/lit/ - Literature

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan 'Press On!' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
-Calvin Coolidge

there’s still time to join the f games and be crowned the greatest writer in the world (after gardner)

anon said that talent is everything

>>22710243
The greatest president ever. The last truly honest man to hold the office. Oh how I love him.

>>22710243
Genius is just a person with overwhelming talent.
If you are not persistent in your education, if you don't hold to the ideals behind quality education, you won't really be educated.

>>22710320
There's no such thing as talent, everything is learned and developed. Some people have more support in their formative years than others, and we assume these people to be "talented" because they have been taught at home and exposed to information others their age have not been.
In truth you need two things: hard work and a willingness to surrender to your subconcsious. Your subconscious knows things you don't, but the things it knows come only through the data you give it. Feed your mind and it will in turn feed you, and you need to develop the skills required to work with the materials it gives you.
This is my wisdom as a 30-something loser who has never had anything published outside two pages of the Coronameron

I'll never finish my book's first draft. I don't know grammar, punctuation, flow, mood, tone, sentence structure, spelling, or even how to write a plot that'll be understandable to another human being.

>>22710709
Ok, start your next book immediately. You need like 10 books under your belt before you aren't shit.

>>22710709
How about finishing it though? Just a thought.

>>22710709
You’re in the right place.
>he typed ironically, realizing as he solved the captcha that it was more post irony than irony and that in the end he hoped anon was himself shitposting and not being a self deprecating failure.

Is it worth paying for an editor before I send it to agents to hopefully get traditionally published? Or do I just self-edit, and hope the publisher edits it after selling my manuscript?

What's your opinion on the use of onomatopoeia?

>>22710766

>>22710747
Always edit. Always fucking edit. Do you think they’re going to read past page one if there are minor errors or it lacks that perfect flow? Do you turn in your essays to your teacher without editing them because you know she’ll red line them for you? Do you turn in work to your boss knowing they’ll catch it before it gets sent out?

>>22710770
That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if it'll be worth it to hire an editor before you send it out, or just self edit?

Worth going in $2000 in the hole before you even have a deal?

>>22710783
If you don't know how to edit your own work, no amount of money you throw at editors is going to result in anything worth publishing. Freelance editors are basically writers who can't produce content and may exist only by milking retards like you.

>>22710253

>>22710709
What makes you want to be a writer, exactly, if you have no facility for it?

Is there any reason for me to not tag my serial with 'progression' when it's not really progression? It's impossible to get on rising stars without it or 'LitRPG' and it's such a vaguely defined tag that I'm pretty sure other people are using it incorrectly too with no consequence.

Worth it trying to factor in an antagonist group of hillbilly rednecks who are also interested in the Samsquanch and it becomes a cat and mouse game between my MC and them in the woods or should it just be my main character loses all dissonance with reality while coping with the isolation on the chase

>>22711328
If people pick up your story because you promised progression and then there's no progression, they'll just drop it and give a bad rating. You're not getting on rising stars either way without stats or strong social media presence

>>22711406
The way the algorithm works I'm not sure that bad ratings are worse than no ratings.

>>22711409
Nobody is going to even look at your fiction if it has a bad rating average. Which is anything less than 4.

>>22711431
I DO look at fiction that is less than 4 precisely because it is less likely to be the usual LitRPG drivel.

>>22711436
Well, you do you. But the users at RR are generally good-intending normalfags and if a work is so bad they can't bring themselves to give it 4-5 stars, then most of the time it really is something pretty fucking awful.

The nig nogged
Nog you nig
nig nog, go

>>22711473
Calm down Joyce.

>writing story
>add about 15 pages in a session
>using Evernote which autosaves to a cloud
>dont do much for a month
>go back
>its all gone
>think Im going insane
>check my "pieces" notes
>clearly strikethroughed the parts of the note I copied to the other note and adjusted

just fucking gone and its nowhere in the history too.
how can they fuck this up? all they have to do is autosave content

>>22711505
This is what you get relying on meme software for your writing. The simpler the text processor the better and no cloud bullshit

I want to thank the negative anon from the other thread.
His resistance has made my writing boner stronger.

>>22711507
you should be using both. you'd be stupid to not save work on the cloud in currentyear
im talking microsoft or google docs though

>>22711507
yeah well I used it for 8 years with 0 issues
what pisses me off the most is that it saved "logs" that I indeed made changes to the document, but when I go to the history of said files theyre all exact copies.

so somehow, it fucking remembers that I made changes, but it didnt save the changes I made

fucking garbage ass service. How can they fuck up something so incredibly simple

>>22711507
>Microsoft Word 2010 (cracked)
>saved locally and automatically backed up to my OneDrive
Works wonders. Sometimes I use Scrivener instead of word but it depends.

>>22711672
>2010
Get on my level, I use MS Word 2002

The writing wont come

>>22711763
how so

>Only have a few chapters to go
>word count 26000
If I go back and add stuff it will be blatant padding.

>>22712130
If that's all you have to say then keep it short, otherwise add a couple of interesting subplots or tangents.

How important do you consider descriptions when it comes to fiction? I'm writing a "low" fantasy novel that mostly takes place inside one city and I always struggle when describing things (such as, when character X travels from point A to point B) and as a result most of the text boils down to conversations, dialogues, scheming and action scenes

>>22712279
Yes, I consider writing important in a book.

>>22711538
It won't be long before companies fund laws that say anything stored in their cloud is theirs to use and then you'll weep because you didn't see such an obvious development coming

>>22712340
>>22712279
you are a moron

>>22712279
Compelling description is a lost art these days 2bh. We've gone way, way too far into minimalism to the point where people like you never develop the simple basic skill of setting the scene in a way that doesn't feel perfunctory. The fundamental task is this: every descriptive sentence should bluntly reiterate a theme. You don't need to be coy about it because already most readers won't get it, but they won't complain because it will feel right to them.

Is it wrong if I stray away from the common vernacular, even using phrases that I know are not used, yet whose usage in my text (within the context that I provide) makes it clear what I'm aiming for?

For example, I'm tired of using the phrase "his gaze was fixed (southward)", so I might try using "his gaze was lost over to the south", which is one example I came up with right on the spot.

>>22712511
I think it'll be fine if you don't abuse it. Writers are allowed to do all sorts of cooky shit with language.

That being said if you abuse it, people will just ask "what the fuck did he mean by this" at a description of someone walking, instead of some deep theme or message as you'd probably intend.

>>22710769
Was thinking of using
>Shhhk
To illustrate someone menacingly limping down a hallway while supporting themselves on the wall

>>22712511
This is the impossible question. You have to ask yourself whether it fits naturally into its surroundings or whether it sticks out and makes the reader think you're trying to be clever and weird for the sake of it. But that's a very vibes-based judgement. There's another side of it, which is that, if your phrases are feeling very flat and worn out, you should ask whether artificially zesting up the language will really fix things, or whether the problem is a deeper lack of energy in your story.

>>22710253
F Games is ridiculous. It’s like an anime arc where the villain holds a tournament

Writing a philosophy book, feeling self conscious about style rather than substance which i guess is better than the other way around but damn it sucks

>>22710229
I'm sorry, I posted this elsewhere, but nobody is writing back. This is a short story I wrote today. Please be honest and hold back on being brutal.

On a cool November evening, the farmer was checking in on his hens laying eggs. He noticed one of the hens not laying eggs and encouraging the others to not lay eggs anymore. The farmer listened closely to what she was saying. "So you see there are too many empty apartments in China. That's why we can't lay anymore eggs. The farmer gasped, "communists!" The farmer picked up the clucking hen, "listen ladies, everything is A-OK. Everyone who didn't have an apartment in China now has an apartment. It turned out to be a big misunderstanding." The hens went back to laying their eggs. The offending hen clucked, "no they're not, everyone in China is going to be broke and this is serious! We need to quit laying eggs right now!" The farmer looked down at the troubled hen, and said, "everyone in China will be broke? That's awful! Why don't you tell me more about this behind the barn near the old tree stump so I can explain it to the others so they'll quit laying eggs." "Certainly!" clucked the hen. "So you see, when the Chinese kept building apartments, they were way over extended..."

Later that day, the farmer was finishing up a delicious chicken leg and small side of corn when a man from the city approached. "Farmer, what's going on over here?" Before the man from the city could inform the Farmer that his land wasn't zoned for farming, the farmer interrupted, "you won't believe it! These damn communists have been spreading their stupid ass ideas and some of my hens got wind of it and thought that they couldn't lay eggs anymore because of some nonsense about the Chinese."

Seeing the farmer was already worked up, the man from the city told the farmer, "so your chickens didn't want to lay eggs for you anymore? That's awful! Why don't you tell me more about that near the old tree stump behind city hall?" The farmer grabbed his hat enthusiastically and said, "certainly! And another thing about these lazy communists: They keep stirring the pot and can't keep their damn mouths shut!"

>>22712349
They don't need laws. They just hide it in the Terms of Service that nobody reads.

>>22712790
Nobody will ever claim my work. Honestly, I wouldn't want to claim it either.

>>22710229
Is there a hard grammatical rule for this or is it just preference?

(1)
"Blah blah blah," says Alice. Bob shifts his weight.
"Blah." He concurs.

(2)
"Blah blah blah," says Alice.
Bob shifts his weight. "Blah." He concurs.

(1) sounds like it's correct, and I'd feel inclined to use that construction in most cases, but is (2) strictly wrong? Perhaps in a situation where there's many sentences, instead of just one, between the two statements.

>>22712846
also yeah i meant "Blah," he concurs.

>>22712850
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialogue_in_writing
I think this has the answer

>>22712846
It's not within the realm of grammar: it's purely style. The common convention is obviously to start a new paragraph with the line of dialogue from the new speaker, but your example is exactly the kind of situation where you should make an exception to the convention.

>>22712865
it does not. It has two examples suggesting (1) to be valid but says nothing about the invalidity of (2).

>>22712868
thank you.

I was hoping to get back into writing a bit, so I went to r/writingprompts, to force myself to churn wordcount, but it sucks terribly, because most of the prompts contain the premise and the conclusion in themselves, so you don't really have much to write about other than fleshing out the micro-story.
why doesn't /lit/ have an equivalent, beyond "write whats on your mind"

>>22712884
Sometimes they do. I remember one time someone asked to describe some reaction pic and some anons did a really good job at it. Try your hand with literally anything.

>>22712889
I just dropped a short story in this thread. Nobody is really reacting to it. Is any board as active as pol? I'm thinking of just posting the story there and putting up a pic of some hot chick with big boobs.

>>22712778
I started writing a critique but tldr : you need to avoid repetitions lik "laying eggs", for instance :
>On a cool November evening, the farmer was checking in on his hen. He noticed one of the birds refusing to produce any and encouraging the others to follow along, clucking wildly.
(make it visual or provide some meat for sensory imagination rather than plainly describing)

>>22712900
>Is any board as active as pol?
not by a long shot, certainly not this one, and pol is mostly bots.

>>22712900
Is this yours? >>22712778
For one, this is more like a passage rather than a short story. Second, if you want anyone to read what you have to say, never post it directly in the thread because that's a surefire way for it to get ignored. Even I just skimmed over your post as soon as I saw it. Link to Pastebin or another site, maybe use a tangentially related image for visibility.

>>22712715
YOUR RIDICULOUS

>>22712926
Thank you so much. This is the first time I ever wanted to post.

>>22712952
Pastebins are usually ignored too, though. These threads are a waste of time.

>>22712926
Well the story gets the point across that I wanted in the amount of space that I wrote. I didn't really want to make it any longer than necessary because I'm not looking for a fan. I'm fishing for a hardy chuckle from a knowing reader. I know AESOP had super short stories and if my point was longer winded, I'd do it that way, but I just don't want to take up people's time to create the illusion I'm a great writer because I'm not. I'm just a little funny, sometimes.

>>22712978
That's not a story. It's a shit post.

>>22712978
For what my opinion is worth (not much), I think you did do a good job setting up the punchline via use of reiteration, but the meaning behind the story is lost on me
It's clearly meant to be political in nature, but I don't really know what statement you're trying to make, though this could just be a personal problem since I don't follow politics

What is your opinion on chapters whose main purpose is to serve as exposition dumps?

For example, in my story I introduce character X (whose allegiance lies with the antagonsits of the novel) in a chapter where he learns that he's being replaced by another officer, so naturally the chapter follows him settling his last matters and briefing in his replacement on the situation (which concerns the plot of the novel)

Now, I personally don't mind exposition dumps as long as they don't involve much backstory (because I don't give a fig about learning the backstory of a fictional novel) but my problem in this specific case is that the conversation between two characters feels either a) unnatural or b) too natural, as one character just goes on about the state of things, and the other just asks him questions like "And what about the bureau of foreign affairs? What do they have to say on the matter?" with the purpose of briefing in the readers with hints of the plot

>>22713062
This happens a lot of fiction. Not only that, but the entire existence of numerous characters serves the only purpose of being a cameraman for the most important characters (which the writer doesn't want to let the readers' know his inner struggles and thoughts)

>>22713003
There's always a "reason" for an economic crash. There was a radio personality arguing that we were due up for a crash due to Chinese real estate investing. The funny part to that is that regardless of the nonsense reason for the banks setting up a population culling, chickens don't stop laying eggs.

They don't stop because of the dot-com boom, sub-prime mortgages nor any other horse shit they come up with.

Chickens don't stop laying eggs because of bullshit half way around the world, but large scale economic systems do.

Raising chickens can be seen as more stable than participating in an economy sized ponzi scheme designed to fall periodically to mold the world the banking shot callers want.

If chickens did arbitrarily stop laying eggs, the farmer would likely eat the chicken. But if the metaphor were applied , the idea would be that the farmer is the citizen and the economy is the chicken.

But the man from the city shatters the illusion of control for the average citizen or farmer. The farmer and the citizen isn't bringing down the government. The government is bringing down the farmer and the citizen. And they all have a big mouth the whole way down: the farmer, the chicken, the citizen, and the radio personality.

>>22713062
Exposition dumps that dump exposition while also being fun are what's called selling stories.

>>22712279
Anon, you need to start thinking in scenes. Each should have a hook and a pay-off. You can't have a scene without setting one first.
>dialogue, scheming and action
Alone won't get you far.

Went back did some editin and chaned things up I say a much more improved version of the one I posted above but I think it's a little too verbose in some areas otherwise don't think it's too bad.

>>22713344
Your grammar is bad. ESL?
My advice other than grammar: you need a good reason to tell events out of order. It's always going to read better to start with
>I landed a shot with my rifle.
>It let out a howl so loud that...
Also be wary of sentences which do nothing except restate something you've already written. Sometimes this can be used for effect, but most of the time it's a mistake.
>paralyzed by fear
>my feet...were petrified
>I was locked
just repeating the same thing three times for no added tension or context.

It's style check time!

Go into your story's current draft (you do write your daily 1k, right?) and Ctrl+F "suddenly". Post number and total word counter.
>3 at 21k words

>>22713440
2 in 8.5k words but they're both in dialog so really 0

>>22713344
>A big one so loud that it made all animals in the area flee and the birds sleeping leave their nexts as fast as they could without a moment's hesitation and a second thought while causing me to stop dead in my tracks, paralysed by fear.
Jesus Christ anon. A big one? A fuck huge sentence you mean. You tend to restate things an awful lot. I believe you can cut down further. What's wrong with
>My rifle fired and a howl followed. I'd struck it. Nearby animals scattered, sleeping birds woke and fled their nests in fright. Yet I didn't run, I stood petrified. It wasn't a bear I'd shot.

>>22713440

>1
>Just roughly under 1000 words

>>22713450

I did think of trying to go for prose style similar to Ducks, Newburyport or how Krasznahorkai writes to really drive into the MC losing his dissonance with reality but I think I'll keep the prose fairly simple.

>>22712349
linux user im guessing? there's a brand of autism that think they're actually interacting with industry titans. it's incredibly low iq/mental illness or something. they often feel personally slighted over nothing and develop these weird 1 way vendettas.
anyway, i know you're one of these types from your 1 idiotic statement
anyway,
you have no idea the amount of bureaucracy and certification bullshit microsoft operates on. they aren't stealing your fanfic, ever.

>microsoft about to corner the RR/patreon market with stolen fanfic
meds

>>22713062
Every story needs exposition, don't sweat it

>>22713467
>1
>Just roughly under 1000 words
you understand why anon is pointing this out though, yea? stating suddenly <something happened> has the inverse effect in writing. of course it can be used in many ways, but it's otherwise a big nono. not even once. especially in 1k words.

>>22710253
OMFG...was that the "prize" all along? A meaningless declaration from a literal nobody? Pretty much par for the course when dealing with the most hated person on /lit/. So why are you even here in /wg/? Did you get range-banned from making new threads after yesterday's sadcringe sperg-out? Oh well...phoneposters have nothing worthwhile to say anyway.
>>22712949
illiterate
opinion discarded

>>22713721
“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” - Samuel Johnson

>>22713665
they will (continue to) use it to train their AI, however. And none of the stinking indians who work for microshaft will speak up or do anything about it, because they get paid big money to feel superior to white-skinned joe average, who they eternally envy (not to meniton they'll lose their visas).

Now you know why things are as they are. There's a reason for everything.

>>22713744
"Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault." -M. Scott Peck

>>22713816
>The world can do no wrong because... it just can't OKAY?

>>22713783
>they will (continue to) use it to train their AI, however. And none of the stinking indians who work for microshaft will speak up or do anything about it, because they get paid big money to feel superior to white-skinned joe average, who they eternally envy (not to meniton they'll lose their visas).

wow they get 'early access' to stuff that will be skimmed from elsewhere (if it ever gets released)
not that it's even a fucking drop in the bucket

I feel like writing a short story that feels like the finale to an anime you didn't watch. Specifically like one of those early 2000s ones with the really off the wall crazy final acts. Is this a bad idea?

>>22713818
At least you don't deny your malignant narcissism. That's a good first step.

>>22713841
>>22713816
what do you mean by this? are you implying im gardener?
because im implying you're a woman
>>22713839
like gurren lagann or something? or the ones that are intentionally vague and esoteric because they can't tie it all together in 1 episode after the show is cut short?

>>22713838
>not that it's even a fucking drop in the bucket
all the media being stored in cloud services is a drop in the bucket? Every single file on every single apple user's device is in the cloud, and the same is true for the vast majority of android users as well.

I take it you're just talking about your writing. fuck you anyway, blasé pig fucker.

>>22713851
Never watched Gurren Lagann. I was thinking something like the FMA 2003 finale where its built on basically everything thats been established up to that point, so a new viewer is just bombarded with references to things he's never heard of, and witnesses the intentional breaking of established rules that he didn't even know existed. All the viewer knows is that a lot has happened and its all very important.

>>22713841
narcissism centered around me is better than narcissism centered around you, for sure.

>>22713851
>>22713878
And now, the usual pathetic, infantile attempts at deflection. You never change, Frank. You just stay deep in the pit you dug for yourself. It's so cozy there.

>>22713873
>all the media
yes, compared to what's available elsewhere? you are so clueless.
and explain what work is at "risk" being in the cloud, that wont be at risk once it isn't on the cloud.
what should we be theoretically preventing? go ahead.

>>22713882
i'm not frank, i'm just pointing out you're a worthless weasel for trying to tear down other people out of jealousy or whatever else youre failing to figure out in your chemically imbalanced stew

>the indians won't protect my fanfic. my significant work that will otherwise singlehandedly influence the ai overlord
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Books_published_per_country_per_year
TOTAL: approximately 2,210,000
(nevermind literally all other literature flooding the internet)

>>22713895
I understand. I wish you weren't you, either.
>trying to tear down other people out of jealousy
Your lack of self-awareness is positively hilarious.

>>22713914
what are you doing then?

>>22713890
>explain what work is exposed to companies on their cloud servers versus what's stored on your local hardware
uhh retard sisters how do I respond?? this one is above my paygrade.

>>22713882
i'm not frank either i just hate faggot fucking quotes and wanted to chime in

>>22713916
Much less than the jannies did yesterday, that's for sure. Go back to Discord.

>>22713450
>>>My rifle fired and a howl followed. I'd struck it. Nearby animals scattered, sleeping birds woke and fled their nests in fright. Yet I didn't run, I stood petrified. It wasn't a bear I'd shot.
Your sentence is really bad. OP's is better. It has a better flow and sounds natural, even with the ESL grammar mistakes and awkward phrasing. Yours is trying too hard. The whole point, as I see it, is a run-on sentence. Something that you would say when you're panicking. It's meant to evoke this emotion in the reader, making him relate to the main character. I would actually make the sentence longer. It currently ends too abruptly, without fully developing the feelings of fear and panic that it sets up so well. But what you wrote alienates the reader because it's trying too hard.

>>22713924
are you really misinterpreting what im saying, or is this your way of bowing out?
your work will (hopefully) not remain on your hard drirve, alone, indefinitely.
'protecting your work' will be retroactive given the way things are, and only by those with the ability to do so. that is-- the second it's an ebook in the wild, it's crawlable. and, ironically, microsoft and the other bigboys are the only ones that might actually go out of their way to protect your work at that point.

>>22713935
you don't dare answer the question earnestly. of course. worthless weasel status: confirmed

>>22713961

>>22713970
>see your own point on narcissism
you could always just share why you're lashing out. no? why not?

>>22713953
if you'd have been paying attention, you'd have noticed we've been talking about slightly different things since our first interaction

>your work will (hopefully) not remain on your hard drirve, alone, indefinitely.
non sequitur

>'protecting your work' will be retroactive given the way things are, and only by those with the ability to do so. that is-- the second it's an ebook in the wild, it's crawlable. and, ironically, microsoft and the other bigboys are the only ones that might actually go out of their way to protect your work at that point.
no and also non sequitur

you're just a fucking moron, there's nothing really to argue.

>>22713996
you failing to understand does not make it irrelevant. that's not how this works.

go ahead though, make your point and i'll carefully work within your limits.

>>22713996
>intentionally vague so i never need to confront the argument
very nice

>>22714010
>>22714012
two posts? (wo)man, you're really steamed up

>>22713996
>>22713970
>>22714057
>>22713931
>4th sneed

Daily word goal, time goal, or mix? I want to settle into something more consistent by the end of the month.

>>22714076

>>22714119

Here's an excerpt from something I'm working on
>A deafening sonic boom ripped through the air, accompanied by a flare of blinding red light streaking across the night sky. A blasted landscape devoid of life sat far below, as the streak spawned shadows stretching across the ground, shrinking away as it passed, and stretching again in the opposite direction, as if trying to flee before the red light passed completely and they disappeared from existence.
Is that too much alliteration? I didn't actually mean to use any but "streak spawned shadows stretching" just kind of came out.

>>22714279
I think your sentence structure is pretty ass. You want to make this way more evocative.
But I'll try to explain by changing it.
>A deafening sonic boom ripped through the air, accompanied by a flare of blinding red light streaking across the night sky. Far below, shadows stretched away from the source of light, basking the lifeless landscape in a pattern of dark shifting shapes.
I don't know why you are worried about alliteration. It's not even that noticeable. I'd have more to work with if you provided detail instead of trying to explain through vague description of a light moving across an uneven surface.

>>22714325
I understand what you're saying, I think.
>...sky. Far below, a blasted landscape devoid of life was animated by the fell star. Legions of long shadows spawned from nothing and stretched away from the streak, as if trying to flee, before it passed completely and the land was rendered lifeless once more.
Is that more like it? Dunno if I should put a comma after "completely," it seems unnecessary.
I was concerned about the alliteration because it stuck out to me in a weird way, I suppose it's nice that you didn't really notice.
Thanks for the help.

>>22710229
I'm working on writing this story based on this tiny nugget of an idea/premise, but it's just not working. It's as if the well has gone dry or something. In cases like these where the story doesn't come flowing to you naturally, what is the correct course of action? Grit your teeth and trudge through the story anyway? Or just move on to more fertile writing ideas?

>>22714375
generally I return to the exercises that helped me when I was learning like building out reference sheets for the characters and writing one-off dialogs between them. If that doesn't work, I put it down for a month and let it stew in the back of my brain. If I don't have anything in a month or two, I drop it.

>>22714375
You need a strong idea. Not a good or interesting idea, per se. But something you feel like you care about and understand (at least the way you care to understand it).
I would not write a story on a vague idea, unless that is the specific effect you're going for

>>22714363
No problem. Get other people to read your work. You won't notice some problems you have or things that seem strange or awkwardly written.
The new sentence reads better.

The female lead is supposed to be a bit of a tsundere. The male lead is supposed to be a bit of a pushover because he has a huge crush on her. In the past, I've been told she is too cruel while he is too pathetic. Is this an okay balance?

>>22714634
A few out-of-context lines aren't really enough to judge a character, but this page does make me strongly suspect the author is a homosexual.

>>22714658
It's dual pov so he also admires how hot she is. There's a scene where he's in bed with her while she wears nothing but a camisole and he stares at her legs. It's a balance.

>>22713935
Oh, you mean the discord server with over 150 /wg/ regulars competing to be crowned Greatest Writer on Earth by one of the most talented, successful writers of the 21st century?

Why are so many writers such fucking faggots? I tried to engage with the local NaNoWriMo groups and every one is full of trannies and dykes.

>>22714863
Because a lot of right wingers are literal 90IQ retards that treat doing anything creative like a waste of time, and because there's no right leaning communities for amateur writing: i.e. fanfiction. Like, you see a bunch of amateur stories about bringing down capitalism or punching Nazis, or troons trooning out; but little to no stories about based heroes making an ethnostate, or bringing down the goblin banking conspiracy, or even making an Ancap utopia. Professional writers grow out of amateur writers, and when someone with right leaning views posts his works online, he gets bullied by the trannies and the dykes to stop doing that. Also, English majors in University are a hotspot of leftwing trannyism.

>>22714863
Writing is a lonely job, attractive to outcasts. But even most outcasts want to feel like they belong somewhere. Losers band together with other losers. Trannies seek the company of other trannies, and so do dykes, and you.

>>22714863
trannies are a (d)evolution of autists, and dysfunctional people have a lot of time on their hands.

>>22714863
the arts have always been dominated by gays, just before very recently it was more seemly to hide it

>>22714634
>I'm not some fragile, dainty maiden you have to dote over like a nervous handmaiden
holy shit this is the worst thing I've ever read in my life

>>22715025
Whoops. That was definitely a typo from an earlier draft. I meant to write 'I’m not so fragile and dainty that you have to dote over like a nervous handmaid'

>>22715044
And I forgot the 'me' in that post. Silly me.

What makes a good prologue?

>>22715436
Not having one.

>>22715511
Besides that.

>>22715436
Prologue, if you insist on having one, should establish things that are necessary for understanding the story, despite not being strictly part of the flow of events.

For example, in crime mysteries, prologue is often used to present the victim's circumstances before death.
Or you could have a story about characters being on a journey, but starting straight from a bunch of strangers in a boat gets messy, so you can have a prologue that shows why the protagonist left on the journey in the first place. That gives the reader a solid foothold when moving into action, without grating exposition or flashbacks.

Of course, 99% of writers put in a prologue just to have a prologue, and it's nothing but an irrelevant waste of pages.

>>22715591
Good examples. Big point?
For the love of god, do not use the prologue for lore dumping.

>>22714929
what’s the reasoning, historically? adults with more free time (no kids)?

>>22715436
they’re useful in fantasy/scifi to preview the scope of power/technology etc.
in low fantasy there might be no actual signs of magic until further in the book(s), but you want to set the genre early

>>22714634

It would be better if you make her a twink. Then everything would make sense.

>>22712846
Not sure if it's a rule, but you should try to keep character actions and speech together. Second is definitely better. In fact, I would drop "he concurs". It's redundant and annoying. If you start a paragraph with a character action, readers will know the next line of dialogue is from that character. If you feel you need a tag, just use "said".

>>22714863
Be the change you want to see, start your own based writing group.

>>22715630
>>22715775
Basically I made a prologue that's a document regarding a plot-centric piece of technology in my sci-fi story, that's lighter and drier in tone than the actual chapters, and provides some vague references and clues to the current state of affairs. Does that count as a loredump?

can you rate this writing? please be generous:

Introducing Finley Hallow, and his pet worm, Banner!

This cocky, devious gentleman is a trophy hunter of all sorts. He travels to various dimensions hunting those he deems worthy prey, like Cynthia. Once captured, his assistant Banner doubles as a means of transportation back to his trophy hall. The human cargo can do nothing but writhe helplessly in Banner's belly as they're whisked away to to her certain doom!

The special alien enzymes that coat Banner's belly keep the prey alive against their own will. They have no need to eat or sleep once tightly packed inside, and his skin is thin enough where breathing is not an issue. Digestion can take anywhere from mere moments to an entire year depending on his companion's commands. His length is such that multiple victims can be stored inside his form without issue.

Finley is equipped with a long-range hunting rifle, with several futuristic add-ons that he's picked up while hopping dimensions. The gun has a stun setting for when he's not feeling particularly threatened by the prey.

Finley had noticed early in their travels together that Banner's stomach contours so tightly to his prey's body that he needn't even have the prey be released in order to make a completely accurate taxidermy of the victim! He simply could scan the bulge inside Banner's belly, and 3D-Print a perfect taxidermy trophy of whichever body parts he wanted to display.

Another flash fiction piece I wrote. Feedback welcome.

Of course, if he ever did want to see the struggling Cynthia in the flesh again, he need only equip the goggles that rest atop his head, which allow him to see clear through various objects.

The only thing Finley enjoys more than the thrill of the hunt is humiliating his victims before he does away with them for good. He often takes victim's footwear as trophies, and can be seen toying with the captive's bare feet before they disappear into Banner's maw.

Finley takes great pride in defeating powerful foes, and displaying them in his trophy hall as nothing but humiliated visages, most commonly in the form of taxidermy trophy heads or full body replicas. His favorite means of display, however, is inside Banner's belly. Banner will often position himself draped across the carefully laid curtains of Finley's trophy hall, with prey still contained within him. The desperate moans and tight struggling bulge of the still-alive victim accompanies their own defeated taxidermy visage, a sight which Finley finds poetic and relaxing. They stay displayed until Finley grows bored or annoyed with their struggles, at which point the command to digest them is issued to Banner!

Team Plasma has shifted regions to expand their territory. A lone grunt targets the champion of the region to make a statement as they enter this unfamiliar region!

Cynthia is caught by surprise and tightly constricted by the grunt's Seviper! All the struggling in the world won't help her if she is unable to reach her Pokeballs and call an ally to assist her!

Tightly secured, and confident she will be unable to call out a Pokemon of her own, a humiliating fate awaits the champion... The Team Plasma grunt removes the champion's shoes and begins worshiping her now-bare, exposed feet. Seviper is commanded to swallow her alive head-first, but not before using it's blade-like tail to cut the champion's bra clean off of her! Breasts exposed, and bare feet kicking, Champion Cynthia can only helplessly cry out as she is slowly taken into the form of the villainous grunt's ally serpent!

A champion is only as powerful as the Pokemon they use, and with this definitive victory, Team Plasma shows that having no Pokemon is equivalent to having no power... Champion Cynthia, once the most respected trainer throughout the region, will be digested alive, eventually becoming mere nutrients for a lone grunt's Seviper!

>>22715436

Depends if what you're writing is really necessary to even have one. Sometimes they are good at setting the scene, and atmosphere for what your story could be about, other times it's mostly just used to foreshadow futue events and grip you in seeing how what's going on in the plot eventually connects to it.

>>22716043
So it’s an excerpt from a fictional user manual? You really feel that’s the best way to start your book?

>>22716382
Yes.

>>22716316
>>22716327
>>22716354
Fuck off already turdworlder.

>>22710229
>Writing a short story
>Gaining great momentum
>Knock out three pages in a couple of hours (that's a lot for me)
>Get to a scene where two characters have a dinner date
FUCK

Openings, middle, or ending, what do you find most difficult? I actually find the middle most frustrating to handle openings and endings are easy peasy though depending on the type of direction I take them.

>>22716824
>Get to a scene where two characters have a dinner date
Well what do you know, I am writing a dinner date scene right now.

>>22716929
everybody finds the middle the hardest

>>22716929
Everything that isn't a scene I already thought out. So, the transitions.

>>22717008
>>22716824
Fuck. Off. Keep this stupid, perverted fucking garbage to yourself. Relationships do not belong in fiction, nor do they belong anywhere in the world. But disgusting fucking freak worm perverts like you faggots keep pushing them down my throat. Fuck off. Fuck. Off. Fuck off. This is my sanctuary. I am not supposed to be bothered here by normie sensibilities. Leave my fucking thread alone.

>>22717210
I didn't know they allowed internet in Orthodox Monasteries

>>22717285
That’s a sneering comment, and one which belongs nowhere but my fucking toilet. In fact, I might print it out and take a fucking shit on it just to relieve some of the aggravation I feel. Fucking corn filled fucking shit. You are a faggot. Seek fucking help. Stop harassing me. Stop gang stalking me.

I’m a college student. Had a short story assignment in my creative writing class and wrote a (moderately graphic) story about a rape victim who falls madly in love with her rapist. At the end, he rejects her and she commits suicide. My lib professor has said he’s going to report me for submitting it because it’s a breach of the code of conduct or something like that. What do I say to him?

>>22717317
Well, did it breach the code of conduct?

>>22717339
I don’t think so. It was an ok story. He thinks it was unacceptable to submit and share with the class (stories are posted via discussion board) and apparently some girl said she has “ptsd” that the story triggered when she read it. I don’t even know what to say. It’s just a story.

>>22717366
Well if there was no stated rule against disturbing or graphic content, then you aren't in the wrong. Its their responsibility to clearly establish the rules before enforcing them.

>>22717373
There was none, he’s telling me I broke a university wide rule for which I could be suspended or expelled.

>>22717382
What was the rule?

>>22717390
Disruptive behavior and harassing other students.

>>22717399
So are they saying it was disruptive or harassment?

>>22717405
They say that by sharing the story with the class I was disrupting and harassing other students and claiming that was my purpose with sharing it

>>22717411
Well, disruptive could be applicable. But I wouldn't call that harassment. Even if it were meant to offend, harassment is targeted and prolonged.

>>22717427
I don’t know what to do. My professor won’t budge on reporting me

>>22717434
You'll probably just have to make your case to whoever the handles the reports

>>22717317
You gotta save the unhinged stuff for when you're
1. anonymous
2. have enough of a following and reputation that you can pass it off as being a visionary and boundary pushing auteur instead of a schizo
Frankly I think you're impossibly stupid for submitting something like that in class, and in the case that you expected it to get a negative reaction (which you would if you weren't violently autistic) they're going to have a very easy time pinning you.

>>22717468
I don’t think I’m autistic. Art is supposed to be challenging

>>22717366
It triggered ptsd? I suppose it was good then. Wonna share a sample?

>>22717487
I’ll think about it. The reaction I’ve gotten has made me want to forget I ever wrote it.

>>22717496
If you get called in to talk with someone or something, say this:
"While I don't quite understand why I was wrong, seeing the reactions of everybody, I can't help but apologize."
Depending on how they respond to this:
"Sorry, I'm a little autistic so it's a little difficult to gauge the emotional viability of these things...."

>>22717496
>>22717523
Also, yeah. I wrote something in 9th grade that my English teacher said was "the single most offensive thing she has ever read." I get your struggle. You'll laugh about it later and it'll make you better at approaching these subjects with more refrain and delicacy.

>>22717210
Haha I just wrote a scene where a cute girl with huge breasts stuffs her face with sausages and you can't stop me.

>>22717523
>I can't help but apologize
Never apologize.
>>22717530
>the single most offensive thing she has ever read
I envy you.

>>22717317
while your teacher is potential an idiot, you might not have the ability or tact to bring a story like that beyond tasteless smut. the precedent of it being art does not make it a free for all.

>>22717691
Seconding this; if it was good you'd probably be better off.

>>22717483
>Art is supposed to be challenging

It sounds like you just turned in your edgy fapfic. The only thing challenged is your future in human society

>>22717496
In the 70's in many academic circles your story would be judged on its merits because there was a movement about keeping taboo out of artistic endeavours.
That's not the case today. Sensibilities are much more puritanical and offending others is not seen as a potential and sometimes beneficial hazard of publishing something difficult.
That's not to say that a general outrage didn't always exist for certain topics. Normal people put a lot more value into conformity and social acceptability by default, because they take everything literally. I wouldn't have published something like this unless I'd know the teacher had the sensibility to judge something without bending to social mores.

If you think it might seriously get into trouble, I would shift blame on your sources. Say that you got into reading the wrong books (take your pick of nonsensible literature). Failing that, say that you were raped yourself and it was a cathartic experience. Practice crying. It all depends on how well you can sell it.

>>22717317
Sounds like you may need an actual lawyer. This is way beyond any advice you can receive in an online forum.
Way back in pre-history, I was taking a college writing class, and someone submitted a story (and read it aloud) about a whore turning a trick and getting severely abused psychologically the whole time. We were all a bit speechless, but I don't remember the writer getting into any trouble. OTOH, the writer was female.

>getting two rejection e-mails on the same day
It's not a nice feeling to get even one

>>22713440
13 at 113K words. About half of those are in dialogue.

>>22711328
Are you sure it's not progression? All progression seems to mean is that there's decent focus on your protagonist improving in power, skills, influence, etc., over the course of the story.

>>22713440
74k, 10

>>22717317
Man, I hope you're closer to the end of college than the start, because that sounds like social suicide in this day and age. People associating my name with rape would be the last thing I'd want on campus.

>>22718738
People who write rape fantasies and call it art typically don't have a social life to lose in the first place.

>>22713440
4 times in 26 000 words. Too many. I am ashamed.

>>22713440

>102k words
>28 times
I could delete all without any change worth mentioning.

>>22717317

Lawyer up and sue them. It's a short story at the end of the day and you could manipulate situation into saying how the teacher's reaction caused you to psychologically suffer affecting the rest of your classes and overral performances. You could also get a female classmate to write a similar story and see how they would react no doubt they would praise it but I feel like you're just unfairly targeted because you happen to be a white male.

>>22713440
I try to use "abruptly" and "without warning" when I can.

As long as it isn't shit and I have the discipline to write a whole novel I can publish it, r-right?

It's science fiction and it basically took me months to write this first chapter. Please rate/rape (but not like in the poster above's short story)

>>22718774
You can self-publish. You can also chance sending part of your manuscript to a publisher. There's not much to lose.
It's very readable at first glance, though I can't say much about the content.
If this is in medias res, it's aggressively so, is the most obvious criticism.

Be honest with me fellas how hard is it for an average straight white male lower middle class guy like myself to get published. Seems like publishers just want more upper middle basedboys, women, and people of colour. The market feels rigged against us and like publishers pay more attention to background quality of writing which they shouldn't be doing

>>22716646
Well that sounds terrible. But hey, maybe you’ll pull it off. I’d advise not making that prologue very long. In fact, if it’s more than a page it’ll probably turn people off from continuing. But I suspect you’re the kind of contrarian retard who will go and drop a full fictional manual in there with gobbledygook translations into alien languages just to spite that advice.

>>22718795
It's like getting any job, really. You just need to know the right people and the rest is meaningless.

>>22718774
The guy has the time to take in the sights while flying 0.005x lightspeed (1500km/s) in an asteroid belt? Momentum and gravity in space? These are some Rian Johnson physics. The writing is...not great. You should read real books, or at least published scifi, and watch less anime.

>>22718786
>It's very readable at first glance
Appreciate it, anon.
>If this is in medias res, it's aggressively so
I actually recently went through this chapter and padded it out more; guess the world is still much clearer in my head than on paper.

>>22718851
I'll be honest I don't know a single thing about physics, but the mechanics of space flight in this world will be explained much later anyways. Can you give me some examples of where the writing is bad?
>You should read real books, or at least published scifi, and watch less anime.
I do all three, except I don't watch anime at all

>>22718802
Getting traditionally published in fiction as a straight male is going to be harder nowadays regardless of race/ethnicity simply because women buy 80% of books and are 74% of the publishing industry. But it also depends on your genre and age demographic. Middle Grade and Adult have a pretty even gender split, but YA is almost entirely female and LGBT which is why young men who enjoy reading are increasingly turning toward manga and web novels. Male debut authors in general are decreasing across the board, though.

>>22718795
Getting traditionally published in fiction as a straight male is going to be harder nowadays regardless of race/ethnicity simply because women buy 80% of books and are 74% of the publishing industry. But it also depends on your genre and age demographic. Middle Grade and Adult have a pretty even gender split, but YA is almost entirely female and LGBT which is why young men who enjoy reading are increasingly turning toward manga and web novels. Male debut authors in general are decreasing across the board, though.

>>22718857
You don't know basic physics, but plan to dump some made-up model of space flight on your readers? Don't you find anything funny about that? This isn't on the level where you worry about the quality of individual lines, far more fundamental building blocks are missing.

>>22718912
I can't speak for the author, but Crichton proved that without delving into any scientific details, you can craft a science-fiction narrative that is perfectly believable.
It's with masterworks of bullshit like the Andromeda Strain that science-fiction is defined.

>>22718767
Do you also start using "brunette" and "the shorter girl" when your dialogue tags get too repetitive, you fucking reprobate? It's like putting lipstick on a pig, it doesn't actually fix the problem. Just delete those words, so the action is actually sudden for your reader.

>>22718738
I’m a sophomore.
>>22718750
It wasn’t a rape fantasy, retard. It was a serious piece of writing about the human condition. Go kill yourself.

Someone won!

>>22719521
The F Games was awesome

>>22719521
What if the winner was just Gardner using an alt?

>>22710229
Beginning of a detective/mystery story I've been thinking about.

>>22719680
His thoughts travelled back thirty-two years to the vanishing of a young girl; a year long investigation with nothing to show for it.

The writing is very choppy. You repeat things
>disappearance of a young daughter...

>This case, the disappearance of Margrot Voss, it haunted the country for years.
The disappearance of Margot Voss haunted the country for years.

Anyway, you need to pay way more attention to sentence structure, paragraph flow, and generally how to write like a normal human, because that is very rough to read.
You also mix tenses.
It's back to reading with you.

>>22716727
YOU ARE ESL AND TRANS BITCH

>>22710243
The world is also full of persistent loosers

>>22718926
Are you suggesting Michael motherfucking Crichton doesn't know science? There's a difference between not going into excessive detail and being an uneducated moron. Even if it's not all written down on the pages, that doesn't mean there's no theory or principles behind a story.

>>22719935
My dear anon. I know Crichton KNOWS the science.
But if you had read and looked further into his bestseller the Andromeda Strain, you would know that it doesn't have any basis in science whatsoever.
It's all gobbledegook.
He made up all the science to sound plausible, but none of it is actually real. Hence me stating that science-fiction is intertwined with the art of bullshitting.

>>22719869
>loosers
ESL! ESL! ESL!

>>22719945
>He made up all the science to sound plausible
Yes, because he actually knows what he's doing and how that shit is supposed to sound. Which voids your entire point, dumbass.

>>22720003
You sound angry.
And you're wrong. You could replicate what he did without any real knowledge in the sciences. It requires none, and requires a lot of knowledge of bullshitting.

Fuck you you god damn fucking nigger faggots

>>22719521
When will we get to read the winning piece I’m so excited this is the most momentous moment for /wg/ since the invention of pastebin

>>22720028
EXACTLY

>>22719952
Your the ESL

REMINDER: Your favourite creatives all smoked. Or did worse things than that.

>>22718912
Can you tell me about the prose instead of fixating on the science?

>>22720269
Well those were unenlightened times. Now we know smoking is bad. As is drinking. And straight sex. Heteronormativity is LGBT genocide.

>>22720282
I’m a different anon, and the prose is extremely purple and overall the piece just sucks.

>>22720269
I’m only 20, I’m not allowed to smoke yet.

>>22718774
You could definitely capture some readers with this, a juvenile mind would probably like it. You keep on writing and it'll come to you.
Personally feel like there is nothing to catch my attention or draw me in.

>>22720312
>>22720601
Thanks guys. I should probably give up anyways

>>22719521
So now you're LARPing as someone who isn't range-banned from making new posts on /lit/? Pathetic. And November isn't over yet. Face the truth...no one gives a crap about your lame project, and you're just desperate to draw attention to yourself. Nothing but malignant narcissism.

>>22720269
This. Even F Gardner talks about how this is true.

>>22720632
>No one cared

Did you see the size of that server? It was probably the most massive thing /lit/ has ever done and only lasted not even a month before someone won it. Definitely the biggest thing at least for /wg./ Gardner’s contest was enormous. It’s surprising how many people competed.

>>22719680
>this much exposition

So bad.

>>22720615
Give up? No no no. You keep on going.

>>22719680
I think the pace and flow is good but other anons may be right that it's a little heavy-handed with establishing the setting. Show, don't tell as they say. You have a good idea of what that kind of noir world looks like but you're basically representing a facade of it rather than immersing us in the world. Show it gradually in bits and pieces because it should just become apparent through its course

>Write one paragraph
>Immediately begin comparing it to the writing of famous authors with decades of experience
>Become convinced I'm a hack and lose all motivation
I'm in Hell. I am actually in Hell.

>>22720725
“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” - Samuel Johnson

Any books that are similar to Silent Hill 2?

First draft of a poem I just wrote tonight. Destroy it lads:


The universe is slowing down
So they say
E x p a n d i n g at a decreasingrate
Eventually it will stop
And
Slowly
Everything will begin to fall backwards
Pull toward the center
And collapse into itself
Only to bang bigly once again
And shoot out, expanding and forming and creating order out of chaos

This happens repeatedly
So they say
And an infinite number of variations ensue
A trillion trillion variations with vast canyons of difference and another trillion with one blink less or more

For whatever nonsensical reason
This brings me peace
Because I know there is a reality
A world that has been and will be again
Where I don't watch you sit at the far end of the table
And ache for what could have been
For the farm and the horses and the kids
The infinite smiles and you truly happy
Not settling for what you already know
But daring and expanding like the universe, growing and experiencing and reaching your potential
With me
Together

But when you are looking at the sun, your branded eyes can only squint and hope and guess. You only feel its comfort seep through your skin, sedating you to its true nature.

The sun is a lashing, screaming, searing yarn-ball. She flails her whips in all directions and sidearms flame onto her dependents. Her smile is so loving it kills you. Her eyes are so bright they take your own sight.

But we still celebrate summer solstice. Maybe we are all like Icarus, teetering and reaching and tipping over towards the embrace of our Love.

>>22720913
>Write one paragraph
>Immediately begin comparing it to the writing of famous authors with decades of experience
>"Haha I bet no one will appreciate my genius"
I am in hell. I have a super shotgun.

>>22717550
Haha, nice dude!

>>22720923
Honestly Call of the Crocodile is extremely similar. Right down to the atmosphere and tone. Just replace Silent Hill with downtown Chicago and that book and the rest of Horror’s Call are probably the closest you’re gonna get for it in book form.

What's a theme you really, REALLY like using?
For me? Someone being forcibly turned into something else and exploring that ramifications. Similar to Kafka's Metamorphosis, but a lot more fantastical and more direct. For example
>Guy somehow gets his entire consciousness shoved into a robot. Robots have all the rights they need, but their existence sparks a lot of controversy. Laws of robotics and whatnot
>Now he has to live as what amounts to a second-class citizen, reeling from the trauma of what amounts to mindrape, yet ultimately finds more purpose in his life as a result after finding a "Family" that he can actually relate to as people.
>Concludes that humans are really just themselves super-advanced robots, but with flesh instead of metal.

>>22721195
>What's a theme you really, REALLY like using?
That outwardly bad people are good.

>>22721203
Appearance, actions, or both?

>>22721206
Literally either and both. I like to play with characters looking older or younger than they are. Both physically and mentally.

>>22721195
I like to alter the rules of reality so that the reader questions whether what they are reading is true. Such as a greenhouse representing the mind, allowing the growth of plants despite the winter, though these plants grow into absurd things until they are 'fixed' by a normal force. As the impossibility of growth in winter is possible in the greenhouse, so is whatever else should be considered 'impossible' like a plant growing into a telephone booth. Of course, these things are questioned.

>>22721195
That's gas and I dig the angle you took in that example deeply.
Think this is more of a trope than a theme but
>Two people from opposing sides of some thing are forced to work together by circumstance and end up forming a strong bond and elevating each other's viewpoints to a higher level
I'm also a sucker for Judas-type characters (especially when they sincerely believe they're doing the right thing by betraying) and general overwhelming adversity
One thing I haven't done that I really want to explore is looking at the same character in completely different roles depending on the narrator.
In the story I'm writing right now, I have this general-adjacent character. Really strong, reliable, pragmatic, and of high rank. Kind of operates in the background to get things done, but I want him to have an encounter with some grunts from the opposing force who are carrying something important that he wants; in which case he's going to seem to them more like a force of nature out to rip their heads off than some put-together political entity.
>>22721203
Classic and usually good. You'd think the "Evil looking/acting character is just evil" trope had been subverted enough by now that people would expect otherwise
>>22721238
Sounds very easy to fuck up into incoherence and hard to do well; you've picked a hell of a thing

>>22721503
Like, he slowly forms a found family with a bunch of robots and comes to the realization that they're just as sentient as people.
His bond with them is reinforced they do things that form actual connections. Such as a part where one of them just... Decides to show him how to play guitar while they stargaze.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRRGYEFZF4A

I have the urge to write a visual novel. Recc me some good visual novels I should play to study the format.

>>22721559
Katawa Shoujo

>>22721559
Unironically Bible Black.

>>22721562
>>22721567
OK now non-porn titles

>>22721570
>give me example of porn games but without the porn
I really have no idea what you're hoping to get for an answer

>just played a visual novel for the first time in over a decade
Alright cancel the visual novel it's an point and click adventure game now. Recc me some good point and click adventure games.

>>22721616
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
Grim Fandango
Disco Elysium

>>22721646
Oh look, games I wouldn't be ashamed for mine to share a genre with

>>22721616
Sanitarium
The Black Mirror games

>>22721195
Archaic 19th century style culture combined with advanced technology. I love the high culture that Western civilizations had at that time and the general attitude everyone had of "my group is better than everyone else, not because of our ideology or intelligence, but because God made us better. So that gives us the right to march around and take whatever we want from the other cultures." I especially like throwing them into scenarios other sci-fi civilizations have encountered and seeing how their reaction differs. For example, I'll use ai rights since you brought it up.
>Robots become sentient and ask for rights.
>Haha no. They don't even believe in universal human rights.
>The ensuing robot revolt is swiftly and brutally put down, the AIs are lobotimized, and human/alien slaves replace the smart robots where intelligence is necessary
>Your guy either gets special exemption on the grounds of him "having a human soul" if he's a gentleman, if he's a commoner he either gets killed or fails to notice a meaningful change in his standard of living.
I also like to think about how your conventional sci-fi civilizations would react to them.
>Neo-liberal post scarcity federation is disgusted by their actions, but completely incapable of doing anything to stop them since they're not interested in the material bribes the federation offers.
>Proud warrior race fears and respects them because, unlike the federation, they have no objections to using violence to get what they want.
>Hyper advanced aliens see them as primitive barbarians and refuse to treat with them beyond destroying any ships that enter their space.
>The evil space empire is locked in a constant great game style struggle for power and resources with them, viewing them as either respected rivals or bitter enemies depending on whatever's convenient at the time

>>22721559
The only VN I've ever played is Snoot Game. I liked it, but its furshit, so definitely an acquired taste.

Just got home from my grandma's. She passed away two hours ago
What's the best way to channel grief into inspiration so I have something to put my mind on? Waxing poetic about a major character's death?

>>22722020
Yeah probably.

>>22721559
Tsukihime.

Also please do not fucking write a VN until I finish mine I fucking beg you.

>>22722020
Constant death early in my life is probably why most of my shit ends inevitably with death of the characters.

How much alliteration is too much alliteration?

I really fucking love alliteration.

You do know the proper usage of ";" don't you?

>>22722056
Yes, the proper usage is replacing it with a dash.

>>22721559
"Why I Hate Saturn" by Kyle Baker

>>22720615
Don't give up.
Don't allow sadness to crush your spirit.
Strive to make the art that will change it all.
Push back against the failure of culture to maintain its strength.
Drag it kicking and screaming with you, if you have to.
Feel pity if you must. Feel sadness, feel rage, feel hopeless, and feel fury. Then write.

>>22722053
Alliteration is asinine.

>>22719521
that's the picture you choose to present to the world? you look like a shaved chimp on ritalin

Thoughts on how to incorporate someone reading the bible aloud to others? Just quoting all that he read from the bible would be too long and clunky, I thought of just doing something like "he read john 5:12-6:28" but I feel what is said in what's read is necessary for us to understand what he is feeling. Or would something like 20 pages of reading a verse and how it makes character feel, read a verse how character feels be best?

>>22722441
What exactly are you trying to express with all the bible-reading? Why is it necessary to reference pages upon pages of it, instead of just a short line or two?

>>22722441
You can't just tell the reader how a charater feels. That makes me feel angry!

>>22722524
Trying to express hypocrisy/call backs to beginning of book where character was a child hearing same bible verses (done over the course of a whole chapter with many breaks to show boredom, and purposefully tried to bore the reader in the chapter). Character is also meant to feel similar(ish) to the emotions of fear and trembling by Kierkegaard. He is preaching to others about having faith yet doesnt have it himself internally. There will also be a bit of wondering if the people who talked about the verse feel the same way he does.
I suppose it needs to be more than just a short line or 2 because it was the whole thing in the beginning, I also dont really think 1 or 2 lines can be a whole sermon. (I personally hated when pastors would make a whole sermon out of 1 verse or something).

>>22722610
Sure you can, it might not be as good when done in simple terms like your example though. "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. my sin, my soul." I was told how the character feels horny about a little kid.

>>22722338
Actually allitteration's appeal appears astonishingly apt.

>>22721503
>Sounds very easy to fuck up
It is.... Of course, I only do these things when it makes thematic sense. The thing that fixes these absurd things is just a normal stick. The MC asks about this, "It makes no sense." and the answer they get is: "Does it have to make sense? Will it make you happier if it didn't work?"
Ultimately, it's a story about indifference vs caring, and caring has no reason. It's about everybody being unreasonable in things like kindness, or pursuing goals they know will end in failure, but being content regardless.
The literal absurd things that show up are explained vaguely: The absurd is born of man's needs and the silence of the world.
It wasn't meant to be 1:1 with Camus' absurd, but someone told me my philosophies are comedically accurate to his, so I started reading him. Now I started calling these strange things absurd.

Dubs and we are all gonna make it

How should I format my manuscript?
I Googled that, but the two top results had conflicting answers already. The first one said I should use standard A4 page size (8.3"x11.7"), and the second said it should be the "industry standard page size" of 8.5”x11”.

>>22723527
there will probably be a formatting guide/spec on the website of whoever you are submitting to

>be me, scrooolling
>see this greentext
>realise I literally wrote and published a short story about this guy without ever having met him
>life imitates art
So freaky to think that my MC was actually realistic, and that I've inadvertently written about some anon's life...

How do I learn to write as well, match the success off, and be as handsome as F. Gardner?

>>22723561
>be me, scrooolling
>see this greentext
>realise I literally wrote and published a short story about this guy without ever having met him
>life imitates art
So freaky to think that my MC was actually realistic, and that I've inadvertently written about some anon's life...
(forgot the fucking pic)

>>22723527
Shunn format is the standard for fiction writing. You can google for a guide.

>>22721947
The funny thing is that I actually bought this up in one of my stories.
There's this entire "Arc" about a bunch of weird-ass steampunk motherfuckers coming in and taking over a huge chunk of the planet. Our protagonist is basically an Ultraman expy.
So now we get an Ultraman-esque superhero beating the shit out of a giant clockwork robot

Can I use "punt" as a synonym for "kick" or is the word only for sports?

>>22724431
in some contexts it might be weird because it's not an exact synonym, but it's not just a sports term

>>22724431
Punt gives the image of kicking something small in a particularly audacious/irreverent way

>>22723007
Try-hard troglodyte typing tripe.

>>22710229
I need more practice. Consistent practice.

I have ideas that are too big for me, for my current skill.

I write like 10,000 words a week in practice, but most of that is just writing short smut stories because it's the only thing I can think of that will actually get people to read it and get feedback.
And no, I don't like "just writing for myself". If no one reads it then I get demotivated.
Thing is, since most of my practice is writing smut, I worry that I won't be able to write good stuff that is isn't smut if I actually attempt to write one of my "big ideas".

I don't know, maybe I should try writing promps or writing non-fiction for a bit.

>>22724431
A punt is a kind of kick.
Not all kicks are punts but all punts are kicks.

So it depends on context of use.

GAME OVER CYNTHIA

Team Plasma has shifted regions to expand their territory. A lone grunt targets the champion of the region to make a statement as they enter this unfamiliar region!

Cynthia is caught by surprise and tightly constricted by the grunt's Seviper! All the struggling in the world won't help her if she is unable to reach her Pokeballs and call an ally to assist her!

Tightly secured, and confident she will be unable to call out a Pokemon of her own, a humiliating fate awaits the champion... The Team Plasma grunt removes the champion's shoes and begins worshiping her now-bare, exposed feet. Seviper is commanded to swallow her alive head-first, but not before using it's blade-like tail to cut the champion's bra clean off of her! Breasts exposed, and bare feet kicking, Champion Cynthia can only helplessly cry out as she is slowly taken into the form of the villainous grunt's ally serpent!

A champion is only as powerful as the Pokemon they use, and with this definitive victory, Team Plasma shows that having no Pokemon is equivalent to having no power... Champion Cynthia, once the most respected trainer throughout the region, will be digested alive, eventually becoming mere nutrients for a lone grunt's Seviper!

>>22710229
I just wrote 3 consecutive stories that can be essentially condensed as "boy meets girl". I only realised it just now. How fucked am I

Somethingpunk bros, would you read this story if it was more than just the hook/intro/whatever you call it?

I’m obsessed with the prologue to Romeo and Juliet. Not the whole play, but the prologue in particular. I think it’s one of the greatest pieces of writing ever. Nothing could ever match it. How do I learn to write like that?

>>22724777
Seems like are you are actually not being fucked enough.

>>22724834
Congratulations, now you get to deal with the existential dread that you'll never live up to the masters

>>22724885
No. You don’t understand. I need to. I’m not joking at all. I would give up everything I have to be able to write like that. I would take any drug, say any prayer, meet any guru, do any exercise. Anything. I skipped my classes today to read and reread it over and over. I need some guidance on this.

>>22724934

>>22724946
That’s a funny comic. But it doesn’t help. You don’t understand what this is doing to my psyche. Every line, every story, everything I’ve ever written. I might as well delete it all and be done with writing forever if I can’t write like that. In just a few lines, Shakespeare showed everything I’ve ever written to have been for nothing. I need to prove him wrong. I need to write like that. I. Need. To.

>>22724934
What you need is not guidance, at least not beyond reading. Seems like even reading is too dangerous for you. You in danger of just becoming somebody's copy. You don't need to be Shakespeare, he is dead. You don't need to write Romeo and Juliet, it was already written. You are supposed to write something yourself, something new.
>>22724964
It is then probably better to delete and stop. You don't seem made for it. Too weak.

>>22724964
It's very likely Shakespeare was a bastard of a playhouse manager, and in exchange for producing the plays written by randos, demanded to be credited with the writing. Elvis Presley did that with songs written by others.

>>22724964
Don't try to write like Shakespeare anon. Forge your own path.

>>22724977
>It's very likely
*In the minds of schizos