/lit/ - Literature

If dubs everyone itt will have a great week

>>22513325
Whoopsie daisy. Oh well

I need a woman that fills me with a burning passion. My first girl may have been schitzo but there was passion.

ATCHATZED
STRONG LIKE STONE
ATCH-AT-ZED
KILLS THE TIME
ATCH AT ZED (MIGHTY? VERY!)
ATCHATZED — ALL ALONE
DWELLS IN BLOOD, SLEEPS IN BONES. SOMETIMES (RED) SOMETIMES (WHITE) KILLS THE (TIME)
HIT THE LIGHTS.

are humans supposed to be productive? when I go home I just want to sleep

>>22513325
If dubs we will all suffer this week

>>22513333
Quads... good omen.

>>22513348
thanks God for your unluckiness

After looking a little more into dualism, I am more sure that Aristotle got it right

>>22513356
If dubs you specifically will suffer all week

what if your next novel had a giant snake

I feel bad because there's a girl I know who is genuinely a great person. Very kind, gentle, non-confrontational, virtuous. But I'm not attracted to her. She's not hideous or anything but her forehead is massive among other things. In some angles she looks cute but for the most part I can't bring myself to consistently find her attractive. Maybe I'm shallow for passing on a good person because of looks but she is not someone I could see myself kissing and caressing every night.

I want to go to law school, but I somehow feel as if I’ve already missed that boat. I don’t know if any successful law graduates who went at my age or older.

If dubs we all kill ourselves

>>22513404
It sounds like you don't have the conviction to achieve this goal. You came here for assurance, don't you read what is posted?

>>22513309
I think the best way to make /lit/ better is to have more general type threads where many can participate and trolls and non readers can’t really take part in. Threads like current reads, next reads, favorites, that type of shit. I’m convinced there are some worthwhile anons here but they’ve been beaten back into the bushes and they’re gun shy

>>22513425
if dubs we all kiss :3

>>22513309
We could all be big heroes but we all big gays in stead

unheard footfalls only sound till at last halt for good

>>22513450
Rolling :3

>>22513380
You’re being incredibly shallow. You’ll probably regret it in the future.

If digits everyone ITT gets an Egyptian waifu

>>22513427
I did not come here for assurance. I also don’t care what you think it sounds like.

I struggle to get up at 6 in the morning. I thought it was just a sleep schedule issue but I'm starting to think it's not. Before my dog passed away, I had a reason to get up early. To walk him early in the morning. I had a reason to get up. Now? I don't have any. I don't have any immediate thing to do the moment I get up.

>>22513492
I used to wake up at 5:30 to run, clean, cook breakfast, eat and read before work at 9. Then I became a remote worker who lives with his mother and now I wake up at 9 am when I’m supposed to log on.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to do your adult life over?

>>22513523
Just an anonymous comment. Don't ruin your week over it.

>>22513535
Did you not read my reply? How could I ruin my week? I didn’t even mention my age yet.

>>22513523
I'm currently staying with my parents too. Something about staying with them makes me more lethargic. I guess, its knowing they'll still take care of me that makes me more complacent.

Two hours before bedtime. I'm sick and tired and have nothing to do. I hatw this time of evening

>>22513380
you never really know about these things until you actually hook up desu. when i first met my wife i wasnt all that attracted to her looks and she was definitely less traditionally hot than my previous gfs but i gave it a try anyway. our chemistry ended up being off the charts and ive learned to love the way she looks over time. plus everyones looks eventually go to shit as they age so sex and attraction isnt the most important thing in a longterm relationship. when youre an old man you wont be thinking about her attractiveness much, youll just be grateful to have a virtuous and kind woman taking care of you. girls with good character dont come around that often desu. the alternative could be a relationship with a hotter girl that ends up being a toxic nightmare, or you could end up spending most of your nights lonely

Is it really a big deal to women if you've never dated or had sex before?

ill be at peace soon!

>>22513570
Depends on the woman.

Was talking to a zoomer who was asking me advice. He just started college and is living on campus. He called me and told me how he misses high schooll because everything and everyone he knew was in high school and how high school felt like a ready made environment for friends and fun. It was kind of jarring to hear. The things he liked about high school, like being the small and controlled environment, are the things that he loved about it, while those were the things I hated about it. When he started talking about how big and open the world is I was like "yeah that's pretty exciting right?" Turns out thats what scared him. It's just so weird the different perspectives we have.

>>22513548
Yeah. I really regret coming to my parents for help as an adult. Sometimes I wonder what I might’ve been driven to do with my life if I had nobody to depend on.

>>22513570
Maybe but it’s a big deal to women whether you use an Apple or an Android so nobody should care about what’s a big deal to women.

Rimbaud appeared to me once in my dreams. He was tall and slender, with soft, sad, angelic light blue eyes, and wild dirty blond hair almost past his ears. His face was beautiful, slightly feminine, but with a strong jaw. He radiated a passionate intensity and never broke eye contact with me as he reached out his hand and said "Leave this behind. Come with me." He was shabbily dressed, in cheap, well-worn but stylish clothes with patches sewn into it. He appeared very young, but was profoundly mature, and dominated the whole scene around him with his charisma as though in possession of a divine halo. I felt as though there were a larger presence in the room, as though he were the avatar of some potent supernatural being. It was all in his eyes, his beautiful, mournful, earnest eyes that sold me to the idea that this dream visitation was the true Rimbaud, somehow ascended.

I don't date or try to meet people because I don't see anything valuable about myself and doubt anyone would be willing to put in the effort to disprove that view.

>>22513675
I’m sure there are lovable things about you, anon.

It's been three weeks, I couldn't do it, i can't do it
I'm scared of the consequences, like an animal that learned not to touch the fire, I scared of taking any step and getting burned again.
It all goes wrong in the end, I'm scared of the consequences.

>>22513309
I suck at physics, I suck at math. I'm retarded and I can't change that.
I really wish I owned a punching bag or something like that right now.
Also, I'm finally finishing Nostromo.
I am not amused by the fact Decoud is literally me minus the betrothing and redemption.

>>22513691
I really should have just stood my ground and told my family I wasn't going to uni. Now I'm stuck studying computer engineering surrounded by people who actually want to be here and who are actually smart.

I hope he doesn't murder me.

The intellect on its own does not confer truth or wisdom, as it will rationalize a lie just as well as it would deduce one as such and it will not know the difference. The way towards truth and wisdom is through the cultivation of particular virtues of character, such as the humility to admit when you are wrong, and the courage to consider unwanted truths. Every single philosopher and even every scientist must be aware of these simple things, I believe, otherwise there will be a detrimental effect on society.

With how the base prices for games are increasing, a third worlder like me might just leave this hobby for good now. Even 50% off or more deals feels expensive now.
>you can just pirate
True, but I always enjoyed the convenience of Steam. Gaben was right about piracy being about service.

Dubs and I cry.

How do fuck do you get up in the morning lads?

>>22513767
Sleep on time. Do excercise. Don't have coffee after 6.

>>22513767
Honestly man, spite. I don't want to go quietly into that good night. Just keep repeating Invictus to myself. So far so good.

>>22513579
Sure, women love wizards.

>>22513761
why you sad, homie?

>>22513775
After 6? Like 6 pm?

>>22513744
My pet rabbit is the humblest motherfucker I know

>>22513691
You can just buy a punching bag, they aren't that expensive

Damn I am so horny for a vacation

>>22513862
Yes.

>>22513866
Give him some carrots and tell him I said hi.

>>22513872
I don't have any space to put it in.

4chan is just plebeian stock trooning out as aristocratic stock. You will never be apart of the aristocracy. You should live in accordance with your form, as a plebeian. It’s harmonious with God’s will.

AH. SHIT. FUCK.

>>22513309
Didn’t get paid this week. I guess I’m gonna have to wait to get the Alfred Alder texts.

>>22513613
This

>>22513767
Go to bed at 5 pm

I've got an idea cooking that I would like to turn into a pulp fantasy novel, maybe a comic, and I wonder if it's likely to get me smeared or publicly panned due to the setting and themes.

>Fantasy Holy War in Jerusalem
>psuedo-Christians send several armies to take control of the region due to a mix of protecting their sacred symbols and revenge on the pseudo-Arabs looting, pillaging and enslaving their own
>pseudo-Arabs want to keep their position of power going, but infighting between their various leaders and being played by pseudo-Hebrew sectants expanding their power leads to an unprecedented weak position on their behalf.
>Undercurrent of an ancient evil creature lurking close to the Holy Land that is working through people on all sides increasing the bloodshed to free itself
>Fractions of pseudo-Christians and pseudo-Arabs have to come together to deal with the Creature because their own factions are too obsessed with politicking and don't see the greater problem at hand.

In part I think who's even going to care about yet another trash novel, but you can never know.

>>22513977
I, don't care what you think.

>>22513309
What is the significance of doodling? I have very little drawing skills, but I greatly messing around with geometric shapes until I end up with a strange looking character or object that makes me laugh and imagine what situations it could be going through. But I don't know what it really means other than it's childish.

dubs and i hit her up this weekend

>>22514034
do it anyway

Serious question. How do you help catgirls with nightmares? Mine keeps needing to come in my bed and be cuddled with me to sleep.

>>22514020
Mentally ill behavior

>>22513327
>>22513325
>>22513348
>>22513356
>>22513363
If dubs, I will not visit this board for a week and won't jerk off in that time period too.

>>22513977
Aristocratic stock is currently near extinct. And better yet, aristocracy is and never was static.

>>22514069
if dubs you do the reverse

>>22513959
Yay, nice!

>>22513922
>him

I've become a white man. My grandfather crossed the Mexican border.

Turns out I was just Jewish the whole time.

anyone have any clue about dream interpretation?

>>22514131
All the things that one yearns for in live, and many of which are out of his reach are often represented in one's dreams.

>>22514095
your rabbit will never be a woman

>>22514134
Sure, but I can't understand my specific one. Looking for a Jungian interpretation. I was a samurai, fighting dozens of samurai, they started to get stronger, a new type of samurai appeared, with chips in their necks, the only way to kill them was to stick the chips in their eyeballs, killed them, looked at them laying there, they didn't have eyes anymore, just skin. The most symbolic stuff comes now, another samurai appeared, with a yellow snake around his neck helping him fight, I started to fight, but couldn't do anything as the snake was there, prayed to get that yellow snake to help me, then it coiled around my neck and was on my side fighting. That samurai now had a huge purple snake which we fought against, I grabbed it by its throat and let the smaller yellow snake bite it.

>>22514034
Just do it, bruv! Hesitation is a bitch.

>>22514034
Hesitation is also the mother of
egret.

>>22514187
*Regret
Phoneposting is rightly looked down upon.

>>22513309
I feel like someone was meant to kill me at some point in my life before this point. Like I'm a prop in a story that was meant to be defeated but lived on. Like Odysseus left some pretender behind to linger, unworthy.

>>22513776
Lebe Dein Leben Trotz Anderer!

Anyways, poll is still going on for a few more days

https://strawpoll.com/1MnwOWB80n7

>>22514130
mazel tov!

>>22513375
in a sexual way??

>>22514139

most dreams are nonsensical and incoherent. i put little stock in them, though some i consider cautionary or an ideal to consider.

i had a dream i lived in a nearby city in some cramped apartment. i was miserable. i had a dream about people i did not know, but at the same time they were all very familiar, like close friends. perhaps decent people do exist and i only have to meet them. i had a dream about a quaint town, much like mine used to be years ago. it was nice, and i thought it would be good to live someplace like that again.

dreams that are incoherent i give no consideration toward and do not read into too deeply.

>>22514280

i also dream about my career aspirations, about what i was meant to do. i dream about the woods, and other such things. dreams can show one what would make them miserable or happy more clearly than reality. this is the value i put in dreams. they are not visions of the future, but perhaps they are possibilities that one is meant to avoid or work toward.

Why is picrel true?

>>22514302
Looks Spinozist

>>22514315
It's my humble attempt at illustrating Kant's transcendental aesthetic.

breasts in motion are lactating. observing this motion is receiving lactation. women dont want this so they wear strong bras.

>sober up
>feel good for a couple of days
>feel sad and lonely
>masturbate
>reacquire the propensity to kill myself
>get fucked up for a few days
>feel good the whole time
>feel bad
>sober up

>>22514321
I haven't read Kant in forever

Just found out the idea of thematic statement.
For instance having the theme be isolation.
Having the thematic statement be something like "Isolation leads to madness"

My writing bout to be taken to a whole......nother........level

>>22514326
Anon, I went through a similar flowchart yesterday night, now I'm on "feel bad"

Anybody got any other factors overwhelmingly correlated to moodswings or manic/depressive eppies other than sleep? Lack of or the intense desire of sleep is the most reliable harbinger of moodiness for me.

>>22514467
Chronic pain?

>>22514326
>Work on my shit and wagie job
>Get tired
>Drink so I can focus while still tired
>Get horny because drunk
>Stay up too late because of drinking, spanking it and browsing or gaming
>Wake up tired, can't work well

>>22514476
Makes sense.

what do boomers mean when they call someone "mr. magoo"? i see on google it's a 50s cartoon, but what is the implication of this?

>>22514486
mr.magoo was a cartoon character of an old, blind, senile man who got into silly situations

>>22514486
Blind

>>22514483
>Drink so I can focus while still tired
Not a real thing rt

Is language a magic?

>>22514669
Snotty midwits like to pretend it is, but magic is magic. Words aren't magic directly.

hhhnnnnnngh

I’m finding modern life to be nearly unbearable, in an existential sort of way. I feel trapped, and I feel like all the opportunities and potential in life to do things which might otherwise make it worth is afforded by merit only to young people who have successfully acquired the right university credentials or else start-up wealth.

>>22514669
They can be, but it’s debated. If you’re a Roman Catholic you might literally believe that Latin is a magical language but you probably believe that every time you go to mass and certain words are spoken in a certain way, that you’re participating in a magical ritual. When a priest says “I absolve you of your sins”, for example, you accept that a supernatural process is taking place. Otherwise, the words would be pointless. So certain language spoken (or written) in a certain way might be magic.

Had to do a presentation today. I didnt become super nervous beforehand like in high school. Still I forgot half of my text and stumbled a bit. I checked in the mirror afterwards and my eyes were red. Its over at least.

>>22512112
Cheers, this is the one.

Being born in Europe, spending my entire life here I thought that this is the best it gets, I am so fortunate to be European.
These past 4-5 years though my opinion has changed. I witnessed just how corrupt the various EU institutions can get and I bet that what I'm aware of is just the tip of the iceberg. The free media is not free at all, seems that they are free to do what the state tells them to do.
There is non-stop anti-white propaganda all around me, non-stop climate change propaganda. They are telling us that there is too much CO2 in the air. CO2, the byproduct of the creation of energy, despite there being a shortage of energy. Yeah, you figure it out.
We're paying taxes up to our necks and we get fuckall out of that. Imagine paying a mandatory health insurance tax and then when you get sick you choose to go to a private clinic and then pay them out of your pocket because the state clinics (ones that your taxes pay for) are shit. That's life in Europe.
I started wondering if what I know about the rest of the world matches reality. Maybe because I was brought up under the EU school system, my worldview is just as messed up as of those that I used to think "are living in horrible authoritarian shitholes". There must be a free country somewhere.

I was walking through the city once and there was this super cute Asian girl in some sort of black lolita outfit sitting on a bench blowing bubble and just having fun, I wanted to sit down next to her and talk to her but there was a lot of people around and I didn't want them to think I was being a creep, I also didn't want to creep her out, I haven't seen her again to this day and I regret not going for it.

If dubs tomboy girlfriends for everyone

Been slowly balding the past 3 years and I want to kill myself every time I take a shower. Clumps of hair keep falling out. I also can't grow much facial hair so if I don't get married in the next couple years I'm basically fucked for life

>>22515006
if dubs, we all die one day

>>22515005
this is me but 12 times a day every day of my life

if dubs wagmi

STEVE CARRELL
IS...
BENITO JUAREZ

I can't believe how many niggers and faggots and roasties come here daily. Debilitating.

>>22515070

Become racist against black "people", literally best decision I ever made when I was like 4 years old, I was at some other kids house and they had Little Bill on which I had never seen before, it was the most garish thing I had ever seen, true culture shock, this vile black skinned creature bouncing around a wooden ship of some kind in a pirates hat, it was the first I ever saw of the negro, I was so sheltered and am very grateful for it, but my world crumbled as I watched something clearly not human imitating the play style of my kin, wearing a paper pirate hat and adventuring as though human, its knuckles at its side rather than dragging on the floor, this televized zoo, glass barrier to the dirty, the certainly less than human, the obvious disconnect that allows us to not consider ourselves when observing not for lack of empathy but due to obvious lack of humanity in the beasts that roam the technicolor landscapes drawn with visceral attention to dishonesty, I was and am haunted by what I saw and knew from that day forth I would be the most racist man on this planet, this is my charge to defend my people, to love my race, my family, my friends so much that I would never be silent about the hideousness of the nigger, the societal undoing it breathes, the violence it carries in its paws, the wire fur that adorns the skull protecting not what we'd carry inside, but something primordial and unrefined, something that drags this creature to the worst outcomes, the worst of what we'd call decisions, something without reason or purpose, existing to subsist through the goodwill of others, the charity of my wonderful and kind people the w

>>22515005
I walked to subway and saw a "sandwhich artist" lady with the biggest boobs I have ever seen. They were too big to be called boobs...
I got her number and I am flirting the SJW right out of her soul.

>>22515075
>roasties
why would they come here?

>>22515070
rerolling for the redemption of the undeserving

>>22515084
Yeah but black women are hot tho

>enter flourishing thread (numerically, not qualitatively)
>post quality is low
>subject matter interests me
>submit high effort response
>thread dies down immediately
>remains idle for half a day or longer
>...
>posting resumes where it left off
>my effort post goes completely ignored
>many such cases, it happens more often than not
why won't you guys talk to me?

>>22515070
Singles and none of us make it.

I have to admit that as a Christian, and a somewhat convinced Christian, I am struggling to reconcile the, in my view, overly pacifist tendencies within Christianity.

>>22515105
Yeah I saw your racist screed you incel retard, I'm sure you worked very hard on it.

>>22515129
Sonofabitch

>>22515105
Nuanced and well thought out posts often don’t do well here. Many are simply looking to engage in flamewars, and strong, obnoxious posts draw you’s

>>22515105
Point it out. I’ll read it and reply since I’m bored in a work meeting.

>>22515191
Ok anon it's >>22515084
Be gentle I'm trans

>>22515084
>>22515203
Most people are intuitively racist but reason themselves to professing otherwise and/or behaving as if they weren’t. So by “be racist” do you mean “act as if you are racist, because you are”?

>>22515213
Yes yes, you understand me!

I'm tired of beggars. In my country they aren't even homeless, they have a home, free good and minimum wage to live with even if they're not working. They're always trying to guilt trip me into giving them money when I'm exiting the supermarket. I'm dirt poor and I'm just buying groceries for the week, why don't you go and fuck yourself for once. It's always making me cringe hard when grown ass men ask for money. Do I look like I have money? Or maybe I look like an easy prey? Even if I had money to hand over I'll hand them to charities, not guilt tripping fuckers. Go fuck yourself.

>>22515220
Ok.

>>22514139
That's a really interesting dream. Sounds like a blast. It seems to me, that in a dream you conquer a certain weakness or a perceived flaw and make it fight for you to defeat another flaw, that cannot be conquered or reasoned with. Maybe the many samurais are the projections of you, first frail and easy to see through as being untrue, with the last one being the strongest and hardest to unmask. I'm no dream analyst, take of that you will, but I'd wake up full of inspiration to change and full of joy and energy after a dream like that. Godspeed anon.

>>22515256
I know usually my dreams are about trannies domming me

>>22515009
How old? If you are past 24 then you should be happy you made it that far.

Life feels pretty meaningless as an aspiring artist and writer, because the AI firms have made a perfect scheme to rob people's intellectual property, their skills, and put them out of the market. And it seems normies and the government are happy about this. In addition to how this affects the job market and the lives of creative workers I can't see how this all wouldn't make the world a pretty soulless place.

The sulchur had a subhumic subdur that vassilated in quartersum rhythmic sunders. Voltsworth Kendelmire, the squaqle pompmer of Hess donnage Castlemaine, invited a broodage of highboffins and tophatters to the factorizing plantage of assembelry for wargambiting. They twized their nosslehairs and tugged greedsome upon their trousal broidals at the grandmote prospectum of gavalting largemost moneymake and coinfare from the corpsegain spoilage. Kinskind and all likens of mannnery, all who stood footsproper and musclegrad, would forthsprawl hastewith into the drudgemire of bittersome wastegardens.

>>22514941
youre welcome

>>22515278
20

>>22515301
I can sympathize. I think we’re all so disconnected from like real, important, hands on work and endeavor that most things feel pretty meaningless. I have to confess that I tend to feel as if modern life is pretty meaningless.

>>22515365
glad to hear someone has similar feelings. i have almost entirely stopped using 4chan since the consensus here was that ai is cool and sticks it to the normies, even though i cant think of any thing more soulless and normie than this giant operation of hoarding peoples data and distilling it to averages you can sell and make the rich richer again.

>>22515391
AI is going to do so much for porn that no one will give two fucks what you creative types do as we'll all be enjoying personalized based porn beyond comprehension. So cry most fggt

>>22515405
sounds like a good world youre wanting us to head to. what are you even doing on the lit board calling someone 'the creative type' as an insult?

>>22515301
>AI firms have made a perfect scheme to rob people's intellectual property, their skills, and put them out of the market
but thats progress

I want grandeur and passion in my life. I want something interesting to happen. I spend all day in this room staring at this monitor. I don't know how to not do it anymore. I pack my computer away where it's hard to get and I stare at the wall.

I simply do not understand how to be human anymore. I am lost.

>>22515430
progress towards what?

>>22515434
towards sterile creativity. no one needs groudbreaking one.

>>22515438
and why is that good?

>>22515105
Most times I've made long posts, either nobody cares or it's a bad faith reply trying to bait me. Maybe people don't want to commit to essaying, maybe the posts are just shit. Sometimes you just want someone to read your thoughts and share their own in return.
It's a lonely life.

>>22515441
Progress is the inherent goal of liberalism, as a giant liberal I support new things wholly and can't wait to see things move forward

My father has leukemia. I am donating stem cells next week. My stomach hasn't stopped churning and I'm so scared he dies.

>>22515524
It's sweet that you're concerned and care, many wouldn't. You must love him. Very happy for you, even if that's an odd thing to say in response, but hopefully that outlook comforts you some via perspective

>>22515532
Thanks, Anon. He's everything I want to be as a man.

>>22515391
I actually don’t agree that is the consensus here.

>>22515431
Are you able to identify any thing you can do which would be an exciting undertaking? I often feel as if there are exactly two routes someone can take. The first is military adventurism. Basically, you have to be an elite athlete and join a special operations group or something. The second is being like a bohemian artist somewhere. That obviously requires money or else the ability to somehow secure housing without proof of income, or proof of high enough income to get out of the hood. Honestly, I cannot think of much else. Moving to Silicon Valley for the tech gold rush is read. The actual gold rush is read, as is colonialism. What’s left? I don’t know.

What do you think about asking the CEO of the company you work at for a letter of recommendation if he doesn’t even know your name but praises your work?

>>22515582
I wouldn't have the balls to, but I'd document the praise and ready a part on it for any future interviews

>>22515595
The praise is ambiguous. “Thanks to our X team for doing an amazing job”. They just don’t know there is no X team. It’s just me.

>>22515605
Id fluff it up then, say that our CEO personally praised the work I did on x project

>>22515595
>>22515605
The reason they don’t know me is because I have to go through my supervisor with things and he tries to take my credit. He makes sure the person knows his name and nobody below him is able to interact with them. If you send the CEO an email he freaks out. He is the stereotypical Redditor-middle manager.

>>22515611
I don’t think I’m ever going to apply for a job again. I’d rather not work than do another round of interviews. This is for grad school. I doubt AdComs will give a shit whether he praised me if it’s not in a Letter of Recommendation.

>>22515619
Look I don't know what any of that grad school shit means I have only worked normal jobs and got a shit bachelor's degree that required nothing of me, but way I see it you have two choices
>Ask dickhead manager for letter, he'll probably do it
>Ask CEO for letter, he might not, and then middle manager never will

I'm watching this popular Amazon tv show. It's so jarring how much woke shit is shoved in there. Theres the usual gay and interracial shit as always but lately I've noticed them forcing gender neutral language into everything. Theres some romance subplots and it's always spouse or partner. Never husband, wife, bf, or gf. And then to maintain the ambiguity, the characters will use the singular they to refer to their "spouse" so that you have no idea if the person is male or female. And then there's some characters who are inexplicably always refered to as they instead of he or she, but the writers don't even have the decency to explain why. This shit is so obnoxious. Social engineering.

>>22513583
This is how I feel whenever someone complains about loneliness. I just don't get it.

atheists sometimes say that you're a terrible person if you need the promise of heaven to do good. There are times though. The God would know that about the human being.

>>22513583
Just transfer to a small school. Are these kids retarded?

>>22515431
>I want grandeur and passion in my life. I want something interesting to happen.
I know that feeling and live it. Sadly the only fix for it involves you being more active and attempting more interesting things outaide of your home. You have to actively do things that you think someone with an interesting life would do. Forcing spontaneity even if it seems fake. Interesting things can't happen to you if you don't put yourself in new situations.

Maybe If I overload on blackpills I will end up on the other side, haha?

surely at some point Marily Manson, or whoever is in his band, they were pretty decent..?

I really wonder what is a balanced take on God being one, and me having free will. The issue is: what are the things God decides? It really seems to me like He's got this all planned out. How does He tweak reality? Cus it seems like both things need to be true at once: I get to at least have intentions, and He gets to decide.

>>22515749
Those who see Christianity that way i.e. "do good, get heaven" know nothing about Christianity.
Christianity is very radical in that it's not a religion, it's a relationship. As a Christian you were already accepted into heaven - acceptance comes first. And then you live your life.

I'm extremely anti-Semitic, like I make Hitler look like Isaac Herzog.

>>22513309
During last afternoon's deliberately prolonged sleeps (where one wakes up, feels with a certain irritation that it's not quite done, then somehow succeeds in drifting of to the full 12 hours) I had one of those alternate history dreams that are among my favorite kind of them. Nothing moderne as in The Lathe Of Heaven, nothing so redolent of amnesia, and so much more to my taste: The general air of prosperity is so amiable, and runs so much to excess, that the styles of architecture and development run the full course of human eccentricity, and exceptional social memory is so much more the rule than the exception that one almost never feels serious malice or menace, at worst only irritating delays, as one gets around, often by car with friends. Somehow the contrast between suburban and rural is immense, but satisfying either way. I remember a huge ornate mall somewhat like a 1920s movie theater, with carpeted concourses in lighting subdued as a living room's that framed stores generally brighter. You go in, and you're instantly and completely indoors despite the scale of it, no matter the weather, no matter the season. Also grassy places so quiet and remote, they'd drive any unreflective man to despair, rather than to relief. So few of the belongings within this panoply or buildings are dispersed or destroyed, that it's as if the average lifespan is 200 years or so, and wisdom is the rule rather than the exception.

>>22515791
what is the point of you existing in this world then?

I’ve been smoking cigars for years but they way they’re suddenly popular with certain groups is making me want to quit.

>>22515841
Which groups? I as well, wasn't aware it was a thing with anyone else en masse

Well, I did stop watching porn for God, even in secret. For whatever I've been parling, that's palpable.

>>22515868
>larping

>>22515868
I suppose a large part of it has been not wanting to end up like my own family, it's kind of tinged with anger.

>>22515865
The Tate brothers, the Daily Wire crowd, the trad Cath crowd, the sort of manosphere crowd in general. I don’t even dislike or care about these people but I just think it’s a bit obnoxious to be associated with them because of my habit.

>>22515888
Checked, and I get that, I'm a far rightist but my wife and her family are all super liberal so I keep it in check, but love a nice cigar, especially on the golf course on an early Friday after work

>>22515868
What do you mean by porn? I enjoy nudes, but abhor video sex, with or without sound, for the same reason I abhor red light districts: They're not nice.

>>22515888
>The Tate brothers, the Daily Wire crowd, the trad Cath crowd
These are very different crowds

What's on my mind

>>22515841
I started appreciating cigars via a racist executive relative who introduced me to them by accident. I'd also been smoking cigarettes in gay nightclubs long before then. He knew all about that but didn't care.

>>22515937
That's really nice of him. I'm racist and also hate gays, and he may have his own concerns but to disregard them is really kind

>>22515914
There’s a common thread though

>>22515914
To be clear, it’s less the Trad Cath crowd and more the YouTube Trad Cath crowd. I’m thinking here of the Pints with Aquinas guy.

>>22515900
I used to smoke on the golf course, but I’ve stopped. I’ll still have them when I’m doing things like working but not working out or playing sports. I tend to have them at football tailgates too, which I go to a few times per year.

>>22515954
His only offspring is a lesbian daughter, and he has never been anything but considerate and generous to my faggot ass.

>>22513309
>the woman I spent five years with left me two years ago
>the woman I loved after her I had to leave because I felt trapped and felt like the whole relationship was useless one year ago
>I met another woman after this, but she was fucked in the head. she was an ex-prostitute with drugs issues. we hanged out a bit but we weren't together. I did not want to have sex with her. she disappeared from my life around the months of may or june of this year, rather rapidly.

so it's already been a year since I've been truly intimate with someone, huh.

>>22513309
Sometime around 1983 I looked at the Pleiades through a few big lenses from a suburban frontyard and backyard

Delicious chandeliers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-DmMLKbT8g&list=RDMM&index=5

I need to find hobbies outside of literature, art, and history.

>>22516045
Golf anon. It's fantastic. Used club set on FB marketplace cost me $50 and my wife $25

I just culled all the unwanted books from my shelf like Adolf Hitler did with the Jews, blacks, disabled, gays, communists, political opponents, Jehovah's Witnesses, gypsies, Slavs, trade unionists, people trying to help the persecuted, etc.

I bought blackout curtains. I was there, sitting in the middle of my living room in nothing but boxers and fidgeting with a fucking curtain for 30 minutes, because I couldn't figure out where the hooks were supposed to go. I might truly be retarded.

>>22515966
Not really
>>22515970
I dont know bro. Daily Wire is a jew organization run by ben shapiro. Andrew Tate is a pimp and whoremonger. Catholics are square goody two shoes. I see no correlation

>>22516045
Stellar evolution, natural history, anything pertaining to events on the billion year time scale. Botany is also good, mathematical logic.

I came out to my girlfriend that I have a people-turning-into-bugs fetish and now she wants us to “take a break.” What does this mean?

Well bros it's 3pm. All my school work for the week is done. My friends are all busy. I have a mild cold. Wtf should I do with therest of the day?

>>22516075
If you really can't see how they all fall along the "manfluencer" continuum you're either a dumbass or being deliberately obtuse

>>22516091
Franz Kafka claims another victim

>>22513309
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovJm8kj2urk

>>22516109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRP9HvIcgq4&list=RDMMqRP9HvIcgq4&start_radio=1

>>22516095
It's about 5:15 PM where I live. I'm listening to this high-impact piece through HD 600s.

>>22516064
Kys.

>>22513325
If dubs god is good nog just hood all the time
But extra good all the time!

>>22516148
Why?

>>22516156
If dubs blacks and black apologists disappear

>>22516166
Goodbye

>>22516104
>manfluencer
So what they have in common is their primary audience is male?

I have no genuine relationships with anyone. I keep in touch with friends online, but it's surface level and obligatory. I hang out with friends but I could never confide in any of them. I don't really care about anyone and they don't care about me. I lost the only person I loved. I'm alone. I'm not sure if I'll ever form a deep connection with someone again.

>>22516166
based beyond belief
God hates niggers

>>22515791
>protestant
>doesn't know about Theosis
what did he mean by this?
>>22515749
Ask an atheist how they determine what is good. inb4 muh intuition. But of course they will just assume that you need a rulebook/checklist to not go around raping and pillaging. Being a Christian is fundamentally about partaking in the life of God and being good as He is Good - it's not rule-following

>>22513480
If dubs we get the fucking Egyptian tomboys already

>>22516201
I love black people. You're missing out. See this comedy movie trailer. I'd love to have the teacher as a wife.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9QtXGirWf0

>>22516193
if you're genuinely looking for people that are real you need to show others that you are real as well, it would be hypocritical to expect others to expose themselves to you when all you can see is their shells and all you show them is yours

>>22516165
You're obviously a primary psychopath. I hate your kind like i hate fatal diseases.

>>22516223
I've been trying to be more of an open and honest person. I was an emotionally repressed loser throughout my whole life and I started opening up recently. I just feel these relationships I maintain are meaningless, and that everything I'm doing is meaningless but that I have to continue. I wish I had someone who truly cared about me, that I could be me with and would grieve if I died.

>>22516235
How am I a psychopath for getting rid of books?

>>22516244
have you tried to get a significant other in your life, either that or get a best friend or something

Ive been sick all week so I've just stayed at home all day every day. Its driving me insane. Its crazy to think that I used to live like this for years. No wonder I was such a wreck

>>22516245
If you have to ask it's too obvious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRSNy8DcIDk&list=RDMM3gELGrupKto&index=27

>>22516247
Tried yes, I had someone I loved but it fell through. Otherwise, I haven't fared well in that department. But yes a best friend, I had one or two but they left or drifted away. So now I'm stuck with tangential relationships with no real emotional connection. These kinds of relationships would help I imagine but they aren't exactly obtainable.

>>22516270
how so, you already obtained one who you loved and 1-2 best friends, what makes you say you can't do that again and this time appreciate them better and avoid being a burden on them or whatever drove them away last time

>>22516192
It's more that they all peddle their own spin on masculinity to that audience. The common thread is that they all start from the premise, "society says it's not ok to be a man anymore."

>>22516276
I was extremely lucky to be in those situations to begin with. They fell into my lap like a shooting star. They weren't really of my own doing. You're right I should have better appreciated them, as I said I used to be very repressed and I'm an idiot so I never really showed my appreciation.
I guess my issues boil down to still being sad about my past relations and being a social incompetent. I'm not really sure how to connect with people or recreate that kind of bond and with most people I don't want to. I don't know what I'm doing.

>>22516222
Kevin heart is black, not nigger

>>22516311
such is life, read up about zen buddhism (boils down to go with the flow / don't think about it) and become okay being alone, after that everything good that comes after is just a welcome bonus and not a necessity to happiness

>but anon, if you become okay being alone, why would you need to seek company of others
that's the beauty of it, you don't, the people you meet after that are worth your time so to say will be people like yourself who do not require company of others and if people you don't like try to cling to you you can pretty heartlessly just leave them behind, it is selfish but so is everything we do as humans

>>22516062
I golf with a friend sometimes but I hate it.

>>22516077
I’ve thought about plants biology and agriculture but I’m more into animals? Should I buy a cat? A dog? A horse?

>>22516317
>black, not nigger

>>22516335
You might want to read Non-Zero by Robert Wright. Natural and cultural evolution trend towards non-zero sum games where everybody wins or loses together, making cooperation more adaptive overall and selfishness destructive and retrograde.

>>22516383
you assume that the end goal is to win instead of preparing for the inevitability of your own death and becoming okay with it before it reaches you

I just had a realization about just how sad and pathetic my life has gotten...

disappointed requires expectations, stoicism dictates that all things outside of your control should not be your concern and things within your control should be carefully tempered to have as little sway over your well being as possible
you can live in a mudhut in a forest eating fish, mushrooms and berries and still be content if you reach ataraxia, for eastern thinkers similar would be zen state where overthinking nor volatile emotions bother you anymore
stop comparing yourself to others, cease competing, accept yourself as you are flaws and all, give yourself the same kindness you would a innocent child and learn to be okay with inevitability of death

>>22516372
Personally kind of hate horses, and like cows. Cats are good if one has has rather a lot of square footage indoors and outdoors, about 8 acres indoors and outdoors.

>>22516366
That's a shame anon. In youth I never cared for it, in my mid 20s I became very attracted to things I could improve personally with and challenge myself, whether the game allows for multiple people or not the idea of pursuing a hobby solo is deeply appealing because it relaxes me. I got big in to target shooting for a while, did it every weekend for years, then and still currently weight lifting is my personal challenge and hobby, recently I started golf and though I play with my wife I just love improving my technique, mastering it. Hope you find something that makes you happy, I love challenge and feel there's more to conquer even though I'm in my mid 30s now and have some workout related injuries slow me down from time to time. Just while speaking of myself, I think the second time I went golfing I liked it so much I decided I would be the best at it, so I bought a net for my backyard, an indoor putting mat, and resolved to go frequently. After a week of non stop golf shit I went and did 18 holes instead of 9 and injured my arm, golfers elbow I think they call it though it's more forearm. For 7 months now I can't quite lift things with my right arm in a hinge motion, like lifting a gallon of milk is too strenuous. I keep weight lifting so it won't heal and I don't know what to do about it, but when I golf I take a bunch of Advil and power through. I still hope the be the best at it and everything I do. If you've read this far white power and God bless you and your family.

>>22516421
Well, I don’t so there goes that.

>>22516436
Maybe your form sucks. I’m actually quite a good golfer because I spent a year training with a pro. Go see a sports medicine specialist or a trainer. As for myself, I think what I need is exactly something to keep me active. Maybe I should just get really into fitness.

I have a lot of feelings of self-loathing and despair. I’m trying to get over them, but I’ve not had much success. I just really don’t like myself…

>>22515132
Become a Muslim. They’re way more violent.

>>22516436
In youth I grew used to friend you';ll never understand. I kind of loved him at first sight, his admirable calm, his almost relentless understanding.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2KnUfP7-Io&list=RDMM3gELGrupKto&index=30

>>22514021
I would like to see some doodles, it would be fun to decipher them

*** [sometimes you feel like it's all over]

sometimes you feel like it's all over
when you cut out all the trees from your poems
your thoughts are long and incoherent
you don't even try to rhyme

and the perspective of anything else
seems disconcerting
because when you lose the very possibility of perspective
then even death ceases to have any meaning

the vision of anything "after" hurts the eyes
sparks smolder in the body
at night you can hear them burrowing in your veins
like woodworms in oak bark

you think you're flying away, but it's only your pupils
you feel them expanding and the world getting smaller
you cut through the clouds, you brush against the stars
and then you disappear into space and end up

exactly as you expected from the very beginning

everything makes no sense
lowercase letters are all I have left

after all, the void won't form a poem
and I'm empty
this house is black
no one lives here anymore

and this is very terrible
that it all ends so quickly
before it even started

my mediocrity disgusts me so much
however, i have to stick to this mediocrity
because that's all I have left in life
barrenness, barrenness, barrenness...

my art is finished
but I don't want it to end

however, you have to accept defeat
and a new
completely gray life

it was good, ah!, it was good!
but now, well...
i don't care about anything anymore
i will never be young
i'm sorry, mom
that this is how it all ends

What’s the best thing to read if someone is considering suicide?

Turning the lights out to a room I won't see again. It meant so much to me. Now I must look away.

If you’re fat, should you just withdraw from civilization until you’re not fat? It feels like there’s no point in trying in your career, in your social life, being in public spaces, picking up girls, or doing any of these things if you’re fat.

>>22516467
I like cars. My car is is a 2003 Park Avenue. For a 20 year old piece of work it feels amazingly smooth at 90 MPH.

>>22516541
That’s cool, but I’m not really into cars either neither do I know much about them. I don’t hate them. I just have no interest in them at all.

Noir perfected storytelling aesthetics, This is the conclusion i came to after years of reading/watching

>>22516290
You may as well group everything that isnt neoliberalism together then

What you do today you'll have to sleep with tonight.

>>22513309
four days into fast. i am very hungry. will eat in the morning

Writers in Hollywood bitch and whine that they don’t get paid, but why should they get paid so much?

Most writing in todays media is awkward, forced, and sometimes just inexplicably bizarre. Daring scripts, vulgarity, shock value, are all thrown aside in favor of walking on eggshells and damning everything in existence as toxic.

If you want proof of what I’m saying, watch anything on Netflix. All these shows are the same. The characters are bland and most serve only to deliver political commentary or be a token.

Also writing is hardly a full-time job. These fucking people get drunk in a room for a few hours a couple days a week and whisper “yass queen” to each other while discussing how they can make their self-insert characters make communism seem appealing and morally sound.

And they want hundreds of thousands a year? Disgusting behavior.

>>22516587
The GM 3.8 L drivetrain is one of the finest pieces of work ever made. Honda or Toyota, it dpends on the line,

Is a cute gf to play Mario with sometimes really too much to ask for?

>>22516685
Ok so basically I should only buy Hondas or Toyotas?

>>22516685
I could talk cars with you anon, I had a prior Gen c class that I loved but I'm 6'2 and maintenance was rough so I traded it for a prior Gen 6 cylinder accord. It was the EX-L trim so only missing whatever touring gives it and the nav system. Sounds system sucked, speed was middling, the Mercedes was faster as were other things I tested like the very generously priced (4 years ago before things went to shit) q50, the transmission (I drive lolauto, never learned otherwise) was shit, should have known, I owned 2 RSXs prior, the battery needed constant fucking with, again, should have known per prior Honda experience
But holy shit we're the leather seats fantastic. Felt like I was sitting on a couch. Loved sitting in it, loved the space it gave me. One of the higher trim features was you could recline the seat to a full 90 degrees and sleep in it. I never slept in it, never fucked in it either sadly but I did suck some titties in it. I sold her to share a car with my new (2nd) wife, her boring Hyundai 4 cylinder. I miss my roomy accord

>>22511718
If he properly meditated enough, he might realize that there are no problems and that music is a pointless pursuit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNt09nlQILc&list=PLEAF1C6352D4F61F9

>>22516632
Nah dawg

I love black women so much it's unreal, but I'll tell you something I do not love, pizza flavored Goldfish crackers.

>>22516727
>he said to himself, out loud

>>22516755
Yah dawg

>>22516715
i was thinking the same thing the other day playing mario 3d world. it would be really fun to play with a gf who is shit at video games

/adv/

i think i'm gonna do grad school. i had been saying i'm gonna start a business, but in like two years made literally no progress on it whatsoever. granted i also work full time, but it's just not happening. grad school seems like a pain the ass but it's way easier than entrepreneurship. the professor gives a list of tasks to complete for next week and a list of stuff to memorize for the exam. you do it, you get a good grade, and you feel like you are being productive. of course, really you're just wasting time and money, but it's easier than a business where everything is up to you.

>>22513309
i am perishing

>>22513333
Same

>>22517013
Why?

>>22513309
I don't fuck around
I'm quick to blow a nigga down
I'm on the H so ain't no tellin' when I'm finna clown
I got my clip filled up with seventeen shells
And thats seventeen niggas I'ma send to hell
I got a bullet with yo' name on the fuckin' tip
So close yo' eyes as I stick this Glock between yo' lips

I guess I’m just one of these annoying people that has a take or opinion on everything and is willing to debate it.

>>22513309
Never understood why the gambling age here is 21. Always eluded me. Also the whole thing about 18 for women 21 for men in clubs. Doesn't seem logical.

>>22517053
I got in an almost argument with a friend over the fact I believe sexual reproduction should be a human right

What do you think about the relationship between finding something to dedicate your life to and age? What about the relationship between finding something to dedicate your life to and history?

Personally, I wonder if it’s something which can and should be done by certain individuals but might have to be done at a relatively early age. I also wonder if it’s something that corresponds mainly to history since for us, it seems the history of various endeavors seems to have ended.

>>22513309
Hackett Classics is such a disappointing publisher. At least for the hardcovers. So many retarded covers and subpar translations

Kino has really made the novel obsolete. Why would I work so hard to engage with a novel when I can watch a 2 hr movie and get the same feels?

>>22517141
This is like saying "why dance when you could paint a picture"
Like wtf what are you on

>>22517153
No, both are storytelling. Your analogy is off.

>gave my cheque to deposit
>bank says my signature doesn't check
They saw me right there, what the fuck. Why are they so pedantic about this? They could even call.

>>22517204
This is like saying "both use forms"
Like wtf what are you on

>>22517041
1 Cor. 1:18
For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

>>22517215
No, it’s not. You wouldn’t get it.

>>22517064
Honestly dog, I'm extremely pro life and think life is sacred and all but holy shit senpai some of these people out there need to be sterilized

>>22517227
>You wouldn’t get it.
Refuses to explain it because "Muh spoon will not be fed to you"

Not the guy you're replying to.

>>22513309
I live in the most peaceful and prosperous region of the world. No grotesque or murderous despotism has ever been here. Obviously it's some place in North America.

>>22513309
There's a level of cringe that's beyond belief and I am that cringe.
Even among a group of absolute dorks I am on the bottom.
Today i went out with my roomates.
It was a bit of forced socialization to try and break the ice with me and i only manage to harden it.
I am the most ingenuine person alive, i am incapable of sharing an authentic moment with others.
I am utterly detached, a deficient outgrowth
I failed to make basic small talk with my roommates and their friends. Sat staring vacantly wordless.
Then played bowling where i awkardly rolled gutterball after gutterball.
I consumed over half a pitcher of beer which failed to loosen me even slightly. I'm closed
I just sat yawning drinking beer staring at nothing. Feeling like nothing. Thinking about nothing.
I've never felt more estranged. I'm worried thus was some kind of last chance test that i failed.
At multiple points my roommate asks me if I'm okay. "Yeah"
I come away feeling more alien than ever like something has gone deeplu wrong..
I don't fit in.

I'm almost 32 and I've never struggled or tried in anything once in my so called life. I can't even comfort myself with the familiar fantasies of suicide as I've now a visceral internal accusation of lies incompetence cowardice shrieking at me if I even begin to think of it. I'm really at a loss. What does one do when there is nothing one can do or has ever done? I am not just powerless, but trained in powerlessness, a kind of human veal...

>>22517429
>What does one do when there is nothing one can do or has ever done?
Nothing.

>>22517420
And moatky im aware that I'm ridiculous and in trying to avoid appearing ridiculous I onky make myself look more

>>22517064
a lovely thought, so which of your sister are you willing to sacrifice to the new mandate to marry that tweaky hobo with abusive tendencies?

>>22517420
lol ur just some guy

>>22517429
Force of will. Go for a run right now. It's not a coincidence that so many men get obsessed with fitness in their 30s these days. Run and don't stop until you have a fitness goal to pursue and you can find at least 1 creative or intellectual pursuit you want to invest yourself in. You have to suffer to not feel powerless anymore.

>>22517420
This narrative runs so contrarary my experience it's delightful to me.

>>22517233
Eh suit yourself

>>22517460
The only one I have. She and I don’t get along so I wouldn’t care

>>22517489
anon the point is that your plan requires forcing people to mate / marry with people who they don't want to and no one in their right mind would support that kind of thing if it meant that their family members would be forced to marry some abusive involuntary celibate dude
do you want to know what your participation in civilization entitle you to, literally the paycheck you're able to negotiate out of it, that's it that's all you get, what do you get for following laws? you get to keep your freedom, that's all you get
lets say you're unhappy with the arrangement, the paycheck is not enough to motivate, quit your job, you want to do illegal things, risk the consequences and you can break the law
it really is that simple, that's why there are murderers and rapists and thieves, why there are homeless and the unemployed, you already knew this but i wanted to point it out when you tried to reach to the cookie jar to get extra
50% of the population don't owe you sex or love or happy marriage, you need to convince these gremlins that you're worth their time and they can still cheat on you, steal half of your shit and take your kids away, don't like it? don't date them
the idea of "government mandated waifu's" is a dystopia and anyone with sisters that they actually like would oppose that kind of plan to forcibly marry women to involuntary celibate men because those guys are celibate against their will for a damn good reason, probably because they're entitled petulant tards that think the government should get involved in matters of mating

>>22517050
I in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tsfJn8YdwQ&list=RDMM&index=1ride a rather magnificent car.

I am too retarded to pass 3rd party """psychometric assessment""" for jobs I am otherwise qualified for. HR roasties keep filtering me with these stupid fucking shape rotating games and pokemon mystery dungeon personality quizzes

Any time I try to write anything - personal or mundane - there is a 90% chance my eyes will well up with tears. I don't sob, I just cry. I only sob when I begin to think about my dad, and I really primarily only get really sad for the sake of my mom, being alone after 41 years of marriage. It's sad. It's sad to lose something. Everyone has to do it, but that doesn't make it any easier. But the crying isn't always because of dad, it just always leads there. I'd add "somehow", but it makes sense to me, so there's no real somehow or for some reason about it. If people write through the tears - the constant tears - I wouldn't know how to do it. I don't think it's for me. I also theorize that by regularly closing myself off from feeling anything - serialized anime, Frasier from start to finish for the 500th time, getting high on solventless full-melt cannabis concentrates - the second I do feel anything it becomes magnified and unnavigable. And the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone about it. Then, thinking, there's no use being hard on myself and repeating the whole process until the tears well up again, and I'm getting high, and I don't even know if I'm actually getting high anymore. When I was 16 I'd sit in my bathroom in complete darkness, blast Modest Mouse's Lonesome Crowded West, blow small billows of pot inconspicuously out of the window, and emerge from the bathroom as what felt like a new man. Now I'm just old, my dad's dead, my mom's a big girl but I suspect sadder than I could ever be, and that I guess my biggest complaint is that I cry non-voluntarily when I attempt to write, so I don't.

>>22513309
A pair of HD600s are on my head, I''m listening to this gorgeous piece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8coDt8XiD7g

I want to die without the cringe of suicide. Wish some car would just sweep me away or some thug would get nervous as I reach for my wallet. Things are only going to get worse for me. The world wants me to suffer - perhaps forever it seems.

Hope anons are living a better life than me.

New

>>22517592

>>22517511

If you're crying when you write, that means you're touching on something that is actually meaningful to you. Keep going.

>>22517416
>North america
>Free from grotesque or murderous despotisms
If it's not Antarctica, it has had a grotesque and murderous despotism on it.
Tell me the rough state or province you come from and I'll find you something.

>>22517141
True, but novel made drama obsolete. I think what’s really tragic is that the screen probably doesn’t have any staying power and so in the end what we’ll get is nothing in particular.

>>22517429
True for most people. Only a small percentage of people have had to really be disciplined in school or work and only for a limited time, usually less than seven years. The rest have never really been tested. But I can sympathize. I’m considering joining the Army. I have absolutely no romantic notions about what the Army is. My consideration is purely pragmatic. I realize it afford training and educational opportunities for people who are capable and persistent and those opportunities can let me challenge myself. Beyond that, it’s hard to imagine what exactly would be the great challenge. I mean, I can think of bodily challenges like a sports competition or a mountain to climb, but those just don’t appeal to me.

>>22517883
Are you thinking about enlisting or commissioning?
If you have a Bachelor's or higher I strongly, strongly urge you to pursue a commission due to the higher quality of life, greater pay, better career opportunities, and overall greater prestige. As an enlisted man you will be treated like a grown child, regardless of your credentials, outside of a select set of career fields (primarily Special Forces).
I'm an infantry NCO who regularly hangs out in /meg/ on /k/ so if you're looking for more info be sure to drop by there.

>>22517487
I’ve never heard that men get obsessed with fitness in their 30s. I do think a lot of guys today find themselves at 25 and the only thing they’ve really done is graduate from college, and maybe not even that. So they’re entering their late 20s - early 30s wanting to set off on a path which they otherwise might have set off around 20.

I wish I had a really strong religious inclination. I always feel like an impostor because I never had any particularly strong inclinations until I was nearly 28. I had basically no interests or any idea what I wanted to do with my life until then and it doesn’t help that I was swimming in alcohol and drugs until I was 23.

>>22517227
Seems more like you don't get it

>>22517898
I’m not sure. I’m not even sure if I’ll go through with it. But I have a degree and multiple years of professional experience, so commissioning would be the obvious choice if I could do it and that would probably benefit me more in the long run. At the same time, I’m at an age where I basically want to get in to try it, and be able to quickly get out if I hate it. I just turned 29. So if I enter at 29-31 as an officer, I’ll be about 33-36 at separation if I don’t want to stay in, I think, and I’ll have to figure out what to do at that point. If I use the GI Bill, I don’t exactly want to be a first year graduate student at 36. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’d like to not be in that situation if I can avoid it. If I’m just going to be honest with myself, I’m not a SOF guy, not yet anyway. So it would be dumb to enlist probably. But then I also worry that if I don’t do any of this now, I’ll never get to. It’s one of those things that I really wish I did years ago. I’ll have to make a decision soon. I appreciate the advice too. Do you regret your time in the army? Do you believe it was worth it? Do you plan on leaving eventually? I’d appreciate talking to you about any of these.

I’d say I’m surprised to find an Infantry NCO on /lit/ but I’m really not. My cousin was a 11B turned Green Beret and he’s probably the most /lit/ person I’ve ever met.

>>22517979
>Do you regret your time in the army?
I don't regret joining or signing for infantry. I do regret some choices I made along the way and letting opportunities slip through my hands. I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't joined, but I also would never have gone through several very shitty and stressful experiences that probably shortened my life.
>Do you believe it was worth it?
Yes in that it helped me grow the fuck up, no in that I objectively accomplished very little during my career so far. Whether the former is worth the latter is for you to decide.
>Do you plan on leaving eventually?
Absolutely. I'm not doing the full 20 for retirement as active duty under any circumstances unless I get selected for SF or something similar. I'm currently trying to leave my major command and MOS entirely because I'm so done with how badly Big Army is managed and led.

In your situation I might consider the reserves. You'd be able to go to grad school on the government's dime, pay $50/month for health insurance as a single guy if you opt for it, get a security clearance and some sort of nebulous management experience as an officer that you could put on a CV, maybe get differential pay while on orders if your job does that, and not have to deal with the mind numbing autism of active duty or be your state governor's free labor source like the Guard. Whatever you do though, be sure to be as pragmatic as possible about it - don't join because you think you need to out of civic duty or whatever, join because it makes economic sense or helps your career or a similar reason. Holding up military service as some sort of actualization of an ideal is a surefire path to major disappointment when you actually get in uniform and realize it's high school 2.0 and that your boss is a soulless Major with four divorces under his belt.

>>22518040
Yeah, I think the Army is actually a good place to grow up if you’re smart and at least capable of hard work. That’s mostly why I regret not doing it. Commissioning is pretty much the idea way to spend your post-college years imo. I’ve talked to a lot of bets and a lot of them express frustration and regret over their time in the Army, but when I dig deeper I usually find that they have frankly delusional views about how things would’ve gone if they never joined. You know? They’re vets and now they have GI bills and they’re going to this college or interviewing for that job or maybe they’re pursuing a trade or some other thing or whatever, and they think they would’ve just done that. And my point is always “no, you wouldn’t have”. You would have went to a mediocre school, studied a mediocre degree, possibly failed out, wasted all of your time drunk and playing video games, and if you graduated you would’ve graduated into kind of shitty low paid symbol analyst jobs and you’d be taking post-bacc courses to try and improve your GPA to get into a Master’s you don’t even want or else you’d have been working overnight at a Wal Mart lol. These guys have to learn to appreciate what they did. Even if it sucked, it is considered impressive and worthwhile experience.

I’ve considered the reserves. My primary concern there is being stuck with the reserves should something kick off you know? It seems more and more like that’s a real possibility. I also feel a bit weird about just now joining the reserves at my age, but that’s not really a concern but just a hang up. But I am pragmatic. I basically believe there’s no intrinsic reason to join without a war. The motivation is basically self-advancement and possibly self-development via challenging myself. I’m growing really tired of the staleness of working life, you know? There’s no Ranger School for financial analysts or bricklayers. But yeah, you’re completely right that I can’t be idealistic. I just haven’t assessed it vs. my other options, like just going to grad school on my own dime or spending some time to vagabond or buying a farm or all these other existential fantasies that people have which I hope to make a reality before I kms.

>>22518074
The next thing to "pop off" would probably involve a draft anyway. Proxy war shit and sandbox adventures in Africa can be handled by what we have now, while war with the Chinese would be cataclysmic for pretty much everybody.
Besides, reserves has little combat arms to speak of. If you end up as something like an intel officer working with an agency you're never deploying regardless of what pops off anyway.
Good luck with things and I hope you find a good path for yourself.

>>22518258
Thanks

>>22517883
>>22517979
Do not join the military. Any understanding you think you have as to its faults is impossibly distant from reality if you still entertain the prospect at all. It is a complete waste of time and suffering. That you confess this in response to another anon's indolent career as a layabout is not an accident, the military is where subhumans go who have neither drive nor direction nor brains to do anything in the 'real world'. It doesn't matter if you are an officer or an enlisted man, the military is a daycare center for adults and any prestige associated with it is completely vestigial. Anyone worth knowing after you "get out" would only look on you with disdain for said "service".

>>22518343
>implying double dipping retirement accounts after doing 20 in an easy MOS is a bad thing
>implying easy access to cushy federal jobs post service and an easy in to clearance jobs is a bad thing
>implying differential pay is a bad thing
>implying doing easy shit like supply or HR as a reservist in exchange for $50/month healthcare isn't a solid option for some people in the Current Year
Don't get me wrong, it's very easy to believe memes and end up chipping barnacles off boats in the Navy or do 12 hour shifts of watching paint dry in a missile silo in the Air Force or whatever, but there are tangible benefits to wearing a uniform or having worn a uniform.

>>22518490
It's a mess of pottage. Maybe that's worth some people's freedom, but I'd hesitate to call them people. There's no benefit here that can't be outbid by competence in the private sector. It's always the same regurgitated lines too, as though getting a security clearance is that difficult. Every alcoholic checking luggage at the airport has one.

>>22518343
Useless advice unless you joined yourself.

>>22518602
Getting a TS clearance is basically impossible without a highly competitive PhD and research experience as a civilian…

>>22518602
There's a big difference between a basic Secret clearance and a TS/SCI with a poly on file.

Conservative women always fall for Israeli schemes like NatCon

>>22518751
I did and this is precisely why I advise against it. If you have any intelligence or ability you waste both on otherwise valuable years surrounded by idiot bureaucrats and half-retarded cretins to whom you must conform. The military is all about lowering to an agonizingly common denominator.

>>22518765
You can get TS easily after a few years working your way up to GS-12 in the federal track. It's not hard, and it requires no brains or competence of any sort, but even that will pay far better both monetarily and with experience than almost anything you can do in the military.