/lit/ - Literature

>>22597830
Not nearly as much as I probably should.

Why bother? Everything I do is crap anyway.

why do any intellectual activity at all, in the present day and age? why try to write anything beautiful? AI has already made all that pointless and obsolete.

>>22597830
Its funny in all the incel looksmaxxing talk people talk about height, hunter eyes, etc. etc. but you don't hear about teeth much. My teeth are so munted, both from genetics but also fights that have left my front teeth chipped. I don't really think about it much because its what I'm used to seeing in the mirror, but I had to record a video of myself recently for work purposes and watching it back like holy shit are my teeth fucked. It's like I'm working with the shards of piano keys. Ah well, I don't care, but it probably makes me look less trustworthy, looking like a meth addict.

Been doing a lot of physical labor recently, renovating my family's house in the woods with my cousin. It does have that quality people larping as peasants or working class always go on about, like how good it feels to have fixes or built something and how good resting afterwards feels, both physically and both in terms of feeling like you've earned it. However, I'm more and more convinced that the meme of the working man being happier than the well paid office worker is just a meme.

It's fall fun and games for me because I make a very good living otherwise with little effort, and I know that there are no deadlines here, no bosses, we are building this for our families etc. It's more like a hobby. If I actually had to work with my hands 8 hours a day all my life I think I'd be miserable. Honestly, fuck honest work, I'll rather do my 2-3 hours a day for better pay from home.

>>22597830
world is so fucking empty bros

can i have a
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh

>>22597898
When I was working a manual labor job, it really wouldn't have been that bad if I was only working 8 hours a day. Instead, it was always an 11+ hour workday everyday. Those additional 3 or 4+ hours really took its toll.

>>22597870
Only for midwits, so far.

>>22597935
No problem.

>>22598003
Yeah, it can be ok if you are making more money and taking longer recovery periods.

chuds aren't punished, they just want to hate the wrong people

Off to the sauna think tank after a cozy hit

It's your duty as a good looking, tall white man to impregnate as many asian women as you can, a single white testicle is worth 100,000 oriental wombs. Know this, do something about it, make the world a better place.

I lost 15 pounds this year. From 185 down to 170. Feels good man

I am severely mentally ill. I do believe I am actually going crazy. At first I thought it was cool. I thought I was just abandoning all my inherited notions, questioning everything, being a philosopher. But now I’ve got to the point where I regularly have moments when I don’t believe anything is real. I woke up this morning and thought “None of this is real. History doesn’t exist. I don’t exist.” It was as though all human history were passing before my eyes, the rise and fall of empires, the gargantuan collective effort of civilisation,—- and it seemed to me nothing but a ridiculous puppet show. I’ve even lost all concern for human life. I watched a YouTube video about terrorists storming some music festival in Israel. And I felt nothing. Just another part of the big pantomime. And yet in the past I had the fiercest belief in justice. Worst of all I don’t even know who i am. What kind of a thing am I? I am a conscious being, true, but am I the receptacle of impressions or the creator of my own perception? What portion of this is created by me? Is Similarity (for instance) inherent in the world or is it created by me? To be honest I don’t even believe there is a difference between “the world” and me. And I hate when people talk about me, especially in a positive way. Yesterday I heard my mother bragging to her friend on the phone, “Konstantin got a first class degree! He might go to Oxford!” And I thought, “Who is this Konstantin?” When I had job interviews and people asked me “tell me about yourself” I could not respond. I tried and the words sounded hollow, fake, as though I was describing something I knew nothing about. So I stopped. I can’t understand people. I can’t understand how they accept this existence and live out the roles assigned to them. I can’t understand how they’re always smiling and happy, especially women. Every time I talk to anybody I fail miserably, and memories of the encounter haunt me for years. I have literal attacks and convulsions from these memories. The worst one being the only date I ever went on: I was physically unable to speak, and picked at the skin of my thumb until it bled, and left the girl there in the cafe alone having ordered and paid for two coffees. I am glad I am out of university now. Because every time I went there memories would haunt me of this encounter.

I don’t know. My pride wants to convince me I am superior to others on account of my half insanity. I almost treasure this state of being although I suffer from it.

>>22597830
i just want to die man that's all i want sometimes i close my eyes and hope everything else has vanished at night before going to sleep i pray to god that i will not wake up again but i do

>>22597830
They never liked you at any point to begin with, they just thought you to be a useful pretext to pursue their cynical interests under.

Is it really that unrealistic to expect to hangout with workmates after the work? Maybe it's just me.

>>22597830
Almost every dream I’ve been having is turning into lesbian coomer-bait lately.

Everything makes me angry. Grr I’m so mad. >:(

>>22598128

>>22597830
for there to be winners there have to be losers!

>>22598091
nice bro, im down from 195 to 180 so far

>>22598003
Those extra hours sound like could really fuck you up over the long term. We did work 12 hours or more some days, but it was bearable because of all the things I mentioned. Having to do it again the next day and the next would be grueling.

And I worked a manual labor job once, right after I turned 18 during the summer that was 10 hour work days, but that was only 2.5 months and I was 18 at the time. At 18 you are indestructible. Doing the same now would be very different.

>>22598035
Who are the wrong people?

So much of Christianity makes sense to me. The Logos, God, Creation, sin, redemption etc. But whenever I read end times prophecies I just can't believe it. It seems so mythological and absurd. A great sea monster will rise from the ocean? God will reign for a thousand years just to let Satan go again? A big square city will descsnd from heaven? There will be no more oceans? There will be eternal reign over a perfect earth? What does everyone do? It's really hard for me to understand. I try to just accept it because I acknowledge that I cants know Gods whole plan. But I really struggle to get it

>>22598116
It's luck of the draw. Birds of a feather, guilt by association, and all that.

>>22598161
Another anon here. I did construction work in my early 20s. It definitely does fuck you up after a while. I remember waking up at the crack of dawn with my entire body aching just to go back to work for 12 hours again

>>22598116
Depends. Some people have families and want to go home to them. Others have things to do. Some will just consider how the day will go if they spend 1 or 2 more hours after work with workmates and realize it means having 0 free time back home. The people who are most often down for going out after work are those who don't want to go home or have little to no responsibilities and don't mind spending that time with coworkers after work. I assume you are in one of the latter two groups?

>>22598162
other chuds

>>22598198
Very convenient of you.

Yes the AI singularity may go rogue and destroy the world BUT it might also be nice and figure out a way to turn me into a cute girl

>>22598167
It really seems like to comes down to a luck.
>>22598187
True. If you have a family, relationship or friends of your own - you rarely care about workmates. I'd be content with having a small group of people but that's not possible. Atleast not in the current job.

>>22597830
I have 0 days off, I’m either studying for exams until late, attending lectures or working my one of my two jobs. Is this what the grind feels like? Is this meant to be fulfilling?

Israel is going too far this time.

>>22598038
Based.

>>22597830
Ensign Harry Kim enters the room to say hello to a recently thawed out man from he early 2020's.
Voyager

>>22597830
"I will do it, the world is mine. The struggle is great in me, i can do everything i want."

So I'm going through my star systems, deciding which planets to terraform and which planets to mine for space drugs and I've found the coolest thing:

A gaia world (optimal habitability for all species) which is plagued by a rust-like exofungus which removes the gaia world perks. I've called the world 'The Fallen Garden' but I'm deciding on a name for the mining outpost; THE FALLEN GARDENS 004 MINING STATION is too long so I was thinking things like this:

Eden (as a joke)
Sallust (after the roman garden builder)
Hortis (my cruiser squadron class ships are already called Cohortis so this might clash)
Pandora (doubtful since I'm saving this for the nebula wormhole or pulsar which the trippiest lightshow)

and basically I'm running out of ideas for the name.

A second option is to ditch the name FALLEN GARDENS entirely and call the world ...X-12 BOTANICAL and just forget the joke entirely.

System is an F Class White Dwarf with a sparse asteroid belt, sandwiched in-between one of my citadel harbors and a populated system, on the borders of the empire, will likely one day see an invasion called THE BATTLE OF THE FALLEN GARDENS which makes the joke worth it.

alright thanks for your input /lit/ i'm going with EDEN

What TNG episode is that from?

>>22597870
>AI has already made all that pointless and obsolete.
AI produces only fluff with no passion behind it. The soulless machine will produce culture (art, literature, etc.) for the brainlets whom will never question it, but will leave a lot of people seeking more. They will seek out something with "soul".

>>22598370
is this because of bordeoux uniform?

>>22598379
Yeah combined with the engineering colours of the other one

>>22598395
I thought that was a joke; like "hey this fuckwit from 2023 is visually similar to our officer class,isn't that funny" thinks Harry

>>22598292
>this time
This is where this was always headed. They cultivated their Hamas strawman, and now they will seethe that Palestinians need to be genocided - which was always the plan, since before the Haavara Agreement.

>>22598400
and then in the episode he finds that TomParis an the 2022 man have a lot in common, Harry gives up trying to integrate the thawed out man and hands him over to Tom, but the thawed out man fares worse under Tom who becomes disillusioned with his anthropological interest in the early 21st century after meeting one and finding that lying and theivery comes second nature.

There's a cool scene where Tom and Janeway talk over coffee about the officer from the USS Singularity(?) who went insane after being stranded in the early 21st century and came back to kill them because he blamed them, the episode ends on a remarkably profound note where Tom and Janeway discuss the barbarism of the past and how it never really seemed real to them.

The thawed out man, thank the gods, is revealed to be found dead in his bed one morning as the cryogenic process was flawed and has turned him into a lump of charcoal. The doctor says that regrettably there's not much he can do.

Harry wanders around the thawed out mans bunk and finds a journal, he sits on the bed and begins to read.

Episode Subplot:
While this is going on Seven of Nine is on a secret spy mission and is wearing very scanty clothing and dancing in a alien brothel, to gain vital information about a certain type of vegetable that Neelix is interested in procuring for a pot roast.

>>22598330
>>22598370
>>22598400
>>22598436

it's a two part episode, i forgot to add

BEST VOYAGER SCRIPT EVER >>22597830

Listening to a whimsical Chinese man sing in my ears as I pretend I have nothing to do.

>>22598448
do you have something you actually have to do?

>>22598480
There's always something.

>>22598513
but do YOU?

America's border is wide open, thousands are dying from fetynal, DAs let murders and rapists free, the FBI targets conservatives, children are being butchered by gender cultists, but conservatives just shrug their shoulders. Then Israel gets hit with a few bottle rockets and suddenly everg conservative is frothing at the mouth, bloodthirsty, and calling for total war and genocide. Fuck Americans. I'm sick of everyone in this country being a moron

>>22597830
Can someone start a new history thread? Today is my best buds birthday and I don’t feel like it. He’s turning 47.

>>22598543
>fetynal

>>22598552
>He’s turning 47.
What is he up to these days?

>>22598543
I mean I’ll take exception to that. Though as far as I’m concerned the end goal of all this third worldism on the right, is that after they’re done they’re coming for the rest of us. I think a lot of far right people are shortsighted in this regard and don’t see the bigger picture.

>>22598557
Not much, bit of an onions boy when it comes to hobbies but that’s because he spend his whole life under a rock with an abusive family, though I take great pains not to assume he has some kind of Peter Pan syndrome. He’s actually physically stronger than me, so there’s that. Stereotypes do exist for a reason but he’s a notable exception.

>>22598543
Dude I work with some gun nuts and this bitch was talking about Hamas is going to invade the US and how they stocked up on guns and they're ready for it.
The left fucking sucks but the right is a bunch of goddamn morons.

>>22597830
I’ve denied my gut feeling and my intuition and confidence for too long.
My mind is capable of so much but it’s brought to nothing when I try to act more human.
I have something of a superiority complex brought on by endless praise.
I also hate myself and that was brought on by those same people belittling and attacking me for the same reason I received praise not a moment ago.
I’m not a victim, I’m just an idiot.
I know what I must do, but I’m afraid of what that will make me.
If I am a sum of all my actions and my actions leave wakes of pain and misery, does that make me a bad person?
I can’t tell what malice lies in my heart.
There’s a fear of the truth that lies behind my desires.
My desire is to be good and stable. That means I am not these things, if I want them.
Becoming a doctor won’t make me good, having that money won’t make me better.
But at least I can give it to the people that need it.
The frustration experienced for not actually feeling much for anyone.
That’s a lie.
I feel plenty for anyone I come across.
Why do I feel they don’t matter?
My girlfriend is another female that has fallen in love with me.

>>22598568
>>22598543
>>It is easy for the young student to-day to ask "Why did they not adjust?" But let him ask himself who there was to adjust. Our modern superstructure of applied economic science, the David Lubin Bureau and the General Directors' Board, with its vast recording organization, its hundreds of thousands of stations and observers, directing, adjusting, apportioning and distributing, had not even begun to exist. Adjustment was left to blind and ill-estimated forces. It was the general interest of mankind to be prosperous, but it was nobody's particular interest to keep affairs in a frame of prosperity. Manifestly a dramatic revision of the liberties of enterprise was necessary, but the enterprising people who controlled politics, so far as political life was controlled, were the very last people to undertake such a revision.

>>With the hypertrophy of productive activities there had been a concurrent hypertrophy of banking and financial organization generally, but it had been a flabby hypertrophy, a result of the expansion of material production rather than a compensatory and controlling development.
HG Wells, SOTC
http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks03/0301391h.html

There's something nice about being in-between jobs and sleeping all day as the Autumn rolls in again, if only there was't the crippling encroachment of money problems I could enjoy myself far more doing nothing.

I'm from mitteleuropa and there's little I hate more than the obnoxious jewish cult around the late habsburg era and vienna. That era sucked if you weren't jewish or one of the winners of capitalism (that is to say, a jew), nobody who isn't a jew or some sort of ethnomasochistic bourgeois goy suffering from false consciousness has any reason to remember the austro-hungarian monarchy fondly. It has gotten way worse in the last decade or so since the generalized revival of interest and interest in the rehabilitation of big multicultural empires like the habsburgs or the ottomans piggybacks off it perfectly.

Can't wait to hear a billion more boilerplate paeans to inane and degenerate jewish bohemianism and bourgeois kaffeehaus culture in the coming years. It's exactly what the west needs right now, yeah.

>>22598038
I support this because it will lead to the extinction of white women

>>22598543
>America's border is wide open, thousands are dying from fetynal, DAs let murders and rapists free, the FBI targets conservatives, children are being butchered by gender cultists
based
death to america

>>22597830
>Write What's On Your Mind
Some pictures are worth a thousand words.

>>22598543
This is the future americans chose. You don't get to complain about something you chose of your own volition.

>>22598624
Ever read Schorske's Vienna book? I get the same feeling about Peter Gay's Weimar book too. Cosmopolitan Jews pining for "the good times," aka when there was enough residual European high culture and morality that things stayed "stable" and it was ideal to be a rich parvenu Jew living among them, but not so much degeneration of European high culture that things were uncomfortable for Jews. They really like that "sweet spot" between when they arrive and nestle in, and when they've ruined shit and have to leave.

The whole fetishization of bohemian weirdo culture is just grotesque. I can admire the Vienna of Hofmannsthal's brand of aristocracy and urbanity while also lamenting that 40% of the upper class in Austria and Hungary were rich Jews who "naturalized" (lol) by becoming aggressively "nationalist" for a cosmopolitan nation that allows them to retain their ethnic distinctness.

Not even antisemitic really. But when you know the history of Austria and Hungary you can understand something of the painter's mania once he got to Vienna.

>>22598624
>te habsburg era and vienna. That era sucked if you weren't jewish or one of the winners of capitalism (that is to say, a jew), nobody who isn't a jew or some sort of ethnomasochistic bourgeois goy suffering from false consciousness has any reason to remember the austro-hungarian monarchy fondly.
It's surprising how little is made of this period which led up to the great wars and occurred at the apex of industrialized colonialism.

Looking at old pictures of myself and realizing I was a good looking young guy. But my mind was so warped, I thought I was ugly and felt small. Fuck I wish I had some confidence back then

>>22598643
I didn't choose shit. I was born into and villified by literslly everyone for openly dissenting

>>22598665
I never really cared because I'm tall. I have a beard for the past several years and had forgotten what my jaw is like (I have a good jawline but didn't know the overall size), at 14 I had an above average jaw in both size and width.
Feelsgood man

>>22598676
what was the evolutionary benefit of this, do you think? try to remember when you possessed your human form, cast your mind back to the days when you were not a brain and an eye ball in a jar of white wine vinegar

>>22598676
I'm taller than average but in my mind I always felt small. I used to perceieve people way smaller than me as being much larger than myself. I was just extremely insecure. I hate it. I lost out on years of my youth from lack of confidence

>>22598681
it's really a byproduct of good genes and high serum testosterone.
greater height also has the benefit of increased upper body strength

>>22598685
wait, really? i have a v-taper and wide shoulders so i guess this helps because I mog almost everyone (despite not being bulky)
just git gud at kickboxing
>I lost out on years of my youth from lack of confidence
Same but out of boredom. I usually don't get laid for years despite getting eyefucked eye contact every day from girls, because I don't talk to them lol

>>22598645
It wouldn't be half as obnoxious if it was just a jewish thing. But no, every 105 IQ middle class retard feels compelled to slobber over its circumcised bourgeois cock. What is supposed to be the appeal, really, if your ancestors weren't jewish, middle class, or if you aren't extremely libtarded politically?

If you don't fit into any of the aforementioned categories you have zero reason to treat the passing of that milieu as something to shed tears over, just like we shed no tears for decomposing carcasses rotten beyond recognition, either. It should be treated as the period of decay and degeneration that it was, just like we don't pretend that 4th century rome was culturally superior to augustan rome.

>>22598643
What exactly did I choose?

i had a harem in highschool. was ok, am neet now
AMA

>>22598710
nigger worship

Got the news my friend died of glioblastoma a few hours back. I knew it was coming but it still shocks me. I can't go to sleep.

>>22598645
>the Vienna of Hofmannsthal
The only poem that I almost know by heart -

Sie trug den Becher in der Hand
Ihr Kinn und Mund glich seinem Rand
So leicht und sicher war ihr Gang
Kein tropfen aus dem Becher sprang

So leicht und fest war seinem Hand
Er ritt an einem jungen Pferde
Und mit nachlaessiger Gebaerde
Erzwang er, dass er zitternd stand

Jedoch, wenn er aus ihrer Hand
Den leichter Becher nemen sollte
So war es beiden all zu schwer
Und beiden bebten sie so sehr

Das keine Hand die andere fand
Und dunkler Wein am boden rollte

We had to learn it for school. I did not appreciate it at the time. We rewrote it into a morbid parody. Unfortunately, I have forgotten all of the parody. Instead of dark wine rolling on the floor in reality, it was metaphor for blood being spilled between two brothers. We had left the last two line untouched.

>>22598645
Hofmannsthal was one of them, too.

>>22598700
I actually picked up kick boxing about a year ago. Fun sport. Tried a little jiu jitsu too. I have good genes. Naturally pretty and athletic. But I had a really fucked up adolescence. Both my family and peers really destroyed my confidence and sense of self. It's taken me years to realize this. I dont know if I can ever really recover at this point. And now my hairline is going back. A bad upbringing can really fuck a person up for life

Dubs and I'll see her today.

>>22598736
How old was he? I'm sorry for your loss

>>22598650
>It's surprising how little is made of this period
Why would the propaganda machine publicize its own faults?

>>22598748
34. Thanks anon.
Ironically enough, he was neurosurgeon himself. He knew what was coming too and seeing and hearing about his degradation was heart breaking.

>>22598725
I never worshipped a nigger. What are you on about?

>>22598752
The funny thing is that in the hungarian part of the monarchy most historians to this day blame the aristocracy and the increasingly impoverished minor nobility and the native middle classes for everything that went wrong during the period rather than the jewish industrialists, the lefty radicals who coincidentally were all jews and who allied themselves with the nationalists of the surroundind peoples, the hundreds of thousands of galician jewish immigrants, or the rural jews who held back the countryside like little else with usury, alcohol, and overpriced goods.

I'm going to die of old age.

>>22598789
thats rhubbish anon, you have Plenty to live for, a Bounty, Always. Tescos Mild Cheese.

>>22598746
If you know her just ask her out. If she's a stranger, still, good luck fren

I just got an old book on AbeBooks for $9 and on eBay they're selling it for $45? what a bunch of scammers

The same old regrets keep haunting me, for years on end now. I wish I could just move on

I don't know how to talk to her more deeply. Every time we talk it's just general kindness and being polite.

>>22599039
That's the best that you could hope for. The rest is just poetic nonsense.

>>22599039
Get drunk together if possible. Me and my wife have our biggest heart-to-hearts when we're smashed at home watching a movie.

Job had such patience, I wonder what's that like?

I once fell onto a traintrack and narrowly avoided being crushed to death, it was a female security guard who pulled me up and since that day I felt like I messed up my chances of getting together with her. See, I had shit myself and when she pulled me up by the scruff of my pants she got her hand covered in slush, and then I was covered in slush when she steadied her grip. Long story story we were both covered in slush and she was sick into a carrier bag.

How magical realism is different from folk tales like One Thousand and One Nights?


>>22599057
That's passivity rather than patience.

>>22599073
One hundred thousand million (years)
That's what you like?

>>22599082
I hate time. I wish I wasn't born so I couldn't experience time.

>>22597830

it is tiresome.

>>22599165
then take a nap, dummy!

>>22599169

the kind of tired sleep won't fix

really, where do these so-called sjw's get off?

>>22599254
I usually get off in my bed or in the bathroom

>>22599318
Do you chant a mantra to George Floyd while you do it?

you ever just restlessly pace back and forth in your dingy apartment late into the night entertaining fantastical delusions of grandeurs regarding what-if-i-was-immensely-wealthy or what-if-ruled-the-world scenarios, narrating to invisible subjects attentively listening?

>>22599322
Um no that would be weird

>>22597830
On call with parents and they start to openly wonder out loud whether or not they failed as parents.
Debating sending them a very earnest letter / post I wrote, to clear the air, but I worry I might regret it.
In the letter I tell them that they're not failures, they've made some mistakes, and proceed to honestly carefully describe those mistakes, but emphasize I still love them and always will.
I'm worried they'll take it badly

Every time I push myself too hard I can't help but smirk at the thought that I'll probably be my own death cause. I'd rather die from overworking than die from a disease like Alzheimer, or a nigger cause like smoking too much cigarettes. I'd die for my own goals.

>>22599339
My mother did that last time. Why the fuck do they do that shit? Just say that they tried their best. I think that's the best answer you can leave. Good parents know they were good parents. They don't ask for a return on experience. Tell them off with their search for meaning, they had 20 years to get good and they chose not to.

Can someone rec western authors that have a similar style to Natsume Soseki? I enjoy the calm settings and young ruminating protagonists. No catcher in the rye type shit.

>>22599345
constant stress is what brings on disease, you smurf.

>>22599352
>Why the fuck do they do that shit?
Idk man it makes me feel guilty as shit and like now I have to reassure them.
It also makes me feel terrible because it's like they're implying my life is shit and they feel responsible.
>Just say that they tried their best. I think that's the best answer you can leave. Good parents know they were good parents. They don't ask for a return on experience. Tell them off with their search for meaning, they had 20 years to get good and they chose not to.
Man i can't tell them off. I still do genuinely love my parents they're just kind of neurotic and sheltered me and my siblings.
They really lack common sense sometimes. My dad was honestly speculating that he was neglectful, meanwhile in reality he was so over careful, doting, and over-supportive that he never let us learn on our own.
So it's funny to me that despite being kind of controlling, he concludes he wasn't controlling enough
Idk, I try to be honest in the letter but in a careful way earnestly describing the good and the bad, but emphasizing i will always love them and be there for them.

>>22599378
It's also like they have zero capacity to realize that what they say and feel effects us too.
When I was 20 my mom starts talking to me to my face about how i always was a weird child. And i remember thinking to myself wtf why would you say this to me?
But containing my emotion and crying later in private

>>22598562
Party was fun talking to him on an IPad stoned out of my mind

>>22598629
Fucking nigger

>>22599378
I'm debating contacting my brother and asking him for advice.
I feel like I have to tell my parents something i can't leave them thinking that stewing in regret, but also need to be honest with them.
I just don't know how to proceed

>>22599424

break your soul if you have to by deciding

>>22599039
Just tell her what’s in your heart.

>>22599428
Either way it's already broken. Nothing i could say could fix it.
They start talking about Thanksgiving, and emphasize that i am of course welcome to come, but the way he says it seems to imply i already am not. That i already am estranged by the mere fact tgat he feels it necessary to tell me that
Idk i just feel like i have no one to turn to anymore not even my parents. I am all alone now

>>22599461
Well I can't tell her that I want to marry her just yet

>>22599508
Well, what else do you want to tell her?

>>22599374
Soseki was fascinated by Henry James and Jane Austen. They might be worth looking into if you like Soseki.

Aughhh!

I WANNA WORK!!! GIMME A FUCKING JOB!!!

>>22599612
I shall pay you £32,000 to move a mouse cursor around a computer screen and pretend to be working; here is the hard part: you must humiliate yourself by giving insane presentations with extreme enthusiasm for a room of thirty people over the most mundane and normal of matters.

why do i ask this

because i am mad

I really fucking miss you.

Do you guys not realize that all first world countries are going to become like third world countries soon?

>>22599675
explain

>>22599612
Did you try looking for one anon? Where are you from?

t. got a job in the first place I walked into without even really thinking about or expecting it to workout

I quit shortly after because I couldn't hack it

it was min wage tho

and it sucked big time

>>>/vg/450068460
Artificial Academy 2 General /aa2g/ #1295
Sweater Puppies Edition

Welcome, this general is for the discussion of ILLUSION's Artificial Academy 2.

COPY ERROR MESSAGES WITH CTRL+C, PASTE THEM WITH CTRL+V INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE. JUST CLICK THE WINDOW AND PRESS CTRL + C, IT WORKS.

>Downloads:
/aa2g/ Pre-Installed Game, AA2Mini: https://tsukiyo.me/AAA/AA2MiniPPX.xml
AAUnlimited updates: https://github.com/aa2g/AA2Unlimited/releases

>Information:
AA2Mini Install Guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8Ap6CrmSNXRsKG9jsIMqHYuHM3Cfs5qE5nX6iIgfzLlcWnmiwzmOrp27ytEMX03lFNRR7U5UXJalA/pub
General FAQ:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200216045726/https://pastebin.com/bhrA6iGx
AAU Guide and Resources (Modules, Tans, Props, Poses, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17qb1X0oOdMKU4OIDp8AfFdLtl5y_4jeOOQfPQ2F-PKQ/edit#gid=0

>Character Cards [Database], now with a list of every NonOC in the megas:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1niC6g-Xd2a2yaY98NBFdAXnURi4ly2-lKty69rkQbJ0/edit#gid=2085826690
https://db.bepis.moe/aa2/

>Mods & More:
Mods for AAU/AA2Mini (ppx format, the mediafire has everything):
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/vwrmdohus4vhh/Mods
/aa2g/ Modding Reference Guide (Slot lists for Hair/Clothes/Faces, List Guides, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gwmoVpKuSuF0PtEPLEB17eK_dexPaKU106ShZEpBLhg/edit#gid=1751233129
Booru: https://aau.booru.org

>HELP! I have a Nvidia card and my game crashes on startup!
Try the dgVoodoo option in the new win10fix settings.
Alternative: Update your AAU and see if it happens again. If so, disable win10fix, enable wined3d and software vertex processing.
>HELP! Required Windows 11 update broke things!
winkey+R -> ms-settings:developers -> Terminal=Windows Console Host

Previous Thread:
>>>/vg/449160740

>>22599694
>Did you try looking for one anon?
Yes. I've applied to hundreds of jobs.
>Where are you from?
Malaysia

>>22599694
what was the job?

>>22599691
wages and living standards stagnant or plummeting everywhere you blind dingus

>>22599713
Chief Minister of Finance

>>22598562
It's over

>>22599748
*didn't mean to reply to that post
But have a (you) anyway

>>22598099
I believe you are going through what is called Manic Depression. I imagine it is due to long periods of isolation and social neglect. First thing is that you need to realize that in the interest of preserving time and capital, you should look for validity and credibility in recognized second-hand sources. Over credulity seems to be the name of your illness.

Study up, and then see if it all seems reasonable or not. Buy a microscope if not, observe proof of cell theory. Maybe that will help give you confidence in that not everything is made of lies

>>22598099
"over-thinking is the enemy of perfection; the most pernicious habit of civilized men,"
konstantin, inventor of jesus

All I want is unlimited power and immortality.

My brain's fried,
I can't hold my concentration for 10 minutes,
Words fly over my head,
Visual material only just keeps me entertained,
Someone send help.

Why is anon so gullible?

When I left work today, I saw my manager walking by herself home and I felt this sudden sense of sadness overcome me. She's a nice lady and I feel bad that her life is seemingly her job and vice versa. I wouldn't call it a meaningless existence, but I feel bad knowing that people have to live their whole lives working and working without a real end goal in mind. Sure we have to do it order to pay bills and whatnot, but for a lot of people there's nothing else for them outsides of that.

Do you notice the retention rate for 4chan moderators? They hire one week, the moderator leaves through crippling mental illness three weeks later, and repeat. It's like this in jobs too. The hiring process is obviously filtering out the people who are mentally tough enough to stay and selecting for submissive twerps who'll never present a risk of reform from within the system.

this is the west in a nut shell

>>22599896
Her butt toks swayed from side to side,
giggling and telling you "follow,"
"i- i'll see you at work Mrs Braithwaite," you said,
"t- t- t- tomorrow,"

You clambered aboard the dodgems and played the game of going home
then you sat alone in your frankfurt
dreaming and greasing your bone.

Time doesn't exist. It's made up, it's unreal. You were there one moment and now you're not. I was young and now I'm grown and there was no in-between. It's perception, it's God covering himself in illusions, it's a temporary distortion in eternity. I was not, I came to be, and then it was all gone in silver flashes.

Oh Mrs Braithwaite
(bumbumbum)
of Church Lane 17
(bumbum bumbum),
you've got the roundest arse that I've ever seen
(bumbumbumbum)
it's just the cutest, and I'd like to wallow
deep up in them guts like there's no tomorrow
(bumbum bumbum)

>>22599922
>silver flash
And what is cumming into a womans cunt but a mere discharge of accumulated positrons

All things around me are illusory motions made by the waving hand of a bus conductor, hurrying me aboard; his face are the nations, his sense of urgency are the sum total of their literary records, my bus ticket is my foreskin, the morning paper is my wife, my wife is my car, my car is my master

alms i pray for heating tokens to the kindly sur for my legs work and i cannot enter employment as a normal man

I will eat a pumpkin pie within the week or I will destroy the earth.

>>22599947
"once more into the cheese, good sir, once more into the cheese!"
nacho which speaks

>>22597830
Society will never be any smarter than this napkin

>>22599669
>69
I miss her too ;)

>>22599827
I prau you remove the boomers then, Lord Jesus

>>22599322
Namo avuso Nagato Fagato Bigulipo Niguro
Gozaimasu yaro
Kisama!

Translation:
Inhale
Exhale
I believe
I can breathe
Though my lungs are marched
And the fentanyl slows my heart
Near
Far
Wherever you are
Hold me close and
My heart will go on
Harambe and George
My rock
My stand
My love and glory in my hands

>>22599073
Magical realism i am familiar with
Arab one gorillion good mornings however is foreign
So I cannot answer your question

Unfortunately I am too handsome to read ugly Arab books

>>22597870
Bolt it down
Ratify it in court
File it with the government
Archive it in big boy archives
Or else churn in the bloody cogs of the monster machine

My ass is a swamp.

>>22600000

Ride the tiger.

>>22597830
My bedside shitposting laptop was so close to the end of its SSD capacity it had a fever, and felt annoyingly hot on my legs. An 80G dump later onto one of my archive drives, and it's cool and calm. I've kept the little bitch on 24/7 for about 6 years. Pretty amazing piece of work.

>>22597830
If Jesus was a superhero his name would be Post Man because he is nailed to a Post.

Thus is the fate of the Word become flesh. The dead beaten horse.

Man's words scarcely mean more past his bosom, adulterous scoundrel who plunders pockets and scatters knowledge. In between his ears is no such rehearsal. No code of conduct. No law. No word. No peace. Just desire run rampantly animal. Yet he is dressed for the temple today because his food bowl awaits him there. Knowledge does somehow resurrect from a page. We can thank the Bible for this. Ancient technology of delivering the primordial capacity for messaging itself at length in depth.

>>22597830
I can't move on, nor do I think I will ever be able to move on. I don't deserve to, anyway. Pieces of shit reap what they sow. Should have left her alone instead of wrecking her heart.

T0st

>>22600126
it's hard as hell sometimes, even if you're a magnificent piece of work who deserves better. Welcome to normal Romance.

>>22599339
>>22599470
There is not much point. Every parent makes mistakes and every parent wonders if they failed. People always avoid what their parents did wrong with them and do something else wrong. You will do the same if you have kids and will only realize once they are adults. It's just my opinion, but I think it's best to leave these things alone, "clearing the air" will just make them feel bad for no reason, over something they can't change. It's not like they are gonna have more kids, so what good will trying to fix wrong ideas about parenting do? If you have kids and they take care of them, it's moot anyway, as people always act very differently with grandchildren.

To me it feels like your parents are just neurotic and don't know how to interact with you now that you are an adult. I assume you are fairly young and maybe moved out recently, so now they don't know how to treat you. You are probably 100% welcome there, but they don't know how to say it without making it sound like you must come, and they don't want to treat you like a child anymore and set your holiday program for you, so they come off as awkward. I've seen this a lot, parents want their kids to come over, but want to make sure they know they don't have to if they don't want as they are adults now with their own lives, so the kids think the parents don't want them to go over. You actually seem to have some of the same traits as them based on these few posts of yours. You don't know how your relationship should look like with them, overthink things, read into things too much and so on.

Once you are an adult, you need to figure out how to interact with your parents all over again. One thing in common among basically everyone I know is that you don't bring up their parenting mistakes. It's in the past, it happened how it happened. If it wasn't the kind of horrible where you don't even want to see them anymore, you just act as if it was great, reminisce about your childhood when the topic comes up. Now you can of course ask questions you could not as a child, but best not to imply that things were bad in some ways.

>>22600242
>It's just my opinion, but I think it's best to leave these things alone, "clearing the air" will just make them feel bad for no reason, over something they can't change. It's not like they are gonna have more kids, so what good will trying to fix wrong ideas about parenting do?
I see what you mean. I actually did revise the post down to take out the critical parts.
Idk it still feels necessary to say something as they seem afraid they've failed as parents and that their kids want nothing to do with them.
The way he said it so sad made it feel to me like he really does think I am a failure in some way.
Or that they feel I am too distant. And like it was some kind of apology so it feels like I have to respond to it.
I editted down my post took out the stuff about stuff they did wrong, but just kept a brief post letting then know I still love them and that I don't feel like they did anything wrong or that i hold anything against them. That I don't want them to worry about me and some details about what I have been up to.
I'm just worried it will backfire and make them worry more...
>To me it feels like your parents are just neurotic and don't know how to interact with you now that you are an adult.
They are neurotic worriers and yes you are correct they don't know how to interact with us like adults. With my older brother they've gone to ridiculous lengths to shelter and baby him even though he's like 30. And then act like they don't understand how he turned out unable to tie his own shoes as an adult. Cause they do absolutely everything for him so he never had to learn how to anything himself. Even going so far as to halfwrite his college papers. It's honestly embarrassing.
My dad is also incapable of ever letting us pay for anything
>You don't know how your relationship should look like with them, overthink things, read into things too much and so on.
Perceptive, yeah I think i share more traits with them in large part because i was maybe too attached to them growing up. And consequently never really had an adolescence. So they're taking me being separate from them very harshly. They don't seem okay, and their worry is very much infectious as I start to worry that they're worrying about me.
My parents sometimes very much lack common sense and come to odd conclusions about things. Like sometimes i get the impression that rather than drawing from their own life xp they'll get some inane idea in their head from some article they've read and just regurgitate it.
My dad seems to have gotten it in his head for some reason that he was a neglectful abusive parent. Despite him being extremely doting, hyper cautious, and kind of spoiling all of us. It's like this weird game they play of self-mortifying hysterics.

>>22600289
I remember my Dad briefly had an insight once that he worries too much about little things that don't matter (he is obsessive about small details being exactly right to the point he would freak out when i was doing taxes and i clicked the next button before he had read absolutely everything lol)
These brief self reflective moods usually pass quickly and he is back to his usual hysterics.
I've definitely picked up a degree of paranoia from him, or being around him

She totally likes me. What if she's fucking that one English curly headed fuck right now though? ACK the imagery. It's like having the thought of your parents fucking. Heh that's fine. He's totally a midwit anyways. Right guys?

>>22600242
>>22600289
Just tell them this then, that you can feel them worrying and that they shouldn't because they were good parents (and don't mention that they maybe went overboard with caring), but also that you are an adult now, no need to shelter you. It sounds like one of those situation where you have to be straight with them, but selective in what you say and leave out some thoughts about their parenting.

If your dad brings up the idea that he was neglectful just tell him that it's ridiculous and you have no idea how he came to that conclusion. Even if you know where someone got an idea like that, it's helpful to act as if you don't and find the idea stupid (because it really is). I've seen it help people get rid of weird ideas, a sort of reckoning with the fact that the people who in theory was affected by all this, thinks completely differently.

Honestly, it sounds like your relationship with your parents will have these undertones for a while, but it'll go away once they see you getting on with your life. Just don't fuck it up by overthinking it, because that's only gonna make them overthink it even more.

Don't miss her anymore but still something just doesn't feel right.

I've been considering writing this girl a love letter, /lit/bros. We hit it off but things just aren't possible between us, sadly. Nonetheless, I still want to tell her in some shape, way, or form, the things that I wasn't able or might never be able to tell her.

She'll be gone in a week, and there's a good chance I'll never be able to see her again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion

>>22598099
>I’ve even lost all concern for human life. I watched a YouTube video about terrorists storming some music festival in Israel. And I felt nothing. Just another part of the big pantomime
I know that feel. Everyone gets it sometimes, just detached.
Had the same reactiom to the news they were expecting some kind of disgusted indignant response, but i was just like "okay"

>>22600567
Fake news there's no such thing as a cognitive distortion. Cause every mind state is a distortion relative to something else.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patikulamanasikara

>>22600578
sounds like cognitively distorted thought

Since yesterday i suddenly became acutely aware of death and the impermanence of life, and it's freaking me the fuck out. Like it just suddenly dawned on me that everything and everybody i know and care about will die, as will i, and i dont know how to deal with it.

>>22600599
congrats on your insight!

*confetti*

*fireworks*

time to jhana

https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/WithEachAndEveryBreath/Section0003.html

>>22600613
It's funny because i did start to read up about buddhism just last week (Gethin's Foundations of Buddhism), so i find it a bit weird that this panic attack just triggered yesterday.
The work is pretty academical and dry as well, so i dunno why it happened.

>>22600599
>>22600613
If death and impermanence terrifies you then you're never gonna make it, just give up now

I don't know whether to start a new book or play more mtga while listening to music. I downloaded two new books yesterday so I should probably dig into one of them.

>>22600775
I have decided that I am going to play mtga, if I run into a mill deck though, I will quit and go to a book.

>>22599750
Lol

My apologies, but I'm using this post to see an archived thread, to save some of its pics.
>>>/his/15688797

>>22597830
I guess I’ve been too nice to you.

>>22599191

>>>/vg/450068460
Artificial Academy 2 General /aa2g/ #1295
Sweater Puppies Edition

Welcome, this general is for the discussion of ILLUSION's Artificial Academy 2.

COPY ERROR MESSAGES WITH CTRL+C, PASTE THEM WITH CTRL+V INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE. JUST CLICK THE WINDOW AND PRESS CTRL + C, IT WORKS.

>Downloads:
/aa2g/ Pre-Installed Game, AA2Mini: https://tsukiyo.me/AAA/AA2MiniPPX.xml
AAUnlimited updates: https://github.com/aa2g/AA2Unlimited/releases

>Information:
AA2Mini Install Guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8Ap6CrmSNXRsKG9jsIMqHYuHM3Cfs5qE5nX6iIgfzLlcWnmiwzmOrp27ytEMX03lFNRR7U5UXJalA/pub
General FAQ:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200216045726/https://pastebin.com/bhrA6iGx
AAU Guide and Resources (Modules, Tans, Props, Poses, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17qb1X0oOdMKU4OIDp8AfFdLtl5y_4jeOOQfPQ2F-PKQ/edit#gid=0

>Character Cards [Database], now with a list of every NonOC in the megas:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1niC6g-Xd2a2yaY98NBFdAXnURi4ly2-lKty69rkQbJ0/edit#gid=2085826690
https://db.bepis.moe/aa2/

>Mods & More:
Mods for AAU/AA2Mini (ppx format, the mediafire has everything):
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/vwrmdohus4vhh/Mods
/aa2g/ Modding Reference Guide (Slot lists for Hair/Clothes/Faces, List Guides, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gwmoVpKuSuF0PtEPLEB17eK_dexPaKU106ShZEpBLhg/edit#gid=1751233129
Booru: https://aau.booru.org

>HELP! I have a Nvidia card and my game crashes on startup!
Try the dgVoodoo option in the new win10fix settings.
Alternative: Update your AAU and see if it happens again. If so, disable win10fix, enable wined3d and software vertex processing.
>HELP! Required Windows 11 update broke things!
winkey+R -> ms-settings:developers -> Terminal=Windows Console Host

Previous Thread:
>>>/vg/449160740

>>22600762
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoFeCQaflJ0

>>22600775
>play game while listening to music

https://youtu.be/QmOF0crdyRU?t=2992

more dopamine is followed by less dopamine

combining dopaminergic activities together or chained one after the other creates larger and longer dopamine spikes which leads to deeper and longer lasting drops in dopamine

what goes up, must come down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUngLgGRJpo

stick to books and meditation

https://www.dhammatalks.org/

lots of good ones here

>>22601101
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnt1eb9vQxA

>>>/vg/450068460
Artificial Academy 2 General /aa2g/ #1295
Sweater Puppies Edition

Welcome, this general is for the discussion of ILLUSION's Artificial Academy 2.

COPY ERROR MESSAGES WITH CTRL+C, PASTE THEM WITH CTRL+V INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE. JUST CLICK THE WINDOW AND PRESS CTRL + C, IT WORKS.

>Downloads:
/aa2g/ Pre-Installed Game, AA2Mini: https://tsukiyo.me/AAA/AA2MiniPPX.xml
AAUnlimited updates: https://github.com/aa2g/AA2Unlimited/releases

>Information:
AA2Mini Install Guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8Ap6CrmSNXRsKG9jsIMqHYuHM3Cfs5qE5nX6iIgfzLlcWnmiwzmOrp27ytEMX03lFNRR7U5UXJalA/pub
General FAQ:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200216045726/https://pastebin.com/bhrA6iGx
AAU Guide and Resources (Modules, Tans, Props, Poses, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17qb1X0oOdMKU4OIDp8AfFdLtl5y_4jeOOQfPQ2F-PKQ/edit#gid=0

>Character Cards [Database], now with a list of every NonOC in the megas:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1niC6g-Xd2a2yaY98NBFdAXnURi4ly2-lKty69rkQbJ0/edit#gid=2085826690
https://db.bepis.moe/aa2/

>Mods & More:
Mods for AAU/AA2Mini (ppx format, the mediafire has everything):
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/vwrmdohus4vhh/Mods
/aa2g/ Modding Reference Guide (Slot lists for Hair/Clothes/Faces, List Guides, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gwmoVpKuSuF0PtEPLEB17eK_dexPaKU106ShZEpBLhg/edit#gid=1751233129
Booru: https://aau.booru.org

>HELP! I have a Nvidia card and my game crashes on startup!
Try the dgVoodoo option in the new win10fix settings.
Alternative: Update your AAU and see if it happens again. If so, disable win10fix, enable wined3d and software vertex processing.
>HELP! Required Windows 11 update broke things!
winkey+R -> ms-settings:developers -> Terminal=Windows Console Host

Previous Thread:
>>>/vg/449160740

My one friend always wants to hang out, but I want to be alone most of the time and focus on what I like doing. How do I communicate that I just want to be alone most of the time?

>>22601104
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT2gNmmQKjY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WRB0usJnew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlrQsDd0bLQ

>>22601114
"I just want to be alone"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwBo9Y2sQns

Why are women so cruel /lit/bros

>>22600525
if you never see her again then you might as well confess

>>22600525
>She'll be gone in a week
Dude, I hope you've fucked her by now. Otherwise, you should now.

>>22600567
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Distortion

I'm tired of people in ways you cannot even imagine. I see the point in having friends and I can maintain a facade for a long time but by the end of the week I just want to quit everything. I've been alone and friends with a lot of people many times so I know I'd feel nothing but contentment from having more time for myself if they all left. And maybe mildly annoyed because having friends can be convenient sometimes.

If having many friends and building villages together is the whole gig of humans then I why am I like this? I hate having to force myself for everything.

I wish that my grandparents would quit being so secretive about the amount of money that they have in the bank to pass onto us when they die so that I could accurately plan my life path according to it. Several years back they sold a large amount of land and shares that they had in a biotech company that my great uncle had founded and won’t tell anyone how much they made off of it. Their reasoning for this was that it should stop the depraved will vulturing that happens when in these kinds of scenarios with the family trying to earn those last few brownie points before they kick the bucket which appears to be quite soon. Already they have built 15 or so $500,000 dollar houses on the land they’ve sold and said biotech company sold for BILLIONS when it sold. No one in my family is particularly stupid so all the usual vulturing has been going on with my uncle’s wife being foremost in this endeavor trying to make sure she gets her name written down with a dollar sign next to it. I have refused to play this retarded game and still visit them when work allows it here and there but it would be really nice to have a rough figure for the amount that will pass to my side of the family as I’ve hit a crucial fork in the road where it’s time for me to get serious about either my professional life or artistic/philosophical endeavors. It’s not greed which I feel but rather nervousness at choosing the wrong one and wasting several years of my life in either direction only for my professional life to be invalidated by a hefty windfall or my philosophical journey to be stopped by the lack of said windfall. My parents seem to be trying to push me in the direction of returning to college to study something that I genuinely enjoy signifying that they expect to be taken care of but it would just be nice to have some certainty. I wouldn’t be mad if we didn’t get a whole lot of money from the inheritance, I would be mad if my parents were trying to push me away from a high-earning profession only for said inheritance to be lacking leaving me a pauper for the rest of my life when I could have just as easily taken a higher earning career at the outset. My family has been desperately poor for as long as there have been records of it so I understand all the secrecy but it really is quite inconvenient for where I’m at in my life. I suppose i could always go back on the high earning career given that a hefty inheritance makes it worthless but then I would be wasting about 5-10 years of prime philosophical growth and ruining any chance I have of actually contributing to the academic world. Even if I got the money I would live the same way I live now as a miser but it would enable me to be able to pursue my passions and grind through graduate school and the intervening non-tenure track professorships before becoming a respected academic. Just wish I knew really. Luv me nan, ate me overthinkin nd passions. Simple as.

>>22601396
You are an absolute nigger. Just assume you won't get shit and plan your life as best as you can from that standpoint. Even if you benefit from a windfall it won't matter in the long-run because just from that message I can infer you have a nigger mentality and will waste all of that supposed money. Also, academics who have tenure are either incredibly lucky or well-connected, both things you won't be if you keep thinking people you don't care about owe you stuff.

>>22601445
Excellent analysis friendo. Did you want to speak a little on the virtues of the third reich for us as well? Like I said, it’s not a greed thing, I am 100% okay with receiving absolutely nothing. This is a scheduling issue

>>22601455
You are calling it a scheduling issue but it's a nigger issue. If you are fine with not receiving anything then get a fucking job

Inferiority complex is real today, lads.

>>22601464
Then what happens when I get 8 years down the line in said profession and I get the windfall and then the profession that I’ve dedicated my life to is absolutely worthless and I’ve already passed the crucial window to be a respected academic? What will I have to do with my time then? Drink?

>>22601548
Then you deal with it like everyone else? If you can't see yourself dealing with that circumstance in a meaningful way, how would you be a worthwhile academic in the first place? I wouldn't want to be lectured by some whiny retard who couldn't cope with foundational suffering.

>>22601571
It’s not that I wouldn’t be able to deal with it, it’s why deal with it when I could make the right decisions now and not have to. You’re making a lot of assumptions about my character and you can believe them if you want but what do I gain out of lying about my aspirations to a literally who?

>>22600762
Can anyone correct me if i'm wrong, but isnt this fear and realization exactly what prompted the Buddha to seek enlightenment?

Killing myself feels inadequate. I wish there was never anything there to kill.

>>22601628
Ya, I just feel awful today

Decided to start being entirely myself when talking to qts and it's working much better than I could've reasonably expected. You son of a bitch, Anon, you were right.

gf sends me nudes but she's terrible at taking pics which leaves me disappointed

>>22601912
you should buy her a selfie stick for her fanny and anus, anon, i bet she'd love this for crystalnacht.

>>22597873
Looks are many things
>height
>hair
>nose
>eyes
>ears
>chin
>forehead
>cheekbones
>HAIR
>neck
>fitness
And more. Eyes are some of the least important features assuming they aren't deformed
from experience, most important is height + hair + fitness

Ok so conscious experience is inside the brain and just based on matter but the matter creates this experience so question is, where is this experience? It will at least exist in a weird kind of meta space. So meta spaces are real in a sense. And also... Why would anyone doubt that artificial consciousness could happen if your brain is just matter

>>22601954
idk feels forced

>>22601114
You just have to come right out and say it. Be respectful, and tell him that excessive pressure dilutes the friendship. Also, that is amazing, even for a cat.

Does anyone have recommendations on what version I should get if I want to get the works of Shakespeare? I'm open to getting the complete works, but really I just want Hamlet, King Lear, and a few other of the more popular ones.

>>22597830
the downside of "losing the compulsion to drink" as they say in AA is that in situations where i would normally have thought "i want a drink" i now automatically default to "i want to kill myself"

>>22602111
Stuff like Shakespeare and Dickens are almost reference books. They are good to have around for when the need arises. I would lean towards more rather than less.

I genuinely think less of people when I find out they are materialists and atheists.

It's nuts how much grievance liberals and progressives take with the world that they built. it's actually quite alarming when you realize they not only don't get these contradictions but also that they blame people who haven't had any power at all for holding them back from achieving utopia. The mask is starting to slip off and soon leftists and liberals of all varieties are going to be advocating for the outright extermination of people with traditionalist sympathies.

>>22602126
I do too, and it's only partly a gut reaction. I don't see how a person of even average intelligence could accept materialism and atheism with conviction. Skepticism? Perhaps. Materialism? No. You have to be an actual retard.

>>22601114
What's wrong with honesty?
"Thanks but I don't feel like doing that tonight."
"You're a good friend and I like hanging out with you, but I would rather be alone right now."

The world is going to be different in the year 2100.

>>22602116
>AA
If I were an alcoholic, I would not trust them. Their regional headquarters is co-located in a shopping center with a weird restaurant staffed by meth heads and literal retards - with an almost exclusively alcoholic clientele, a church that has people going in and out all hours of the night [including cops], a ''teen center'' financed by a gender bending weirdo, and just general weirdos constantly pulling in to the parking lot for hours at a time before leaving without ever getting out of their car. There is no way that these all accidentally coincided at the same shopping center.

>>22602126
I'm the same way with theists and agnostics who larp at spirituality but rely on science and empiricism in their every waking moment.

>>22602157
>regional headquarters
AA has no formal organization. that's probably a privately rented space that members are paying for out of their own pockets to have meetings in. every such space is different because, like i said, they're not part of an actual organization and are completely independent of each other

>>22600595
Too relatable.

>>22602123
That's probably a good idea. Are there any specific versions you'd recommend I get? Preferably hardback

>>22602173
However their cellular structure works. The whole place creeps me out. The AA office and the almost formally alcoholic restaurant next to each other paints a picture.

>>22602208
I got given crappy paperbacks, so I lost the fire to go hardback, though that is my natural inclination. As a sidenote, a lot of Germans like Shakespeare because the grammar, and even some of the vocabulary, is more natural to them than modern English.

There’s this Sci-Fi book I want to make into an animated series, but I’m not sure if it should be animated.

>>22597830
Women at ASU and UoA (hottest woman party schools of the USA) are unapproachable

Do you think the world ended after World War 2? It's hard to make sense of the timeline given that the combined powers of Germany and Italy lost, despite their insane ideologies. I've been thinking about this a lot recently combined with the thinking of Oswald Spengler and Jacques Ellul.

>>22602342
You don't go to either do you? If so, you should transfer.

>>22602364
What America tried to do was somewhat tragic actually. It inherited the world and forced European powers to unwind their empires. It could've spun up into a naval empire that would've made the British Empire look like a pittance. Instead, it set up a world order, where security was guaranteed if you played by the rules, where commerce and free trade was encouraged for the good of all, where technology, which was seen as only good at the time, would be accelerated and delivered all over the world. But it couldn't contain the bad actors. Corporations jockeyed for power, money in general came to the forefront, the technological wish turned out to be something of a nightmare, and the same people whom it helped to liberate it, ended up using it like an attack dog.

>>22602364
>It's hard to make sense of the timeline
>after World War 2
There is no after WW2. There is no peace treaty with Germany. The War Powers Act was never repealed and is still in effect. Does the timeline make sense now?

I wish I knew how to be a bit wilder, a bit more of a "bad boy".

>>22602387
start dressing like one. it's easier to act like something you're not when you look the part

>>22602126
>>22602133
You guys just made me remember a chick at work told me theists were "backward", which in my language means retarded. a 32 years old chick with no kids, a bodycount of 100+ and who never had a stable relationship in her life thinks herself better than theists. it was at this point that I realized everyone thought themselves better than others, even literal fucking retards. why does the subject even matters? in the end everyone is always comparing themselves to each other and I'm tired of this shit. faggots are truly lesser though

Mr Sandusky you came to me
on a bicycle made for two,
you came to a halt just in front of my house
and exclaimed, "little boy, yoo hoo!"

I cried in the arms of my uncle and dad
who said I was being an uncooperative brat,
they said, "go with Sandusky, you've no reason to be sad;
he's a wealthy executive, that's that,"

So I put down my footballer cards and my toys
and began to apply my lipstick,
"you're taking all day, hey?
Oy Vey!" railed Sandusky,
"come suck on my prick!"

>>22597830
dubs and i fake a suicide attempt to go back to the mental hospital

>>22602416
Anon, just because two people say something doesn’t mean both said it for retarded reasons. She subscribed to a clearly retarded progressive belief system wherein her situation was somehow desirable and didn’t even know why. That people compare themselves and think themselves right is a given. The difference is that some people are actually right and others are not.

>>22602403
I’m a bit fat, builtfat but fat nonetheless, and now in my thirties so that might be difficult for me to do.

Lately, I feel like I should just try to dismiss the desire to be a writer, stop reading, stop writing, just forget about literature altogether.

dubs and I'm a bad friend

>>22602488
Don't give up

>>22602489
What did you do to warrant that? Or are you just bad in general

is there a chart for catholic books? i read st augustines confessions for a class that im in, and i found it really interesting and i want to learn more about catholicism

>>22602488
why?

>>22602493
I always have the feeling I'm a bad person to family and friends in general. Family it's for sure, I don't want to be one to friends as well. I told them to come home today to have a drink and then cancelled, that's why

>>22602511
I’ve just come around to a pessimistic view about reading, and especially about my writing aspirations. I’m just pessimistic all around to be honest.

>>22602513
It's okay to cancel plans, anon. I doubt you're as terrible as you think, try re-working your thought patterns a tad

How do you know if a problem you think you cant overcome is due to incel mindset or a legitimate issue
I guess life would be too easy if people knew. Fuck that's depressing but at the same time it makes me eager to solve the riddle just because I'm stubborn

>>22602514
what are your writing aspirations? I have some in regards to writing as well. I'm want to make a living out of it. It's hard, almost impossible I guess, but not impossible. I've been working on a novel for 2 years now and my plan is to send it to a national competition next year. If I get nothing out of it I'll send it to publishers while writing another and trying again.

>>22602520
Thanks, anon. I'm scared of ending like most adults I know who gave up friends in order to build a family - which are not that great tho. You're probably right and I should change the way I think, but how do I do that?

>>22602505
nvm i just found one, i think i just want to learn more about theology in general. i wonder if it would be weird to walk into a church and ask how to start with christianity since i was raised non-religious

>>22602534
Look up CBT/DBT worksheets unironically as it's easy to fall into certain patterns. Once you can spot them it's easier to write off unhelpful, doomer lines of thinking. Also, for some blood is thicker than water but for others the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

>>22602529
I don't know what problem you're having, but the nicely mindset is a dangerous one. Last year I threw away a great relationship just because she had a but more experience with sex than I had. I also compared myself to her ex all the time and thought nothing would be new to her since she already did it before. Silly stuff. I stoped reading incel forums and then realized how stupid I was. Thanks God I could get her back and things are working fine now, better than before for sure. I also tried to off myself because my genetics are bad and I'll forever be a beta etc. Call me whatever you want, but love is great when you're not afraid to get hurt/being made fun of.

>>22602542
>for some blood is thicker than water but for others the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
that seems profound, like in a hermetic way. I'll keep thinking about it. Also I'll try CBT for real this time. it's easy to dismiss any kind of help so you can consider yourself "above" fixing.

>>22602546
Incel mindset is more specifically referring to the many mental defects I have where I don't feel it's worth the trouble to live a normie life. Statistically there are people out there who are destined to not fit with society, if you think of it as a bell curve of desirable traits.

I don't read incel forums but I share their mindset where if things fail it's because I'm not good enough. Maybe i really am not good enough just like an incel might be legitimately too ugly for the population . Or maybe it's just a self fulfilling prophecy in trying to fail myself

>>22601396
Man, I HATE money vulturing. It's inevitable that it happens in every family, but I hate the scheming and under- handedness which always results.
A similar thing happened in my family with my grandma's will: my aunt accused my Dad of underhandedly trying to rewrite the will to favor him (& honestly maybe he was idk), and made a big stink.
People should just accept what they are given and not be such greedy shitheads.
I guess at least it makes for interesting drama, your post sounds like the plot to a t.v show

>>22602530
I just want to write stuff I think is good. Yes, I want to traditionally publish if I can, but mostly, I just want to write good literature. The last few years for me have been a real struggle because again, I’ve just grown so pessimistic. I hope you find a home for your novel though. There’s a good chance you are in a better position than I am, younger at least.

>>22602534
Could be worse. I gave up my friends for nothing, just sort of depression and isolation.

>>22602542
Personally, I find blood of the covenant hard to come by. Do you really have deep and serious bonds with other people in your life? It’s almost hard to imagine what that looks like today. Basically every relationship I’ve ever had with someone has been shallow.

>>22601396
They’re not telling you because they’ve spent every penny or plan to spend every penny. You can remember this post when you find out this was the case.

I got a degree in finance and got a job as a financial analyst. Now, when I’m bored, I just make spreadsheets of things. I can see how people who study literature go on to write stuff and that’s why they become good writers.

>>22602427
If this pervert interests you, then I can share some backstory that you may not be able to find elsewhere.
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-08-30-me-4925-story.html

>>22598736
That's heartbreaking. I'm very sorry anon

>>22602572
Not him, but my family came and raided the loot from my grandparents' house while they were still alive.

>>22602601
He should hedge his bets; hope for the best and treat them well, in hopes of a reward at the end. If they stiff him, he should desecrate their graves.

>>22599324
How is it that /lit/ manages to have and describe so very well every obscure and miscellanous thought process? I love you fags

>>22600126
The past is gone, a chapter now closed,
In the pages ahead, your story's composed. Learn from your stumbles, let wisdom be your guide,
And in time, this pain will surely subside.

In matters of the heart, redemption can be found,
A chance to heal, to mend the love that's bound.
So don't be too harsh, yourself you must forgive,
For a heart that seeks growth is a heart that will live

>>22600315
Are we the same person? Do you have OCD?

I finally understand that there is no such thing as a second chance in life. If you succeed at an attempt after failing previously, it is only nominally the same, not really a “second” chance. Entire worlds of experience and downstream interactions are gone that you would have had if you had succeeded at the first presentation of the opportunity. You are older and things are different. Then in other scenarios there’s never an alternate time to grasp the opportunity or achieve the objective.
I guess I’m just now reaping the consequences of never caring about temporally-constrained meetings and events, always just going my own pace and doing things whenever I feel like it. You end up missing a lot of life this way. There is an entire industry dedicated to getting people to being in the same place at the same time and I thought that somehow things would just come to me unbidden.

>>22600354
Yeah man fo'get bout it no worries. You're either paranoid, or you're going to be the curly headed fuck for some other poor bastard at some point. You just need to listen to some Diana Ross and just make a move

>>22602720
You don't know shit until the very end. You are just rationalizing the fact you are going up. Stop being such a pussy

>>22600525
Do it, you absolute fool. You are going to regret this on your deathbed, the pain of embarassment is lesser than the pain of regret. But just be sure to mention that you are aware that love letters are gay as fuck. Also, the delivery must be innocuous, you should slip it into her baggage or give her something locked with a keypad and a password you will provide after she left

Lately I've been feeling like one of those desk toys that fill up with water then dump it out ceaselessly. It's with feeling lonely, and my attempts at making the toy stay filled halfway are useless. I'm okay with being by myself, but I want to feel loved, and when I am feeling loved it somehow isn't the way I want, or I don't want to give it back. Seeing the girl's story who I've been seeing filled with her friends made me very envious. I wished I could be with a couple close people on a Saturday enjoying eachother. Even if I weren't working I'd just be alone in my apartment. Distracting myself with music or knowledge and writing. Followed by drinking at a party or bar by myself, only to be told I look like a school shooter, or that I in fact, do look like a philosophy major. I'm grateful for my one friend though, but I want to be successful in society.

>>22599523
Thanks!

I feel fucking stupid all the time. I just want to be as witty as Nick Mullen

>>22601339
Social groups aren't what they used to be. Don't blame yourself, don't feel like there's something wrong with you, you have the hardware for a stable and tight knit community with which you have grown up with and are helping each other survive and build things. In the modern world, that is very, very rare

>>22602734
Leave my bro alone, he actually has some very good points. Sometimes there really is just a place and a time for some things

I'm a psychiatric outpatient in treatment for schizoaffective disorder, and I don't know how much farther I can "recover". I feel as though I have stagnated for some time, and I don't want to pass my life in a state of total disability. I am not even sure that it is my psychiatric condition anymore. I may just lack discipline. I feel like I have been lazy for so long that I have lost all sense of why.

>>22597830
dubs and i ACTUALLY kill myself

>>22602777
>I am not even sure that it is my psychiatric condition
Even if it is, telling yourself that you are where you are because of a condition won't help you.
Ive known people who do that and they rarely make any progress or take responsibility cause they just blame all their life failures on their "condition"

>>22602633
hot damn, what a time to be alive!

>>22602805
ty

>>22602711
I wasn't describing myself but my father though we are very similar.
I may be OCD. I go through obsessive phases either with certain ideas or often feel unclean no matter what

>>22602661
Cause /lit/ contains some of the planet's most neurotic wrecks. This place is basically a digital asylum

>>22602806
I lived right down the street from him. Dude was fucking nuts. The people that played the ''he was so gentle'' card were drowned out by people that were more honest. My friend's brother had him for a class. The professor did not even teach. He would greet the class, then put on his headphones and listen to the Sex Pistols at full volume until the class was over.

Why are these cunts so obsessed with sunscreen?

>>22602798
you were close

>>22602880
>The professor did not even teach. He would greet the class, then put on his headphones and listen to the Sex Pistols at full volume until the class was over.
Hello based department?

>>22602953
Dude had no grass or shrubs. A TV reporter asked his next door neighbor what he thought about Franc. He told them that Franc's yard said everything. He said that he had always expected this sort of thing from him. He had paved his yard with bricks and brick sculptures in the shape of shrubs. Did you see how he got caught?

>>22600126
What did you do to her?

New thread >>22603021

>>22602986
i'd never even heard of that; weird story.. a professor of administration, his pal mr. provost, a bloody chain saw and a decapitated punk rocker being strewn across the highway

>>22603048
Yeah, hundreds of miles of body parts, but how'd he get caught?

>>22603064
he probably submitted his story to david lynch and lynch turned him in.

>>22603067
Instead of buying a saw at the hardware store like any self-respecting murderer, he rented one, and he returned it to Acorn Rental - covered in blood, with little chunks of murder victim lodged in it.
https://www.bizapedia.com/ca/acorn-equipment-rental.html

>>22597870
For its own sake--the advent of AI has not diminished the fulfillment one gets from it

>>22599039
You have to press the envelope on deeper topics. It will be awkward at first but with time it will become more natural for both of you.

ive gone and written myself into a plothole. the question im faced with is "if the job was so important why entrust it to some low level mercs" and im at a bit of a road block now trying to answer it.

im thinking of saying "because wealthier organized merc companies or government contractors could easily find out whats going on and exploit the situation, and it would be too high profile" whereas a few literally who nobodies wouldn't have resources or know-how to exploit a scientist, and they could be killed after and it would be low profile


but then who the hell would be the bad guys hunting my main characters and wouldn't they be sent in the first place? could i really write it off as "theyre more desperate now?" i dont know about that, seems flimsy

if I cant think of something its going to suck having to rewrite the entire original premise.

>>22603352

"They were supposed to be the fucking best! I fucking paid them to get the job done, and they failed. For that, they will receive due compensation. In hell!"

im planning to read most of the major works of philosophy soon starting with the greeks. from what i noticed it seems stoicism is really popular, so will i end up a stoic in the end or is there a "better" philosophy ? is stoicism just cope ?

Recently I've been watching some sci-fi movie about the future. The entire planet, or most of it, seems to have sunk into the ocean. People live in tiny communities made of floating piles of dirt called the 'atolls'. There's mutants and pirates going around, destroying shit. Fertility rates are low, and there seems to be fewer and fewer atolls every year.
I think it gives an accurate description of what life will look like in a few decades.

>>22603676
Why is coping bad?

Had a big argument with my brother. He tried to say I was at fault for our other brother dying of an overdose and that I'm the "golden boy" because our dad still supports me wheras he has been cut off. I told him that he's a crazy drug addict who introduced drugs to our now deceased brother. He then threatened to kill himself and i said he should just go ahead so I can get on with my life. Sounds a little harsh, I know, but he often uses suicide threats to get attention. He always wallows in self pity and demands constant attention and validation. I figured he needed a dose of reality. It sucks but it's the truth and the truth is good. My conscience is clean. His is not.

>>22597830
An Observation of National Animals

Life should be flippant and impolite, light and crisp like the dried leaf lying on the ground, waiting to be shattered.. To fullfill this life of innocence unbound by its pure simplicity is the dream of every saint and villain, of every conqueror and hermit. This noble way, which is not wrapped in sentimental brooding nor governed by hedonistic utility, is embodied by the best of the french and their symbol the Cock. The Rooster is of course the proudest amongst all of God’s creatures but with its dangling wattle and comical stupidity its also his silliest. To choose such a creature as your sigil is a sign of great pride and greater joy, it is the noble way to maintain great pride but never to allow such righteous feeling to overwhelm man's most prized faculty, good humor. Noble is the man who recognizes courage and honor go hand in hand with naivete and forgetfulness. It is the sort of sincerity which only innocence can buy that the cock represents and which is impossible for the vast majority of men, myself included.

Proof enough for my theory can be found amongst the “developing” nations, societies who did not naturally form as nation states but upon whom this structure was imposed and as a result are always compensating for their shaky sense of identity would never identify themselves with a creature like the cock, every african national team has leapord stripes eagle feathers and lion manes embossed on their kits, (men who would be best compared to the fleet footed gazelle confidently wearing leopard stripes like tween girl) I am sure that if the apartheid government had not already enshrined the springbok every rand would be emblazoned by a lion eating an ak 47. This syndrome exists not only for the africans but also for supposedly ancient civilizations (which are really just colonial products held together with guns and a fair bit of glue), India a nation home to a multitude of already deified creatures has for its animal the “Magnificent Tiger” what a shame. This is only one metric for which to judge the moral development of a people but it is one that I think has greater weight than many would give it credit, symbols are powerful and nations whose symbols lack nuance or character are not really nations at all but pale imitations,

>>22605952
This is the disaster that good old ben had hoped to prevent when he advocated the magnificent turkey as our peoples symbol, but sadly for our infant nation the masculine fervor of the bald eagle was to compelling. The eagle while obviously majestic is just that, obviously majestic, if you let a toddler pick he probably would have gone with the bald eagle. By the grace of God though, perhaps a product of our development as a people, Franklin has won the spiritual victory with great help from Lincoln and Rockwell’s Freedom from Want (there's two names you should never put together, thankfully Georgie was always firmly on the eagles side). the turkey as the center piece of the thanksgiving feast has found its way not only into the american stomach but the american heart, the turkey fulfilling a far greater role than the Eagle, both as sustenance and symbol, (afterall you are what you eat) represents for an alienated america homecoming and the perpetual circle of life, , while the the Eagle who most americans will never see outside a zoo much less on their dinner table has been relegated to facebook memes, ironic T shirts and the photoshop art of uniornic “Mericuh'' americans.


Let us take a closer look at the turkeys significance as an actual object of consumption. of devouring. for a people to inoculate an animal they butcher and eat as their sacred representative takes a great deal of subconscious self awareness and regard for the cycle of life. An enlightening fact for some christians might be that until the Time of our lords coming the Israelites, although they were led by shepherds and called themselves the lord’s chosen flock identified themselves as a people not with the lamb but the lion. The lion of Judah was eventually superceded by the christian lamb because it was in fact a remnant of a people desperate for strength surrounded by enemies on all sides not suited for a developed people with a cogent identity and self awareness. Once imbued with this firm self awareness after the solidification of Israelites as the predominant people of Palestine it was only natural to take on a new spiritual representative, the jewish people at the birth of Christ were ripe for change. Turkey Lamb and of course Cock were all staple meals of their respective nations. This deification of the staple animal seems to me to be a natural outcome for high cultures. It is for this reason alone that the steppe identification with the horse is a matter of high culture.

>>22605953

I have been in my agrandizing of the french Cock neglectful to the other european symbols who would perhaps go against my rule. The Italian wolf you say? What is more childish than a wolf, the favourite animal of all little boys? Well the addition of large nipples and nursing children makes the italians symbol perhaps the most nuanced of them all. The German eagle? The eagle is suitable for nations of imperial station, ridiculous when worn by albanians its perfectly at home with the germans. The russian Bear? Sorry I thought we were discussing europeans. The English lion? This is a hard one afterall I spent the better part of this essay shitting on the lion, but one must contextualize the english lion, In the british imagination the isles are faery lands. The welsh are dragons the scots unicorn and the english lions, It must be understood that to the average English man the unicorn or even dragon was just as real as the lion. The lion actually fits snugly into this british tradition as another mostly imaginary beast.

wrote this essay on a french tour bus this summer, still trying to figure out how to end it. any suggestions

>>22600203
>>22602707
Beautiful. Thank you.
>>22603026
I left her when she was at her worst socially speaking and at her most isolated with no real friends and a terrible family because she was a bit unstable and actively trying to start serious problems with people I was close with due to a questionable personal vendetta. Didn't even give her the courtesy of a phone call, just left a letter and haven't said a word to her since. I kept worrying that if I stuck around in some capacity I'd just make matters worse, and retardedly judged that a harsh situation like that might cause her to change her behavior for the better, to not go on an unhinged rampage because you choose to live the life of an antagonistic outcast for no real reason other than a vague sense of anger at the world.
Truth be told, I wasn't doing too well for her sake either. I was on a bad streak of academic and personal failures, with no real bright future in sight, and kept wallowing in sloth and cowardice. She was always cheering me on to do the right thing, looking for any kind of realistic solution, and I wouldn't do it. She was so goddamn nice to me, genuinely so, that I couldn't grasp why she was willfully choosing to be awful with random people. I couldn't grasp her in general, even if I was trying hard, because I was blind. The best thing I can say about myself is I was always putting in the most possible effort in chasing away any malice or aggression with ill-intent, but on the flip side I was too apologetic all the time and too soft to face her straight on and list what felt wrong to me. Whenever we argued my biggest worry was always the possibility of causing some long term psychological harm to her, I saw as this very fragile precious little thing, which meant I was physically unable to be as upfront as I was with anybody else. Walking on eggshells. These aren't excuses, I'm just typing this all out because I've never said this to anyone.
I don't know, man. I don't know how she feels about me, don't know if she hates my guts or still has a tender spot, and I've been terrified of reaching out to be certain. I'm afraid of being a traumatic trigger for her the way I've seen other scarring figures of her past make her act, sending her on a way down. Another possible problem is enabling her vindicative tendencies and pushing her to go on a quest to hurt me back. Or maybe I'm just making up scenarios in my head to feel important as a cope when in reality she's thrown any memories associated with me in the dumpster. All I'm hoping for is bumping into her irl (she lives far away these days) and setting things straight face to face. Until then, my heart still aches like never before, three years later, every night. I've never felt this haunted by memories. And even still, we still might not be good for each other at all.
Thanks for reading.

I hate negros and women so much that it is unreal. Even the Jews; I miss their big teenage tits bouncing in my face, a little, but I no longer care about their big jiggly breasts. I hate the dark-skinned ones; they can kike harder than kikes sometimes; the old Whites in my neighborhood feel bad and give them money. They give me money, too; the negros, the jewish, and the old White people.

>>22605963
purple prose. Learn to read before you try to write, faggot