/lit/ - Literature

>>22576899
More like Jerry Schlongfeld amirite?

Posted early for a whole thread of mockery

Reminder to NEVER sign a contract with webnovel

>>22577022
But what to write...

>>22576940
idk what’s happening in the scene

>Cant afford an editor
>Isn't that what the advance is for?
>Can't get an advance because I can't get signed
>Can't get an agent because I can't afford an editor

>>22577063
>Can't get an agent because I can't afford an editor
You should be able to create a competent enough 3rd/4th draft to attract attention without having someone professionally edit your work.

>>22577092
I don't know what I'm doing anon. I really don't have a clue if this thing is good or piss. I just want a different set of eyes to look

>>22577063
You just need to look at your problem differently! Here's some relevant advice from Alice Cooper, from the song "Lost In America":
"I can't get a girl cuz I ain't got a car
I can't get a car cuz I ain't got a job
I can't get a job cuz I ain't got a car
So I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car"

I tried working backwards from a very short scene I wrote to get the rest of a plot but the whole thing can be unravelled with
>why didn't X just have Y murdered instead of convincing him to kill himself in a convoluted way?
It feels like I've got such a big plot hole here but I don't really know how to fill it. It's an idea for nanowrimo, should I even worry about the plot hole?

New to the thread. How do I plan a book?

In slaughterhouse 5 vonnegut stated he did the timeline on the back of a roll of wallpaper and I'm thinking that might be the best route.

Any recommendations?

I always wonder why some people write poems and other wishy washy artistic shit. Unless ur trying to write the LOTR or a manual, why ever use English?

the strength of this language is how literal and lego it is. seems like a pointless endeavor to bend this language to fit ends its not suited to.

English is a beautiful language for writing recipes and legislation, it doesn't at all come across as beautiful in an artistic way to me, even when people try.

How can I write good fast-paced action scenes? A squad room-clearing for example?

>>22577063
>editor
use bard or chatgpt and ask it to asses it scene by scene about problems with structure, plot, and pacing
you can even ask for improvements for prose/style
the only thin it can't do is consider your whole book at once because input limit per prompt

>>22577163
I like to image how English speakers come across to people that don't understand it, and it seems like really really really stupid simmlish garbage.
when I see japanese people or Greek people or Serbs or what have you speak their language it never seems as silly.

>>22577189
make a fucking movie instead
"show dont tell"

>>22577189
I would go for short sentences/words. Lack of description, if given then it should be inexact. Almost disorienting, like you're describing a fight scene in a very choppy way.

>>22577189
As someone who's been on the receiving end of a squad room clear I can assure you that "Less is more" Is pretty decent advice.

>>22577189
stressful to read; to-the-point; short; outcome-focussed

Is a pen name like "Jesus Christ, the son of God" good?

>>22576940
What this anon said >>22577049 but there's enough there to hook into wanting to find out. Post more if you want

>>22576966
People need reminders not to sign a contract with Royal Road's Chinese knockoff?

>>22577194
>ask it to asses it scene by scene about problems with structure, plot, and pacing
>you can even ask for improvements for prose/style
I've done this and the advice it gave was (unsurprisingly) so basic it could be applied to almost anything

>>22577290
webnovel isn't a knock-off of royalroad. I don't know which was made first but it didn't copy RR, because RR was a nobody until recently (and was originally a LMS fanfiction site). Webnovel is the bigger site on the global stage, it's just less used in the West

>>22577307
People need reminders not to sign contracts with companies beholden to the Chinese government?

>>22577280
I think that name's taken

>>22577328
Not if i spell it funny.

>Sci-fi future fiction.
>In the not-too-distant future, humanity has long cured the disease known as aging, making death essentially optional. When the number of new births plummets to below the number of people who opt to die, the resulting underpopulation crisis forces humanity's scientists to concur death yet again; to invent a way to bring the dead back.
The project would detail the rules of how people are brought back, then the debates about who from history gets to get brought back, and the lives of individuals and/or populations who get brought back.
Need it or keep it?

>>22577207
>been on the receiving end of a squad room clear
Give us the greentext in form of haiku.

>>22577295
Because chatGPT is magic to 100 IQ mental midgets. They are absolutely wowed at a dumb chatbot telling them more-or-less what they asked for.

It's like horoscope but for extra stupid people.

>>22577367
*conquer
sorry ESLs

>>22577378
chatgpt and dalle and the other AIs just feel really smart to uncreative people, who don't think about what exactly they want. It'll always be more hollow.

>>22577369
Okay let's see

>Be me in a room
>Drone looks in window O fuck
>Loud bang, floor to chin

>The barbarians are feral in their curiosity and aggressive in their questioning of everything. Of course civilized people find them to be insufferable.

Thoughts?

>>22577559
Good if that makes them accidentally gigabrains because they see through all modern lies.

>>22577367
Wouldn't cloning be a lot easier? Also, what's the rationale for the Powers That Be to confer eternal life on the rabble? It's more likely they'd keep it a secret, only revealed to the rich and powerful.

>>22577601
>what's the rationale for the Powers That Be to confer eternal life on the rabble?
To facilitate interplanetary travel and colonization after terraforming is perfected
>Wouldn't cloning be a lot easier?
Damn

>>22577630
Eternal life for the rich, cloning for the goy.

It's almost the same thing™!

>>22576899
Does this give anyone movement? Just a short smut-esque thing.

>>22577733
seems fine to me. I’m not into milfs though.

>>22577733
>Go on, put it in your mouth!
It's not very sexy so no, no movement.

>>22577733
>Cuckold fantasy
For fuck sake we're already a laughing stock you're doing nothing to help our image. Get it together.

>>22577754
The like 34-43 age bracket is peak. Milf porn is usually sick because it's some cow with gargantuan tits.

>>22577733
I stopped reading a few sentences in.

>>22577630
>interplanetary travel
Wouldn't cryosleep be more efficient than conferring eternal life?

>>22577733
A hypnic jerk after falling sleep, maybe. Has /lit/ ever had a smutposting general?

>>22577733
>>22577964
As I glance over these, I'm reminded I find blatant descriptions of physical intimacy disgusting: and I consider myself something of a smut writer.
There's got to be some line between eroticism and writing full on "the sensation of being cock stuffed" type cringe.

>>22577964
This ain't bad. Small movement but not much. Bits like when you describe him cumming felt more gross than sexy, but overall it's very hot.
I wish it went this way when I took a girl's virginity.

>>22578006
No true smutsman would turn away from cringe. Cringe is implicit in the genre.

>>22578006
Your prose really needs to be on point to write smut. Anything less than the best turns sexy into silly and gross.

>>22578014
Only if you're repressed. Otherwise the cringe just comes from how shit the writing is.

>>22577920
Any particular reason why other than “it’s shit”?

>>22577964
Since we're posting smut here's a sneak peek at what's to come Friday the 13th

>>22578034
Too many ellipses in the one paragraph, and the escalation toward the protag's orgasm is too quick for me. Otherwise, just niggling muh taste in smut complaints. Good jobbo.

>>22578038
>“Good girl! So quick. You must be very sensitive,” Hannah whispered to me tenderly.

>>22578041
Let the cringe be fuel for your journey. Don't overthink it. Ultimately, it's about people shoving stuff in other people's wet holes.

>>22578054
Who you calling cringe? Nothing I write is cringe.

>>22577924
I think cryosleep is a less viable technology to develop than a cure for aging. Even if it's not I can make up a world where it is.

>>22578025
Uhhhhhhh
Best I can come up with is that what I find sexy tends to be about what's not said.

>>22578054
>Ultimately, it's about people shoving stuff in other people's wet holes.
Please, stop posting for several days.

>>22578095
Seconding this. The subtext has to be hot.
>>22577733
Your piece has little/no discernable subtext. When Graham tells her to put it in her mouth, there's nothing there aside from "I want my cock in your mouth." The whole piece is just "I'm cheating on my husband with a younger man and it's so hot that I don't care." Nothing deeper.
Maybe add some internal conflict. Maybe the thought of cheating on her husband makes her sick to her stomach. So she doesn't think about her husband, she just stays in the moment. He senses her trepidation and walks eggshells around the act making it out to be less than it is.

>>22578119
>Seconding this. The subtext has to be hot.
I'll add to this: the subtext is arguably what you're actually writing.
Consider these descriptions of orgasm:
>"We fucked and I came so hard hoooooohoh"
>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood."
Idk if I consider the second to be good writing, but I consider it a damn sight better than "plap plap plap get pregnant get pregnant" tier memery

>>22578162
Well no, what you're actually writing is the text. When you write the subtext it's not subtext anymore, it's just text.

>>22578119
>>22578095
Thanks. It’s just a quick blurb. So all that makes sense. I use to do pest control and the amount of thirsty women was unsettling. It’s just an extrapolation from seeing that a lot.

>>22578181
>I use to do pest control and the amount of thirsty women was unsettling. It’s just an extrapolation from seeing that a lot.
Hahahaha that's actually kino
Best of luck

>>22578171
It seems you only write text.

>>22578184
I'm not trying to blog here, but let me tell you -- working in hoity toity parts of town doing termite jobs in summer and the rechecks later in the season. Seeing some nice lady whose husband would rather go golf stare at you through a window while you dig a trench around the perimeter of the house is something else.

>>22578249
Women are interesting creatures, aren't they

ITT: anons acting like authorities on a genre they don't remotely understand

>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood."

you think this is the style of writing found in successful erotica? I'm fucking dead. unironically 'plap plap plap get pregnant' would sell better

Start of short story, hoping to write episodic short story collection about being a neet.
Pomofluro looked into the webcam, then stared at her image on the computer screen. The LCD light reflected off the highs of her cheekbones, contrasting with the dark pits of her 18-hours-of-screen-time eyes. She hit a button, turning on her LED setup. Pink light shone along the edge of her pastel mousepad, inside her lightweight, ergonomic mouse (white, special edition), and inside her glass-panelled PC tower. The pink light smoothed out the red blotchiness of her skin and made her look like she had slept in the last 24 hours.

She turned her microphone on. It had a pop filter and an adjustable arm, essential gear for the video game streaming career that kept getting deferred but would surely start soon and then catapult her to internet fame.

"Test, test," Pomo said into the microphone. Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper, threatening to crack.

A message appeared in the discord server's live stream channel: "Are you ready?"

She considered putting makeup on for the occasion, but that would require washing her face. If she was going to wash her face, she hadn't done that in a while, so she might as well have a shower, which she also hadn't done in a while. If she was going to have a shower for the first time this week, she might as well brush her teeth while she was at it. If she was going to do that, she needed to find the new charger for her electric toothbrush; the cord on the other one had stopped working somehow, even though she rarely used it. And, if she was going to do that, she might as well clean her entire bathroom. She didn't have time for any of that, so she grabbed the tube of liquid eyeliner from between the energy drink cans and empty popcorn bags on her desk. She put her phone in the adjustable holder, another streaming necessity, then used the front-facing camera as a mirror to apply a thick layer of liner around her eyes while listening to her favourite kawaii future bass playlist. The black added a nice contrast. Maybe she'd take a selfie later, if she could shape her greasy bangs into a presentable arrangement.

Pomo cleared her throat. It was hard to do; it felt scratchy. She grabbed a can from the desk, but it was empty. She tossed it into the heap of trash in the corner, then went through the gallery of cans on her desk and lifted one after another, searching for the one she'd opened recently. Surely, she hadn't finished it already? The aluminium cans clinked against each other as she shuffled them on her desk. One fell over; thank god it was empty, or it would have stained her pastel mousepad. However, now wasn't the time to sort things on her desk; her audience was ready, and it was nearly time to begin, so she grabbed a fresh can from the mini-fridge. The fridge was technically classified as mini but could hold 127 cans, which she would typically go through in five or six days.

>>22578354
>she
dropped

>>22578345
Let's see your erotica

>>22578186
Yes, of course I only write text. When you write the subtext you get shit like >>22577733

>>22578181
>I use to do pest control and the amount of thirsty women was unsettling
Oh man, I saw this outsider indie film called Erotic Insect you'd like.
https://vimeo.com/stefanfernandez/eroticinsect

>>22578388
Uh ... no.

>>22578396
Uh... yes.
>Character A: Hello.
>Character B: Hi.
Taken alone, this is subtextless text. But with the added backstory that Character A is Character B's absentee father who hasn't been around and these are the first words he's said to Character B in years, suddenly the text is filled with subtext. Suddenly that simple, polite "Hello" (the text) takes on a myriad of unsaid meanings (subtext).
Now imagine it went like this-
>Character A: Greetings, it's been a while. I know I haven't been around and that makes me feel ashamed, but I'm ready to change and become the father my childish heart deprived you of.
>Character B: I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now. The pain you inflicted on me will never heal. But if you're willing to change, I'm willing to forgive you and let you back in my life. I love you, dad.
See how that doesn't work? It's awkward and robotic. Inhuman.
That's what's called "writing the subtext."

>>22578412
It's truly baffling that you could write all that out and misinterpet what I mean when I write "The subtext is what you should be writing"
You have NPC brain.
And since you can't pick up on subtext I'll spell it out for you:

Pure Text Chads > cowardly subtext-using subhumans

>>22578419
"Writing the subtext" is already a thing. You don't get to make it into your own thing.

>>22578388
don't call what i wrote shit : (

>>22578423
Sorry anon but it's not good at all.

>>22578422
Being an idiot is already a thing, but you've clearly made it your own.

>>22578425
well it made me smile and slightly erect, so that's all that matters.

Favorites are increasing, followers are increasing, who cares if I'm trash, call me Jimmy Hoffa cause I'm the trash king

>>22578441
Where do you post?

>>22578430
>insults in place of logic and critical thinking
Many such cases. Sad!

>>22578438
Good for you anon, you are literally masturbatory with your work

>>22578376
I make 4 digits monthly writing erotica. So I'm an actually authority, yes. I won't post work because I have an (admittedly small) reputation to lose by associating with this place. The same reason nobody accomplished ever posts here. 4chan is career cancer.

>>22578452
I've become quite angry actually, our above conversation highlights some of the abyssal stupidity lurking through 4chan (Yours).

When I say "You should be writing the subtext" I mean to imply (the subtext of my text you should have understood immediately) that you should be crafting your text to imply things intentionally...
"Writing the subtext" in the sense of spelling everything out in needless detail: obviously that's a poor choice in most cases.
But merely "writing text", with no attention to your subtext is also NPC tier.
You should "write your text" with the intention of controlling your subtext. Intend to craft what the reader will only feel unconsciously or intuitively, and bend that to your intention.

Here's some Bad Smut Examples:
Pure text: "Martin thrust his throbbing meat rod into Helena's arsehole, because he didn't want to cum in her pussy."
"Writing the subtext": "Martin, who had a 12 inch cock, was very hard and very erect, and he pushed his cock deep into Helena's stinky butt, which was very hairy because she didn't really consider shaving down there a necessary part of her hygiene routine. He'd accidentally had a child with a woman he hooked up with in California so that's why he was putting his hairy cock up Helena's butt. "
"Writing the Subtext": "In the heat of the moment, and having forgotten condoms, Martin found himself knocking on Helena's backdoor. He had a little regret in California, and he didn't want to leave another in Maine."

These are all terrible, bullshit off the top of my head, but the last one, to me, is at least a little better than the first two. Says quite a bit about this Martin character with much fewer words, and leaves out unsexy details.
Even if you perverts like hearing about Helena's stinky ass and the flecks of shit in her ass hair, you should still be trying to craft the subtext of your scene to support your intentions.

>>22578496
>Trust me bro, believe me

>>22578354
>posts the whole thing on discord but not here
Coward.

>>22578509
yeah.. because there a character limit limit for posts, retard

shilling a substack when everyone's anon is far different than posting a substack in a discord where everyone else does the same thing

learn some anon etiquette sheesh

>>22578499
All those words and I already countered them with my previous post
>>22578422
When you say, "You should be writing the subtext," you mean to say, "You should be writing with subtext."
You miswrote and now you're doubling down on your stupidity.

>>22578522
>what is pastebin
Weak excuses, coward

>>22578524
>All those words and I already countered them
Nope.
>you mean to say, "You should be writing with subtext."
No. I meant pretty exactly along the lines "You should be writing the words that aren't written." - the words that aren't there are what people really read.

>>22578502
Except you can see I'm right by clicking on any well-selling piece of erotica and skipping to a sex scene, you complete fucking moron.

>>22578538
>Bro you're a MORON for not believing I'm an authority on erotica
>Go read random erotica

>>22578542
I said well-selling, which you can find by sorting by best-selling on Amazon. And yes, reading a few 'random' best sellers gives a good idea what the market is like for a given genre. But I'm done talking to an actual complete beginner who has 0 clue what he's talking about. It's just embarrassing desu. This is why the thread is filled with rejects, newcomers, or failures.

>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood."
LMAO

Fuck RR and its shitty plebian readerbase.

>>22578527
ok,i see your point that you think its cowardly only to post full where people have usernames attached

i didn't include any link because no one usually reads my stuff so i didn't think it useful, but ill just add them at the end anyway from now on


https://ecmilieu.substack.com/p/neet-girl-episode-one-the-legend

>>22578547
You still haven't posted any of your writing.
I'm not quite fool enough to go search Amazon for bestselling erotica and actually believe you're among their ranks.

And for the record, "Strike of the coiled viper" is without a doubt a hotter line than anything you've ever written.

Any advice from any of the RR or other short story anons on how to write serially?

>>22578561
would also appreciate advice. if someone wants to just post a link to a resource like a video they like that talks about it instead of typing something out, that would be cool too.

>>22578561
respectfully, how about you get advice from the many blog posts wildly successful serial authors have made on the topic? I know Alexander Wales as well as TheFirstDefier have both made lengthy posts on the topic, while meanwhile this thread is mostly people posting their 0-5 followers and asking if its good

>>22578532
I read the words that are there, you stupid piece of shit.

>>22578560
>And for the record, "Strike of the coiled viper" is without a doubt a hotter line than anything you've ever written.
Anon, I...

>>22578572
because text does not carry intention well, i will assume that you are being sincere with your respectful intention. Thank you for your recommendations.

>>22578573
That's why you're a terrible writer.
>>22578583
Post it then. Big man.

>>22578587
It was sincere. Getting advice from this thread is a terrible idea. Read author blogs and emulate the successful. I'm not saying people who post here are always wrong, but the anon above was right that this thread is mostly filled with people with 0 success in writing. Why take advice from them when there's so much professional discourse on the matter, within easy reach?

>>22578595
>Why take advice from them when there's so much professional discourse on the matter, within easy reach?
It's in professionals interests to give bad advice to avoid creating competition.

>>22578591
1. I already said I won't because I publish most of my work, and definitely don't want to be linked with this site
And 2., you think your awful metaphor is a good way to write an orgasm, so despite my writing objectively being popular, you would call it 'cringe worthy', like you call all popular erotica.

Actually my last post tho. I was writing before your hilariously unfounded arrogance derailed me. Have fun selling erotica where the climax scene is:
>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood."
God it's actually so funny

>>22578601
You really think every professional writer is out there purposefully poisoning the well? Maybe one in every few hundred, sure--and probably the barely successful ones. If you really think you can't trust pro advice because of that, you have a twisted world view, anon.

>>22578608
First of all, when did I say popular erotic was cringeworthy?
Second of all, who says you're writing popular erotica?
You won't link anything, so I'm calling bullshit!
Third: *actually* popular erotica follows the principles I've laid out. 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, that shit's full of subtext.
>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood"
Is a bad line, I'll admit. Frankly I'm wasn't trying: but I know with 100% certainty it's better than anything you have EVER written.

>>22578612
> you have a twisted world view, anon.
Haha, oh noes :O

>>22578633

"Let’s see if we can make you come like this,” he whispers, continuing his slow, sensual assault. My nipples bear the delicious brunt of his deft fingers and lips, setting alight every single nerve ending so that my whole body sings with sweet agony. He just doesn’t stop.

“Oh … please,” I beg, and I pull my head back, my mouth open as I groan, my legs stiffening. Holy hell, what’s happening to me?

“Let go, baby,” he murmurs. His teeth close round my nipple, and his thumb and finger pull hard, and I fall apart in his hands, my body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces. He kisses me, deeply, his tongue in my mouth absorbing my cries.

Oh my. That was extraordinary. Now I know what all the fuss is about. He gazes down at me, a satisfied smile on his face, while I’m sure there’s nothing but gratitude and awe on mine.

“You are very responsive,” he breathes. “You’re going to have to learn to control that, and it’s going to be so much fun teaching you how.” He kisses me again.

My breathing is still ragged as I come down from my orgasm. His hand moves down my waist, to my hips, and then cups me, intimately … Jeez. His finger slips through the fine lace and slowly circles around me—there. Briefly he closes his eyes, and his breathing hitches.

“You’re so deliciously wet. God, I want you.” He thrusts his finger inside me, and I cry out as he does it again and again. He palms my clitoris, and I cry out once more. He pushes inside me harder and harder still. I groan.

***

Ah, so filled with subtext. You really know what you're talking about.
(I'm an addict and couldn't help but replying.)
That's a random excerpt pulled from 50 shades.
Someone earlier in the argument called direct, crude writing 'cringe worthy' in erotica and suggested metaphor. I thought it was you. I can't remember, I scanned the posts.

But to the point, please stop replying. You don't know what you're talking about. Orgasms aren't written with flowery metaphor. It's:

>My body begs for relief, and I can no longer deny it. I let go, losing all cogent thought as my orgasm seizes me, wringing my insides again and again.
>How he’s making me feel that familiar pull deep in my belly, tightening, quickening. NO … and my traitorous body explodes in an intense, body-shattering orgasm.

Etc etc. I'm literally just scrolling through 50 shades.

In short, shut the fuck up about things you're completely ignorant on. I feel no need to prove that I'm a popular erotica author, but I HAVE proved you're a moron, so I'm satisfied.

Let me write, now.

>>22578634

Good response.

"Twisted worldview" is such a bullshit concept.
Subjectivity is the death of weak minds. And so you live, and your enemies perish as they walk through the fire of truth.

>>22578633
>50 Shades of Grey

That book was an outlier. Its the Call of the Crocodile of romance novels.

>>22578668
It's not "the truth" that all professional authors (or even a meaningful %) are giving bad advice to set novices up to fail. It's just delusional. But whatever

>>22578667
You're being sarcastic, but
>My body begs for relief, and I can no longer deny it. I let go, losing all cogent thought as my orgasm seizes me, wringing my insides again and again.
>How he’s making me feel that familiar pull deep in my belly, tightening, quickening. NO … and my traitorous body explodes in an intense, body-shattering orgasm.
Has subtext.
You're calling it direct and crude, but there are layers of things going on here.
First of all, it implies you write like a woman.

>>22578688
Are you retarded?

>>22578690
I'm a great writer

>>22578695
No I think you’re a troll

>>22578721
>Says the anon who won't post his work because he doesn't want to be associated with 4chan, but is "totally a bestselling erotica author"
Your examples from 50 Shades are about the subtleties of the woman's experience. You can insist erotica writing needs to be "crude, direct, and to the point" all you like, but everything you've posted suggests subtlety is exactly what female readers are looking for.

>>22578744
Either you're a troll or you're hopeless.
Anyway,
>"Strike of the coiled viper: in sank the fangs. An injection of venom and the sucking of her blood"

Guys, I need a resource that breaks down how to write a chapter line by line. I think I have a legit learning disability because I don't understand how paragraphs and dialogue coexist.
I don't have a grasp on when and where things go in a chapter of a story.

>>22578761
>I don't have a grasp on when and where things go in a chapter of a story.
Each chapter should have at least one major plot progress milestone.

>>22578532
You're talking in stupid circles.
Subtext isn't "my words mean whatever I want them to mean."

>>22578761
>I don't understand how paragraphs and dialogue coexist.
>I don't have a grasp on when and where things go in a chapter of a story.
You need to elaborate because what you wrote is one step above gibberish.

>>22578751
Would you rather I have written something like "Just at the moment my body gave in and I lost myself into the blinding ecstasy his masterful touch was causing, he bit down hard into my shoulder. His cuspids pierced my neck, the pain tethering me to my body, right as I lost myself to orgasm. I began to grow faint as blood flowed out of me, so I screamed his name, and sensing my fear he bit down harder. "
Because that still has subtext.
I *am* teasing, but I'm right you know.

>>22578776
To understand subtext, you need to be able to read between the lines.

>>22578809
And to write well, you should write with subtext, not write the subtext.

>>22578671
CotC is only an outlier when it comes to 4chan books. Or I should say “4chan book” because it’s the only one that gained any traction. Even Gardner’s other books remain in CotC’s shadow.

>>22578821
I’ve come to terms with this. Frank was the first to the market and aggressively advertised it.

>>22578816
On the contrary: to be able to read well, you should figure out when a cigar isn't actually a cigar.

>>22578783
I'm sorry. I'm not very good at explaining my issue. I have an idea!

Look at my picture and explain to me why Red has so many sentences between dialogue and Blue has little to none. I don't understand the rules.

>>22578832
You wrote "on the contrary" and continued with something in no way contrary to what I said.
You're not a good writer.

>>22578843
You're a bad reader, and by extension, necessarily a bad writer.

>>22578840
There aren't any rules about that. It's written like that because that's how the writer chose to write it.

>>22578846
Impossible to be a good reader of bad writings.

>>22578850
Not so my friend. A good reader can learn something even from bad writing.
Not that you would know.

>>22578853
I've certainly learned a lot about how not to write and think.

>>22578856
And yet you chose to split hairs over wording, "writing the subtext" vs. "writing with subtext" despite my meaning being perfectly clear to anyone who would be able to understand subtext...

>>22578761
>>22578840
the resource you need is to read more books.

>>22578828
F Gardner is a legend and a hero.

>>22578761
The OP literally has a HOWTO pastebin that contains resources that answer your basic questions.

>>22576899
I dont know what to write about
Is wanting to write something important not a reason enough to write?
I just dont know what would fit the bill

>>22578961
Most people who want to write do so because they have something to say. Are you telling me you live life in this world and can't think of anything to say about it? I can't even imagine being that much of a hylic.

>>22578989
How about I write something on your gravestone halfwit

>>22579006
Wow...here I am, trying to help you, and you react with seething salt. I hate to break it to you, but you'll never be a writer...you simply don't have the temperament for it.

I think my prose has been indelibly marked by Cormac. It’s been almost 3 years since I first read Blood Meridian, and since then, no matter how I’ve tried to develop my prose style, it ends up looking and reading semi-MacCarthian. Is there any remedy to this weird situation?

>>22579074
Keep writing. I used to sound like Lovecraft.

>>22579031

When I hear your words, I listen.

You're wise and you're not wasting your time here. I normally never post ever, but please, I want you to know that I read your post, and it's actually helpful to me. Now, I'm too shy to say more, but please understand that I appreciate you and all the advice you give.

>>22579084
Funnily enough, I, too, also used to sound like Lovecraft. Not the Lovecraft who wrote At the Mountains of Madness, but the Lovecraft who wrote The Little Glass Bottle, then graduated to the Lovecraft who wrote The Alchemist.

>>22579090
Hey you stupid fuck I didnt hear an apology for your insult earlier. Maybe we could settle this.

>>22579120
No, I'm a completely different anon who hasn't posted in this thread except that one post. I'm just letting you know that you might not defeat your opponent. But you will win the hearts of the audience.

>>22579148
Who?

What is the easiest story to write? The perfect one for a beginner to just practice prose and dialogue.

>>22579159
your diary.

>>22579159

Anything that's NOT good vs evil.

In other words, if you TRULY want to write a story, write a story that has the same feeling as that TV show "Cheers." Just write a tavern of friends (and some rivals, sure,) and simply progress the story using normal conversation, simple events, and the flow of time, from opening at the bar, until closing. Let it be 100 pages for all this to occur in, and if you want, choose a character to "go home with," and as you follow a particular character, something SHOCKING happens.

And from there, invent a more wild, insane scenario to create drama, death, revenge, and redemption, and just see what comes about.

Fellows. I wrote a story - 34k words. Science Fiction / Fantasy themed. But whatever.

I want to make it into an audiobook using the AI TTS that cropped up all over the place recently. Which one to use?

Picture unrelated, just to grab attention, but someone might get to see how emotions go. I'm autistic, so I don't know.

>>22579185
nah this is probably the most sensible choice and yet in my opinion it is my amazing responsible nature

>>22579159
The Hero's Journey structure can be adapted to almost anything, any character, any setting.
Jordan Peterson is a memelord, but I suspect the real value of his work is in his Maps of Meaning book, where he basically boils the Hero's Journey into something even more elemental.
Can be summarized basically as "A person always finds themselves caught between the undesirable present and their imagined desirable future. When moving toward the desirable future, the unexpected may arise and change a person's conception of their desirable future." which can be iterated on repeatedly to flesh out a narrative.

If I knew more about you I could suggest specific stories that might be good for you to write based on your interests, but my advice is in that sentence already: write stories about people/things/ideas you find interesting.

>>22579181
This is nice advice, thank you. This reminds me of a story I read where I really liked the setting but didn't care for the characters. Would it be "okay" to make my nanowrimo novel based on it, or heavily borrow concepts from it? I mean, I'm not getting payed for this and it's just for practice. I could credit the book if need be as well.

I'll add to this too >>22579189
If you follow this advice, you should aim to graduate out of writing according to archetypal formulas. They can be incredibly useful when you understand them, but they're training wheels.

>>22579189
Yeah, this advice is solid. That is the true core of a lot of stories.
I guess I hesitate to write something I "truly" find interesting because I'll waste my good ideas too early before I become a decent writer. But I guess there's no reason I can't recycle ideas and concepts for later works so I should stop worrying.

>>22579208
I am currently writing a story that's reusing ideas from something I wrote in highschool.

"There could be skeletons here" I thought to myself as I sat around with my friends in our favorite tavern. He did not mean literal skeletons; they were allegorical skeletons: a warning to all to not be a skeleton. Later in the bar time had passed and things had changed due to the passage of times over several hours. During this time I had a journey where I became a hero and saved things. Also another character in the bar went home and there was a murderer waiting but then he fell and died. Nothing was ever the same in the life of that character ever again. Then I was framed for another murder but turned out I was a hero so I found the real killer, it was the president. This says a lot about society and I said that to the president. He agreed. In the end everyone agreed I'm right and you should agree with things I say. The message is: whaling can be a sustainable and green industry when done responsibly.

>>22579235

Either low-tier genius, or high-tier idiot.
Pick one. Or none. Damn, just write something good, ok? This slop has been done before too many times. Satire is dead.

>>22579236
Satire is insincere. I really believe whaling can be a good thing, even for the whales.

>>22577189
read chapter 9 of Moby dick

What’s with the schizo spammer trying to make it seem like F Gardner is an anti-semite?

>>22577134
Post it here

>>22578862
>despite my meaning being perfectly clear to anyone who would be able to understand subtext...
You mean "anyone who doesn't read too closely or know better than me"
Writing with subtext = good
Writing the subtext = bad

>>22579185
>I want to make it into an audiobook using the AI TTS
Do NOT. Do NOT. Do NOT.

I want to join a nice server where we talk about writing and give advice? Is this just going to be circlejerking shitposting? Why is everyone so pedantic and long-winded?

>>22579460
> circlejerking shitposting
You really have no self-awareness about what website you're posting on do you?

>>22579467
But we're trying to do something creative and productive now...

>>22579467
>self-awareness about something other than the self
This is a writer's general for God's sake

I want to write isekai harem slop but trick people into thinking it's high literature, ideas?

>>22579547
Have it set in the Ottoman Empire and use advanced vocabulary.

The NaNo server janny might be the best writer I’ve seen on here. His prose is unearthly.

>>22579547
that’s funny, im planning on doing the opposite

>>22579553
he made the rookie mistake of showing his power level too soon

>>22577367
Why wouldn't they just incentivise people to have more children

When I'm bored I like to listen to writing advice on ytube. The advice is just so cookie cutter than it's basically useless but to only the dullest individuals but it makes me want to write better so I don't have to ever worry about their "Advice"

>>22579604

Because the immortality treatment makes them sterile. And after just 150 years of this treatment existing, everyone alive is sterile, and immortal. By the end, no one said no. No one.

>>22579613
You'd probably have to try to answer a very specific question if you want advice that goes deeper than surface level. So if it's a general ytube video that's all you're going to get probably.

>>22577367
Why didn't they think of freezing eggs and sperms? Why don't they have artificial womb technology?

>>22579656
I know it's useless, but that's why I like it. It's just funny to imagine people out there writing so bad they need advice like "Keep your tense consistent."

>>22579670
Everyone starts as a beginner. The main audience is probably kids as well.

>>22579438
Why?
Pic: AI Generated character from my story

>>22579690
>AI shart
Books probably garbage

How do I make AI images? Do I have to sign up for a site to do it?

>>22579701
Dont't dodge the question.

>>22579690
theres no harm in doing this as long as you recognise it doesn't compare to actual voice acting. if you have some friends that want to listen to the book an that's why you're doing it, fine, but don't expect the audiobook to be done very well or magically sell just because it exists. if you're doing it for money you might as well put the energy into making the book itself as good as possible instead of making kinda a low quality second version of your work to sell alongside it

>>22579715
adding to this, the ai readers are shit for dialogue usually because when there is a conversation back and forth, they're read exactly the same so it can get confusing who is speaking. if there are ones that are paid you can customise, the cost and effort might actually outweigh hiring someone with a decent voice to just actually read the work.

>>22579715
I'm aware. My issue is that I want to 'shotgun method' the publishing of the thing. I reckon that 'book' sites are for book people and some normies might want to prefer to listen to the thing.

The problem is that I am autistic and know nothing about anything. Yes, the book might be Sonichu level of cringe. I honestly don't know how to publish, self publish or whatnot.

>>22579718
I noticed this. I considered to work around it by using separate voice for each character and the narrator. I've spent a year writing it, I can burn a month making into a sensible audiobook.

>>22579722
if you can take the time to write 30k words you can take the time do some basic research. imagine it this way, why would someone want to take the time to read or listen to something you couldn't do basic effort on every level for? respect your work more than just 'shotgun method' or whatever. put in the effort or else what's the point? just having something posted? its not going to make any money if its not done right or done well. if you want the achievement of having something listed for sale so bad just use ai to write the entire thing. i don't get this logic of rushing the final and perhaps most important step of preparing it for sale when you've probably put work elsewhere.

>>22579553
His poetry is good. It’s possible he’s Frater.

im going to learn writing via posting slop to scribblehub or royal road
please give me story ideas that might appeal to that audience

>>22579727
I am doing research right now - about AI readers in particular - whether it is worth dropping $250 for a subscription. Your opinion is going to be weighed against other things I am doing at this moment. If I wanted to just rush things, I'd list it on Amazon half a year ago for $2.

>>22579735
and i will credit you if you give me an alias

>>22579736
ok well next time say all of that information up front so when i repy i can make suggestions based on what you're actually doing rather than just a one sentence summary that doesn't include your actual desires and considerations

>>22579753
I'm trying to 4-chanize my query. Here's a full.

Me and my mate have been writing a universe of our conception for the last four years. We have 1600 years worth of history, background, politics and some specific sci-fi/fantasy themes in it. Regardless.
We have three novels in varying levels of completion and one introductory story that we want to spread around until the end of the years. There is a website in the works and so on. We have about ~800 pages of text ready.

I am researching avenues of spreading the story and building some recognition for what we wrote. Having an audiobook on YT, Spotify or SoundCloud sounds like a good idea. I will also consider publishing on some internet places, but I have no idea what they are - I am an internet hermit of sorts.

>>22579735
litrpg, grimdark, harem, some power that is unique to the protag which enables him to circumvent the games mechanics

>>22579779
That's really impressive, but what's your hook to get people interested? A lot of people don't even care to learn about real history. That's a lot of information for something they can't use or interact with anywhere else.
I've heard of a DnD game that lasted for years and has a lot of history. But people were engaged because they played an active role in it. Who is your target audience?

Does anyone know who the fuck the admin for the server is? The mystery is killing me now. He is fucking singing like Willy Wonka and won’t shut the fuck up about his retarded secret prize.

>>22579822
It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen here. He’s really whimsical.

>>22579792
ok, sure. you have any abstract concepts you want me to work with?
youre sort of just memeing me with the foundation of slop, but im actually going to take a crack at your prompt

yours or anyones

surely we have some ideaguys

A small streamer posted on their Instagram story saying that they'd love to read short stories on their stream so if any of their viewers wrote, they'd love to read their work. I messaged them and asked if they'd had any offers yet and they said they hadn't, I said I might write something for them but I haven't done anything about it yet, that was a couple of days ago. Should I? It'll get read in front of at least 40 people and I'm sure they'd pin whatever links I wanted in the chat.

>>22579874
stop begging for shit and write whatever you want loser, its not that hard
you literally think for a couple seconds and come up with an idea

>>22579887
if youre not already writing reguarly its pretty unlikely your first short story ever is one you want reading front of at least 40 people. but you might as well try if they're kind to beginners.

https://pastebin.com/Cq7fjewL
critique and thumbs up and down appreciated

>>22579895
You are too insecure to post without trying to appeal to people with that pic, so it is a thumbs down.

>>22579888
begging implies your ideas have any value. really makes you think

anyway, i was doing this for fun

>>22579901
yea

>>22579895
can you tell me what you’re doing with this, so i can give you actual critique outside of the basics?
it seems like satire but i only skimmed

>>22579894
I've written a short story before, I was meant to edit it on the 26th of August after a month away but I never did.

>>22579917
I'm fine with any critique you give, its not like I wrote this with anything in mind

>>22579120
You were not >>22579031, I was. Stop trying to stir up shit, troll.

>>22579604
China is trying to incentivize people to have more children, but very few people want to bring a new hostage into the world. Hence their population is literally contracting.

>>22579706
No...with a modicum of computer skills, you can generate them on your own machine. See https://github.com/AUTOMATIC1111/stable-diffusion-webui/wiki and lurk in the "AI DEGENERATED ART" thread on >>>/b/.

>>22579928
it’s fever dream shit, i need context to help ‘appreciate’ whatever the fuck this is. it’s nonsense otherwise.
some 101, i guess: show don’t tell
>the theatre was empty
>the stage lights were off
>she was beautiful
etc
you’re just staring things when you could instead try and paint a picture for the reader

>>22580268
tell me what you felt anon

>>22580268
critique isn't telling someone to what to do or changing their work, its telling them grammer-wise if something is off and/or how you felt reading it
if you want to critique you don't give advice on what someone should do, you tell the person how you felt reading it and what worked/didn't work for you, what interested you/didn't interest you
you telling me to show don't tell doesn't help me at all so when I post this again looking for critique I want you to ignore me unless you're willing to critique my work and not try to be a smart ass

>>22580283
it’s too out there. maybe satire?? but it’s hard to be immersed when i’m immediately distracted by whether or not the author is mentally ill
you also never really set the stage (yea), visually or otherwise

>>22580254
There's also a conspiracy theory (which may have some truth) that they have been inflating their population numbers for some time now to make themselves look like a bigger military and industrial powerhouse than they actually are.

>>22576899
What the discord is about?

>>22580302
don’t assume to know what i was doing. again— it’s fucking nonsense, but instead of dismissing it, i wanted help understanding what it was you were trying to do

>>22580331
and you give the most useless critique too, thanks!
why do you need context? You've asked me for context in two threads now and I have no idea how that would help

>>22580311
I don't know if I should believe him, but the founder of Falun Gong claims that deaths due to COVID in China are around 400,000,000, which certainly deviates from the "official" figures.
https://www.theepochtimes.com/china/in-wake-of-covid-rebound-in-china-falun-gong-founder-says-virus-targets-ccp-5482232

>>22579547
>I want to write isekai harem slop but trick people into thinking it's high literature, ideas?
Read Erogamer by groon the walker for ideas, it's really well-written even though it pretends to be a harem erotica. You can find an up to date epub if you search around a bit.

>>22580342
Stupid. Half a billion people is very noticable.

>>22580341
Readers aren't mind readers. It is the job of the author to convey information to the reader and at the same time entertain them - David Foster Wallace

>>22580356
yea, I watched that youtube vid too

>>22580351
Not in a totalitarian police state like China. And since you couldn't have read the article in the time it took you to reply, you didn't even read it. What arrogance.

>>22580341
you don’t know what you’re talking about. a critique is not just ‘my feelings’ on your work
anyway, i was trying to give you benefit of the doubt, but i’ll write you off as the retard you are

i doubt anyone will be able to sort out your bullshit

>>22580365
Your critique was useless, unactionable, and completely unnecessary. You basically said nothing these past posts. Keep up the good work

>>22580376
i didnt even give you the critique! we never got there! idiot

>>22580379
Like I said, nothing
maybe stick to asking for ideas on 4chan

>Want to write
>Can't get this fucking song out of my head
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>22580380
you’re asking us.. and, please, refer to the other critiques— oh, there arent any. perhaps because you posted drivel puro-puro? lol

>>22580386
don't you make fun of my character like that, he's a very good character

please, someone else try to decipher this. im on my phone and he’s giving me shit
>>22579895
please bully if necessary

The discord link ded, someone post up a new invite link

>>22579690
Because AI TTS is not there yet and it WILL sound like shit.

>>22580351
Noticeable is an understatement. If half a billion Chinese disappeared, the world would've half transformed into paradise already

well, puro-puro anon.. at least you are more entertaining than the others. ill give you that

>>22580302
>Critique isn't telling me what I could do better! You were just supposed to tell me you liked it!
Stop posting your shit here

>>22580407
only third rate hacks tell writers what to do with their story (including especially show don't tell)
good critique includes what worked/didn't work and how the person reading felt about the work, whats wrong with /lit/ is that too many people give surface level grammer observations (although sometimes thats helpful) and say stupid shit that doesn't help anybody

>>22580409
i think tackling the fact that your writing is ESL nonsense is more important than any abstract feedback
and it’s not up to you. i am the anonymous critic that gets to shit on your work however i see fit
your work still only warrants grammar criticism

>>22580426
doesn't matter to me what you do, just know that as a whole telling a writer where a comma goes is useless

>>22580429
when you learn to write like a big boy when can move on to the abstract

>>22580429
Em dash master race here—fuck commas.

>>22579795
The history is for us to keep track of certain characters, as one of the main themes of the stories is immortality. One of the main characters is immortal ( read: does not age, but is plenty of killable ) and the price he has paid is that of his extraordinarily long lifespan he has forgotten anything past - say - 150 years back. Stories that we write are, largely, about how he has become the person he is - and we do it through retrospections - sometimes 'current', sometimes 200 years in the past, sometimes much more.

As you can imagine - us knowing the history of the place we write is crucial to keep the stories cohesive.

>>22580429
>telling a writer where a comma goes is useless
Your attempts to write well also seems to be useless

>>22580362
You don't need to read drivel. You honestly think half a billion people dying and the constant love leaks from bilibili won't raise alarms? Use your brain.

Can I post my story here?

>>22580480
yea, paste it in pastebin and link it

>>22580482
What if no one likes it

>>22580526
don't worry I'll be gentle with you

>>22580466
It must be nice to be absolutely certain you know everything. Not at all a Dunning-Kruger downward spiral. Just remember that, these days, the difference between a crackpot conspiracy theory, and the truth, is between six and twelve months.

>>22580254
That's every developed country. The difference is Europe and America immigrates new population to show growth. But birthrates are in decline in most developed nations.

>>22580526
Ask how to write a better one next time

>>22580597
>>22580526
but attack anyone that gives feedback

>>22580570
That graph shows more than a decline in the birthrate...it shows a decline in the POPULATION.
https://www.macrotrends.net/countries/CHN/china/population
Did you miss that?

>>22580619
Yea. China doesn't import mass amounts of people like in Europe and America. ?????? /pol/ has been complaining about this for years

>>22579901
>he clicks on pastebins because of a pic of a cute asian girl
lol is marketing really that simple?

https://paste.bingner.com/paste/xhdsr

>>22580733
can't read that, the lines keep going past the screen

>>22580526
To be fair most anons are actually quite constructive. Even when they're mean they're usually making solid points only in rude ways.

>>22580737
Dag nabbit. What’s a good alternative to Pastebin, then? I can’t post this one there because it triggers the filters.

>>22580738
You must be new here. Most of you are retards who make nonsense points but use “making a point” as an excuse to be rude.

I feel a sense of pride that I derailed the thread for a large portion of yesterday evening so some retard can whine about subtext, and some other guy can talk about snakes biting people is a lot like cumming.

>>22580738
>making solid points
The most solid point some of these anons make are when they take a dookie in the morning

>>22580783
It’s not that much of an accomplishment. There’s nothing of value here anyway.

>>22580809
It makes me smile though.

>>22580783
Your parents must be proud of the fulfilling life you lead.

>>22580759
I've seen pastes.io get used here

>>22580466
You're living in a fool's paradise. The evidence is there, if you'll only pull your head out of your ass for ten seconds.
Replace "X" with "/" in the URL...for some brainless reason, the "system" thinks this link is "spam".
https://web.archive.orgXwebX20200205113140Xhttps://www.taiwannews.com.twXenXnewsX3871594

Once upon a time the book On The Beach happened but instead of accepting death the Australians used simple tech like air filters, positive pressure inside buildings and homemade radiation suits to easily survive.
Cancer rates skyrocketed but life continued. Some managed to raise crops and animals but the cleanest food source was the sea.
Within a decade the average Australian was running his ute on whale oil and everyone agreed that responsible whaling had saved Australia.

>>22580526
If the worst thing that happens to you today is a couple of people you don't know and will never meet again not thinking a thing you made was cool
You are having a good day.

https://pastes.io/dkeroixinq

What do you guys think?

>>22581172
>https://pastes.io/dkeroixinq

Ad Block detected so it doesn't work

use pastebin.

>>22581172
>https://pastes.io/dkeroixinq
whoops i caught a typo

>>22581172
I liked how detailed the characters were it feels like you really thought them out
the story didn't seem like it had a reason for me to read, there wasn't a hook
the dialogue was good, it felt very natural

>>22581206
won't let me... the filter is blocking it.

>>22581215
Was there a point to the dick-based naming?
Lots of typos (“didn’t fare any burger” and “foray” instead of “fray”) that you’ll catch in revision.
While it’s nice that you have so much backstory for these characters, it’s better to not front load so much. It kills the pacing. The point is to get to them deciding to make a good burger, get to it.
I’d question the buildup to that, though. The thing about the buns being hollow crust sounds more unusual than it just being low quality. Also the emphasis on the YouTubers making the same (shitty) burgers with the same sauce. It’s like you’re hinting at some conspiracy or something wrong with the world outside this town, but the characters don’t pick up on it. If that’s what you’re going for, then good. But if it’s not, the descriptions of the burgers they see need to be varied a bit. Something about that bit just didn’t work.

>Depressed
>Try to write poetry about how I'm feeling
>Comes across as edgy teenage angsty bullshit
Is this just how it is when writing about depression?

>>22581284
>>22581172

>>22581301
I think there is a fine line between being angsty and being depressingly good, thats something you have to figure out but I find that mixing mundane things with the edgy stuff softens the edginess of any writing

>>22581301
If you don't want to sound like a teenage bitch try writing comedy.
No punchline hits harder than a cry for help.

Also writing poetry because you're depressed is quintessence of teenage whiny bitch shit. Write something deeper instead, like a novel with depressive themes.

>A contagious curse that gets worse if you try to break it unsuccessfully
>Rapidly spreads due to the hubris of an encroaching empire's ruling class

Fun fantasy idea or dumb?

>>22581314
whats the story? Who are the characters? That sounds like a good setting but thats about it, in context it could be a romance or horror book

>>22581284
>Was there a point to the dick-based naming?
Nope. The first three characters were named Will, Dong, and John, which were pure coincidence, then I may as well go for the other 2 names to be dick based names.

> It’s like you’re hinting at some conspiracy or something wrong with the world outside this town, but the characters don’t pick up on it. If that’s what you’re going for, then good.
The entire theme of the story is about not "believing everything you see online". The boys live in a world where we take the word of random people as truth just because they make some shitty internet video. In this case, they're going to be making burgers.

To find truth, the boys need to do things themselves.

It's not going to be some deep crazy story about aliens, just a nice simple story about making burgers and criticizing influencers.

ive accidentally obliterated my spine. what’s the best way to keep writing without sitting at a desk?

>>22581314
Sounds alright for a single D&D quest.

>>22581319
Okay. I’d still rein in the description of how shit the burger is. It’s cartoonishly bad. Distractingly so (enough that I did think alien conspiracy). If the point is to attack influencers then you need to address what’s behind them.
The Jews.
I kid (do I?). But focus on the advertising aspect. Rather than them look up “how to make a great burger” and find someone making the exact same shitty fast food burger (which is one of the things that made the bit not work for me. If I look up good burger recipes I’m not going to find Big Mac clones) maybe instead they look for top restaurant burgers and the shitty one they’re eating tops the list (or several). THEN they look up how to make a good one, and those look good, but they all also add the (sponsored) special sauce.

>>22581327
dictation, write the text at a later date.

>>22581327
Standing desk

>>22581317
nta but
>whats the story?
A contagious curse that gets worse if you try to break it unsuccessfully rapidly spreads
>Who are the characters?
empire's ruling class and (presumably) empire's non-ruling class

Think harder while you read anon.

>>22581349
thats not a story idiot, and a "ruling class" isn't a character

>>22581351
That's indeed a story. It's in its most basic form, but you could grow a a ot out of it.
>a "ruling class" isn't a character
You're right, it's actually a group of characters. Characters don't have to be individuals anon. Think creatively.

>>22581357
watching you try to excuse your mistake is hilarious, I can tell you don't write, why are you even here?

>>22581358
>anon is such a bad reader he skimmed over my "nta"
Why are YOU here?

>>22581363
yea, I didn't think you were the anon

>>22581366
>retconning your immediate previous post
You're projecting being a shitty writer.

>>22581372
keep grasping
maybe you'll do something one day (obviously not write a book)

>>22581377
>no actual counter-argument, just insults

>2 fucking retards arguing about stupid shit again

>>22581393
I'm the only retard arguing, he's only freaking out because his feeble mind can't grasp the concept of ensemble characters

https://pastes.io/1hfshazmvo

>>22581397
Faggot

>>22581399
Feels like you could mix your sentence up a bit more. Think like pic related. Look at your first paragraph:
>23 words (comma, comma, comma)
>17 words (comma, comma)
>23 works (comma, comma, comma)

do guys think a female audience would generally be interested in a book about the life of a "player"
a man with many girlfriends in his life

because I was thinking about writing about my experiences but looking at how many women are involved Im starting to think this is mostly something that would interest guys
but these type of guys dont buy books (in my country)

>>22581422
Yes, but only when said "Chad" chooses a self-insert girl that's somewhat plain, but her pussy is so good he gives up his playboy ways and the other girls to be with her.

There also needs to be a love triangle somewhere. This plain Jane is able to have two chads fighting over her.

>>22581431
>>22581422
Also make them vampires or werewolves or some other gay shit.

Basically take anything cool and make it gay.
Now you have a successful woman audience romance novel.

>>22581431
I could make the plane Jane win even though in real life the crazy bpd girl won

maybe change it like I was "fighting" for her even though in reality it would be more like settling

>>22581403

>>22581422
Women seem to like fantasies about being a guy's final woman: the girl who is so interesting to a man (despite being in no way exceptional) that she finally ties a man down to commitment to her alone.
If said man has a history of being a "player", I think they'd rather that be part of that man's mysterious past than something they are reminded of. Fending off jealous ex-girlfriends is sometimes part of the fantasy.
Women also seem to like the idea of multiple guys fighting over them.

But also I don't think men should focus on writing for women.
t. male writer

>>22581454
>But also I don't think men should focus on writing for women.
thing is I wrote a lot of original (objectively great) shit but nobody cares and publishers arent looking for originality

Im thinking about just doing a book for the money and since Im drawing from my own experiences its much easier to write too.

I read a few of the bestsellers in my country and you honestly wont believe how bad it is.
they dont make amateurish mistakes but its incredibly banals and garbage.
most book buyers here are women, like a large majority, so you have to appease them.


siderant: recently read one of those "Best sellers" from a respected author. first 5 chapters are interesting and then theres like 30 chapters of suspense and the payoff is fucking nothing. When I was finished I felt like I was robbed of my time. during the final 5 chapters I was like "is he seriously going to end it like this? this is garbage"

>>22581349
I think anon was looking for something more...
>what's the story?
What's the curse? Is it deadly? Silly? Do the characters continue to try to break the curse for it the only end up in silly hijinks? Does the ruling class continue to enforce laws that end up making the curse spread rapidly?
For example:
The main characters are Brutus and Titus. They work for the empire as lowly soldiers. They have to travel around for work and they see how the curse impacts the people and daily life. The curse turns people into giants. It starts out with making them a little bigger and taller but eventually they are taller than buildings. So they have to be cast away. The exiled giants make a new society and build giant cities. This makes the emperor paranoid that they will attack them so he orders the soldiers to force the giants to march into an active volcano.
Oh, and there's another variant of the curse where it makes people small. So it's giants versus tiny people. The soldiers Titus and Brutus also become cursed. Picture a giant Titus letting little Brutus ride on his shoulder.

But that's just something I thought of on the top of my head. My story sounds like it would be a short children's book or something lol.

>>22581463
>thinks he's hot shit
>everyone else sucks
>has disdain for women
>but also wants to appeal to them
Nope. Not gonna work. Women will see through that. If you want to be brainless and just make money you can appeal to the redpill/incel community and tell them what they want to hear. Women are bitches and you can get lots of pussy if you do xyz. You're a faggot btw lol

>>22581494
>Women will see through that.
why do they fall for me then?

Id try the incel movement thing but again its only women who buy books here besides associating with the incels its social suicide whilst winning the female audience is the opposite of social suicide

thanks for the tips on writing for a female audience btw lads
Im vomiting of disgust about how slimy the writing will be but Im confident itll be a success, if i can survive 40k words of it

>>22579895
Interesting piece. I like this character, arrogant, douchbag, high on himself what's not to love. Now, I don't know theatre but I found him to embody those types pretty well. I think the way you depicted his egocentric way of viewing people was pretty neat. I liked it, nice little read.

>>22581172
I think it's a nice little introduction to this group of friends. Although, I'd say you should, how should I put it, "slide" in the backstory of each guy a little better. Feels like it's a little messy with how many names get raidly introduced, but then it goes to a little information piece to one of the characters, but then more names gets mentioned but then another backstory, you get what I mean? I don't know if that's intentional but I feel like that could be done a little better. How? I don't know, you'll have to figure that one out by yourself. Otherwise, a nice little story I guess.

>>22581525
thanks for the warm words

>>22581314
Sounds like the cult of mediocrity that we're all currently suffering under.

>>22581502
Ask yourself why they would be interested in that. You're only thinking about yourself and what you can get from this audience. You're a taker. What are you giving to your reader? Have you thought about what they like and what they want to read? You say you've been with a lot of women. So what? How is that interesting for the female reader? Did you improve the lives of the women you slept with or did you just take from them? Women get plenty of that irl so why would they read about another man putting another notch in his belt?

>>22581589
Read that other anon's posts and it feels like he didn't really read it. Maybe trolling, but anyway, I would defintely read some more of that stuff.

[redacted] here
Thoughts on this spit?
https://www.docdroid.net/0Z7irvq/paxton-3-pdf

I'm writing something with a similar plotline to the King of the Hill episode "Dang Ol' Love", however it takes place over a longer period of time, with the girl who was used as a short fling being friends with the playboy before.

I'm wondering however if the spurned girl should end up with the playboy in the end, or if it's better they just remain friends.

>>22581694
y r u adapting KOTH

>>22581867
>>22581867
>>22581867