/lit/ - Literature

>>22512809
Which AI art generator should I use to make book covers?

>>22512861
dalle 2, cost some cash

>>22512866
v3 is out now.

I feel like my intro drags too much. I don't really want to trim the fat but I guess I should. It takes like 2,000 words before the immediate danger/emergency gets properly laid out. Until then it is setting up the scene/environment/character. But it feels like there is no time or room to do that once I've explained the emergency that's going on since I have to keep the pace up after that.

should you just hop into writing a novel or should you do a series of short stories first? what's the best educational experience if your goal is to publish a novel in your lifetime

>>22512886
Write a novel. The more novels you write the better you get at it.

>>22512886
Neither. You first need to get to a stage where your writing is at a professional level. The best way to do this is by grinding short exercises and comparing your work to a model text (some published work similar to what you want to write that you enjoyed reading). The exercises should be things like description, dialogue, openings, endings, summaries, character introductions etc. You grind these for a while until your stuff is as good as the model and then move on to writing complete scenes using the same method. Once you can do that, you can more or less write whatever you want. You don't have to worry about novel vs. short story at that point because the story itself will dictate its length.

>>22512885
excuse me, anon, but where is it? show me
>>22512927
HUH?

>>22512886
The best educational experience is to do what you actually want to do. I made a bunch of short story abortions before I gave up and wrote the novel I put off, and I've had a lot more fun writing and don't view it as a dreadful chore.

Been attempting short stories recently. I need to work on structure and planning, so far they have basically just been stream of conscious with no long term plan for where the story is going. I have difficulty formulating a story beforehand. At least I'm getting practice writing since I am very much still a novice.

>63 pages eleven chapter and 27892 words into first volume of my series.
>Absolutely hate my writing
Well, I guess only 137 pages until I upload it online for people to read. Probably Royal Road or a similar site.

>>22513001
>I am still very much a novice
The cure to this is to read more

>>22512927
>grind exercises
or you could just improve ypur writing through actual writing

>>22513033
True! Reading more never hurts. I do read a lot and will continue to read, but I'll never learn to write without actually doing any actual writing

I'm a language agnostic programmer. I only care about structured logic. Prose is AI tier, any structured meaning can be dressed up in any number of languages or styles of prose.

A story of a man.
The man had a background that explained his reasons for being in place. Place was an interesting setting with history, challenges and mystery. The man overcome those challenges in inspiring ways while exploring some of those mysteries. There were no other people there, as it should be but place still had running trains. The end.

>>22512861
Stable Diffusion is free, and runs on your PC (assuming you have a decent nVidia-based video card).
https://github.com/AUTOMATIC1111/stable-diffusion-webui/wiki

>>22513056
You'll need other people in place to build a referential matrix, otherwise you are going to get a static and repetitive return to basis on every plot development

>>22513047
Actual writing is absolutely secondary to improving your writing.

>>22512861
Just use SD but keep in mind if I notice your art has been AI generated (1girl, huge breasts, standing) I won't even read your first sentence in your story.

>>22513001
Short stories are great learning grounds for stories you don't care much about but want to learn how to write properly.

Write to your best ability and learn from your mistakes on short stories before you commit to writing something full-length.

>>22513101
Fortunately, you're a very small market.

>>22512809
In the context of a fantasy story, would it be appropriate for a character to call someone older a "governor" as a way to show respect? "Guv'nor" is used, but I have found nothing about the full word.

what do you do when you're just not feeling it

>>22513119
force it out of ur head anyways and then rewrite it later

>>22513081
This is an interesting subject to approach with this autistic mentality, usually it's approached sentimentally but the cold mechanisms are very interesting. Sex is one of the most powerful adaptions that ever evolved, reflecting the power of cooperation in general.
You may think you like a particular music because of its inherent qualities but often a big part of what contributes to your enjoyment will be related to associations with social settings and groups you like. There is a social core to almost everything we do, even for people that prefer to be alone.

>>22513118
it's fantasy. You can do whatever the hell you w ant

>>22513155
I wasn't asking for permission, stop being an obtuse faggot.

>>22513170
Are you asking for forgiveness then faggot?
Do what you want. Ask yourself if it's appropriate. "Governor" is not much different from "chief" in that regard, could it be used interchangeably? Would it still make sense?

https://pastebin.com/GaWViyfx

posted this in a different thread, but I made a few changes. Its a weird style i was inspired to write and I cant tell if it comes off as pure schizo or I actually captured the whole "impressionistic narrative" thing

>>22513119
Alcohol and then sleep.

Or games, alcohol, then sleep.

>>22513118
I wrote a long response but somehow hit alt+4 instead of shift+e for the captcha. Sorry.

>>22513249
thanks for nothing anon

>>22513070
>tfw keep turning into a lovecraft monster while writing
Is my graphics card just too trash for this?

>>22513293
give me your prompt, i will give you fake art. i am an expert GENERATOR

>>22513293
No, your video card is fine; you just need some negative prompts for whatever you don't want, e.g. "extra limbs". There are plenty of places you can go to get hints on how to generate better images. I remember getting lots of good advice on >>>/b/ in their 'AI DEGENERATED ART' thread.

>>22513119
Like >>22513129 said, just try to force it to keep the momentum going. A long walk never hurt either.

>>22513119
Just Write
Writing is craft. Moments of inspiration are strokes of luck, not the default
Work to be comfortable with doing the work. Push through. Editing is a part of everyone's process

isn't writing childrens fiction kinda weird?

>>22513540
Not at all. Giving kids good messages is an universally good thing to do, and writing good kiddie fiction is a skill with a skill floor much higher than normal fiction.

>stop trying to write pretty prose
>stop trying to be a good writer
why is net writing content flooded with shit like this
is this equivalent of tiktoks telling people its ok to be fat and stop going to the gym? fuck you i'm not using your copyslop style just because it's what mainstream YA writers use

>>22513627
Many peoples whole world view hinges on money
If it doesnt maximize income for your time, it lacks merit
These people can be ignored

>>22513215
Not really a fan. It comes off as you're writing your own diary and random ramblings. There's no real story to it except another said virgin wanting sex.

>ctrl f "fuck"
>42 results

Is it acceptable to write in 3rd person past tense but with inner dialogue in Italicized present tense
For a dummy example (with text that should be italicized surrounded in *)
>The man was sitting on his couch when there was a knock at the door. *It's probably someone trying to sell me something.* He got up and walked to the door.

>>22513692
Have you considered not doing that and just using 'him' in place of 'me'?

>>22513692
Sounds like an old CYOA book or a text adventure video game. Not necessarily bad, but that's just what it sounds like to me.

>>22513682
Just started a new book and the first word my main character speaks is "fuck". Yes, I am proud of that fact.

>>22513694
But then the narrator and that character become on in the same

>>22513724
For that moment, yes
Shifting psychic distance is normal and helps your prose not be stiff as a board

>>22513721
The first words spoken by the MC in "The Martian" by Andy Weir is "I'm pretty much fucked."

Gardner incorporating 4chan, mates. What does this mean?

How do I judge if my prose is good or bad? I don't know what I even value in it or what I should value.

>>22513863
wait a month and read it back
if it makes you bored, even for one second, it's bad

>>22512927
>>22512914
Kill yourselves

Is not doing any research into a setting because I want it to feel orientalist based or cringe

>write a word
>realize i accidentally wrote it twice
>delete one
>realize i accidentally deleted both

>>22513978
Maybe you're just seeing double

I'm starting to like my writing bros :')

>>22513978
>write a word
>think up a better word
>replace it
>forget I then have to change the article, preposition, and verb form too
>the result is gibberish

English sucks.

>>22514010
incredibly based and whitepilled. keep going, anon.

>>22513627
Pretty prose is fine but a lot of people confuse "pretty" with thesaurus and convoluted and\or unreadably long passages without a real point.

The point is path A to B. The journey should be on a beautiful paved path lined with flowers and fountains, not a scenic route through mountains that will exhaust you immediately.

>>22514067
Unironically, is this some kind of ESL problem? Adjusting the minutia of sentence structures/grammar is largely an intuitive process for me, personally. If so, I would suggest reading more so you can internalize these concepts.

>A poor writer blames the language

>https://ponepaste.org/9316
I just hope someone likes it tbqh

>>22513692
Generally speaking, mixing tenses is frowned upon. I think that you should keep in mind whether your narrator is omniscient or limited since you probably don't want to have multiple people speaking their thoughts in italic. I've seen this done before once but that author was pretty succinct with these passages and they often took their own paragraphs; only one person's thoughts were shared at a time. It's a matter of personal choice really, if one is more correct that the other you'll surely learn it in due time.

>>22514369
NTA, but, as a native English speaker, the vast majority of errors I make are due to revising part of a sentence while neglecting to change the rest of it to match syntactically.

Is it bad that I want everyone to give their ideas on what to add to my fanasty world?

I just like having lore buildt around shared writers and what they may add

Its not that I don't have ideas or Want it written for me, I just want my lore to be little pieces of every writer.

Is this just being lazy?

>>22514498
Sounds more like you want to do a collab. But personally I don't co-write anything unless there's a contract and lack of anonymity involved.

>Mars observed the soldiers treat them with disapproval and suspicion until learning the caravan transported the Borealis family.
Is there anything wrong with this sentence?

>>22512927
cringe
>>22512988
based

>>22514591
Did the soldiers treat "them" with suspicion until they learned the caravan transported the Borealis family or did Mars learn the caravan transported the Borealis family? The subject of the sentence is unclear.

>>22514613
Thx

How do you handle metaphors?

>...as if...
>...like...
>...similar to/in a way/reminiscent of/etc... Lip
>[Doesn't use metaphors]

>>22514769
All of them. Mixing it up for different emphasis, tone etc.

>>22514769
those descriptors are for similes not metaphor. just skip the comparison aspect and directly state that it IS the thing instead of LIKE the thing.

Here's an example off the top of my head:

She smiled at him. How could she smile after giving such devastating news? He wondered. That damned smirk was a rainbow presented, as an afterthought, by a hurricane which had just leveled a town.

>>22514812
>was a rainbow presented
Reads awful, I thought it was good as a finished statement. The problem is flowing that thought in from the last one.

>get flash of inspiration
>frantically type out two pages
>re-read 30 mins later
>it's dogshit
>delete
>stare at empty page

>>22514836
It was just a simple example I wrote out in like 1 minute to explain my point in the post. Appreciate the crit though, it just needed a ;

>That damned smirk was a rainbow; presented, as an afterthought, by a hurricane which had just leveled a town.

>>22514854
Don't judge yourself so quickly.

>>22514854
A few times, I've had this exact same experience, but then several days or even weeks later I'll return to the same idea and write something that actually works. I think sometimes you need the dogshit first attempt in order to sharpen the idea. You create a dismal mess, then tear it all down, and whatever's still standing when the dust clears is the true core of the story, which at first you couldn't see.

>>22514790
>>22514812
Thanks for the insight. I probably overuse 'as if' bc I don't like using 'like' every time, but maybe it's lazy and I would be better off directly saying it is the thing.

I'm writing something from the POV of a teen (I'm much older so not a self insert) so it's rather whiney and complaining, especially about his lack of autonomy, which is stated slightly indirectly. I'm concerned readers won't like it since so many hate people whiney teens like catcher in the rye. I've toned it down so all that is interspersed between descriptions of an event involving other characters, ie plot. And I have the protagonist self reflect at the end to realize all the whining and complaining was basically unnecessary after he finds out autonomy is not given by 'authority' but granted to one's self upon realization of it.

So my question to anyone reading this is if that sounds like a decent payoff for sitting through (hopefully humorous) whining in a 5k-ish word short story? Or if whiny protagonists should just be completely avoided at all costs now a days?

Anyone else writing a second novel now?

>>22514411
I liked it. There’s a handful of typos that I didn’t have the patience to copy and paste here so just make sure you go through it carefully. But I thought you did a great job with the atmosphere and the changes in the main character’s mood when dad doesn’t come home on time and then when he gets home.

>>22514966
What was your first about? Did the finished novel look close to how you envisaged it when you started?

>>22514978
It was speculative fiction about a tech Singularity and people affected by the changes of those around them. The story almost completely changed after a few drafts, I think for the better.

>>22514965
almost anything is acceptable in a short story, and probably even in a novel if the writing’s good enough.
>And I have the protagonist self reflect at the end to realize all the whining and complaining was basically unnecessary after he finds out autonomy is not given by 'authority' but granted to one's self upon realization of it.
sounds a little too mature for a teen. maybe he just gives up on complaining and does it himself, without the story literally spelling out for the reader the lesson he learned.

>>22514411
There's a lot of amateurisms (which can be fixed in revision), but you managed to accomplish what I consider the main objectives of fiction, which are emotional transfer and the creation of the subjective fictional world. The only thing I would recommend, structurally, is to foreshadow the father earlier in the story, in the first act. It's almost like the father doesn't exist until he's mentioned by the mother. Given his role in the climax, his malevolent presence should be felt from the very beginning, even if you don't mention him explicitly (and you probably shouldn't). Something like mentioning alcohol (which fits in with the theme of disillusionment and growing up vs. still being a powerless kid etc.) with some kind of fatherly connotation--e.g maybe the mature friend's father let his boy take a sip (don't use this though, it's pretty terrible) would create another layer to the reversal later on.

It's a good story though. Reminds me of the stories in Dubliners, not only because its so clearly Irish, but because of its sensitivity and care for the characters.

How do I handle not having the main antagonist be defined in the first act of my book?

>>22515060
what do you mean by 'not defined'
you don't have to have him/her/it appear in person, but usually you want a representative antagonistic force work against the protagonistic force or there would be no conflict

Nevermind I figured out the answer

This started as an audio drama, but I ended up losing steam trying to do all the voices, so I rewrote this into a short story. Stupid basketball story

https://saddestvacantlot.blogspot.com/2023/09/basketball.html

>>22515060
What kind of story is it?

>>22514769
>[Doesn't use metaphors]
Do this if you want to appeal to literal autistics

>Me: This coverage wasn't the best.
>About my ensemble film, the seller said, "We need a protagonist."
>Much of the coverage is about which characters would make good protagonists and why.
>The seller doesn't seem to have the media literacy to be doing this.

>Seller: My coverage was more about the need for character arcs. Even in an ensemble, there need to be arcs. Sorry you didn’t find this helpful.
Once you've been reading long enough you begin to be able to tell the difference between people who do read and people who don't.

>>22514451
>Generally speaking, mixing tenses is frowned upon
but changing it to past tense seems odd since it is basically a form of dialogue, and would change the semantic meaning in some cases. It wouldn't make sense to change the tense of actual dialogue

>>22515060
I wonder sometimes about shit like this. In Star Wars IV, Luke Skywalker, the MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER, does not show up at all until like an hour into the movie. (Originally he was going to be introduced earlier, but during editing they took that scene out because it sucked and they were trying to salvage the disastrous pacing.)
Of course, if you did this exact same thing today, any editor would rebuke you with a faceful of boiling hot coffee, and if you tried to defend yourself by comparing your work to Star Wars you'd get some bullshit like "George Lucas was a creative genius exempt from the rules, whereas you are obviously not." I'm pretty sure Lucas got the same bullshit from the studio when he pitched the fucking thing.
The modern workflow seems to be serializing your first draft on the internet, and then if it garners an audience you can turn around and deal with the editors' egos once you have more leverage on your side. But this sucks, but the alternatives also suck, a lot, so maybe there are no answers and we just have to fumble in the darkness with no ground under our feet.

>>22515337
>any editor would rebuke you with a faceful of boiling hot coffee
The obvious question this raises is why are you a retarded little cuck bitch?

Will writing in a Moleskine make my writing better?

It's insane to me how hard I find it to write now. I lost my imagination at some point because I just completely stopped using it at uni and in work. Now that I have more time to myself I wanted to try writing again but, Christ save me, it's like trying to draw a car from memory that you've never seen. I have no idea how I've gotten this bad.

I'd read but I'm beginning to realise I only care to read non-fiction stuff as it stands. Has academia destroyed me?

>>22515353
Good question, anon. You've opened my eyes. I should face tank the boiling coffee, filling the room with hearty laughter, and beat the editor over the head with the table until it's reduced to splinters. Then I'll grab his unconscious body by the ankle and whip him back and forth, swinging him over my head, making huge dents in the concrete. I crack the water main. When I get tired of this I plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style. Still laughing. I never stop laughing. You can see the whites of my eyes from a mile away. The sheer bulk of my muscles breaks the sound barrier with every step. Writing is for cucks.

>>22515378
Yes.

>>22515378
Marginally (and only if paired with either a Blackwing pencil or a Visconti fountain pen), nothing like the improvement you'll see by writing on a Hermes 3000, however

>>22515437
I purchased so many black wings when I saw that Karl Kopinski uses them to draw sometimes.

>>22515402
>s-sir is my creative expression acceptable?
>please sanctify my thoughts with your holy blessings oh great editor above
>spirits of audience enter my body, it is but a vessel for your holy and correct thoughts

>>22515480
It's fine, anon. Those days are behind me. I'm not here to write anymore. I'm here to fuck your mom. My hips go plap plap plap against her thighs. I bust inside her and the sheer force blasts her head off, fragments of brain scattered around the room. You sob, stricken, trying to gather them all up and piece her back together, but I'm long gone. I saw an active volcano in the distance. No army can stop me. No borders can hold me back. I'm off to impregnate the ultimate uterus. The earth itself.

>>22515536
try hard. 2/10

>>22515542
You imply this takes effort on my part. It's as easy as breathing. Either way, you're too late. The planet cracks apart and my son is born. Together we will conquer the universe.

>>22515553
>>22515536
>>22515402
>>22515337
At first I pitied, then I sneered.

I realized I was just writing The Blair Witch but in a different setting an endless desert instead of a endless forest

what are some appealing fonts for the title on the cover

>>22515685
Redpilled haircuts should evoke associations with discipline and power with a small hint of controlled chaos.

>>22515639
who is the person talking about “my phone?” the guy back at the car or the girl in the desert? I can’t tell.

Is it a structural problem that the first dozen chapters are hyper focused on the events that transpire over a week and then there are several month time jumps between chapters afterwards or is it some other kind of problem and how do I fix it I hate niggers suck my ass.

>>22516251
doesn’t seem like a problem per se. depends on the context I guess.

>>22515280
I think that you should just use direct speech and quotation marks. Italic presents a lot of issues because it's a non-standard use to ultimately denote quotation, thus leaving in the open whether the story is narrated from a first or third person perspective for seemingly no justifiable reason other than you not knowing about direct speech.

Posted my first chapter ever on RR and webnovel(to avoid plagiarism)
what should I expect?

>>22516806
a couple views, no comments, no likes.

>>22516806
<10 views and then obscurity.
Unless you're insanely lucky or talented. Did you title your shit Based Chad Isekai [Isekai] [LitRPG] [Harem] [Cheat power] or something or the likes? No? <10 views for you.

>>22516838
BTFO, already at 12 views
Internet fame, here I come! Can't wait to be a millionaire

>>22516848
2 of my short stories, one is completed and in my opinion not very good, other is on hiatus until I can get time off and actually finish it.

>>22515004
Thanks I'll probably try that. For some reason I figure readers need it spelled out, based on my experience in my last writing group, but perhaps it's just them being picky or pointing out anything critique-able.

Whats a good ranking system for my police force group in my universe? The general idea is that the cops in this universe range from superhumans,cyborgs,mages,animal human hybrids etc. Said cops are treated like celebs/wrestlers with merchandise and such. I was thinking the ranking system is a genuine rank of authority in the force but also their worth to the megacorp that controls them.

>>22515536
kino

>>22515337
>any editor would rebuke you with a faceful of boiling hot coffee
And rightly so. Editors and publishers will always trend towards what is PROVEN to work CONSISTENTLY and RELIABLY. That doesn't mean that it is the only working formula, and I sincerely doubt many of them truly believe that it is. But when it comes to business, it's not worth taking a risk on non-standard works by unproven authors (and hell, even proven ones sometimes) without good reason.

>>22516838
so is there a website similar to RR that has a market for non-isekai litrpg slop?

>>22517131
Of course not. Unless you write gay ass erotica for women.

>>22517144
what if i label my novel Based Chad Isekai [Isekai] [LitRPG] [Harem] [Cheat power] but it's not actually any of those things and by the time readers realize that they're already too absorbed in the story to drop it?

what the fuck is "progression fantasy" is that just a pretentious way of saying litrpg?

>>22517163
It's a hollow term for a tenuous "genre." It literally just means "Fantasy story where main character gets stronger over time." That isn't even a genre, that's just the stock-image idea of the hero's journey--in most stories the protagonist is going to be improving / getting stronger / getting closer to their goal, with the exception of tragedies and subversive stories.

Anyone who unironically uses the term "progressive fantasy" is a retarded neckbeard.

Why would you post that last month?

>>22517148
Devilish and daring.

>>22517163
What other anon said already but I will throw in my 2 shekels.
>wtf you mean the MC actually doesn't stay a fixed, static cardboard cutout that's almighty from the start like Superman?: the buzzword

>>22513101
> if I notice your art has been AI generated I won't even read your first sentence in your story
Yeah same
Just open MS paint and create your own crudely drawn cover art
It will be more artistically valuable and memorable than sterile hyper-detailed AIslops will ever be

How do I come up with a cool, unique and eye-catching title for my books bros?

>>22517229
Look at good titles other people have used and then combine elements from them into an unholy chimera that offends both gods and men

>>22517235
>An Unholy Chimera that Offends both Gods and Men
That's perfect, thank you.

>>22517229
>[Noun] of [Noun Noun]

>>22517229
A good title
>Matches the tone of the writing
>Has deliberate ambiguity (without trying too hard, if you look up YA novels they'll have some ridiculous titles like "From whence our inner demons arose")
>Is not a flashing sign saying THIS BOOK IS X GENRE
>takes on new (often ironic) meaning once you've finished the book
Example, Pride and Prejudice. A simple down to earth title fitting Austen's simple down to earth narratives and prose. You do not really know what pride and prejudice means, and you can't even tell it's a romance novel, but it's an unconventional pairing of words so it draws you in. As you're reading, the title actually primes you to be on the lookout for these qualities so you immediately start to notice them as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy begin interacting.
Other examples that do all 4
>The Great Gatsby
>Ender's Game
>Lolita (at the time of publication at least, it's a lot less subtle today)
Of course there's no set in stone rules for titling, there's plenty of books in the cannon with unintriguing nondescript titles (Jane Eyre)

/wg/, is it possible to come back from going down the same road GRRM did? I used to be able to write but it feels like something short-circuited in my brain, and I'm just sort of paralyzed now and unable to make progress on anything

>>22517342
Yes, it's called discipline.

>>22517342
Did something trigger this? How long has it been going on?

>>22517349
I've always struggled with discipline if there's not some inner fire fueling me to get past the early hurdles

>>22517350
Nothing specifically triggered it. It was something that snowballed over the course of several years due burnout and a gradual shifting of personal interests. It's been about 2-3 years since I was able to make any significant progress on anything as a writer

I have decided following a deranged daydream that I'm going to churn out short fiction in podcast format with amazing speed and demonic work ethic. It is my duty to make the genre popular, and contribute to the death of the literary industry. You published bookcels will pay, you will all pay.

Is writer's block
>I don't know what to write about
or
>I know what to write just not how to write it

>>22517427
I don't know but the second one is my problem

>>22517427
That's a meaningless question. I think in general people would say the former one, but also most would agree with the latter one too. Being stuck is being stuck. Except if you are in general always stuck at one of them (or both). Then you are probably just not made for this.

>write something
>it's amazing!
>one day later
>it's shit
why

I am interested by passive voice

>>22517467
for me it's
>write something
>It's just okay
>one day later
>It's just okay

I'm starting to wonder if posting on 4chan for 8 hours a day is why I'm half-decent at writing despite not really writing anything for a few years. The problem is it also means I am permanently stuck with conversational pacing, logic, and tone.

>>22517325
Oh also I forgot the single greatest title of all time
>Atlas Shrugged
Say what you will about the contents of the book, but man is that a captivating title

>>22517471
Passive voice interests anon.

Would /wg/ give me feedback for a visual novel I wrote?
It's very amateurish so I want to improve when I write my next one.
I could dump some steam codes here.

>>22517868
NOOOOOO DON'T STEAL MY IDEA BEFORE I'M DONE WITH MINE

>>22517868
Do it, the only VNs I've played are Katawa Shoujou and a German one I can't name without getting banned

>>22517957
>a German one I can't name
Uberoderwagner?

>>22517957
It's that cunny one isn't it

>>22516182

This chapter is meant to be from the POV of the woman who has decided to walk back into town looking for a service station or somewhere they can charge a phone to call for help but it's implied later on the desert is in some of infinite loop or alternate reality trying to go for the mental degradation once thry realize everything is hopeless rather than it being some malevolent entity spoopy witch causing all the shenanigans stuff

>>22517957
Here's a bunch of Steam keys anon.
It's pretty lengthy so I wouldn't blame you if you don't finish it.
Tell me if you spot anything that you think could be improved on for our next project, in terms of writing. I'm sure there's a lot to point out.
If this thread disappears by that time then you can email it to us. Our email should be in the credits option.

92C7R-YTMH8-8R0GR
FRFIG-R0QNA-6NC2H
INH02-ZKICP-L3AFX
XCJ40-E3JNQ-D5I0K
NK275-K4VRL-ELY6D
64ECG-A2AR8-YPRCT
2NJXA-RRRCF-56BT9
R4M6L-60H87-4MRVR

>>22517427
Writer's block means you aren't organizing your thoughts. You need to have some kind of method to synthesize your thoughts into actionable tasks. There's lots of styles to overcome it, you just have to work at it until it's natural.

>>22517990
I'll give it a try.
/spoiler inb4 it fucking mogs the quality of mine and I get completely demoralized

>>22517990
>lesbians with subpar art
You are not really helping me pick it up, anon.

>>22518009
I don't like dykeshit either but I'll try and be objective.
I'm honestly mostly interested in how it flows more than anything.

>>22517990
what if i reviewed this in a youtube video? would you like that?

Which one?
>The United Nations unsuccessfully demands that La Navaja detention camp be closed.
>The United Nations unsuccessfully demands that the La Navaja detention camp be closed.

>>22518029
The second one, La Navaja is a name so the "La" here doesn't qualify as a definite article in the English language and "the" is necessary

I want to write some dnd adventures for friends. So far I have been taking modules and adapting them, removing parts or adding.

I have a general idea of some adventures. I want to flesh out. Does anyone know any decent writing AIs ?

>>22518023
Yeah of course.

>>22517049
>jewelry/precious metals
>Greek letters
>mirror another societal hierarchy (Indian castes, Roman classes, etc.)
>make your own

Or combine it, like sergeant-plebeian or cadet-bronze or something

>>22512809
just wanted to say that i''ve sold a book a day on average for the last three months without doing any advertising whatsoever. Pretty far from retiring off of this shit, but i just wanted to encourage anons who are sceptical to self publishing and feel no hope about ever getting published by a trad publisher:
Start your own publishing house, just for publishing your book. It's a bit of work, but in the end your shit will look professional and at least at first glance won't seem like amazon self publish schlock. If it looks good people will automatically assume someone with some "knowledge and experience" has approved this.

Now we all know trad publishing is only looking for LBTQHBBQ+-?? xir authors and that self publish is 99,99999 % self insert power fantasy isekai rape me amazon trannies and if you're just a reasonable person you don't wanna be associated with any of that shit. Thus - do the middle thing and you'll have a better shot at getting somewhere than any of the two other options. Good luck!

>>22518029
>The United Nations unsuccessfully demands La Navaja detention camp be closed.

>>22518085
congratulations anon, and thank you for the advice.

>>22518085
How exactly does one start their own publishing house?

>>22518043
>>22518090
I'm going with
>The United Nations unsuccessfully demands that the Navaja detention camp be closed.

>>22518096
thank you and good luck
>>22518101
A publishing house is just a company. You start your own company, just by registering in whatever rules apply for your country. It's no harder than opening a café, or any other self employed work. Your product is your book, and you can most probably gonna be able to detract some of the tax fees from production since... well that depends on where you're from i assume. On the other hand you'll need to make sure your taxes are in order so you don't accidentally commit tax fraud and shit. Like i said, it's a bit of work, but i'd say it's worth it.

>>22518085
How much did it cost you?

>>22518117
the starting of the company was free... the printing and acquiring shit and registering with distributers and stuff... i'd say a total of around €2000 i'm yurotrash, yes which is around 2000 dollares.

You people are retarded. Gardner is the best writer among you. How does that make you feel?

>>22518128
Never gave his work a solid chance before.
Just read chapter one of Call of the Crocodile. It was pretty amateurish but at least demonstrated some creative thinking.
Then I read chapter one of his latest. It was just bland, utterly lifeless. Guy isn't even famous yet and he's already churning 'em out. Sad.

The only person I showed this to found it near-incomprehensible, do you get it, /lit/? It's about that friend who never texts back even though he's always on his phone.

https://pastebin.com/34cj3rSR

Please note all text messages are italicized, and the last line should be italicized also.

>>22518080
bro naming his military ranks after league of legends ranks kek

>>22518238
Bro got me pressed cause bro is starting sentences with bro.

>>22518272
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lp_55MMMDU&ab_channel=AndrewRousso

>>22518238
I'm assuming you mean precious metals? That naming scheme is pretty common across a bunch of games

>>22517124
Newsflash, we're the writers. They're not. They don't understand what it takes to be creative. It's grossly unprofessional to roll over and obey someone who has no idea how to do your job.

The only person I showed this to found it near-incomprehensible, do you get it, /lit/? It's about that friend who never texts back even though he's always on his phone.

https://pastebin.com/34cj3rSR

Please note all text messages are italicized, and the last line should be italicized also.

>>22518449
italics doesn’t show in pastebin, at least not for me. but there’s nothing incomprehensible about it, anon.

>>22518531
You have to italicize them yourself while you're reading it

>>22518029
Neither. "Demands" implies the demand is only just made, so how can we already tell it's unsuccessful? If you want to make a news headline, I'd write
>The United Nations fails to close La Navaja detention camp.

>>22517990
VNs are 75% about art and visual direction, 20% music, and the writing is irrelevant.

>>22518684
This depends entirely on the genre.
If you're making a moege sure, but VNs like Subahibi live and die by their plot

>>22518694
Are you implying Subahibi has bad art?

There are individual exceptions to any rule, sure. Umineko has crap art, but godlike music and compelling writing make up for it. But I don't think we have a case like that here.

>>22518721
Subahibi's art is fine, but by that I meant to say that "writing is irrelevant" is clearly not the case when the most lauded VNs have good writing, or at least interesting plots. Even moege require some semblance of interesting plot or personality for the girls, good art can only take a VN so far though it's a major benefit to be sure

>>22518449

Just drop the first paragraph. Second paragraph can start the story with "I first met Tanner during..."

The idea of making this about texting is a waste of your talent. Also remove all that "typing" crap at the end of your sample and get to the point of what they are saying to each other. That's the only thing that matters.

>>22518694
>>22518721
>>22518784
If the writing was relevant they wouldn't be video games

>open document i wrote in last night
>change the font
>pretend someone else wrote it
>continue writing

my pace has improved considerably since i started doing this

>>22517990
>>22517868
Haven't played yet but that trailer is really terrible. Audio-visually dull and purely expositional.

>>22518627
That's from a technical document, it's written in the present tense to keep actions in the moment.

>>22518627
Your version could mean they sent "peacekeepers" and were rebuffed.
>unsuccessfully demands
Is clear and evokes a feeling of impotence that accurately portrays the UN as a gathering of dickless cucks that yell "demands" into the ether.

>>22518122
what language? What market?

>>22518784
People are bad at defining what they actually like. They might say they like the story, when they really mean "the way the story is presented". Which means mainly art, animation, and music. Writing in VNs is never judged purely by its own merits.

>>22519213
Still can't agree with this, but I'm not the anon making a VN, so I'll leave it up to him to decide what to do

>>22518128
Call of the Arcade was really good.

>>22513101
Agree. Not reading anything with an AI cover. It's a bad omen.

Bros, I got my first follower on RR. I'm gonna make it.

>>22519573
congrats, anon. keep it up.

>Want to have fantasy races
>Can't think of a reason to have them that making a separate nationality or culture of humans wouldn't accomplish

>>22519784
>>Can't think of a reason to have them that making a separate nationality or culture of humans wouldn't accomplish
that's most fantasy

>>22512809
How do you guys deal with writer's block? I got the introduction and the first action sequence down but I don't know how to structure the aftermath. I know it should be the easiest part after the action but for me the action was the easiest part.

>>22519823
if you don’t know what to write next, think about what your main character wants the most right now and have them go after it. if he can’t do that because he needs some information, have him go after it. if he can’t do that because he needs someone’s permission, have him go after that. etc.

>>22519823
I have always got around it by planning out my entire plot first. Before I start writing I know what each chapter and key scene is about and what elements they should cover. It took me a while to realise I'm not one of those free-flowing writings who just sit down and see where the words and characters take them.

>>22519844
>think about what your main character wants the most right now and have them go after it.
I'll have to think about that but you're right. The characters are the story and their actions move it forward. It's just like putting together a puzzle. But the thing about it though is that I want it to be realistic and not just some scripted chatter because it was ordained to move the plot forward.

>>22519864
>I have always got around it by planning out my entire plot first. Before I start writing I know what each chapter and key scene is about and what elements they should cover.
I kind of got an idea of the sequence of events that will transpire. It's just this aftermath part that's holding me back. It feels like I spent too much energy and creativity on crafting the action sequence. That's a bad habit of mine. I get so excited about the action that I get spent afterwards and don't want to write for a while.

>>22519788
You're not wrong but I'd like to not fall into that trap

>>22519784
In theory I love the idea of a fantasy setting that's actually the future and the variety in species is a result of humans expanding across space, isolating in different areas causing divergent evolution. In practice books trying to explain the why for everything in such detail don't work. It's enough for a short story, you focus on the gimmick, think about it a bit and then it's over.

>>22517427
People who don't know what to write about just don't know anything about writing or storytelling to begin with. You can spin the blandest premise into something good if you have enough skill. Writer's block, to me, is the overwhelming feeling of not being good enough/something that mentally blocks you from even wanting to put words on a page

>>22517427
For me it's
>I don't feel like writing right now

>get a wicked cold
>output plummets to 1k words a day
fuckkk right at the final stretch of this novel too

>>22516806
>webnovel(to avoid plagiarism)
Is this a real thing? Do you have to do this?

>>22518128
His sales rankings seem to be regular. I’ve been checking books from here and unsurprisingly Horror’s Call is the only thing that consistently sells. I think it’s because it’s been established as the thing most people outside of /lit/ know from here. Tourists. It’s heavily associated with /lit/ and /wg/ from the ad campaigns Gardner does and has a fuckton of entries in it. Gardner essentially memed himself into being a known author and it’s retarded. Based on what I know about him he’s actually insane.

>>22517148
They wouldn't care about your "real fiction" slop.

>>22520186
If you are popular on any other free platform they are gonna steal it and publish it under their name.
And because they are based in China they don't care about copyright strikes or taking down stolen content.

>>22520186
Yeah. Webnovel is incredibly shady when it comes to copyright. They even have clauses where if you're writing on their site and take a hiatus, they can steal your work and have someone else write it. It is one of the few sites where you can actually make good money if you hit it big, though

>>22518128
Gardner is definitely the most prolific and shameless, but that does not mean he's the best

>>22520206
>>22520238
Examples? Citations?

>>22520241
The “shameless” accusations about Gardner are all either rumors from people here or reddit. Go figure. Amazon’s rankings indicate Gardner has a fanbase who eat up his goyslop.

>>22520264
YouTube's rankings say otherwise.

>>22520274
No shit he hasn’t uploaded in months.

>>22520241
Which of gardner’s books have you read?

>>22520280
Crocodile and the newer one about Jews that I wasn't able to finish. His prose is very bad and all of his novels seem unedited

>>22517990
>Child's name is Minori

>>22518531
>>22518828
Thanks for reading it, guys. What about the actual quality of the writing? Any good?

>>22520303
I can only speaking for what I’ve read. Jigoku was a really good story and so was Ouroboros. They were leagues superior to Call of the Crocodile. It doesn’t make sense to me why Call of the Crocodile is so popular. Maybe my taste is just in the minority. I might read his newer books but I’ve heard mixed things.

>>22520357
yes, it’s good anon.

>>22520241
How do you measure this? There have been entire flash fiction compilations by teams assembled from this board. F Gardner routinely BTFO’s them. They fade away every time and F Gardner always remains.

Apparently the word "styrofoam" is trademarked. Can I still use it in my story?

flash fiction is the best practice

>>22517990
what's anon's vn called? I want a laff

>>22512885
If you need a long introduction to set up the background for your story, you're going to lose many of your potential readers before they reach the main narrative, the exciting part. Think of how you can take chunks from your introduction which you find important and sprinkle them teasingly across your writing. If you leave certain characters or relationships incomplete, you'll string the reader along into wanting to find out more about X or Y. The more points of interest you have, the better. You also don't want to rush through the action, even if you intend to make it snappy and fast-paced. It could be good to write in small breaks in the action to further color the story.

>>22512885
nothing wrong with a slow burn, but that's just the point, it's a slow burn not an entirely unlit fire.

>>22520518
Sure can. I don't think styrofoam lawyers will bitch at you. If they do, just blast them with piss or something until they crumble.

>>22520238
I've never heard of anyone make anything on webnovel, but I've heard about a lot of buckbroken authors who can't meet the terms for monetization

how's the /lit/ renaissance coming along?

>>22519141
sry, i'm a paranoid cunt so i won't say. It's a smaller country. I wish i wasn't ESL since then the market would be immensely larger. I guess paying a translator is the next step.
>inb4 let AI do it
why would anyone want to actively contribute to displacing humans at a faster rate?

>>22520772
>the /lit/ renaissance

Amazing. Half of the canon is by F Gardner.

Might repost next thread since its nearly at the post limt.

But how would I go about writing something that I want to write but has a lot of complex trauma around it and fear of protraying it wrong?

I have bipolar 1 disorder its pretty bad and I wanted to write a character with it

How do I stop limting myself and just write the character without being fearful of writng it its self.

>>22521027
>how do I portray a character with my disorder?
Write what you know and shut up and stop being a bitch about it.
If someone complains tell them to shut the fuck up and eat a dick too.

>>22521027
>fear of protraying it wrong?
If it's your life you can't really portray it wrong, just write bro

Your dumb ,fucking niggers

>>22521083
Yes massa, the dumbest gorilla nigga dere be. Sure am.

Is Wattpad the best place to post your work, in terms of potential exposure? The AI-generated Canva covers just make everything look so cheap

I want genuine feedback on my writing. Where should I post a bit of it without worrying about it getting stolen?

>>22521296
critters

>>22520769
where can I read about 'em?

>>22520276
maybe he lost the apartment & doesn't want to admit he's homeless

>>22520518
You can always refer to it as polystyrene foam.
>>22520712
YANAL. Source: asspull

>>22521226
WattPad has terrible discovery. In my experience, RoyalRoad is the most popular web-fiction site, followed by ScribbleHub.

>>22521226
In 24 hours of first time publishing on each site I got
160 views, 1 Follower, 1 like on Royal Road
63 views on webnovel
0 views on Wattpad

same content on each platform

>>22521358
No one, in the history of the world, has ever said "I take a swig from the polystyrene foam cup".

>>22521439
That's why it's called fiction.

>>22521226
I gave up on wattpad because it's all women who read trash romances.

Somehow, that still puts them above the litRPG slop enjoyers in my pecking order.

>>22513119
If I can't reach the ceeling then I push the skill floor, make my fundamentals better, focus on improving my wording, grammar, sentence construction in order to lessen the work needed during proofreading and editing the text.

>>22521439
That's how they're sold, though.
https://www.google.com/search?q=polystyrene+foam+cups
Even DuPont says cups aren't made out of Styrofoam.
https://www.dupont.com/building/styrofoam-is-not-a-cup.html
Why do you ask questions here that can be answered by Google?

>>22514498
post discord/instagram/gadugadu/fb/steam/epic games/whateverthefuck and we can get in touch bruv. I have the problem of constantly creating unnecesary lore and new ideas for no reason, without a single day of stopping. I have to curb myself, at all times, to actually forward any of my stories because I sometimes just get lost in creating and forget to actually construct a story that showcases all that I made.
I could share much of that schtuff' with you and maybe help you create some more things inside your own microcosm's brackets.

>>22521618
Based schizo. I hope you create completely deranged world like Kirkbride.

>>22521632
well I have one somewhat finished world and it features magical bio-sculpting, racial servitude, science-fiction magic, feathered dragons and occasional mutated trilobite people. Your hopes are justified.
I will probably make a comic somewhere in the future about all that stuff, if I overcome my crippling insomnia.

anyhow, how do you guys research illegal things about the setting? I need to often look up "melting point of metals" or "how long does it take for a man with a wound in [X] place to bleed out" and sometimes there is no answer on the web?
Where should I look for things like that? I've found little success on wikipedia, pinterest, facebook and other search engines.

What's the best word for describing what the blonde character is feeling here? Guilt? Shame?

https://pastebin.com/KzaaJdfr

Pls r8 yes I know it’s derivative but really the story is about space communists

>>22521714
bad wording, not very enticing to read, lacking a bait for the reader to swallow and continue reading.
It's very obvious that you are trying to sentence-craft without actually knowing the basics of english. Try writing shorter stories with a clear premise and improve in this way.
I will not read any further untill your language changes to something more refined, without the unnecesary periods and with some clearly interesting concept.

You can throw names like "Daamian" or "The forest planet Daamis IV" but they are not interesting concepts because the reader doesn't care about them and you didn't make them care.

>>22521673
>Where should I look for things like that?
Medical journals for the latter. You search things wrong.
>how long does it takes for a man with a wound in x place to bleed out
Wrong. Completely wrong.
>Hemorrhage progression in patients with [lacerations/incisions/punctures/avulsion] trauma in [X]
Better. I'm not an MD or a med student so ask one how he would look this shit up.

Melting points of metals are 100% legal and easy to find out. Just look up wikipedia. It gets fuckier with alloys.

As for illegal things, why not do actual research? Why not actually go to police and without specifics, ask the desk guy if he could give you some insights?

>>22521741
How do I make the reader care about those things? What if they’re not supposed to care and it’s more about giving a sense of the universe existing beyond just the scope of the story?

>>22521741
I havent covered all the mistakes yet, you still need to structure the writing better but I just couldn't read it any further without getting bored or simply mindlessly glancing over the letters without constructing them in my head.
It was so bad that I read it without actually consuming the media.

>>22521705
Schizophrenia. Bipolar disorder.

>>22521741
All those changes are nitpicky shit that don't change the substance. Especially the vegetation bit. What if it's literally just forest?

Hey look, I can do this too:
>gathered
Mined, extracted, taken, stripped. Look, I can shit on your choice of words too!

>>22521741
>in a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit

WHY SHOULD I CARE THAT NOT AN INTERESTING AN CONCEPT STOPPED READING

nitpicky faggot

>>22521754
Universe existing beyond the scope of the story is showcased in the small details, not front and centre. Readers need a clear perspective to see things from, be it a disembodied narrator praising the topic, an empathetic character, some object that is important and characters treat it as such.
Your three virtues should be from now on these:

Perspective estabilishment
Point showcasing
Producing quality language

>>22521761
nigga, I wrote it in a different way because I chose some kind of message to be shown in the text. Mined and extracted have two completely different connotations to them.

https://pastebin.com/H72GmpLF

>>22521771
>mfw it's just 1890–1918 period polish poetry

>>22521779
Wrong.
>ARGHH MY COUNTRY IS NOT ON MAP! I SUFFER! NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT TO LEARN A SECOND LANGUAGE!
This is how you identify Polish poetry from that time period.

>>22521714
>space communists
So, Star Trek: TNG?

>>22521806
>uneducated retard
kinda cute ngl

>>22521817
Sorry, I'm Polish.

>>22521705
the comic literally says he is confused. he’s just in denial about being attracted to her.

>>22521818
>what's mloda polska movement
your words fall on deaf ears, hogkraine impostor

>>22521808
I recall them never quite being specific enough about that. They’d mention eliminating money, but “credits” were a thing and they definitely engaged in commerce with other societies.
How did that shit work? I always felt like they mostly just wanted to skirt around “how does this society work” because the writers were more interested in the other things (alien societies, technobabble, etc.).
So what was the Federation’s tax policy?

>>22521826
>They’d mention eliminating money, but “credits” were a thing
Because of shit writing. OG Star Trek was best.
>Kirk just being a Chad making mind reading aliens uncomfortable by making them the victims of humanity's favorite past-time in his head
What a fucking character.

>>22521821
Idk, he feels like he doesn't have a right to stop her from spending time with another guy, probably cause he called her ugly before. Is that best described as guilt?

>>22521855
It's best described as schizophrenia.
>I AM NOT GAY!
>proceeds to deepthroat a cock
I don't know man, maybe BPD.

>>22521714
there’s no drama in this. it’s just a list of descriptions and events. aside from maybe the duke towards the end, there are no characters who have any motivations. this is an encyclopedia entry, not a story.

>>22521855
you are wrong. this is right:
>>22521821

>>22521858
>The 4channer cannot comprehend things unless presented in a homosexual fashion

>>22521871
you do realise that most /wg/ posters are underage ESL hobbyists with horrible self reflection skills who refuse to use things out of spite, have horrible daily schedules and can commit to a single task for very long despite being bad at it (such as hating faggots)?

>>22521878
Including yourself?

>>22521859
>this is an encyclopedia entry, not a story.
I wrote a single page short story in form of a travel guide on a cyberpunk unholy abomination of California where San Francisco, Fresno and LA sprawled so much it turned into a single city with crime rate so fucking high that it required cops in power armor to basically work around the clock clearing out megablocks (that they ignored until they had enough warrants on a pop) using an AI-powered instant identification system connected to their HUD.

Also, a law passed allowing cops to summarily execute felons with 3 felonies, including ones that weren't yet on records, but were caught committing on camera. So in other words, you could be a valid kill if you:
>were a felon (free bingo)
>had a gun (felony times two)
>pointed it at a cop (assault on an officer, felony times three)
A format ate the story though. Sad. Maybe it wasn't that good to begin with.

>>22521890
im not underage but all those things fit, I'm a very backwards person with a lot of flaws, but I try to become better, both as an artist and a human being, that's what Plato, Aurelius and God intended.

>>22521907
I am a shit person and I will never become better regardless of how much I struggle.

However, the grind continues.

>>22512809
short story about someone who goes to a 40k store and INSISTS he wants to play alone.

>>22521909
>homo pinterest image
its bro-ver
>>22521912
lol retard

>>22512809

How shit is this?

>>22521965
I am kind of grasp what you are going for with the first paragraph but that was terrible, don't do it. Cut it in 3/4.

>>22521965
work on your foundation skills, the prospect of some penance camp where two "holier than thou" retards discuss another of them is somewhat fun.

>inspired by LA Noire
>synopsis: the guy that does chalk outlines for crime scenes takes his job too seriously

https://pastebin.com/Px73Xa8Z

>>22522055
It's actually a scene about a MC being sent to a execution ground disguised as a church. MC had sex with a priest and he needed to be eliminated before the scandal breaks out.

But thank you for the corrections. I reread it and see the problems. Amazing how you miss so much until someone else points it out

>>22521323
https://critters.com/

this bummed me out. RIP to all the angels in heaven.

>>22521906
that sounds cool, and there are exceptions to every rule. a novel shouldn’t start the way that one posted above started, but a short story written as a travel guide can totally work.

>>22522114
In case you didn't find the actual one, it's critters.org

how would you write that the moon was glowing using the imagery of a lunar eclipse? Like "the moon was as bright as a lunar eclipse is dark" but better

The thoughts in popular books have passed through a million people and indirectly through me. They rarely feel fresh, they're not new to me.
Rare exceptions like the Bible and the Greeks stay fresh and full of hard to access mystery while all the others rot in the sun. One doesn't simply produce golden fruit, it has to be blessed by all the gods and devils.

>>22522188
who cares about thoughts
if you achieve excellence in craft, you'll tap so deep into your intuition that you can't help but pull out universal truths

>>22522183

>>22522085
These days, if the priest had sex with anyone but an underage boy, I think people would be relieved.

>>22522239
all of these are bad

>>22522239
Why even bother? Do you think you're helping?

>>22522264
ai replaces you

>>22522183
The moon shone with a brightness that mirrored the darkness of a lunar eclipse.

>>22522183
I would think of something better to write.

>>22522237
A thought that points to truth is still just a thought. A real universal truth can't be spoken, words can't themselves be truth. We can't speak the name of God.
If we have no insight to offer the craft doesn't matter. If we haven't spent time on independent thinking there's nothing to feed our intuition except what is already floating around in the culture, feeding everyone else. We can't produce fresh fruit in that industrial wasteland.

>>22522161
That’s impressive. You retards can’t even communicate a site properly, yet you fancy yourselves writers

>>22522292
maybe you'd give up, but I like the challenge

>>22522302
>maybe you would write a better sentence, but I challenge myself to write a bad sentence.
fine with me lmao

>>22522305
one day you'll write enough to realize that the difference between a bad sentence and a good sentence doesn't have much to do with what it's saying
you should challenge yourself to take strange, maybe stupid, ideas and shape them into interesting sentences. It's worthwhile, I promise.

>>22522315
your sentence sucks.

>>22522315
>>22522362
I meant to say your “idea for a sentence” sucks.

>>22522183
Around the rim of a lunar eclipse, the Sun thrashes against the Moon. Overtaken, smothered and beaten, the Sun still strains its reaching beams to provide for all the lives and leaves of the passionate day.
Tonight the bright Moon shines with none of that warmth nor care, but with all of the ferocity and desperation, tempered with the cold determination of night.

>>22522183
>the bright moon lit up the gay wizard orgy or whatever this story is actually about
This is the exact amount of meteorological observations required.
>the moon was as bright as a lunar eclipse is dark
However you phrase it a weirdo is saying this, it can't be a relatable narrator. If a weirdo is saying it anyway then it can be as weird and broken as you want.

>>22522404
the important part of the sentence is to convey that it's not just a full moon, it's particularly bright in a way that the wolves don't know how to react to it

How much time do I need to give myself between reading a story and writing something that takes inspiration from it? I don't want to have to wait years...

>>22522436
None.

I wish people prompt posted

>>22522422
Then what does a lunar eclipse have to do with anything? If you’re talking about when a moon is darkest, it’s during a new moon, anyway. But if you’re talking about it unusually bright, maybe the wolves are having trouble focusing in the unusual light. Birds which should be asleep are chirping. Flowers are opening up to greet a missing sun.

>>22522463
1girl, huge ass, looking back, naughty face, kitchen, naked apron, donut, whipped cream, sexually suggestive,

>>22522480
Donut AND whipped cream?

>>22522485
Where do you think the huge ass came from?

>>22522485
Yes. Everyone knows you need to fill a donut up with thick cream~

>>22522138
>that sounds cool
Thanks. Maybe I'll re-write it but I basically told the entire story already in that post.

>>22522473
I think about that Douglas Adams quote: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.” and how describing what a thing isn't can be just as or more effective than describing what it is. Like if I were to say "that actress who isn't Carey Mulligan" you'd probably accurately guess that I'm talking about Michelle Williams. I don't know if there's a word for this device, but I want to master it.

>>22522526
>a guy I sent it to claims to have it saved
Holy shit I'm gonna post it immediately, this is pretty old writing of mine and I'm curious to see it ripped apart by /lit/.

>>22522542
Except one could easily say that Adams went for a comedic effect. Even then, you’re not using a different thing to describe the moon. You’re still using the moon.
If you’re looking for ridiculous contrast, how about starting with “the night was bright as day” and then start pulling back on how maybe it’s not THAT bright, but still pretty damn bright. Or maybe reduce to “as bright as a very cloudy day.”

Any good?

>>22522707
Kind of generic, what's going on with that finger there?

Good contrast however.

>>22522707
feels like cheap erotica

>>22522718
It's AI

>>22522734
Uh-oh. Genre is high fantasy

>>22522755
>It's AI
I know it is, I'm saying fix it up.
You have a good base there but I'd add something there too. It has good contrast but there's nothing actually INTERESTING there.

Now, don't judge books et cetera et cetera I don't give a fuck. Covers are the most important advertisement right next to the title. The band makes me think hospital, not archive.

>>22522767
Don't judge a book by its cover is bullshit when applied as anything but a metaphor for people

>>22522755
The fuck? You have so many wacky AI checkpoints for high fantasy and you go with shit you could make more accurately on your own with a camera and a blackout curtain?

>>22522382
bretty gud

>>22522779
Going for minimalism. Want to cover to be focused on the curse to keep it looming over all the crazy shit that goes down in the book.

>>22517990
Looks like dogshit. Gays are bad.

>>22522800
>minimalism
A shitty fake photo of a hand isn't minimalism. It doesn't look like a curse. It looks like a fake photo of a hand for some typical YA urban fantasy.

>>22522849
>typical YA urban fantasy
As long as it doesn't look like erotica I'm good with this.

>>22522549
>he doesn't have it after all
Ripperoni pepperoni.

>>22522849
>It doesn't look like a curse.
>>22522868
This, what the fuck are you even going for? I figured some band like a hospital band or something of the like, but as I said, nothing interesting.

Keep it BIG and EYECATCHING if you add something. Use that created contrast for something.

>>22522868
No, it also looks like cheap shitty erotica. There is nothing to hook me. Might as well dispense with the "art" and use just the title. But if you're getting this defensive over an objectively bad decision it doesn't bode well for your book.

>>22523130
>>22523130
>>22523130
Now, with visible old lady nipples!

>>22523007
>getting this defensive
All I said was I'm good with it looking like typical YA urban fantasy. Calm down.

>>22523136
>getting this defensive
All I did was clarify that it also looks like cheap erotica.

>>22521705
autistic

>>22521965

It's actually not bad, anon. Keep writing, I think you have something here.

>>22521705
It's primitive ape instinct. He doesn't want to surrender any power, leverage or social status. It's not about if he's attracted to her or not or if he even has a working penis.

>>22520085
>People who don't know what to write about just don't know anything about writing or storytelling to begin with.
Can you please elaborate on this? What is it they don't know/need to know?