. Just one small adjustment and you will tire of hearing the locals bathing you with compliments and marriage proposals!" he added and placed a large mirror in front of Leonardo, preparing him for one last rehearsal before they headed out for the night.

>>23263600
right,thank you. that's is so embarrassing

wow, look at this pile of crap: https://files.catbox.moe/d9sukc.zip