/lit/ - Literature

write what's on your name

everyone remember that lol ?

Gone With The Wind is a really great book. It has sufficient intellect as well as the female emotion that brings it's pages to life. Scarlet is a cunt btw.

>>22904653
>sending out emails to old teachers asking for letter of recommendation
>use old Outlook email that i havent used in forever
Today I checked my email & I just notice for the 1st time that for some reason my profile photo is a picture of a creepy looking old man...
FML
pic rel

>>22904653
Last year was good, really good to me. I have to make/participate in something highly valuable to pay back 1% of my debt to the goodness of the world. I hope I have enough lucidity and fortitude to get there before my time is up.

Hi everyone. Two captchas now, wtf?

>>22904691
>He is accused of holding a 4-year-old boy upside down by his ankles and "whipping his buttocks" and taping three 13-year-old boys' mouths shut with packing tape for talking too much in class.
lmfao

>>22904718
He does a lil trolling

Nuclear holocaust.

The Inuits were called barbarians by the Vikings even though they were the ones invading the Inuits.

Why I do choose better options in the past? Was it all fate?

>>22904691
Just changed it
Hoping since it is still winter break, none of them have checked their email yet...

Fuck, I can't stop blowing my nose from constant rainy nose; I'm cold and can't stop coughing.
I fucking hate this season!

Honestly, I want to thank the algorithms for helping me curate all my different social media accounts. Thanks to them I could create these little worlds of mine.

>>22904960
I cant stop shitting buckets of liquid shit. I couldn't sleep last night because I was up every hour to just dump endless amounts of brown water. My ass hole is raw and chafed from how much wiping I did. I took three showers yesterday just to blast my ass with hot water. Just right now I ate a couple crackers, as if I eat anything else I puke my guts up and I just felt my gut rumbling. This is horrible. This is like a plague sent down to me from God

>>22905044
Just remember that you deserve this

Every day, I become more Slav.

It's impossible for me to stop self sabotaging bros. I overthink every small decision, refuse anything good that comes my way and give up when I try and climb out of the hole

I just learned my grandpa was in the mafia, carried a shotgun with him, and he cheated on my grandma with a hot tall blonde woman, and that's why they got a divorce.

I need a relationship like this.

just watched Saltburn. It wasn't bad

>>22905127
/tv/ said it was a chick flick full of male nudity

>>22905127
What did you think of the bath scene

I can have a couple beers. Nothing bad will happen to me if I drink a little beer.

>>22905100
I have refined pure femdomium by meditating tantrically on the essence of femdom for over a decade. I have shorn femdom of all contingent and merely adventitious contaminants, all toys, all "get-ups," all pornsickness. I am the first femdomfag who does not top from the bottom. I am the Daywalker. I will heal the female race by acting as a focus and conduit for all their negative associations about femdom, and then purifying them in the crucible of my pure unpornly femdom fetish. I simply say "Femdom" and open myself to their pain. I feel a thousand thousand images of rubber toys and stupid spandex suits wash over me like a tidal wave, I see a hundred ex-boyfriend's asinine requests. I navigate through the haze of misery and find the knot holding it all together, the core moment that ruined femdom for them: the critical moment when they were finally getting into it in spite of themselves, finally enjoying it a little bit, and then that one ex-boyfriend interrupted, like a lighting bolt from hell, to top from the bottom and say something retarded and unsexy. I confront the fundamental logical inconsistency of a "submissive" boyfriend who can't even let you enjoy his "submission" because he imposes his own will on it at the crucial moment, and by doing so I unravel the knot of femdom-hate with loving-kindness. In the new space that is created, I reveal the platonic form of a boyfriend who doesn't top from the bottom: a boyfriend who could be doing something you actually find sexy and that he finds sexy and who doesn't then interject with something he saw in a cringe-inducing porno, or try to pose you like an inanimate doll, or write you a laundry list of specific instructions as to how you should dress. Then I share in their joy as they freely move within that space, they, not I, controlling their movements. The first time they say "What if we ...?" I know the treatment has been successful, and they can conceptualize dominating a man on their terms, without feeling like it's about to be crushed like a songbird underneath a slavering retarded chimp with 937 Spankbang tabs open in his brain.

One by one I will heal all the world's women and teach them that femdom is at least somewhat fun. Then begins the long and arduous process of rounding up all the existing femdomfags and pornographers and putting them in concentration camps, as they can't be helped. A new generation must be raised up, ironically free of the bondage of pornographic tropes.

>>22905193
pretty disgusting honestly

>>22903684
Yes, it is directed by Edward Yang and he clearly takes heavy literary inspiration from people like Tolstoy since he has a very panoramic approach to filmmaking

I actually cannot decide on a career path to save my life. I know I want to do something creative, but whether that's drawing, writing, designing or some other shit is completely lost on me. I have fun with most of it, but I'm always scatterbrained when it comes to pinning something down for sure.

I’m really interested in this idea of Oswald Spengler’s that there will be for us a mainstreaming among the elite of an ethical-political philosophy analogous to what Stoicism was for imperial Romans. I’m finding it impossible to identify what exactly it is. He just calls it ethical socialism but that’s not a clearly defined philosophy.

>>22905433
Samuel Francis' Leviathan and its Enemies is basically about this in the long run of the book but it's an extremely difficult book, he basically wrote it only for his personal use and articulation of his thoughts and it was discovered on a series of floppy disks long after his death

>>22904653
I’m about 9 days sober and starting to feel more depressed and lethargic every day.

>>22904653
I ate sauerkraut today and have been braaping like a woopy cushion since

>>22905439
Does he identify any particular school of thought though? Marxism is obviously a potential one. Socialist philosophy is otherwise so disparate that it’s almost impossible to piece together.

>>22905446
based on your use of sober i'm guessing you relied pretty heavily on whatever drug(s)
it takes a while to feel normal again because you've been fucking with your brain chemistry.
i'm talking like a year or more.

FUCK THIS CAPTCHA

I do not understand why some people on this board are obsessed with cuddling herr derr muh cuddle just cuddle a teddy bear or something it’s the same thing fucking rejects.

>>22905470
No im just an alcoholic but Im used to getting drunk more or less every night the past 9 years.

>>22905503
I know it sucks ass

Thinking about enrolling in the graduate program for philosophy or political science.

Person who wishes everyone has a *real* great day, with a stiff smile and intense eyes.
Secretly wishes the world would be nuked to smithereens.

>>22905470
>>22905516
Oh I guess that falls into your categorization. Yeah paws always gets me it sucks ass. Ill at least go a couple months this time to give my liver a break

What's up with people on social media these days? It seems like people are much less likely to talk about multiple interests and only hyper focus on one thing. Artists just post images and barely communicate outside of that, streamers just post about going live and barely anything else, even most people I've seen tend to just play a single game or have a single topic and won't deviate outside of that ever. It feels really weird and alien to me and like the opposite of what the internet was intended for

>>22905530
I just wish there weren't so many mean, stupid, callous, ignorant people surrounding me on a daily basis.

As a regular writing exercise, I've been writing film ''reviews'' or ''essays'', and as I was staring back at my structured thoughts on the screen, I realized just how much of a judgemental and moralizing cunt I seemed to be, especially when dealing with my fellow countrymen's output. I mainly focused on the filmmakers' intent, what they represented, which values they were trying to promote, and making a clear divide between the negative and the positive type of film. All these aforementioned patterns of thought are normally associated with ''the old-fashioned decrepit way of thinking'' you'd encounter when talking with the old guard, something that makes sense considering my rural background.
I really don't know what to make of it. Within me, I feel very enthusiastic about the medium of film itself, but I end up turning into an Adorno-like grouchy dude more often than not. I just genuinely find so much of this lauded stuff to be loaded with bad faith, which i admit is ironic, and I don't want it to potentially harm other impressionable minds through misguidance. Bunuel should not be revered.
Therefore I must ask, what do you consider to be bad faith? and where do you draw the line on someone being genuine with their discontent and someone just being too damn grumpy? Perhaps I'm too sucked in my own bullshit and need some outside perspective to take a breather. It sounds silly, but this tiny issue could be symptomatic of a defective and contradictory inner framework. You never know.

I drift along the ocean
Dead lifeboat in the sun
I come undone

>>22905574
Bad faith in terms of film review I would say is knowingly understanding what the filmmaker was going for, but wording it in a way that makes it seem worse than it actually is. Essentially a metacritic-tier review, or comparing it to a work way about it's paygrade, something along those lines.
I think in your case though it comes across like your thoughts are genuine and reasoning (probably) is sound, but that you possibly might need to tweak your wording or tone a little more in editing to avoid coming across as condescending or overly bitchy. Given the negative leaning of online critique these days though I imagine you'll probably sound fine, as long as you're not retarded. Even then that's not a barrier for entry any more.

>>22904653
The gulf between me and the rest of this site userbase is getting wider

Don't watch this 2012 video of a girl giving a tour of her bookshelf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO2dHOBIgYs

So I can finally stomach food again without puking but every time I eat or drink water my stomach starts roiling and I start shitting out more buckets of shit water. This seriously might be one of the most miserable illnesses I've ever had

>>22905666
Never had food poisoning before eh?

>>22905666
>Those digits
You're gonna die dude

>>22905670
>Never had food poisoning before eh?
Food poisoning isn't normal.

>>22905100
anon, that's not a whip...

You need to be creepmaxxing, you know? You need to be going around taking creepshots under women's skirts, you need to be sniffing women's hair at every opportunity, just the mere sight of a woman must be enough to set in the desire to flash your cock at her, you need to be going around adding your semen to foods and offering it to people, you should be at bathroom stalls setting up cameras rn

>>22904653
>write what's on your mind
Wondering how long this anti white propaganda is going to last? It's already been years and the liberals repeating "nazi, bigot, homophobic" ect is stale and lost its meaning.

I know I'll kill my soul if I pursue the wagelife and never get to writing. I should just start soloRPGing and then writing the stories out for practice and content production for any possible financial avenue. Staying in the sf&f genres should serve both as an ambitious challenge and as something I've come to understand I love and want to do. I want to write flavor text for magic cards. I want to write sword and sorcery smut novellas with buxom women and evil magus cunts. I want to write an optimistic space age exploration comfy paperback chonker.
I quit my job and will do just that, little at a time.

t. swarthy 6'3" esl heathen

>>22905707
It doesn't go up your butt either.

>>22905755
>I want to write flavor text for magic cards
I've always wondered what the process is for that, it's self explanatory for artists but flavour text is such a tiny thing that it brings up all kinds of questions

>>22905693
>food poisoning isn't normal
Whatever that means.

>>22905764
>>22905755
I cant imagine a more soulless micromanaged job than writing mtg flavourtext ESPECIALLY after reading their artists design briefs.
>"Alright we want this card to be EPIC and connect the Jace is constantly getting mind raped subtheme with the badass enemy is effortlessly killed by gurl power and strong female leads trope the set is going for. It also needs to mention these 3 plot elements and have a pithy comeback yo show that our black badass OC doesnt give a shit about anything."

Should I move to the city?

If my career change doesn't work out I'm going to change my investment strategy towards retiring as soon as possible so I can become a NEET and fall off the face of the Earth. I'm tired of people, tired of not understanding them, tired of failing to communicate, tired of fucking things up over and over, and tired of trying to be someone I'm clearly not. I don't want to have friends, or meet a nice girl, or have coworkers who I work well with, or go partying on weekends, or strike up conversations at a bar, or speak to another person unless absolutely necessary. Leave me alone. I want to quietly disappear into a life of sleeping all day and browsing 4chan all night like I'm a teenager during summer vacation again and I don't want to disappoint or hurt anyone ever again.

>>22905951
What are the details of this change?

>>22905977
To put it simply I'm joining one of my country's glownigger organizations. Mostly because I can bail after a few years and work in the private sector with my experience in a couple very specific things but partially because this organization is said to be one of the biggest employers of introverts, autists, and weirdo loners in the nation and I'm hoping that turns out to be true. I don't want to be more specific about this since both the career field I'm leaving and the one I'm going into are very small and I have coworkers who post here.

>>22906004
Got it. I knew someone who was an intel glowie that got a hedge fund job. I’m making a career change too.

I could go get a job in corporate finance or maybe even Wall Street and make six figures immediately but I’m terrified that my life wills amount to nothing more than that of a bean counter.

>>22905949
don't

THE EPSTEIN FILES HAVE JUST BEEN RELEASED

>>22906088
Why?

The only sexual dreams I've had are about a classmate when I was in high school and chubby chicks. I'm not even attracted to chubby chicks, why do I keep dreaming about them in sexual scenarios?

Just ate porn on the cob

peepeepoopoodoodooweewee

Seppuku. That’s what.

What should I dedicate my life to?

>>22906383
Literature

>>22906383
See
>>22906344

>>22904653
USPS and abebooks said they delivered my books yet they aren’t here. That kind of day

>>22906097
it sucks here. well i'm biased cause i'm poor but what's even for in it for the rich these days? all the old subcultures are dead.

It's 8pm and I haven't eaten a single thing yet today

Found out that a lot of the top writers just shove their shit through grammarly. Something about that makes me sad

my brain is wet, sopping

>>22906464
>top writers

>>22906401
I've played it before, but is it really deep enough to dedicate my life to it?

>>22906464
Well I figure what’s in it is some semblance of a social life and dating prospects

>>22905884
What the fuck is this shit. I've never had troubles reading a card before today

9pm, still haven't eaten.

>>22906710
5am, just ate

depression without any creativity

>>22905623
Negative critique as the default stance instead of being born out of pure passion is such a shame. But I suppose it is unavoidable, isn't it?

I could have been so much more. I'm living my worst possible life.

Anyone follow the physicsgirl saga? For some reason I find it fascinating.

>gets married to a beta
>instantly gets incredibly sick with "long covid"
>her friend makes a video of the situation apparently independently of them ("guys we aren't trying to bait donations") featuring the sick girl in a patreon mask
>money starts rolling in
>fast forward months
>other male youtuber friend makes a health update of her
>he makes out like she needs a bigger place (more donations) to recover better despite already living in a really nice house
>he is incredibly manipulative throughout eg "if you subscribed to patreon for videos then I understand unsubscribing since you didn't sign up to fund this" (aka if you care more about entertainment than a sick woman!)

The dude is clearly in love with her with how defensive he is, for example when he says he was planning to visit her he goes out of his way to mention discussing it with his wife and getting approval. Whenever he says something mildly affectionate happened between them he makes sure to bluntly force in the fact that her husband was nearby. It's just a weird feeling, these 'good' youtubers being so manipulative and clearly trying to profit off her sickness. It makes me hate the more openly immoral youtubers less.

>>22905409
Just pick something at random from a list of potentials and try that. If it doesn’t work out then repeat the process until it does.

>>22906882
Too much work.

I've been grappling with a heaviness in my soul for all of last week. Only the rediscovery of my substack alleviated it. I was vaguely upset about not having the proper outlet to release my emotions (sort of like having the artistic countenance but not a sliver of talent dilemma), until I read the shit I'd written a year ago. It wasn't half bad. Overly verbose and meandering maybe. But it was like sifting through a pile of straw. Revelatory and strangely comforting.
Yes, I wasn't the most proficient writer. But writing is the only creative endeavor that came to me naturally and without much force. I will write more often from now on.

>>22906843
Eh, I don’t follow attention whores.
>long Covid
Sounds like a skill issue

Around mid-December it feels like much of this website stopped being as active. Even these threads slowed down considerably. Is it just me?

>>22906723
11pm, just had spanakopitas (sp?) and a Junior McChicken lmao. Gonna try to make a lot of headway in Aberration tonight. I'm reading the ebook so I'm not sure but I think I've finished the book proper and am about to be inundated with the appendices (I'm reading what I assume to be the citations of the last chapter of the book but my Kindle is telling me I have over 2 hours left in the chapter, and there were a fuck ton of citations cause this chapter was extra long). Anyways I'm just browsing /lit/ and /metal/ and am about to make a pot of coffee and have a ciggie before I sit down to read. Oh, and as a side note, speaking of coffee, I discovered this really nice coffee I got for Christmas is not only delicious but goes REALLY well with whipping cream.

>>22906971
"Trying to get in Kling mode" makes me crack up for some inexplicable reason.

>>22906971
7am, just had supermarket sushi. about to have a fag. rereading the part in green man where he talks to god like i have every morning

>>22906971
7am, just had supermarket sushi. about to have a fag. rereading the part in green man where he talks to god like i have every morning

Should I read Conspiracy Against the Human Race?

>>22907024
Read the Bible.

I can't believe how good chatgpt is for practicing Russian

I've realized there people who aren't sensitive but tactful, and those who are sensitive but lack tact. They're not mutually exclusive but it's often one or the other.

Staring quite drunkenly at my plant that comes from a cutting of plant belonging to bill Wilson
Yeah you drunken faggot, rub it in, you made it and I didn't. So what?

This is a word.

give us a word, Abba

>>22907058
Which one are you?

>>22907049
any tips on using it for language learning in general, frendo? I might be needing to get fluent in one in the next 2 years...

>>22907024
No. Kys.

>>22906998
>having a fag
Britbong detected

>>22905721
They have the money, unfortunately. Money and power is the only thing that matters to these fucks.

>>22907142
>Britbong detected
yep well done

>>22907140
For me there are two main benefits. One is that it gives me lots of easily digestible text on (almost) any topic I want, so it's like a better version of reading basic overviews on Wikipedia. The second is that if you want to talk back to it in your target language, it can correct you. You can also do more rapid conversational practice if you tell it to write short conversational replies only, and get it to critique your grammar. I have a custom settings prompt that says something like, always speak to me in Russian, and include a list at the end of your replies of all the grammar I messed up.

This obviously doesn't replace a good textbook or other forms of practice, but to me it perfectly occupies this middle space I never knew how to fill, between the textbook and when I actually feel up to reading and talking to real people. Plus, it's on demand and you don't have to feel bad about being shit at it.

But it only works for Indo-European languages so far, and probably not for obscure ones.

I'M A FUCKING PATRIOT
but the US i love is dead

it's really none of my business

Listening to 80s music and imagining myself as a teenager in 1989 having a romantic weekend with my girlfriend at the mall during the summer. We are listening to “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” as my girlfriend skims through newspaper headlines about Soviet decline. We’re on the way to watching the new Batman movie. I’m suicidal btw

recurring dreams of disembowelment
i'm sure it's fine
i used to have dreams about my teeth but i still have all my teeth
i'm sure my guts will be fine

>>22907206
it's about your mental

>>22907090
Fandango

I had a dream my brother was killed and I was powerless to stop it. Most of the dream was the aftermath and none of my family or friends seemed to care. When I woke up I realised it was a dream but then began to cry for nearly an hour. I feel like something broke in my brain last night, normally dreams don't affect me once I wake up but this one destroyed me.

What is it called when someone legtimizes an idea through opposition to the idea? It happens a lot on /pol/. Some kind of default contrarianism?

There are millions of millionaires and yet, there is no solid formula for becoming a millionaire. You'd really think we would've figured it out by now.

>>22907401
>I realised it was a dream
>but then began to cry for nearly an hour.
This makes no sense, you know it was just a dream so why do you care?

>>22907499
Like I said, it hasn't happened before as I wake up and realise it was a dream then forget about it. I think it was just the residual emotions of thinking my brother was dead.

>>22907505
Fair enough, makes sense.

>>22907103
The first one. I'm blunt and thick skinned. But I also know that I shouldn't blabber my mouth that much because of that. Had to learn to be tactful because I have inadvertently insulted people.

big dicks will rule the world

I've been out of a job for a year and I'm trying to make something work for a long-term career while I throw shit out to as many jobs as possible, but my problem is that I can only think of things in terms of getting as much money as fast as possible despite knowing that doing that is the opposite of helpful. Is there anything I can do to curb this or is it just inevitable at this point?

>>22906184
>I'm not even attracted to chubby chicks
It's time to embrace your true nature

>>22905547
The shift from social media being a place for people to interact with each other on a human level to social media as a platform for people to establish their brand on. The combo of the clear effectiveness of using a twitter account for advertisement coupled with the fear of accidentally saying something people will jump ship over or worse cancel you for has lead to a hellscape of people that talk like their brain is driven by their own personal ad agency.

>>22907773
I'd rather be celibate for the rest of my life, I won't turn into my brother who only dates chubby chicks because deep down he doesn't think he's worth a pretty chick.

Should I fap or have sex with my girlfriend? On one hand, the booty is pretty good. But on the other I'll have to wait like 12 hours. Also, I wish I could meet the autismo that got all the public ips banned for posting sonic porn on /vg/ and /tv/. I'd kick his fucking teeth in.

>>22907837
>gotta wait 12 hours
With that amount of time why not both?

>>22907842
Good point, thanks anon!

>>22907834
Plenty of pretty chubby chicks out there man. Also if you're only having sex dreams about chubby chicks, then maybe YOU don't think you're worth anything else

Ahhhhhhh someone stole my invisibility powers and I need them back ahhhhhhhh

my days consist almost entirely out of reading novels and watching movies

>finally have some time off work
>get sick on the second day
JUST

i miss my buddies from rehab but they ALL relapsed and i also relapsed

>>22904653
I am studying for my phd and a student sent me something the other day... basically it is a guide to schizophrenia, I am in shambles, and I am genuinely afraid to share it with others even though I feel the need to as in the hopes of ensuring I am not actually insane now

>>22908414
>grad students are easily taken in
Tale as old as time

I made a bet with my buddy that there'll be 20 school shootings this year. Looks like we already got one!

i cannot die

Hope everyone is having a *real* great day!

>>22908577
What do you mean by that?

>>22905223
Excellent and underrated post anon

"i'm really not supposed to drink at all" i explain to my grandmother who doesn't understand why it's bad for a man to drink a fifth of gin every day

>>22908591
Nothin' at all stranger! Just hoping everyone has a real good one, a real real real good one!

Im never at the right time and the right time.

>>22907169
alright, thanks. I'll be learning german probably so it will work out it seems

There's something very Mormonoid about the plain-featured mulattos who figure so heavily into the American industries of professional sports and music, though sports in particular.

>>22907438
i guess a type of streisand effect? Cp

I would like one day off from humanity

>>22908549
>autists speedrunning school shootings
Your friend is a retard for taking that bet. Also they really need to bring back mental institutions to deal with all the autismos and schizos. Tired of society having to clean up after those retards and pretend they are people.

i managed to fall out with most of my friends last year. i didn't do anything wrong, just wasn't cool anymore.

I want a simpler life with less stress.

Ki o sakeray kotoshi kun

So on another board this retard was claiming he was making 150k+ off some google certificate he got but he lived in Pittsburg what happened was me and some other anons was trying to explain to him that the money meant nothing because he was in a big city and it will get taxed into oblivion but he refused to listen and try to tell everyone else they can do the same thing like no that’s not how this works there are plenty of electricians who make 100k but they live in big cities so they lose most of the money talking to this guy only made me madder and madder as he kept bringing up stupid points including trying to argue that Pittsburg is NOT a big city dude are you kidding me? He also said his sister did what he did but makes a little bit more money which he attributed to her begin I quote “a pretty girl” which is whatever to me. I know this site is filled with man children who have never worked a job but stupidity like this is why most of you are poor.

>>22904653
Is there a term which describes how everyone in a group doesn't want to do X, but because of the atmosphere generated, everyone is praising X and telling others to do it even tho they're all scared of X?

>>22909098
Peer pressure

>>22909109
>Peer pressure
Eh. With peer pressure the majority of the group wants to do X however

>>22909098
groupthink

I want to scream. I want to bang my head 'gainst the wall. I just want to cry. I can't take it anymore.

I've become a chud

>>22908364
My rehab was kind of shitty but at least there was no alcohol around. The counsellors were all religious fundamentalists, I'm still sober to show them that my mindset is superior.

>>22909093
>Pittsburg is NOT a big city
Everything else aside, he's right about this

>>22909098
What is x in this scenario? Have a hard time thinking of a real situation like this

>>22909217
Let's say for example Joe and his friends joked about going to an abandoned factory. None of them want to do that, but they don't want to be humiliated for not going to said factory, so they all collectively sigh and head straight for it.

how many followers does your x account have

>>22909312
300,000~ but I got some minor fame in a subculture and I botted my followers and engagement to fuck at the start so its really more like a core of 100,000 speaking very optimistically.

>>22909093
>>22909210
Neither of you can have an intelligible position because there is no city named Pittsburg.

I love men. I love man smell, man touch, the male form. I love it when my boyfriend comes home from work and runs his rugged hands down my waist, teasing me before he cops a feel of my ass. As he does this I love feeling the warmth and weight of his body pressing against my back. I practically throw my head back to catch his breath on my neck. I love asking him how his day was as he pulls me closer, greedily running his hands over the rest of my body. I love it when he gets to my undersized masculinity, cups the roadbump forming in my jeans, and he tells me "My days going great now that I have my faggy fuck toy". I love feeling his engorged club rub up against my bottom as he says this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFy6JujnQ1c

People will tell you that your 20s don’t really matter, that they’re all about self-discovery. I realized too late that this bullshit and they think this only because they’re chronic under-achievers and beneficiaries of nepotism.

Everyone I want to hang out with doesn't want to hang out with me, and I don't want to hang out with everyone who wants to hang out with me

>>22907495
There is actually. It was published in a book called Efficiency under a pseudonym several years ago. I’ll save you some time and summarize the book. It says that you can either go to a top school and build a career in finance or tech (nowadays probably just finance would be recommended) or you can start a company and scale it to a $1m valuation and sell. I was a valuation analyst for a large Wall Street bank and I find it pretty much impossible to disagree with this based on what I saw on the job. He even gave cynical Machiavellian advice on what kind of business to start that more or less rings true.

I want a book like the planetarium episode of south park, where someone is using a hypnotic contraption for brainwashing the villagers
>in b4 IJ

I think the fundamental differences in politics nowadays does not stem from the concrete positions you stand for or which you oppose but whether your survival instincts are defective or not. The real question isn't whether you're pro or anti this or that but whether you're a dodo bird or not.

I'm very surprised on how uncomfortable writing on paper is. The exciment to write so many things faded rather quickly.

>>22909760
Back to writing things using the onscreen keyboard with my X-Box controller

waiting for the coffee to induce a BM because i risk shitting myself if i don't

>>22904653
puppets
puppets and antinatalism

Chapter 2.
I know that this is bad for me. And I know what it looks like. Something pitiful and pathetic. A slow suicide. But it's not. I promise. Don't worry. I've got a plan.

Sitting in my car, with the windows down and the engine off and the hot desert wind buffeting my car, pressing my shirt to my chest, ruffling my hair. It's night and nearly one hundred degrees.

Yeah but it's a dry heat, the girl tells me in this way that I think she understands the amusement of cliches like that. But I might be reading to much into her expression. The drive took me a little over eight hours and my tongue is sore from smoking and my right knee is stiff. I already wish I didn't come down but later I'll eat a handful of crystals and then I'll have a different perspective but now I sit in a half empty parking lot and let the wind run through my car.

>>22907495
There's a fool-proof formula, it's called selling your soul. And not in the metaphorical sense.

Too much french toat

>>22909864
Lies

The thought of jews being supremacists and treating gentiles like filthy subhumans gives me a hard-on for some reason.

>>22909169
Based

>>22909859
How to sell soul??

>>22909721
Every political angle could say this about the opposition

>>22904653
>new year new you
lies
>fake it til you make it
I'll never be able to be genuine in my whole life
>just put yourself out there
I just ended up out there by myself
>I'm sure you're some girl's dream guy
if this is true she lived and died 600 years before I was born
>you just haven't met the right girl yet
I meet her all the time in the 2D world
>we're all gonna make it
no we're not

>>22909979
High school is tough but hang in there champ

>>22909941
Ok schlomo

Let's say it's true, the Jew will control humanity by degrading the quality/resistance -capable over time...

Would they honestly be happy ruling over a society mirroring the content of the worst Anti-woke/tiktok youtube channels?

How would they feel about their 'accomplishment'?

The decline in birth rates, the divorce rates, morbid obesity, 'no child left behind' curriculum, complete control over congressional foreign aid, media discourse, quality of netlix/hollywood remakes..etc

Why would they be happy?

there i go again, dwelling in the past. wallowing in what couldn't last. those missed moments which hurt so bad,
are incomparable to the moments to be had, but I just can't help but let it affect me. it's an infection that makes it hard to see, so you long for the past, yet dread what you did; if only you could go back and be less stupid

>>22909985
I'm 35

>>22909987
They aren't as smart or thoughtful as you think, they won't rule forever. I'm not Jewish btw. Also, I meant hard-on literally, it's hot.

we should apply georgism to women

My name is Richard and i kind to suck love ducks and our money fucks in my ass and I'm a fat bugger who drives to the grocery sorry to but some bigger candy to put between my car ninety lips. Every single money makes me fucking such to my stomach just to think about then. I'm going to Matt with coming like until my duck is draw and changed. I hope a giant house stumps on my couch with is feet. Whenever i see my friend Perry bit I say hello there you Dublin ninety I'll run your fuel with my car cum off bugger achievements

>>22910007
It's illogical, you must be trolling

>>22909987
no one wants to be happy

At the gym today i noticed this girl staring
Girls always do that thing where they quickly glance back at you but then turn their head back
Maybe I was just imagining it
Too much of a pussy to ever do anything

>>22909721
Politics reduces down to subjective elements of personality that are not consciously chosen
Like you can look at a person's face and tell their political "orientation"
It's all pretty meaningless
Questions of value, real argument about those value differences doesn't really seem to exist anymore
Instead what side you are on is just nothing more than a superficial social signal

>>22909618
>He even gave cynical Machiavellian advice on what kind of business to start that more or less rings true.
What kind of business?

The mtg streamer I like sent me an email. I'm pretty fucking jazzed.

When people say "society is collapsing" I think it's true. We tend to interpret "society" as a catch-all term for social order, so in these terms a societal collapse would mean everyone running to the ATMs and doing withdrawals, gas stations running out of gas, supply chain disruption, etc.
But in another sense, society is greater than these things. Society is the super-structure built on top of this stuff. It's the web of people, culture, ideas, beliefs, and interpersonal relations which the economy and supply chain are designed to maintain. If you think about the Great Depression or the Dust Bowl, economic collapse happened but I wouldn't call this societal collapse. Society was more like the bonds linking people together, and they were very strong which helped them survive.

They say a massive % of zoomers want to become homesteaders. If this isn't proof of societal collapse, what is? The supply chain is fine, economy is good, and the banks are okay, but society itself is really not doing too hot.

Reading a history book is less like being given a guided tour through the subject and more like an interrogation between the reader and the author. It's not a question of whether the author has an ulterior motive, an agenda, but where the rhetorical sleight of hand happens in the narrative. It is the reader's role to dissect the narrative presented rather than accept it without critique.

>>22910160
Let's hope that the fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth.

>>22910160
Youre an idiot. None of those things are fine. Zoomers want to be homesteaders because they see the rot of current society and want out.

>Job application is asking me for two references and they aren't allowed to be family or friends.
>I don't know anyone other than my family and friends.

>>22910160
They want to be homesteaders so they can live out their internet and drug addictions in peace. They don't want to be homesteaders in the Platoist sense where they live on bare minimum, have a family, eat and live simply, sing songs to god around the fire, etc. They want to be homesteaders because they're selfish, not because they're simple and grounded in God. I hope I'm wrong but this is what it seems to me

>>22910219
I don't think Zoomers want to be homesteaders, I think they know it's the only suitable option so their hands are kind of forced.

>>22910236
Put down a family members phone number with a fake name. Tell family member. Its that simple.

>>22910236
put down one of your friends numbers and tell them they might get a call about you soon and they should pretend to be a former supervisor of yours

>>22910041
The secret truth no one ever talks about is women check out men at the gym just as much as men check out women. I'm no Mr. Universe but I'm lean and muscular and I catch women looking at me all the time. I'm too much of a pussy to say anything either, though.

>>22910242
Youre a prick. Youre assigning blame to the youngest generation for the failings of previous generations and bad mouthing their intentions. If they are selfish for wanting to escape what they were born into, then what are you, who allowed this misery to happen?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHly-CRd1t8

>>22909760
it's like anything, submit yourself to the custom of writing on paper regularly, and it will become easy and more natural, neat, and quick. I almost exclusively write by hand now.

>>22910259
brother bear, I work with Gen Zers all day and am borderline/by some accounts Gen Z myself one (born in 96), they all want to abandon society to live out their little vices and addictions in peace instead of become encorporate with it and change/improve it for the better. They are cowards. Now just be happy I called you my favorite movie.

>>22910275
You might have a point. I'm a fringe year zoomer and I frequently think about buying a little patch of land and a prefab cabin kit and fucking off. But realistically I'd probably end up building a still and drinking myself to death with nobody around to call me out on it

>>22910275
Those vices they have are a result of the stewardship of previous generations. You originally assigned ideals and morales to homesteading, as if the first homesteaders had those virtues, and werent just people trying to get out from under. Homesteading is not some puritanical godly thing, its farming.

>>22910285
my goal is to by a used cargo van by the end of this year, gut it, and post up in someones vaccant lot for $200 a month and keep working at bars. Eventually I'd like to open my own little cafe and put my private library in one section with a few couches and chairs, and in the back have a little projector running arthouse/experimental films all day. The drinks will be named after my favorite authors and books/book characters. It's a realistic dream, hopefully it can happen by my 40's if I save up the cash. Baby steps. And assuming I don't off myself before then.

>>22910288
no those vices are the result of their own lack of self control, critical thinking, and discipline. Or what, did previous generations force them to be on TikTok all day, and be high 24/7? On the contrary, older generations bemoan the downfall of youth today, and their lack of discipline and selfcontrol. Get a clue.

>>22910242
>the Platoist sense
Lmao
Think you meant "platonic"

>>22910297
Their parents sat them infront of ipads and tablets and tvs from a very young age. Then, adults showed them the internet and literally created tok tok and allowed them to access it. What did you expect to happen? Older generations shaped and moulded the minds, society, norms and values of those younger generations and then threw up their hands and complained when their children didnt meet an ideal (an ideal that they did not reinforce nor teach nor emulate.) You get a clue you fucking idiot

>>22909852
Not bad anon. First two paragraphs are good, last ones a bit all over the place . Not a fan of authors who write about drug use as a means to have an experience but I do think you have talent that can improve greatly if you take it seriously.

>>22910160
Totally agree with this, I came to this conclusion around 2019. Society in a sense is collapsing but our whole civilization isn’t.

Yet.

>>22910306
My parents sat me in front of tv, video games, and a computer and I'm not and have never been addicted to those things, and neither hasy age group been really. I understand you are bitter and resentful towards previous generations for your own lack of willpower and selfcontrol but take a look in the mirror, the only thing that will fix it is you, not running off to start a farm.

>>22910303
Platoist is the proper term as not to confuse it with "platonic" viz a platonic relationship. Xenophon and Epictetus called those who followed Plato's teachings "platoists", not Platonics. So, no, I did not mean "Platonic", I meant Platoist.

There's a time for restraint and a time for indulgence. The feast always comes after a period of fasting. In medieval Christendom the end of Lent culminated in the carnivals, in which indulgence and sinning was practically encouraged
Restraint is good in so far as it teaches a person to plan and think long term
However moderate indulgence isn't bad either. If you never get to enjoy anything, then what was the point of working so hard?
I tend to think the people whining about hedonism and over indulgence on here are either projecting or are jealous that others get to indulge in things they cant
Everyone wants something

>>22910321
Cope

>>22910331
>>22910321
The correct term for a follower of Plato is a "Platonist" you fucking retard

>>22910328
*carnivale

>>22910335
You're right, it is Platonist, not Platoist. Though I don't like being called a fucking retard, thanks for the reminder.

>>22910314
Youre mistaken, Im not a zoomer. But I understand their plight. They were born into a society that has forgotten its ideals and they were raised poorly. They do not want to participate in this society in the same manner as the original colonists to America.

Youre delusional if you think the parenting style is in anyway similar to previous generations. Its been a slow decay of absenteeism and digital progoganda from a young age. You yourself brought up tik tok, a social network created by older generations, forced via propoganda onto younger generations. Sega and Playstation cannot compete to the quality and quantity of digital material that is forced on them.

>>22910328
The time for indulgence, for a Christian, are the feast days, and they're built into the liturgical calender. The only really acceptable time to indulge in any secular capacity is someones birthday. But indulgence in a secular manner should never be encouraged.

>>22908190
...based /neet/?

>>22910346
>But indulgence in a secular manner should never be encouraged.
The very concept of a divide between secular v.s religious being distinct is a modern concept.
>The only really acceptable time to indulge in any secular capacity is someones birthday.
Lol why specifically *only* a birthday? Nothing wrong with moderate indulgence. It's a balancing act. I
Some indulgence can be good especially after a period of restraint as a kind of reward. Hence why so often in many cultures the end of a period of fasting culminates in feasting
Restraint is a virtue in so far as it hardens a person, and gives them the strength and perseverance to withstand periods of adversity.
Valorising denial of pleasure for its own sake is indulgent masochism

>>22906562
based /skelly/ anon

If I had a billion dollars I would hire homeless people to farm hairy spiders and harvest their pubes. Then I would knit a suit made of spider pubes and I would wear it to every important event I would attend.

Should I try to crowdfund this?

I would destroy solitary confinement, Mr Beast is a bitch for barely lasting 7 days.

>>22910374
Then I would make them harvest the pubes of other critters like bees and caterpillars. I would create a collection of elaborate pube suits with embroidery portraying important historical events. Upon my death, I would donate my suits to a museum and my legacy would live on forever.

>>22910370
I guess we need to define indulgence. Indulgence to me is going beyond what is neccesary. I eat and then am full, so I stop eating. I haven't induldgeded. But then I have a slice of cake though I'm full Now I'm indulging
I sip a beer or glass of wine over 3 or 4 hours and maintained my wits about me the entire time. I haven't induldged. Now I drink 3 glasses of wine over 2 hours and feel buzzed/drunk. Now I've induldged. That's indulgent to me, but maybe not to everyone.

>secular vs. religious

I wouldn't say it's a modern distinction, but it is of the last 50 or 60 years in America. As we've become less religious as a society, the distinction has grown more and more prevalent. All secular means is a non-religious context, or a context not pertaining to Christian doctrine, dogma, and practice. So a public school, for example, is secular, whereas a private Christian school or school at a church is not.

Seems to me there may be slight disagreance between us, but not opposition.

>>22910374
>>22910390
gross anon

>>22910393
>Now I drink 3 glasses of wine over 2 hours and feel buzzed/drunk. Now I've induldged. That's indulgent to me, but maybe not to everyone.
I agree with that definition. I just believe there's nothing wrong with now & then having 3 glasses of wine and partying a little.
As long as it is a once in a while kind of thing. Though even doing that a couple times a week really isn't so bad
Over indulgence is fine so lomg as it is balanced and a person can balance it with being able to restraint, inhibit their want for short term pleasure when needed
>I wouldn't say it's a modern distinction, but it is of the last 50 or 60 years in America. As we've become less religious as a society,
In a society where religion is thoroughly embedded into every facet of society, culture, and power there is necessarily no concept of secular.
By modern however i am using that term broadly, as the notion of secularism starts to become defined and popularized in the enlightenment period

After a great deal of time never-meeting-or-talking-to-girls, I talked to a chick at the bus stop yesterday.
She wasn't hot, but at least she wasn't fat.
Her face was, I don't know how else to describe it, lumpy.
Like pre-diabetes people get sometimes.
I had a classmate in my home economics in high school.
Not the worst class, and I actually learned shit in there.
Me and a couple buddies learned how to make bread dough from scratch and actually made good yummy homemade bread when I went stay overnight a few times. Those times were because his mom drank a lot, like nonstop party and getting boned every week.
So she was basically an absentee mother most of the month. I don't think I ever saw her sober or amazingly hungover for many years.
My friend's dad died in a mining accident and this is what supported him and his younger brother and their mothers drunk and cock habit.
So when we stayed at his place, we actually had fun cooking stuff we learned in home economics.
I also got wise in using a sewing machine and hand stitching. I still use that skill way into my adult life, the hand sewing. Fixing my clothing and repairing my backpack, making my gear better.
Anyway, a tall fat kid was in the class a few semesters.
He was FAS. So a bit retarded, but could think and speak like a five to seven year old. Not a bad kid and always seemed guinely happy to be out of special ed.
I met him like twenty years after high school and we shook hands and hugged like old pals.
He still had that natural cheer.
His mom and two sisters died after graduation and he really had no family that would caretake over him, too many druggies and drunks.
He said he lived in a group home since he was eighteen.
He looked almost exactly the same like in school, except for white hair and a lumpy face.
With black filling in the creases between the lumps.
This was home that girl looked.

I'm never gonna live the life I wanna live or do the things I wanna do so I may as well kill myself, right? Like, that's smarter than choosing to live in sadness and despair every day.

>>22904653
Anons are there any books I absolutely must read before my inevitable death by suicide?

I can't stand it. My chest is going to burst open like a Carpenter prop. The back of a phone case is so maddening. It makes me dizzy. Dizzy enough to maybe finally get the fizzy drink feeling to errupt. I can't let my feelings of jealousy and worry come out audibly, something catastrophic is bound to happen. Not as catastrophic as keeping it in. Right? Maybe I can just keep reading and hope it goes away.

>>22910409
>I just believe there's nothing wrong with now & then having 3 glasses of wine and partying a little.
>Though even doing that a couple times a week really isn't so bad
That's where we clearly disagree then. There is nothing wrong with attending a party, but getting drunk is never acceptable. Christ and the Apostles demand sobriety out of us in no uncertain terms. You can still have fun at parties while sober. Why just two nights ago we had our company Christmas party, I didn't have a drop of liquor, and I had a blast.

>Over indulgence is fine so lomg as it is balanced and a person can balance it with being able to restraint, inhibit their want for short term pleasure when needed
I still disagree. The more you induldge, the more difficult it is to restrain. It slowly starts to take over. This is why Christ and the apostles demand sobriety. Did Christ ever get drunk? Did the Apostles? Never. And their lives are emblematic of how we should live ares, and how we are called to live.

>In a society where religion is thoroughly embedded into every facet of society, culture, and power there is necessarily no concept of secular.
Right, I agree. But our American society is so far removed from anything overtly deist, let alone religious. Children can't even pray to start class anymore like we used to in the 90's/early 2000's, and they don't even pledge allegience anymore because it talks of God. This is a stark contrast to the 19th/early 20th century where religion was truly embedded in the fabric of our society, and there was no such thing as secular. You're right in saying "secular" is a more modern, sociological term. You're using the term broadly but I understand what you mean.

>>22910255
>women check out men at the gym just as much as men check out women.
They're not even subtle. Men, or at least me personally, i don't usually stare directly.
Women checking guys out abruptly look over their shoulder directly at you pausing long enough to make it noticeable
They remind me of how rats will move forward to get a piece of food & then abruptly jump back out of fear lol
Women are weird sometimes

>>22910462
>getting drunk is never acceptable. Christ and the Apostles demand sobriety out of us in no uncertain terms. You can still have fun at parties while sober.
Good lord, have a drink you could clearly use one
It's not that big of a deal

>>22910463
True, they do long stare. I try to catch glimpses but they'll just hold the stare for lik 10 seconds.

>>22910468
Having a drink is one thing, getting drunk is another. Having a drink isn't a big deal, getting drunk is. I thought I had been very clear on this, evidently not.

>>22910470
Suit yourself, more for me

>>22910473
Just be careful anon. I've lost too many friends to alcoholism.

I still love my ex, almost 1 year after us breaking up. we broke up in europe. i wanted to paint other women with her, we were supposed to be degenerate together, she changed her mind. We spoke tonight and told eachother how we loved one another, we saw eachother last month as well. I've never wanted to tell someone so badly a year after parting that i love them and how i want the best for them. I teared up on the phone tonight, she was sick. I have to go to art school anyway in London for a few years if i hope to achieve any fame in life. I know in a way its not meant to be, she wants to be married and I can't give her that. But i want my love for her to last forever, and she feels the same way. Its been 4 years in march since ive met her. I thought we were just going to use eachother for convenience then, i was just hurting myself though.

>>22910521
Anon I don't know all the details but I do know the best thing to do with a broken heart over a girl you are pining for that will "never be" is to severe all contact. It's for the best. What country do you live in btw?

I wrote this today because my friend is from Upstate NY

The upstate New Yorker leads a life of toil, poverty and backwardness; a life for which the tasks necessary for survival expend every drop of his strength. How could this wretched creature, worn thinner each day by his own situation and by his superior counterpart, the downstater, find a reason to carry out his bleak existence? It is because deep within him he kindles hope. A hope whose illogic is enshrined in its object: his beloved Buffalo Bills. Yes, our tragic hero week in and week out drags himself, battered and bruised from the tempestuousness of his life, clinging with white knuckles onto the precipice of existence, in front of his television set—that blue-lit shrine—and takes communion with beer and pretzel. His Bills appear at the pulpit and dangle tantalizing salvation. Without fail, he reaches out to accept it. And without fail, the Bills betray him. Each missed field goal hits its mark in his spirit; each turnover snatches away his will to live; each biased call from the referee usurps his self-determination. His only escape is the advertisements that play every minute, but they too conspire against him, for they triple the length of his torture. Finally, the game ends. The Bills sink back into the depths of Hell. The shine goes dark.

For a moment, his hope is extinguished. With his mind no longer blinded, he can contemplate the futility of his existence. He stares into an abyss deeper than the game’s score differential; staring back at him is the end. A single tear rolls down his cheek, and he prepares himself for release. Yet that cruel, merciless, ruthless hope returns in force to redouble the chains that imprison his soul within his body. “We… we’ll get ‘em next week.” And so he will not be put out of his misery quite yet. He will continue to limp forward aimlessly towards nothing.

>>22910530
I lol'd anon, very funny

>>22910470
getting drunk isn't a sin (although it's certainly not good). only habitual drunkenness is a sin. having a few too many from time to time does not endanger your soul

>>22910571
Yeah just shake it off

>>22910571
Getting drunk is absolutely a sin- Paul, James, Peter, and Jude cite it numerous times as a sin in their Epistles. This is pure cope and delusion.

Books make happy learn understand everything read easier. Read little end reading okay. Know things okay too. Reading big adventure find new words books friends help understand world. Words mean confusing okay. Still learning matters fun journey go more find cool learning awesome! Every day, read books, happy learning many things. If don't understand everything, reading more make easier understand. Even read little, seems like end reading more, okay. Know things okay too. Reading like big adventure find new words stories, exciting. Words books like friends help understand world. Think words mean confusing okay. Still learning matters fun journey go more find cool learning awesome!

>>22910615
Tyler1 tier stream-title writing (so it's based)

>>22904653
Raw meat dipped in sauce withsalt.
Mmmmmm

>>22904653
Right now I sit in one of two possible universes, and I don't yet know which one it is.
It could be absolutely horrible.
Or it could be alright.
The probability that I am in one, versus the other, increases the longer the universe I experience resembles that possible universe.
Right now the probability is roughly 50-50.
The likelihood of the horrible universe will increase for another six months or so, then peak; after which the likelihood of the OK universe will increase.
If I have not definitively slipped into the horrible universe in 18-24 months, it is highly probable I will be in the alright universe.
Once I'm in the alright universe, it is likely that universe will split into two possible universes, one that is absolutely horrible, and one that is alright...

does my cat know i love her???

>>22910770
Yes.

>>22910786
thank God

Had a dream last night where I was pissing all over the bathroom and then woke up to discover I had pissed myself. Wtf for sure. I'm scared it'll happen again. I'll never tell a soul.

for some reason found myself explaining yukio mishima to my dad
he started talking about haruki murakami and i remembered why i don't talk to dad about books

>>22910802
I did that once, in 1st grade. In my dream I was standing in front of the toilet. I actually pulled down the front of my underwear in my sleep before I cut loose.

>>22904653
Been thinking about an exchange with my ex a few years ago

She told me that her family didn't have a car when she was younger and then I told her I didn't believe her. She said that that was true and that her father didn't get his license till his mid-30s. I got cocky and told her that I didn't believe her either and that this was all an excuse for her not to learn driving (we were 23 at the time and she just didn't want to get a license). Slowly I realized that they legit were super poor and I was being so rude and arrogant to her. I apologized back when I realized back then but throughout the years I have carried this with me because I am so sad and upset that I could've possibly belittled someone I deeply loved

>>22910526
Well you know, i'm ok, she's cutting contact with me mostly, idk, i want to believe a love can last forever, i feel like love is more special when youre not together and can still say i love you a year later. It's rare to meet someone like that. But i really don't think we're meant to be in a marriage full time or something like hat. I know what you're saying. I don't know ive dated dozens of other women in my life time but you get hung up on one sometimes for a long time. I'm just spilling my story. It's nothing too interesting. I live in america, but i hope to live in europe/england the next 3-4 years.

The Fire of Hell is Within You

>>22910802
Pissing the bed isn't such a big deal. I've had a dream like that. I also once had a UTI that made me piss the bed a couple times. It was great fun!

>>22904653
>Had falling out with uncle (blood aunties husband) over a decade ago
>Haven't spoken in over a decade though I haven't been upset over what we fell out over in years
>She dies
>Understandably my cousins and uncle don't want to see me or be at the funeral/viewing.

I dropped my mother off. I'm still waiting outside the viewing. Should I just let it all go and considerately dead to them?

I do have a lot of regret but pride took the better of me. Had a chance to visit her when she was in hospital a few months ago (and subsequently the months that lead to her death) but never had the courage to do so due to pride and feeling like I wasn't welcome.

>>22910966
>Should I just let it all go and considerately dead to them?

Should I just consider myself as being dead to them or should I try to wait it out at catch one of them outside to apologise or something. Or is that too much potential unnecessary drama and just let everything go by doing nothing. And then let the chips fall?

Before I dropped my mother off I told her to tell them I'm sorry. Should I text her not to say anything and just let whatever happens happen?

i am going to commit the heinous, unforgivable crime of suicide

I have cried 5 times today because I am leaving home tomorrow for 3 years

>>22911047
I haven't cried in five years, no I'm not trying to brag, yes I do think this is unhealthy.

>>22911069
You must cry if you feel like it anon. The greatest literary artists in history held together all their feelings until they simply had to cry. Great feeling is great art.

>>22910980
Why?

>>22911086
Nta but crying is for pretty people. I used to work for a funeral home, I have a lot of experience with people grieving, and one thing I noticed is the better looking a person is the more likely they are to cry. Short, ugly men never ever cried. Tall, buff, handsome men cried the most.

Being strong of will is being able to dream about pissing while not pissing your bed irl

>>22911098
Very interesting observation. Maybe you're from a godless, individualistic, emotionally-repressed country? Is it any instinctual behavior or something else?

I have unfortunately gone to a lot of funerals in my life and have never made a correlation between attractiveness and cryingness. The only thing I've noticed is that the closer one was to the deceased, the more they cry, unless you are the eldest son. They end up being the ones holding everything together.

>>22911102
The best is when you have the orgasm of your life in your dreams and then wake up only to find out you have not actually cum so you can then proceed to have the greatest wank of all time

I take a shit.
Flush, then stare at it as it slowly disappears into the grand nothingness.
It stares back.
Am I a human who is dreaming of being shit?
Or am I a shit who is dreaming of being human?
At this point, not even the Gods can tell...

>>22904653
All I want to do is plug my phone into my laptop and transfer my music files. I have been trying to do this for the last half hour. I am about to stroke out. When I plug it in, it automatically opens Windows Player, and doesn't show my fucking files. When I try to open it over systems, it doesn't show my fucking files. When I try to connect it via bluetooth, it doesn't find my fucking phone. How the fuck is this so difficult?

There has never been a God. There has only been man's belief in God.

>>22911069
crying is healthy tho

>>22911086
I don't feel like crying, but I feel like even when I inevitably do in the future, I won't, I'll suppress it, I don't know why I feel I must do this.

>>22911156
I'm aware, I did acknowledge that.

>>22911161
That is alright, my son. Just know that if you want to cry, you can. This life is short and meaningless. A few drops of salty water from your eyes will change absolutely nothing but might help ease your burden just a bit.

I can't feel love for humans, I can really like them but I cannot love them, they must've forgotten to connect those wires in my brain when they were making me.

>>22911168
I'll cry again if I ever see the sunset in Cannon Beach, that'll bring me to tears. I just don't want anyone to see me cry if I ever do it, I hate bringing attention to myself and I hate the "there there's" and the "it's OK's".

Really tired of my own bullshit but I am not a great enough man to cut it all out.
In the past whenever I did something retarded I would feel an extreme self-hate, this would in turn stabilize my emotional condition and encourage me to do objectively good deeds to sort of erode the "sin" that made me feel an outburst in the first place. Now I can't even feel this self-hatred, in my head I just go "Oh look, the retard did his thing again!" and that's it. Not even any hatred, just a sort of dull acknowledgement of my deed and tiredness.

>>22911174
It's alright, anon. There do exist some people who will be simply, assuredly, wordlessly be right next to you as you weep uncontrollably. Their emotional strength and solidity will help you cry until balance. Perhaps you will meet such a person. Perhaps you will see the sunrise together at Cannon Beach. I'm hoping you do.

>>22911188
>There do exist some people who will be simply, assuredly, wordlessly be right next to you as you weep uncontrollably.
That would be nice, I would like that. I would like for them to sit beside me on the sand while the rising sun forces the tears out of my tear ducts and down my face, I want them, when I'm done, to act like I never did it, I want them to never bring it up. Who knows? Maybe I won't even cry if I ever get to see it, maybe it won't bring on tears, maybe I'm lying when I say it'll make me cry, I think I am, I don't see how a sunrise would make me cry, it would be sick to see but I don't think it's tear-worthy. Thanks for your kind words, anon, you seem like a nice person.

>delivery guy delivered my package to the wrong side of the city
>trying to authenticate my ID to other payment company
>can't use normal verification because nerve damage fucks with their keystroke authentication
>can't take non blurry picture of ID because nerve damage
happy birthday to me

>>22911366
Probably wasn't the delivery guys fault if it wasn't delivered to your next door neighbor or something

>>22911377
I think they just panicked about delivery windows and took a photo of it in front of the nearest house to not be late. Idk how else to explain where they delivered it

>>22911366
call the delivery service center or whatever.

I’m really at a loss over what to do about my job this year.

I feel like everything will end this year and that thought scares me. But it's scarier to think that everything will continue and just get worse.

playing Mirror's Edge atm. Such a neat game and was such a good year for gaming

>>22910802
>I'll never tell a soul
You told us anon...one time I had eaten a bunch of wings and chili at a superbowl party and I usually never eat greasy/spicy food like that, and I sharted in my bed that night. Literally shit the bed

>>22910835
I wouldn't beat yourself up over something like that. Aknowledge the wrong, see to it you never act like that again, and move forward. You should view your remorse as a good sign, not many people care enough to look back and aknowledge their mistakes

>>22911759
I've shat the bed far more times than I've pissed the bed. IBS coupled with a bad cough (common cold, flu, COVID) will do that.

My Grandpa passed away this morning. Now, all my grandparents on both sides are dead.

>>22911796
Grandpa got run over by a reindeer...wait too late

>>22911801
First of all, the song is 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer', not Grandpa. And he passed away peacefully in his sleep. He had been bedridden for 6 months or so, barely eating or drinking, he was ready to die.

thinking of getting some wine

new
>>22911844