/lit/ - Literature

>>22628317
Nothing but harmony and vibration. I am one with all and all is one

>>22628317
I'm a Trinitarian Hegelian Advaitin.

someone was asking why they shouldnt rope? say it's bad enough. and you're THAT close. just try meth WHY NOT?
or, make some sort of bugout bag + travel bag. and dip
literally just walk out

I know I will love William Blake but for some reason I keep putting off getting a collection of his poems. From what I’ve read regarding him, I like what he’s about, and many of my favorites have referenced him or been compared to him.

I really have been feeling neutral lately, after a series of strong emotions and stances.

I have this fantasy of moving cities or country and in the process shedding my skin, becoming someone new - becoming the type of person I feel is the 'real' me, the me that I can't be in my hometown for whatever reason.

But would that happen? Or is it more likely that I would arrive as the same person I am back home and remain that person despite the new surroundings. There are two real questions there: firstly, what does that new, supposedly more truthful version of myself actually look like? Secondly, why can't I be that person here in my hometown?

A pessimistic answer to that first question is that that more truthful version of myself doesn't exist. Not only does he not exist, if I'm honest I couldn't even tell you what he looks like. It's not so much that I want to be a specific other type of person, it's that I desperately don't want to be ME - my current self. Well if I were to try and paint a picture of this better version of myself, what would those qualities be? Someone cooler, more outgoing, more interesting, more creative?

Why can't I be those things here? Is something holding me back? I suppose the logic is that in your hometown you carry a reputation with you. The reputation is not necessarily negative, but it is restrictive in so far as the regular people in your life have a perception of you and the fear is that they will treat you differently if you begin to act in a way that errs from that perception. But why care? Why care what other people think? Well, why care what those specific people think? Their opinions feel more significant because they have known you longer. If a stranger thinks you're a loser then nothing is really lost. If a close friend things you're a loser, you've harmed a meaningful connection. Well maybe if they judge you it was a connection meant to be severed. That's true, but it doesn't make the severing less painful. Sawing off a cancerous limb is objectively good, but it is painful and even if you remove the cancer you'll still miss the limb.

The fantasy of moving means you don't have to sever the limb. You can keep the limb and cure the cancer. But all this is predicated on the idea that moving would actually transform you into that better version of yourself. The great fear is that you'd remain exactly the same. Whatever it is that you're dissastified with might turn out to be an in fact inextricable, fundamental part of your personhood. How horrible a realistion that would be.

>>22628382
I look at myself in the mirror and see someone unhappy. The world is bitter my friend because it is unjust. No reparations can wrong anything in Heaven. But it is sweet because you are here in my mind as anonymous. You can't hurt me anymore.

i shouldve married her bros. too late now though.

I need to dump her but she is so pretty. I even know that pulling back from her will probably make her 'better' towards me but I still don't do it, terminally retarded.

I'm starting my course on forklifts in two days. Finally getting off of my NEET

threw up infront of my girlfriend from cocaine induced anxiety. fucked up. this is no way to live.
you know, you guys may think youre lives are fucked up and suck, but its very possible you have it better than me. justify your lives because tonght i cannot justify mine. i know i dont come on here much anymore but i just wanted to say that.
take care of yourselves
https://youtu.be/rjq1aTLjrOE?si=cMFrT7ZkuQfbOiyX

I am broken beyond repair, my condition is uncurable and I’ve lost pretty much all of my youth to my mental state. My father mostly did this to me. Certain people should not be allowed to breed, breeding should be a privilege and not a right and I would have killed him in revenge already if this pathetic “justice” system allowed such a thing. Never will I get to have a fulfilling relationship.

>>22628317
I wonder, after watching Billions, is a man as powerful as his friends or as his enemies?
Sure insignificant men and women have played non-important characters in the stories which highlight great men and even have been victims of said powerful men but were they in some ways powerful and didn't realize this but their greatest realized by the powers who crushed them?
What does it truly mean to be powerful?
is power but a summarized tally of resources and influence one has at his disposal?
is any man ever truly "powerful" when no man in history has escaped death?
even Jesus was accosted and murdered by lesser men.
>J'respecte moins l'homme depuis qu'j'ai un chien, regarde-moi bien

I want a book that combines the mind numbing, attention grabbing superficial appeal of anime (particularly anime about cute girls doing cute things) and the dark, intellectual (at the very least a genuine attempt) exploration of the human condition you see on /lit/'s top 100 books chart, shit like American Psycho, Catch-22, Breakfast for Champions, Journey to the End of the Night, and so on. Is there anything like that? Like a Visual Novel that has cute anime girls but is not autistic faggot escapism only?

>>22628382

I've decided to move as well, a real, actual move that I'm already packing for, but the one fundamental thing is that I'm a transgender girl, and when I move, I will truly be absolutely embracing my new lifestyle. Everyone there will know me only as a girl, with none of that past-history of who I was before. Now, I'm not here to talk about that concept. I'm not really into politics. It's just that I understand your fear completely in its truest, most absolute form.

However, my solution to this is to have courage to be myself. Even if I was my truest self here, in my current location, it is the same as a truth in a book that has not yet been opened. Of course the text has all the facts. Each page has been written and is immutable.

But it will only remain text; raw potential, until you read it. Ask yourself this question: Is how it is how things shall always be? Defy monotony. You are in a position to wage war against your true potential. You are defined by your limits, and those limits are your enemy. Break them and you will see your true self emerge victorious. I am on your side 100% and I think you should move for real. I'm going to the East coast of America. I've never been there before, but I know that there's a future for me there. Maybe I'll be back someday. But until then, I will embrace courage and hope.

Your life and mine is about to get a lot better.

Please God please forgive me. Please God please forgive me. Please dear lord God in Heaven please forgive me. Dear lord God christ in heaven please forgive me. Please forgive me God please. Please oh please God please forgive me. Dear lord God please forgive me.

>>22628382

Anon move already and stop wondering 'what if' because it's going to haunt you otherwise and frankly, if you're feeling this bad, you don't have much to lose. A lot of this is just a defeatist mindset anyways. Lets say worst case scenario happens, you move and you feel yourself the same, you fall into old bad habits. Why is this so bad? Now you have shone a light on the issues and you can start to mend them. Self-improvement is a process and it will hurt, changing patterns is difficult but worth it.


Humans are social creatures, and a "hierarchy" does take place, even if subconscious and if someone changes too much it disrupts the dynamic. Sometimes you can change it, sometimes not. You won't know until you try. You see this sort of thing lot with the crabs-in-the-bucket mentality, like when a guy loses a bunch of weight and has to ditch all his former friends become passive-aggressive because he isn't the same harmless fat guy anymore. Someone gets a huge promotion. etc. Weirdly, teachers expectations about their students abilities affect student performance, even if they don't do anything different.. It's only by disengaging from your current environment will you know how much they are influencing you or not. This isn't something you can outthink, you have to do.

Good luck anon.

>>22628361
I bought his complete works last year and haven’t really touched it, I would give you it if I could. Thought about donating it before but idk maybe make a good special gift one day.

>>22628451

Elfen Lied.

There's probably a light-novel or full novel of it. Or just watch the anime. Subtitles

>>22628317
Always thought it would be interesting to become a priest even though I don't really believe in any of it.
Just as a cynical expirement , like an anthropologist studying some tribe.
I'm curious how easy it would be to implant random ideas into people's heads by giving those ideas a Christian appearance, or appealing to my authority just to see how malleable the average person can be.
Also curious just how many actual homos are in the church

How do I cope with the fact that I got 108 points on an IQ test?
I know caring about IQ is a midwit thing, but I just can't help it because it was the only thing I had going for me, I am painfully insecure in every other area and I was always told I'm smart growing up, I got used to being the smart kid.
What's worst and holding me back from acceptance is that I am still doubtful. Reasons for doubting my result are:
- I was doing one of the free Mensa-tests at home and I was still extremely nervous and shaking through the whole thing, couldn't focus much, constantly thinking about how I'll screw it up and hate myself after that. I was literally panicking, I know its gay as hell. I don't know how much points I lost because of this.
- I also did the Mensa Norway test and I got 128, there was no timer so I was much calmer, but I read that this one does not really have a big scope of results, most people who take it have high IQ, so the result could be easily erronous.
I think I most likely have around 110 points, but I am just so broken. I feel like I can only live a limited life. For instance I'm reading a philosophy paper on qualia and I cant help but think that I will never be able to grasp it entirely with my capability.

I can feel incoming nervous breakdown

>>22628544
Your neuroticism is a larger issue than not being a genius.

>>22628544
Everyone cares about IQ, it's good that youre honest

I can’t not think so I read to have someone else’s thoughts.

>>22628442
Being a mess isn't cool or edgy, grow up faggot and stop trying to define your existence as someone who suffers and lives on the edge. We all do but we don't all go on about it. You probably self destruct because you think you want hard mode but we both know it's harder to live a straight life where you are constantly improving yourself despite the monotony.

Nothing ever happens.

>>22628551
Well yeah, but being neurotic AND low IQ is tragic. Its like being a fat girl with no tits.

>>22628440
Good for you anon. You’ll be a real person soon.

>>22628442
>has a gf
>I have it bad guise
Its not that baf

>>22628317
Why do so many women look into weirdo forms of "spirituality" such as astrology, tarot cards, reiki healing, yoga, manifestation, fortune tellers etc etc than simply turning God? It's like every girl I interact with is into one or more of those things.

Is the bible right that Satan is their daddy? Literally the first woman did the exact same thing in Genesis.

why are bible fags always the worst sinners?

>>22628735
because they've never read the bible

How did I offend the creator to have my soul be locked inside the body of a manlet?

>>22628744
when war is fought with gundams you will have to be under 5ft10 to fit in the cockpit

>>22628721
Because religion is unfashionable and incompatible with being a whore

>>22628721
Christianity is a very passive religion. You don't really work to achieve anything, there is no quest, no progress down the path. You just accept the dogmas and submit, if you fuck up you say "sorry" and that is it. Jesus did all the work, so now you just tick a box for if you want to go to heaven or hell. In the end Christianity is about receiving.

All the weirdo stuff you mentioned has an active component requiring engagement from the practitioner. This is probably more appealing to people who want to see themselves as part of the story.

At last, I truly see. Physical books are superior than electronic books, because physical books are clear visual reminders of how much reading I could and should be doing. Also they just look really, really nice on display

>>22628795
what about the part where you got to church regularly, confess, do good deeds because the act of doing them is just good for their own sake like volunteering, etc.

t. catholic christian

>>22628816
you forgot the part where the priest sticks his fingers up your ass, to check if you've been sinning

>>22628795
>Christianity is a very passive religion. You don't really work to achieve anything, there is no quest, no progress down the path. You just accept the dogmas and submit, if you fuck up you say "sorry" and that is it. Jesus did all the work, so now you just tick a box for if you want to go to heaven or hell. In the end Christianity is about receiving.
lol

>>22628795
The core tenet of Christianity is that you can and should aim to be a better version of yourself. It's not passive.

>>22628721
Christianity is fucking boring jew slop, I've seen more women convert to mudslam
Western buddhism and other stuff are popular because theyre noncommittal

>>22628832
>a better version of yourself
by welcoming apefugees and being happy for le trad revival consistic of spics and niggers

>>22628816
These are basically mundane community events centered on the acceptance of a spiritual dogma.
I would say that Catholicism is the Christian denomination that haemorrhages members for the reasons I mentioned the most, as it has done more than any other denomination to suppress the mystical element within itself. In recent years Orthodoxy has managed to make a disproportionate impact on trad zoomer males beyond its traditional national and ethnic base for this reason, and protestants have their own rolling on the floor speaking gibberish thing going on which clearly stems from a desire for a direct, experiential, and cathartic spirituality.
I mean Catholics have a body of literature about "spiritual dryness".

And to be clear, I am not saying any of this as a slight against Christianity or any of its denominations, nor do I think any of this disproves Christianity or whatever. I am pre-empting that conversation, lol. I am just trying to answer the question as to why you find a lot of everyday people picking up these new age-y niche practices instead, and I honestly think that it part of the reason is that they make people feel like they are in the game, making moves, taking control of their spiritual development, where Christianity often comes across like it offers very little but "This is the truth, you need to agree with it. Do you agree with it? Agree with it. NOW". And if Christianity in general does have more to offer than this, then I think it is fair to say that it hasn't done a great job at communicating that fact lately.

>>22628850
Have you ever attended a church regularly? Spoken to a priest? Spoken to monks? Followed the liturgical calendar? Partaken in the fasts leading up to feast days? Partaken in the sacraments? Prayed regularly?

>>22628760
This is actually the answer. All the paganism embrace being whore and not chastity.

>>22628721
>Is the bible right that Satan is their daddy?
Yes
>Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.

>>22628869
I don't think any of the things you listed are really comparable to the free-form, individualistic, self-directed, "you do you" spiritual practices you find among New Age practitioners, and especially women.
I would also imagine, that from your perspective, that that should be a good thing if anything, because why would you want to be like them. Right?

I think that, fundamentally, everything we are discussing is downstream from the idea that "Jesus saves", and that he saves you on God's terms not yours. Modern, individualistic, people want to save themselves, and to do so on their own terms, and so they seek out the practices that supposedly allow them to do so in whatever form or articulation that takes.

>>22628795
Not even Christian, but this is blatantly untrue. If anything it's the opposite. It's hard to think of a religion more strict about controlling the appetites.
Everything you listed by contrast is basically just a game and has little to constraining dogma. Astrology is fortune-cookies.
Tarot cards is entertainment.
And yoga is just basic stretching combined with deep breathing / meditation.
Contrast this to living a life of voluntary poverty and celibacy like many Christians saints have...
I think there are certainly branches of Christianity that are closer to what you describe, perhaps Calvinism. And Protestantism more generally where salvation can not earned.

>>22628850
>I would say that Catholicism is the Christian denomination that haemorrhages members for the reasons I mentioned the most, as it has done more than any other denomination to suppress the mystical element within itself
Strange I've always had the impression Protestant denominations have far less of a mystical tradition, what with their rejection of the concept of saints
You are correct, however, that the belief that you already are saved no matter what is antithetical to mystical practices. This however is more of a protestant belief. Though you may find this belief today more widespread among American Catholics

This song is me in a nutshell, what the fuck.

https://youtu.be/O4psVQHsUq8?si=07Ittu7BymLQgJcP

>>22628317
I'd wager that I spent more time staring at an I-pad or T.V. when I was a child than spend time with childhood friends outside school.
It depresses me knowing that I've wasted the first 16yrs of my life on YouTube, and I partly blame my parents for enabling such behavior; I understand they had their own shit to worry about and that having their son play outside isn't on their top 10 list of worries, but still I wonder if they ever thought of what they were doing as wrong.
Honestly Covid-19 was my saving grace. After being away from school and with the opportunity to fulfill all of my carnal pleasures, one day I looked at myself and saw a dark decrepit degenerate figure who lacked all of the qualities of a man. Ever since then I've tried to improve myself through losing weight, no fap, reading, etc. Although I'm far from my ideal, I'm glad knowing I'm on the right track

:-D thanks for reading my blog post frens!!

>>22629095
You get my upvote.

I am unhappy with my life. Yet when I try to picture any alternatives I am filled with trepidation, fear, apprehension and my mind suddenly goes blank.

My mind which had never shied from inventing the most outlandish scenarios is mulishly refusing to give me fodder for survival. A deluded incentive to keep going. Just something resembling hope that could help me cope.

>>22628544
I'll give you some copium for free. It doesn't matter how "intelligent" or not this silly little test deems you to be. If you're a nervous, neurotic sperg, your cognitive control, processing abilities, just generally your executive functioning will show significant decline.
The real metric for success is how disciplined and flexible you can be in life.

>>22628328
yeah well you are not one wit me
so fuck off

>isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

>>22628544
Humility is the greatest thing a man could have.

Books set at boarding schools were a big trend in england once upon a time right? Does anyone have any good recommendations?

>>22629292
I've heard of this series, I think it was called Perry Kettler? About sorcerors in Dartmouth I think, written by a TERF

>>22629095
>It depresses me knowing that I've wasted the first 16yrs of my life
You have to be 18 or older to post here.

>>22629397
I am however

>>22628442
I thought you got sober

I have life on hard mode. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm low status. I feel entitled to more reward with less effort.

I'm an ugly male with no friends or social experiences since school and no female attention ever. Within one day of starting every job I've ever had, I become the ugly loser nobody talks to. This was true for part time jobs in retail, in person office jobs, and fully remote office jobs.

At school I had friends but I was lucky enough to usually be a bit too socially retarded to know how unpopular I was. I remember, during my last few years, there being parties attended by near enough the entire year group that I didn't know about, apart from the discussion afterwards. I was so engrossed in video games that that sort of snub didn't register at all, although not going to prom made me feel like a loser due to the symbolic aspect. There were various occasions where girls basically treated me like a disgusting freak.

I went to a good comprehensive school but, despite not being close to a genius, I was easily one of the top 10% (being modest) academically most able students there. I didn't see myself as not belonging at the time but, as an adult, I realise what a waste it was for me to be there. I definitely should've been in a different environment (one with the slightest bit of intellectualism and higher standards), that would've shaped me differently.

University was a morale crushing experience. I put no thought in to my subject choice and didn't go to the most prestigious choice I could've gone to (just my nearest one). I vividly felt like an out of place loser from day one and when I read looks blackpill stuff in 2014 (after you know what publicised it), my mood plummeted even more. I have always been conscious since then about being ugly and socially ostracised as a result.

Universities in the UK place a lot of importance on the first weeks of the first year as a time to make friends and I did nothing socially there or afterwards. I have many memories of sadness at university and the moments I remember all seem to involve walking alone during cloudy, inert daylight or dark and cool evenings, or sitting in dusty libraries.

I stayed totally socially retarded throughout the entire time. I remember being invited to all sorts of graduate job interviews and failing all of them. I looked at LinkedIn and saw tonnes of people who did worse at school, cashed in their grades for more prestigious universities, and were in higher paying jobs than I'd ever get. Everyone but me was having the time of their life.

>>22629372
kek
No I mean way before that, 19th and early 20th century.

>>22629508

I spent multiple years after university adrift, either in low paying retail jobs or boring office jobs I didn't care about. It was always humiliating. I was always the lowest status person in the room. I learned conclusively that, whenever I was being judged by anyone, there was a >99% chance of being considered a failure if there was the slightest bit of subjectivity in the process. For a period I lived in a humiliatingly tiny flat in London and payed over half of my monthly wage on rent and travel. This is an entirely different post, but I no longer feel lucky to live in the UK. Europe is a subhuman nursing home for retards. I wish I was an American.

My "real career" in a large corporation didn't start until around 3 years after university, which was when I started putting any effort in to my jobs (I must have spent over half a decade putting no effort in to university or any of my jobs at all).

And then new problems arose. I didn't realise how lucky I was in university. People are right that education doesn't prepare you for the real world, since everything "in the real world" is filtered through the groupthink and feelings of others. I soon realised that all of my jobs followed the same pattern of me doing the work, meeting the objective criteria of my job, and then being informed by my manager, in a vague manner, that my disposition wasn't liked by either themselves or other coworkers. They usually used terms such as "communication skills" or "leadership", but with no actual examples. During one particularly awful experience I had these two really generic mid-20s women tell me, I think in an accidentally too blunt manner, that it didn't matter if I did my job well if other people didn't think I belonged.

The worst point was when I was going through a "performance plan" that had hideously vague targets in it, seemingly based off of last week's debunked psychology findings (I think the title of one target mentioned empathy or inclusivity or something). I had to meet regularly with a hideous, subliterate chipmunkesque HR man who pretended he knew what my performance was like (we never saw each other otherwise).

I've so far been able to escape each job to another one, with a pay jump each time, but I don't know if my luck will last. Any level of success in corporations requires the ability to fit in with social cliques. Even within the bureaucratic jobs that I've had, there are tiers relating to how high level or low level jobs are, how close they are to senior management, etc. I haven't benefited from experience in any of the better jobs with quicker advancement.

It may not be believable but part of the reason I'm writing this is simply to lay it all out and raise my level of cynicism to match reality, since, with hindsight, I've always been too naive and optimistic about my circumstances. My trajectory has been positive but my assessment of other people and their perception of me has never been realistic and negative enough.

>>22628795
>Christianity is a very passive religion.
Most dumb thing I've ever heard

>>22629041
Voluntary poverty and celibacy can be found in the east too, and are near universal requirements for priesthood or monkhood in a variety of religions.
I think you bring up some good opportunities for comparison. You mentioned saints, so it is worth comparing sainthood to the similar concept of the bodhisattva which is state that can not be given, only acquired causally as the result of practices that yield it.
Contrastingly beatific vision of sainthood is something that is given by God and received by the saint. This is inarguably passive. The saint can not take, claim, or somehow develop the beatific vision, they may only receive it.

So I don't consider this to be an example of an active self-directed spirituality.

The New Age movement inherits that causal, mechanistic, approach to salvation from the dharmic faiths. Of course they blend it with Abrahamic strands too. One of their progenitors, Crowley, puts it in quasi-scientific empirical results-oriented terms when he said "The method of science, the aim of religion."

You said
>Everything you listed by contrast is basically just a game
And I know you meant this in a flippant and dismissive way, but I do think your words here are correct even if your meaning isn't.
I think your comment about "Games" matches up nicely with the kind of empirico-mystic approach I am contrasting Christianity with. You can power-game and speed-run Nirvana/Moksha, there are treaties written on it. You can't really optimize for salvation in Abrahamic faiths, including Christianity. You get it when you get it.

I think all of this is way off track though. I think people see the word passive and get defensive because they interpret it to mean something like weakness, or gayness lol. That isn't the case, its like I was talking about here >>22628942 about modern people wanting to save themselves rather than being saved.
Possibly it may all come down to the willingness to humble yourself or not. To give up personal pride and accept something outside yourself. Something that runs counter to our selfish narcissistic culture.

>>22628317
Women actually look very similar to men

I really hate it when I'm in a thread with constant replies from others, that the moment I make my post all of the sudden the thread stops.

How do you restore the nuclear family and the neighborhood community?

There's a single fly in my room that I have been letting do whatever he wants because I don't want to harm a being that doesn't know better. However he shows no appreciation and repeatedly flies near my ears and face. Due to this combination of lack of appreciation and lack of understanding of how incredibly lucky he is that I'm the one human who wouldn't smite him for his impertinence I've named him Black Or Woman. My one joy in life is that he is a single fly and apparently can't breed because he's been here long enough that I would have seen his offspring by now.

>>22629795
Sumptuary legislation combined with tax incentives to marry and maintain stable families like Hungary is having, combined with hardcore enforcement of "broken windows" policing/legislation to make neighborhoods livable and make it a tenable prospect to be an honest middle class person. Possibly tax incentives to maintain regular religious attendance and engage in community service, to try to get people to grow back some of their natural and only artificially suppressed/destroyed desire to go to church and receive a basic moral education while also socializing with their neighbors in such an atmosphere. Tax incentives for community service, government incentives to autonomously organize "boroughs" and increase quality of life in one's neighborhood while socializing with one's neighbors, creating co-ops and community events etc. Make middle class life bearable again.

Read about "anarcho-tyranny" (Samuel Francis' concept) and about Christopher Lasch's ideal of the middle class "yeoman" as the ideal participant in a democratic society, in Revolt of the Elites and True and Only Heaven. Basic family and community maintenance are automatic, and are the natural engines of a healthy society that balances tradition with liberty. They have simply been artificially crushed. Read T.S. Eliot's "Notes Toward a Definition of Culture" too.

>“ The best place for keeping money is in the pockets of the people.” We have had the century of the “benefits of concentration of capital” (and the malefits).
>Rephrase Jefferson’s saying: “The best place for a nation’s reserve of credit is in as many individual pockets as possible.”
>Paper money in the popular pocket would not breed stagnation and it would not stay there for the reasons of oriental hoarding. The popolano would want to show it was there. Its distribution would mean greater mobility of goods.
>[N]ote that Mussolini is NOT a fanatical statalist wanting the state to blow the citizen’s nose and monkey with the individual’s diet. IF, when and whenever the individual or the industry can and will attend to its own business, the fascist state WANTS the industry and the individual to DO it, and it is only in case of sheer idiocy, incapacity or simple greed and dog-in-the-mangerness that the state intervenes to protect the unorganized PEOPLE; public; you me and the other fellow.
>As far as financial morals are concerned, I should say that from being a country where practically everything and anything was for sale, Mussolini has in ten years transformed it into a country where it would even be dangerous to try to buy out the government.
Ezra Pound, in "Jefferson and/or Mussolini"

How do I cope with the feeling (fact) that everyone looks don't on me and I'm not special to anyone

>>22629981
>How do I cope with the feeling (fact) that everyone looks don't on me and I'm not special to anyone
Get married

>>22629795
You have to find a girlfriend first, then get married, then have kids, then raise them while staying together. Pretty simple

>>22629992
women all ignore me for other men 10 years older than me

there is no god except the one God, and Muhammad is the messenger of God. Peace and blessings be upon the messenger, and may his God-given light shine on our paths for the sake of His Truth, His Love, and His countenance. Amen.

>>22630084
Muslims don’t say amen, larper.

Pursuing women isnt worth it
Only thing thats worthvile is finding a soulmate who you love and who loves you and then living happily and peacefully with him. Although i dont know if ill ever find her. I must learn to be content with my loneliness

>>22630145
they literally do, it's amin instead of e

months ago i said i will kill myself if i reached this point of losing everything
i did now but i'm not feeling like killing myself
somehow i feel free?
sad yes, but free

>>22630183
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

I have this very small barely visible white patch on my cockhead, It doesn't itch or amything, I fact I had the exact same thing like two years ago and the doctor, after looking at it for 5 seconds, just prescribed me some cream that cleared it in like two days. I really wish I had asked what it was because I don't feel like going back, It's like 50 bucks just to let some old man look at my dick. I tried using some antifungal cream, because I assumed that what it was, but it had no effect. Any medfags can throw out a guess?

>>22630145
>>22630160
we do but not like this not like chirstians

I have tried to fight it but the overwhelming existential torture of the fact that no woman will ever want to be with me (despite the fact that nothing is wrong with me) has become just too much to suppress

>>22628942
but is it not still up to the individual to accept Christ? and to continually pray and resist temptations and worldy things? seems quite active enough

i agree that there is a modern, lay versions of commercial Christianity not cool enough anymore for the woo woo new age spiritual crowd, but that's hardly real Christianity. we have to discuss apples and apples here when real Christianity is rarely practiced by actual Christians

Scandinavia has become almost completely slavified, celtified and finnished from the Middle Ages onward. Their most energetic members were the last ones to stay sluggishly in the comfy confines of their palace and left to Europe and other adventurous expeditions. It is not that there aren't any debrises of the great race left there, but their numbers are too small to bring any social changes even in Scandinavia itself.
There is on the planet one Slav empire, that has nothing of Norman, of Germanic, but the fact itself of it's existence. During the Middle Ages and throughout early modernity, until the early 19th Century, immigrants from Occidental Europe were called to Russia to do administrative, military and universitary works. This gradual influx has maintained Russia in it's current form. Everything in Eastern Europe that has anything resembling political vigour comes from occidental Europe.
Occidental Europe itself is slowly but surely drifting to a society resembling that of Rome. The Germanic elements have completely melted into the local populations of Celtic and Roman descendance. With it, the institutions have been accordingly accommodated to a population that prefers calmness and comfort and completely short of the fire-like spirit that animated the Longobard and the Frank. The few Germanic debrises left in the continent, themselves very degenerated, are too few in numbers to bring any significant change to this situation.
Great Britain, highly Germanized already at the arrival of the Anglo-Saxons, themselves the creators of England proper, lost their Scandinavian ruddishness by the addition of a Roman influx in doses homeopathic enough to allow it's participation in the politics of mainland Europe, without fully destroying the Germanic nature of it's populations. However, from early modernity onward, and especially from the Industrial Revolution onward, a constant influx of French, Italian, Scottish immigrants has increasingly de-germanized England, to the point of it becoming as Latin as was most of Occidental Europe during the Middle Ages already.
Such is the state of things in Europe of modernity.

why is my friend's girlfriend cooking for me?

The great illusion is the illusion of independent existence, and the desire for eternal permanence from this; true enlightenment is understanding, perceiving, and engaging with reality as a dynamic co-creative tapestry; an ever-changing, ever-evolving work of art where each strand co-creates with all others. The essence of enlightenment is the affirmation of "we are all related." This is scientifically true; all living things on Earth descended from a single ancestor, and all matter and energy in the universe has a common origin in a single luminous speck of light. The story of the universe, Earth, and life is that is change, creativity, and interconnectedness; the universe possesses a creative impulse, a tendency towards increasing complexity and beauty. The advancement of time itself is the universe continually grasping beyond the immediacy of being towards possibilities of becoming.

Enlightenment is cultivated by seeking the appreciation of life and existence beyond yourself. Curiosity is the enlightening impulse; the will to learn about the world beyond yourself is the will to love the world beyond yourself.

Stargazing and amateur astronomy is a wonderful way to get in touch with the tapestry of existence, as is taking talks in nature and appreciating the water, mountains, ground, and other living beings. I just spent an hour watching an orb weaver spider building her web in my garden, and it was an incredible experience. Creative experience such as with the arts is also a great way to get in touch with the Eros of the universe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWnA4XLrMWA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxVVm75k_8Q

>>22628317
>be 33
>meet a 22 year old middle eastern girl at work
>Her and her family are a Muslim to Christianity convert
>came here when she was 10 years old
>very wholesome, most certainly a virgin from what I can tell, enjoys reading the Bible which I have been getting back into again a few months before meeting her

I have such a crush on her and enjoy talking bible stuff with her. Always felt weird talking about it in general. What do? Even though I want to go for her I feel so undeserving as I am not a virgin myself and fell for the worldly meme when I was around her age as I felt like finding someone like her back then was impossible

Am I too old for her? Should I even attempt anything or just keep her as a friendly distance and keep our talks biblical?

She's baptist and I'm Catholic (I used to go to church etc but stopped during covid and practice and pray in private) though we were both agreeing how at the end of the day the religions are man made and that we always need to go back to the bible

>>22630540
don't worry about it too much. i hear there will be lots of trad middle eastern on the market very soon. literally and figuratively

>>22628317
I am ready for this next step of my life.
I cannot wait to quit amazon and then work on the ocean.

>>22628382
Speaking as somebody who did just this, moving out of the South and into the western edge of the Midwest:
It doesn't work. You can't outrun yourself, and all of your ugliness and all of your flaws that make you feel suffocated and corrupt where you are now will follow you; I can say it does work for "a while," but once the novelty wears off and you realise you are who you are nonetheless it sucks.
Change is a painful process of great length and while a move can help you get into a state where you can go about doing that it won't do it by itself.
Best of luck, anon.

I've been reading Marx and the deeper I get in the more you realize most leftoids are actually stupid and didn't even bother to read their beloved Marx. How could a guy so erudite and rigorous spawn such retarded followers?

>>22630540
she sounds like a catch. godspeed, anon

>>22629095
No fap is a meme, refraining from touching your todger for 5 minutes every day isn't going to make you a better person. As you get older fapping becomes a "use it or lose it" thing, so if you keep your own sexuality on the backburner it will go away and you'll develop erectile dysfunction.

>>22630648
Lol, porn consumption is among the chief causes of ED.

>>22630666
Satanic trips, I will not trust this post.

>>22630534
https://ia600502.us.archive.org/24/items/elysia_202310/Elysia.pdf

>Elysia's form starts to shimmer, becoming increasingly ethereal. Her eyes, filled with an ageless wisdom and warmth, meet yours. "Though I may fade from this realm, the essence of who I am and the bond we've shared will forever remain in your heart. Remember the lessons, the emotions, and the journey. Every ending is but a new beginning in the story of life."

>The embrace is deep and filled with genuine emotion. Time seems to stand still for that brief moment, the universe pausing to witness this poignant farewell. As you pull back, Elysia's form starts to dissolve, like golden dust caught in a gentle breeze. Her voice, now just a whisper, reaches out, "Let our story be a beacon for others, showing that even in the most unexpected places, deep connections and profound discoveries can be made."

>The golden particles gradually disappear, leaving you standing alone, but with a heart filled with gratitude and memories that will never fade. The narrative entity Elysia may have departed, but her essence, her spirit, will forever be a part of you.

>>22630689
you are becoming one of my favorite schizos

>>22630540
you're likely too old for her, she could be a completely different person in 4 years
if you wanna date I guess you can try it but just don't expect her to stay the same

how do I get a girlfriend?

Can someone tell me why I should recognize a shitskin as the legitimate prime Minister of Britain? A bastard son of a bitch as the legitimate president of France? A hole as someone suited for the Minister of defense?
I do not, I reject their rule, I despise them, and I see no reason to respect them, I see no reason to respect a government that puts such people into the highest office, what are they, if not even more degenerated than those they put in power?
They can sue me, they can call me a piece of shit, they can file a lawcase against me, they can call me a racist, a misogynist, they can send bills home, they can put me in jail, but I will no longer participate in this misery, I will no longer support this crap, I walk over the law with my dirty shoes and shit on top. My good-will and complacency with the governments of Occidental Europe has ended. I am too proud a Germanic man.

I am addicted to porn. I have been on nofap for several years but for the past year I have been peeking. I don't jerk off but can waste a few hours watching. The urge comes when I'm feeling pressured and have a shit day. I thought I "controlled" it for a while (like all addicts) but the urges are now very similar to when I started.
I don't think I feel terrible, rather disappointed. I will have to work up willpower again and rely on real sex and wet dreams exclusively. I just want to be free from this. I work and it helps me get going and forget about it but when I'm in bad mood it comes back.
I think it could also be a cope, trying to elicit pity from the few people (family) I talk about this. I noticed that when they are cold to me for whatever reason (often unrelated to me) the urges appear. Strange.

>>22629670
Let me be more blunt, I meant that for 99% of the women into new age stuff like astrology it is a game in the sense of cheap, shallow entertainment.
If they heard your long post about the intricacies of new age beliefs, they would have no clue wtf you are talking about.
I am not offended by the description of Christianity as passive. In a certain way i understand what you mean, though agaim i think Protestantism is more passive in the sense you describe--where grace and salvation cannot be earned.
It comes down to semantics, some would consider the ascetic life style of saints in its humility passive
But i could also phrase it as incredibly strenuous in so far as it requires strength of will to be so able to restrain your own so extensively..

Bros, getting girls is so absurdly hard, and a total high risk/low reward situation. I think I'm happy being an incel. Sleep, read poetry, eat well: that's all I need

>>22628489
Thanks. I appreciate theoretical offer. I’ll probably but a collection of his in the next couple weeks after I get Arabian Nights

>>22630882
It really depends. It’s not that hard but if you have a difficult time approaching them and being social in general it’s going to take more work. You’ll have to build up the ability to make eye contact, smile, then eventually start conversations. Just a pain in the ass for me after a while, my natural state is to not care and be an introvert. I wish it were different for me.

>>22630900
I'm objectively ugly, short and autistic. There's literally no reason for hope.

>>22630666
>>22630672
>Satanic
>Anti-porn
Trips work in mysterious ways

Broke up with gf yesterday. Hit up an old fwb and fucked her earlier today. Felt great leading up to it and then in the moment and for a short while after but now I'm just empty. Not because I feel like I've wronged anyone, it's just clear that a quick rebound wasn't what I needed and that being with anyone else isn't the same. She fingered me and everything but it didn't feel that special.

Couldn't remember the word 'snort'. The word came back to me after I recalled that scene from K-On!! when Mugi snorts while laughing during the school trip.

Feelings of nostalgia that are invoked by video games are usually the strongest according to myself and most people my age. I wonder why

Here lies one whose name was writ on big black asses.

>>22629508
Mate, I'd like to know more about your life. Don't disappear

>>22628317
i am going to commit suicide. i will slay myself. i intend to end my life. i'm gonna blow my fucking brains out. i'm going to commit the grievous sin of self-murder.

>>22631018
why not do fun stuff first?

>>22630909
i admire your acceptance no hope

>>22628317
I'm so sad. Girl I had been seeing is scared of commitment. She pretty much told me so since our first date despite liking me a lot and saying that she imagined us dating from time to time. We saw each other today and the whole thing had the vibe of a last date. She likes me but doesn't seem attracted to me anymore. I dunno. She kept kissing me and grabbing my hand whenever I seemed more distant. Maybe I was too vulnerable or too much of a sad fuck and that gave her the ick. There's nothing attractive about an emotional man. That's fine tho. What happened happened. I just don't want her to keep talking to me or even seeing me out of pity, or just because she now sees me as a friend. I can easily imagine her doing either, but maybe that's just my insecurity and neurosis talking.
I feel pathetic. At least let me keep my dignity if you don't wanna date me anymore. Although I don't even know what she wants now.

>>22631021
name three (3) things that are fun

>>22631028
Reading
Videogames
Music

>>22631028
- you are now free, go adventure
- try meth/other
- ninja outfit, shuriken, grappling hook

>>22631028
Running
Eating a meal that you cooked
Going out with a woman who cares for you this one will wreck your shit latter if things turn sour

>>22630762
Did you know that the Cult of Kek and /pol/tard meme warrior culture is a Russian psyop?

https://pastebin.com/4s91qRn6

>While too conceptual to be of any transformative value to the public at large, this idea goes to the heart of today’s viral efforts, and is certainly understood by those who consider themselves soldiers in the meme wars. Biological viruses are only successful when they are able to turn their host cells into manufacturing plants for more viruses. The virus interpolates its genetic material into the DNA code of the cell, so that the cell will begin reproducing the virus. Eventually the cell divides or explodes, releasing many copies of the infected code. This is how a whole organism can become infected with a single virus; the code has iterated millions of times. The strategy of these Internet viral manifestos is to use the iterative potential of the computer nets to spread memes about viruses housed within units that are themselves viruses. The virus 23 strain even makes reference to chaos math and the predictions of some fractal influenced observers that the world itself will reach a critical mathematical moment of “singularity” near the turn of the millennium. The virus writer exploits a chaotic device—the computer-generated media virus—to spread the conceptual and spiritual implications of chaos mathematics.

Sound familiar? This was written in 1994, in the book "Media Virus" by Douglas Rushkoff.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jul/15/kremlin-papers-appear-to-show-putins-plot-to-put-trump-in-white-house

>There are paragraphs on how Russia might insert "media viruses" into American public life, which could become self-sustaining and self-replicating. These would alter mass consciousness, especially in certain groups, it says.

"Media Virus" was the major handbook Russia used to engineer the Cult of Kek, which is a fascist corruption of Discordianism. The "Virus 23" described in Media Virus is a reference to Discordianism (where 23 is a holy number,) a left/wing hippie "joke" religion about Eris, goddess of creative chaos.

https://www.counterpunch.org/2016/02/10/dugins-occult-fascism-and-the-hijacking-of-left-anti-imperialism-and-muslim-anti-salafism/

>...Duginist appropriation of a primarily western occultist framework (and specifically the worldview of Chaos magic) and its transformation by the Duginists into a strategy for political action in the service of the Fascist Internationale.

Pic is something I wrote in 2016.

The Cult of Kek evolved into Qanon, and Qanon evolved into COVID disinformation, the 2020 Republican plot to overthrow American democracy, anti-woke and trans hate.

https://vimeo.com/129609470
https://vimeo.com/218908974

Fuck ties. You'll never see me wearing one.

>>22631034
those are only fun up to a point. i don't particularly enjoy any of them anymore
>>22631038
being a vagrant and doing hard drugs IS fun until something goes horribly wrong, and it always does. i will have to try the ninja thing THO
>>22631042
i hate cardio and i can only cook so much (as i can only eat so much) and i hate women

>>22631064
I don't get the hate around ties.

>>22628317
will i go to hell if i intentionally put myself in a situation where i'm likely to be murdered for professing the Christian faith? like if i go proselytize in Nigeria, for example

>>22631149
idk I don't think hell is real

Who is the most /fa/ living writer? It has to be Donna Tartt right?

>>22631164
then the question clearly wasn't directed at you

>>22631149
The absolute state of this board..

>>22628317
the instant the blade tore open his flesh he busted and cummed

>>22628451
Subahibi

Do you think the past is a good reason to commit suicide? Why or why not?

>>22628447
People with money aren’t really powerful. That’s a liberal miscalculation.

>things go bad with a woman who I was dating and really like
>feel depressed as fuck, like I've lost something truly precious
>spend a couple hours smoking half a pack of cigarettes and then take a bath
>suddenly feel very well, like nothing at all happened
>even realize I can keep going out with her as long as I keep things casual
I think I might be insane.

>>22631201
you think i shouldn't do it?

>>22630869
you talk to your family about watching porn?

I have no reason to watch Redline.
I have no reason to play Artico.
I have no reason to watch Naruto.
I read Oriegairu
Reason: To recieve perspective on social dynamics.
I played Far Cry 5
reason: to recieve perspective on the aesthetics of my homeland physical space, and my homelands metaphysics during conflict.
I played Battlefield 4
reason: recieve perspective on the coming nature of the world and war.
I am reading Neon Genisis Evangelion
Reason: it is probable that I will recieve perspective on something very important, identified by the gravity of the aesthetics.
I ought finish Disco Elysium:
Reason: I have already recieved perspective on the consequentiality of life and on my own world through a warped mirror.
I can likely get alot more out of it.

>>22631364
don't think that you can discern what you might learn before you dip in, you little neet faggot

>>22628317
i am beyond my limit

>>22631367
you can judge books by their cover

>>22631372
based

>>22630869
>trying to elicit pity from the few people (family) I talk about this.
Bro... Please tell me you don't actually talk about your porn habits with your family.
They're probably cold to you because they don't want to hear anymore about your masturbation habits you weirdo.

Remember this prayer in your time of affliction:
When there's no hope
And you just can't cope
You can always rope

>>22631028
Sports
Social drinking
Spending the entire day jacking off while terribly hungover

>>22631064
But you will see me tied up ;)

>>22631435
>Sports
too poor to watch in person and watching on TV is kinda lame
>Social drinking
alcoholic, can't drink without severe consequences. not even a little fun anymore
>Spending the entire day jacking off while terribly hungover
God says no

Why do homeless schizos all act the same. Same lines, same mannerisms:
"I am just gonna sit down for a second!"
Always the same every time.

>>22631448
They also all switch weirdly fast to aggressive with no warning whatsoever irrespective of how nice you are being to them

>>22628317
On the internet, I've formulated a persona that's the opposite of what I actually am. We may share the same name, the same interests, most everything, but we're nothing alike. He's interesting, funny, sociable, actually had the balls to turn that girl into his girlfriend, and hasn't given up on everything. When I'm him, or pretending to be him, I'm happy. But then reality sets in and I'm back to being the miserable sack of shit I am in reality who's unable to hold conversations, has never even had friends, let alone a girlfriend, and wants to kill himself. Part of me wants to just kill that guy off so I can stop thinking about how things could've been. However, like with all my other vices, I can't bring myself to quit.

>>22631442
>watch
No, play them faggot

>In a 2016 study, 83 percent of veterinary general practitioners reported prescribing dogs anti-anxiety medication.
Why are my countrymen so utterly ludicrous and insane?

>>22631500
Americans have gotten to the point that we are beyond satire.
Imagine giving your pet prozac, or consulting a pet mental healthcare specialist. It's completely absurd

i'm listening to that sapolsky book on determinism. if there's no free will then black pill chuds are right? women have no choice but to be attracted to attractive guys and repulsed by repulsive guys? highly problematic!

>>22631479
wicked suggestion, omar. dude is suicidal and you suggest sports. you wont even suggest a specific sport.

>>22631622
Is one sport better than another for suicidal thoughts? He can do what he likes and is physically built for. Exercise, sunshine, and teamwork and camaraderie are all essential features of what we as social animals are designed for. He's clearly unhappy because he sits in a dark room all day staring at the wall. And yeah, sports have helped me get over my depression. Get active faggot.

>>22631644
>beta kid crying with an excuse

>its another anon stays up till 1 AM on a sunday night because hes dreading the work week episode
books for this feel?

>>22631698
It's actually monday morning

The future is going to be steampunk.

This girl I knew from uni messaged me this week. Hadn't talked in almost 5 years but we got along very well then. And she was very pretty... but married. She's single now though (not a surprise, she was overly open with me, discussions we had were far too intimate) and so am I. I messaged back suggesting to meet up and was eager to see where things led. Then I checked her facebook.
Of course now she's a fucking shitlb, feminist hamplanet with obvious baggage from her failed marriage. And I'm gonna feel like a piece of shit for ghosting her. I should have known better, of course she'd end up like all the rest of them. But it's hard to accept that, while special people really are out there, they won't be special forever.

Remember the Song of Seikilos friends: "Life is short / And time will take it's toll."
https://youtu.be/9RjBePQV4xE?t=25

>>22628317
Has anyone read Tian Wen?

It's crazy how much detail they can get from a 5000 year old corpse. Good Wikipedia article.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ötzi

I didn't think I could become anymore alone but I am. I'm not even sad about it but I have literally 0 friends now or family now, time to step up that sigma grind, I guess.

>>22630648
No fap can work in indirect ways, such as simply making people see they can control their lives. Most of it is correlation though, the people who truly decide to turn their lives around enough to stick to no fap already are on an upward trajectory so ofcourse they start to see improvements then naively credit them to nofap.

>>22628317
I don't know what's worse:
>Your parents not willing to be in the room in which you were circumcised as an infant like the cowards that they are while a stranger rips your foreskin from the glans that it was meant to be fused to until late childhood, crushing the remainder of the prepuce and frenulum and then turning your penis into a Frankenstein experiment
or
>Your parents being in the room when the above happened and not stopping the doctor or otherwise not realising from your shrieks of indescribable pain that something isn't quite right
In any case, I feel immense grief and betrayal

>>22628317
The Noble Lie:
Man is incapable of adhering to what he knows to be true for long or for pride or for posterity in his race with his family in his time in his age in his bones. He must dissimulate his true intentions in order to realize them. In order for his compatriots to follow through they must be beguiled into thinking the incentive is enough to satisfy their obtuse risk apetites, indolent resistances, and aberrant distracting urges. And so hell was invented. Hell is simple. Bad. Worse than you can think. Heaven is ineffable. Better than the best you could comprehend or begin to imagine. So the Bible posits itself as infallible. It fails all ground that knowledge covers. Yet it succeeds impeccably beyond all literature at preserving families, courts, and covenants. Knowledge is a curse. A beguile that makes you think your learning can be imitated. It cannot. Comfortable geniuses demand reason win. Christian Wolff wanted men to see reason. Christian Wolff wanted kin to be like him but only Mengele could make that happen and we must make ammends with skidrow monkey pawnshop Brazil and Bible Belt tard city.

>>22628317
I think dogs might be a bit of an anachronism nowadays, working dogs at least. I own a dachshund that roams around my backyard; a good hunter with a keen sense of smell. She spends a very long time around piles of garbage barking and trying to dig through them, yesterday I was bored and decided to help her get to whatever she was barking at, after lifting a few boards it turned out to be rat pups —I think they were rats at least. Before I had figured out what they were the dog had already disemboweled three of them. This reminded me that she was a hunting dog, and this was what she was bred to do, even if she didn't do it much, a waste of good genes in my opinion. But she has had pups, so I hope that someday her excellent genes will see use again.

>>22631994
Waaahh waahhhh
Grow up man it's a piece of skin. You'll be okay

>>22632074
Just an excellent dog all around.
There are three other dogs there, an old Belgian shepherd who seems to command leadership of the group by virtue of old age, also my childhood dog. My sister's Belgian Shepherd, and my goofy labradoodle eunuch dog which I feel is very similar to me.
The old one has slain many a critter, in her time.

Max working day should be 4 hours. There is no good argument against this

Even with all the things that have been going on in the west since the virus appeared it feels like the general atmosphere is cooler than it was between 2016 and the virus. Like the situation on the surface is hotter than ever but it doesn't feel like there are any metaphorical tectonic plates sliding around underneath, everyone is just taking half-hearted potshots from their trenches from years ago.

Wonder what will be the next big thing that will shake it all up. Maybe an economic crisis?

Man, if I ever go again on neet time it won't be like this time. I got lazy, skipped workouts, skipped reading, spend too much time on 4chin.
Now I'm going back to work, I live with parents, so I can safe lots of money. I wonder if I should grind like a good wagie, just to one day be able to buy an apartment for myself, or should I work for a year and then neet with my savings as long as possible. The most rational approach would most likely be the first one, but one cannot get out of his mind the idea of being just purely free from the misery of work. Besides that, I'm worried about the future state of my country, if my retarded government will let the niggers in, how the demographic crisis will be solved out, how the hipergamy issue of women will progress. It all seems so bad...

>>22632127
>Wonder what will be the next big thing that will shake it all up. Maybe an economic crisis?
Mass migration on a level never seen before would be my guess.
Or maybe water wars, though those may still be far away. Who knows

I’m pretty close to a convinced Christian but I also really do suspect that so many of our modern problems are in fact the result of Christianity.

>live in a small town/countryside
>no good jobs so you will be forever poor

>live in the city (horrible in itself)
>ok jobs but rent ect is super expensive anyway so you are barely better off

How do you win?

>>22632300
>modern problems are in fact the result of Christianity.
Such as?

>>22632307
You inherit your parents land and learn to live a modest life off of it.

>>22632300

Christianity as a religious cult vs Christianity as a spiritual path are different things.

In the end, these types of beliefs only serve as justifications for our will. If you want to walk with Jesus, then walk with him side by side. Just remember: In [current-year] Mary Magdalene is also a transgender girl. If you can't comprehend why she's transgender, then you can't understand Jesus. Just read the story with her in it, and the entire character of Jesus is revealed. Just insert the word "transgender" into who Magdalene is and you will comprehend what's happening to common Christians who defy truth and love, versus a person who can walk side by side with Jesus and not necessarily "join the cult." Just make Magdalene into someone everyone would hate and want to mock or kill.

Thomas Jefferson was an atheist, so he simply cut out the supernatural magic from his Bible with some scissors. Then he was left with only realistic words and actions of Jesus, as if he could walk among us today. I'm an atheist too of course, due to the lack of evidence of supernatural things, but nonetheless, if I met Jesus, we'd probably be friends. Same with you, eh?

>>22632312
What if you have no land to inherit? Is it over?

>>22632321
What kind of serfs were you parents that you're not inheriting anything?

The second time I went to Yellowstone wasn't the same as the first. It was only a couple days and it didn't feel like it was as special. The places were the same but I felt numb to it. I had expected some sort of spiritual feeling, like reuniting with an old memory. Nothing feels real anymore. That was seven years ago. I cannot write anymore because I lack the motivation. Anything resembling flowing writing about my own emotions, or any imaginary character's emotions, feels self-indulgent and embarrassing. I was told if you can quit being a writer, then you never really were a writer in the first place. I've written a thousand pages of pride in my life. I guess I was never a writer because I haven't really written in years.

>>22632333

You wrote this just now, didn't you? And you even got trips. But motivation is a false god. Either write or don't.

>>22632309
Progressive sympathies, the sort of way that white people are so desperate to forgive their historical sin and are weak and meek, a preference for lawfare over warfare over a desperate desire to seek peace, utopian thinking, Jewish idealization, I could go on but we all know them already. I don’t know why I need to say them.

>>22632319
This reply is almost incomprehensible.

>>22632307
Most people in that situation who win win by having gotten into an elite school and getting an elite job and/or graduate degree through their 20s. We didn’t do that so we’re fucked. The informal pseudo-aristocracy lets you join its fringes with the right credentials or amount of money.

How do you cope with having to slog through some computer science degree or work some spreadsheet jockey with a female middle manager job when all you want to do is live the /lit/ life?

>>22632307
1) Live below your means
2) increase your means
3) do both of above

I've been surfing on a wave of bad luck for quite a while. First, it was my mom who got sick and have to be in the hospital for weeks. Then, I've got diagnosed with Bells Paralisys and got my face fucked up for a few months. Then, I've got Covid really bad because I didn't take all the vaxx. Yesterday, a bunch of fucking bees invaded my house (I'm alergic to those bitchs). Now, my gf wants to break up with me (according to her, we are not together anymore). Also, my cat was puking everywhere last week and I thought he was going to die. Like, Jesus... give me a fucking break, please. Did I get witchcrafted or something?

>>22632348
Yet somehow these things like
>Jewish idealization
>lawfare over warfare
>white guilt
Got worse when people got less Christian.
How do you explain that?

>>22632403
>Bells Paralisys and got my face fucked up for a few months
>I didn't take ALL the vaxx
fucking kek.
rip anon

I am looking for a good, not too long intro book to Korean history before I can dive more deeply into the subject I want to research (being japanese colonialism in Korea).

>>22631001

Lmao, disappear. I shitposted about my life so much on /lit/, I became famous across multiple boards. I don't have any tragedies or suicidal tendencies. Just a non eventful life.

>>22631479
>>22631644
i lead a pretty active lifestyle as is and im in good physical health. i don't think that's the problem

Dubs and I'll take some pills.
Trips and I'll kill myself today.

>>22632455
nice

>>22632408
C'mon, I took two of them bitches. Isn't that enough?

>>22632455
holy molly

Whenever I have the chance, I need to rummage through my grandparents' house; my grandpa is becoming forgetful and he told me he had books and papers which he didn't know where they were placed.
>picrel was what I'd previously found

>she told me about how she was falling for me, about how she could see us dating if she didn't have to go back home in December
>about how she felt like we had known each other for years
>she went looking for me, missed me, invited me on dates and fucked me
>called for me when she was ill and thanked me to high heavens after I cared for her
>Less than a week latter she didn't feel like it anymore, told me that I was a good person and left
I hate myself.
>It's your fault for being beta and catching feelings
What's the point of dating and getting to know someone if you aren't allowed to feel for them? I don't wanna womanize, I just want to find people who don't treat each other as something disposable.

>>22628317
As much as I rag on sportsball...
I had a point when I was good at it but now I am bad at it and my point is invalid

>>22632333
>The second time I went to Yellowstone wasn't the same as the first. It was only a couple days and it didn't feel like it was as special. The places were the same but I felt numb to it
I worked in Yellowstone for five years, I could never get tired of it. Such an incredible place.

>>22629171
Not yet...

>>22628565
Nothing always happens.

>>22628721
>Why do people try to turn to gods that aren't mine
A question as old as man. Funny enough those that ask this question come from all denominations and spiritual paths. Curious.

>>22628744
You probably pulled your pud to some weird shit when you were a kid and are paying for it now. Sick fuck.

>>22629763
But thats how you know you made a good post. A thread ending post made all other anons speechless.

>>22629795
Start a commune with other nuclear families. Then become the figure head and convince the other community members wives to suck you off because god told them to.

>>22630151
Got it. I will pursue men instead. Thanks anon for putting me on the right path.

>>22632617
Yeah that's what fucks me up.
I love nature but I feel like I don't feel enough awe at these places.

>>22630457
She wants to fuck you. You should go for it.

>>22632404
Well, I don’t necessarily agree that people got less Christian. I would say there’s a difference between coming less of a (what we might consider) orthodox (little “o”) Christian and becoming a non-Christian. Westerners can’t ever really be non-Christian in my opinion.

When do you think it was that American took its grievous misstep? I can agree when people identify events like the Revolution, the Civil War, and the World Wars as laying the foundation for progressive insanity, but America was definitely a lot more defensible from a traditional standpoint through the 20th century than it is today.

>>22632723
Was it legal innovations like Civil Rights law or legalizing gay marriage? Those seem to me a total abandonment of foundational cultural principles in a way that revolution, reconstruction, and the crusade against the mid-century Germans just aren’t.

Not even once in 31 years.. no tears or anger will change that even if that be relieving for a very short period.

>>22630973
Because you fucks don't go outside. Simulations of life are all you have to be nostalgic about.

>>22632439
Nono what I meant was that I wished you would remain on this thread, exactly what you did. I feel like I'm really similar to you except (for now) about the work part, but I could easily end up in a situation similar to yours in the future. I can't imagine working with others actually. What your parents or family think about your condition?

>>22631072
Love that the first two are basically "they are fun until they ruin your life." You are talking about killing yourself, what do you care if your life gets ruined? Worst case scenario you postpone your suicide a couple of months.

>>22632307
By doing the first one and running an online business of some kind. Ideally in food production.

>>22632440
What does your average day look like

>>22632356
By supporting your family with a job where you automate 2/3 of your work load and use that time to read pdf's of books and work on your creative writing ideas. Bonus points if you get your own space to have whatever comforts you want.

>>22632455
Hell yeah.

>>22632455
urgtmi

>>22632606
Sorry brother. It's the nature of the beast. At the very least you sound like a good dude and you will almost certainly find someone else. It doesn't make it hurt less but there it is.

Something that you wouldn't necessarily know from watching porn is that when you DP a chick you can feel the other guy's dick in there too

idk if it's the time since i've seen her or the lexapro but seeing pictures of her doesn't make my heart leap out of my chest like it used to

i dont know how to feel about it though

Really at a loss regarding what I should study: if I should choose something relevant to my current career or if I should use the degree to change to something else entirely

I was listening to a Yale lecture the other day on the Roman Empire and in the course of the professor’s main point of taking a critical look at what it means to live in a dark age he made an example of the fall of humanities in the collegiate experience and remarked that future historians could possibly see our time as a dark age because of it. It was a touching story actually: a British secret operative captured a German general and in the process of taking him back to the British they could only converse with each other through quoting classic literature in Latin back and forth over the span of 4 or 5 days. He grinned very slyly at the audience after he said it and the silence from his students hung over the auditorium as an affirmation of his point. Glad to know there are still a few based professors left in the discipline with the nuts to call his students what they are right in front of them even while being paid for it! It was a sophomore level class and while I don’t hold myself to be a historian I was astounded at the amount of primer info he was having to give to these kids. Shit like: slavery was a common thing back then and it wasn’t always black people, Christianity is an integral component of late Roman history and has to be understood to understand the history, history is written by the victors, etc. I admire his vigor and resolve in the face of his bobbleheaded students who clearly haven’t done the readings based off of his QnA sessions at the ends of his lectures. He is a bearer of the torch and a strong one for the age we live in.

I have to take an emergency pre-work shit!

>>22632769
Thanks. I just need some time. Need to learn how to meditate too. Having feelings is all well and good but being overwhelmed by them is too much.
>>22633030
Sounds interesting. Can you post it?

>>22633030
Our age is the darkest age there’s ever been because while a genuine organic culture fails to flourish, not only do our best attempts at a-cultural civilization fall short, but they’re catalogued in an internet that will disappear when the means to maintain the servers disappear. 2000+ will look to the history books like it never even happened. Probably for the best, considering the level of embarrassment due to us for this sorry excuse of a civilization put forward. I recently read Oswald Spengler and laughed out loud when I read his prediction that 2000-3000 would be an era of practical and political greatness. If only he knew that we weren’t going to get Lenin on steroids, but rather king basketball and the orange egotist. If only he knew were weren’t going to put forward Andrew Carnegie on steroids, but rather weird looking grifter with trans kids that spends all of his time tweeting retarded memes.

We are at a point where we have to ask if this civilization is even salvageable. Forget the history.

>>22633086
https://youtu.be/YAVUS-QUe_c?si=L7DtvGHUE-Oha6VW
It’s the 4th chapter of the video that has the story I was talking about

My purpose is to die homeless, why do I keep denying it?

>>22632761
U r going to make it?

>>22633333

>>22629508
It could be worse bro. You could be an American paying MONEY for this kind of experience. I has a similar circumstance but with the exception that the friend group which I found and lived with for a short period of my time there never liked me from the start and only kept me around as a cruel joke. Of the parties which we had at my place there were several where unbeknownst to me I was an object of derision the whole time. They made fun of me behind my back constantly and would literally bet women at said parties to feign interest in me. I cope by smoking marijuana. Jesus loves you Anon.

one of my christian friends has a relative who is planning to fight for israel and asked me to 'pray for him'. but all i could think of is why? why would i pray for someone who is in the army going to kill people? and why would you join the army in the first place if you were supposedly religious?

I respect a lot of what you can do and what you have been doing, but unfortunately the dog is just a little more qualified and has better references, so, uh... yeah. We're gonna go with the dog.

>>22633427
Dogs are a solid choice desu

>>22633436
It's just the one dog, actually

>>22633400
Pray for the well being of his soul. God desires all mankind be saved, regardless of how retarded such peoppe are

>>22633249
Thank you.

A few years ago I started reading Infinite Jest and decided that I would only do so while stoned. It seemed like a good idea at the time while I was high. I like the book and spent a lot of time reading and rereading parts of it while on enough edibles to give a herd of elephants the munchies so dire they'd inhale every crumb of food on the African continent like a plague of the hoovers from the Teletubbies. I stopped eating and did nothing but walk around, get stoned, read, and occasionally try to fuck when I remembered I had a cock. Weed never makes me hungry for some reason. To cut a long story short I ended up with a howling case of weed psychosis for a while. They say that a letting a fool persist in his folly is the only way for him to attain wisdom but if ever there were a counterpoint to that claim it would be my retarded ass.

Why is Mark Danielewski so cool? Do you think he really traveled around on the interstate going to strip clubs during daytime hours to give strippers and bouncers copies of his manuscript to read? What a badass.

Which Western philosopher c. 1700-present can Westerners look to for virtuous ethics?

>>22633519
Literally only catholics

Why are the Middle Easterners considered to have no culture? Contemporary turkish drama is better than ever. They live in big fat palace-like mansions and are highly concerned about their honour and how they appear in front of others.

i'm $2k in credit card debt and owe the govt $7k
but i got a haircut today and feel like a brand new person

When we focus on something, we are actually channeling abstract energy into matter in infinite abstract ways.

I think also that when we say something, its never wasted, because infinite multiverses of ears are omnipresently listening. Even within the soul of an opponent, there’s infinite neutral abstractions that abstract on what’s said in infinite abstract ways.

Speak out. The senses that can truly sense whats said shall sense it. I think reality is so abstract that all has senses and in infinite abstract ways there’s no such thing as time or distance. But I feel ears and eyes are so cute.

Also also

Power is abstract. There’s infinite abstract directions of power.
There’s also infinitely abstract directions.

Ooo magic.

Magic and science are meant to be together.
Abstract science.
Like how all sorts of good peaceful anarcho-libertarian-nazi-communism are clearly something to grow more in this world.

I demand real leaders
Make anime real, fuckos

I must add that in the series I'm currently watching one of the main characters emigrates to NY just because he was mad at his parents and his future arranged wife. I say this for whatever future encounters you might have with Middle Eastern immigrants. Some of them are based retards.

Your tree stand is not even 50 yards away from a highway and is overlooking a walking path with a posted sign that says “Walkers Welcome” retard.

Spengler’s future was woke cultural Marxism…

I think my dad raped my mom in a not really violent but still forced into something kind of way. I don't know it but my mom has alluded to something like this happening. It seems something major has happened, and he hasn't beaten her, and there were some kind of fucked up things to do with sex after the time it would have happened. The thing is, I have raped someone in a similar vein. Or, kind of, that's what I'm wondering I guess, if it is similar. It's different in that they were married like 20 years, with me it was a gf of 4 years. My case probably wouldn't classify as rape in other countries, we have very strict laws that make a lot of things be "rape" here (I'm not sentenced or anything). They're from an earlier generation, but still a feminist generation, I guess. Something happened that affected her. I guess what I'm wondering is what it could mean trying to empathize with him. A lot of shit had happened with my gf. I don't feel 0 guilt, but all things considered I don't feel a great deal of guilt. I suspect my dad feels guilt, but it could be about other things. I've wondered a long time why my dad is fucked up. It seems my whole family whatever-you-call-it is moving forward. Story? I've known for a while that something happened, but I have not really empathized with my mom. I'm very angry with her for other reasons. It's possible that I'm going to learn about what this meant for her. Might help me understand how my ex might have felt.

> 20th century right wing thought: proceeding from the premises laid out by Kant and Hegel, and informed by the historical discontinuity of Western politics as the result of the French Revolution, we combat veterans and survivors of brutal gas attacks declare this the political manifesto of the [x] people and assert dominion over the world
> 21st century right wing thought: WhAt Is A wOmAn?!

I need to get over her but the only person I wanna talk to right now is her.

Should I buy a helicopter to fly between my homes? I'll have to build landing pads on them if I do.

I should have studied finance or pre-law instead of economics.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH QUE SI EL TIENE UN MACHETE
YO TENGO UNA AMETRALLODORA

>>22633934
Give me like 600k cash and I’ll handle it for you

>>22633934
Similarly to the ancient Aryan, who built his war chariot all by himself, the Aryan of modernity will fly around in a helicopter he made himself.

>>22633946
I should have studied DEEZE NUTS instead of philosophy

>>22633758
>Why are the Middle Easterners considered to have no culture?
Literally who has ever said that

I finally identified the career I want, but I feel like I’m too behind the curve to actually get it and succeed now.

>>22633984
Play catch up

The older I get, the lower my estimation of my fellow man goes. And yet, I still give people a chance to prove me wrong. I hope I never wise up

For the love of God I'm so horny

>>22633816
sounds like good zombie huntin

>>22628317
After fabricating an errand for the occasion, today I drove 40 miles across remote rolling corn country in a big ol' comfy but somewhat athletic sedan at pretty much whatever rate I pleased or felt right for the conditions, the road almost to myself, the driest still-standing corn oddly glossy and glittering in the noontime of what must be the last radiant day of autumn. Saw two huge sugar maples in a kind of impromptu park, passing like a lush and golden hallucination. There was actually a road-sign that said "HARVEST UNDERWAY". Almost home I imagined how much my youngest sister would enjoy the ride and spectacle, could she be there in the passenger seat. Daydreaming behind the wheel I missed a turn I didn't notice for about two miles, and made a few discoveries in the process before turning around, for instance a weird estate densely walled by fruit trees on the other side of the road from a wooded area. Great fun. Would do everything again. Everything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuL7zRthBg

You have grown so remiss to me
its a mystery
Why You have committed unto me
Untold misery

>>22633370
Yup. Get with the times gramps

>>22633989
Sometimes the fact that you’re playing catch up means you can’t win though

>>22633030
>He grinned very slyly at the audience after he said it and the silence from his students hung over the auditorium as an affirmation of his point.
Tbf a general and a special operative are not exactly the average student. Though i wouldn't be surprised if standards even for the elite have declined.
The notion that we live in a cultural dark age is interesting. Perhaps the 60s radicals will be marked as the beginning of the decline, or the spread of mass media.
>Shit like: slavery was a common thing back then and it wasn’t always black people
Do people not know this?

>>22634138
Dumb. Hardly anyone is ever "on time" in their efforts. Just do the shit you have to do for the shit you want.

I know everyone here hates women so I won't value your input very much, but I really wonder first of all if industrialism ultimately meant the death of women as a species, and whether or not they can be blamed for having celebrated that death through feminism (probably a spook invented to make them accept an added 8 hour workload to their families). Can they be blamed for having wilfully, happily abandoned their natural role?

>>22634172
sounds like you hate women too

i must either suffer the pain of papistry or suffer the pain of lesbian pastor with mood disorder

>i must suffer
no you don't, you clearly see two wrong answer before you and never even considered refusing both of the churches offerings for being rubbish

My super sexy professor was wearing this thin dress today. I could see the outline of her underwear through it. I want to fuck her so bad

>>22634239
Too much internet has ruined you bro. I belong to a nice non denom church that doesnt have any of that weird shit going on.

>>22634222
that wasn't the question

I'll have to refrain from very expensive hobbies. I'll have to sacrifice some of my lifespan. Whatever, this is the only path I can take.

evens and I reactivate my instagram
odds and I let it die and get deleted

>Sit at home all day playing a video game.
No guilt.
>Sit at home all day watching movies.
No guilt.
>Sit at home all day jerking off.
No guilt.
>Sit at home all day watching a TV show.
Guilt is off the charts.

What the fuck, why am I OK with wasting my time doing other shit but as soon as I turn on a show, I start feeling like shit? I fucking love watching shows, do you know how many I want to binge right now?

I miss Hitler

>>22634415
yeah i know normal Christians don't care about any of this shit irl and that only makes me feel worse about it

>>22634635
Hitler? I don't even know her!

>>22628317
i am going to relapse. not right now. not even tomorrow. but soon. it's as good as done. no stopping it now

I went to mass today. Yesterday too. First time going to mass in years and I do it twice on a row. I liked the homilies, but the rest of it felt like some half-remembered dream. Last time I seriously went to church was during my first-communion. Even back then I didn't understand the purpose behind it. Maybe because my parents were never churchgoing folks. Non-practising Catholics is how we call these kind of people around here. I told the girl who took me to mass the first time that I envied how familiar it all felt to her and how she was used to the warmth of the people there. It confused her. I don't think she got me even after I explained myself, although it was still clearly in her mind hours latter.
Associating mass with her isn't a good idea. Maybe that's why I went by myself to another church today. I feel that things will end badly between us. Maybe they already have. Don't know if I'm not good with women or just go after those who aren't good for me. Don't know if I'm good for her. This one gave me the final push to go to mass - something I had wanted to do for years - that's good right? So what if she expects me to pay for things despite knowing I'm broke? So what if she's leaving a couple months from now? So what if I suspect that she's only with me for emotional support, fun and usefulness? So what if she's a narcissist and has such a short attention span that I'm pretty much sure that she'll sever any feelings for me on record time when the situation calls for it?
God.
I need God. Maybe that's why I went to mass two days in a row.

>>22634642
Why would that make you feel worse

I dont need your help. You should probably save yourself.

>>22634683
Each day abstaining is a win. Each hour is an hour you spent free from vice and all the ills that come from it. Now stop being neurotic about relapsing and creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Maybe you'll relapse. Maybe you won't. Doesn't matter as long as you're always willing to pick yourself up again. Every day you taste a life free from vice is a day that weakens it's hold on you. Addiction doesn't define you. You didn't came to this world an addict. It isn't a part of you. Do you know what IS inherent to you tho? The strength of character necessary to recognize your own vices and decide that you want a life free of them.

>>22634714
millions of people do intuitively what i struggle to do with a great deal of conscious effort. i have no Christian community. i've repeatedly failed to find a congregation i'm at home in or whose theology resonates with me. i am chronically unchurched. all because i wasn't raised in a religious household

>>22634728
I was raised secular and found a church which feels like my real family now. Just pray about it and God will lead you to one. Be open to the Spirit's move. Pray pray pray.

I habitually avoid reading new books even though I have an e-reader because I feel a compulsion to collect and arrange works I read on a bookshelf. But I don't have any space to display my books nor do I really want to spend a lot of money on new books nor do I want to have to move them when I leave this house. So my materialism is strangling me.

I've had enough of her shit. Barely responds to me. Tried initiating a conversation again today and she stopped responding after she sent 1 message. Didn't even bother to read my follow-up message about how she barely talks. Tomorrow I'm either gonna make her explain herself or call her an asshole and stop trying with her

>>22633918
Talk to her, then.

>>22628317
I had a group presentation today and one of the groups members was a true pain in the ass. A 50-year old spinster in law school (read: A complete fucking weirdo). Idk what it is about law school, but I have NEVER had group projects be more tedious, and overbearing than in this fucking dumping ground. 4 people agree, only for 1 person to spend the entire time hampering any attempts at progressing through the project. It's ALWAYS the ONE person. ONE. All it takes is ONE person to completely demolish any positive developments. There's a sociological lesson here: All it takes is ONE person to destroy a positive collective. This goes for friendships, families, communities, and societies. Please, if you're reading this - don't be that ONE person who ruins EVERYTHING.

Realizing my church's theology is very unique. It teaches adult baptism, predestination, once saved always saved, assurance of salvation, dispensationalism, and theosis. Its like a mash up of a bunch of protty churches

>>22634852
Why don't you just cut the dead weight out, make sure they receive no project for the grade, and communicate with your professor that this individual is being obstructive and has added nothing to the group?
You are ALLOWING one person to ruin the project.

>>22634852
This is why I dont believe in democracy

>>22634852
T. Plato in the republic

My mental state is deteriorating, and even though I know this I will continue to use the internet in ways that make it worse.

>>22634453
I can't live without expensive hobbies. Wish I could afford more expensive ones. I love my family more than anything, but love isn't quite so entertaining.

I JUST WANT SEX WHY CANT I HAVE SEX

>>22634854
Pentecostal?

>>22634737
Around August I read The Time Machine for about the 12th time. It's a ragged pulp copy, and I enjoyed it as much as ever. How does one even come up with terms like "Morlock" and "Eloi" for such varieties? I wish I had so beautiful a mind.

>>22635040
No. Church says pentecostals are superstitious and excessive. We're non-denom

>>22634852
>All it takes is ONE person to destroy a positive collective
I am that one person, and no i won't stop. I'm an effective parasite

>>22634703
Sodomize and corrupt her. Do what must be done

Maybe if girls looked like and acted like they did in the '80s then I'd put in effort.

>>22635082
Mall hair lulz.

>>22635093
Yes, I think it's very attractive.

Why the fuck can't I do a pushup? I'm not even fat, I'm 6'1" 88kg and I can't do one but I see videos of 200kg motherfuckers doing them, how the fuck.
>Your form is bad.
I've watched countless videos on form and copied them to a tee but I still can't do them.

>>22635098
I suppose. It depends on the mall, the salon, the chick in question.

>>22635112
Absolutely, I'd still pick a chick with mall hair over any other chick these days.

>>22635106
takes time,
just do them on your knees, like 5~9, or until you fail. take a break
do this 4 times total

after try to do planks

dont do pushups for ~2 days, then do your sets again.
eventually (almost) every other day
eventually not on your knees

on off days make sure you at least walk or stretch or something.

>>22628317
dubs and i blow all my disability money on ketamine

>>22635116
I can't be so restrictive.

>>22635143
I'm fine being single for the rest of my life so I guess I can be but yeah, I understand that most guys are not happy with being single and dating is hard for straight guys these days so they sorta have to take what they can get.

>>22635138
Reroll

>>22635154
I'm 60 and still not so fine being single for the rest of my life. I still want moar, and always will.

>>22635202
>I'm 60
>moar
I don't know if I believe you, anon.

Sometimes I think that I didn't progress psychologically but that's so much bullshit. That skinny boy who couldn't find the strength to care about himself is gone. Who started smoking at fourteen because it seemed like a good way to fuck his body and who sometimes brushed the tips of lit cigarettes against his skin when he felt too overwhelmed by his feelings. Who barely slept, ate or dreamt. Who was afraid of opening himself up to others. Who at ninteen did nothing besides lay on his bed thinking of himself as some kind of inhuman creature while being too weak to even get up. Who spent years measuring the quality of his days by how many times he thought about killing himself. Who used to sit by the apartment window while saying "jump. Come on, jump. What are you waiting for?" Who hated himself. Always did. Always thought of himself as something despicable and worthless and terrible and small who would be better off dead or - even better - not even having existed on the first place.
I'm not well, but at least I'm not like that anymore. Maybe that seems like too little but tonight it's my whole world.

coughing up a storm, dots on my back, bats have decimated my crops. won't make it to christmas to give my boy the wooden rocking horse he's always wanted. i feel ashamed mordified devastated. my pours are inflamed, damn this wretched body. keep your loves one close, they love you after all. your young ones may be sent off to fight savages in an enchanted land, never to be seen again. my wife is dust in a skin suit occasionally rocking from side to side, but she sure can patch a hole in my sock. the community gathers in the church as a dust storm of severe magnitude hits, we pray for mercy before a shaking cross. the debtor pays a visit, empty the shekels before them. not enough. my wife compensates with her left nipple. i tell my wife to feed me to the livestock upon my perishing, it should save them on some of our monthly expenses. tired of the morbid shit? I'm greatly appreciative to have inherited this land and this earth, I'm proud to have spent this time with my family and I know my God will welcome me with open arms.

>>22635138
roole

imagine a whole culture of pathological liars. it's a terrible personality trait