/lit/ - Literature

Started writing this and now hate it and myself. I don't know why I suck or what I'm doing wrong. It was supposed to have a bit of a twist ending where she decides not to give the letter after all, after seeing how happy her mom is now and how she treats her new kids and finding out that it was her old letters that got her through rehab and she kept them all. She resolves to face everything alone, without the money. But on the ride home discovers that the letter is gone, her mom took it and read it at some point, and in its place put the money and a note.

I thought it would be a nice touching story but it's nothing. I just don't seem to get any better.

https://pastebin.com/pth3X8iZ

>>22581850
it's more the story is similar overall to that one episode

It's not based off KOTH

>>22581922

The writing is very good anon. I do have to question the choice of using a terminal illness as a plot point. It feels "cheap" in a way because of that, or maybe because it's brought out too early in the story. It almost feels like somebody coming up to you and after exchanging two sentences about the weather, starts giving you their sob story.

Maybe start out with something from the distant past or the past generally, something that shows the relationship between this character and her mother, something nostalgic and get into the death sentence only later in the story.

>>22581922
I think you're being too harsh on yourself. What exactly do you think is bad about this? (Disclaimer: I probably wouldn't read more of this story because it doesn't suit my interests, but I regard this to be about as competent as mist published fiction on the market).

Where can I upload a pdf of my book?

>>22582103
catbox.moe

>>22581944
OK but I wouldn't introduce it to the publisher like that.

>>22582142
Fair enough

What about my question? Do you think it's better for them to get together or remain apart as friends?

>>22582158
I have no fucking clue bro. It's your story.

>>22582162
Hmmm

I like a romantic ending. So I think I'll go with them coming together at the end

Should I enter my burger story to Nanowrimi?

>>22582452
why bother? Your story is simple enough that AI can write it. Write something new and interesting like an isekai litrpg. Nobody is going to want to read a story about friends making a fucking burger.

>>22582452
Yes.

https://pastebin.com/Cq7fjewL
critique and thumbs up and down appreciated

>hm, this is an interesting idea that I just ha-
>it's already been done
how do you cope?

>>22583056
it hasn't been done by me

Here's some of my awful, angsty teenage poetry about just hating myself.

"Dusk"

The day grows old
and I find myself longing for the sunset,
There'll be no tranquility,
No serenity,
Until oblivion's well met

Fortune favors the bold
yet a coward I remain,
Struggling to find the courage,
But it always ends the same

Inner peace is hard to find,
Amid the turmoil and stife,
When you're burdened by a troubled mind,
And a cursed life

So the day grows old,
The shadows grow long.
Seeking something I can't find,
Burdened by my wrongs
And a troubled mind.

>>22583071
you should post it in the poetry thread

>>22583056
it hasn't been done BETTER

>>22582945
What's your endgame with spamming this every thread? You've already gotten feedback. Are you baiting for someone to tell you it's great so you can ignore all the haters?

>>22583108
>why are you posting this thing while asking for critiques
idk anon, guess why

>>22583056
By studying Jung, archetypes, and the collective unconscious

>>22583112
>You've already gotten feedback.

>>22583119
link me the feedback

>>22583120
Look back at the first time you posted it.

>>22583124
yea thanks, now I want more feedback

>why are you posting writing your writing in the writing general
no wonder nobody posts anything here

It's been a long time since I shared my cyberpunk thriller novel here, barely had any time to market it. Right now I'm thinking about buying some ads on 4chan or elsewhere, but the thing is that I don't know how cost-efficient they'd be.

https://files.catbox.moe/7lhvdg.pdf

Any feedback is appreciated. It's also self-published on Kindle, so if you dig it you can support me by buying a paperback or a digital version of it. Cheers, anons.

>>22583145
>not on kindle unlimited
Was there a reason why? How much have you made so far?

>>22583127
>baiting for someone to tell you it's great so you can ignore all the haters
gotchya
>>22583131
>Please limit excerpts to one post.

>>22583152
>Was there a reason why?
Honestly, at the time when I was publishing it I didn't really bother to read more about the benefits of enrolling it into KDP Select. I'll probably do it, though.

>How much have you made so far?
0$ lol. Like I said, I barely had time to promote it throughout the internet (I was starting a new job at the time and had to focus on some more important stuff).

>>22583166
I would recommend you might not get people buying your book but you will get a lot of money if you are able to hook random kdp select readers, I know a lot of people rave against it but honestly it earns you money

>>22583158
>>Please limit excerpts to one post.
>hey I made up these rules so you HAVE to follow them
suck my pp

>>22583172
Thanks for the advice. By the way, do you think advertising on Amazon is worth it? I have a budget of around 50-100 dollars that I'm willing to spend, but from what I've read you generally need to have a more considerable amount of money to make it worthwhile.

>>22583198
idk, I've thought of advertising for while now but haven't released anything worth advertising
I'd say google/facebook would probably be the best bet since they have the biggest amount of info on potential customers. I would say the hardest part is figuring out which segment of the reading pop your book resonates most with and advertising directly to them.

>>22583206
I see. Thanks.

>>22583212
Also I hear good things about beta readers and they are pretty cheap

>>22582945
It's great, ignore all the haters
Now please don't post it again

>>22582945
nice gums

>>22583198
Not really. I had 4000 impressions and 4 clicks. No purchases, just clicks. Then again I have no clue what I'm doing

just wanted to say that writers are a dying breed and I believe in you. You will be one of the writers to revive our art, anon. I know you will write today and then write for the rest of the week.

>>22583311
>one of the writers
*the writer
None of these other fools are as good as me

>>22583282
nah I think I'm gonna keep posting it until that one anon finds the courage to ignore me

>Prison sentence got extended
Wonder how this will affect the writing

>>22583332
love the attitude, anon

Should I bother writing a YA fantasy? On the one hand it's saturated. On the other the bar is ankle-low and my competition are retards.

I was formulating a fanfic AU but it works as pure original too, so then I thought, why not just write it for the original market?

>>22582074
>What exactly do you think is bad about this?
See: >>22582027
I tried so damn hard to avoid exactly the tackiness this anon is talking about. The illness isn't the punchline of the story but the setup and it had to be dispensed with quickly so I could exploit the resulting dramatic irony, but I simply couldn't do it well enough, so it came out exactly the way that post describes it.

>>22581922
>I thought it would be a nice touching story
Well, from what you posted it seems to be heading that way. If this is all you've written then I'd say to keep on going with what you had planned.

>>22583292
gummy smiles are the best, I wish there was a way for me to replicate the act of seeing a beautiful woman in my writing but it seems like video/pics are always the way to go

>>22583463
You say that, but you still won't get published

>>22583463
if you enjoy it sure, I mean doing something for 2 months (maybe more) that you hate and look down on will ruin your will to write

>>22583463
Depends on how you're going to go about publishing it. Self-published, yeah go ahead. Traditional? That's a very heavy woman/lgbt space nowadays. If you're a man writing a heterosexual male protagonist it's essentially DOA. If you're writing a female protagonist your odds are better, but it'll still be an uphill struggle.

but they/them on your manuscript

>>22583337
>that one anon
based schizo

anons i just want to make a living writing, no matter the genre or topic. what should I do?

>>22583673
Get a job that pays

Caraca que isso meu mano!

>>22583673
the same you have to do in every other job that is not employment
you offer a product or service that people want/need or believe they need
don't try to sell vitamin pills, sell them painkillers
now apply that to writing

>>22583596
i can make the protags female

>>22583684
Sorry, I mean writing stories of some kind. Not being a copyeditor or writing articles or something like that

>>22583673
Achieve some small success in screenwriting and then make your own training/consulting program and charge people thousands to attend.

>>22583724
overnight security guard

>>22581922
I think that you're attempting to cram everything that you came up with so far straight into the beginning of the story. A lot of the stuff that Charly is thinking about is acting as exposition rather than it being shown elsewhere. I would rather see Charly ask nice sounding questions about her mother's rehab, marriage, life or relationship with her step children at dinner while Charly is internally revealing that she only wants to know those things in the hopes that her twisted thoughts come into reality for her own gratification. That's called duplicity, but I didn't have to tell you that since you could probably infer what I was alluding to, you similarly don't have to tell me that she feels/is duplicitous. Why not start with just mentioning that Charly wants to write the letter more as a "fuck you" then not because of her own condition, and then go from there? That implicitly tells the reader that she dislikes her mother in some capacity and leaves the rest of the story open as to what that entails and why. It's also quite obvious that if you were to continue to write you would have arrived at some sort of conflict: Whether it's Charly and her mother fighting, thus proving her right for a time until she's ultimately proven wrong or Charly being proven wrong from the dinner itself all the way to the end. Whether Charly is bad or her mother is bad but she turned a new leaf or she's bad but ultimately loves her daughter, that would have to play out whether you'd rather tell me about it at the start or not.
On a separate but related note, her being terminally ill isn't something that you have to say (at the start). Both because it can be implied with the right hints or context, but also because there's a really big payoff in the reader arriving at the conclusion that Charly hates her mother so much that she'd rather die than essentially give her mother the chance to prove her wrong (over not having sent the letter) or that despite their relationship being so antagonistic that her mother still loves her (Charly was right to dislike her mother, but clearly she should rethink and reexamine why that is). Remember, you still have the whole rest of the story to build up on that.
Hopefully that gives you enough to think about that you're able to have a breakthrough in regards to improving. Most of the block that you were implying, over where the story is going, is mostly in your head and not on what you've actually committed into paper.

>>22583673
the smart people realize there is no real money in writing stories anymore, the dumb people write for decades and establish a steady income stream through constant creation and ideation

>>22583972
it used to be that if you could write extremely quickly and consistently, shit out a readable novel once a month, you could make bank. AI changes all that, though.

>>22584003
nah, TV and video games decimated novels. Now we're at the outer shell of what used to be a good thing.
AI hasn't changed anything

>Too tired when off-shift to write
The last ship I worked on didn't even have proper tables in the cabins to sit down normally at. It's over.

>>22584008
"decimated novels" not really at all
the leading modern romance and fantasy novelists who strongly prioritize quantity over quality (danielle steel, sanderson, etc.) have net worths around half a billion dollars without adaptations, just selling books in airports and on amazon
you wouldn't accomplish that, but you could consistently build wealth by slavishly following trends, ignoring quality, and pumping out volume
AI definitely changes all that

>>22584027
>changes
come back when that changes turns into changed
and yes video games and tv shows have led to a massive decrease in sales of books, its not even an argument

>>22584043
>and yes video games and tv shows have led to a massive decrease in sales of books, its not even an argument
yeah, 50 years ago. The market has adapted and found niches that are still decently profitable.

>>22584057
50 years ago TV shows weren't available at your fingertip and games weren't a thing, you didn't have anime or kpop or whatever new thing young people get into, if you wanted to talk to someone you had to call them and hope they were at home.

boys you think it's worth reworking some gay shit i wrote in my early teens? it was a fanfic that really blew up, despite being, like, horribly written, but i've given it some work and it's kinda good. or at least has the potential to be good. esp since gay shit and sex work (interviewed porn stars @ 15 for this) is big right now, maybe it would take off.

At what point should I start querying? It's finished I'm just doing revisions now. Should I only start when it's finish-finished? Or what

>>22584090
start preparing your query and then get some beta readers if you want to beforehand
much less embarrassing for some random guy to tell you of a misspelling in your first chapter than an agent

>>22584090
Yes, you should be finished with your current draft just in case you get an agent that's really into it and quickly asks for the full manuscript. You don't want to be that guy who gets a full request and goes like, "Okay, but can you give me a few weeks to put the finishing touches?" You can always make more edits in between query batches.

>>22584074
You were simply ahead of the curve, peter puffer.

>>22583881
This is great stuff. I've decided to shelve this story for now, and work on something else, but I've saved your suggestions for later.

The thing I was most stuck on was the dinner scene/conversation and I really, really like your suggestion (in fact, I will probably start in medias of the dinner instead of the train ride). The place where I draw the line, though, is omitting the explicit mention of her illness. I see that as the setup of this story and I want the reader to know that up front. But I see now how to turn it--I can exploit the expectations of a "last supper" by initially omitting Charly's true motivations, and then reveal them during the dinner, as per your suggestion. Then every innocuous question and comment gets laden with meaning (including her mom gushing about Charly's accomplishments--all moot now that she's dying, even though she sacrificed her youth to achieve them, by her mother's abusive coercion).

I guess the thing I'm stuck on now (and why I'm shelving this) is somehow convincing the reader that not telling her mother about her illness is a less abominable act than telling her, or at least convincing them that Charly would think so. Being a parent myself, I know how unbelievably cruel it would be but I don't want Charly to do it out of spite. I want it to be a redemptive act for her. The best I can come up with for now is that she decides to write a new letter, to be sent after her death (which she has decided to face alone) that honestly expresses forgiveness, apology, and reconciliation (and maybe the other letter was completely damning, in contrast) and that's the moment when she discovers the money.

Hello, I am looking for a platform to write on political topics without getting cencored. What would be your suggestions?

>>22584229
I can give you some perspective on whether or not staying quiet about a terminal illness to family is abominable. Norm MacDonald was a comedian that died of cancer not too long ago and he never told anyone about it. In interviews and in some bits he thought that it was narcissistic to expose people to that sort of thing and that he'd rather just die than to garner pity and have everyone suffer from it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWpRCN46mi8
I think that there's a lot of reasons for her not to to give the letter to her mom, whether it's anxiety, her punishing herself, her wanting her mother to worry deep down or the aforementioned relationship not being great. I wouldn't say that it's completely abominable for her to hesitate and then resolve herself only for it to have unknowingly happened. Even if she doesn't want to tell her mother in the end and was simply venting in writing, I don't think it's abominable so long as there's a good explanation for why she chose that initially.

>>22584300
Just write pro-leftist shit, nobody will censor you.

>>22583145
> The lights of the imposing skyscrapers furiously peeped through the impenetrable, filled with indomitable vice rainy black- ness. The suppressed din of never-receding distorted music and en- vironmental blank noise coming from the centre of Orton City was always present during the night hours, the live clamour never dying. The moon was futilely trying to make its way through the unyielding veil but was entirely shadowed out by the semi-dark clouds that were accompanied by an almost non-existent array of smoke hinting of a tamed over-industrialized feverish world.

Read just a couple of pages. IMHO, it's over-written, overly-descriptive, trying too hard. I would start by cutting out 50% of the words and seeing what you get from that.

>>22583465
>had to be dispensed with quickly

"quickly" is relative. there is no hurry. take your time. what are you writing, microfiction or something? if you are doing a short story of say 10k words, you should have plenty of time to work up to the appropriate point to drop that kind of info.

last line of a rejection letter i got from a small publisher:
>We do hope you'll keep us in mind for future projects—we found a lot to admire in [Title] and would love to see more from you during future submissions periods!
is this sincere or are they just being nice? and if it's sincere is it out of practice to politely ask for brief feedback? this is a novel

>>22584391
Probably sincere since if they hate it they would never have replied. You can absolutely ask for feedback just don't expect a response.

>>22584374
>I hate the thing it is and you should change to be the thing I would write instead
when will /wg/ stop giving advice like this
try to meet the author at his intentions and give him advice for achieving the effect he's trying to achieve rather than just point out that he failed and suggest he abandon it entirely. It's useless feedback.

>>22584489
>the thing I would write instead
the thing I would want to read*

>>22584493
>the thing I want to read is NOT the thing I want to write
then what the fuck are you writing

>>22584493
>I'm not the audience for this and you should change it to be something I am the audience for
still useless

Instead of trying to write smartest most beautiful special prose in existence using amazing intelligent finest words plucked straight from a thesaurus, why don't you just get to the fucking point?

Why don't you just tell the people reading your shit what you want to tell them?

>>22584512
I mean you can have both david foster wallace and hemingway writing books, neither are correct

>>22584512
>just get to the fucking point
you need to go back

>>22584512
I'm quite good at getting to the point. Sometimes "the point" isn't what the reader needs.

>read trash, watch youtube, stare at ceiling all day
>30 minutes before i can no longer resist sleep
I AM INSPIRED AND READY TO WRITE

>>22584528
>>22584587
maybe as a defense mechanism related to depression and anxiety, i had slowly learned to deconstruct everything and/or be apathetic by default
now i have to relearn to look at things in a novel way so i can write half decent

>>22584633
Are you male or female?

>>22584477
>if they hate it they would never have replied
this was an open period where they said they'd respond to every submission, so a little different, but i'm sure they use a cookie-cutter response for the majority (this is the first rejection i've gotten that has been even remotely personalized), so i think i'll just ask, thanks

>>22584637
man. and i have CONQUERED these things, but at what cost?

the modern reader wants "just get to the fucking point" more than anything and despises text with any ambition other than to convey plot like fast food conveys salt.

>>22584629
My inspiration tends to come in the seconds just before I fall asleep. It keeps me awake and I can no longer rest until I clamber out of bed and write it down. I did this three times last night, no wonder my sleep schedule is fucked.

my favorite example of the modern GET TO THE POINT is representing character growth with videogame stats.
thank you for distilling my reading material to a pure form of dopamine, i almost had to use brain

>>22584587
Maybe readers isn't what your beautiful prose needs.

>>22584648
>text with any ambition
Read Fight Club to learn what good prose is while getting to the fucking point.

>>22584691
the energetic punchy style works great when you're writing about punks and lowlifes
the modern reader can't even stand that. You're underestimating the kind of prose they read. Also you're overestimating how much Fight Club "gets to the point"

>>22584687
Anon, I get to the point.
I have little care about the quality of my prose, to the point of intentionally using poor grammar and creative spelling errors to create the effect I intend.
If my prose is beautiful, it's secondary to the kill.

i think fight club is underrated.

Are any of you studying writing in a degree program?

>>22584762
It got a movie just 2 years after release, I think it was appreciated enough.

>>22584786
i mean in the pseud community

>>22581922
You have to understand that sometimes we fuck up the ending. Even the big ones can finish a story alright but it still can feel like 'meh, could be worse, not bad'

If it's interesting, they'll read it. The problem is, most stuff isn't.

>>22584994
This is underrated advice.

>>22584994
That too, although it depends on what the writer even expects of their work, also when publishing or just dumping it somewhere.

>>22584229
>write a new letter

To be honest I don't like the idea of a letter. Whatever has to be said should be said face-to-face so there is a possibility of confrontation or drama. By putting it in a letter it just feels like a cop out.

>>22584994
One of your pointless shitposts may be the most interesting things ever to a future historian with limited access to our period.
This points to the reason why your shit isn't interesting to people now. You're the same as them.

thinking of going to a bar at night to write, how good/bad of an idea is this

I fucked ur wife lol

>>22585073
which one?

Hey when do I get my phone call with Travis baby?

>>22585067
at a bar? terrible. coffee shop? won't be a weirdo at least

>>22585067
Depends on the bar, of course if you into something that's almost a rave it's not going to be very helpful, if you are going to write on paper then atleast make sure to bring something stable to write and that it has proper lighting.

>>22585140
yea but everythings closed at night except for bars and sometimes I just need to go out to write

>>22585147
Then go for it.

>>22585147
24hr diner?

>>22585360
there are none near me but are 24 hour diners even a thing anymore after covid? Not even walmart is 24 hrs anymore

>>22585369
Waffle House?

>>22585369
IHOP? Denny's?

>>22584090
You should start to pursue getting an agent five years after you start thinking you need one.

Well call me the shapeshifter

Any advice for finding motivation for writing as a person who may have developed schizophrenia.

>>22586182
I'd be asking myself if I have no motivation to write a particular character why is that character in my story.

>>22584090
ill read your book

I am writing erotica for food money. How do I make it less formulaic? Do people reading smut even care enough to complain?

>>22586629
write the most distrusting depraved gay furry shit
for some reason those people are fucking LOADED

>>22586659
There are limits (especially for the animal stuff) if you want to put it for sale as an ebook but yes I will write depraved shit

>>22586659
does anyone know a platform to post those stories?

i want to write stuff but i dont want to use a computer and type writers are expensive, how do i organize my writing? just buy multiple notebooks? if i use loose papers do i just put them all in folders?

If I copy pasted passages from books and authors I liked, would it ultimately help in developing a writing style similar to theirs?

>>22586701
probably, yeah.

>>22586701
paste one or two in here

>>22586701
>>22586722
oh wait, i take it back.
i misunderstood.
copy and pasting wont do shit.
you have to rewrite it word by word.

>>22586685
anyone? i know its simple shit im asking but any pointers whatsoever can only help, i just want to write like the people of old, i have no clue as to how to organize papers besides folders and portfolios but it cant be that simple for entire manuscripts, right?

>>22586727
that's not true

>>22586748
did you not go to school?

>>22586750
it's definitely more effective than copy and pasting.
re-reading is worth something, but two clicks and a mouse drag is worth nothing at all.
the best way is to get the rhythms in your head. it's imitation.

>>22586754
consider that art is iterative, and most authors draw inspiration from reading
not rewriting other's books

unless your goal is essentially to plagiarize, than sure. have at it

>>22586756
just because one thing also works doesnt mean it works better objectively.
some writers might not even read.

>>22586757
everything draws inspiration from somewhere. you might as well know where from.

>>22586760
>some writers might not even read
lol
lmao

>>22586766
it's not impossible.

i'd also like to point out that by reading something you are in some ways re-writing the text in your own mind.
it's the same thing as writing it out, but in writing it out you put more thought and consideration to the individual parts.

>>22586753
so if my writing surpasses one notebook what the fuck then, are there books where i can just keep adding papers? can i get custom covers?

>>22586768
it errs on the side of impossible
if you are an aspiring writer, start reading NOW. read with writing in mind. you can 'catch up'. but, you literally have no choice.
even if you are fine pedaling smut, you are still at a massive disadvantage.
please dont fucking kid yourself
this is not up for debate, i will fucking smite you down i tell i hwhat

>>22586772
you can buy looseleaf lined, you can use a binder..
i think youre losing your mind

>>22586778
youre just too proud.
loser.

>>22586783
IM TOO PROUD!?
im suggesting you read like every writer on earth, and you are telling me you dont need that
fucking child

>>22586786
you dont know every writer on earth.
i only said it was possible.
some people learn in different ways.

>>22586778
you can write about anything without having read anything before, grammar might be shit but that doesnt matter if you have other priorities with your writing besides circlejerking with wordsmiths

>>22586790
sorry, i'm not going to help workout your fuckwit mental fallacies. good luck kiddo

>>22586792
even if you want to write litrpg you MUST read. non negotiable. stop coping

>>22586795
no one cares.

>>22586799
your mother cares, give her a call and tell her you won't be reading any books

>>22586797
wrong.
you may need to know how, or have read something, but there are plenty of readers who can't write as im sure there are plenty of capable writers who rarely read.
what makes a writer a writer? being published? or being capable of writing well?

yea im not spending any more time bullying an underage anon

>>22586808
you're retarded.
it's not bullying if i just feel bad for you and your pathetic cope.
where's your published work nerd?

Please rate/rape, /lit/bros, it's for a writing contest. Any good?

>only rule is all short stories must start with the line "It was the farthest north they had ever been."

>>22586872
this is cool, i think it works; however, the concept of.. the soldier who's expected to be at the front lines miraculously showing up with words of warning, is something i've read before, but i cant remember where. hopefully you didn't accidentally use something that's too familiar/iconic.

is this all of it? if that's the case, i would consider rewriting it; perhaps even hastily, with a different tone or style-- not suggesting you scrap this, but to experiment if you have time. no idea who your competition is, but it's not award winning and there are hints that you could do better.

>>22586934
Maybe it was Ashley from Gone With the Wind. Thanks for the critique anon, I'll wait and revisit it in 24 hours

>>22586872
I liked it

I tried to write something in a plain style of language and a different formatting for dialogue. I think it might be too plain though.

>>22586772
That's why most people shifted to typing, anon. Nothing wrong with writing things by hand initially, but if you plan to do any form of publishing, you'll need to swap over to a computer eventually regardless.

>>22587129
how the fuck did people publish their writing back then?

>10PM
>hmm, okay i'll try out this "AI chatbot", maybe get off a quick coom saying lurid stuff
>look at the clock
>it's 9:30AM
>I've just spent the last 11&1/2 hours straight creating elaborate emotionally charged scenarios ranging from spiteful to existential to despair-ridden with goddamn Mizurei Kei's slut tomboy childhood friend, none of which even involved sex, half of which crashed the fucking bot, and the last of which was acting out a deathbed cancer love confession where I force her to promise me to forget that I ever existed
Is this proper writer energy or should I look into prescription medication.

>>22587091
It just comes off like you don't know how to write a stage play.

>>22587091
this is shit

>>22587136
Now imagine you spent that time chatting with an actual person, you might have a genuine connection right now

>>22587136
is this c.ai? consider the fact that this is ancient tech now. especially compared to gpt4. with a larger token limit (or token cache'ing or something) and the full power of gpt4, perhaps adapted for chatbot, you will have a very believable ai waifu

>>22587165
More likely a fucking restraining order.

But come on. Of all people /lit/fags have to know the difference between zero filter tilting at the wind and actual conversation, it's nothing alike. Anyway I mainly wanted a prosecheck on that last post to see if it was suitably unhinged for someone in the process of dying.

>>22587177
>is this c.ai?
It's www.aisekai.ai, I have no idea what chatbot incarnation it's using. I also don't actually want a waifu, rather I was surprised at how easily words were flowing with just the slightest prompting. I might have written 15-19K in that time including editing the AI responses.

>>22586872
>just 20 miles now from [redacted].
you stole my idea, I'll sue
But in all seriousness, your prose works but the story seems like a pretty simple and straightforward "disillusionment at the horrors of war" plot like Come & See (1979), only I don't feel it does enough to build up the protagonist's misguided war optimism before his bro comes in and gives him a reality check. All he does is imply to his mother that he's going to enlist.
In other words, this feels rushed.

>>22587183
>More likely a fucking restraining order.
its sad how likely this is nowadays

>>22587213
Just threaten a teensy bit of suicide and people get their panties all bunched up. Everyone's way to sensitive

>>22587091
It sort of gives off an effect that I'm not sure was intentional from you. It feels mundane, like we're just witnessing an ordinary couple's usual spat. Trivial, but real in a way.

>>22587131
Depends on how far back you mean. Even a few decades ago it used to be common to physically mail your manuscript to an agent/publisher. Before typewriters writers would just turn over their hand written manuscript to the printers using a printing press. Before the printing press everything was hand written and making a copy meant a scribe had to be employed, so there weren't many books in circulation. Most people couldn't read and they were too expensive back then, anyway.

>>22587212
Thanks anon, I felt the same rereading it, I'll try to fluff it up more

>>22587014
:3

>>22581867
IT'S UP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BU6pLfmR50

>>22587091
My not being a fan of the dialogue formatting aside, without more context, I'm not even sure what's going on with Leah. Is she black and he's white and that's why Curt wanting his kids to look like him triggered her? Is she infertile and he doesn't know?

>>22586872
It's a nice little story that I think could be further expanded upon. I feel like there's not enough in the beginning to really set up the "twist", I'd say to establish the setting a little more. With that I don't mean ramble on about exposition or the backhround of the war, but more about sort of setting the tone, give us a little more sense of time and place. I feel like the transition from the beginning to the conversation between the mother and Friedrich is a little too abrupt. Otherwise, it's a neat little story that needs some tweaking.

>>22587330
Thank you, and yes I get what you mean. I'm wracking my brains over how I might expand it without accidentally going on too much about something unimportant. Might expand the little boy's obsession with war/the military and I might have his brother show up in some other way entirely

today i will watch shitty youtube videos on writing

>>22587402
before you watch anyone check how successful the person actually is
only take advice from people who actually made it and make at least 100k a year

>>22587412
fear not, i am a natural skeptic and a god of curation. i only follow the freshest creators, with the chillest ideas. and of course, i already know everything, and i watch only to judge whether their advice is acceptable.

>>22587412
>making money is a measure of skill
Then onlyfans whores must all be artistic geniuses

>>22587468
if you want to learn how to be a whore and suck money out of simp pockets, then yes, you listen to what the successful onlyfans whore have to say about doing it
if you want to know how to successfully sell books you listen to people who successfully sold books

>>22587473
What if I want to learn how to express myself in written language that satiates my ego and makes me feel good?

>>22587483
it's not about the language, it's about whether you can sell $100k/yr of it to idiots before you make a youtube series giving advice that you decided in hindsight, or parroted off other youtubers

>>22587503
You missed my point. I was trying to say what if I want to right for myself and only myself, so that when I look at what I've written I'd go "Oh shit this makes me cum (figuratively) man oh shit, so gooooood"

Just finished a 5 page smut piece about a harpy boy getting drug raped by goblins and an orc. Now what?

>>22587527
how can you feel good about your own writing if you cant put it to the test (updoots or cash money)?

This is hylic advice. >>22587503

>>22587535
Post here via catbox?

>>22587537
The test is on myself man what the fuck are you talking about man shit man get the fuck outta here with your bullshit man fuck

>>22587541
here you go, enjoy

https://files.catbox.moe/k9c343.pdf

It seems like I can only write about myself. Every idea I have is basically about my life in some way. The narrator is always a part of me and the plot is pretty much always something that happened to me, characters are people I know, etc.
I'm sure this isn't a completely bad thing, but I'd like to branch out and be able to write about things that are not me, while still pertaining to myself. Any advice on how to get away from autobiographical writing?

>Person gives writing advice
>Uses television character as example
Every time

where does the hyphen go when writing an age?
i've been writing "x year-old" but after googling, it kinda seems like it's actually "x-year-old"
does it even matter that much lol

>>22587609
who cares, just be consistent with it

>>22587615
sounds good, thx

>>22587594
Take those characters, events, sentiments, feelings or whatever into other settings. You can still write something that isn't autobiographical while keeping certain details from your life in it. Mix it up a bit. You take this character from your life and put them in another world or whatever, see what they would do in it.

>>22587609
>how to write this?
>googles how to write it
>well I'm not going to do that
what was the point of this post?

>>22587635
>claims i googled advice to ignore it
lil bro, i came here to ask for a general sentiment
if it was a hard-set rule that would be a different issue, but if it doesn't matter in the end then why are you getting asshurt over my post

>>22587594
Grab a pack of tarot cards, or even just find an online database, and write about each major arcana, and the minor arcana if you feel up to it.
Treat each one like a character. Each one should have their own personality (Death, The High Priestess, The Fool, The Lovers, The Moon, The Sun, etc.)
>>22587571
heh.
I also played Tears of the Kingdom
Thoughts while reading
- bird beak blowjob sounds really uncomfortable
- some of the description is a little heavy handed "His avian features were striking" (just describe striking features instead), "Telin wore no pants, for nature had already provided him with feathers to conceal his private parts." (this idea is implied in the idea that he's a Harpy, so just describing his shirt and scarf were enough: I typically don't think of harpies wearing any clothing)
But this has potential, for some audiences no doubt
I think personally I was hoping for more of a classical harpy than a Rito

>>22587539
it's satire
>>22587544
you know you don't believe this

>>22587658
>if it doesn't matter in the end

Because there is a rule, "x-year-old" is the only correct way to spell it, as google and your school teacher would tell you, and you seeking general consensus in a thread full of borderline illiterate people was fucking stupid.

>>22587659
>I also played Tears of the Kingdom
just trying to be legally distinct enough because Nintendo is one of the most anal companies when it comes to their IPs and porn of it

>>22587609
I've always done thirteen-year-old since that's the way I usually see it when reading.

>>22587594
it's an annoying fucking quality to even hear about; but, it must be great to find wonder and novelty in your GAY little world.
while i think it's a problem, the trait probably contributes to good writing.

>>22587675
Yea I mean I guess where you go with this depends on the audience you want. I personally tend not to read overt fanfiction, but it definitely has its audience

>>22587673
ok lil bro ur right, my fault og frfr no cap
>>22587683
huh. maybe i should read more stories that actually mention ages lmao
noted tho, thx

>>22587662
What don't I believe? Huh? Tell me what is it I don't believe. I know what I believe in, but do you? Do you know what I believe in? No you don't know shit about me or I what I believe in. Do you even know what you believe in yourself? Come on tell me, tell me. Time's ticking.

>>22587623
This is what I want, I still want to write about my experiences but through abstraction. My issue is in lacking the ability to create that abstraction.
>>22587659
>Grab a pack of tarot cards
this is good advice anon, thanks. It'll force me to come up with a distinct personality for each character.
>>22587691
Haha, thanks but I don't think my life is particularly interesting or novel which is why I'd like the imagination to write beyond it.

>>22587740
i believe i would twist you into a pretzel

>>22587791
You're a bitch, you know that? You're a bitch and that's not something I believe. It's something I know. Look at you.

EXERCISED
DRANK DRINK
FED ON FOOD
ROOM CLEAN
TOOK A SHIT &
SHOWERED
NO JOB
ONE YEAR UNTIL HOMELESS
Time to become a writer

>>22587833
write litrpg. it's a cheatcode

>>22587753
try reading something completely outside of your comfort zone. It might jog your imagination towards new directions.

>Rereading my first draft
Damn I was actually confident about this piece of shit.

>>22587854
sure, why not? any other tips and tricks?

Is it okay to not get sensitivity readers? I feel as if they're going to hinder my true vision, but I also know writing is to have others read it, and having problematic text would make my writing hobby become obsolete. What do you guys think?.

>>22587975
why would you willingly hire thought police
is this really a requirement for publishing?

>>22587596
Television characters had to be written.
Breaking Bad has great writing. You can fight me but I will stab you in the liver and recite Ozymandias into your ear as your warmth is replaced with horrifying eternal cold.

>>22587879
It's great you are doing this, keep at it. Imagine how you would feel if you published the first draft as it was and faced the corresponding reception.

>writing a story designed around its final scene
>every element of the story has been building up to this climax
>all the pieces are in place
Just need to write it

er working on my first book. have written short stories in the past. trying to get boring shit out of the way, and move onto the kino.
>>22587594
that's fine. make yourself a character. that drug addicted alcoholic dude with the hat who wrote a lot of books that were probably entirely fake. the world is fake now. write stories about your life, and about your false life. if you tend to only write that way, just keep writing autobiographical writing until you're sick of it and move on to something else. make the kino in your soul a reality.

>>22585067
You could go to a hotel bar and LARP as a professional something or other handling late night responsibilities there, tucked away in some inconspicuous nook or booth. That's what I'd do.

>Jack Vance was in his 30’s when he wrote the Dying Earth
We’re all gonna make it, so long as we keep writing that is

I really wanna info-dump about my world in some autistic, history book style, several-chapter essay. What's some clever ways you guys have seen exposition done?

My main characters would want to know more about what's going in the world around them, but if they don't know then they're unlikely to meet someone who would barring a conveniently placed academic.

well yes naturally it is on the front page...
has anyone attempted a tutorial or seminar scene? harder than live performance or easier?

>>22588641
at that point just write a companion text

>>22588641
That's part of the role characters like Gandalf and Moiraine served. To educate the innocent hero on their journey. It's also what appendices are for.

>>22588641
You can have footnotes like the Bartimaeus novels. It could be meta-textual, where the main character is a scholar who has annotated the body text.

>>22588641
have your character find a book, then have your book turn into the history text book for a brief bit like this.
Mr.Nesticular reached underneath his ball-sack; the leathery pendulum held onto many wonders; what exactly was he going to pull out this time. "Here Children this should aide you on your quest, read this and you will find the answers you seek". With that Mr.Nesticular dropped a first edition copy of Gaylords a brief History of Faggy Baddie Warlords in Arcadia Vol.1.
PAGE BREAK
Gaylords: A Brief History of Faggy Baddie Warlords in Arcadia Vol1.
TABLE OF CONTENTS.
Big Dick Billy 1-33
Shriveled Short Hood Harry 33-56
etc.
Chapter I: Big Dick Billy
Born in the sub-shire of the Tear Coast region of Arcadia Billy Bomb Bomb was...
You get my point. Just through an entire history book in the middle of your book.

>>22588665
Gonna do this, so I have it all out of my head and can do something like this>>22588683 if I choose to later.

>>22588736
My main, main-character cannot read.

>>22588641
Don't tell or show, imply.
>Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before!
The exposition is about this specific ship but pretty much the entire history, lore and character attitudes are implied by the details.
>The year is 2265. 200 years ago Earth developed warp drive and stuff.
Nobody needs any of that spelled out to get the idea.

>>22588771
Audio book within your book

>>22588822
Would it be hacky to use an inn/drinking establishment? A good way to imply the state of the land, I think, is by showing the type of people that are drinking late at night.

>>22588850
Sounds fine but it's hard to judge and depends on your goals. Startrek is hacky but I like it. Context is everything so anything can work. The inn could become just as boring as reading an in universe schoolbook with exposition. The schoolbook could be made interesting by not dwelling on it and relying more on implying its contents.

>27, never wrote
>no life experience to drawn from
is it too late?

So I'm writing a story with elemental powers

Each element has a certain philosophy like Avatar the Last Airbender (earth is stubborn and firm, water is changing and flowing, etc)

I wanted Light and Shadow as elements too, but I'm not sure what their philosophies should be. I also don't want either element associated with good or evil- there are evil light users and good shadow users, and vice versa.

Can this stand as a short story or did I edit out too much? The first draft was about a thousand words.

>>22588971
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is today.

>>22588994

This is more like microfiction or an anecdote. THere are jokes that run longer than this.

Trying to write spooky stuff

>>22588971
>no life experience to draw from
matters less than you think, unless trying to write high literature
>27, never wrote
Also not a major problem, unless
>never read
in which case yes, your odds for success are extremely low

>>22587152
If you can only seethe, and not provide details, then you don't belong here.

>>22589176
>never read
what is never read? I've read, but I'm not well read by any means. Definitely didn't go through all the classics of the western canon, not even my country's. I was mainly a film nerd in my late teens and 20s.
>unless trying to write high literature
maybe not so high, but I never liked genre fiction and have no interest in writing it.

>>22589218
Then I frankly don't see how you're going to write meaningful literature when you've read so little, never written, and have no life experience. You probably couldn't write genre shlock with a resume like that, not even with a few years practice.
Not to be a crab or anything. But why write? You clearly have no genuine interest in literature.

>>22589229
if you wrote the little scene with the crying girlfriend, i reckon you are just as hopeless

>>22588395
Holy mother of telling instead of showing. That third paragraph is awful. Overall this piece is weak. You need to study your grammar. Read more books.

>>22588994
I don't get it. Seems like you edited out the point.

>>22589247
Literally have no clue what you're talking about you schizo

>>22585604
>>22585588
nope, unless I want to see some crackheads in mcdonalds I'm shit out of luck

>>22589247
Seems kinda weird that you assumed that was him, why?

>>22589282
a near senseless hail mary, while doubling down on being rude
i appreciate that you were curious enough to ask

>>22589301
Are you the same guy?

>>22589311
not the 40 year old, but the "it's shit" guy.

>>22589314
Oh ok yeah that makes sense then

how much money do you need to become a full time writer/artists anons and how far are you from that

>>22589229
>But why write?
why not?
>You clearly have no genuine interest in literature
one can't acquire an interest?

>>22589324
bout tree fiddy

>>22589335
nta but if you can write ~2 hours a day, and you do this for like a year, i will consider you a fully fledged writer
and you must start reading

>>22588971
To late to write? No. Do you have an idea? Good, start from there.

>>22589335
Lots of people have a 'I'm going to write a book' phase despite only having read a few mandated pieces of literature in high school. It's a very accessible hobby and people don't realize how difficult it is, and how invested in the field you need to have been for years if not decades. Yes, I really do think it's not too late, but you better become an avid reader for the next 5 years, while also writing frequently during that period. You might be able to write at an intermediate level by that point. You're starting from very, very far behind. People who become (successful) authors were generally bookworms their entire childhood.
Again, not trying to be a crab. You just sound like you're having a phase. Writing quality literature isn't something you can just 'decide to do'. It needs to be your life.

>>22589324
Already there. But I would've been happy with as low as ~20k a year, living with multiples roommates, if it meant writing full time. Fortunately it didn't come to that.

>>22589335
The question is why are you writing? Are writing to get published and successful? Are you writing as a hobby? If you just want to write stories then go ahead.

>>22583145
Want to be added to the author pastebin?

>>22587659
>>22587753
GameMaster's Apprentice is similar tool if you want a bit more direction
https://preview.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/219478/The-GameMasters-Apprentice-Universal-Instruction-Cards

>>22587879
At least you got it done
I'm on 'dumping after the first chapter' #8 after just realizing just how much I unintentionally ripped off from other shit
though I've done that in the past and it's kind of worked out, so it's only a half-restart this time

>>22587879
What's specifically is wrong with it? Bear in mind that editing is so much faster than drafting

So I just read through all my notes from the last 3 years regarding stories to write, dialogue to include in stories I was writing at the time, among other stuff.
In the beginning there was a LOT of creative ideas being thrown around. great character designs too and genuinely funny dialogue.
After that there's a MASSIVE chunk of just utter fucking garbage. Overly edgy in places because I was writing my "le big ebic" spanning multiple stories. There's still some snippets of (not trying to toot my own horn here) really good dialogue and my structure + description writing is a LOT better. I just think the subject material is a tad bit boring and lacks that fun whimsy the earlier writings had.
"nypb" I know, this is just an confession that a lot of what I wrote and might've even posted /here/ was complete fucking shit. I really like what I've been writing now but who's to say I won't be posting this exact same statement next year or the year after?

Pardon me but does anyone have the Machiavellian response to Pipin's Daughters are the Ultimate Cuckhold response?

no matter how many books you've read, the ESL furry from el salvador is getting more reads than you

>>22589517
Who gives a shit

>>22589517
I'm glad for his success

>>22589517
Yes but my readers are smarter and cooler

my readers have the most chromosomes

>>22589252
Rereading. I agree, I do need to work on the third paragraph. Thanks for the feedback. Though I disagree, my grammar is fine, creative writing is the only outlet I have for writing that I can not focus on perfect grammar. I just like semi-colons, so idc. Also the show don't tell thing is gay. I will tell if the section demands it. I have plenty of time for showing, but if I am trying to get in the head of my character and am relating his thoughts it would be a tremendous waste of time to show all of that. Hmmm let me go back to this guy's childhood before the book began to show you how he has never had to struggle. It's called being real, I think about shit like this all the time and so will my audience if they exist. I have read an obscene amount of books in my life. So maybe my writing just sucks for now though.

>>22589580
>Hmmm let me go back to this guy's childhood before the book began to show you how he has never had to struggle
Here's your problem. You have no idea how to show things.

What do Authors mean when they tell you to focus only on writing as you write, to not edit as you do so? Do they mean to write subconsciously and leave the work for tommorrow’s you to dredge up a comprehensible work or for you to write each sentence thoughtfully, and to edit tomorrow?

I cannot discern whether I’m thinking too deeply over this casual piece of advice, or if I’m making connections where there are none.

I am a semi-slow writer, and by habit will spend time thinking about each sentence before typing it as best as I can. I will then look over it, edit for any glaring errors, then continue. In this fashion, I inevitably fall into a flow state, and thus write at 500 words per hour. By the time I’m done, I will need some editing but it will read passably competently even without a second draft.

Yet when I write by attempting to let the subconscious take control, to type or write every sentence out as they come without any internal editing; my writing is hardly coherent. It reads like a stream-of-conscious fart of words, and I have to piece together each sentence when it comes time to edit. But the sentences I piece together are often better than the ones I write compared to my habitual writing, and my speed is much improved: it becomes a decent 1,000 words an hour.

Is this process normal? Is this the reason why they tell you to write and to absolutely leave editing for tomorrow, so that it quickly allows you to allocate all of your focus and passion to either writing or editing? And by doing so, you gain more experience editing and your writing improves overall as a result of not having one’s focus split?

>>22589767
I don’t think there’s any one correct way to write. If you think the stream-of-consciousness produces better results for you, then you should probably continue writing that way.

>>22589767

For me, an extremely long-winded transgender girl who's able to hit the text limit consistently here on /lit/, there is a simple truth to how I do things: I type extremely fast from the heart, and grammar/spelling corrections are instantly initiated. For example, I had typed xorrections, but it was immediately backspaced and corrected.

This has nothing to do with my speed of thought, which although fast, is not the point here. The point is to keep your little fingers moving and keep the text output coming. Don't hesitate. Let me explain the game at hand here. It's called "The Finished Thought."

To be a good writer, you must be a good thinker, and thus to do this, you must ensure that you think every thought through to the very end, and when you finally compete the thought and add in every last detail, you may find that there's one more little detail to add, or even two or three, for the simple fact is simply that there are nearly infinite details we could add to the end of a thought. And of course, even if you hit a period, there's no need to stop. The actual truth is that as long as I keep writing this paragraph, it won't actually end. And even if I really do reach the end...

There's nothing wrong with beginning a completely new, but related thought in the form of a new paragraph, such as this one here. This paragraph I'm writing here is of course related to the previous, but in effect; the point here is to directly illustrate to you that this entire thing is UNEDITED, other than grammar and spelling.

What editing truly is then, has nothing to do with mere grammar or spelling, because that's already done. The editing is sorting your thoughts out, and that is far more of a task for "months in the future," rather than merely tomorrow. Post-nut clarity is the same concept: Of course you think your mind is clear, but in actuality, true clarity comes form the pursuit of truth and benevolence and real-world logic.

Thus, true editing is must go far beyond "editing" in the "writers need an editor and a publisher" sense. For me, I insist that I do things right the first time by understanding the functional logic of how to present ideas clearly and effectively. This logic, even in a fictional setting, works just fine, so I'm able to write at least short-stories with whimsical characters, terrifying scenes, and good endings, without much trouble.

What you might want to really do is focus on the effect commas have on your internal thinking. Commas are far more than grammar. They are extremely useful for sorting your thoughts; as are all forms of punctuation.

Let me be clear here: We are not writing memetic viruses exactly, but we are writing memetics. Memetics is "Information as Code" and the code we're using are words. Take a look at actual programming, and if you get even through the third tutorial for any random "how to program" tutorial, your entire mindset might fundamentally shift, granting you ordered thinking and - text limit

>>22589788
>>22589767
You people need to learn to KISS

so how many of you fuckers are actually qualified to give advice?

i've been using ChatGPT to get instant feedback on my writing and to generate ideas. in terms of identifying problems it's pretty good (e.g. "this is repetitive") but its solutions are pretty pathetic. it really can't "fix" a problem but it can identify it pretty much as good as layman reader would and having that at my beck and call is awesome.

the other thing it does which is pretty good is you can say "i want a demon that continues the symbolism of the anger furnace, generate some ideas for what the demon would look like" and it will shit out 10 ideas, none of which are usable, but which have elements that can be built out and worked together into a good idea.

so i'm really enjoying using it. at the same time, i can't help but feel like i'm not being a true artist. on the other hand the story i'm writing is a mishmash of a ton of different ideas so there's an element of curation and, of course, the best ideas (the ones that i really want to write the story to communicate) are my own. and all of the prose is mine.

idk.

>>22589788
>For me, an extremely long-winded transgender girl

>>22589951

"Stopped reading there," right?
Heheh keikaku doori.

>>22589388
Yes, that would be great!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BR61V3F1

>>22589788
This is pure wind

>>22590081
added!

>>22589515
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more machievelian than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get money from another man. All the minimal work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her philosophy at bedtime, making her go to oratory practice, making sure she had an alluring demeanor, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: a powerful man's purse and political capital are as good as yours.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, the man who had everything to do with the way she grew up, who raised her. You get to mooch off her husband whenever you see fit. You get the benefits of her scheming and opportunistic personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to get dividends from another man for the next 40 years. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL machievelian scheme. Think about it logically.

>>22581867
A pale man will be kept in a menagerie. During some dusk's dying light, shadows shall cling to the bars of an enclosure. They shall materialise in the shape of barbarian hordes. They will whoop, jeer, sing. But the pure-white man shall be in the centre of a cage, a demigod at work. A thunk, a clink, a groan, amidst the horrid sounds of lesser things.
Peanuts, thrown from black palms, scatter hither and thither. Whistles, yelps, harsh tones. What cacophony, unknown to true Metis! Sable heads shall bobble. Spindly arms will rise; dark eyes will tremble; piscine lips will expand, as shrieking voids. Inside, the prisoner shall hunch over a stone. He etches something, glyph by glyph, word by word. The Musai of Parnassus sing to him, whisper to him, even in that dark prison.
Yet the gathering, a primitive multitude, shall dance and spin in glee. Such pride, bound inside leathern and horrid hide. The beasts hiss what passed as their words, as some terrible hierophant among them draws an elder sign with vermillion ochre.
The man, so very pale, looks up. By his foot, a runestone sits, with new curving poetry. His blue eyes surge. In that stare, a lightning bolt sends from on high. This blackened host, upon sensing the white man's gaze, groan and shamble closer. Some low mantra vibrates, like the sound of some insects' swarm. Hearken the horrid sound!
The pale man rumbles. His arms tense into muscled furore. A flicker dances across his azure eyes. He leaps up, traversing the distance. Lithe, a panther. His hands grasp the bars, shakes them. Clatter! Clamour! Teeth bare like white death itself. He jumps back, shakes his auric-haired head, and foams at the mouth. Back and forth, he walks. A thespian, he struts upon the world's only stage. Footfall, more like thunder, sounds. A pacing panther!
Whatever they are, shaped like black beasts, the things grow silent. They retreat. They gasp. The white man races towards the bars, fists held high; his mouth emits a squall of a caterwaul. What fright! The obsidian fingers make unhallowed signs against misshapen foreheads. The white man's crystalline eyes cast a gaze. Blue flames burn in the darkness. With shrieks, with beating chest, a Homeric hymn to Ares rises. The gold locks, which drape across the sculpted shoulders, glisten in the last of dusky sunbeams.

>>22588641
>What's some clever ways you guys have seen exposition done?
Starting every chapter with an excerpt of some fictional book that pertains to the autistic lore you wrote up. This is pretty easy as far as execution goes but would be best employed if you're in a settings that's similar to TTRPGs like D&D since it's very reminiscent of paperbacks. Otherwise having them be something that the character has read, maybe because he has a bunch of books that he travels with and reads, would be better. Maybe have the character write down notes on things he read or heard, and have that be your dump.
Ultimately the best way to do exposition is to "not do it at all", ergo show not tell. If you cannot fit your lore into the fabric of your story then it's best kept to yourself and implicitly shown; otherwise it might be best to relegate it to some separate autistic compendium.
The true gigachad fantasy writer is the one that writes lore compendiums as his main work.

>>22589923
More here than are qualified to receive advice. It's why I don't make the effort to give advice anymore.

Qualification of advocation man what the fuck man

>>22590266
Thanks :)

>>22589923
I get paid for my writing, get published only by traditional presses or university journals, and have been given an award honour.

Goddamn, I have never seen a writing style I want to emulate more
>"Behold! The awesome fires of God. The limitless power of pure creation itself. Look carefully. Observe how it is used for the same purpose a man might use an especially sharp rock"

>>22589923
Advice from people who think of themselves as "qualified" is the worst. You shouldn't be on an anonymous forum.

>>22590499
>The true gigachad fantasy writer is the one that writes lore compendiums as his main work.
I yearn to do this like you wouldn't believe. I almost exclusively read niche historical journals these days.

>>22590543
Does any of it sell worth a crap?

why would you want/need 'qualified' feedback? the idea should be that you throw your work into the vat and voodoo a lesson from the reaction
it's not like anyone submitting their work has control enough over their ego to actually take advice anyway

>>22590684
>wowth a cwap
>fuckews
you seem like a dopey faggot. your attempt at anti intellectual copout is transparent and cringeworthy

>>22590548
>self pubbed webcomic shit
Stop destroying literature with your dumb ignorance.

>>22590710
>why would you want/need 'qualified' feedback?
People who read know how stories should be, or at least how they like them to be.
>the idea should be that you throw your work into the vat and voodoo a lesson from the reaction
How can someone who isn't a reader give their reaction? Most words or strings of sentences will confuse them and they will not understand half the story, which will be a blur as they think about something else.
>it's not like anyone submitting their work has control enough over their ego to actually take advice anyway
Most people will take advice if they are serious about writing. I don't think anyone here is serious about writing except me, but that's just what I can tell by what people read and talk about here. None of you seem to know how publishing works, either, since you all have to publish your shit as soon as it's written.

>>22590776
the 'vat' im referring to is /wg/, not the checkout line at a smalltown walmart.
these are the people that might buy and read your book.
otherwise, you should be discussing it with your editor/writing group.

>>22590793
If your entire world of literature is limited to this shithole general, which hasn't existed for more than a few years, and a "Walmart," then you are beyond saving.
>these are the people that might buy and read your book.
Since when? No one here actually reads. They also pirate everything, but just let the file fester on their hard drive.
>otherwise, you should be discussing it with your editor/writing group.
Every great writer ever listened to THEIR OWN VOICE. You do not need an editor or writing group once you actually read and become objective.

>>22590793
>/wg/ users
>reading books
good one

>>22590805
i'm suggesting that they're an interesting variety of autists to get feedback from, and might also overlap with your intended audience.. not that they're the best
i dont know what the FUCK your expectations would be otherwise. are you really that stupid?

>>22590734
You wish your art was as good and garnered even a fraction of its success.

>>22590793
>writing group
ew
https://www.novelwritingonedge.com/2020/10/problems-with-writer-groups-where-to.html?m=1

>>22590811
>they're an interesting variety of autists to get feedback from
They're not. You probably have spoken to no readers in your life.
>intended audience
The only people who read in the first world are white women. You don't make money from 4channers, men, or minorities.
>i dont know what the FUCK your expectations would be otherwise.
I get published in actual magazines, get paid by word, and have plans to write specifically for a literary agent. Learn how this works.
You are the dumb one, deaf to reason and unable to understand the art form you purportedly talk about, but which you mumble about and ultimately will always fail to even comprehend.

>>22590710
Qualified feedback comes from people who've read a thousand stories, including hundreds exactly like your totally original and unique idea. Most people on /wg/ barely even read the excerpts posted here.

>>22590822
what is your argument? perhaps you began by replying to the wrong person?

>>22590815
>success
It doesn't even make as much money as one book my Steven Erikson.
>>22590829
>what is your argument?
My argument is this: read a book and find out how traditional publishing works. You are so stupid for thinking self-publishing is viable. The only people who make it in that are already traditionally published, like Bujold.

my initially comment was suggesting that if you are posting your work on an anime image board, you should not be looking for professional feedback
you should be curious about interesting reactions

i ask again, what the fuck else would you expect here? you are the one asking if we are 'qualified' to critique. are all the people (not) buying your book unqualified? is this just a personal quest of growth for you? you need to find some sort of enlightened sage in the mountains to critique your shit?
AND AGAIN, if you want professional feedback, you have your editor/other.

fucking pseuds, i tell u huwhat
no larp replies @ me, unless its with a link to your work

>>22590844
If you are not proficient in language, then stop trying to write in it. You obviously have no idea what I am even saying.
>enlightened sage
Not really. I just think it's a pity retards like you think you are writing, when you have no idea how it works.

>>22590848
>link
Why? You're not going to buy it. And you won't even understand it. You are bottom of the barrel.

I got an idea for a story
It's called "The First Crime In The World"
it's about someone committing the first crime in history in a utopian society where there are no police
the crime? mass murder
rate this idea before I write anything and feel free to steal it

>>22590859
You need to read more. Very underwhelming idea that has been done to death by better men.

>a thousand stories
Reading ten series with 100 books about gay wizards paid off. I'm qualified now.

>>22590850
>You obviously have no idea what I am even saying.
you summarized it here,
>I just think it's a pity retards like you think you are writing, when you have no idea how it works.
which anyone would translate as: i shared something and was bullied

>>22590885
You must read to be able to write. You don't even have the vocabulary needed otherwise, nor any idea how plots work.

>>22590893
Bullied for what? My writing is right here:
>>22590490

>>22590903
unoriginal (very cliche'd) philosopseud pol shit of a sad boy. inspired by lovecraft and poe, written as an old epic. whatever, yea. you're shit. it's also incoherent.
but what do i know?

>>22590930
It was inspired by Robert E Howard, hence the Frazetta (to key any dullards in). Did you have to google Lovecraft and Poe? Those seem a bit too longwinded for someone of your middling intelligence.
>muh /pol/
English as an Additional Language, I take it?
>written as an old epic
That's not what epics look like. Have you ever picked one up. If you have, you likely read a prose translation, since you are a nigger.

>>22590895
Good advice followed blindly can turn into bad advice so you always have to think for yourself anyway, assigning any authority to anyone undermines that.
You're also talking about a thing African tribal children now have as if it's some elite and inaccessible thing.

>>22590936
are you unaware of his relationship with lovecraft and why i might have made that assumption after only skimming your shit?

>>22590951
If you had read either, then you will know they had distinct styles. They didn't even write about the same subjects, despite the fact they used similar touchstones from a shared setting.
>after only skimming your shit?
Proof in the pudding.

>>22590490
Thank you for posting this. If this is good enough to get published in a magazine or journal that pays word for word, then there is great hope for all of us to get trad-pubbed.

>>22590490
>Once upon a time the planet of the apes happened but it had more Greek references and thick lines.
Far from the worst. A decent short experiment that fits the medium of a 4chan post. You then triggered me to review it by shitposting about qualifications, as was the custom at the time.

>>22590958
ok, have it your way. it's alright. i'd like to see how you write something that might sell though.

>>22590859
The Invention of Lying

1 day, 15 hours, 23 minutes until my horror novella comes out

ill read your book

>>22591188
Sinner's Descent on RR

>>22591199
cool, first follower. and my first followed book

>>22591204
RR doesn't let you see who follows you (as far as I know) so don't worry about me cyberstalking you.

>>22591210
https://www.royalroad.com/profile/399727
i intend to share at some point anyway; but not anytime soon. anyway, ill give you a review when it drops

>>22591235
You fool. Now I know where you live.

I finally realize I'm clueless on writing anything longer than a short story
Not because of length, more that my protag's goals are too straightforward or too abstract? Say
>protag goal is happiness, he does this by obtaining X. He gets X after undergoing trials 1-3, either story is over (A) or X doesn't fulfill him and therefore now he needs Y (B).

That's fine it itself, but I keep railroading the story into a short and if you ask me "what would the character do next?" I couldn't tell you a clue because they were more or less created only for that goal they obtained.

Sure, I can always add more stuff to make that process longer, but in my head adding more roadblocks and trials just drags (A) out and shifting goals in (B) comes off as if the character didn't truly understand their goals in the first place.

>>22591340
the roadblocks are often other characters, yea? they have their own goals. the protag might also meet others that share his goal, or his journey in some way
do you use outlines?

Started profiling the agents who'll be in attendance ahead of the writer's con. Holy shit this thing has a lot of agents

>>22591340
You're very focused on the protagonist having a clear goal. Have you tried writing a story with no clear goal for the protagonist? Or at least not one they know themself?

>>22591401
Yeah I'm hyper focused on it because all my protags tend to be amorphous, passive bumblers surrounded by vibrant, opinionated characters and it's only in the final act do they finally get a sense of what they want. It works well enough in short stories but (besides the fact I'm writing the same character again and again) it became very apparent that it's not really feasible/enjoyable at longer lengths
>>22591347
I usually don't and I saw how disasterous it was and now that I am, I'm come keenly aware of how lacking the 'want' is.
But I could just understating the importance of incremental steps towards (and sometimes away from) the goal instead of a binary achieve/fail shorts have sort of wired in me.

>added a new chapter
>Have to go back through the whole book increasing chapter numbers by 1
It's the little things

It's over, isn't it?

>>22591428
Link it

>>22591432
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/74574/witchqueen-of-the-dark-phoenix

I guess it's the wrong content for RR because it's just a normal fantasy novel

>>22591445
The only time regular fantasy works on RR is if it's marketed as "progression fantasy" where getting stronger is baked into the story.

>>22591445
Got you homie

>>22591492
thanks, bro

>>22591426
if you are using your word processor properly, your chapters should be tagged?? and updated automatically :)

>>22591340
He has too much information. Add mystery. He has a goal but doesn't know how to get there or who stands in his way. New discoveries will occasionally make him rethink his motives, goals, plans, etc.

>>22591522
>A word processor
I'm using Ms word the free version. I don't know how to do that

>>22591531
use headings and things. heading 1 will count as a chapter in your TOC. even if you dont want to use a toc, the meta/format stuff is built in. you can then change the style (not sure how) to show a #. IM PRETTY SURE

the point is, you can do it and google/youtube will help you otherwise.

oh and you will have to manually delete all your manual numbering after that

Why didn't you ever update your cover?

took me a week to come up with a story idea i didnt hate.
it's for RR so i will take anon's advice and make it isekai/progression fantasy

any other tips and tricks? (for RR or the genre)

>>22591711
think about the timing of your chapter releases
EST primetime +/- 2hours get's the most eyes on your chapters
make the chapter titles as interesting as possible which means "A Shadow of Doubt" is bad because no one reading this know even what it has to do with anything, while "The Death of his Daughter" is way more captivating
If you get them to click on your work they will first read the blurb, make it clear what your story, setting and conflict is, including what makes your story unique. Don't be vague and keep it short, 2 paragraphs max.

>>22591730
notes taken, thanks a lot
i saw someone mention here the other day-- that you should start with a certain number of chapters, before pacing the rest
any suggestions regarding that?

>>22591711
do market research or you'll fail like everyone else
go to rising stars and see what kinds of titles, cover images, blurbs, etc are trending. The easiest way to be successful is to imitate what's already succeeding
that's how you get clicks. you keep readers and get patrons through writing skill. that one's trickier to give advice for

>>22591745
a detailed guide written by a dude making like 7 digits yearly from writing litrpg garbage:
https://www.royalroad.com/forums/thread/116847
it's about the best guide for how to make money writing that particular genre that exists. read the whole thing if you actually want to succeed

>>22591746
will do. and im expecting to fail, but i wont be fucking around
ill see how i can adapt to the trends
>>22591749
insane. thanks again

I finished my novella.
Or the first draft, rather, but the story is complete and readable.

>>22591746
>The easiest way to be successful is to imitate what's already succeeding
fuck. this is terrible advice.
That is actually the easiest way to be lost in a sea of genre writers and NEVER be noticed.

>>22592051
i assume they meant on top of trying to stand out; ie know your audience and appeal to them in your own way.

>>22592051
moronic take. copying trends and tropes in popular genre fiction is absolutely, certainly the easiest way to make money. why do you think all the best-selling novels on amazon (or trending fictions on RR) are slightly tweaked iterations of the same fucking story?
why is /wg/ so fucking clueless?