/lit/ - Literature

>>22484033
Previous

>>22494518
Wtf is this shitty WWOYM thread? Learn how to make one, newfag

>>22494529
I'm going to rape your mother in the mouth

I'm so disappointed with my life

Stupid thread, you are supposed to wait until the old hits italics. Mods should wipe and delete.

>>22494560
Stupid post, you're supposed to not be a raging homosexual

You want my thoughts but I'm not an arms dealer

Shittiest wwoym thread in the history of /lit/

>>22494518
how old was i when i realized philosophy was polite politics?

the more i post here the more i worry about things like the correspondence theory of truth and some posts being active dissidents against correspondence, or conditions intended to correspond to specific things. no one here wants to be a coherentist because then we would have to correspond everything to coherence, which is essentially foundationalism but at the opposite modality of atomic foundationalism. because ultimately resources outside of here are limited, and there is some import

>>22494605
Modern politics is just stupid appeal to emotions, almost all of it. Nothing of the total seriousness it had up until the 19th Century when it was done by aristocrats and mega-rich burgeois, nothing of the spirit it still had when only men were allowed to vote.

>>22494589
I hate you guys

>>22494518
unless you live on a farm, more than two cats = mental illness

>>22494658
Hey pal, I'm mentally ill regardless of how many cats I have

>>22494518
To love one's fate... a hard task. Would it not be easier if the angst one felt before life was owed to some incredible and profound cause– from having been scarred in battles against a tyrannical force, or by the sudden slip and fall from a cliff one had begun to climb to escape their most degenerative and pathetic state? The worst pain is not from having fought monsters and having discovered oneself short of the task, but when one has lived in the state where there is no distinction between states, with no ideal to worship or beast to slay or by which to be slain. Hours spent in the clutch of a godlike network, only to worship the vulgar and frivolous, drip-fed the silk of assembly line experience by way of digitized images. To answer the regenerative impulse responsible for all life at no cost, but to hear the answer so loud and insistent that it deafens the impulse and renders it a weak and mangy shadow. To engage in war and battle, and conquest, but only in its safe and repackaged form, in simulacrum stripped of all blood and danger, consigning oneself to yet another layer of illusion and becoming a non-agent in life's endeavor. When one has known this kind of existence, how can one love one's own fate?

The world into which man arrives is not apart from him but is contained in its entirety within him and he in it. For man is but a roving aperture which moves across the thing which it reflects, and if he is to achieve totality within himself, he must recognize himself within the earth. And he must know the earth not just as it is, but as it was and will be. He must learn to love his wasted hours, weeks, and years as the earth loves the vast tracts of darkness which preceded its forms. Listen! Do you hear the earth lament the eons in which all form and distinction slipped between its fingers like sand falling through hands of a wayfarer in an infinite desert? Man fears waste. Man cries, dawdles, falters in his aims, and yet the earth knows no discouragement. The trees continue on skyward, the wind sings its breathless song, and the waves assume their form and beat tirelessly upon the shore. So as the earth abides through the muck of man's waste, and sees in it a shadow of the lifeless vacuum from which it was made, man must recognize the failure of his life, in all its seeming vacuousness and futility, as kindred to the nothing from which his world arose– and as the precondition for his own being.

I’m struggling to identify a path to where I want to go because I feel like I need to check a bunch of boxes I simply don’t have the time to check.

Too many have gone Shura and there will be medieval consequences. The pillory, the hangman's square, such things will return. The killing of a prime minister in the streets is a bad omen. Children, especially the poor, they go rolling after it and yell horribly when they can't account for what they've done.

I have some spare money(about 60 euros), for books, and I cant decide how to spend them. Any recommendations frens?

>>22494693
You are suffering under the same somnolence most Westerners are currently in. Because the West has stopped being the center of the world, the Westerner can forget about the rest of the world and pretend that he is alone in his shack, much like the lonely farmer who sometimes likes to believe he is alone on this earth, the occasional gaze into the mountain peak sometimes calming his feeling of solitude, realizing that there are still higher hills to climb. But every time a rich or otherwise successful nation gets into this pitiable state of existence, it doesn't take long until an outer force makes them learn old woundful lessons again.

>>22494719
Don't forget the fall of the Roman Empire that is about to come before the Middle Ages.

Absolute Knowing? No. Absolute unknowing.

What's the DEEEAL with the Holy Eucharist? Is each wafer the entire body of Christ, or just a part? If the latter, does that mean the mass is a weekly gacha type of thing, where one week you get our Lord's left nipple, the next you get a fingernail?

I used to post in here about my work being boring and meanigless and tfw no gf just a few months ago.
Now it's completely the opposite. Be careful what you wish for!

What rope I have is a string of sharp beads biting deep into my neck. It lacks the heft necessary to smother. I throw my hands (as I often do) before any pain/or pleasure, is properly registered.

I'm navigating through life with a fraction of my senses. It's as if I'm perceiving two realities at once. Actuality and conjecture. Fairytales. I've perfected looking and not really seeing. Putting my hands to some craft and emerging, hours later, with no product to speak of.

This state of being has puzzled me for so long. And I agonized, because all I do it contemplate, analyze, and build towers of dust in my head. All sorts of theories proposed to justify my complete executive disability. Depression and anxiety. Crisis of meaning and overstimulation. Hyper-pathologized, over-estimated, exceedingly conflated theories to a very simple condition. I am lazy.

Amusing. A proper diagnosis of depression, crypto-mood disorder, le ADHD might have actually been a relief. It signals that something is wrong. Laziness, just means I'm all wrong. Where do I go from here.

I came out of a really deep depression pretty recently. I still feel sort of pessimistic most of the time, but I don’t feel that really deep gut wrenching feeling every time I wake up. Sometimes I miss that feeling and wish I could get it back. I almost miss being hopelessly miserable and lonely all the time. I almost miss having suicidal thoughts.

>>22494720
Can’t go wrong with the classics

>>22494815
Now that I think of it, I’ve been reading less too and I feel less literary, less caught up in literature if that makes any sense. Even at most my depressed I fantasized about being a great author, but right now I don’t. I wonder if there’s a connection between literature, depression, and suicide.

>>22494815
why do we allow ourselves to be miserable? theres an idea of the denial of pleasure but you have a pursuit of the denial of pleasure. what is missing from your life?

>>22494815
>I almost miss being hopelessly miserable and lonely all the time
>I almost miss having suicidal thoughts.
Why the fuck would you miss any of that?

>>22494723
I hope the lesson you speak of is edifying and not destructive.

I do not understand the essentially suicidal attitude of so many modern Europeans. They should be fighting tooth and nail to save their countries, including doing everything possible to increase their birth rates and violently opposing migrants from Africa and the Middle East. Instead they seem content to go extinct and be overrun.

What creates this attitude in someone? I do not understand this total lack of vitality in a person, let alone in a continent.

>>22494878
I don’t know. Somehow it felt good. I had an almost euophoric period coming out of it at first, but now I’m just kind of bored and numb.

>>22494924
It'll happen to every country and culture as they advance technologically, I think. The temptation of perpetual economic growth, cheap labor, welfare, and fully automated luxury gay space communism is too great for most to ignore, and the consequences thereof are not so onerous for any one person as to upend the movement towards them.

>>22494924
They don’t know what to do. The modern regime is basically a combination of professional policymakers and technocrats. They close ranks to people without the right money and credentials and they implement changes in society either through distant, obscure methods (think of how effective and yet obscure the CIA is or how important and yet obscure a piece of legislation like the Patriot Act is) or else they just let things fall about through sheer negligence. The aristocracy is gone and the typical person has neither the means nor know how to make a change, and unfortunately the legal-socio-economic structure is such that it hammers you if you deviate. Liberalism literally dehumanizes people who go against the status quo. At worst, you’re thrown into prison or assassinated. At best, you have your name dragged through the mud, your bank accounts closed, your job taken away, your kids taken away, etc. modernity puts most everyone in a pace of precarity.

So I think they just don’t know what to do or how to do it.

>>22494924
Europeans have more or less given up on their collective identities. There are no French, British, German etc. anymore. Just collectives of independent onanists. This makes any nationalist or ethnic political movements really tragic. They are based on groups that de facto no longer exist.

>>22494965
You’re kidding yourself if you think people nonetheless don’t have some lingering sense of in-group out-group. They are not blind and deaf and dumb. They know the difference between a European and an African.

>>22494972
The in-group out-group is part of human nature, so I dont think it can really be removed. But at this point its either redirected to various ideologies that differ only in aesthetics and few surface points, while essentially sharing worldview, or mutilated by focus on self and pleasure. In some countries(Britain, for example) they dont actually know the difference between a European and an African anymore.

>>22494960
I don't bring up politics in real-life circles, but sometimes I wonder, if I did, on what points would I even need to convince them? These people know that de-policing and inflationary money printing have been a disaster. They understand modern culture is trash and progressive sexual norms are an absolute travesty in all but a small number of elite cases. They know that our oncoming globalized technocracy will be a nightmare for our children to navigate and they will likely face hardship and deprivation that we never had to experience.

Yet somehow we are still talking about the same tired progressive talking points like it's 2012. The moderate liberal progressive solutions are just a few smart policy choices away from implementing the vision of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Everyone knows that radical change is necessary. Maybe communism? Even a third position?
I would take it. At least it would make the conversations more interesting and honest. At least we could pretend like we were doing something, anything, to prevent our children from having to live through a deracinated, de-personalized, inhuman, hellscape.

>>22495019
Just the usual society thisthat emotionally appealing mishmush. When will you realize that Western society has become bleaked to such a degree that people barely relate with their familiars, and the only relationship they have to the outside world is through their work colleagues and bosses? Maybe society is already dead and any attempt to change will only make this worse? The communist revolution of Russia worked (to some extent) because there was enough social cohesion for the power to be consolidated under the hands of a strong state. Unfortunately for the West, this is no longer the case. Low fertility rates, 30% of the population having no ties to the national country except for being there to gather money and invest it into their home countries (why everyone talks about brain drain in developping countries and not about money drain in the West is a mystery to me), and then you have the actual Westerners, the ones who still produce descendants, who own land in the West or at least feel attachment to their home. If any Western nation was to attempt a communist revolution and the alienation of the individual prerogatives in favour of organized statal power, it would not result in the achievement of a strong communist state, but most probably in the complete collapse of the nation with no hopes for re-construction like it happened in France during the 1790s and 1800s. The people's too lofty of their individual rights would live independently in their claimed real estates, the bourgeois classes would found organized petty republics, while the plebeian classes would either form part of a small territory claimed by the socialist state, the other half fall into the hands of the indidualist odelists and of the burgois republics. This is a hyperbolic exaggeration, nevertheless, it makes clear why there's no reason to believe that the Western Civilization in it's current form has any hopes of continuing the status quo, even a mere transformation into a socialist organized state would fail, too many disagreements between the different fractions without the hope of one group becoming more powerful than the other. All this is disconsidering the imminent threat of an outside violent agent bringing even more turmoil into a gangrenous society.

>>22495019
Those people are C.S. Lewis's “men without chests”. There is something about how their minds work, or more how their souls work, that prevents them from owning our current reality and taking the leap necessary to break faith with the institutions that produced them. They can see the crisis all around them, but they lack the will, the grounding to want to change it.

And this isn't just a problem with those who adhere to the orthodoxy of the professional-managerial class. Even those of us who have walked away from this ideological insanity, still carry the trace poisons we were raised around. We were created by the institutions of America and, as such, our hearts are too small. Even though we may go in a different direction and seek a new kind of life, we lack the raw sincerity and simplicity of passion to take the next steps.

Conservatives of the Buckley era scoffed at the idea of creating a "New Man" in the way that the fascist communists once fancied. But I do dream of a new man...

>>22494518
There is one friend whose virginity I took many years ago. I admit it was kind of cruel because I did so knowing he had strong feelings for me yet I never felt the same way. I was a bit of a slut back then and I thought we would be just having fun but he got clingy real fast. As in, he implied he saw himself married with kids with me within the next few years despite being so young. So I had to end things which I think devastated him. I do love him in my own way but definitely not romantically or anything.

Despite this. Why do I always get low key mad and insanely jealous when he is dating someone. Even though I am happily married with my own family, seeing him with other women upsets me. It feels like they're taking something that belongs to me. Or that they're damaging him because I know this isn't what he ever wanted. He's the only boy who's virginity I have taken and it really upset me when he started dating after college.

Why do I feel this way when i could never see us being together. I literally cried when I found out he got his first gf. And I feel like I die a little inside when I figured out he has been with at least 8 women when I always thought he would marry early because it was what he always wanted and saw for himself. Then on top, who knows how many girls he has been with between the ones I know about.

He is supposed to be a boy meets girl makes her his wife type. I feel so guilty that I may have destroyed his ideals and I get extremely upset seeing him with other women

I’ve somehow let my life become intolerably boring and plain and I don’t even know what to do to change it. I pretty often feel like I personally am just not worthy of any thing more.

I want to read something super weird and avent-garde. Give me recommendations.

I believe there's hidden lands north of Iceland populated with unicorns. The island is called the unicorn island. Right next to it lies Walniria, a stone-made island sometimes visited by mermaids.
In the northmost edge of Scandinavia lies a kingdom very concerned about maintaining complete secrecy and remains unknown by all the peoples of the world, except for the Sami, their natural allies.

>>22495005
They do. Some just pretend not to because for the time being they get social and professional rewards for it.

>>22495019
Most thinking people are profoundly disenchanted with modern life. They only disagree on the positive vision. But it’s worth pointing out that as far as positive visions go, very few people have organic beliefs. They belong to social groups and institution and then to latch onto whatever seems to benefit them. The same person that might be a staunch progressive now would’ve been a Nazi in 1930s Germany.

>>22495201
> . The same person that might be a staunch progressive now would’ve been a Nazi in 1930s Germany
Libshit sociology bias. Read the authoritarian character if you want to get an idea about early 20th Century post-war Germany.

>>22494972
Yep. Even "diversity" is all lip service.

It's only skin deep at max but ultimately expect them to act and think like a "white leftist". Anything else is excluded

Moving out tomorrow after being at university for a year.
I'M NOT READY FUCK FUCK I'M NOT READYFUCKFUCK

>>22495228
That people more or less respond to power is a basic fact of reality. Most people have no genuine organic opinions.

I wish I could go back to that time and feeling when I was at university up North and I had just discovered Guenon, Evola, etc. I was really into medieval stuff and esoterica.

>>22495278
Ehh, people respond to power when they find the people behind the power appealing to. The leftoid might be brainwashed and stupid, nevertheless he finds no appeal whatsoever when power is in hands of capitalists.

I got to a place so low that I couldn't even imagine myself living a normal life or being treated like a normal person. I felt like such a freak I couldn't imagine myself having a normal relationship. There was this beautiful girl who had such a strong interest in me. Ive known her for years and I'm close to her family. But my self esteem was so bad that even though she was so into me that I didnt think I was good enough for her. So I subverted myself and ruined my chances. I regret it all the time.

>>22495301
You’re fooling yourself. If you’ve ever been on the inside of any large institution, you know that people within the institution are liable to look at its leadership with suspicion or outright disdain, but they’ll nonetheless speak the same, present the same, be their yes man, blow smoke up their ass, hype them up to others, and repeat the party slogans all in an attempt to advance themselves. The reality is most people can intuitively sense what will advance them socially, professionally, financially and if it’s a matter of simply adopting an ideology, they’ll happily do it. That’s how they respond to power. They don’t actually care about the person behind the power 9/10 times.

>>22495324
Ehh, but the nature of the people when they actually are in power is always different. To make an initial distinction, some want to gather power for themselves, some want to gather power for others. You are pretending that the people are in socialist environments for the pure gatherment of power; nevertheless, people who find no appeal in socialism would never do such a thing because à priori, they entirely negate the worth of whatever sort of power can be gathered in such environments.

>>22494518
poopy poopy butt,
poopy poopy poopy butt,
poopy poopy butt,

Poopy poopy butt;
Poopy poopy poopy butt;
Poopy poopy butt;

Poopy Poopy Butt.
Poopy Poopy Poopy Butt.
Poopy Poopy Butt.

POOPY POOPY BUTT!
POOPY POOPY POOPY BUTT!
POOPY POOPY BUTT!

>>22495346
This filters midwits

I decided I like short chubby blondes more than tall skinny ones.

You ever feel paralyzed in life? Like you know what you want to do but don’t know how so you end up scrolling or gaming or doing whatever to procrastinate?

>>22495376
Nope, I have no goals in life, so all I do in my free time is scrolling and gaming.

went to the club again and didn't approach anyone as usual ffs

I'm joining clubs at my university. So far I'm in a Christian students club, the philosophy club, and an athletic club. Hoping I can stop being the asocial shut in I've always been and nake some friends for once.

I think I get bored of girls quickly because deep down I'm still in love with a girl from my university. I never had the balls to ask her out. Some of us may only have one true love in our lives.

I'm 28 years old and think I might be afraid of the dark, to the point where I can only sleep during the day.
Like, I'm not afraid of entering a dark room or going outside at night, but I can never be at ease, so when I try to sleep at night I'm really tense, and I remain tense into unconsciousness, which causes me to have bad dreams and/or nightmares and wake up every 2 hours or so.
Make fun of me.

>>22495455
You're 28? You look 12.

Imagine a visual novel adaptation of the Phenomenology of Spirit that uses the visual, choice-based nature of the medium to guide readers through the stages of dialectic until they reach Absolute Knowing in the form of a scantily-clad anime girl at the end.

>>22494518
I wish I wasn't so socially anxious around women. I feel so repulsive I can't even bring myself to meet up with girls that have agreed to go out with me. I always get ghosted in the end but in some sense it's also probably my fault.

I'm doing better than I have in years but I'm so deeply depressed from sleep deprivation I'm seeing less and less of a way out. Why the fuck did I have to pick the only flat that was starting severe building work one month into a 6th month contract. I fucked myself and I can't get out.

I wonder if anyone thinks of me ever.

>>22495101
This made me feel insanely depressed. Why the fuck do women do this?

It hurt me on his behalf to see you wound someone like this.

It's right there. I don't want to look but I know it's there. It can see me. It doesn't blink. It's coming to know itself. It's collapsing the distinction between object and subject. It's slouching towards Bethlehem to be born. To distinguish it is to mischaracterize it for it can't be distinguished but to call it the Absolute is calling it noon at midnight.

>>22495101
Take it with a grain of salt, since I'm just reading from afar, but maybe it's narcissism. Maybe despite feeling bad for him and pitying the unrequited feelings, deep down you enjoyed being wanted in that way, and now that he has moved on and you don't have any power over him you feel helpless as a result. Personally, I used to delude myself into thinking that the countless one-sided friendships I neglected were down to personal struggles and a tendency towards isolation, but really I just have strong narcissistic tendencies that make it difficult to value others and make them anything near important in my life. Or I don't know, maybe you saw something in him, not quite enough to trigger sexual attraction, but now that he's become experienced and playing the field and having others validate his worth you see him in a different light. Like I said, I can't speak with authority, but I do think you should move on.

>>22494518
It is strange. When i am incredibly tired to the point of passing out and manage to keep going my body reaches a point of perfect calm and relaxation with everhthing. Confidence is huge and things i used to be scared of stop being scary.
The other day after work and school i got on the bus and all of a sudden struck a convo with this cute girl on the bus. No anxiety or issue, just in the moment. I actually asked for her number in earshot of everyone on the bus and was rejected. I thanked her for the convo and she aaid she hoped to see me on the bus again, i got off next stop and felt good. I was rejected for the number but happy for the experience anyway.
What the fuck is this?

>>22495649
NTA but thats pretty insightful. Are your tendencies professionally diagnosed or is it personal speculation?

>>22495346
Butt poopy poop
Poop poopy butt butt
Poop poop poop

>>22495396
Have you really never had goals or is that just something you tell yourself? Most people I think want something out of life, or at least think they do and that would constitute a goal. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who sincerely wanted nothing.

it's worse to commit an evil upon one, than think evil upon many

>>22495649
Bingo. Women want to be desired. When it’s obvious they’re not or that someone is desired more than them, it sends them over the edge. Men can’t fathom this because men don’t really want to be desired like that. Men are more possessive if anything.

i very much think of the year 2016, yet i do not remember much of it.
i always thought of it as the last year that i really felt something, what exactly i felt i can not put into words.
as if the skies opened up, as if my mind opened up, as if i had the whole world by the nuts
what i am thinking now is, if it has happened then, and if it had happened to me, would it happen again, to either me or someone i know?
how reliable is it to await a divine impulse that tells one what to do?
should i trust the higher powers ?

>>22494529
>>22494560
>>22494589
This. It's obvious he arranged the cats in such a way to display a swastika. This isn't funny or cool. It's disgusting. I will not behoove OP by participating in his thread.

>>22495722
It's not 2016 anymore shit head. Basically 10 years ago. Did you step out of a time capsule or something?

>>22495628
just before i broke up with my girlfriend i made a thread on 4Chan asking how to dump her
if it helps, i will think of you anon
every now and then

>>22495722
You were young and now youre old
So probably not

>>22495728
10 years sounds uncomfortably long

>>22494518
Which book should I read next?

https://strawpoll.com/1MnwOWB80n7

>>22495695
Personal speculation, but the signs have been there for most of my life. I'm not a complete narcissist (probably because the root cause was never trauma but rather from an inflated sense of self worth from excessive praise and the like) but I am enough of one to know it. In the past I used to go out and engage in a meaningful conversation with someone (often strangers) and get deep and personal very quickly, an open and empathetic book by all appearances, but then never call and check in to see how they're doing. And it's not that I am pretending to care or feigning connection with the other person in the interaction but I am hiding the fact that I'm an emotional whore who doesn't have the capacity to value others in the long term. Out of sight, out of mind. Sometimes I think that part of it has to do with the fact that I tie my entire sense of worth to what I do– write and think– and most of the people I know are objectively not as intelligent or interesting as me, but I've had smart and talented friends in the past but I've neglected them all the same. I try to appreciate the good that comes from my tendencies and minimize the pain they will cause others.

>>22494972
>They know the difference between a European and an African.
Do they though?

What do you guys think about therapy? I've been thinking about going again.

>>22495803
It’s fun to troll my therapist and talk shit to her but I rarely go to her for help

I need to pretend I am a human being and need all of these interactions or else I'll just go batshit crazy and start saying random shit. On that side I miss my ex, because she was my outlet, my peace and a cherished moment of distraction from all of this. She had this way of coming in my arms and leaning her head on my shoulder that I really liked. Smelling her head always reminded me of home and returned me back down on earth whenever I felt overwhelmed. She was suddenly there and no one else mattered. I know it's not much to talk about a person but I really miss that fucking bitch. Fuck you Manon for leaving my life and I hope you're having fun with all of the friends I left you. I've been on my own for two years and even after rebuilding my life from the ground up I've just been restless.

I've just been restless so far. I have more real friends than I ever had at any point when I was with you, I am way more successful than before, but I don't really give a shit about all of this because I don't feel at home anywhere I live. Fuck you for showing me what true love was and ruining my life. We've changed so much but somewhere deep inside I still hope you'll reach out one day you goddamn witch.

>>22495803
I had a fairly negative experience with it when I was younger and never went back. If your issues can be solved by having someone hold your hand as you think through them then go for it but if the therapist holds a different value system than you and interprets everything you talk about through that system you're gonna have a hard time, imo.

>>22495830
That's not very nice.

no life, no dream, no love, no hope

>>22494518
I don’t think trolls exist here anymore in the old sense of the word. At least not good subtle ones

You know what, that's it.
This is the second time a lowly cashier has given me lip in the last 3 days.
Peckinpah's Straw Dogs hit it right on the head, you can't be nice and civilized with lower-class louts, you have to be firm and strict.
You don't have change for my 50 dollar bill? Not my fucking problem pal, go ask one of your coworkers, it's your fucking job. I'm not going to wait at the long checkout line for your convenience.

>>22495803
It’s hard for me to say. I tend to think it turned me into a giant pussy for a while and it also got me to use anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. I don’t think any of that was good and I ended up realizing that I had to not be a pussy and had to stop taking the pills. At the same time, I have no way of knowing if I ever would’ve come to that realization if I never went to therapy. So I don’t know.

>>22494518
WHENEVER I SEE A CAT OUTSIDE I SCREAM, CRY, AND THRASH ABOUT VIOLENTLY AND SPASMODICALLY UNTIL IT GOES AWAY AT LEAST 10 FEET FROM ME

I wish I understood my love for literature at a younger age. I would’ve studied something different at university.

It’s been hard coping with feeling like I wasted nearly 5 years of my most important years. 25-30 may as well have never happened.

>>22494518
>taking notes and planning details of the story for a book for 3 straight days
>finally have enough of a framework to get to writing
>start writing
>possibly wrote for 5 hours
>wake up the next day to my computer restarted, on log in screen
>"oh no big deal, it all autosaves, and I still have all of my notes that outline what happens"
>it did autosave like I thought, didn't lose a single bit of notes, but lost 2 pages of the first draft of the book
>"oh no big deal, I can rewrite it, and rereading my first draft, it likely wasn't as good as I thought it was either"
>start rewriting for maybe 5 minutes
>give up
>feel lost
>dont feel like writing
>2 days pass
>still don't feel like writing
>all of my notes sit open for reference, taunting me, staring me in my face on my taskbar
>all of my tabs of research sit open, reminding me that not even 2 days ago, I was fully ready to sit for over 8 hours a day every day to write a book until I lost a mere 2 pages of writing out of 10 pages written in a mere 5 hours

why? why is my brain like this? I'm already starting to consider picking up a new project that'll likely end the same. my entire lifes work is fragmented unfinished projects, some small and easy to finish if I had the motivation, some decently proportioned to my skill level and capable of being finished with slight effort and learning, and some so large that it would be impossible for myself to finish on my own. why do I do this?

Should someone feel like they ruined their life if they did poorly in college and had a mediocre job for years after? It seems like this is a giant filter.

I'm 32 and a virgin because I always thought I had to make six figures before I deserved a girlfriend.

I still don't make six figures, but I tried to have a girlfriend. She led me on and then ultimately rejected me after hinting several times that she wanted me to make six figures.

I'm going to kill myself.

>>22496107
Nah don't do it. Stay and go to therapy. Sending you my love anon.

>>22494518
---- Solaria ---
0910
Chandeleirs

Thinking almost without memory
And abstractly as I can,

Bridges are subordinate to the grid of comedy
Wherein sight or sound of man

Indicates a nature fortunate and strange
From everything described--

Sensational in intelligence of range
Or tone that elides

Almost everything but sound
Too resounding for rote.

Is this coffee does has hard drugs in it?

If you touch my coffee I will tie a noose around your neck, slit your wrists, and lower you into a tank of sharks. Got that? Don't fucking touch my coffee, or I will cut your mother's neck with a rusty shank, through, to the, spurt esophageal!, as your weak tied up dad wimpers in the corner, and rape the fucking carcass as it screeches wrapped in bloody, shit covered guts! If you fucking touch my god damn coffee, so be your nieces and nephews aunts and uncles get rained hellfire upon them. Don't make me get this over you.
Not really.

But please, stop molesting my coffee.

>>22494518
over 100 days sober and i have concluded alcohol was not the problem

>>22496095
It depends crucially on one's circumstance. I flunked out of a CS major because I'm lame at higher math, thence became a house NEET who happened to have a brilliant but depressed friend, and a father who made too much money to give a rat's about the expense, especially when weighed against the convenience of having a trustworthy driver available at all times. Comparisons of this sort aren't easy to make, since I was his only son among 5 offspring. Sometimes I think I was the only real friend he had, numerous and articulate as his colleagues were. All in all I've had a good life, if not one that goes to any plan that comes in the guidance counselor's handbook.

>>22496182
alcohol was an additional problem on top of the problem

>>22494815
Sorry to inform you but you didn't have depression. Sensations of misery and loneliness are not depression. If you had depression, you would be anhedonic and functionally incapacitated. That's like saying you wish you would lose your job and be in abject hardship and starvation again because such are the fruits of actual depression and it isn't a state one recovers from without severe psychopharmacological intervention (MAOIs or ketamine) or ECT. You're an idiot pseud that felt le sad. Even most people (mis)diagnosed with depression do not have depression. They have careers, lives, often money, and just feel sad. That isn't depression hence why they respond to agents that make no sense for depression like SSRIs which actually would make a depressed patient worse due to decreasing dopaminergic neurotransmission.

She's saying, 'Please don't touch my coffee please don't touch my coffee please please don't do it! She blazes against the retina, old fashioned images sepia, playing on the boobtube, it's a game scene and this is her form-funny bone onto pasture which smells like sprung rusty oranges. It's not my world, he's thinking of himself, as he has OJ. Next it'll Family Goose, today it's Linty Tunes and Rtn and Stump. Whatever. The fuck. She thinks the guy with the coffee cup looks goofy.

So, that guy, was deceived a handful of keys, with a bag of marbles at the gatekeeping yup, and now he's got a lot to appreciate, he's saying as he televises his playbook for a new workflow. At the top, he tells his audience he's lowly, so they switch channels, it seems there's a bunch of shit wrapped up in a ragdoll pokemon of some sort. Like, wads of dynamite, or something. Booby traps of king tuts gravity bombs, please. So, here they're, yanking it: 'Yip, YIP! Give me the god damn remote!' He sucker punches her in the solar plexus. She's going to have to do the dreadful to her daughter Sally later for this. As she contracts bowel momentae and reflexes against the leather couch, asking 'YIP! THAT'S MINE ASSHOLE, YOU CANNOT!'

'Wow, literally, a whosoever who is that gives a shit, is who.' He said, calmly. After the thunderous thrust, -his daughter- Sally wakes up. He says, 'I'm going to fucking beat your face in with a shovel (fistula) if you don't return my keys, asshole!' 'Well, Larry, if you don't suck my penis, you can fuck your dog and rape your asshole with it's will-o-the-wisp wizrod,' barely managing to get out of the way of another toss up.

Who gives a shit.

The television flashes a photo op of Abraham Lincoln on the dollar, it's some yanky bullshit with cockroaches crawling over the live feed. Gee.

'What's... your... problem?' That's the one thing on her mind. It's going to be this she's projecting at this stage around other people, begging and mocking, she feels ashamed, but no one listens.

Choccy milk, please.
I've nothing. I try to escape from this truth because it hurts, but escaping instead of dealing with it will only make things worse in the long term.
I'm a 26 years old NEET who recently graduated with an useless degree and has problems asserting himself and feeling confident. These past few years I've barely had contact with anyone besides a couple of friends I don't see regularly, a bpd ex I fortunately broke up with and a family that makes me miserable, so any social skill I had pretty much atrophied.
I don't know what I wanna do with my life. These last few years I've put some effort towards understanding myself better and realized that I've a fascination with fitness, nature and mechanical craftsmanship (things like jewelery making and watchmaking). If I could go back to college I would probably go for a degree in oceanography or other biology/geography related field.
The reason I'm telling you all this is because I wanna change, anons. I don't wanna spend the rest of my life like this. There's a ton of things I'm omitting for the sake of brevity and I've to be particularly careful about my professional future since I live in a third world country and it's very easy to get stuck with a wageslave-tier job even if you do have a degree. For now I've been focused on lifting and eating well, but I don't know what the next step is. Getting a shitty job just for the sake of having one wouldn't solve anything, but with my degree the only choice left is either studying to be a public servant or learning how to code and praying that'll land me something decent despite the lack of a degree. Barring that I've been thinking about meditating and taking classes in things I've always wanted to learn but I need money for that.
Anyway, any advice is welcome.
>tl;dr: I need you niggas to help me unJUST myself

I always reel at the cyclopian desu. Her neet daughter is mad over her cancelled prom. Sally's in trouble, Sally's did this and that to get in trouble, to get in trouble is bad, Sally is the badness killing us all. WAH WAH WAH, what a manchild. She does this to him, he keeps repeating. Actually, her psychiatrist said to her last weekend, 'you're a broken record. Get a clue. You're in our midst, with your stinking aura, slob. Listen up. Stop talking and shut the fuck up!'

You're the reason I'm sleeping around, he thinks anew, now. Because, what's it going to be, a fuckton of evidence that I beat my wife and molest children? They're trick'n shit, if anything. No, he's thinking now, holding in it's terroristic utterance only the brave and proud can hold in. So, she's got a few screws loose, whatever works for you, hon.

She's passed a slip of modafinil in the morning to keep an eye on the the kids, as her husband continues to rape her repeatedly a room over silently, but deadly.

>>22496221
yeah ofc. nothing would be solved by me returning to drinking, and i need to abstain in order to deal with the other problems. no doubt
still, it's disappointing to sober up and realize that alcohol was not the source of most of the insane behavior, just the worst extremes of it

>>22496107
Why don't you watch your favorite movie instead? Visit a zoo? Idk sometimes we made a decision too quick and emotionally.

Today, I had a job interview. I think I'll have a job in a week.

>>22496107
There is something almost otherworldly cruel about rejecting someone over their wage in this worldly state. Also there is like some 40 year old virgin in Israel and he is pretty funny. I don't remember his name though.

>>22495101
>Even though I am happily married with my own family, seeing him with other women upsets me. It feels like they're taking something that belongs to me.

That's disgusting

>>22496261
I used to smoke weed a lot, did acid 4 times, and did meth for a month, and had a bit of a problem with binge purge drinking alcohol for a few years.

at least I had the awareness that I had other problems from the start, but all it was was an attempt to see if it would solve my problems, or at least escape the problems with the soothing feeling of the drugs.

now I'm diagnosed schizophrenic, and I've worked through some of them, but it wasn't thanks to drugs. sure medications help with the symptoms, but they're not the same as abusable drugs that only numb you or make you zoom around doing nothing important to help your situation, creating their own problems.

Maybe your problems are more complicated than what a professional can help with, but that doesn't mean you give up, it means you do your own research, find what works for you, even if it takes years and you occasionally lose hope, even if it means having to accept certain things will always be a problem, you have one life and you fight to keep it, you fight to manage what works for you, you learn to return to reality and realize that even if the answer isn't normalcy or glory, there is still an answer and a way to work past it. accept your flaws, stay realistic, stay trying your hardest, stay giving yourself rest when you need it, stay here, continue to try, continue to get help, continue learning, breathing, letting yourself feel, letting yourself rest, letting yourself work, and riding the ups and downs life gives you.

tfw no daughter

>>22496277
How do you do meth fir a month and not get addicted?

>>22496280
I had a daughterfu. So cute. She cried when I left.

>>22496334
was forced to by my ex, I have no job, no money, and no connections to dealers.
withdrawals and cravings were pretty bad (yes I know nobody considers meth as having withdrawals, just cravings, I was sleeping constantly, angry when awake, and moody, what else is that considered?)

basically, never wanted to start doing it, never wanted to continue doing it, and never wanted to do it after, so I didn't keep doing it, didn't reach out to get it, and didn't know where to look if I wanted to continue doing it.

I can think of several shops near or near-ish to me that openly sell copies of Mein Kampf and for that I am grateful.

>>22496253
At 27, even as a NEET, I lived quite well, if not as well as I do now.. I've enjoyed backyard astronomy using an F8 6" telescope on an equatorial mount. My extended family in general has done quite well, and have a net worth of about 10M. I live now about 70 miles west of Chicago, in a region serene almost beyond belief. I won't tell you not to come here, because you won't be able to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knn9tZQ_qLo&list=RDMM&index=6

>>22496344
I have the misfortune to have known a lot of meth addicts who told me it's basically impossible to quit

Can women cringe?

I can't help any of you. I'm not Jesus.

>>22496362
the cravings never quite go away, though for me they're not intense enough to seek, but after that first month off of sleeping and snapping at people, it's easy(ier) (if you don't give in to cravings)

also, the longer on it, the more damaged your dopamine system, the longer it takes to recover and get dopamine from normal tasks that aren't drugs, and the more meth you need to get high.

my brothers best friend was a meth addict, and his parents are extreme meth addicts who've been doing it for over 20 years. they likely will never be sober, they act like normal sober people who dont eat after a full bowl.

>>22496374
Good thing I have Jesus and not you

>>22496370
Cringe is universal. Men and women are equally responsive to tiresome style and obvious lies--at least those who are above idiocy. See also the Kitsch Bitsch, who rises above all that.

I think sex is inherently sinful. It makes me seethe when people are having sex and having fun.

>>22496385
Sex is what it is. Let it be at its best, afternoon delights and such.

>>22496389
Sex is also highly overrated. I’ve sinned before in my life. It’s always underwhelming. I don’t think I know anyone that’s actually had “good” sex.

>>22496393
Let's just say that's it's overrated only in comparison to soaring music heard through systems high fidelity as they come. It's still not a sin, rather nice, and necessary in the long term as play is to the good life.

>>22496408
>necessary
It’s not at all

What if I don't have a tear at the end?

>>22494815
I know what you're talking about.

It's truly morbid how comforting misery becomes after a while. I remember sometime last year, depressive episode starts creeping up on me. I caught myself moving, thinking, slower and slower by the minute. I spent longer and longer stretches in bed. It clicked when I was standing in a grocery store, that I was falling back into a depressive rut and I was almost ecstatic. My exact thoughts were "My life is moving too fast. I'm becoming unfamiliar to myself. It's good to have my old self back for a bit (depressive, isolated self)".

No money for therapy. No access to meds, and no willingness to get medicated.
What now? What now? What now? Anhedonic, severely so. I look around me. No inspiration. No passion.

Isolated and disconnected. So I tab in and out from various online communities in the vain hope of filling this void in me with something. I need to do something drastic but I seem incapable of mustering enough agency to change my situation.

>>22496510
>>22496513
Glows

>>22495639
>>22495649

Trust me, I carry a lot of guilt how I treated him or how I rejected his feelings for me. I genuinely don't want him to be hurt by any of these women like that or feel he has to hurt himself by being in these relationships that obviously aren't working out. I don't even know why I feel such an anxiety over him when I hear he is with a new girl or why I still care about him a lot.

>>22495731
Not really. Why did you want to dump her? Are you happy now?

Thanks anon. I appreciate that. I find myself thinking about other posters sometimes and how their life turned out. There was one dude who had never been to a job interview before. I constantly wonder if he got the job.

>>22496774
"He was mine first"
Reminds me of that Gilmorton girl episode were Rory seduces a married man just because they dated as teenagers. Women. Make me depressed sometimes.

I'm glad you at least acknowledge how bad that was. Although maybe at the same time it was nothing to do with you. Leading him on was the main problem to be honest.

Why are canadian schools removing books publised before 2008?

>>22496824
Nignogs didn't have the right to be nignogs back then, while the troops weren't acknowledged by the state as such yet, and the faggot degenerates weren't able to call buttsex dildo sodomy with fapping a 'marriage'.

i played a moderate amount of diablo 2 as a teenager. i feel it's not a terrible metaphor for 21st century life in that there are many thousands of demons that must be exterminated, relatively little help at hand, and a largely unreactive population of NPCs.

looking to add something to my reading list - What's your favorite work of philosophy that's also relatively easy to understand?

Gotta put a bandaid on a big pimple on my forehead for today.

I did something so cringey in one of my courses many years ago. I was on fucking drugs and didn’t know what I was doing… When I think about it, I want to kill myself.

How would you cope with maybe not being as impressive or driven or successful as you want to be? When you’re really young, there’s a sense that you have time to get where you want to go, but once you reach a certain age, the reality of your life can smack you in the face… you know? If you want to be, for example, an great writer, but you find yourself at 35 and you haven’t published a thing, then maybe that’s not in the cards for you. Maybe you don’t have what it takes, even if you firmly believe you do. What do you think about grappling with that feeling? Any books about this?

>>22497015

well, let's have it then. what did you do?

I cried today, for like the first time in 15 years. It was just a couple of tears that swelled up, they didn't even get out of my eyelids, but still that's major for me.

I was thinking about how much cruelty people do to one another for shitty scraps of nothing. How willing we are to sell each other out for trinkets, be they physical or social-abstract. I was thinking about how I might actually love humanity, that previous flirtations with misanthropy were the cope of all copes. How could I love something that is so ignorant and self-destructive? Idk, but I think I do. I think there is something supremely worthy under it all, even in the blandest most mundane person there is a force for good that is worth attempting to elevate and bring about.

>>22496788
>Leading him on was the main problem to be honest.
I didn't particularly mean to. I just found it so adorable when we were making out at a party and he told me it was his first kiss and how he always wanted it to be with me. I was really shocked and surprised. Then it just escalated from there where I just wanted to give him his first everything else. I think I underestimated how it was going to affect him. I honestly thought I was doing him a favour and it was going to be all fun. I liked teaching him and letting him experiment. I wanted to make it special and an exclusive experience for him. Then the clinginess started which was sweet but then got so intense. then I had to be honest that we weren't on the same page especially when he brought up the marriage/kids stuff.

To this day when I talk to him he is still the same sweet adorable guy towards me but then when he is with those other girls he acts a bit different like it's not really him. It's upsetting to see

>>22497035
Just said something really cringey about myself in front of the class

>>22496950
Candide

If mainstream in the West is largely informed by Christianity and/or pre-modern liberalism, what book will convince me of a more Nietzschean or progressive conservatism? I have a dislike for Nietzsche but I’m open minded. Does political ideology even matter for the right anymore?

>>22497069
Elaborate. You could be giving us laughs here but you're being such a pussy. Once I shat myself while at the gym and kicked the shit into the toilet facility in front of someone (he didn't say a thing) which is far more cringey than your bullshit

>>22497163
If I say what happened, I could give away my identity, which defeats the point of an anonymous image board that I use as a diary.

>go on regular incelwalk
>see couples everywhere
>used to feel anger and say in my mind "thanks God for rubbing it in"
>now just feel a burned out husk on verge of nervous breakdown

>>22497284
Yeah bro I used to work as a cashier at an alcohol retailer every friday night. The amount of happy and excited couples coming in to get their drinks killed me inside

Do you guys bother using these productivity/ note taking apps?
I mean I usually take notes on my notebook but shit like having a to-do list and shit seems like a good idea when it doesn't look like it's schizophrenic rambling of a deranged doctor.

I'd never even heard of Jimmy Buffet until his death and I'd never heard his music before but since hearing about his death, Margaritaville has been on repeat for me, this is a fun song, I like it.

>>22497309
Did you recover?

>>22497344
I write down whatever thoughts I have that I know I can't share with other people, it's a good way of getting it out.

>>22494518
it's 1978 and I'm about 15, my oldest sister 19. One of my prize possessions is a big Ampex executive desktop cassette recorder, which while too bulky to carry around the neighborhood like the Panasonic that made my equivalent to Warhol's girlfriend Sony, came with a very decent microphone, and had an explosively wide dynamic range, compared to that of FM broadcast and LPs. Not sure how it came about, but I noticed that a certain downstairs room had an interesting pinging echo, so I set it going and set about slapping the floor with a wet towel to capture the effect. She was also there, and suddenly introduced, out of the blue, "Leonard PINTH Gaaarneeeeenlle o eh he he he hih" in way that mocked Eleanor's sort of Mid Atlantic finishing school tone, among other things, since she could hardly finish in a straight voice. Naturally I incorporated this amazing performance into rather a lot of audio montages. She had so much personality that i can't imagine her as an officious bore, never mind any of their goons. Around 1992 i took her out, and we went to a big Lutheran cathedral where upstairs a student played while a teacher watched and listened on. I had a few questions and comments about Handel, but they promptly brushed us off, returning to Bach. I still kind of hate them both, since even while playing they didn't play at all.

>>22497391
I compartmentalize. Think of the emotional equivalent of cutting off a diseased limb. The rest of me is doing really good desu.

>>22497438
Holy shit, you're old.

>>22497455
But how did you manage to do it? The feelings always get me in the weakest moment and ends in a massive depression period or intense anger.

>>22497457
60. My paternal grandfather was a teenager somewhere on the shores of France when Tsar Nicholas II was on the throne and Kaiser Wilhelm news. I don't feel particularly old, except when the subject of my other siblings comes up. They all seem to me like relics of their time, tired as overworked.

>>22497515
post wrinkled old man hand with timestamp

>>22497519
Can't oblige. You'll have to trust me.

>>22497526
>windows phone
Say no more fąm. How were the 80s?

>>22497542
It's from a laptop camera. As for the 80s, it depends. I found the late 80s very nice, and 1989 one of my halcyon years. 1997 and 2013 were also good. As for now, can't complain,and sometimes can't believe my luck, given where in the world I grew up and live now.

>>22496095
>did poorly in college and had a mediocre job for years after?
This is basically what happened to me, but I tell myself that it was necessary to learn certain things about myself. Now, If only I didn't burn out too fast while pursuing these newfound interests...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgEtQUeUAa8

What if the 'soul' was actually not a single entity but multiple conscience entities battling for dominance over the body they inhabit? It's an ancient idea but what if it is actually valid?

>>22497344
I used Evernote up until very recently for work now I just use it to gather up philosophical insights I have

>>22495841
Oh well I get some good discussions out of it

>>22495765
Need a tie breaker for this

>>22497579
Which interests are those? Almost all of mine have been rather more lively than the ones I was directed to by assorted institutions. Even in High School I became a kind of joke for staying at home to watch a partial solar eclipse. My dad didn't lie about it either while calling me off to let me do my thing, polite almost beyond belief about it. He could have said no to it, but let it go without the slightest qualm.

I HAVE to be an incel loser. It's part of my character arc.

>>22494518
THESE MY DOGS FOR REAL

>Selected prose 1909 - 1965 [ISBN-13: 978-0811204651]
>Library of America's Ezra Pound: Poems & Translations [ISBN-13: 978-1931082419]
>The Cantos of Ezra Pound [ISBN-13: 978-0811213264]
>Ezra Pound Speaking [ISBN-13: 978-0313200571]
Am I missing anything from my Ezra Pound collection?

>>22497716
It depends on your age and character. Nothing wrong with virginity. I lost mine at 28, not counting lovely long slow wanks. It's not that important, whatever the conventions of romantic comedy.

>>22497579
I feel it really was necessary, but what good is knowing things about yourself if that experience prevents you from living those out?

>>22497719
I'd prefer a harem of Mexican gardeners, and that's not just me.

Women get so much criticism today yet, as a man, it is amazing to watch someone so diligently look after another human being.
Women who can't or can no longer have children get helpless pets to dote upon.
There's a reason why people call home the Motherland.

God made snakes and midgets to titillate vorefags.

>>22497734
I'm 40

>>22497773
>40 year old virgin
are you ok?

>>22497761
My regard for women is pretty much the same as I have for men. Sex and conversation are very different things, and it's hard to find anyone good at the latter.

>>22497672
Have you ever tried Notion? Been thinking about using something like that.

>>22494924
I think it’s largely in part due to liberalisms multiculturalist necessities that pushes empathy so hard. So concerned with how others feel, being sure not to hurt others and all that they push empathy and pity too high. I don’t think it’s all bad to hear others story and contemplate it to grow in understanding a more complete picture, but obsessing over these things doesn’t do you any good. How can you simultaneously be nice and thoughtful while ruthlessly securing yourself and your goals? This is also why so many men are outright confused and stuck. Then you have the added effect of shit like entertainment at its apex with technology, it’s like a perfect storm.

People prioritize safety, get stuck in with the herd, get bogged down by moral systems they don’t fully comprehend, it really feels like a cluster fuck. You really have to wade through a lot of bullshit and trial and error to find your way.

Holy shit teens are unbearable. If i wasn't trying to get into the pants of that whore, I'd flip out and murder her.

>>22497773
What do you look like? At 30 I looked like 17, and at 40 like 25, pretty much the stereotypical twink who ages gracefully. I sometimes dress up for the road, and look a little amazing in rear view mirrors, with a hint of star quality. That is to say that I look "interesting" now in much the same way as character actors do.

>>22497438
>>22497515
Hello, fellow old fart. 63 yo here.
I am honestly surprised when I learn there are folk around my age on 4chins.

>>22497854
I look like a young Salman Rushdie, but worse clothes and more disheveled.

>>22497875
>>22497515
How did you guys end up on a site founded to discuss anime, anyway?

>>22497880
Just sorta drifted here. All the old sites I frequented shut down, Ogrish, redroom, Daily rotten, etc.

>>22497875
I've so much to tell, from walnut trees in exurban Wisconsin to Chicago's Berlin nightclub, to retirement where the quiet is almost to die for. Good life overall, if some of it was interestingly rough. Very often I think about the difference between pastoral and tragedy.

>>22497875
Ancient bros, explain what is 4chöd from the eyes of your lengthy road. How did you get here? What do you see?

>>22497880
Around 2013 I watched a documentary about Aaron Schwartz, in which 4chan was mentioned. Still not bored with it, whatever its faults.

>>22497979
Any advice for those in their late 20s? Sincerely asking.

me and my girl are going to shave everything and rub on each other like worms

>>22497944
>retirement where the quiet is almost to die for.
My D day, or rather R day, will be next week. I am very much looking forward to the quiet.

How does a kindle work? Can I shove pirated epubs on it with an usb cable?

>>22497999
Frank Reynolds style

>>22497982
If you ever find yourself in a work situation you hate or makes you sick, vote with your feet soon as you can, and go elsewhere. Believe me, it's their loss. Go upscale if you're at all articulate.

>>22498006
Yes. The easy way is to download Calibre. Upload your epub or whatever (not pdf) files on the software and send to device it will be. You can also download metadata and cover art there.

>>22498004
How I found myself here is kind of unbelievable. My family did their thing mostly to avoid scandal, obvious as it is that rural regions of blue states are the best of everything the Western hemisphere has to offer.

>>22497702
Guitar, writing, and learning japanese. I want to draw too but I'm already busy as is.
>staying at home to watch a partial solar eclipse
That sounds cool. There's a total eclipse coming up next year in my city.

>>22498059
Horticulture, astronomy, generative graphics, and Anglo-American poetry. My interests haven't changed much since about 1977. The equipment for some of it has improved since then, but the general theme remains the same.

>>22498006
Yeah it’s incredibly simple with calibre, and you can fit a ton on the kindle with just 5 or 6 gigs.

If you were transported to a fantasy world what body would you want to have? I'd either like to look like the Slenderman or a cute elf girl. Also would like to have necromantic powers.

Shitmerica can't be turned into a cartel wasteland fast enough

>>22494518
I think I'm a decent representative of the modern Western man.

In the short term, I have little to look forward to in the world. Just getting stoned on the weekends and jerking off. I'm stoned right now. The weekends are all the time I really have to myself.

I don't think money can solve my issues. Breaking into those higher level tech jobs is hard when I've only got under a year's worth of hell desk experience on top of my degree and am this close to just no showing to work since it sucks so hard. No real women at the office, although my conversational skills have atrophied to just essential functions.

Even if I could get a decent paying job, I'd be stuck working countless hours. And even on 6 figures, COL would be kind of dicy.

I don't know there's something twisted about this lifestyle. I guess I know it's greatly in my head, and most people were, and will continue to be, miserable throughout history, but I can't help but feel there's something important I've been robbed of.

>>22498164
Would you like to have the ability to speak to animals, to understand them as if they spoke your native language?

>>22498183
I can't tell if you're messing with me or not. I want to say no since I've probably hurt animals before, and I don't want to take responsibility for it, however callous and ugly that may sound. Then again, I'd be curious about it. So much so, I might say yes. So yes, I would.

>>22497875
It’s cool seeing older people on this site and not just Facebook. Younger people are so dramatic as you might have noticed posting on here.

>>22498203
I'm not messing with you.

I've been looking for a book I once skimmed over, and I can't find and it's tremendously frustrating. It was some occult themed fiction novel from the early 20th-century, 1900-1915 thereabouts. It was about a guy joining an occult lodge or something like that. I thought it was called the '13th Brotherhood' or the '13th Initiate' or the 'XIII something something' but apparently it's not that because otherwise I would have found it obviously.
I remember reading the Wikipedia page of the author, meaning he had some notoriety, so the book so the book can't be entirely obscure.

It's so annoying when you know enough to remember something, but not enough to actually look it up again.

>>22498128
Some kind of shape shifting druid that looks like a ripped boomer with long hair and a white bird whenever I'm not turning into a cool animal.

>>22498164
You have an internet connection which means you have plenty of opportunity to keep learning. You work at a company which I’m sure has paths for promotion and elevation, even if not you have an income source. You spend your free time getting stoned. Complete skill issue.

>>22498259
Druid could be nice. The reason I said necromantic was because I wouldn't want to see my companions die. I'm always anxious when the protagonist brings animal companions to battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNt09nlQILc&list=PLEAF1C6352D4F61F9

>>22494518
Maggie's huge hair helmet reminds me of megaton mushroom clouds. Imagine having sex with that shrill harridan. Ding dong.

>>22498137
Apparatchik detected.

Do you think it’s possible to limit your life trajectory by ending up with a certain education/career/upbringing? Like if you become an accountant for the local government for 10 years, you just can’t become the President one day, right?

>>22498128

Cute elf girl would be fine. Cute witch girl would be even better. Any of the picrel would be great if we're pushing the limit of what counts as fantasy. Not that I'd necessarily want to be in any kind of grimdark setting, but I'd love to be in a world where chivalric romance is blended into sci-fi. Maybe not space opera necessarily but with Gothic or even more optimistic Piecraftian vibes. If I'm going to be turned male then I'd be fine with being strictly average looking as long as I'm a bit on the taller side and am in innately excellent physical health. I'd want thick blonde hair though. I have thick curly black hair in real life but it doesn't really fit me just attracts mockery.

>>22498128
I would be a fat, hairy barbarian with a large underbite

I have to stop masturbating for good.
I'm in a relationship and have been having performance issues. Stop jacking off, anons

>>22498128
I don't get why everyone wants to be a little girl or whatever. I'm a dude, I want to bone cute elf girls, not be one myself.

>>22498690
Because you get to interact with a world differently than a man would. Like if there are public baths that separate male and female, or if you want to do cute things with other girls. Plus I'd be a lesbian.

>>22498771
Careful anon, this is how you become a tranny

>>22498633
Weak lil baby dick

>>22498805
Rude and my penis is huge.

>>22498460
Nobody "just becomes president one day," it's something that people spend their whole lives trying to attain, and most of them still don't manage to do it

I have so much pent up frustration and self-loathing, and I don’t know how to reach catharsis. I want to talk to people about my problems, but A) I can’t afford therapy B) I’ve already tried therapy and it didn’t work and C) I don’t feel comfortable enough to open up to my friends.

>>22498771
I've considered your offer and I'll have to decline.
Plus I'm an ugly bastard anyway. It's practically my duty to be the faceless dude plowing those 600 year old 4'10" elf chicks.

Boredom with life, frustration with self

>>22498819
that's-- what 4chan is for-- that's why we tell each kys and be mean to each other and such.

Kinda wish I got a chance to tell my brother just how much I hate him for ruining my life before he died

>>22498819
Just channel the frustration. I dont open to my friends but I use my time with friends to feel better. Just good company, playing sports, enjoying life alleviates a lot of problems

My youtube algorithm is bombarding me with all kinds of incel and mgtow content and I'm starting to resent women again.

>>22498812
That actually might be the cause of your problem

>>22498957
Embarrassing

>>22498967
I dont find anything I say anonymously embarrassing
POOPY RAPEY POOPY RAPEY POOPY RAPEY

>>22498959
Maybe.
But I think it has to do with being used to jacking off too much.
A hand can be as tight as you want it and you can take your time. With sex it's different.
I just need to stop jacking off and it'll be good again. I hope.

>>22494518
The past is not the solution

>>22494518
i've figured out what it's all about, i have found the definitive answers to all the problems plaguing the world. unfortunately i have no writing talent and i'm borderline retarded so i'll never be able to share my revelations with humanity

>>22494518
God does not love me and I don't blame him. I've never lifted a finger to help myself and lived 30 years now wallowing in misery. I don't even know why, to learn so would be more effort than I have.

I used to enjoy this board a lot more before I joined discord.

>>22498164
A man tired of london is tired of life. And the old guy looks fucking exhausted.

>>22498985
>I say anonymously
you know it's not really anonymous right?

>>22498164
What's COL?

Either way you aren't describing the life of a human, but a creature in captivity. If zoo animals had to work to eat I'd say you were in a zoo, but you're something even lower. You've traded any real freedom for subsistence.

People in the past didn't have iphones but they had community and hope, why should someone work to live if they don't enjoy either? Idk if I'm replying to you or talking to myself anymore. Office work is genuinely soul sucking and when I think about returning to college to finish my degree I can feel myself reaching for the revolver.

How do I meditate bros? I have ADHD brain and I'm not even a zoomer.

I wish I could forget all the past. This knowledge has never once helped me.

>>22499344
Start at 1 minute and go up 1 minute a day. The problem is that you will probably give up after a few days because of adhd. There is no remedy for that, except getting someone else to make sure you do it every day, or just being really obsessed with it. Count up to 10 exhalations and then reset the count.

>>22499242
Your perception is backwards. Because you suffer you know that God loves you.

>>22499246
Can you recommend some channels that allow shit posting like /lit/ that isn't filled with women?

>>22499246
Oh fuck off. You discord types are all so lame. Just cookie-cutter edgy kids who are glib and post twitter screen shots.

>>22497067
So you basically fetishised him and treated him like an object for you to get off on?

Then when he healthily associated sexual expression with his actual feelings you punished him for it. Now you're worried he's detached the two permanently because of what you put him through?

>>22498206
I'd take anything to change things up. Maybe talking to animals could be the change of pace I need?
>>22499325
I don't know if I was ever free in the first place... it's rough in this world anon. Take care anon, I think it's not that we're busted but that the world itself is sick in numerous ways, and we might be seeing societal evils swell up to an extreme

I have multiple creative things that I'm interested in doing for a career, but I can't seem to decide on a single one or "niche down" like I'm supposed to because I enjoy them all about the same

Anyone else regularly think about being part of Napoleon's armies at Waterloo or fighting the Ottomans during the fall of Constantinople?

women are demons from hell

>>22499242
you suffer because you don't know that God loves you.

>>22498460
>just become the president one day
lol

Women will interpret a general to be a particular.
The particular will be none other than the Woman herself.
The Woman will then treat it as a personal attack or accusation of blame.
The Woman will then instinctively seek to absolve herself of responsibility by rejecting the general without ever having once engaged with it or understanding what is even being discussed.

Woman only have two thoughts.
1. This is about me...
2. ...and it's not my fault.

>>22499746
>>22499626
You okay man?

Does a kiss have to be consensual too now?

>>22495101
You sound like a man.

>>22499297
Neither are DEEZE NUTS

>>22499746
I would just add that they'll also immediately project any feelings of shame/regret back towards whoever triggered them. There's not a single man who has lived with a woman without ever having her get mad at him for something that she fucked up. It's basically:
>I made my bf sad by acting like that
>now I'm sad
>this is his fault >:(
Or the classical:
>I'm acting like a whore and people are treating me like one
>I don't wanna be a whore
>it's their fault for making me fell like one >:(

>>22499381
Why would God make you suffer if he loves you?

>>22499920
Because we are naturally horrible sinners who inherently deserve to be tortured for eternity before we even do anything, that is the logic Christians use to somehow believe that God loves everyone despite torturing 90% of them forever

>>22499920
Why did God choose to suffer?

>>22494518
>Lucan
>Lucian

What’s the difference?

I stopped reaching out to others to hang out and play games, go to the gym etc and literally every one of them stopped texting me or inviting me out or even contacting me. I knew this would happen, I think I should just stop trying to form relationships because of how awkward, messy and ultimately failing they are.

>>22499928
>create beings that do bad thing
>wtf why do they do bad thing punish them
he's a sadist.

>>22499944
It makes sense that he would make suffer the people whom he prefers the least.

>>22499987
Do you believe He prefers Himself the least?

>>22500000
quints of depth

healthnuts die the youngest

Every time I remember that it's not normal to cry every day, several times a day, I am just as genuienly startled. It's like a never ending revelation.

Fucking Microsoft word. Fucking license. Fucking Kike Gates and his money grubbing ways. Whatever happened to sharing a pirated version for the entire school the fuck.

Back in May, I was severely anhedonic. Even more so than now. And it was much easier to get rid of compulsive browsing. I keep falling back into it. My nervous system is shot through.

Truly, the best of life is that which you experience in childhood. Emotions are primitive. Thoughts are simple, straightforward and surface level. Life is thus, uncomplicated. A machine in its first epoch. I truly feel sorry for people who grew up in abusive homes, and to untrustworthy, unstable care-givers. You will never experience with the same well meaning naivety. The same fresh idealistic hope. It all owes to a juvenile nervous system, and a blissful lack of experience.

The moment you grow older, and you become aware of yourself. No matter how successful, how brilliant, how blessed you could be. You would never react with the same uncomplicated way as you did in childhood. Every emotion is now the tether between two conflicting states. Joy is always tinged with trepidation and dread. Sadness is teetering at a steep edge of despair. Every experience is derivative of something you've lived through in the past. Tiresome.

>>22498460
Becoming president isn't magic. You need to sit for the LSAT, get into a T5 Law School because those are feeders for big Law and any position that would groom you for presidency. You have to toil away at various government service positions for decades before you even have the chance (and the shadow backing of the deep state) to get to the top.

>>22494518
The two fourteen year old girls staying at Dr. Pederhorn’s Clinic for Undiagnosable Neurasthenic Young Ladies had been sharing a suite for about a fortnight and had taken a conspiratorial liking to each other. They were both from quite wealthy families, hence their ability to afford such a prestigious Alpine clinic and each had been discovered by their respective families not only looking at extreme fetishistic porn, but more concerning still, there was physical evidence that they’d personally been engaging in some of the fetishes they’d been exposed to. Namely, one known as “panty pooping,” which, as the name implies, involved females defecating in their underwear for ‘sport,’ pleasure and/or commerce. In the case of the two young girls, respectively, there was both circumstantial as well as recorded documentary evidence of them engaging in it for pleasure and some secondary evidence they’d at least considered the possibility of selling their highly soiled underwear online to fetishistic “collectors” of said articles, without the latter necessarily being aware of the age of the girls in question. It is almost certainly the case the two girls, prior to their arrival at the clinic, did not know each other, so the similarity of their comportment was purely coincidental (and some experts believed not as uncommon in that demographic as one might assume). In any case, there they were, Hilda and Julie: a brunette and a blonde; one petite, the other tallish; both normatively attractive; the first was fifteen to be precise, the second fourteen.

>>22500268
In any case, after a few days of sharing a suite together it became apparent that they were getting along. However, it would eventually be discovered by one of the nurses that at some point the two girls had decided to embark upon a secret fetishistic conspiracy together during their residence at the world class psychological facility. Sure enough, after a fortnight’s sojourn there they were caught at around 5:30 in the morning by a night shift nurse who had detected, via night vision censors discreetly installed in their suite, unusual extended activity at the time when the two girls should still have been in their own respective beds. The nurse used her master key to open their room and quickly turned on the lights, only two discover the two girls crouched behind one of the beds oddly dressed (considering the hour) in blouses and skirts, with an illuminated flashlight by their side. The girls were in so great a shock at the intrusion that they screamed, and the blonde fell over on her butt. That’s when the smell hit the milfish thirty five year old nurse—it smelled like fresh poop! The nurse, who knew the girls’ clinical histories, said, “What are you two doing, and what is that smell?!” The girls both tried to rush into their bathroom, but the nurse was in their way and she was able to catch one of them by the arm and lifted her skirt and was thus confronted by a huge solid mass of poop extending horizontally from the girl’s panty-covered derriere. Without giving it a second’s thought, she pulled the girl’s panties down, to the level of her knees, catching thus the clearest view of her solidly massive poop, but also, it immediately struck the nurse, “of the creaminess of the girl’s sex.” A phenomenon she immediately associated with the shocking fetishistic activities the two girls had secretly been engaged in just minutes before.

>>22500269
The girl she had caught put up no further resistance and was simply blubbering away, while her mess potently suffused the suite. This passivity allowed the nurse to use her master key to open the bathroom door and thereby catch the other girl hurriedly trying to wipe her bottom with toilet paper, but so far it had been to little avail, as a good part of the ample reserve of poop was seemingly still plastered onto her backside (it had evidently been smooshed against the girl’s derriere, at some point during their ‘game’). The bathroom naturally also smelled quite strongly of the girl’s inordinate mass of ordure, which it evidently appeared she had been holding in for some time. “Take off those wretched panties this minute!” she told the young girl, sternly, but without actually yelling. The girl, feeling defeated and unspeakably embarrassed, responded meekly and entirely obediently. Once the nurse had the two girls, with their heavily besmirched backsides, before her, and the panties, with the massive poops, disposed of in a corner, she opened a cabinet and pulled out some sanitary wipes and personally wiped their backends, one after the other. However, she did not touch their pudenda, because she thought the girls’ “creamy lubrication” was significant clinical evidence. Having ascertained that the girls’ backsides were thoroughly clean and that their pudenda were not so very besmirched, she gave them each a mild sedative and the two girls got back into their beds (but not under the covers), and quickly and exhaustedly fell asleep (they were still wearing their skirts, naturally sans their panties). Having chemically secured them in that position, the nurse took the opportunity to further inspect each of the girls’ vaginas, in light of the extraordinary level of lubrication she’d been made privy to and in order to search for any sexual abnormalities that might have been overlooked by previous medical assessments. She did not find any visible abnormalities, but did take samples of their lubrication, which in both cases almost resembled melted marshmallow amassed in the entrance to their sexes.

>>22500272
At nine in the morning, assuming that Dr. Pederhorn had surely arrived by then, the nurse contacted him by cellphone and explained the situation. “This definitely could be a breakthrough moment, for as I’ve always said, vis a vis such difficult cases, there’s nothing quite so potentially therapeutic as being caught red-handed or should I say, in this case, brown-knickered!” “I’m so happy with your discovery and level-headed handling of this predicament that I might well give you a raise ad hoc, nurse Demarco! Wake up the two young fetishists in half an hour. Give them a light breakfast and then take them straight to me.” “Yes, doctor,” responded the nurse and that is precisely what she did, without even bothering to put panties back on the two girls, who, by the way, had become as docile as putty after having been caught “brown-knickered,” to quote the good doctor. Dr. Pederhorn, a stately professional of 60 years of age, was waiting for them in his white coat in his equally decorous office. “Bring the two young miscreants in, nurse Demarco,” the doctor said seemingly half jocularly. “Hilda, Julie, nurse Demarco has told me there has been a very significant relapse on both your parts, as she caught the both of you very early this morning dressed in skirts crouching behind a bed, um, following which she all but immediately was hit by an exceedingly powerful odor of fresh defecation, the source of which she was able to confirm when you tried to make a break for the bathroom. However, she was able to catch Julie by the arm, as she attempted her escape, and that’s when she lifted her skirt and confirmed that she’d indeed defecated herself, having discovered an immense brown bulge in the rear of her panties revealed by the lifting of her tartan. She was then able to enter the bathroom, where you’d absconded and locked yourself in, and likewise was able to confirm ‘prima feces,’ so to say, that your naked backside, Hilda, was also thoroughly caked with your defecation. Is this not the case, young ladies?”

>>22500274
The two young girls were utterly trembling and red as beets, their eyes seemingly locked to their feet, their hands placed as if attempting to symbolically cover their shame by covering their skirted crotches instead. Finally the girls, fearing the ensuing silence more than the male doctor’s judgment, meekly said “yes.” “Quite,” his response was both equanimous and interlaced with an undercurrent of concern and stern disapproval. “And yet, my dears, this in no way needs to end shamefully, that is, be perceived as a tragedy for you. Quite the contrary, this may be precisely the breakthrough moment we were looking for. And if it turns out to be the latter, then your parents need be none the wiser in regards to what underlies the breakthrough. Do you understand, my dears?” “No sir,” they coincidentally said in twin-like unison. “Of course not. I shall be clearer. We have a window of 12 to 24 hours to undertake psychological shock treatment, not of the electrical variety, but of the tactical sensorial. The point is to shock your emotional system, leveraging what this doubtlessly quite embarrassing and shameful discovery has entailed for you (no pun intended). It is precisely in such a way that we can have this twinned event put to most efficacious use, if we are brave enough to grab the bull by the horns, and run with it and thereby triumph by making of this defeat the inaugural arch of a new stage, a far more social, interpersonal, as opposed to asocial and masturbatory, stage in your lives. There’s still time, my dears, but we must flush this fetishistic excrescence down the toilet, as it were, not by avoiding the tactile and, dare I say, the sensual. But rather by initiating and embarking on a more direct exploration of the latter, which up to this point has been precisely repressed by your infantile onanistic obsession with your digestive processes and waste. Understand?” “Kinda,” the girls said in sincere confusion. “Right. Trust me on this girls. This experimentation is something we’ve been working on for years at the Pederhorn Clinic for Undiagnosed Neurasthenic Young Ladies, and I assess you two girls as being most certainly psychologically and constitutionally capable and apt for taking these treatments to the next stage of therapeutic efficaciousness and success. But for that to succeed I would need, from the two of you, your absolute cooperation and discretion, and you shall have absolutely mine in turn. Ok?” “Um, ok,” the girls mindlessly said. “Perfect, my dears, sign these three papers here. And we shall stop dilly dallying and actually get warmed up, alright,” he said in a chipper, verging on the motivational, tone.

>>22500275
Hilda and Julie responded positively to said tone, while their faces appeared significantly less flushed and their body language, including placement of eyes, seemed more relaxed. “Nurse Demarco, prepare the horse crop, if you will.” “Yes, doctor,” she laconically responded. “Here it is, sir.” “Perfect, now strap these two young ladies, by their wrists, to the wall ring hooks here.” “Certainly sir.” “Do not be alarmed my dears. The bark is always much worse than the bite around these parts. Oh and remember, we have a deal, unless you two prefer that your parents be informed of your shameful defecations this morning?” “I’m scared,” said Julie, “Me too,” said Hilda, “I don’t like being tied up,” she added. “Have you actually ever really been tied up or are you fibbing your butt off again, Hilda?” asked the doctor sternly. “No, I haven’t been tied up really,” said Hilda in a re-defeated tone. “Girls this is not about hurting, this is about building trust, do you understand?” “Yes,” they both said in unison, but again they were uncertain what they were actually agreeing to, everything seemed too difficult and dizzying, and they both just really wanted to sleep. “Nurse Demarco, you are welcome to lift their skirts.” “Certainly doctor.” She did so and after a minute or two she said, “By the way, doctor, do you notice even now how lubricated they were. The white creamy lubrication has become somewhat dry and flaky on their pudenda, but I suspect just behind their vaginal openings, it probably remains essentially moist and copiously thick and creamy. I liken it to melted marshmallows in color, thickness, even partially in sweetness, I suspect.” “Yes this profuse lubrication is, in part, routinely hormonal, but it does also respond to specific excitations, stimuli, and states of arousal, as you astutely suspected, nurse Demarco.” “Besides, obviously, the poop, it was the most noticeable thing, doctor.” “Oh, to be sure,” said the doctor, “now what came first, the white or the brown may be rather difficult to accurately conclude at this point, but we shall get to the bottom of things, indeed we are engaged in that very mission as we speak,” he said, genuinely amused by his dull word play. “Ow,” said Hilda, as she felt the first impact of the horse crop against her appetizingly well-shaped derriere. “Just fifty smacks, and your home free, my dear, scouts promise,” the doctor said, his voice betraying a bit of huskiness. “You did pee right before coming here, did you not, Hilda, because I would be very sorry indeed to be caught off guard by a micturative surprise upon my Persian rug, which, by the way, was originally owned by the inestimable Herr Carl Jung himself,” and with that the good doctor renewed his whippings and kept his promise of limiting it to fifty crops.

>>22500278
Then it was Julie’s turn, who had been whimpering pitifully counting since the first smacks her coconspirator received, as though she were not only her fetishistic confidant and accomplice, but also Hilda’s Siamese twin as well. “Doctor, no, please it stings!” The tart even let out a little fart at the end of her tearful pleas, as she reflexively stuck her naked butt out, even as she continued to tug on the cord by which her wrists were bound. “Just fifty smacks in toto, my dear, although if you let out another toot I’ll either make it 49 or 51 tout court,” he said with another irrepressible laugh.

After completion of the flagellation therapy, with both girls sobbing hysterically, he put on his spectacles and kneeled to the level of their vigorously blushing derrieres and, beginning with Hilda (the brunette), he massaged their denuded cheeks and then spread them, noting the ensconced puckered orifice between the aforesaid, followed by the carnose clefted pudenda constitutive of Hilda’s front-facing undercarriage. He gently spread apart her labia, and noted, “You were certainly on to something, nurse Demarco, look how coagulate with white lubricity the entrance to her sex is. This is of the most recent ‘vintage,’ as it were, and is surely a most direct physiologic response to the flagellation treatment itself. I’m of a mind to take a sample, albeit just a small one, as I’m loathe to destroy such a fascinatingly rich, profuse, effuse, even exuberant, manifestation of pubertal lubricity!” “Dr, I’m noting the same fresh lubricious effusion and richness, in the case of our dear blonde-fuzzed Julie. And though I try not to disturb the coagulate formation itself, an edge of it is inevitably dripping onto my fingertip.” “These are splendid and exemplary productions, and these two girls should be much commended for being so congenitally congenial, shall we say, vis a vis so many pinches, proddings, and flagellations of Science. The latter is a harsh mistress to us all in our own—and Her own—particular way!” Nurse Demarco could not help but blush and say, “I know only to well of what you speak doctor, only too well,” as she reflexively closed and placed a hand between her pantyhosed legs at the level of the lower margin of her skirt.

>>22500282
“The climacteric period is scheduled for when, nurse Demarco?” “In the evening, probably around eightish, sir.” “Good, good. I think these two girls might benefit from a light sedative in the the interim. Let us do a low dose promethazine suppository, now that we’ve got them bottoms up in any case. With all the blubbery crying I’m not sure I trust the oral route right now.” “Understood doctor.” “Nurse Demarco, you can do the honors on Julie and I shall handle Hilda here.” “Yes, doctor.” Both girls let out concurrent moans at the unwelcome and further embarrassment of the rectal intrusions, but quickly fell under the suppositories’ spell and became sleepy more than anything else. The nurse put robes on them and then walked them back to their room. Once inside, she put them to bed, albeit she was set on not having it be for more than an hour or two, after all, she was certain the girls had actually slept for most of the previous night. She then took the rest of the day off, per her, albeit delayed, schedule, though not without first informing her substitutes of the procedures that had been set in motion for that night.

>>22500284
Nurse Justine and nurse Juliette (equally capable professionals), after conferring with Dr. Pederhorn, agreed to take full responsibility for the aphroditic preparations with a view towards their climacteric purposes, at least as far as the critical first stage was concerned. This meant that two discrete male youths of similar age to the girls in question were to be recruited, from the local vicinity preferably. Sexual experience would prove of the essence, necessarily above discretion, but the two were sine qua nons or intertwined operational pillars practically speaking. Two lads in the employee of a local mob boss were contacted and recruited for the delicate climacteric operation, their names Donnie (short for Donathan) and Alf. The lads arrived by Uber at around five in the evening, had a good supper, and then were hosted by the nurses Justine Demarco (sister of Renee) and Juliette Quimbley (a light brown fortyish lady of Caribbean extraction). The food the fifteen and sixteen year lads had been given contained significant aphrodisiacal properties and so before the two nurses even initiated anything the boys were already wrestling with an unusual or heightened level of horniness, apart and in addition to their already extra sensitive adolescent sensibilities to a great variety of types and ages of the fairer sex. “Here’s the deal,” said nurse Quimbley, as she crossed and crisscrossed her short-skirted tan and muscular legs, “you boys are going to pick off some cherries for a us for a good cause. There are these two girls, see, a blonde and a brunette, both between fourteen and fifteen years of age; both super cute; the second petite, the first tallish. Unfortunately they’ve become addicted to some fetishistic stuff that their parents understandably disapprove of. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to get these girls’ heads and every other body part you can think of out of the gutter, by inducing in them a keen interest in the joys of ‘normal’ heterosexual activities. So basically that means relieving them of their cherries this evening, in a few hours time, tops, and—this is an obligatory stipulation—inseminating them as generously as possible. For it is Dr. Pederhorn’s considered medical opinion that nothing quite beats an adolescent boy’s golden age or stage of semen production in terms of the relevant medicinal and therapeutic properties.”

>>22500286
The boys scratched their ... heads, looked at each other quizzically and finally said, “So we each get a thousand swiss francs apiece if we pull this cherry popping thing off?” “That’s correct,” said nurse Demarco, “oh, by the way, there’s a second stipulation, connected to the first. You boys need to be primed a couple hours before you actually stick your hot rods up these girls’ bods. That translates to: you’re going to make love to us two, that is nurse Quimbley and myself, without cumming in us the slightest. That’s what ‘semen priming,’ means. It’s a method that’s actually been significantly studied and advanced by Dr. Pederhorn and he’s taught us the ins and outs of it so to say. For your part, all you have to do is have normal sex with us for about an hour, more or less, and not cum. You boys think you can handle that?” nurse Demarco said, not precisely without blushing. The two boys again looked at each other and moved their heads in simultaneous ascension, at this point there was little point in being polite or pretending otherwise: they let their impressively dimensioned cocks slowly but assuredly rise to the occasion from under the veil of their thin track pants.

>>22500288
The two nurses, respectively, took the boy closest to each by the hand and thus led them to a second floor hall full of suites, there they each disrobed for their particular (heterosexual) catamite and then disrobed the boy in turn and lay themselves upon a bed for him. Neither of the two boys were by hardly any measure inexperienced and indeed they took copulating with these two milfish or cougarish nurses like, pardon the pun, prized cocks to a cockfight. The boys had no cause to envy even older boys or men as far as virile attributes were concerned, certainly, and the two nurses quickly felt in the most intimate sense the justness of the boys’ physical and sexual pride. The two parties in each case, forming a divided quartet in total, moaned, groaned, and, in the case of the two ladies, orgasmed multiply during the allotted hour. The boys, however, unbeknownst to the ladies, had actually had sex that previous night with two high class call girls, however without cumming in them or in a condom or anywhere else for that matter. They had held their own, quite literally. And they were doing so again with the two nurses. However it was a natural and inevitable feature of such methods of natural sexual continence (as opposed to abstinence), that once the cum was tightly held back during a first effort, that if a second effort followed a few to several hours after, the tightness of the continence became forcibly relaxed, lax, or more porous than during the first or initial effort, meaning, as was presently happening, that without remotely cumming or orgasming, significant doses or globs of semen nevertheless managed to ooze through, in this case into the milfish quims spasming, orgasming, and gently squirting around the boys’ impressively-girthed phalluses. It was unclear whether it had even occurred to the nurses that this was something that might be an issue in this particular case: that insemination was happening all the same. In any case, because of the ages of the two ladies, pregnancy was unlikely and ultimately didn’t end up occuring. After the passage of an hour, Justine and Juliette heartily kissed their respective adolescent lovers on the mouths and then had them shower and dress nicely, after which the two ladies shared a shower to save time and put on fresh nurses’ uniforms.

>>22494555
What's the issue with your life?

>>22500291
The two young lotharios then accompanied the somewhat blushing nurses by the hand further down the hallway to another section on the same floor, whereupon they came to Hilda’s and Julie’s suite, where the two girls were eating yogurt and watching ‘Let’s Make it Legal,’ an old 1951 Hollywood movie. They were completely taken by surprise by the entrance of the two handsome teen boys and they instinctively looked to the two accompanying female nurses for guidance and orientation. “Listen sweeties,” said nurse Quimbley, “these two boys happened to stop boy and we couldn’t resist telling them that on this very floor were two of the cutest, sweetest girls you could ever imagine, and they begged and pleaded with us to introduce them to you. You wouldn’t believe the effort it took to get them off of us, owing to all the begging and arm pulling they subjected us to, on account of you two. So please treat these boys extra nice. Sweet kisses with cherry on top!”

>>22500293
“So what are you girls in for?” Don asked cheekily by way of a secret double entendre. “We can’t say,” said Hilda, blushing like a beetroot. “Something naughty,” said Julie, blushing just the same and getting an antsy feeling between her legs. “That’s weird,” said Alf, “because you two don’t look like the naughty type, more like two little miss goody two shoes, to be honest.” “Did you girls kiss the same boy and get caught?” asked Don mischievously. “We did something way worse than that,” said Julie finally, “um, we peed our panties on purpose and, um, farted in them too, after peeing in them first.” The boys just stood their agape, until Don, finally inspired, said, “fuck, that’s hot,” and he made a big but seemingly accidental show of trying to hide his crotch. “Did you get a hardy?” asked Julie with genuine curiosity and an itch in her eye to try to see into his fly. “Nah, that’s just a tootsie role I always keep in my front pocket to give to pretty girls like you if they ask nicely.” Julie was honestly unsure about whether he was being serious or not, but she instinctually blushed all the same and then smiled widely right at him. Alf, wasn’t as quick on his feet as his friend, but he looked at Hilda and asked her point blank, if the indictment applied to her to: Did she pee and then fart in her little miss goody two shoes panties, just like Julie? Hilda looked down at the floor, the very epitome of the demure young lady, and said finally, “We can’t and shouldn’t be talking about that. It’s private, and it’s something just between Julie and me and Dr. Pederhorn and nurse Demarco. Like if we talk about it we might even get spanked by Dr. Pederhorn again.” “Woah, when and why did he spank you, cause I’d figure you two big ass girls are already old enough to be doing the spanking, what are you fifteen and sixteen?” asked Don. “Yes, I’m fifteen, going on sixteen, and Julie’s properly fourteen.” “So what he’d spank you for?” Don asked, trying as always to conceal a mischievous smirk. “Julie had an accident in her panties, it was an accident, and nurse Demarco accused us of being naughty, and so we both got spanked hard for it,” Hilda said, her voice slightly breaking. “It’s like you’re tap dancing with your little miss goody two shoes around my question. What kinda of accident did Julie have in her panties, did she pee herself laughing or something and accidentally fart to top it off? Cause that doesn’t sound like that big of a deal frankly. Or were you tickling her and that caused her to pee herself and whatever? Or were you trying to seduce her and you started touching her somewhere private and she got scared and peed herself?” asked Don, with a mixture of provocation, but also growing genuine exasperation.

>>22500294
“Before you say anything Julie, you better shut up or you’ll embarrass us further and get us in worse trouble and cause us to get spanked or like whipped hard again!” and that’s when Hilda broke down altogether and her eyes became veritable fountains. “Hey there,” said Don, “me and Alf didn’t mean to upset you. I hate to see pretty girls cry, honestly breaks my heart.” That’s when Don made his move and hugged the girl, who was thoroughly showered, fresh-smelling, wearing a pretty new soft blouse and plaid skirt that accentuated her shapely bottom. Soon his hands were resting firmly on those same awfully warm haunches, as he gently pressed the whimpering (though no longer sobbing) girl against him. Then he lifted her chin, and began to kiss her right on the lips. Hilda suddenly discovered, to her great amazement, she was desperate for romance, and took in his kisses like a famished girl on a desert island might respond to the contents of a parachuted parcel of food: yet in such instances the perils of gluttony were doubtless most present. Don squeezed Hilda’s bottom tightly through her pretty skirt, while both Alfie and Julie could only watch in utter amazement. “Boy did those two get the hots for each other fast,” said Alf, as he sat next to Julie, who was also freshly showered, and wearing a new blouse and pretty skirt, under which was just a small thong. Alf’s hand came to rest upon Julie’s bent knee, until eventually it slipped under her skirt, though just barely. Julie nevertheless instinctively responded by opening her legs, as a flush of pleasure flew straight past her legs, nestling in the very core of her sex, which began to ooze fresh juice again, on top of all the accumulated cream whose production had been set in motion when both she and Hilda dared each other to refrain from pooping for a few days until they could each do a huge number in their respective panties—the primal Freudian event, as it were, that set off this entire erotic adventure to begin with.

>>22500299
Before the younger pair new it, they realized Don had Hilda already inclined over one of the beds and was lifting her skirts past her waist and softly kneading and massaging her pussy mound like it was Play Doh. There was already a big pussy juice stain smack in the middle of Hilda’s pink panties, which when it was seen by Alfie and Julie caused them to almost immediately want to experience, in their respective ways, the same. So they too got on the other bed, with Julie actually being the one to initiate things, by lifting her own skirt, as she lay back on the bed, while presenting Alfie, who was really quite cute, with her haunches and already extremely juicy, though not yet apparently so, pussy. She pushed out a fart for good measure: a sign of immaturity, of crisscrossed sexual preference cables, or just mindless naughtiness, who knew? Nor did Alf much mind at this point. His balls, in no small part thanks to nurse Quimbley, were exceedingly heavy with both old and new cum, and aching for something approaching immediate release. He pulled down his track pants, astoundingly following Julie’s lead, and started massaging her own deliciously plump and doughy pussy mound. Near instantaneous whimpers of squishy, squelchy pleasure were emitted by Julie, as she continued to let out little tarty farts, that were odorless and therefore even somewhat endearing to Alf. By this point Don had completely taken off Hilda’s skirt and panties and had the girl in a state approaching hypnotic arousal. The pleasure of their solipsistic entwining entirely excluding the rest of the human world around them that didn’t constitute their incomparably sweet galaxy of kisses. Don’s pants and shorts were also completely off, and he began to position Hilda at the center of the bed, in order to break her hymenal seal. His impressively girthy penis came into view and then it was lost from sight by the penumbra of his body and the lower part of hers. “Owieeee!” said Hilda. “Shhhh,” he said gently, “shhh.” “Ow, ow, uh, oh!” Spurred on by such images and sounds, Alf fully pulled out his own fulsome weapon, like a trunk from out of the fly of his shorts and pressed it against the thin, utterly sopping, crotch of Julie’s thong, slipping right past it and into the creamy melted marshmallow morass of her squelchy, burpy quim.

>>22500300
“Oh, damn,” Alfie was truly in heaven, as his cock-head sank a good ways into Julie’s marshmallow-deluged heat, with much of her white creamy gooeyness squishing out the sides of her pussy, like imperceptibly soft merengue pie. Hilda had by this point been positioned by Don on top of him; the pain had been a minute sting and nothing more. She looked back at Julie—who was evincing a look of wide-eyed ravishment—as the older girl began to take Don’s cock inside of her once more, but this time while sitting upright and facing him. “Oh, oh, oh,” she moaned as the boy’s fulsomely erect and stout cock began to sink further and further inside Hilda. There was no turning back now...

>>22494761
>completely the opposite
Your gf is boring and tfw no job?
>>22495128
How does your typical week go that it's so boring?
>>22496393
Good sex is sex with a good person. I can't tell you how good it feels to really connect with someone and just spoil each other in bed. A couple of years ago I was on the same boat as you.
>>22500164
Does crying give you any sense of relief? If yes, you can consider yourself lucky. For me it doesn't help anything and also clogs up my nose.

I really hate being social. I'm good at it, if we met you'd probably think I enjoyed it. I have a gf and many friends but I really don't like it.

>>22500655
I used to be like this, but my abilities have massively atrophied. Now I feel like Sisyphus trying to push words out of my mouth. I am hoping that given a few more years I will lose the capacity for speech entirely and revert to a feral state.

I read because everything else is too overwhelming, yes even movies.

I want to see a dead body in real life.

>>22500804
No, you don’t.

>>22497653
This is true though.

The consciousness is just perceiving what's happening in the brain, and there's many stakeholders in it that 'speak' or generate signals that you can perceive. Hunger, emotions, balance, anything you *could* feel is a different stakeholder wanting the consciousnesses attention.

>>22500808
Why not?

>>22500804
>>22500808
I've seen loads. It's really nothing special.

>>22500894
You’ve probably came loads too you sick fuck.

Thread theme: https://youtu.be/P8RShs00yR0?si=2K3BlPQzL_-FTE35

>>22500909
Sadly I'm not that interesting, it's just a job

>>22500894
I bet it probably isn't, I just wanna do it.

Do you think the Democratic Party has been totally conquered by woke neoliberalism as the party ideology or is there still a space for for pro-working class, pro-white populist candidates?

>>22500968
The only ideology that any ruling class has right now is “kill white people.”

>>22500968
Like a great deal of political parties their understanding of history and change has been dealt a death blow by a misapplication of Hegel's historical thinking sundered from its greater metaphysical anchors. The officials of said parties barely understand what it even means to govern as they're not really politicians at all but a group of technocrats, businessmen, and lawyers whose chief principles are the perpetual increase of the economy and a vague sense of societal 'progress' ungrounded in any system.

I can see how this is going to end.

>>22500968
Oh yay, bringing /pol/ to /lit/, just what everyone wanted today.

>>22500997
Totally agree, but what I’m asking is whether there’s space for candidate strategy that is something other than “non-white people good, white people bad; trans people good, non-trans people bad; vaccine mandates good, skeptics bad”. because that’s more or less where the mainstream is at right now for the left.

>>22494518
>Noam Chomsky
>94
>world-renowned linguist and philosopher
>written more than 150 books on numerous topics
>literally fucking monolingual, having lost his bilinguality (he used to be fluent in hebrew) from never using it
I'm unironically better at languages than Chomsky, and I didn't even try.

I’ve realized that I entered my thirties without really having done anything with my life. I got a career, but not a good one. I got an education, but not a good one. I never got married. I never had kids. I never loved to the city. I never did anything really interesting, exciting, or successful. I feel terrible about myself.

"Then fight it!"

"I can't fight it, that's the problem! You think I haven't tried? That I've been rotting for years in this room and didn't once try to fight back? That mom didn't try to make me fight it? I simply can't. I can't do it and, like the others, you think you are so much better than me... You know what? I'm tired of this shit. I really am. Every single day is a struggle. Have you ever had troubles with brushing your teeth? Have you ever had troubles with dumping trash? Every single day is a fight, to me. Every morning feels like something I am not supposed to live through. You think this is a game to me? That I'm happy in my fucking misery, Jacob? I'm not. I want to kill myself every single day. Now, leave my bedroom."

"You are perfectly healthy, Marr. One day you'll wake up and realize how much time you've wasted in this shitty room, and you'll think of this very moment where you declined my help. But that's your choice, and you can change it. If you really want me to leave, I'll leave. I won't come back. Do you really want me to?"

Marr fixated his eyes on the computer screen, where his character, a mage alone in a dark cave, bobbed continuously, "Please leave."

He didn't look back as footsteps stepped away and the door closed.

damn i drank a small scoop of "pre-workout" mix this morning and now at 2pm i'm fucking hyper active as shit. i'm browsing around 4chan looking for a thread to waste time and energy in but they all seem stupid. fuck.

>>22495101
>>22495649
>>22496774
>>22496788
>>22497067
>>22499462

Your emotions are real and complex, but what you need to do, ethically speaking, is simple. You can't have your cake and eat it to. You can't deny romance/sex to a man and also expect lifelong celibacy. Let him go, and maybe more importantly move on yourself so that you can mature beyond this fixation.

>>22501472
Fake and biased libshit 'science' chapter 3400.
Everyone knows promiscuous people fuck and dump their partners without remorse.
There's nothing 'bonding' about sex.

I'm so frustrated by this girl.