/lit/ - Literature

I hope you're trolling, otherwise, you've been trolled.

At least he's honest. I wish more writers would just admit they're producing nothing but shit. Also nice to see a paper that asks the hard-hitting questions and hasn't just sold out to dicksucking or mockery.

You dipshits have either failed to recognise this is a satirical piece. Or you're just being tools.

>The Onion

$100 says OP thought this was a real article.

Why is this faggot obsessed with killing characters off? The series will end with him having no one to write about.

>>2304138
Psst George Martin dies before the end

>>2304147
I'm pretty sure he will. Or he'll just lose his mind.

>>2302367
>>2302390
£500 says you too cunts don't realise the OP has trolled _you_

>featuring a cast of at least 50 new characters all vying for the same throne
I'm pretty sure there are at least 50 characters going for the throne so far in Song of Ice and Fire

I'm not sure who's trolling who, but I guarantee you at least one person in this thread thinks The Onion is a legit news site. What a fucking moron.

>>2304695

just because its a satirical website, it doesnt mean that the next two books arent gonna be turds.

>>2304700
I doubt any of us will live to see the next two books, perhaps our grandchildren will have that privilege

>>2304705
> privilege

>>2304712
>Ooooooh

>>2304720
hahahha holy shit

ITT: trolls trolling trolls

Though I wouldn't mind another book based in Sothoryos. /cough

>>2304785
Sothoryos is like north of the Wall without snow.

>For starters, there'll be no mention of the dragons at all, because I'm pretty much sick of writing about dragons at this point
The only part that didn't really work for me because I'm actually sick of the dragons after Dance.

This is great news! I'm looking forward to learning about the battle for the throne of Skaargos and the heraldry of all the major noble houses there.

>>2304790

>>2304802
Neither do you, there has been fuck all divulged concerning Sothoryos apart from a few choice passages.
Honestly GRRM has no time to explore that vast continent in ASOIAF if he ever wants to finish the story before he dies.

I am looking forward to Davos's journey to Skagos though.

>>2304802
thats not ygritte.

>>2304865

>>2304810
>I am looking forward to Davos's journey to Skagos though.
Davos is most enjoyable when he's with Freys or Stannis. Hopefully Skagos is done "off-camera" and we get Davos back to Stannis ASAP

>>2304885
>Freys
fucking freys I hope they all die.

>>2304982
Who's your least favourite Frey? I think mine has to be Little Walder.

>Reading George R. R. Martin
>2012

I hope you guys aren't still doing this

>>2304996
>implying i haven't read all those already, and am still going to read GRRM

>>2304996
I spend 4-6 hours of every day reading textbooks, journals and EU publications. Excuse me for letting me relax with some soft fiction for an hour a night.

>>2304694
around 40 of them get killed off

>>2304990
Probably the old man. fuck him and his treacherous ass. Does he die by book 5? I'm still at a storm of swords.

>>2304695
When those political comics from The Onion are posted on /co/, there's always at least one person who gets hugely butthurt.

Is there really a whole paragraph about a girl having diarrhea in one of the books?

>>2305249

usually at least 3 or 4

he insists in interviews it's metaphorical but idk about that, it's a little too "lovingly rendered" if you know what i mean

>>2305251
So... there are multiple scenes throughout the series in which GRRM describes, in detail, the bowel movements of various female character?

>>2305257
yeah, its a pretty significant motif

>>2305249
Yes if you can believe it

>>2305264
So good writing is when the author leaves the pages a bit sticky?

>>2305264
Bollocks, I was eating chocolate cake when you posted that. Ever had the feeling of delicious cake quickly melting into liquid shit on your tongue?

Still, thanks for posting, I lolled.

>>2305264

because flowery words and over-explanation is good writing, am I right?

There's a reason TGG is commonly regarded as a turd.

>>2305286
>because flowery words and over-explanation is good writing, am I right?
nothing is being over-explained.

>There's a reason TGG is commonly regarded as a turd.
because fantasy fans are too stupid to know good writing when they see it

>>2305264
I haven't read anything in the fantasy genre for years but I don't think that's particularly awful writing. It's supposed to be disgusting and it damn well is (unless Martin is a coprophiliac).

>>2305304
>thinks the use of "shit" as a verb out of dialogue is good writing
nope

>>2305309
I didn't say it's good, I said it's not particularly awful. I'd call it puerile and mediocre but there's far worse writing on the front page of /lit/ right now.

>people seriously think GRRM is bad because he doesn't use flowery overdone prose

LOL.

>>2305314
>wahh fitzgerald's writing is too complicated for me
you know what, just stick to your fantasy books

>>2305286

[citation needed

>>2305313

The key difference being, he is paid.

>>2305323

Ahahaha, sure thing dude, whatever you say. Generalisations are a sign of idiocy, maybe you should go back to Young Adult or something, because you've clearly learned nothing from your intellectual literature.

>reads GRRM
>must only like fantasy

>>2305336
it's one thing to read GRRM but another to like him
they're terrible books and only fantasy fanboys will argue against that

I don't usually agree with tripfags, but when I do, its to defend The Great Gatsby and to shit on GRRM.

>implying you can even compare the diliberately crafted style of Fitzgerald to GRRM splurging over the pages

>>2305323
confirmed for <18 years old

I will never understand why people love The Great Gatsby so much. It was an okay story, but it wasn't anything special.

>the great gatsby

>hurr rich people are terrible elitist snobs

I didn't need a book to know that.

I remember, years ago, when I read my first Onion article. It was about a man being raped by a bear. I thought it was plausible. Then I read about them bolting Christopher Reeves atop the Washington Monument.

I laughed for hours.

>>2305412
Don't you mean 'black person found to have _not_ mauled white woman to death'? Or something similar?

Why do people here hate ASOIAF so much? What about it offends you all so?

>>2305425
I wouldn't mind so much if people didn't just pirate it. But it's millions of quid that should be going to good writers.
Just my angle.

>>2305264
This is so biased.
On one hand you take a choice passage from Fitzgerald that serves to highlight the quality of his writing.
On the other you take the worst you can find from GRRM, out of context and flag it as a standard of his.

I also find it ridiculous that you would expect him to use penis and vagina when some of his characters are speaking of the sex of others. The vulgarity usually suits the scene more than gentle anatomy would.

What point do you elitist have in being jealous of the success of writers you feel are fit to read? Does reading have to be a puzzle in order to be good?

>>2302342
>The Onion
Did you really take this shit seriously?

And how were you not expecting the books to be complete turds already?

>>2305366
>comparing classics to pulpy goodness
>I don't usually agree with tripfags, but when I do, its to defend The Great Gatsby and to shit on GRRM.
>but when I do

You sound like some raging vegan bitch.

OMG WHY YOU EAT MEAT SO UNHEALTHY ANIMALS SUFFERING YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON WHY CANT YOU EAT PLANTS LIKE ME SO MUCH MORE HEALTH IM SO SUPERIOR ANIMAL KILLER

>>2305425

It's not the book, it's the fans.

>>2305683

What the fuck have we done?

>>2305633
I find that pic strangely arousing.

>>2305264
So when someone is shouting at a bitch in the book, you want him to say "You vagina!"?

>>2305292
Not trying to be biased but all you're saying boils down to "my literature is superior to yours and you're stupid to think otherwise", please bring actual arguments.

>>2305309
When you grow up you'll learn not to care about slang terms.

>untalented angsty teen "writers" on this board bashing popular and succesfull people for their great stories

I love the taste of all those tears, especially after trying to read that TAR garbage.

Maybe when you grow up we can discuss this guy, I doubt anyone else here read his sci-fi stuff, I like it a lot more than ASOIAF.

>>2305366
the only ones "comparing" the two completely different authors are retards like you

>>2306477
>full of success

>Drop by /lit/ for the first time in months
>elitist fags thinking that you have to read educational books and nothing else

Oh yes thats why i dont come here that often, thanks for reminding me

>>2306488
again, as the retarded aforementioned untalented angsty teen "writers" you assume everybody visiting this board is here to post their latest novella

YE GODS, THIS ISN'T THE AMATEUR WRITING BOARD, ITS CALLED THE LITERATURE BOARD

when will you learn there are people that don't assume themselves the next great shit, but just like reading

>>2305425
because its popular, no other reason needed

>>2306494

literature ecompasses amatuer and proven success and everything in between. grow up.

>>2306494
Maybe not but it seems like a lot of people here presume that their taste are more relevant then the next guys.
Seems like many make a point of looking down at anything that isn't a challenge to read or dares being entertaining past the joy of viewing crafty writing.

>>2306508
lol no

>>2305264
he's wrong tho. I could see dany sleeping behind that short wall and imagine the ants and the shit. That's images bro.

>>2306462
when you learn to recognize great writing you will know that using slang terms in third person narration is nothing more than mediocre writing

>>2307076
Oh man I remember you. You're my favourite troll could you post that image you have telling the weed smoker how retarded he is?

>>2305430
>>2305430
Wow, you are a faggot. What should they be spending there money on, two-hundred year old classics? All that money goes to the publisher and/or estate. At least this money is going to a living (not for long) person.
>>2305585
This.
Real art cannot be understood, in the opinions of all the c/lit/s here.
You can't compare genre fiction like Martin to literary classics like TGG. There's a well-defined difference. TGG has literary worth, but ASOIF is purely escapist fun.
>>2305366
>mfw when you switched Harry Potter with The Great Gatsby, you twelve year old Reddit fag (based off that picture).

>>2308488
>Real art cannot be understood, in the opinions of all the c/lit/s here.

i don't think that's an accurate summation of the beliefs of people on here. i certainly don't believe that. well, i think that it can't be 'understood' in the sense that art has no one canonical official correct understanding. so you will never have full and perfect knowledge of the meaning of a work. but that doesn't mean we're in the dark, totally mystified.

and i read fantasy and science fiction and classics, i have no horse in this race

also, i think your later comment - trying to say that ASOIAF is just fun - it's cool if you want to enjoy it purely on that level. it's also cool to think about it more deeply, and i think there is fantasy that can stand up to that kind of thought. just my opinion ofc. keep liking what you like.

>>2308497
It's enjoyable, has engaging characters, interesting settings, memorable conflicts and a just the right amount of fantasy.

I don't understand why some people seemingly loathe it.