/lit/ - Literature

More like Mien Krampf, amiright?

>>2296579

krampf is german for diarrhea, right?

>>2296575
First of all, why were you on a bus?

Second, why would you read mein kampf, its an atrociously written piece of narcissism.

>Late
>On my way home on bus
>Take out my copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray
>Get dirty looks from burly men.

>>2296575

>Buy bukwski's 'women'
>old counter fart: "you'll learn a lot".
>read how some women have a sharp left turn in their vagina and that they are all batshit insane.
>didn't learn anything

fuck's sake OP read that book by yourself if you're at all interesting in it

>>2296581
More like cramp from what I understand. A krautbro would know better than I though.

>>2296588
Strange.
Strangers approached me when they saw me reading it, now I have 3 new friends.
They all tried to fuck me.

>On bus
>Reading Communist Manifesto
>Get no shady looks
>Everyone sits next to me

>Reading Nietzsche
>Emo neckbear sits next to me
>Okay.jpg
>Starts talking to me about nietzsche, depression and how bullshit christianity.
>Accept my fate

>looked poor, but wasn't actually
>read the bible
>old women were really nice to me
>some even gave me money

>>2296575
>reading Mein Kampf in public
>not thinking about people's reactions beforehand
That should be read privately or on an eReader.

>>2296601
Obviously, they're liberal faggots.

>Reading Roald Dahl
>Fat sweating 40 year old sits next to me
>Tells me he read it recently
>Talk for an hour
>Reveals he's reading it so that he can have good conversations with regular readers and the younger audience.

>on bus

OH WAIT IM NOT A FAG

>>2296575
>cross-referencing The Stranger and Phenomenology As Spirit on bus
>get shady looks from Bert and Witty
>rumpshaker
>they look pissed
>mfw
>they pull out hard-bound Lolitas
>hard-bound
>mfw

>>2296629
My sides have split in all directions

>on bus
>reading lolita
>woman shrieks, grabs her child, flees
>people back away, multiple 911 calls, driver abandons vehicle
>swat team surrounds us
>shot with beanbag guns, peppersprayed, handcuffed
>cops seize book, spaghetti flops out everywhere
>they realize its a false alarm, leave me passed out and bleeding on the street
>hobos rape me
>mfw the librarian told me pale fire was better

>On bus
>Reading A Clash of Kings
>Fat guy sits next to me
>Gives me shady looks
>Look at him
>He leans forward and says "Robb Stark dies"
>He gets up and walks away
Wtf, this shit actually happened

>>2296611
Neckbear?

>Walk past cinema while "The Sixth Sense" is showing
>Calmly announce to everyone outside that Bruce Willis is a ghost
>mfw

>On a dirty bus late at night
>Reading Lovecraft
>Wearing my trenchcoat and hat
>Smoking a cigarette
>Women in leg-o-mutton sleeves sits beside me
>See she has a cat
>She feeds him fried chicken while he walks across her typewriter
>Cat types out language of the elder gods
>Faint
>Wake up
>See I was the cat all along
>Leave my book on the bus
>Walk away

>>2296651

>>2296575

ooh, you so edgy.

>riding the bus

lol

>sitting alone in Starbucks reading Finnegans Wake
>cute hipster girl approaches me
>start trembling with fear
>"Hey! You're reading Finnegans Wake? Is it any good?"
>"I-I think you'll find Finnegans Wake transcends the normative good-bad dichotomy, actually," I reply
>she says she doesn't understand
>I snort with laughter
>coffee spurts out of my nostrils, along with a single strand of spaghetti
>panicking, I quickly pull the tablecloth to my nose and blow
>more spaghetti falls out
>I try to catch it all in my fedora, but it quickly overflows
>the girl is staring at me in horror
>I stand up, knocking my chair over, and sprint towards the door
>trip on a string of spaghetti that was dangling from my nose
>as I crash to the floor a wet bubble of bolognese sauce escapes from my ass
>I attempt to stand up but slip on a meatball that had rolled out of my trouser leg
>everyone is laughing hysterically
>I try to apologize but my mouth is full of spaghetti
>start vomiting uncontrollably
>the spaghetti wraps itself around my neck
>I can't breathe
>I beg for help but no-one can hear me over their laughter
>quickly make my confessions before I die so I can get to Heaven:
>"I didn't really understand a word of Finnegans Wake!"
>everything goes black

>On bus
>Reading The Third Policeman
>All my senses bewildered all at once
>Bus wraps itself round something
>It's about a bicycle.

>Reading Portnoy's Complaint before a class starts
>average looking girl asks what I'm reading.
>I show her and say it's kind of funny

True Story.

>On a bus
>Also Sprach Zarathustra (in the original german)
>look around at the passengers
>sie blinzeln

>>2296601
lol'd hard

>>2296663
>"I-I think you'll find Finnegans Wake transcends the normative good-bad dichotomy, actually," I reply

Beautiful.

>In PE
>Teacher asks class to do book report on a famous person and bring book to class
>I chose a biography of George Bush
>the stares from everyone in class
Real story

>>2296699
PE?

>>2296705
Yes, I was baffled at the assignment too. It had nothing to do with PE. My teacher was probably very bored.

>>2296707
Which George Bush?

>>2296699
>book report
>Physical Education
>wut

This spaghetti meme was boring when it got old on all the other boards. Why the fuck is /lit/ just picking it up now?

>>2296712
Senior. The book was hardcover and had a colored photo of him on the front. I was indifferent to politics back then and picked it pretty much randomly.

>Board the metro
>Sit in front of a guy slouching on his seat
>Getting out my book
>François le Champi by George Sand
>Start reading
>Guy in front of me takes a glance at the cover
>Competitive look in his eyes
>Produces La Chartreuse de Parme by Stendhal from his bag
>Gives me a defiant smirk
>I don't give a fuck

Yeah, I'm french.

>In library
>Reading Lolita
>Cute girl sits opposite
>"Oh, Lolita, that's cool"
>Hour long discussion ensues
>I get her number
>One year on, we fuck

True story

>>2296584
>>2296592
>>2296614
>>2296632
>>2296655
You do realise he's joking right?
These threads were more common a few years back.
But you'd know that if you were here before 2011

>>2296723

>mfw this is the French equivalent of a fistfight.

>>2296663
I laughed excessively at this. Then realized if you were to save the punch line, this could actually be a pretty tragic and hellish dream.

>In the metro
>taking a handcar to the nearest Hanseatic station to trade for some ammunition
>man next to me takes out a book
>never seen a book before, stare at it
>he says "Vasily, this is one of the last copies of Dostoevsky remaining"
>ask him what Dostoevsky is
>mutant jumps out of a fucking pipe right next to us
>kills the man next to me and takes the book before running back into the pipe
>I will never get to read Dostoevsky now ;_;

>sitting on a bench
>reading Lady Chatterley's Lover
>girl comes up to me and asks what I'm reading
>show her the book
>she calls me a pervert and walks off

Has happened three times now, worried I may have travelled back in time to Victorian England

>>2296735

Because they knew what Lady Chatterly's lover was in Victorian England, of course?

Cunt.

>Reading Aquinas in the airport
>Got my wallet stolen the day before
>Starving
>Nice nun starts talking to me
>Buys me dinner and we drink beer

& I ain't even Catholic.

True story incoming.

>Getting the bus to Uni
>Take out Dubliners by Joyce
>Some guy sitting across from me
>He's reading Twilight
>Notice he takes a few glances at my book, then smirks to himse;f.
>Don't know what he's finding so funny
In Ireland at the time so there is nothing strange with reading it
>He keeps doing this for the rest of the journey
>His stop, he gets up
>Gives me a mocking look and laugh as he's leaving
>He falls over, Twilight falls on the ground
>He sprawls on the ground trying to get the book
>I give out a hearty laugh

>friend reads Mein Kampf
>everyone thinks he's super interesting smart for reading it
>tells me it's actually pretty interesting
>I give it a go
>everyone who sees me reading it thinks I'm an insane neo-nazi
Fuck everyone.
No one said anything when I was reading Lolita, though.

>>2296768
That's because Lolita is only known to those who have a taste and knowledge in Literature.

>>2296756
mfw I've been reading it as Dub-liners
mfw I didn't realize it was about people living in Dublin
mfw I've avoided reading this because I dislike Dub Liners.
mfw I might read it now
mfw Dub Liners is still a cunt

>>2296776
Wow...... just...... wow.

>sitting at the pub
>reading "Das Kapital"
>moronic pleb approaches
>"hello mate what yo reading?"
>".............its a......"
>"can you speak up mate i can't hear your?"
>"Its a book.....by Karl Marx"
>moronic pleb stares with hatred boiling in his eyes and exclaims
>"Oh I understand, I don't agree with his principles personally but I feel if we adapted the good of all politics maybe one da-"
>At this point I have to interrupt his cretinous drivel, his fascist capitalism is encroaching on my personal liberties
>"FUCK OFF YOU VILE IMPERIALIST! WHY DON'T YOU GO CAPTURE SOME VIRGINS FOR YOUR DRACONIAN FEUDALISTIC OPPRESSION!"
>He is aghast at my intellectual superiority and stupors at how I have bested him
>"Sorry mate i guess we got off on the wrong foot, my names Dave, would you like a drink?"
>At this point I had to leave, I don't need some conservative scum talking to me like that
>Let the Vanguard party rise again and smash these tyrants!

>Reading at union, waiting for a friend to show up
>Am reading
>Fucking football is on, whatever, I'll just try to read
>Douche comes over
>hey brah, y u reedin the games on lol
>I'm waiting on someone, besides I don't really like football
>Looks at me like I just told him my favourite flavour is triangle
>Walks away, I keep reading.

My friend didn't even show, fuck.

>>2296782
I can feel the spaghetti from here.

>>2296782

>Reading
>during a football match in your union

You kind of brought that on yourself.

>>2296780
Go to bed Trotsky you, you t-triple traitor.

>>2296805
You wanna exile this outside motherfucker?

I can exile like no one else bitch.

>Reading The Loneliness of the Long distance runner on train, just about to finish it
>Unfortunately this is the last train from Edinburgh to Glasgow
>Drunk guy starts blethering to me about how he's a published poet
>Forces me to look at his Facebook appreciation page, with 60 members praising his fucking awful poems about God knows what
>"De ye like mah poetry pal?" he asks. "Err no, not really: sorry, I'm trying to read."
>He starts a fight with me
>I end up breaking his nose
>I get arrested at the next station and end up in police custody for the night
>Got 60 hours community service and a criminal record
>Didn't even get to finish the story till the following day

>On bus
>Reading Kerouac
>Girls look at me flirtatiously
> Clambering to sit next to me

>reading Vonnegut
>edgy teenage atheists from the alternative religion otherwise known as the 'british humanist association' sit next to me
>meh

>On bus
>Reading Good Omens
>In Glasgow
>Get cheeked by ned teenagers listening to dance music on their phones

>Get on the bus
>Only seat is next to some dude
>Sit down and start reading The Fountainhead
>He asks me what I'm reading
>I tell him
>"Is that for school or just...?"
>"No, I'm reading it just because."
>"Whoa, cool."
>He gives me a Nutri-grain bar a little later

>>2296846
scot? high five!

>>2296885
>>2296846
samefag? or disproportionately high number of scottish visitors to this site?

>on ox
>reading molecular and cellular biochemistry

>be a kid
>at school
>reading a book
>girl comes up to me
>what are you reading for?
>uh what?

Why do people ASK THAT FUCKIN QUESTION!?

>>2296895
High five! Unless you're the bawbag I cunted on the train. ;)
>>2296899
I do not samefag my good sir.

>>2296899

for some reason there are a shitload of Scots on /lit/

>>2296846
You're a fucking liar. I started a fight and you ran to the fuck train warden. You only broke my nose because you threw the book while running like a wee bitch scraeming 'don't hit me, please not my face, not me.'

>>2296905

Oh hai Bill Hicks

>>2296919

>the fuck train

sounds like my kind of ride.

>>2296885
I am a scot, and no I'm not a train bawbag or poet although I occasionally use that train to visit friends.

I'm an Edinbugger :)

>Reading nietzsche
>dancing along
>this fat redneck comes up to me
>alright mate? Don't suppose you got a pound you could give me for the bus?
>were already on the bus
>I escape his sexual advances by getting on a bus that stopped near us
>continue reading ayn rand
>turns out what I thought were pages were actually text scrawled onto the chavnecks hands written in barbecue sauce and he was holding his hands in front of me like a book
>how about that £?
>MFW he pronounced the pound symbol out loud

>>2296919
Wouldn't boast about that, the book is about 1.5cm thick.
>>2296929
I too am part of the Edinbourgeoisie but I defected to Glasgow for university.

>At library
>Take Infinite Jest off shelf
>wait by lift downstairs
>guy approaches me
>'infinite jest, fantastic book, mate!'
>look at him
>greasy, tangled mullet
>pubic sideburns
>neck beard
>acne yet clearly above the age of 16
>chubby
>t-shirt with a joke on it
>baggy jeans
>beaten up trainers
>take the stairs
>vow never to read Infinite Jest

I rarely read in public and when I do no one takes interest. Not sure how I feel about this.

>>2296888

LOL

>>2296931

none of this made sense

>On the train home from glasgow to magnetropolis where i dwell
>this poet starts breaking his nose and confusing the fuck out of this thread
>reading the art of war by jackie chan
>I move my forces into the poets region under cover of darkness
>He calls for reinforcements from the fuck train warden
>My troops are less in number but I have superior control due to my complex system of gongs, flags and doing my own stunts
>after I'm victorious allow my troops to keep all the nutri grain bars to boosts morals
>nietzsche fall out of my pockets
>Mutiny
>I dive out the window and spread my glorious lat muscles in order to glide to safety

>>2296937
Mon then ye wee niddrie schemie

>>2296967
It doesn't have to

>>2296970
My dear boy, I went to Heriot's. Why would one ever set foot in Niddrie?

>>2296915

Because Scottish people fucking read maybe? As well as producing most of the decent literature in the british isles, in between running the fucking place and fighting all the wars.

Not samefag - additional scotfag here. Although like all good scottish people, I don't live there anymore.

>On globe
>reading antlers shrubbed
>young girl asks me what its about
>club her remorselessly to the ground for trying to cheat me out of the market value of my knowledge
>negotiate myself a fair price for the return of her cadaver to her owners along with a written condemnation of her competitive failures for future reference

>>2296993

>Most of the decent literature on the British Isles
>Ireland

>>2296980
>went to private school
You're worse than a niddrie schemie.

>>2296993
I think you mean Eastern Scottish people read.
The west and central belt can't even read their names on their court citations.

>on train reading Ikkyu poems
>gentle old aristocratic looking lady wearing old fashioned clothes and a fur hat sits across from me, pats me gently on the knee and asks about what I'm reading
>we proceed to discuss Ikkyu, Rumi, Zen, Sufism, meditation and all that good stuff for an hour
>have to get off, say goodbye
>as I walk away from the train I look back
>sweet old lady waving goodbye to be
>morn the loss of the greatest grandmother ever

>>2296998
>Ireland
>British

Oh boy, here goes.

>>2297007

My grandma is pretty cool like that. Shit maybe that was my grandma?

>On train
>Reading the complete works of Lovecraft
>A fat dark girl sit next to me
>She starts to talk to me and shows a copy of the necronomicom
>I get up and leave the train (when it stops, of course)

>>2297010

British Isles, not British. And I'm Irish.

>>2297003
First part: I can live with that if it means being able to shop in Jenners without the security guards following me.
Second part: Good coming from a Fifer.

>>2297007
Aww. I hope that's not fictitious, it's lovely.

>>2296998

Nah mate, although I'll accept that our celtic brothers from across the water have contributed enormously. Scottish literature defines British literature, way back further than the Irish contribution.

Not saying that a lot of my favourite writers aren't Irish, but they're not as influential on the mainstream as the Scottish.

Let's keep it friendly and say that Scotland has produced the vast majority of British literature, leave Ireland out of it.

>>2297010

Here goes nothing - I said British Isles, of which Ireland is part. It was a correct refutation, and a valid opinion. I've re-stated my argument accordingly.

Ye wee fuckin shite ye.

>mfw when this greentext thread is genuinely funnier than most because people on /lit/ have a better sense of comedic timing.

>>2297027
In terms of sales quantity you're probably right.

>>2297027

I'm cool with that.

>>2296970
I have been to Niddrie once in my 7 years in Edinburgh while walking to a party in Musselburgh and a young man threatened to "bottle ye ya cunt" because I wouldn't buy him 20 Regal.

>>2296980
Booooo posho cunt (i kid).

>>2297019
>he actually shops at Jenners and doesn't get his gear from JJB and Primark.
Check this nigga.

>good, coming from a fifer.
Also originally from Edinburgh though brah.

>>2297033
I've never set foot in Niddrie. Even I don't stoop that low on the scum pile.

>On airplane flight to NC
>Reading Rare Earth: Why Complex Life is Uncommon in the Universe
>Redneck sits next to me
>Chapter is covering basic biological principals that any high schooler should know.
>"You actually understand that stuff?"
>Proceed to have an awkward conversation about science, religion, life goals and so on.
>Rednecks life goal is to become a carpenter like is Dad and Jesus.
>"I guess someone has to build houses" and look out the window the rest of the trip

>>2297027
Irishfag here, i agree we have a good contribution, but we have also done terrible things to literature as well.
We, as a nation are sorry for the creation of Paula Meehan and the rise of Eavan Boland.

>>2297035
>I've never set foot in Niddrie
And I hope for your sake you never do. Same goes for Wester Hailes, my mate had a flat on the outskirts and it was like a fucking warzone or something. Oh the joys of being an ignorant sheepshagging Highlander ending up in all those horrible areas.

>>2297042
>Do you apologise for Joyce?

>>2296651
>See I was the cat all along
This got me.

>>2297035
Alas, Jenners has gone downhill since its sale. Ask any Morningside lady and you'll find that there's a striking lack of cashmere in the men's department these days. Utter travesty!

>>2297047
Never

>reading the exscuisite novelisation of superman 4 special edition where its crossed with the halo book
>get to the part superchief uses his warthog to chase elite luthor
>realise that grease from my ass has caused the mints i keep between my buttocks to become soiled
>cute girl sits next to me
>Wow, I've never seen a superman crossed with halo so elegantly
>erm.....why the fuck are you reading my fucking book?
>Oh....well I didn't mean to...
>I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped like that. Would you like a mint?
>anal grease drips of the tube of mints in my grasp
>oops, wait I think I have some other refreshments...
>girl is weeping in the corner
>bus driver turns around "YOU AGAIN!?!?!? I SWEAR IF YOU GOT ANY MORE ASS GREASE ON MY SEATS I'LL KILL YOU FUCKER
>my mini scooter unfolds itself
>"get on michael, I think you've angered the bus driver."
>Me and Kit turbo Boost out the sunroof

>>2297003

>I think you mean Eastern Scottish people read.

And this is why Scotland doesn't rule the world - every time two scotsfags meet, they start fighting because one of them's from North Kilttown and the other one's from East Kilttown.

>>2297025

True story. It's my favorite literature related encounter. I also once discussed Burroughs with a Greek backpacking girl who bought me beers while she ate pizza and wrote a Greek poem in my notebook that I've never been able to read.

And I once discussed religion for a half hour with a crazy fat old shouting street preacher whilst drunkenly smoking cigarettes and reciting things from the copy of The Antichrist I was reading at the moment. He was a glorious man, had a vision of Jesus after being introduced to the Gospel by a homeless guy after which he gave up his possessions and wandered around Europe with his bum friend for years preaching the gospel to whoever would listen. Had a gaze that could almost make an atheist repent.

And I once discussed poetry with some sort of tweed wearing bearded published Iranian refugee poet who was on the train carrying around a nightstand.

And I once talked Buddhism and jazz and smoked cigarettes with a milf who carried around a trumpet in her hand whilst waiting for the bus at midnight.

And philosophy with an Afghan busdriver who used to teach science in his own country before he had to get the fuck out.

And lots of other encounters. Reading in public has generally been one of the best ways to initiate interesting conversation.

>>2297049
In all seriousness I have a cousin who lives in Morningside. He's pretty down to earth.

I think all the scots should hook up on /lit/ and be jolly together.

>>2297055
It's all a bit banter.
The west isn't that bad. Their only crime is they are what keeps the Jeremy Kyle show going.

>>2297056
I want your life, yet here I sit, on a computer.
Discussing books in a golden sewer filled with pigs angrily wallowing in the filth which they've created.

>>2297056

>that feel when I realize this will never happen to me while I use an E-Reader.

>>2297062
I see what you did there.
You clever broad you....

>on the bus
>reading a copy of borges' book with the cover printed upside
>an old woman told me that I had the book upside down
>"No, I don't" I said, and kept reading
>The people around looked at me with a funny face

>>2297061
Posh boy here. Agreed about being jolly together, I'm very surprised at the number of Scots in here. I can't quite be arsed with a tripcode but for future reference I'm foxy should we bump into each other again. We already have spoken when I wrote that shitey Irvine Welsh rip-off a week or two ago.

>>2297061

Watching Jeremy Kyle is one of the highlights of my day ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrX9BWtO3jM

>>2297036

Seriously, if you can't hold a conversation with an ordinary working class guy, you're no kind of an intellectual at all. You're just a fucking snob. He may have had something interesting to say, and you might have been able to tell him something he didn't know before.

People like you are why people who read get so much aggravation.

>on flight to Memphis, layover before coming home to Yerp
>Massive tall dude sits next to me
>Pardon me sir, all that lovely polite American shit
>Asks me what I'm reading
>Tell him it's Ken Kesey
>Ain't that that hippy acid guy?
>Surely is sir, but this one is actually about rodeo riders
>Show him the cover of Last Go Round
>Turns out he has a son in the National Amateur Bull Riders of America or something
>Guy turns out to be as interesting as all hell, despite the fact that the last book he read probably had rounded corners that you can chew.
>We end up buying each other drinks on the plane, then when we land, we raise our wrists a few times in the shitty airport bar
>mfw he picks up the tab because I'm a guest in his country
>mfw he tells me a couple of stories that I can certainly adapt for my own writing, and that there is almost certainly going to be a tale about a skinny limey squashed in by a massive yank somewhere in my portfolio soon.
>Best plane ride in time.

That is how you travel in the US and A.

>>2297073
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psNAGm5Wpx0

>>2297076

again - forgot to mention that I'm a scotsfag too. Live in Amsterdam now though. I'm not going to say fuck Scotland forever, but I am going to say fuck Castlemilk right in the fucking eye. If I ever go back there, I'll be in a stealth bomber.

>gingers

>>2297076

This man knows how life works. This way of looking at people and dealing with them is one of the reasons I love Kerouac, although he isn't the best writer. He can just be so damned interested in the most mundane or random things in a joyful way. His Moriarty character in On The Road is the actual master of this.

>Yes!" yelled Dean. "Yes! Dig him! Now consider his soul — stop awhile and consider."

>>2297085

Jesus, that guy with the teeth ... fucking hell.

>>2297085

THis sounds like the UK answer to Jerry Springer.

That is, if it's broadcast in the UK.

>>2297090
It basically is. Kinda. We had Jerry Springer do a show similar (not his american show, it was after that was axed) before Jeremy Kyle. Before him was Trisha. We have had these kind of shows for a long time. The people who come on don't change much.

It's 'middle-class' porn apparently. We get off on watching how the underclass live. But I know people in the underclass who mock those on Jeremy Kyle. It's the lowest eh the low.

I live a few streets away from someone who was on it. It's fucking shameful.

>>2297090
It is similar, although Jerry Springer (who lives in the UK now, I think) is relatively nice to his guests. Jeremy Kyle is notoriously horrible and confrontational to them, which is one of the main appeals of the show. Here's a good example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HQtj2xlJj4

>>2297099
I know of people who watch Jeremy Kyle and aspire to be on it. A member of my family works for the police in Fife and regularly you get people coming in to the station asking to have a Jeremy Kyle style lie detector test to prove that they didn't sleep with so and so.

>called into the office to work saturday
>boss tells me I have to catch a plane but first I need to go see nietzsche in the laboratory
>what have you got for me N?
>its a pair of headphones james, but look at this. Press that button right there....
>small hatches on the headphones open to reveal a selection of poison darts, glass cutters, smoke bombs and strangle wire hidden inside
>Oh and james?
>Yes nietzsche?
Do try to bring this back in one piece wont you 007?
>Me and nietzsche kiss passionately while he tells me I'm his superman
>later, on the plane - I listen to my headphones and read the new highly acclaimed psychological vietnam war romance fantasy novel titled CRUST
>mmm nmm hmm nmmm
>*take of my headphones* what did you say madam?
>I said this isn't a plane, you're actually in an art gallery
>realise that in order to know that I believed I was on a plane the walrus I'm conversing with must be reading my thoughts
>take the strangle wire out of my headphones and ice the walrus
>german tourists gather round in shock as I steadily pump the most rancid smelling liquid fecal matter through my clothes onto the art gallery floor
>they quiockly realise whats going on and continue to appreciate the art
>I'm so very sorry /lit/. I'm going to bed now.

>>2297107
Dear god I hope this isn't true. Please for the love of god I will lose faith in humanity.
>mfw you just convinced me to get the fuck out of fife again and move back to leith.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvMzX6biSHw

>>2297114

This could so easily be real ...

>>2297114
I'm afraid it is completely true. Fife's not so bad though. Unless you're up with the chinless wonders in St. Andrews it's no more than a three quarter of an hour train journey away from civilisation.

>at local independent cafe, sitting outside
>reading nietzsche
>tilt book up so everyone can see i'm reading nietzsche
>put book down face down so the cover still shows on the table
>play idly with beard, contemplate deep thoughts, smoke cigarette
>young woman asks if she can share table with me, as there are three chairs but i'm the only one there
>i say sure
>she tells me she also likes nietzsche
>tell her that nietzsche is an entry level play-romp for eroticists, mystics and other bumbling pseudo-apes who either willfully ignore the awful truth or still have the wool pulled over their eyes
>she asks me what the hell i'm talking about
>i pull my pants down past my ass, start fondling myself and declare my masturbation a heroic testament to the idiocy and pretense of civilized society
>she is shocked but in a matter of seconds yells "Finally! Someone who understands!"
>she strips off her clothes and runs in circles around me, chanting gibberish
>after jizzing all over my paperback edition of thus spake zarathustra, i light the book on fire with my zippo and watch with curious intensity at how the semen fizzles in the heat
>she gives me her number
>i call it the next day, it's halliburton's customer service

>>>/book/

>>2297109
>Me and nietzsche kiss passionately while he tells me I'm his superman
I lost it there

>be American
>fuck reading
>watch the movie instead
>fuck you chavs.

>>2297173
>>2297173

>mfw most Americans don't even know what the word "chav" is.

>Reading Dawkins
>Muslim sitting next to me
>Asks me if I am an atheist
>I tell him I'm reading the infidel's book to study the enemy inshallah
>He is delighted "Good good. We need smart believers like you maashallah"
>Every fiber of my being wants to laugh out loud but I restrain myself
>Thank him for the compliment

Nothing like irl trolling

>>2297130
unfortunately, i've actually seen the first five lines of this post IRL

>sitting at a cafe, reading a book
>guys walks over to my table
>'do you mind if i sit here?'
>'yes, i mind'
>he looks around the cafe
>'but where am i going to sit? all the other tables are taken'
>'you can sit at home, away from my table'
>he walks off in a huff
>comes back with the store manager
>'i asked this guy nicely if i could sit down and he's been incredibly rude.'
>manager takes a step towards me
>'you've been sitting here for over an hour now and haven't bought anything.'
>'i don't want anything.'
>'well, then, if you aren't going to buy anything then i'm going to need you to leave.'
>'okay, fine.'
>i gather my things and then after i get up to leave, i grab the chair and take it with me outside and throw it into the street

it was kind of pointless because there were two more chairs inside at the table anyway.

>Reading infinite jest on the bus
>Man sits beside me, tells me he couldn't help but creep on what I was reading
>tells me to stick with it
>tell him I don't have ADHD, think I can handle it (about 500 pages in)

>be 18
>buy othello from chapters
>middle aged man at counter notices what I am buying
>stops me there
>"I'm going to have to stop you there[sic]"
>Do you know about our 'no fear shakespeare section? there's literally several versions of each shakespeare play so everyone can understand it
>Tell him I'll be fine
>contempt, deep, deep, contempt

>>2297263

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wigger

We have our own version.

Fag.

>be reading at cafe
>no one says anything
>enjoy peaceful reading and some nice coffee, maybe work on the laptop a little

seriously wtf guys

ITT i like to project my identity onto this object. oh, youre interested in my reading material? you totally misunderstand me, and im not reading this contriversial book ina public place to attarct attention

>>2297359
Alpha as fuck.

ITT yes, im just past my teens and i pretend to like/understand literature. therefore you are below me

>At relative's house for Christmas
>Reading Kindle
>Cousins asks what I'm reading
>"Infinite Jest"
>"What's it about?"
>"..."

>>2297373

>>tell him I don't have ADHD, think I can handle it

unlike the author...

>>at work reading Tropic of the Cancer
>>collegues ask what u reading, man
>>I give them book and point out a juicy paragraph
>>collegues are like "Right oooon!"

i miss my call centre job

>>2297408
>not replying "Oh, Infinite Jest? What's it about? Well... it's a work of genius ... grandly ambitious, wickedly comic, a wild surprisingly readable tour de force. I'd have no hesitation in calling it the next step in fiction... Edgy, accurate, and darkly witty... Think Beckett, think Pynchon, think Gaddis. Think."

>>2297413
I lol'd at the idea that you may be implying that his own novel was too much for him and he killed himself.

Really though, I wonder if he killed himself when he saw how America turned out? It's only a matter of time until the Angry Bird replaces the American Eagle on the dollar bill.

>>2297376

Nah, wiggers and chavs are different. Chavs are more like rednecks, I think, but urban.

They don't act black, in fact they're often quite racist, but they have absolutely no class or style or intellect.

>>2297421
you are a parody of yourself youd actually verbalize that

lol, you guys are more insecure than /fit/

>>2297421

>not replying 'mostly tennis with lots of self-satisfied prose that doesn't convey anything at all.'

>>2297427
>not reading blurbs from the back of the book you're reading on the sly when asked by passers-by what your book is about
>2012

I had the most glorious one just today. A lady on the bus smiled at me and asked me what "The Master and Margarita" was about.

I held the book out to her, cover facing forward so I could read off the back discretely, and rolled off with a huge shit-eating grin:

"This is a carnivalesque romp through the dark ages of Stalin's Moscow. It's a masterpiece of magical surrealism, a triumph of the imagination."

She walked away with a confused look on her face.

>>2297436
It convey's a lot though. And moreso, the fact I'm 500 pages in makes me want to finish it even though I think it's kind of drivel under the hope that the end will be some grandiose shit that will give me insight to life.

>sitting alone at Caribou Coffee
>enjoying my recently-purchased copy of nausea and a mint hot chocolate with candy bits on top
>cow-eyed girl in a university sweatshirt sidles up to me
>she's maybe a 6.5/10 if you overlook her lumpy knees
>"what's that book about"
>roll eyes and begin to answer
>pocket of my corduroy blazer vibrates with the rattle of an incoming text message
>cnn breaking news alert informs me that russell brand and katy perry have ended their marriage
>fucking what's the point anymore, kill the girl and myself in a fit of despair
>posting from hell where all you get to read are /lit/ threads where people brag about doing their freshman humanities seminar reading in public

>>2297442
The insight to life is kind of sprinkled in throughout. You'll know them because they are heavy-handed and kind of preachy (not that I mind, I love this kind of shit, Steinbeck does it all the time), e.g. plateux, the whole "That there are/is/when/etc" chapter, random things about how to stick in AA, etc

>>2297449
Absolutely in agreement. The book had much impact on me because I could relate to the struggles. Family problems, silence around your father, trying to kick a marijuana addiction. All very common problems that we face in the west today.

>>2297442

I don't think it conveys a damn thing - it's all surface and showing off and "LOOK AT MY FOOTNOTES LOOK AT THEM I'M SO ORIGINAL AND POMO JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS USED THIS TECHNIQUE".

If you're expecting life-changing insights, you will be disappointed, I think. Even the faggots on this board who ride DFW's dead dick will be hard pressed to tell you how it changed anything, influenced anything, or had one iota of relevance to anything at all.

>>2297452

>marijuana addiction

sure kid. sure you were. the fact that marijuana isn't addictive has no bearing on your bullshit.

>>2297443
>>pocket of my corduroy blazer vibrates with the rattle of an incoming text message
Oh you mean you got a text? Yeah just say you got a text.

>>2297469
>thinks that Marijuana isn't addictive
>2012

People are addicted to sugar, World of Warcraft, and reading. You can absolutely be addicted to marijuana. Just because you had no friends and didn't know anyone to buy weed from is no reason to get angry at me.

>>READING FROM MY KINDLE, LISTENING TO MUSIC, OBVIOUSLY FOCUSING ON WHAT I AM DOING IN A CAFE OR PUB IN JAPAN
>>RANDOM JAPANESE, USUALLY UNIVERSITY AGED GIRL SITS NEARBY/NEXT TO ME
>>I LOOK ACROSS/UP/WHATEVER TO SEE WHO IT IS SITTING NEAR ME, SMILE BRIEFLY, RETURN BACK TO READING
>>EVENTUALLY I CAN FEEL THE PERSON IS LOOKING AT ME OR HAS TRIED TO INITIATE CONVERSATION
>>BEING THE GUY I AM, I PULL OUT EARPHONES AND EXCUSE MYSELF, ASKING THEM TO REPEAT OR WHATEVER
>>ALWAYS ASKS SAME GENERIC QUESTIONS
>>WHERE ARE YOU FROM
>>DO YOU LIKE JAPAN
>>WHAT DO YOU DO HERE
>>WHEN DO YOU GO HOME
>>(SOMETIMES) DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
>>THIS REPETITIVE CYCLE OF QUESTIONS GETS OLD QUICKLY, BUT I CONTINUE TRYING TO BE NICE ENOUGH
>>USUALLY THEY ASK IF I CAN SEE THEM SOME OTHER TIME FOR DRINKS OR TO HELP THEIR ENGLISH OR SOME OTHER RANDOM SHIT
>>95% OF THE TIME THEY JUST WANT TO FUCK
>>MFW THEY ACTUALLY HAD NO INTEREST IN WHAT I WAS READING AT ALL. NOT ONCE HAVE THEY ASKED ME WHAT I WAS READING, I USUALLY TRY TO DISCUSS THAT I'M INTERESTED IN JAPANESE AUTHORS BUT THEY ALWAYS SAY 'MURAKAMI HARUKI?' AND I SIGH


DURING THIS TIME IF THERE'S EVER ANY OTHER FOREIGNERS THERE (USUALLY (BUT NOT ALWAYS) OLDER, BALD, FAT, RED HEAD, YOU KNOW, LOSERS) ALWAYS GET THE BAD LOOKS FROM THEM.

>>2297449
>>2297452

So the insights are:

>staying in AA is difficult
>sometimes people have difficulty relating to their dad
>families can be burdensome at times
>marijuana is a bit morish.

FUCK ME, CLEAR EVErYTHING, HOLD ALL THE FRONT PORCHES, ONE MAN HAS CHANGED THE WAY THE WORLD THINKS FOREVER.

question: when was the last time you saw anyone, anywhere but here, talking about the importance of David Foster Wallace? He's a non-entity of world literature.

>>2297479
its not physically addictive though

>>2297469
>implying that marijuana, while not physically addicting, is not also mentally addicting

>>2297479

I'm Dutch, you fucking idiot. Even if I didn't have one friend in the world, weed would not be a problem. And it isn't addictive.

>>2297484
physically addictive, mentally addictive, you're really splitting hairs here. It's addictive. People struggle to end their relationship with it.

>>2297491

People who want to be a victim and stand up in meetings and blame something outside themselves for the fuck up their life has become do this.

Most people smoke heavily for a few years, then stop and go about their business and not a single fuck is given.

>Reading the Psalms on the train.
>Old Asian lady sits next to me.
>Pulls out a book of Buddhist prayers.
>Inter–religious kinship.

>>2297500
>gross generalization not based on any shred of evidence

>>2297500
>addicts are responsible for what happens to them, its just a mental weakness

...

>>2297500
>severely butt-frustrated manchild who was never invited to smoke some pot and have sex with promiscuous underaged schoolgirls

>Had just finished Nausea. Talking about it with a friend
>Other friend walks up and says "What are you guys talking about?"
>"Nausea" I answer
>"Nausea, the crust punk band?" he asks
>Nope.jpg
>MFW all my friends are anarchists

>Junior in High School, decide to read Mein Kampf
>History teacher sees it and asks me how far I am
>Tell him I'm less than halfway through
>Tells me he only made it 1/3rd through
>We laugh for a while about how bad the writing is and how mistaken we both were for thinking we'd find something historically significant in it
>He goes on to write my college recommendation the next year

>>2297559
>Contemplate buying another book along with Lolita to avoid arousing suspicion but realize that it's Borders Express and the books are 14 fucking dollars
>Start to weep that there was no used book store near where I grew up
>Drop book on the counter. Get terribly dirty looks from the cashier
>Pay my 14 fucking dollars and hear the fat lady whisper to the old bitch nearby "Disgusting"
>Walk back and tell her "It's a fucking classic."
>Bitch her out for working at a book store whose entire philosophy section is comprised of different versions of the bible and entire political science section is comprised of Glenn Beck and Anne Coulter best sellers with no Marx or Locke or anyone who knew what the fuck they were saying
>She threatens to call security
>Give her the finger and leave

>Visit my Grandmother
>House smells like pot, like always
>Hear the shower going so decide to look at her bookshelf to pass time
>Twilight, Biography of Obama and one of Clinton
>Siddhartha, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
>Communist Manifesto
>Knew my mother was a socialist, remember her once saying Grandma was one too, and so was my great grandmother. Had forgotten all about it.
>Instantly felt like I was betraying my family legacy because I wasn't a socialist anymore

>watch porn on portable DVD player in class
>classmates sit next to me to watch
>asks to turn volume up
>teacher pretends nothing happened

>>2297507
>>2297511

Based on personal experience and spending my life between 17-24 completely boxed.

>>2297518

I'm still dutch, and I have never ever had any problems getting my hands on any kind of drug. And my first girlfriend's dad used to give her condoms when she was 14, so I was fine for the promiscuous schoolgirls as well.

Is that really the best argument you joker smokers can come up with? HURR YOU DISAGREE SO YOU MUST BE STR8 EJ. Fucking hell.

I still smoke from time to time, mostly at weekends when I'm with friends who like coffee shops better than bars. It's fun to get wrecked on weed, but it's not fucking addictive. Never met a single person here in holland who would even dream of claiming to be hooked.

Usually the "addiction" is a function of some teenage idiot getting busted in some intolerant country, then escaping jail time by going OH NOES YERONNER I AM A POOR VICTIM OF A WIKKID DRUG AN I NEED HALP PLOX.

>>2296648

hahahahaha

>>2296663
I just laughed for so, so long...

>>2297570
Not necessarily. Like drugs, it too differs from person to person. Unless you're talking about weed of course, but even then that's pretty much an understood front.

>On bus
>Reading The Last Temptation Of Christ
>Fourteen-year-old aspiring neckbeards sitting across from me
>Overhear them asserting that I must be a christfag, as I'm reading some sort of religious text
>Bristle at the suggestion that I'm some ign'nt christfag, but don't want to explain it to them b/c i have never liked it when some older know-it-all butts into conversations
>Make effort to hide the cover from then on

>at starbucks
>reading Hitch-22
>cute attendant is cleaning tables around me
>asks me if it's any good.
>turns out she loves Christopher Hitchens and seriously knows her shit
>we talk about our favourite authors
>gives me her number

mfw

>>2297618
That never happends to me because when we start talking about favourite authors, any author that is out of my list completely puts me off.

>>2297359
>>guys walks over to my table
>>'do you mind if i sit here?'
pretty stupid move. if he'd just sat down, then either you don't say anything, or you'd be the one bitching.

>>2297626
Why? Don't let your elitism inhibit your potential to establish relationships bra.

>>2297598

wut

>>2297626

>waiting for the manic pixie dream girl that will love what he loves and listen to his favorite bands
>will be forever alone

>>2297626

Enjoy your hand.

>>2297629

>not asking "is anyone sitting here?"

If the seat is empty, I don't give a fuck if you mind me sitting there or not, I'm sitting down.

>>2297464
i didn't think they were pomo or unnecessary, i thought they were very useful and helpful in explaining stuff without breaking up the prose

it also provided a lot of opportunity for comedic timing

>>2297715
>those double-tiered and sometimes triple-tiered footnotes

>>2297715

>explaining stuff without breaking up the prose

Actually, I thought the exact opposite - it was an exercise in breaking up the reading experience. More empty posturing, I thought. Like he'd read The Dictionary of the Khazars but didn't have the stones to carry the experiment to its logical conclusion.

Also too much fucking tennis.

>>2297819
BUT WIMBLEDON WAS ON TV THAT DAY BRO!

>>2297822
>>2297822

>>2297483
>So the insights are:

Two guys wandering around Ireland
Maybe bitches should be a bit more pragmatic
Maybe bitches shouldn't bitch if they can't cum in their wifey

or,

>So the insights are:
Retards perceive shit different
Incest fucks people up

or,

>So the insights are:

Entropy

>>2297837

>>2297570
2/10

>>2297840

>>2297861

>responds 3 hours later

>>2297871
>implying I'm the same idiot who was arguing with him

>>2296575

Congrats, you accomplished exactly what you set out to do. Ah, the teenage years.

>>2297871
>implying I'm the idiot who was arguing with him

>>2297036
>like dad or jesus.
lul´d rite durrr

>>2296814
A challenger appears.

>>2297878

Still replied three hours later though. You really think he's going to see your deathless post, full of insight, and mend his ways.

Oh wait, it was a shitpost, but the principle remains.

>>2297897
Karma's got my back in this vicious cockfight. Let's do this.

>>2297900
>shitpost

>>2297900
>deathless post
>mend his ways

>Sitting on a train
>Reading the Master and Margarita
>Drunken fellow asks what I'm reading and why there is a cat on the cover.
>"It's about how Satan visits this city and fucks everything up for people. The cat is one of his henchmen, and he's huge, like about my height."
>and the title?
"It's about this writer who is really depressed after losing his hot wife. Turns out that she meets up with Satan and gets turned into a witch. She even flies to a party completely naked on a flying pig."

That's how you talk about the Master and Margarita. Carnivalesque romp; negro if you please.

>>2297086
oh lawd, i live in spittal, right next to castlemilk. unless its some other castlemilk...

>>2296663

>I-I think you'll find Finnegans Wake transcends the normative good-bad dichotomy

Funniest sentence written today

..."special creamer" isn't a thing.

I fucking love you sometimes lit.

>reading Anne Frank - The Diary of a Young Girl - Definitive Edition on bus
>backpack falls over
>Lolita falls out
>guy across from me smiles, nods
>nod back

BROS

>Reading the English Patient in the Subway
>Noone give a fuck

>>2297483
Who cares? I could ID with what he was saying, and for that I enjoy it.

Also, I think part of the point of the book is about the fact that these trite problems are some of the biggest problems for people who live in America. It's kind of sad in that way.

You wouldn't understand, Dutchie

>>2297979
>recognizing pedophiles on the bus

>>2297995
>>2297995

>implying I didn't study English literature at an English University
>implying a 16 year old american could understand literature better
>implying I'm not completely bilingual, and in fact my English may be better than my Dutch.

Yeah. Good show, chap.

>>2298014
Implications, implications everywhere.
So much Dutchhurt.

duh fuck do you expect, dude? Do you think people are going to come up to you and say, "Oh dude, that's looks like an awesome book. Is it good?" You're reading the book a mass murderer (if you don't believe, go to >>>/pol/)
>In college, sitting in class, reading Hemingway.
>People look at me like I'm about to shoot up the class. Fatty reading a book = serial killer apparently.
>Other guy comes in, pulls out Harry Potter, girls go "Oh he's so intelligent and cool for reading such deep and complex books."

>>2298028
>Hemmingway
>Iceburg Theory
>???
>Columbine

>>2298033
>Faulkner
>narration mired in intemporality
>???
>VA Tech

>>2298038

>Rhinehart
>defined entirely be luck and a desire to be out of control
>???
Michigan

>>2298014
Good fucking load of help all that university has done, you didn't even respond to the meat and bones of my post.

Also, none of that has anything to do with living in and being American (like, you know, being American since you were born). There is a world of difference in perspective. I'll spell it out for you to prevent any more unnecessary replies: Anyone can read the book and understand it, but people in America can relate to it in a way that people who have lived in Europe all of their life cannot. Deal with it.

>>2296663
Best thing I've ever read.

>>2296814
We've got a saying around here, buddy.
A chicken in every pot and an icepick in every trot.

>>2298062

>Anyone can read the book and understand it, but people in America can relate to it in a way that people who have lived in Europe all of their life cannot.

Proves my point. Wallace was a non-entity in world literature, a parochial show pony whose superficial prose impresses only his home crowd.

You never hear anyone say you can only fully relate to Pynchon if you grew up in post-war USA, or that Joyce is only accessible to readers from early 20th century Dublin. Fatso Wallace was a nothing, and your defense of him has made him less than nothing, merely an American sideshow, not fit to be discussed in the canon of truly great American writers.

Wallace is sub-Ford, of no interest, and his name will be forgotten within a decade, as soon as the publishers have finished picking his carcass and handing out the bones to fanboys who think he somehow speaks to their lives.

As for the meat and bones of your previous post - I didn't notice any. It was pretty thin gruel. What would you like me to address?

>>2298071
The whole non-entity thing was never my argument, though. From the very beginning I only said that I could identify with some of the things in his book. I have problems with the book myself, but there's also many parts of the book that I love, and I wanted to defend those parts. I'm not really interested in the fact that he isn't world renowned.

I have opinions. Deal with it, nerd.

>>2296866
>>2296866
I'm reading On the Road. I guess people wanna fuck now.

>>2298076

You have opinions? I hadn't noticed any.

I don't have to deal with anything, as there's nothing at all to deal with - if you want to debate your "opinion" then feel free. Otherwise, continue to post images and get into name-calling.

I literally couldn't give a fuck either way.

>Be on break at work
>reading Slaughterhouse Five
>see a Paki with an immense beard approaching out of the corner of my eye
>silently beg him to stay away
>silent begging is ineffective as usual
>"Reading some novel?"
>I show him the cover
>his accent pronouncing Vonnegut is hilarious
>asks me what it's about
>I am stumped for a moment
>Decide to go with sci fi
>"It's about time travel and aliens" I say truthfully
>He mutters something rendered unintelligible by his accent
>I say yes and bury my face in my book
>he walks away
>I finish eating my spaghetti
>my Perrier is dead
>So it goes.

>>2298090

>being racist
>perrier

Don't know which makes you the bigger arse tbh.

>>2298097
Oh, I'm not racist. He's a nice guy. I just wasn't in the mood for talking to people.
And it was actually Lacroix but I couldn't think of the word.

>reading Cellini on european train tour
>leave book on a park bench when stoned
>later in a Viennese brothel a Romanian hooker randomly brings up Cellini after fucking
>an omen from the Gods, i need to buy another copy
>go to Florence
>purchase penguin classics version
>an iti mistakes me for the proprietor and starts babbling
>look at him blankly and say "scuse, inglese"
>no spaghetti consumed while in Italy
>true story

>>2297618

Because of this thread I will heretofore imagine all /lit/ threads in a strong brogue.

>>2298107
>Implying Chicharito Hernandez has cancer
>Implying cancer matter in /lit/
>Implying soccer is a damn awful sport

>>2297618
That's nice.

Relevant: http://www.salon.com/2011/12/17/christohper_hitchens_and_the_protocol_for_public_figure_deaths/singl
eton/

I've never been approached by anyone while reading in public. And I do it nearly everyday on the subway.

>>2298107
Gets funnier every time.

>>2298211
He held valid reasons for supporting the Iraq War. He had been a visitor of Iraq at the height of Saddam's power and saw the country's fallout after the liquidation of the Kurdish people had reached its zenith.

Not to mention being in Washington at the time of the attacks, it's fucking stupid how no one seems to understand that he had a profound personal attachment to this.

>>2297618

>>2296730
nah, that's the French equivalent of an MC Battle.

>Reading Lolita in front of parents
>Ignorant fucks have never read anything but a children's bible and a handful of self-help books
>They have no idea and no problem
>Ignorance is useful

>>2296579
>>2296581
fuck you guys i just snorted coffee from my nose at reading "Mein Krampf"

also
krampf = cramp
durchfall (lit. through-fall) = diarrhea

also also: lots of people reading Lolita atm? I've started a few days ago as well.

>sit in café
>read Animal Farm
>nobody cares

>captcha: omak atedAcw

>>2297626
butthurt insecure theistfag detected

>>2297965
is that really you??

>>2298285
No discernible coherence.

thats why you put a random cover on books. so people dont act like shitheads.

>>2298294
i read paperbacks :(

>>2296581

false. it means "cramp"

>>2297965
what a cute cat

>>2298258
>He held valid reasons for supporting the Iraq War.

No such thing. He had no business writing about the war because he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, what with his nonsense about 'Islamo-fascism' and America's 'responsibility' to brutalize Iraq into submission without justification. Hitchens was a charlatan.

>Not to mention being in Washington at the time of the attacks, it's fucking stupid how no one seems to understand that he had a profound personal attachment to this.

oh, lol.

>>2298296

i do to. you cover them like a schoolbook.

>years ago
>riding the train
>reading some dan brown-novel I got for christmas
>woman across from me starts talking to me even though I'm reading and listening to music
>she asks me why I'm reading "that book" when I could be reading the bible
>Swede, so encounters with bible-thumpers are really rare
>No spaghetti in my pants but the question is so out of place and unexpected that all I can muster in response is "because it's good/entertaining?", I mean none of her fucking business right?

don't remember the rest but I haven't read the bible yet so I assume I came out victorious from that encounter

>>2298314
>He had no business writing about the war
He was a journalist! What do you expect!

>his nonsense about 'Islamo-fascism'

You are so naive. You probably think israel is evil for taking the palestinians land.

>On bus
>reading collected works of Plato
>over everyone's heads
>I read on undisturbed

>>2298319
with christmas wrapping paper?

>>2298324
>You are so naive. You probably think israel is evil for taking the palestinians land.

Dipshit.

>>2298327
how sad

Offtopic: I really liked reading Infinite Jest, why do you people tell me I should feel bad about it?

>>2298330
I think some people like telling other people that they like Infinite Jest far more than they actually liked Infinite Jest.

>on train
>reading on my kindle
>no one knows what Im reading
>realise im the only true book lover as I dont buy books to try and show off their covers on public transport, but instead, to enjoy the story.

>>2298314
>He had no business writing about the war
He was a journalist. Not only that, but but who held personal relationships with Kurds and Iraqi's alike. He was assigned there on multiple separate occasions, each spanning different times in Saddam's regime. This allowed him to examine first hand the heavily brutalised state he was enforcing on the country.

> he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about
I think it's time for some self reflection on your part.

>>2298336
>own a kindle
>girls all over my dick because I buy all dat technology
>they wanna see my iPhone
>they wanna touch my iPad
>they wanna come home and have sex while listening to my bose stereo.

>>2298339

>iPad
>iPhone

Euh, get some class at least, sheep.

>>2298324
>He was a journalist! What do you expect! You are so naive.

Most journalists don't have the sort of cult following that Hitchens does (including here on /lit/.) I particularly dislike him because a good deal of what he sermonized about was directly related to my main areas of academic interest - I'm a Near Eastern studies guy and a religious studies guy. He was intelligent and a skilled debater when he chose not to act boorish, but his analyses of the Iraq war and religion in general were shallow and daft.

>You probably think israel is evil for taking the palestinians land.

You're aware that this is more or less what Hitchens believed, right?

I'm no fan of Israel myself, but I disdain them as much for wielding such an absurd amount of influence over my country's public opinion and foreign policy as I do for their attempts to dehumanize Palestinians.

>>2298351
>but his analyses of the Iraq war and religion in general were shallow and daft.
How was it shallow? I'll admit his postulation that Iraq harbored nuclear weapons was bogus and that his subsequent revisions to clear his name were abhorrent. But his position was in defence of the persecution and liquidation of the Kurdish peoples. Saddam Hussein was a rutheless dictator with Stalinist inflections. I don't understand why those on the Left dismiss this as evidence to his cause.

It's been proven that he was leading a despotic rule in flamboyant style.

His advocacy of the war can also be attributed to his Marxist beginnings Marx's belief to engage in conflict to achieve a greater purpose.

>>2298337
>He was a journalist. Not only that, but but who held personal relationships with Kurds and Iraqi's alike.

Notably Ahmed Chalabi, convicted embezzler and member of the very same cabal that began orchestrating the invasion and occupation of Iraq in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attacks.

>He was assigned there on multiple separate occasions, each spanning different times in Saddam's regime. This allowed him to examine first hand the heavily brutalised state he was enforcing on the country.

Sympathy for victims of atrocities doesn't excuse quixotic support for unjust and unwise wars.

>Taking the Blue Line back from LA get on some guy dressed as one of the apostles is talking about good and evil, communist Jesus, to this Jamaican dude. Fucking ginger kid in front of me looks stoned out of his mind with #occupy shirt on. I pull out Saxons,Vikings, Celts, Can get get any reading done since fucking dude it blathering on about communist jesus and ginger kid keeps asking me about how he smells.
>_<

>>2298400
cant

>>2298359
>How was it shallow?

I was referring to his silliness about fighting 'Islamo-fascism', which is a vague and highly charged term that purportedly denotes some sort of nefarious and coherent militant ideology but really just refers to everyone who opposes the foreign policy aims of the United States and identifies on some level with some form of Islam.

Hitchens was certainly intelligent enough to see through such transparent propaganda, but he chose to help spread it instead. I guess his rabid impulse to pin all of the world's ills on religious belief prevented him from wasting any opportunity to demonize a major religion.

>I'll admit his postulation that Iraq harbored nuclear weapons was bogus and that his subsequent revisions to clear his name were abhorrent. But his position was in defence of the persecution and liquidation of the Kurdish peoples. Saddam Hussein was a rutheless dictator with Stalinist inflections. I don't understand why those on the Left dismiss this as evidence to his cause.

I do care about the suffering of others and don't mean to be crass, but so what? Autocrats committing atrocities doesn't justify unilateral intervention in the domestic affairs of other countries, particularly not in the form of decades-long 'nation building' endeavors. Why Iraq? There were and still are plenty of people suffering in Sudan, Chechnya, China's western territories, Sri Lanka, Indian Kashmir, and countless other humanitarian black holes. Can the United States justifiably spend trillions of dollars on similar military operations in any of those places should it choose to invade them? Of course not. Incidentally, I'm not really a leftist.

>>2298351

>a skilled debater when he chose not to act boorish

Actually, he was a boor who could occasionally put together a decent debate. At one stage in the UK, you couldn't turn the TV on without seeing him and he always seemed to be simply enjoying the sound of his own voice and/or browbeating people.

>>2298419

>There were and still are plenty of people suffering in Sudan, Chechnya, China's western territories, Sri Lanka, Indian Kashmir, and countless other humanitarian black holes.

The truth is that there are and have been many worse regimes, some of which have been actively supported by the USA (the US involvement in Indonesia in the 1970s, and in Central America in the 1980s is enough to see three presidents in front of a war trimes tribunal and locked up in Scheveningen).

The invasion of Iraq had absolutely nothing to do with foreign policy, islamo-fascism or weapons of mass destruction, it was entirely a result of US domestic insecurity. Iraq was on the verge of trading Euros for oil, and dumping their petrodollar involvement. Syria was watching very carefully, Venezuela too. If even two or three major oil-producers made this move, the consequences for the US economy would be incalculable, literally. It would be worse than losing any war. It would also have made the euro the most important worldwide currency - if you ever womdered why the French were so anti-iraq, when they enthusiastically blew the fuck out of Libya later, then now you know. They saw the attack on Iraq as proxy war against the european union. The only European country behind the war was the UK, traditionally and implacably opposed to the euro.

whatever happened to Brownbear or whatever that trip was.

I miss his stories

>>2298552

[cont...]

The atack on Saddam was about the maintenance of US hegemony, and the preservation of the US economy (perhaps even the US itself) nothing more, nothing less.

I honestly don't know if it was justified in those terms. Any nation has the duty to keep itself alive, and strong, but in the last 100 years, doing it at the barrel of a gunboat has not been the civilised method.

these are facts, and you can look them up if you're in the least bit interested. Google brzezinski doctrine as well, if you want the political background to the conflict both in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's old-fashioned geopolitical imperialism.

tl;dr not about oil, not about wmd, not about politics - national survival

>Let our position be absolutely clear: An attempt by any outside force to gain control of the Persian Gulf region will be regarded as an assault on the vital interests of the United States of America, and such an assault will be repelled by any means necessary, including military force.

>>2298553

pic related: I think he vanished up there.

And his stories were awful, so you're either trolling, or you're brownbear. HAI BARE.

>Be reading X
>"Ohh hey what you reading?"
>Show cover, "It's blah blah blah"
>"Ohh is this for school or..."
>"No I just like to read"
or
>"What the hell are you doing? Why are you reading?"
every time
inb4 hill bicks

Didn't say thy were good, still miss him though

>talk about books with another student at my university
>she asks what I'm reading right now
>she's a Christian that's really deeply involved with her church and all that
>I'm reading The Portable Atheist
>not sure how she'd react, she's really cool other than being religious so I don't want to risk it
>despite my social awkwardness, I manage to dodge the question somehow
>relief ensues

i try not to read books in public. people seem to think it's really weird.

>>2298559
BB's stories were fun and worth reading. You just mad because you couldn't understand his satrical mastermind.

I'm back from big /lit/ hiatus, does DE still post?

>>2298600
- D&E's tripcode was cracked
- some people still post under that name, but it's not D&E and they don't post that often
- real D&E was posting under the name D'Averc for a while (including a totally loltastic thread where he claimed to be a TOTAL STRANGER who was just influenced by that super cool and smart and handsome Deep&Edgy, it was seriously great) but even he hasn't been around very much

so yes, but not very often atm

I loved arguing with DE, and liked chatting with BB and pals on the t1nychat room. All is lost.

>>2298593

Howdy, BB. Why did you drop the trip?

HOW MANY TRIP/NAME FAGS FROM DAY 1 ARE STILL HERE?

>>2298627
almost none, i don't think any of the eventual long-running trips actually posted on day 1. the only notable trip i can think of that started that early is GamerGirl, and he/she has been gone for a super long time. Isabelle Huppert was pretty early, but he doesn't post any more. Brownbear and Stagolee et al were relatively late.

>>2298627

Not many. If any - I think /lit/ collectively got wise to their shit.

There's still that "woman" - I can't remember what her original trip was, but she uses a butterfly type thing now. She's a complete fucking idiot, only ever posts like two word psuedo-trolls that go fairly un-noticed, easy to ignore.

I heard D&E is trolling /v/ these days, but I'm fucked if I can be bothered to wade in that cesspool to find out.

I've been away from /lit/ for about 3-4 months, and I think it's improved a bit. There's still the same boring Pynchon/Joyce/DFW/dostoevsky/lolita bullshit that there always was, but there are some slightly more interesting threads around than when I was last here.

>>2298636
>There's still that "woman" - I can't remember what her original trip was, but she uses a butterfly type thing now. She's a complete fucking idiot, only ever posts like two word psuedo-trolls that go fairly un-noticed, easy to ignore.

are you talking about onionring? i don't think onionring and butterflyguy are the same at all. also, butterfly guy is a decent enough poster.

other than that right on

>>2298641

No way? Then I've been maligning him. I thought it was onioncunt.

Still, being similar enough to her to be mistaken for her is a bit disturbing.

>>2297979

HAHAHAHAHA

>reading best behaviour by Noah Cicero at starbucks
>girl comes up to me
>'oh my god i love noah he's so cute'
>'that's nice'
>do u like tao lin
>i do, but I'm trying to read
>oh my god, ur so alt we should hook up
>'no thanks, I don't date people who are rude and interupt busy people
>i'll give u my number
>she grabs my coffee cup and writes 11 numbers on it
>'call me 'kay' i'm stacy
>look at the cup with stacy and eleven digitis on it tell 'i wont call'
>'ur so funny'
>close my book, take my coffee cup and place it in the garbage and leave starbucks
>throw up on the homeless man outside before getting onto a bus and go home.

pic related, but prettier and less slutty.

>>2298695
itds s just like brownbear is back

it's like christmas in january

if christmas was the worst day of the year

>Sitting on the bus reading Lolita
>The guy next to me pulls out The Manga Sutra
>I move seats. At least my creepy fapfest of a book doesn't have pictures.

>I AM READING.
>I AM IN BUS.
>PERSONS STARE & GLARE AT ME.
>I STRUGGLE TO READ ONE PARAGRAPH FOR TWENTY MINUTES.
>I GET TO MY DESTINATION.

>>2298695

I was just sick in my mouth a little bit. From now on, I'm going to assume you are BB. You piece of fucking cuntmeat.

I WAS HERE SINCE DAY 1 BUT DIDN'T BECOME CAPSGUY UNTIL THE BEGCHAN INCIDENT.

>>2298706
>Dr. Seuss
>Brownbear
nope.

>>2298718
wait is person. the same as dr seussicide slaf?

you fuckers are so hard to keep track of

>>2298722
Someone started posting racist stuff with his name. He changed to a new name/trip because he didn't want to be associated with racism. Shit posting is fine apparently, but not racism. Go figure.

>>2298722

>Wanting to keep track of tripfags.
>Not ignoring the trips and treating them as you would anons.

>>2298722
Yes

because
>>2298724

JUST EVERYONE TYPE ONLY IN CAPS AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BLISS

WITHOUT TRIPCODES AND NAMES OF COURSE

>>2298734

THEN IT WILL BE LIKE A BUNCH OF MADMEN YELLING. I LIKE IT LETS DO IT.

>>2298695

I wonder what she likes in her toasty?

I wish it were my sperm

>>2298626
could you explain this picture

Also sounds like some serious buttfrustrated anon/ex-tripfags are hating on brownbear because of his massive amount of talent. He was the best tripfag on any board, ever. Stories were hilarious. Brownbear, I truly miss you

>on train
>reading Journey to the End of the Night
>hipster girl tries to sit next to me
>7.5/10
>wipe the vomit from the corners of my mouth
>raise my palm and firmly shout 'NO!'
>'but i really enjoyed the chapter about...'
>take off my t-shirt saying:'Nietzsche is dead'
>use it to strangle the incubus who had distracted me from my nihilism