/lit/ - Literature

Invite to the /wg/ NaNoWriMo discord!

https://discord.gg/76kDuuup

What was the justification for deleting the previous thread? Was the picture of the old lady really that offensive, especially by 4chan standards? This place is a dumpster fire.

>>22622121
to make room for more threads about jordan peterson, trannies and israel on the literature board of course

>>22622076

give me a prompt and i will write

>>22622121
Why can't you pretend like this is a literature board for discussion and imagery related to literature and not /b/?

I'm thinking of writing LitRPG because that genre seems popular with a low author barrier to entry.

>>22622366
Write the story YOU want to read.

>>22622340
A lady in her early 60s drives halfway across the state to confront her 80-year-old husband who wants a divorce.
>>22622355
What about the mugshot of the old lady made it /b/ worthy?

Title: Vorgon and The Rape of The Universe

Excerpt: The Smell of Disappointment

Samantha's eyes filled with terror as she gazed up at the slimy, elongated tentacle dangling above her.

"Are you really going to... do that?" Her voice trembled.

She fought against the restraints, but it was futile. Vorgon tightened his grip around her delicate neck.

"Foolish creature! On Gblobbertron, we have no concept of what you call 'rape'," he sneered.

"Resist all you want, but you cannot escape your fate!"

A viscous, translucent fluid began to ooze from his probing tentacle, slowly enveloping Samantha's swollen breasts.

She squealed, desperate to wipe it away but unable to reach. Struggling frantically, her energy waned with each passing moment.

“Wha- what the...” she whimpered breathlessly, falling limp. The strange fluid molested her, pulsing like a heartbeat as it tricked across her bound skin.

Vorgon's grotesque body began to convulse violently, giving birth to a writhing mass of tendrils that slithered menacingly toward Samantha’s most vulnerable and intimate areas.

With one final effort, she squirmed, struggling against the shackles that constrained her bloodied limbs, clawing desperately, but the tendrils slipped through her fingers, their numbers overwhelming.

Samantha's vulnerability was violated.

"Please, no! Stop!" Her anguished cry filled the air.

She was being raped.

Samantha endured the torment inflicted by Vorgon, a repulsive, slug-like entity with a multitude of tentacles, tendrils, and other unsightly appendages.

Yet amidst the horror, she found herself feeling inexplicably drawn to it. Enamored.

"Oh, please!" Her cry melded pleasure and pain. Quivering, she opened her legs fully, white fluid tricking down her moist thighs.

Vorgon was taken aback.

He had committed such acts upon countless females of various species, but never had he encountered one who embraced it.

Humans are enigmatic creatures, he pondered.

As he coldly ended Samantha's life and consumed her remains, Vorgon wondered if other human females would be equally disappointing.

https://pastebin.com/dtcg6Ska
critique and rate
how is the scene coming across?

Last time im posting this. I just want a thread that survives longer then a few hours.


> micz.substack.com/p/the-death-of-randall-jarrell

>>22622467
YAWN. does anything happen? i dont care about 2 dweebs being boring

How do I reduce the usage of he/she and him/his/her in my writing?

>>22622711
if you are the guy that was asking about connecting verbs the other day, it’s the same answer

>>22622586
Sorry not for me .
Do you get allot of views from here? I remember you posting statistics and I can't imagine we have 500 people reading these threads.

>>22622732
Nope, that wasn’t me; I have no idea what you’re talking about.

>>22622467
I feel like she's just something for the main character to talk at instead of being a real person herself. Is that intentional? She seems to be a placeholder for bouncing the idea of a conversation off of instead of her own physical material thing.

I feel like she should show signs of distress, like she would want to explode and the main character notices it.

“Yea, that seems about right. It fits someone like you, quiet and mysterious.”

I'd put some tension into that, maybe a noticeable chill to her tone or a look. Like she's annoyed that you can switch off and she wishes she could.

Alternatively, have the character not comfort her and double down on his obliviousness. Make them struggle to connect

>>22622743
ah, sorry
do you mind sharing what you think is a problem paragraph? or more if you dont mind
otherwise my shot in the dark is that you should try to describe the senses and your characters emotions and thoughts.. rather than simply stating what theyre doing

>>22622711
The anonymous poster wondered, he scratched his head.

"Surely there must be SOMETHING I can do?" Anon thought.

However, he didn't know he was gay and retarded, and the answer continued to elude him.

Okay, it's me again. I've tried doing some writing shit and idk what happened, but due to something, i turned up into a depressed and absurdist, went to a hospital for a week and still feel the aftermath of this shit.

I uh, might be trying to figure out something, idk what anymore, but it may comic script related for story work. I still don't know what to do with characters and everything for my stories and whatever the fuck we have.

I'd just like to remind every schizophreniac and woman in this thread that while writing might be therapeutic, writing is not your therapy.

Please keep your mental issues and repressed sexual urges out of books because it gets fucking annoying.

>>22622785
try the ‘write whats in your mind’ thread, and be clear and honest about what you have to say

>>22622090
Two perfectly good threads died because of you. Cretins.

>>22622586
Not bad honestly.

>>22622738
Jesus 500 isnt bad. I'd span my fan fiction bullshit on here if i thought i'd get that many views

>>22622801
The problem is that too many wannabe writers want to be the next Bret Easton Ellis, David Foster Wallace, or Robert M. Pirsig. They see "ooo le edgy" and want to take the easy way out.

>>22622813
too many? everyone is writing ya and web series
i just wish the paeuds would do some actual story telling

>>22622777
>do you mind sharing what you think is a problem paragraph? or more if you dont mind
I could, but I don’t think I should. It’s not anything serious and is just for fun unlike most of the stuff ITT. I was writing/editing when I noticed I used those words a lot. I don’t have anyone to edit/read my autistic gibberish, so I figured I’d ask here.
>otherwise my shot in the dark is that you should try to describe the senses and your characters emotions and thoughts.. rather than simply stating what theyre doing
Thanks. I’ll also look into the connecting verbs thing.
>>22622783
lol

>>22622776
thanks for giving me your impression
I think with more context from other scenes that feeling might go away, this isn't supposed to be a big scene where she starts bawling or fighting but something more subdued I guess

What are some good reasons as to why two adult characters that are in love with each other at the outset of the story haven't been married yet?

This may be a pretty common question but how do I best sort out the ideas in my head?

I have sections of a story played out and can visually see them in my mind like a movie yet have trouble actually writing them.
Often I will get stuck at some minor hurdle and can't progress for a bit.

>>22622076

https://midnightpantomime.substack.com/

My latest story is about outlaw youths trying to stage a heist in a full scale american reproduction of solomon's temple.

https://midnightpantomime.substack.com/p/the-third-temple

>>22622711
>"Blah blah blah." Character did a thing. "Blah blah blah."

>>22623023
All love starts with mutual attraction of some sort and anything else is unamerican

>>22622711
There's nothing wrong with that. Forget what your highschool teacher told you.

>>22622340
A noir era detective is desperately trying to make a crime seem more supernatural than it is because he's bored. He connects dots that shouldn't connect, fabricates evidence, tampers with crime scenes to try and make a series of serial murders appear esoteric and unnatural, when they're realistically not. He progressively becomes more skitzo as he goes on and inevitably loses his mind chasing things that don't exist and are a figment of his imagination. He eventually is no longer able to descern the original crime from what he embelished and goes full skitzo, thinking it was always like this.
You're welcome for the best seller idea. Give me royalties or I will be sad :(

>>22623145
Pretty similar to the Twilight Zone episode "One More Pallbearer":
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0734608/
Maybe you need to leave the house more often.

>>22622586
Boring and gay. And I'm high and that first sentence was a tongue twister.

>>22623040

Write the emotional beats plainly at first, point by point, don't worry about losing inspirstion, that's bound to happen. Then, what you want to happen in an ordered list.
1. Character wants coffee
2.Character can't stand because he's old
3.Character either overcomes through herculean effort or decides to defeat him

Then you add an extra sentence of detail adding to his anguish or his battle to the three points maybe a memory of a lost time when he used to play a sport. Repeat this until you have too much detail and too much backstory.
Then whittle away and carve out the best version of the story

>>22623312
So I basically create and outline (kind of like a sketch in drawing) and then add more layers and detail to the individual passages? Originally it looks like a dumbed down script for a movie scene and eventually turns into a fully detailed passage?

My main problem was that I constantly got bogged down with some minor issues because I always tried to right straight away as it were the final version.

>>22623335
>to right
to write
Yes I am an ESL.

>>22622801
What happened?

>>22623335
Are you aware of the snowflake method?
https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/

Having a terrible time trying to write a personal statement for graduate admissions - specifically law school. Bought a book of essays that worked for Harvard admissions. It's full of trite garbage. Is that what the admin officers want? What's the best way to go about writing one of these things?

>>22623363
No but thanks for posting it.
I needed something like this.

1/1
On a hot, dusty Morning, somewhere in the Middle east, inside a destroyed room on the sixth floor of an abandoned luxury hotel, two figures hidden under camouflaged, nylon netting silently watched.
They were Marine Scout Snipers, tasked with finding and eliminating some kind of ace insurgent sniper. He had been harassing US forces for weeks and all the intel reports pointed to this part of the city being his hideout. They selected this spot not only for the sight lines but for the comfortable furniture. They knew that by the time the second hour passed, neither of them wanted to be sitting on anything without a cushion
Byers the shooter was prone on the comfortable, expensive carpet, the glass and debris swept away so that a clean, even surface could be used to set up his rifle
McKay the spotter sat on the once luxurious bed nearby, looking through a powerful spotters scope set up on a broken dresser.
"Seriously bro" Byers broke the silence "She's gonna leave you as soon as we get back"
"Shut the fuck up" McKay replied as he reached for his water bottle
"I'm just saying bro, you know Captain Steele in intel got cheated on?" Byers asked. "Dude's an officer, still couldn't keep a wife"
"Not every female is disloyal, asshole" McKay said as tossed the bottle cap at him.
"Hey, don't fuck up my zero" Byers complained as the cap bounced off the scope of his gun. It rolled to the wall and came to a stop in the corner.
The room became silent again as the two marines watched the street. Five minutes dragged into ten, ten into fifteen, fifteen into thirty. The sun began to angle to the west as the morning turned into the afternoon. The wind picked up a little and caused some dust clouds to accumulate in the distance, randomly obscuring the sight lines and hiding movement.
McKay knew Byers would be frustrated by it, he was almost glad. He counted down from five and as if on cue...
"Fucking dust storms" Byers grumbled
McKay didn't bother looking up from his spotters scope as he smirked.
Again, the minutes dragged on and the snipers once again acclimated to the environment. Barely audible sighs, silent gulps of water, slight shuffling to get comfortable. The odd monotone, almost distant white noise of communication on the radio.
McKay had just begun losing himself focusing on a window in his scope when the crinkling of plastic followed by swearing broke his concentration,. He glanced and eyed Byers while he fumbled with a bag of beef jerky
“Fuck are you doing?” He asked
“I used a knife to cut it open but I cut the part that seals it, you know?” Byers said as he rolled the plastic as best he could.

>>22623400
2/2

McKay rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Give me one” he said as he held out his hand and looked back through his scope. Just as he did, something caught his eye.
“Movement, white building, left of the mosque, three floors up, second balcony from the end. Blue sheet”
Byers dropped the jerky and looked through his own scope, he scanned the area and followed the details McKay gave to him.
“Blue sheet” He repeated.
McKay quickly calculated the distance and gave an estimate “550 Yards. Wind is around 3 miles out of the west.”
“550, wind 3 from the west, copy” Byers repeated.
They sat in silence, intensely focused on the blue sheet in the balcony. Neither dared to move, speak or disturb the environment around them as they watched.
McKay intently watched the balcony though his scope, was it the wind? Were his eyes playing tricks on him? It had to have been moved by someone, the angle was wrong if the western wind moved it. It was hard to say for sure but it looked like someone from inside propped the sheet up just enough to see out of...
It moved again. This time they both saw it
“Blue sheet moved” McKay relayed to Byers
“Yeah I saw, I saw” Byers replied, he switched the safety off his heavy barrelled, bolt action sniper rifle and inhaled, attempting to slow his breathing and heart rate down.
McKay's adrenaline began pumping, his eye hyper focused on every inch of the balcony, he strained to make out every detail, catch every hint of movement.
Byers finger closed on the trigger, millimetres separated the two when a sudden burst of activity moved the sheet. He suddenly found his cross hairs targeting a small child playing on the balcony, a second child came running out of the blue sheet, older, probably his sister. She grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him inside
Byers sharply exhaled and pulled his hand away from the gun as if it were a hot pan. “Jesus Christ” he said as he gave an exasperated chuckle. “We almost smoked a kid”
“Yeah” McKay agreed, as he watched the the children run back inside.
Pulses returned to normal and adrenaline receded. The minutes passed and nothing came out onto the balcony again. Five minutes dragged into ten, ten into fifteen, fifteen into thirty. The wind whistled through the broken window, the dust clouds sporadically appeared in the distance and the sun angled deeper into the west.
“Give me some jerky” McKay finally ordered to Byers, not bothering to look up from his scope.
“It fell on the floor bro, that was your piece” Byers replied without looking up from his own.
“Fuck you” said McKay.

He tightened the pliers, relishing in Casey’s misery. The air hung heavy with tension.

"What's that, huh?" Nigel's voice dripped with sadistic satisfaction as he increased the pressure, causing her agonized gasps to become more desperate. His eyes gleamed with a perverse delight as he continued his relentless torment.

"Stop..." she managed to rasp, her voice barely a whisper.

Ignoring the pleas, Nigel pressed on without mercy. He had invested too much into this interrogation to back down now. The breaking point was imminent, hanging by a thread, ready to snap at any moment.

And then, with a sickening crack, it happened. Casey's (only) remaining toe yielded to the relentless force, and she let out a piercing shriek before surrendering to unconsciousness.

A cold smile creeped across Nigel's face, his victory secured. The girl had proven to be a tenacious fighter, enduring every torment he had inflicted upon her. There was a perverse satisfaction in witnessing her endurance, as if it echoed that of her mother.

In the shadowy room, Nigel paused to survey his handiwork. Moonlight pierced through the darkness, casting a haunting glow upon Casey's motionless form, her brokenness juxtaposed with an undeniable allure.

"Remarkable resilience, she suffered well" Nigel mused, his voice slipping into a trance-like state. He found himself inexplicably captivated by the macabre scene before him. "To waste such undeniable beauty would be a tragedy."

Lost in the depths of his twisted fascination, he whispered the words softly, almost to himself. The horror of his actions remained distant, eclipsed by a morbid infatuation with the aftermath; he knew must be done.

>>22622076
Should I depict a character death or leave it ambiguous?
For context it's the main protagonist getting into a rage when her mother doesn't answer her questions on a very vital subject, also to consider is that her mother tried to abort her twice. I feel like I should depict it for justice but then again I feel like leaving it ambiguous until near the end and revealing what she chose. It's hard to choose which one /wg/

>>22623400
>>22623405
>>22623417
Jesus Christ guys, put it in a link or image.

>>22623427
pastebin filters and I'm phone posting, copy paste is the best I can do, deal with it

Is it weird to say "long-standing history"?

Like "Social policy in Germany has a long-standing history...". Or is "long" enough? Because just long sounds kind of to colloquial to me.

>>22623563

Try: "Has an established history of"

>>22623400
>>22623405
Trying to write military fiction without knowing how military men speak is like intentional cringe generation.

Allow me to rip your milky toast shit apart. Aside from boring introduction,
>a powerful spotters scope
Rangefinder.
>"I'm just saying bro, you know Captain Steele in intel got cheated on?"
You know Jody is fucking Cap Steele's wife? He's a (SIGINT? HUMINT?) officer and he couldn't keep Jody away.
>"Not every female is disloyal, asshole" McKay said as tossed the bottle cap at him.
Not every bitch is a bitch/Not every woman fucks around/honestly what a shit line.
>"Hey, don't fuck up my zero" Byers complained as the cap bounced off the scope of his gun. It rolled to the wall and came to a stop in the corner.
(That would not fuck with a zero at all whatsoever unless the scope is made of chineseium.)
>“Fuck are you doing?” He asked
>“I used a knife to cut it open but I cut the part that seals it, you know?” Byers said as he rolled the plastic as best he could.
"The fuck you doing?"
"I just opened my jerky with a knife-"
"Just rip that shit open retard, and give me one" (proceeds to grab a large handful)
>heavy barrelled, bolt action sniper rifle
That falls so flat. I thought the bit before was not too bad. Barrel has very little to do with anything. If you want to be fancy maybe make it chrome-lined, call it a precision rifle, marksman rifle, I don't know. Generally most people will get the mental picture right away anyhow.
>McKay's adrenaline began pumping
If this is enough to get his heart pumping he needs xanax ASAP.
>Byers finger closed on the trigger
This makes me think he's either a retard or very triggerhappy.
>“We almost smoked a kid”
"Damn, I almost shot Bambi!"

Overall it was tolerable but not interesting. Military men don't talk like this. You either are intentionally watering down the dialogue which is like shooting yourself in the foot with 00 because it's why people watch shit like Generation Kill to begin with, or you have no idea how they talk.

>>22623568
>>22623563

"Germany has an established history of ____ in its social policy"

>>22623426
Have the main character smash her mother to death with a cinderblock. Full description of squishy bits.

If it doesn't make reader go "what the fuck" you didn't describe it well enough.

>>22623576
Well if the only critique is the dialogue then I'm in good shape. I dont know anyone in the military so thank you

>>22623591
I don't either, but soldiers are fucking extremely crude. Write a pirate, then remove all the yarrs and references to scurvy dogs. There you have a fucking muhreen.

>>22623568
>>22623578
Hmmm... It's my starting sentence and the focus should be rather on social policy, less on Germany as I want to write about the characteristics of social policy.

>>22623596
I'll keep that in mind

>>22623600
It could still work if you're using Germany as an example of case use for the policy and then segue into the policy itself.

>Germany does this
>Here's how it's shaped the country/economy
>Here's how it's supposed to work.

I want to blog…do people still blog anymore? I hate this social media shit. I’ve even thought about making a low budget zine with my essays and printing it out and leaving it places…what do we think?

>>22623617
You can blog but you will have less readers than average anon here shitposting.

>>22623630
That’s fine with me. I don’t want to talk to normies anyway.
Which sites are good for it? Don’t want to get into hosting my own, too much work

>>22623390
Write what you think, then have ChatGPT translate it into "normie" speak.

>>22623614
I'll come straight out: I don't talk about Germany, I talk about the European Union and how its social policy is weak despite having a long history. I just don't want some weird plagiarism detector to fuck me.

"Socpolicy in the EurOnion has a long-standing history marked by highs and lows and characterized.........." is how my sentence starts.

>>22623461
pastes.io doesn't censor; other anons use that.

>>22623591
Why won't people write what they know? Or study something they want to write about until they know it? /wg/ is full of lazy morons, and yet they wonder why they haven't made it yet.

>>22623398
You're entirely welcome.

>>22623662

Or even present an example of work and have others critique it? Wouldnt that be wild? To just have people you dont know take it apart so you can improve?

>>22623654
Still works though

"The European Union has an established history of ____ as a social policy. The results of which have become a point of contention for blah blah blah"

>>22623686
But I wanna talk about the policy field of social policy in general. How does established history of ______ (insert specific policy here) as a social policy" work?

>>22623702

Let's start over, is this an essay? Then you should present specifics for your argument. Just saying "It's weak" doesnt mean shit if you cant find a case use for it. Crime? Economy? Is there a specific reason for your position that can sway someone on the other side to listen?

>met a new writer friend IRL
>seems like the type who'd post ITT
Remember rules 1 and 2 bro

>>22623716
Its the VERY FIRST sentence, I will give an argument in my second sentence. I just ask about the formulation, thanks for telling me that I have to give arguments.

>>22623617
>blog

What year is this?

I've been using bing's ai generator making mockups for my covers. The way it can do convincing photos of physical books is impressive. It's a shame you can't use them for commercial use though.

>>22623762
>you can't use them for commercial use
Said who?
>Subject to the Content Policy and Terms, you own the images you create with DALL·E, including the right to reprint, sell, and merchandise – regardless of whether an image was generated through a free or paid credit.

>>22623789
microsoft/bing's term of service for the image editor
https://www.bing.com/new/termsofuse?FORM=GENTOS
>you may use Creations outside of the Online Services for any legal personal, non-commercial purpose.
That's strange though. Dall-3 allows it but Microsoft doesn't? Seems awfully backwards to me. I want whatever quality zaza Micopoop smokes, maybe I could pump out writing faster.

>>22623798
Just claim you generated it through ChatGPT Plus

>>22623645
Literally blogspot.

>>22623744
It's not gay if the balls aren't touching & only the bottom is gay?

>>22623815

>>22623563

Are you British? In America, longstanding is preferred.

>>22623617
substack?

>>22623756
It works, it's just formatted to flow better but I didnt realize I was talking with ESL

>>22623702
IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME THING BEING SAID IT IS JUST FORMATTED TO FLOW BETTER jesus christ...

>>22623400
>"I'm just saying bro, you know Captain Steele in intel got cheated on?" Byers asked. "Dude's an officer, still couldn't keep a wife"
GIVE ME A FIFTY, MARINE.

>>22623667
I'm asking for anons to make basic attempts to know their subject matter before they write. And yes, I know that's too much to ask of this place. But what's the point of basing fiction around a subject one knows nothing about? There's only one way that experience ends, and it's not good.

>>22623702
Just try to snow them with doublespeak. Here's an inspirational video on that topic...and it's even British:
https://youtu.be/dIto5mwDLxo&t=59

>>22623942
>What's the point of branching out and testing the waters with material to see what areas you can improve upon from opinions of people who dont care about your feelings but can only improve your work through critique?
You got me anon, Nothing's a work in progress. It should all spill out on to the page fully formed and ready for a Booker Prize

>>22624000
Really? So you think "it's obvious you've done no research on the topic you're writing about' is useful feedback?

>>22624010
This IS the research, you unbearably dense moron. The dialogue isnt realistic. That's the only real critique I can see that deserves some serious attention above the rest. Care to share anything else about it? Can you reccomend some good media to study to get the lingo and dynamics right? No? Then shut the fuck up

i don't want to read about army fags to begin with

>>22624023
You consistently miss the point. Learn about how soldiers operate, and interact, on your own time, instead of expecting others to feed it to you piecemeal. You seem to be very entitled.

What are the most important elements to consider when beginning a novel?

I really don't want to suddenly vomit out a bunch of setting info, I want that to subtly unfold over time. When it comes to the principle characters, how should I first present them? As cliche as it is, I want to begin with a dream - Should I use this to showcase backstory? I feel as though this can be used to induce a sort of in medias res effect which allows for an introduction with dramatic action before winding back.

Overall the story I have in mind is pretty complex in terms of plot/setting/character, so I'm worried about getting off on the right foot.

>>22624070
So your problem is that research methods are different? Really?

>flash fictions by anons
Pretty neat.

>>22624080
The three most important elements are hook, hook, and hook

>reading the other writer's work ahead of the convention
>everybody else is writing a war epic

>>22624094
Your "research method' expects others to do your work for you. How are you missing this point?

>>22624130
I presented work for critique after believeing I had resewrched enough, another responded that I had not. Ican now research deeper in the areas I was not aware I was weak in. This is called learning. You are not making a point, you are projecting a fear of involving outside perspective

>>22622586
Not bad but I liked your translation more.>>22622711

>>22623923
>>22623400
>"I'm just saying bro, you know Captain Steele in intel got cheated on?" Byers asked. "Dude's an officer, still couldn't keep a wife"
Not to be that guy but this is common enough that it would barely be worth mentioning. Unless he was particularly high ranking. Idk too much about burger ranks but if they're like ours you want Major or above if you're trying to make a point.

>>22623576
>"The fuck you doing?"
>"I just opened my jerky with a knife-"
>"Just rip that shit open retard, and give me one"
Holy kek I've had this exact conversation.
>(proceeds to grab a large handful)
Sides: In orbit

Gen kill was good shit, most true to life show I've ever seen.

>>22623576
I hope you're a burger, if you're aiming for UK mil then it's even more incomprehensible anon. I think it's so comical the way our lot speak that you might want to do a section on it in the book.

>slightly adjust the color contrast in my cover image
>10 new followers in a day
Is there a writing website out there where people care about writing?

>>22624697
>I hope you're a burger
I'm a slavoid with borderline pathological interest in aircraft and milsims.

I cannot possibly grasp the clusterfuck that is bong military. Though one particular video is stuck in my memory.
>bong infantry is getting tubed
>they crawl under their vehicles
>INCOMING!
>FUKKEN 'ELL... 'scuse my language!

>>22624898
Of course not. I don't think ever in history we had this low signal to noise ratio.

>>22624925
It's probably about the same in terms of organisation, from what I've heard through international exercises is that burgers don't really do much "Planning" They just assume they'll win because they have bigger gun.
What I think would be difficult would just be how different the language is even from unit to unit. It's like a totally lexicon for units that exists on the same camp. It's funny in a frustrating way.

>>22624968
>how different the language is even from unit to unit. It's like a totally lexicon for units that exists on the same camp.
That's the thing I couldn't possibly replicate without knowing someone on the inside. Burger military is easy enough to do.

>>22622586
I think you might have overdone it with the verbosity. But i do like the general feel of discovering a great writer.

Not sure it's for me but thanks for sharing anon.

Comments?

Once upon a time in the whimsical town of Pungentville, there lived a young man named Timmy Tootalot. Timmy had an unusual talent - he could produce musical notes with his farts. He had kept this secret for years, fearing ridicule. However, one day, as he sat on a park bench, he decided it was time to share his unique gift with the world.

Timmy gathered a small crowd by the town square's fountain, took a deep breath, and let out a thunderous fart that resonated like a tuba. The townsfolk were initially shocked but soon began to laugh uncontrollably.

Old Mrs. Henderson, known for her love of classical music, turned to her husband, Harold, and chuckled, "Harold, I do declare, that sounded just like Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, didn't it?"

Harold chuckled in response, "Why, I think you might be right, Ethel. Perhaps we've just witnessed a new musical genius."

A local reporter named Susie Snickersniff captured the moment on her camera and posted it on Pungentville's social media, dubbing Timmy "The Windy Virtuoso."

News of Timmy's talent spread like wildfire, and soon he was invited to perform at the Pungentville Talent Show. He practiced diligently, composing symphonies of flatulence. He had a unique act for every genre – jazz, classical, even rock and roll.

On the night of the talent show, Timmy walked onto the stage in a tuxedo. The audience was packed with fans eager to hear his unusual melodies. With each fart, he played a different instrument, captivating the crowd with his bizarre, yet strangely impressive performance.

As he finished his grand finale, a standing ovation erupted from the audience. The mayor of Pungentville, Mayor Jenkins, approached Timmy on stage, shaking his hand. "Timmy, you've brought a new form of art to our town, and we're proud to have you as one of our own."

A renowned music producer happened to be in the audience and immediately offered Timmy a record deal. Soon, he became a global sensation, touring the world and performing at sold-out arenas.

But fame came with its challenges. Timmy struggled to maintain his composure during interviews and TV appearances, often letting out accidental farts that left talk show hosts and their audiences in stitches.

During one such interview, the host, Sarah, asked through fits of laughter, "Timmy, what's your secret to maintaining such a unique musical gift?"

Timmy, with a grin, replied, "Well, Sarah, it's all about timing, and sometimes, beans."

He even had a fragrance line named "Eau de Tootalot," which inexplicably became a bestseller.

Timmy's journey was filled with ups and downs, but he had found his place in the world, proving that even the most unconventional talents could bring joy to people. And so, in Pungentville, the legend of Timmy Tootalot, the Windy Virtuoso, continued to waft through the air, reminding us all to embrace our quirks and let our unique talents shine – no matter how unexpected they may be.

>>22622586
Schlock written by a retard who uses AI to translate Leopardi. Stop spamming your schlock here, loser

>>22625640
Obvious ChatGPT.

>>22625701
No, I wrote this myself anon

>>22625772
I’m such a sentimental motherfucker. On some days just reading a poem or a bit of verse can make me cry. Anyone the same?

What character journey should I write for an incel would-be mass murderer who hates society? Genre will be LitRPG.

I've completed day 9 of my 10 day experiment of writing 350 words for each of my six stories every day. Tomorrow I will have finished it and the experience gained will make me more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
HOWEVER!
I also finished one of the stories today, meaning I have to now start a new story tomorrow.

>>22622806
>perfectly good threads
>/wg/
Kek

>>22623102
And it’s shit. Color me unsurprised.

>>22622076
do you accept poetry for critique here?

>>22626301
Critique?

>>22626305
simply for reading then

If you can't write characters smarter than yourself, what's a way to keep your story low and stupid so you don't make a fool of yourself?

>wrote 4 part series on the origins of an evil villain
>part 1 is an interesting unconventional story but because its not cliches nobody will give a shit or publish it
>part 2 is a cliche good guys fight the villain story except 70% in most of the heroes die when they finally confront the villain so they have to regroup and try again
>part 3 is about a group of anti heroes trying to stop the same villain but the dialogue ended up being really good and the characters are easily the most interesting and developed out of all parts, but nobody will read it because I cant imagine selling the story
>part 4 is basically about politics game of thrones esque and outsmarting one another, interesting characters but nobody will read it because noname

kind of a shame
just writing short stories now maybe something catches on and i can use that to publish shit

My story is currently written with six chapters of at least 4000 words on Royalroad (actually I don't force myself to fulfill a quota)
It's isn't a isekai or a litrpg, but a original story

Is the forum worth it or not? I need comments on what I can improve, I don't need any reviews

My first interaction with the forum wasn't that good
A moron kept telling me to write an isekai instead of a fanfic since it was going to "sell" instead of telling me the problem of my first novel (which I dropped)
The worst part being that my posts were down voted and his up voted as if he wasn't off-topic

>>22626491
It's a meme and you know it, but you will ignore my post saying that you can't write because you are "stupid" blaming the world

You just need time to think of schemes and consume more media, that's all

>>22626267
Excellent job anon.

>>22626653
RR is not what it once was. Anything that isn't (litrpg) isekai or progression fantasy will fail, and fail hard. The audience there wants a very particular kind of content and nothing else. Unfortunately there isn't an equivalent site that is as popular for more traditional stories.

>>22626653
It’s not like this place is any better than the RR forums.

>>22626809
>It’s not like this place is any better than the RR forums.
One of the reasons why I didn't it post here despite knowing that I may obtain some interesting reviews buried in useless ones
Also I don't want my story to be connected to this place

>>22626766
I just want to hone my craft, some comments are better than none

>>22622586
i feel this is the wrong place for you. most of lit's readers have no experience with poetry as i have learned to my cost from tying to start various poetry related threads in the past

>>22626828
I’ve posted my work here plenty of times over the years and it hasn’t come back to haunt me yet.
Let’s tempt fate.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/436962/a-hero-among-monsters/
I also never got useful feedback from these retards. Just trolling. It’s like playing Russian Roulette without the death.

https://pastebin.com/b51Pn1B2

>>22626766
I've been writing a space opera on there for the past 3 years and crosspost it on SB and scribblehub. It doesn't faze me whether it gets popular or not. My mindset was staunchly just wanting to write a story I'd read and not give myself endless migrains figuring out the hellscape that's publication. I refrained from even putting out ads because I stuck true to my word not wanting to commercialize it in any way. Writing and posting stories online in any form, in any genre, is equivalent to fishing and waiting, and you'll be waiting forever. The journey of a writer online is something like a dinky little boat sailing forever into the misty void; sometimes other boats come along for the ride, who may or may not depart as time passes.

I stopped posting on the forums years ago because once you realize it's other writers and no readers. It's futile. This is the same for any discord writing servers ( did the informal /wg/-adjacent one get deleted? wonder if anyone remembers it) It isn't any better here—you could probably say the only difference is the anonymity, and likewise I stopped posting and browsing here too until recently. Nobody here or there, or anywhere, is going to read each other work's out of personal interest, and not out of obligation with those shout-outs and review swaps. Writing is a solitary activity for the most part, indulging in here too much with crabs in the bucket is a distraction. but that's my experience with writing for the past few years. I never went "legit" seeking publication back then because I was too naive and too optimistic. I think I got too disillusioned along the way, as I near 30 and accomplished little to nothing in life, it makes me wonder if I should tear it all down and revise, and hope I can at least self publish and make a little penny off it. anyways writing forums are futile unless you wanna engage in the mundane.

The male lead is my story is tall, handsome, heroic and muscular to the point where beautiful woman practically throw themselves at him, but he's so uncertain/shy around women that he doesn't pick up on their signals. It's my power fantasy and I'll do whatever I want with it.

>>22627272
>>22627316
post your rr links and i will follow, favorite and 5 star with both of my accounts

>>22626653
>>22627406

"You may pull oil from the cracks of the world, Prince," Greta said, holding a ripe banana in one hand, "but from a single seed of change, an entire forest can grow."

As she spoke, she peeled back the skin of the banana with a careful fondness, revealing the soft, sweet fruit underneath. With a naturalness that reflected her belief in organic living, she took a bite, her eyes not leaving that of the Prince's.

As the night drew on, their conversation deepened, and the untouched bananas started to dwindle one by one. Every time Greta felt the lure of hunger, she'd reach for a banana, peeling, biting, cherishing the sweetness – a constant reminder of the earth's gifts when treated with care.

During the course of the evening, each banana peel became a symbol, a proof of each fruitful discourse, each understanding met, and each idea shared in their conversation - all part of the unending fight for a sustainable world.

>>22627406
Based.

I felt a flash of inspiration when I read about this recent event happening and thought it could make for an interesting short story.
Is it a bad idea to be too topical? Should I wait a few months or years?

>>22627514
are you ready to take on this idea and have it not be obvious, tacky, or shallow? sure

>>22622586

It's not bad but the rhyme is excessive (home... alone... metronome...) and sounds stretching to go for "metronome" (which is something we think of as audible rather than visual).

It would be better as unrhyming free verse.

>Discovered like lost work by some great sage.

I suggest using "of" a great sage rather than "by" because first time reading it, "by" makes it sound like it belongs to the act of discovery. In other words the great sage has discovered the work, which sounds off, sounds like the writer is comparing himself to a "great sage."

But over all, it's pretty good. Keep writing.

Just got back from one of Robert Mckee's legendary seminars.
Honestly, it was more enthralling as a one-man-play than a lecture. One thing he talked about was how his brother stole money from him and how he cut him out of his life. He'd start laughing and you could tell he was holding back tears.
I was going to recommend David Lynch's The Straight Story to him during the Q&A. But I think he could sense I was going to lay some heavy shit on him so I didn't get called on.
Highly recommend. It's worth the price less as an educational resource, more as an elitist performance art show.

>>22627684

How much did it cost you?

>>22627728
Too much for anyone who'd ask.

>>22627684
>t. robert mckee

>>22627827
>t. Blake Snyder

>>22627741

Probably shouldn't shill it here then

what are some cheatcodes for writing a fun story.. when speedrunning (nanowrimo)?
low hanging fruit-- things that might provide a lot of value, immersion, whatever, when your story is otherwise shit?

>>22627294
Very interesting. Didn't realize his situation until he started talking about graverobbing, but that's probably just me being a little retarded.
Anyway, I liked it and would probably read more of this.

>>22627973
>cheatcodes for writing a fun story

>>22627906
Not everyone here is a peasant like you

>>22628003
i mean that's all it is, brother. what keys do i press to get a reaction out of the reader?
and absurdity is one, sure. thanks

>>22628026
have fun at work tomorrow, king

>>22628204
lol what good would my money be if I had to work for it?

>>22622738
Not many, just under a hundred. I do still get about 5 subscribers per poem whenever post it here. So its kinda worth it and i do like the interactions.

>>22622806
Why thank you.

>>22623289
Sorry not a high kinda poem. I do have some light verse that might actually work for that though.

>>22624623
Thanks.
I plan on doing more Leopardi soon, If only for the sake of that one guy who gets really mad.

>>22625643
Speaking of which. Hello.

>>22625041
That was the plan. Have it open on a 'dark and stormy night' and then get into my own impressions of love for his work.
People have complained it's too dense, and that no doubt gets in the way of the flow.

>>22626904
Perhaps.
Im open to recommendations.
And thank you for reading .

>>22627645
I did try it in free verse. A couple of times actually, but eventually had to admit it wasn't getting anywhere.

> home... alone... metronome...
Yes I thought of getting rid of the slant rhyme with alone but shamefully i kinda like it. The metronome sound was what made me continue with the poem as is rather then rewrite it again.

As for the 'of/by', the original version of the line was:

> discovered like the work of some great sage

I think you may be right on that one. I changed it at the end because it was sounding too formal and i wanted the poem to have a story telling kind of feel. Starting as it were with a 'dark and stormy night' and moving into my own feelings on Jarrell and his work.

I may change it in the future.
And Thanks. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it carefully.

Cheers.

>>22628201
This video is a quality guide
https://youtu.be/GlKL_EpnSp8?si=5ePqUCZRi31r6Q32

>>22623145
Pretty sure Borges already wrote this anon

>>22628239
>B-o-OKAY
Lmao, kek.

>>22622801
I think there are some writers who write about stuff that bothers them and such and produce good works thereby.

Binky Brown and the Virgin Mary, for one thing.

>>22628434
Writing about things that bother you is not the same as writing about your mental illness or how much you want to fuck your mother or something along the lines of that.

>Yesterdays rice (Microwaved)
>Cold coffee from stolen sachets
>Neighbours wifi
>Phone speaker for ambience
>2 copies of infinite jest, one in English and one in the original American
Let's get that fucking bread

I'm feeling it today lads. My fingers tingle with words.

this is my first time posting my writing publicly

What do you think of it? It's a draft of a part of a chapter I had in mind.

What is good, and what should I change?

>>22628737
>He stood up and left, leaving his wife-to-be alone
Left and leaving is redundant.
>He stood up and left his wife-to-be alone.
Though I don't know if even the "alone" is necessary since we already know they were in private.

>>22627973
Believe it or not there are actually such cheat codes. Many of them are written about in Storr's book on fiction. For example, an easy means of quickly gaining audience sympathy for the main character is putting them in a situation in which they are subject to an unjust abuse of power by an authority figure, resulting in public humiliation.

Other cheat codes include stuff like incorporating jokes, anecdotes, and human interest stories from the news. These make for great dialogue and require very little thought to develop. Or taking a mundane activity (like going to work or eating a meal) and translating that to the world of your story. Immersion requires both familiarity and foreignness so its a great way to immerse your reader in your world.

>>22628737
>first time posting my pubic writing
bro why you writing with your cock?

The dialogue gets a little too expositional at times. Often when characters tell each other things they already know they're not really talking to each other, but saying it to the reader, which brings readers right out of the story.
Other than that this is some good work. It's very heavily dramatized; there are clear conflicts at play from the first sentence.

I can’t write I keep having to shit.

How write time
Paradox

>>22629300
Simply publish a book of blank pages

>>22626267
It's done. Day 10 is finished. At this exact rate, I'd be able to write a 63k word story for nanowrimo, but lectures start again tomorrow so that's not happening.

>>22629258
>"GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU'RE SHITTING YOURSELF!"
>"not yet"

I asked this before and didn't get an answer (or didn't see the answer before the last thread got deleted), but do you think it's possible to successfully combine so-called "classic" horror, such as vampires or werewolves, with elements of cosmic horror?

>>22629346
just make the origin of their curse something cosmic (an older god or some space virus)
pretty easy

>>22629346
Easy, just make it a story where the vampire/werewolf is wandering from place to place so they don't always hunt from the same population and have them arrive in your setting's version if Innsmouth
Or maybe the vampire goes to an asylum to recruit a thrall and meets someone who was driven mad by the Old Ones, leading the poor vampire down a dark path they didn't bargain for

>>22629349
That might be cool. Like the first vampire was a caveman who was exposed to a cosmic virus contained within a small meteorite or something, and he went on the spread it over the thousands of years that have passed since then.

>>22629382
you might want to read something like saya no uta for inspiration on what some cosmic horror looks like in the modern age

>>22629346
You mean like the way the "Laundry Files" by Charles Stross did exactly that?

>>22622586
Hey anon I remember you saying you had a publisher look at your work. I'm now looking for someone to have a look at mine. How did you go about getting you noticed

>>22629250
Thanks. I see your point with the exposition, especially with how many years ago Filomena's mother died, the terms of the agreement, etc.

Thanks for the feedback and the compliments.

>>22628753
Yeah actually good point on that, that's true. I'll change that.

I've generated an idea for a slasher movie but I have no clue how to write a screenplay.

>>22628238
Retard.

>>22629718
One page = 1 minute of screentime
Look up the formatting online, then get cracking on an outline. Then fill in the outline.

>>22629482
Never heard of it.

How do you write a believable romance if you're autistic and can't feel attraction towards other people?

>>22629739
Well, now you have. It's even award-winning. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files

>>22629890
Very easily, you just need to not be fucking retarded.

I think believable romances come to autists even easier than to normgroids. Simply make it about math and action-reaction. Character A does something character B appreciates, character B does something character A appreciates, they slowly realize they really like each other.

It really depends on the type of romance you are trying to write. If you're trying to write love at first sight type of slop yeah you're kind of fucked because I have no clue what makes normgroids attracted to that type of shit.

I finished my manuscript in August. I have to start editing it sooner or later. I'm scared of the amount of work involved and the ultimate futility of it, knowing I won't get published even if I do edit it.

>>22630027
just self publish like everyone else

please give me all your cliches to avoid in a murder mystery
mine has a sci-fi spin on it if it makes a difference

>>22629890
Write something else. No point in writing what you don't know; it'll inevitably come across as unauthentic.

>>22630046
>it was actually me!
>the murder weapon is frozen water!
>why yes every piece of evidence points to the butler, BUT YOU ARE INCORRECT!
And other such annoying shit.

I also have to apologize because I'm going to write a murder mystery short story and it will shit all over yours.

>>22630069
I hope so anon, if it is better than mine, then it must be a masterpiece :)

>>22630069
Also, how are you planning it? I've been focusing on structure and when to reveal certain clues, but tonight I might just write the entire murder from the point of view of the killer because I think it will make life much easier for me. I'm currently struggling to get my outline into a cohesive state.

>>22630023
I see, put like that it does seem rather simple, thanks

>>22630066
:(

>>22630087
>Also, how are you planning it?
By dropping bunch of red herrings right at the start and a bunch of clues mixed in.
Sorry I lied, it's not a murder mystery but it follows the exact same format to a T. It'll probably shit all over most generic murder stories that follow a locked room scheme.

>>22630105
>It'll probably shit all over most generic murder stories that follow a locked room scheme.
Jokes aside I want to know why you think this now.

>>22630113
If I tell you unfortunately it will spoil the entire story. Sorry.

Though I can tell you I would be quite unapologetically ripping off Shlock Holmes. I know, big surprise, but for this type of story I need 2 main characters, big side cast and the dead guy.

Totally notHolmes gets invited by a rich oldfag to his mansion for a brief stay, notHolmes wanted to take a short vacation with his buttbuddy friend in the area the oldfag's mansion is in, so this is very convenient to him.

They arrive, BANG, a gunshot comes from a locked room upstairs. The oldfag has been shot dead! But the maids and the mansion guards and everyone else saw the guards break the room open and found it empty! A revolver has been discarded in the corner of the room. The oldfag is dead in his chair, having been shot from behind while reading his book at a fireplace.

Whodunit? Howdunit? And y?

You'd find out if I'd write this fucking thing.

>>22630034
Surely the world doesn't need more vanity projects by people with internet access

>>22630170
Just self publish a cultivation harem litRPG.

>>22622391
nta but I've been doing this for a while and all my works end up homogenizing into the same story at some point. This is good advice for when you're starting out, but it's also important to remember that the human mind enjoys novel experiences on occasion. Don't be like me and get turned off of writing because you write the same thing over and over again

>>22630155
>If I tell you unfortunately it will spoil the entire story. Sorry.
I completely understand. I wouldn't either.

>They arrive, BANG, a gunshot comes from a locked room upstairs. The oldfag has been shot dead! But the maids and the mansion guards and everyone else saw the guards break the room open and found it empty! A revolver has been discarded in the corner of the room. The oldfag is dead in his chair, having been shot from behind while reading his book at a fireplace.
I'm already asking questions and thinking about the crime scene. Why was the revolver discarded at the scene? How did he break the lock? Cool.

>Whodunit? Howdunit? And y?
>You'd find out if I'd write this fucking thing.
I want to find out.

>>22630220
I feel you on homogenization. After this one I'm going to try something completely outside of my comfort zone like a romance or comedy to try and break out of it.

Where do I even find a literary agent in the uk?

I'm at 53k words. My best estimate is that I can fill in my remaining gaps and finish the book at 75k.

Progress was Wild early on but it's been stalling a lot lately. I mean I guess that's to be expected with the semester starting back up and the seasons changing, but still, it fuckin blows.

>>22630230
>I want to find out.
Well if I do end up writing it (hopefully soon™) I'll drop by and ask if anyone wants to give it a read.

Unfortunately I'm writing an extremely time consuming thing, I have sparse free time (though days off soon!) and I should finish my other ideas first.
I don't really have a big penchant for murder/murder-mystery stories but I thought this one in particular had potential.

>>22630170
Just like the traditional publishing world

Is it feasible to get a story of 15-20k words published? I spent all of October writing one, first draft was 31k but on re-write I had to cut four chapters (so far) so it's barely 21k now and will probably drop more. Not sure if any publishing company would even pick up something so small and idk if I should even continue it.

>>22630422
Possibly but not on its own. It would have to be published in a compilation or some other form.

>>22630422
The goal shouldn't be "Get something published." The goal should be "Write a story I think is good." If it gets published, all the better.

>>22623023
Distrust issues, man fears she will divorce him and take 80% of his assets. Happens every day IRL, a very valid concern. They may be in love now but in 10 years it could change and a lot of men don't want to play that lottery.

>>22630443
You can think of those as a slam dunk and a 3 point shot. Neither is better really, it's down to how you see things.

>>22630443
I think it's decent, working on making it good, but if I'm the only one who ever reads it it might as well just live on in my mind. I want to share it and if it can pay even just half of one month's rent to make up for the time I spent on it I'll call it a success.

>>22630235
lmgtfy

>>22630422

Make it illustrated or comic book then it won't be so short at all.

You're kind of meant to hate my main character, he's a huge asshole who only cares about looking after himself.

I've been watching Jerry Jenkins on youtube for his writing tips. Any thoughts on his advice? Seems pretty solid to me though I've never read, nor will ever read, any of his books.

Read my story and give me (you)s.

>>22630712
okay

>>22630712
im waiting

>>22630715
>>22630718
I already posted it. >>22627294

>>22630652
cool. what happens in the story?

Sent my first query. Why do I feel like curling up under my bed and dying?

>>22630722
not my type of thing, I have nothing to say about it.

>>22630726

Trying to leave the city before it gets bombed I guess

>>22627294
>>22630722
I wish I could read it and give feedback but I literally have no time as I am racing against the clock and the wage cage.
I like the opening paragraph at least.

>>22627294
>>22630722
cool/nonsense idea

>>22630759
maybe you want to raise the stakes. give him some sort of goal..

>>22630790
>give him some sort of goal..
I don't think not getting bombed can be beaten by any other goal.

>>22630784

Here are the first three hundred words of my WIP. What do you think?

As she had done every Friday for the past year, Kate Goodall stared out of the office window and let her mind wander. The glass pane was coated in a thin layer of dust, along with spots of a mysterious orange substance, probably sticky to touch. When she squinted, she saw past these imperfections and could make out the Edinburgh skyline. Above a collection of grey buildings, she could make out a cloudy sky, which only let the sun out through short cracks. Beneath her, the streets were crawling with tiny humans. They walked with purpose like tiny ants: Some were heading into the numerous buildings surrounding hers, while others wandered down the street and out of view. AS she watched them, she pondered the question that had crossed her mind this morning.

Where did I go wrong?

Within the coffee-coloured walls, the office was already wide awake. The office was abuzz with computers buzzing, keyboards typing, and hasty apologies. Employees in various states of dress -from business casual to plain t-shirts- sat at identical desks, offering frantic apologies and clicking away at their keyboards. The sounds of her prison combined into a hideous cluster.

“What a pain…”

The words passed her lips without her say-so. They’d snuck out while she was sighing, then disappeared into the ether. Katie looked around her colleagues. How many of them had worked their asses off for four years at university? Who was only here so they didn’t end up on the street? She’d never know.

Kate glared at the clock and watched the little hand tick by. She had a full minute before her shift started, and here she was, feeling sorry for herself. She should have been playing that game she hadn’t finished, or maybe-

Shut up already, said a little voice in her head. You’re the one who chose this job. This is your life now.

>>22630797
you can't be serious

I can't tell if my story is boring because it's boring or if I'm just bored of reading/writing it 10 times.

>>22631036
share

>>22631043
It's not done yet. But it's about birdwatching which is inherently a niche and passive activity so I'm wondering if there's even an audience for it. There's no villains, etc.

>don't read western fantasy
>only read japanese light novels, korean and chinese web novels
>writing fantasy that isn't purely western or purely eastern
Is this a lost cause? Am I just gimping myself writing with no audience in mind? I think an experienced western fantasy reader wouldn't enjoy it, but I don't know what they do enjoy in this climate anyways. I know otaku love to read anything if it has the tropes played up hard, but I don't like to do that.

>>22631122
As long as it has an isekai hero forming a harem of cat girls it will print money.

>>22631129
Is that really still popular? It's been at least a decade.

>>22631159
This year they adapted a light novel of a guy who got reincarnated as a vending machine and a girl falls in love with him. There is no end to this ride.

>>22631122
Such things happen. "One Piece" is an example.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Piece

>>22630652
It's a bad idea. Most people, being infantile retards, self-insert as a character they read about. And people don't like to feel bad, or to be more precise to be seen as jackasses, and your text does exactly that.

>>22630652
damn, he fucking tossed a kid with palsy at the zombies?

Fucking ice cold.

>>22631210
>yea, i read ntr but i superimpose on the random black guy that comes in
yea yea.

you can have your character do all of this and still have people rooting for them. yknow, have them be likeable. it's fiction, man. and it's been done

Thoughts? I'm an outsider to this stuff.

>>22630200
I could never write such a thing. Even in elementary school when I wrote silly fantasy stories inspired by D&D sessions I still focused on funny shenanigans over power fantasy

which one sounds better, anons?

which one sounds better, anons?

>>22631771
the third one is by far the most coherent

>>22631777
checked
I thought so, thanks

>>22631446
it's alright, these lyrics or something?

>>22631122
You're writing anime. Just like thousands of other writers out there who don't read real books.

>start my story as a simple cat and mouse murder story
>completely went off the rails and turned into a religious story about a dystopian world where the devil is worshipped and Jesus is forgotten
>Murderer is now on a quest rejecting the devil and to seek out God
>Somehow have to tie every single thing together.
>have the ending in mind
>have the themes
>have the side stories
>weaving the stupidly difficult plot with catholic messaging, and our current society where people are more interested in carnal pleasures and sloth than that of hard working values
>what a mess
Maybe I should just delete it, but it seems to compel me to write, and reflect on our world today.

>>22631989
don't delete it, the good lies on the other side of difficulty

i need to write a bit before bed. could you please provide a prompt. but less than a prompt. a SEED PHRASE. i simply cant start from nothing, not right now

>>22632031
A Historical Fiction about The Cola Wars. I would love to tackle this, but I can't find any primary sources except a few clips from the History Channel.

>>22632031
The Pieta, but Jesus was killed by Jews instead of being crucified by a bunch of Romans.

>>22632044
>>22632045
thanks

>>22631989
Sounds like a good premise. God help you on tying it together though. Endure, friend.

"Prey Drive"

This darkness,
The predator to my prey
It hunts,
It'll catch me one day

It's always there,
In the corner of my eye
It's all predetermined,
So why even try?

It stalks,
It lurks,
When it strikes I wonder,
Will it hurt?

This darkness inside me,
That I hide away
So that no one knows,
So that no one can see

I know,
Some how,
Some way,
That darkness will consume me

Justified or left-aligned for YA genre fiction? Publishing in both ebook and paperback.

>>22632821
How about looking up a professional guide instead of asking people who have no fucking clue? Just a thought.

>>22632953
How about killing yourself and sparing us your impotent power plays? Just a thought.

>>22632990
Justify yourself to the sewers, you left-aligned turdhead.

>>22632821
Go to barns and Noble and look at the other books. But most are justified

I have just finished editing 5 chapters out of 40. At this rate, it will take me 7 days to edit them all. I'm making far fewer changes than I thought I would and actually enjoy reading my own text.
Is this a bad sign?

>>22633160
Are you going to find an agent?

>>22633187
No, in Binland :D:D you can just query directly to the publishing houses

>>22631771
All of them are nonsense

>>22633241
Do they accept American queries?

>>22630824
This really should be written in third limited and not omni

>>22633283
The websites are all in Finnish so I doubt it

Which one of his books is best to read so I can capture his prose, ideas, and why he's so popular and good.

IN CHAMBER low and scored by time,
Masonry old, late washed with lime—
Much like a tomb new-cut in stone;
Elbow on knee, and brow sustained
All motionless on sidelong hand,
A student sits, and broods alone.
The small deep casement sheds a ray
Which tells that in the Holy Town
It is the passing of the day—
The Vigil of Epiphany.
Beside him in the narrow cell
His luggage lies unpacked; thereon
The dust lies, and on him as well—
The dust of travel.

>>22633483
the first 2 books of the stormlight archive: the way of kings and words of radiance
good luck

>>22633521
amateurish

first page of story I want to write. Thoughts on it? Any feedback?

I'm rewriting a novel I had and combined a few ideas I had into a new structure, recycling elements from other works. This is part of the first chapter and is not at all based on my life experiences.

>>22634162
it's well written and I liked that very much. I can also read it without feeling like something is off, so it flows well.
I couldn't form an image in my head, usually very detailed is good but those details are used to form images its hard to, for example, form an image of what a creature that "stood tall compared to other creatures" or "his emaciated body stored pockets of fat onto his belly" looked like.
And although the first paragraph is very detailed I had to give it a second read to find out what exactly "Dawn was rising form the east, and the sun, white and round, cast an impression onto the pale green sky and ocean beneath the feet of the cliff" was, its very good, prose-wise, but does it deliver your intention of the scene the best? For me it doesn't paint an image in my head despite being, technically, well-written.
these are all small nitpicks, overall I liked the way you wrote the setting and the supposed birds purpose is clear to, just I think its not written well with the reader in mind.

>>22634183
>Let me back up
This is *record scratch* *freeze frame* tier. Just cut it.

>>22634162
what inspired this?

>>22634183
what's this about?

>>22634183
The story felt really relatable and real, I feel like this could hit a chord with nerdy white guys.
Although I still don't know exactly what its about, and that could be fixed. It also feels like there isn't a straight line to the storytelling, it feels more like the image posted. So try to make the point clear and try to give the structure of your story a point instead of going on tangents.
Although I will say heart is important and its clear this comes from experience

>>22631057
as long as you have fun that's all that matters
that said, lacking conflict and motivations only work at best for short stories and tend to rely heavily on everything else to pull it through
or you could just get adapt it into another medium that better suits it

>>22634201
Thank you, it's sort of supposed to be a description of things I have a conclusive image of in my head that I might take for granted when describing them. Might try to expand a bit more on the details of it.
>>22634217
The beaches and nature of Brittany and my partner's drawings and illustrations of monsters and creatures in this nature. Generally a growing interest in biology too.

>>22634183
>If I had to think back, the very first sign that my life was going to take a dramaric turn was when Mr. Steketee announced his retirement.
Mouthfull. And does he have to think back? The reader's now aware that he's going to, but does he have to? Either way, shorten it a touch.
>The first sign that my life was going to take a turn was when Mr. Steketee announced his retirement.
>I was working in Frieze Engineering, in Houston, in an older office building off of Loop 610.
>in in in
Try this.
>I was working for Frieze Engineering in Houston, they had me at an old office building off of Loop 610.
Turning your start into,
>The first sign that my life was going to take a turn was when Mr. Steketee announced his retirement. At the time I was working for Frieze Engineering in Houston, they had me at an old office building off of Loop 610.
But overall I don't like your style anon. Not a slight, but first person past tense narration hardly lands for me. Getting into a character's head should always be an exciting insight. Like other characters do and as we do others, judging people on their actions and words is how we come to understand them. It's how we perceive them. To place the reader inside a character's head is awfully intimate and, as a reader, if I'm to get inside the head of a character I'd like to sympathise with them, not witness them rant and correct their own thoughts.
>If I had to think back
>Let me back up--my name is Martin Welder. Welder for short.
Your protagonist comes across as terribly wingey and I don't know what the plot is supposed to be, some unlikable nobody moaning about work isn't a narrative. And is this seriously how you want to introduce the protagonist to the reader?

>>22631989
Make it a webnovel series & then you'll have no particular need to tie it all together any time soon.

>>22634270
I can't draw. I can barely write. The conflict is the MC's obsession causing him to lose his job and try to rebuild his relationship with his father while going on birdwatching walks. It's not high octane stuff but I figure it's relatable to birdwatchers (who are primarily old people).

how do (you) categorize your notes when writing a story? including your outline

>>22634734
Notes?

>>22634762
yes,
when going about my day, or CONSUMING other media, i will sometimes find ideas and inspiration. i'll then write them down to maybe utilize in writing

>>22634217
>what's this about?
It is an ongoing attempted major rewrite of a thriller-style story I had partially done and attempting to salvage parts of it by grafting in other works.

Specifically, this was added to flesh out the main character and not make him a talentless NEET like the old treatment had. It is very much a work in progress and could change at any time.

>try to shake up the way I write so I can improve
>have written even less than before
positive feedback loop is a real bitch

>>22634734
I use an outline editor called TreeLine. It does everything i need it to, despite being far more capable than I've used it for. It's free and open-source, too.

>>22634734
Obsidian.exe

Hi, literally my first time on this board and I have no idea how active this thread is or how good of a writer I am compared to the average writefag on this board

I'm here to ask about tips for hooking the audience in slow burn mysteries without having to go "HEY, PAY ATTENTION TO ALL THE FORSHADOWING"
A compelling premise and witty dialogue helps to get the reader on your side, but I'm fretting about boring them a serious tone they don't quite immediately buy.

>>22635101
At the end of the day, different people or even the same people at different times will enjoy different stories. Many will enjoy a slowburner just fine, as long as it is well written.
If you still want to make changes, a possible one is introducing a B plot or two going through the story, or just for the chapter. You could even start with a fast paced B plot case where the main story gets introduced during it. Alternatively, perhaps the more typical would be to have a small, but interesting case, then things get found out and the characters realize the situations is a lot more complicated than previously thought to be, but it is all part of the same overarching mystery. Then you can have multiple other small mysteries in each chapter/arc that are connecting with each other to reveal the big plot. You get the benefit of satisfying small mysteries being solved, but with new intriguing leads and question about the big mystery.
Not much of a mystery guy myself, but I believe these are good examples of what people do.

>>22635155
I suppose that was more or less the response I was expecting given no context on the plot
As of now, I just hope that attention to realism and some likeable characters are enough to have the reader respecting the premise and reading between the lines. I'll think more on the B plot idea, as even something like a running gag that turns out to be a nugget of evidence for a small mystery can be enough to give the reader a pleasant surprise. Thanks.

>>22635101
get into a rhythm of presenting strongly characterizing description
>She always scalded her tea and left the leaves in until it became as bitter as American coffee. The other wives of the neighborhood judged her for this but never once said a thing about it to her face.
it doesn't matter how many of these have nothing to do with the mystery because they also do double triple time in creating interesting characters and setting up the world that the mystery revolves around.

>>22635259
Does that kind of stuff work for non-mystery stuff? Like it adds flavor to the character but if it ends up being irrelevant wouldn't and editor tell you to cut it?

>>22635354
The important thing is that a detail should never only accomplish one thing. That detail I wrote above establishes both character and the setting of a neighborhood of prim, busybody housewives wherein, presumably, the story would take place. Here's a line that I recently cut:
>“I’m”—she stuttered, but an inherited stutter which she eventually grew out of— “I’m looking for treasure.”
I liked it at first because it's just true that kids stutter for no real reason and eventually get over it, so it deepened the feeling of her being young, but it broke up the pacing of an important exchange and didn't contribute anything beyond that so I removed it.
Although I will say that 90% of the time when I write something strongly characterizing, in retrospect I find that it also reflects on the theme or the setting or the plot. I always err on the side of adding detail and removing it later on if I deem it uneconomic.

for the last few weeks i can't get excited about any of my own ideas
what do i do?

What's the point if I'll never get noticed unless I make my writing modern politik friendly

>>22635762
noticed?

>>22622711
include more cute enby characters

>>22635762
only you can answer that

>>22630454
>Neither is better really
what

>>22631771
im pretty sure the first one is the only one that is actually grammatical
i know the second one isnt

>>22632821
well left alligned stuff will sell better in todays climate
but i think something justified, though not necessarily conservative will stand the test of time better

>>22633521
fav poem ive seen today

>>22634183
>p3l6
unless you create the feeling consistently across your text that youre writing some sort of prose-poetry, this doesnt work- and as it is in isolation like this, its gruesome

my main character's backstory is so sad, I do hope he comes out the other side on top

>>22635762
>What's the point if I'll never get noticed unless I make my writing modern politik friendly

wouldn't it make sense then to critique modern politik itself?

>>22636016
>gave his protagonist a dramatic flaw for him to reconcile over the course of the story
good
>doesn't already know exactly where his story will end
bad

>>22635711

Anyone got any tips for formatting? From what I've gathered, you only need to change page size and margins for the actual print version vs not changing anything for the digital version? Probably going to self publish through KDP

>>22636428
Remove page breaks for the digital version. That's about it

>>22636466
Word, good to know, thanks anon. I'm going to check out more articles on the subject, but they end up getting really fussed on how to set up all this bullshit that I'm not interested in, like tables of contents and all that.

>>22636528
Better get interested since your file will be automatically rejected if it doesn't follow the guidelines

With query letters is it typical practice to send a few sample pages or no?

>>22636591
No, not unless they ask.
Most agents have a policy to return unsolicited materials unread. In my experience, that includes your query.

New
>>22636941
>>22636941
>>22636941