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/lit/ - Literature

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2303104 No.2303104 [Reply] [Original]

>Hey c/lit/ how do you like my short story?
As a young girl i was raised near the Schuylkill River in west philly. I loved going to school, especially gym class. One day after school i decided to go and shoot some hoops behind the school. And as I was dunking, a couple of guys who i didnt even know came by, delinquents from the southside. It looked like they were up to no good,i found out they were reported by the neighborhood watch for making trouble in my neighborhood. Lets just say those years of karate payed off. Sadly my mom didnt agree and she got scared, so she decided to send me to live with my uncle and aunt in bell air California, where i now happily reside

>> No.2303111

tl;dr

>> No.2303108

I think its pretty good personally. What do you think?

>> No.2303113

8.9/10
Best New Short Story

>> No.2303119

>>2303113
Thanks anon i just wanted to voice my opinion on such a tough topic

>> No.2303131
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2303131

>> No.2303137

>>2303131
The literary element is striking

>> No.2303144

>>2303119
I liked it. It had a unique twist end I never saw coming that left me enthralled by ultimately you never left any gaps in the story which impresses me even more. I see much potential from you to be honest. Any more stories? I would love to hear you flex your voice futher! :)

>> No.2303157

Should have been longer, I never really felt attached to the character. In the end I didn't that has mother sent him to live in California.

>> No.2303161

>>2303157
Well then after i came o california i said goodbye to my driver(who smelled horrid) and when i looked back the license plate said fresh and there was dice in the mirror

>> No.2303170

>>2303161

That fixes the length issue, and you get a much better feel for the character, and his personality. I give it 5 thumbs up.

>> No.2303179
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2303179

>>2303131

>> No.2303205

Two thumbs up, plus my dick.

>> No.2303211

>>2303205
So two thumbs and half a thumb up?

>> No.2303213

Fuck. Why does everybody think comic book adaptations have to be gritty as fuck to be taken seriously? Go to hell op, you are part of the problem

>> No.2303222

>>2303211
I refer you to:

>>2303179

>> No.2303227

NO WAIT YOU GUYS

HEY

HEY LISTEN

OP IS TRYING TO FOOL YOU

SHE STOLE IT FROM A WILLOW SMITH SONG

>> No.2303230

>>2303222
lol'd. Good show, Anon.