/lit/ - Literature

I will meme this pic into reality.

>>22475070
>If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly.

Lol what is this reddit, stop wagging your finger it's just typos Karen

>>22475110
the real problem is that people will "crit" your work by just pointing out the typos and never address anything substantial about it

>>22475070
>The "Identifies As A Cute Anime Girl" Edition
lol, great op. you got a chuckle out of me

>>22475110
>chimping out at grammar corrections in a writing thread
People who can’t even memorize basic “Elements of Style” guidelines shouldn’t even be writing.

>>22475136
The elements of style is just a series of recommendations. If you need a book to tell you how to write stylishly then you are a midwit

>>22475122
I agree. Or vague criticisms like "it's shit"

>>22475153
It doesn’t even have to be that, but if you can’t even format text, why are you even writing stories, much less trying to get critique?

>>22475110
We're collectively sick of people asking for feedback when they've made little or no effort in their writing. If they can't even do a cursory proofread, why should we make an effort to critique?

>>22475136
People who follow The Elements of Style should not write fiction. That is like have a chef serve you a microwaved burrito.

>>22475130
I aim to please.
The source of that image is just as entertaining...
https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/man-accused-of-tagging-phoenix-warehouse-blamed-transgender-women-for-graffiti

>>22475180
Was expecting a Florida man story

>>22475110
>doesnt put in effort
>expects someone else to
Retarded or just stupid?

I asked this towards the end of the last thread and didn’t get any (You)s so I’ll repost it here:
do any of you have some tips for me as I try to write a whole novel that takes place in a single night and focuses almost entirely on a single main character? mostly I have written short stories and even those sometimes cover years of the characters’ lives as I find my writing style is quite light on word count and tends to move forward quickly, but I really want to write this particular book. just looking for tips from your own experience or novels you’ve read that did this well.

https://pastebin.com/Bz4ZmAMM

Any feedback on this?
I have been writing lots of short pieces trying to develop a style before I start working on a more serious narrative (ie, better developped plot etc)

>>22475431
Here is an excerpt. Hopefully this encourages you to take a look at the full piece. Or if you don't like it, atleast you will save some time so you dont have to read it all.

>It was also the first summer of real adult consequences, although none of us felt the weight of them. We were gifted great stories about the mistakes of our classmates, some of whom we only saw again when the school year started. Jaden got caught driving before he had his license, and Ryan got his taken away only five months after he got it. He got caught drunk at a check stop when he was coming home from a party with those country kids in LaSalle. He blew twice over the legal limit despite Manitoba law mandating that until you were eighteen you could have absolutely zero alcohol before driving. A couple of our friends that lived near Churchill high school got a few girls pregnant, which didn’t prevent them from coming out every weekend anyway.

>>22475445
>manitoba
Dios mio
Convinced me to read >>22475431
Cute. The pace is good but I think it could have used a slow moment. Something really exact to communicate a sense of young love
These kind of pieces are best when they're sincere. Vague enough to be universal, but precise enough to feel real

>>22475522
Are you a fellow Canuck?

>>22475606
A leaf at the least. Berta boy
Same shit, different fields
This could've been a story from my hometown. Wash out teens are the same everywhere

Is this a cute scene, or did I fail to convey it?

>>22475712
it's pretty boring and superficial
dialog shouldn't feel like the characters are playing catch
>The car was silent
>There was a pause
>They sat in silence
hate it
worst of all, who sits in the front seat of an uber?
you need to challenge yourself to write outside your comfort zone more
write 250 words straight of non-verbal communication
in 250 words, describe the path the car takes as a metaphor for their chance encounter
rewrite the scene so that Kayleigh is lying about how many friends she has

>>22475777
I'm sorry, this is a death trap. Which is Superman?

>>22475084
I hope the guy from here who does the epic F Gardner rants and freakouts starts a youtube

>>22475866
F Gardner’s actually improved a lot. I read through his CYOA book because I was curious how the man who wrote Call of the Crocodile could manage a book with branching narratives. He somehow did it lads. It’s formatted fine and was actually really interesting. I’ve come to terms with accepting that F Gardner is an enigma and there is no logical answer. He just somehow defies the odds.

>>22475886
Ok, I'll bite. I'll consider reading your book, if you release it for free somewhere.

having a mental breakdown over how fucking shit my writing is

>>22475930
Let's see it.

>>22475931
i have 8k words right now and don't know what parts to snip to show you so here's a random excerpt from a battle scene i wrote earlier today

>>22475930
Why do you want/have to write?

>>22475956
there is something beautiful inside my head that i want to express. or perhaps it's more accurate to say that I want to give it life and make it real, even in the limited capacity of words on a page, because I know that it is something that i cannot find in life.

except somewhere along the way i started writing a story i don't give a shit about, maybe that's why my writing is so bad. i used to like it. somebody a thread or two ago told me i should only cum inside my beautiful ideas, and right now i feel like i'm fucking filthy whores every time i write.

>>22475953
I don't think it's bad, but for being told in first person it feels very detached from the character. A lot of descriptions about what's happening, but not much about how he's feeling in the moment.

>>22475953
>>22475968
Also:
>Redanian
Is this a witcher fanfic?

>>22475970
No, it's a placeholder name, just the first one that came to mind. If it's from the Witcher I guess I dredged it up from some year old mote of memory in my brain without realizing.

>>22475886
He's just psychopathically clueless. He's a spoiled-rotten asshole with rich parents and a bad case of fetal alcohol syndrome. And he hasn't improved one bit. Stop stroking yourself already, Frank.

>>22475966
based schizo writer

>>22475427
I don't have any tips but I think After Dark by Murakami takes place in a single night and focuses mainly on a single character

I'm running out of synonyms for "brutal" and "cold".

>>22476068
What are you writing that requires those two words so much?

>>22476084
A story that takes place during a brutal winter.

>>22476006
thank you, anon.

>>22472250
1
>>22472582
2

3: https://docdro.id/1atmVQy

>>22476091
Harsh. Frigid. Bitter. Biting (of cold). Freezing (durr). Bone-chilling (hurr).

I think you're just a brainlet who needs to pick up a dictionary.

Should I fade to black in my sex scene? The villain seduced the mc before and it was pretty in depth and I like the idea that when the not villain does it it's fade to black. I can't explain why really but is that a good idea?

>>22476334
If the sex is the only thing that moves the story then just skip to black

If something happens during the sex scene that's important to the plot then do not cut to black

Hey, how do I avoid making my first Original protagonist a Gary Stu?

I've only got experience with fanfics so far, and I want to raise my quality for my first OG work.

>>22476357
>important to the plot
People repeat this but I would break it down further.
>important to the plot
>important to character exposition
>important to worldbuilding
If does either of these, keep it. If I wrote one I'd only write the start before they explicitly start fucking, because honestly, it's nothing to write about. Pretty boring if you think about it.

>>22476373
>how do I avoid making my first Original protagonist a Gary Stu?
You need to realize what makes a Mary Sue.

My protagonist is literally going to be a blond, blue-eyed aryan Chad that's frequently described as immensely handsome.

He's also extremely intelligent, brave, kind, et cetera.

Does this make him a Gary Stu? Maybe if that was the depth of it. Thing is, he would have had a perfectly good life as a doctor if not for [BACKSTORY EVENT] ruining it all and forcing him into basically being the setting's shitty blue collar worker with high chances of death for 10 or so years while also not knowing how to read or write (until he learns by himself).

None of this is superfluous. His good (and very specific) looks bite him in the ass at least once in the story, if not multiple times, his bravery/kindness almost gets him killed literally right at the start, and his extreme intelligence rarely comes useful in practice. Not because I'm a fucking idiot and can't think of a scenario where it would be useful, it's just his line of work is not very brain-intensive beyond the basics.

Does your character at all have any superfluous details? If so, are they literally only there to make him cool and based and awesome and strong? If yes, you might want to reconsider some things.

>Hit the 50,000 word mark
Let. Fucking. GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>22476379
>important to character exposition
>important to worldbuilding
Both of these are irrelevant waste of time if they don't tie to the plot.

>>22476546
>Both of these are irrelevant waste of time if they don't tie to the plot.
Explain why.

>>22476546
If your character doesn't have a tie to the plot, it shouldn't exist to begin with. Don't expand characters that won't exist beyond what you see them.

You have to write under assumption that people will like your setting and your characters. Why would you deprive the reader of the stuff they enjoy?

The plot is primary, but characters and worldbuilding is also vital. Plot should simply take precedence.

>>22476550
>>22476564
>Why would you deprive the reader of the stuff they enjoy?
Do they? Look at it this way: you have one opportunity to be heard. Your readers have given you these few valuable moments of their one and only life. You should think hard how to use that chance and not take it for granted. What is the one thing you absolutely want to tell them, pack everything you have behind that one punch. You're mad if you think your readers are there for the aimless bullshit lives of people who don't exist, or made-up "worldbuilding". Maybe some of them are, but I assure you, the vast majority doesn't give a single fuck. They'll either skim over those parts to get back to the plot, or else you simply lose them.

I only just learnt the difference between "good" and "well", why the fuck wasn't I taught this during English class?

>>22476752
>You're mad if you think your readers are there for the aimless bullshit lives of people who don't exist
Well buddy you're free to write characters that don't resemble people, but I'm willing to bet my arm and leg that some people might actually like characters a little and want to see what they're like. You know, kind of like normal people.
>or made-up "worldbuilding"
You can also not worldbuild but don't be surprised if people think of your setting as completely forgettable and boring.

Stories should be above all entertaining. If something isn't entertaining, it should be removed. The plot is primary, but making your characters seem like real people and your world as it really could exist is also vital to making your story live its own life.

Not going to tell you how to write, it's just what I think.

Is writing in third person always easier?

>>22476778
I find it a lot easier and less restrictive.
There's some stories that work better if written in first person.

First person is hard since narrator by default must not have perfect awareness of everything.

>>22476763
I'm more curious to know why anyone would think they mean the same thing in the first place.

>>22476765
You're a dumb frogposter, so I shouldn't be surprised you failed to understand, but nowhere did I reject developing characters or giving your setting detail. The only point was that you should do so through the story itself and not dedicate scenes and chapters solely to wank your actors. Because they're not as awesome as you seem to think.

>>22476792
I was never taught that they were different.

>>22476795
>and not dedicate scenes and chapters solely to wank your actors
When did I say that?

Who the characters are, what is their essence, what they act like is a vital point to the story, unless they're not important characters. Character and worldbuilding scenes can make a good tool for changing or setting tone.

You sound like you just hate the shit out of writing and hate reading. Why do you do this to yourself?

>>22476763
You weren't taught the difference between adjectives and adverbs? In what kind of jungle banana school were you educated?

>>22476805
That also means you were never taught that they were the same either. You might be the only person to ever live that has confused to two.

>>22476814
>You weren't taught the difference between adjectives and adverbs?
We probably were, I just don't remember.
>In what kind of jungle banana school were you educated?
Small country town in South Australia.

>>22476820
>That also means you were never taught that they were the same either.
I was just taught that they were words that you attributed to positive things.

>>22476792
How is he?
>"He's doing well"
>"He's doing good"

>>22476832
To be fair, they can be interchangeable in certain context.

I'm writing my first original story. How do I keep from making the new writer's first mistake, and not make my MC a Mary Sue?

>>22476893
Both of these mean the "same" thing but clearly they're different. First is more formal, second is more informal.

>the food tasted well
Sounds like literal alien speak.
>the food tasted good
Now this sounds normal.

>>22476911
Nigger, read the thread. >>22476402
There's no one size fits all solution. Write your character while using your brain.

>>22476373
Make him be bad at something. Put him in situations where he has to struggle and can't play to his strengths.

>>22475070
Should I?

How do I write like I enjoy writing?

I finished my first book a few... well, years ago, and after reviewing it over and over I finally decided to pull the trigger and it's now on Kindle. Can I post a link here, or should I just drop the title and if anyone is interested they can find it?
I might lurk on these threads while finishing the second one.

>>22476538
Me too, brother.

>>22477018
>I might lurk on these threads while finishing the second one
Why? You’ve written a book. You’re better than this place.

>>22476986
No, dumb fuck.

Self publishing or trad publish? What do we think boys (and girls?)?

>>22477103
Self publish if you have 0 confidence in yourself or your writing and you essentially just write for fun and yourself.

Traditional publishing if you think you might make it.

Do you make sure your writing passes the Bechdel test? Although, with all the genders these days, how does that even work?

Would you read an adventure story similar to One Piece but with main characters who are unceasingly based? I'm talking no gays allowed, no trans allowed, no athiests/satanists, no political correctness, etc

Or is the point of such series that they're filled with degeneracy?

>>22477134
Spend less time on /pol/ you schizo fuck

>>22477038
I still like it

Tomorrow I'm going to join a creative writing group at my university

>>22477126
>Although, with all the genders these days, how does that even work?
You're thinking way too deep into it, it's still the same as it was when it was created.

>>22477150
Very cool, I hope it goes well, anon.

>>22477168
Me too! It's going to be a different experience getting feedback from people face-to-face.

I am making a game for writing sprints and for those wanting to improve their typing speed. It is structured like a "survivors" style game.

I use writing sprints exclusively for the first draft and then go in and add about 40-60% more words after. This method boosted my words written from about 200-300 words a day to about 2000 words an hour, give or take depending on if I need to replan a section due to the writing needing more space.

I have received pretty good feedback from it so far and I expect to have an alpha version available for public sale on itch.io in the next few weeks. The price will be $5 and users will get lifetime access to it.

Dictation isn't supported natively but I believe that you can get it to work if you have dictation apps. Dictation will not work for the typing side as it looks for keys pressed.

I'm not sure on the name yet. It is currently called "Typing Tower" but it's really a wizard. I'm open for name ideas.

The guy who has been asking about RR a lot, are you still around?

really digging this footnotes gimmick

>>22475688
Im the one who wrote it. I imagine the experience I tried to portray is pretty similiar in MB, SK and AB.
Just a hunch. I dont actually knwo many people outside of Manitoba

>>22477250
Scribe Wizard

>>22477150
Based. Make frens if you want but don't sweat it if you don't

Oh my god.
I've just got it.

>>22476752
>if you think your readers are there for the aimless bullshit lives of people who don't exist, or made-up "worldbuilding"
It would take a five minute look at almost any internet fandom to prove you wrong, you must be smoking some good shit

>>22477250
>It is currently called "Typing Tower" but it's really a wizard.
Just put the wizard in a tower, wizards love towers
Each map can be a different floor of the tower and you can put in some basic plot like he's trying to get to the top to take his tower back from So-and-So the Dark

>>22476993
Why do you want to write, if you don't enjoy it?

>>22476993
>>22477639
>In a sense, every kind of writing is hypocritical. It has to be done with an air of gusto, though no one ever yet enjoyed the act of writing. Even a man with a specific gift for writing, with much to express, with perfect freedom in choice of subject and manner of expression, with indefinite leisure, does not write with real gusto. But in him the pretence is justified: he has enjoyed thinking out his subject, he will delight in his work when it is done.

>>22477680
>Uhm, ackshully, you can't enjoy writing otherwise you're not a REAL writer, chud
This is why people think you people are jokes

so this is an excerpt from my second chapter, can anyone provide critique?

Im trying to paint a vivid picture of overbearing wilderness where my characters will have to survive for a day or two, maybe kill a big fuckoff bear or even search for drinking water.

Any tips or tricks?

>>22477693
You took a genial quote in which a guy is being honest about writing often feeling like an ordeal, and projected onto it a bitter, arrogant statement about authenticity that wasn't in the original at all. Why? Why not just chill out?

>>22477716
>though no one ever yet enjoyed the act of writing.
Just this by itself, this statement is so incredibly stupid as a main point that the quote is completely worthless. How can you legitimately think, out of the countless authors in history, that NONE OF THEM ever enjoyed writing and were just forcing themselves through agonizing mental torture because they had a story they needed to tell? Fuck off man, what a joke.

>>22477139
Spend less time worshipping satan, faggot.

>>22477697
>at each' consciousness
What happened here?
>left the open sky
This might make sense in a context but it doesn't here.
>in it's pursuit
>it's
Please at very least mind basic spelling errors like this.
>flowers choked out the light
Flowers? Choking light out?
>winds hurled dust
I get it but this doesn't paint a picture of a forest or a jungle.

>chose to prepare a camp
Did he have a choice? Also passive voice is bad. Compare:
>prepared a camp
I don't really mind middle of the second paragraph but then
>a tent was erected
Also passive voice. Passive voice sucks and is boring.
>He/they/mercenary/whatever erected (I'd probably use a different word here honestly) a tent
But then
>AND affixed to the earth
I get it and I know how it looks like but I figure a bit about hammering stakes into the ground would probably work better.
>firewood gathered and a place etc etc
People will complain about this but I actually don't mind, but
>gathered, and
Oxford comma if you can.

Overall not that bad, really.

>>22477697
it's fine other than the weird formatting and a few mistakes

sick byrne

>>22477761
>>22477764
thanks, here is fixed version, with a little bit more context.

>>22475319
Lazy and entitled.

>>22477639
I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it. I said I want to write like I enjoy it.

>>22475712
Don't listen to the other guy. Actually, don't ask for critique on these threads at all because you only ever get eternal genrefags looking to take their frustration out on someone. Your dialogue is a little heavy; it needs to be made snappier but convey the same thing. Everything outside of quotation marks is effective.

>>22477967
>you only ever get eternal genrefags looking to take their frustration out on someone
>I literally replied some feedback to a guy
Do you perhaps need meds?

>>22477967
imagine gassing up that bland, limp piece of junk just because it isn't genre fiction

How is this as an apology to a spouse that was cast aside like Medea was by Jason?

(He cast her aside because he grew bored of her, before realizing what he lost after she was gone)

>I've wronged you, and I'm sorry for that
>I swear I will never cast you aside again.
>I will always welcome your company, and cherish each and every moment I spend with you. I promise to always love you, and keep you in my heart forevermore.
>Can you forgive me?

>>22478022
Sounds empty if he doesn't emphasize why he did what he did and what made him regret it.

>>22478041
Hmmm.

So maybe something like this?

>I've wronged you, and I'm sorry for that. I was a great fool. I thought your love stifling and cloying. But our time apart made me realize how great a fool I've been- I realize now your love was warming and comforting, and I missed it's warm embrace in my cold nights.
>I swear I will never cast you aside again.
>I will always welcome your company, and cherish each and every moment I spend with you. I promise to always love you, and keep you in my heart forevermore.
>Can you forgive me?

genre chads stay winning and pseuds can't stand it

How do you write "plotless" fiction? Any examples?

Eureka!
I'm have been stuck in a loop of writers block and procrastination for too long now. I got a crime novel contest coming up, and while I had an idea, I had no faith in it, and I still wasn't sure about the plot. And now it hit me. A wave of inspiration. I turned off the laptop, got my pen and paper, and over the last few hours, I outlined the plot, the characters, their arcs, the twists, the turns, the conclusion, everything. It's all written down now. I got all my ideas in a rough draft on page. Now all that is left, is to write write write the first draft. My editor can take every completed chapter from me as I go, and do editing on them (especially since my chapters are not that long.
Guys, the most important thing is that I believe in my story now. I see it.

>>22477680
Who are you quoting there? It comes across as an asspull.
>>22477884
Then I have no idea what you're complaining about. Care to elaborate? What's the difference between not enjoying writing, and not writing like you enjoy it?

kind of cheating on the whole "no prewriting" thing since I've been brainstorming this idea since I was a teenager

>>22478337

See

>>22475431

but to me Catcher in the Rye is a great example of plotless fiction. Its just character exploration.

>>22478337
Huis Clos (No Exit) might be a good example. The whole play is about the characters having nothing to do.

>>22478459
I think he wants a sense of joy to affect the reader

>share my writing with other people
>random person complains to my boss
>get fired
:(

I didn't know that was possible... never writing again.

>>22478459
> Then I have no idea what you're complaining about. Care to elaborate? What's the difference between not enjoying writing, and not writing like you enjoy it?
How should i know? I received the critique here. Do you retards just give out random nonsense as feedback?

It feels like I just suddenly can't write anymore. Every sentence sounds awkward and boring. I know what needs to happen for the story to progress, but I can't write it down in a way that sounds good. This has never happened to me before (although to be fair I am relatively new to writing).

>>22478735
this is my indicator for when I should drop the book I'm reading and pick up something else

>>22478690
>get fired
https://youtu.be/om5rbtudzrg?si=Z0o1x2hYwqbZFQTE

Woah. Call of the Arcade is kino. Why didn’t you guys tell me how much better this was than CotC?

I really have no idea of whether my writing is good or just really bad. This is part of a short story I've finished writing:
https://pastebin.com/1MyR2bQR

>>22478804
Fuck off Gardner. No one wants to talk about you. Did you learn your lesson from only YESTERDAY, when all your shill-spamming posts got removed by the janitors? Just how clueless are you?

>>22478782
The weird thing is, I'm writing the ending to the story. I feel like everything up to this point has been decent, but suddenly, I just can't do it right anymore.

>>22478804
That’s been out for years. Did you read Call of the Kappa too? If not then wait till you find out what the Kappa is in that. I don’t think I would have ever guessed. For me that was a peak Gardner twist.

>>22478821
Leave the internet. Gardner posting has literally been around for several years. Do you think it’s going anywhere?

I was never properly taught how bad adverbs are for creative writing until fairly recently. So now, after rereading the 2nd draft of my novel, I noticed how many times I used them. What's your opinion on them? If you hate them than whats the best way to make sure I dont accidentally use them again?

>>22478884
They're fine
People neglect to treat adverbs as symbols themselves. It's common to dismiss adverbs as a method of contextualizing and developing subjects rather than something that needs to be supported themselves
If your adverbs usage is ass then idk read more poetry I guess. Verse is stricter than prose and word choice has to be more dliberate, adjectives aren't going to be added if they don't contribute

>>22478344
Go for it anon. You can do it.

>>22478690
Now you have time to write.

>>22478884
I've heard this but then a lot of the books I love use adverbs. I think the anti-adverb myth is just pretensious bullshit spread by writers and not readers. I use a lot and I've had nothing but positive feedback on my writing so, take that as you will.

I do try to avoid them if they aren't contextually needed, but for action scenes especially adverbs keep the pace moving quick.

>>22479015
If you dont mind, can you tell me some of the books that you love that use abverbs?

>>22479015
>>22478942
I think adverbs are bad but they're not the devil.

If you can't think of a word that doesn't end with -ly and a word that would better represent what you're trying to convey, you're either an idiot or it's the best it's going to get.

>>22478866
>hurr durr i've been spamming for years so it's OK
No one talks about you but you, you've been banned from nearly every web site in the world for your autistic behavior, the jannies removing your posts and banning you are evidence they're sick of you too, you completely lack self-awareness, no one reads your unedited pre-kindergarten gibberish, and your YouTube channel is a complete failure. You are a waste of oxygen.

>>22479585
plus someone wrote a parody of his garbage which, unlike any of his "books", is available for free: https://files.catbox.moe/aw9gz2.pdf

>>22477788
Are you ESL? There are sentences here that don't really work or otherwise seem confused. Think you need to just keep work on your prose proficiency. Also its pursuit not it's pursuit

>>22477761
Passive voice can be great when used well. Not that it is here, but this is one of those moronic rules they teach you in an English class and that people mindlessly trot out

>>22477103
In this day and age, it's complicated. It depends on who you are and what you're writing. If you're a straight male writing fiction primarily for a male audience, regardless of your race or ethnicity, you're almost certainly better off self-publishing.

This discord is nothing but a slaughterhouse, and I am one of the cattle. She barely interacts with me or the server at large, and even when we are blessed with her presence, it's never for more than a handful of minutes at a time. She's truly only here to collect the offerings from her livestock, feeding on our entrails and our synapses like a ravenous, flesh-eating parasite. Once satiated, she disappears again under the umbrella of 'Discord status: Invisible'. She then returns to the more important matters of not interacting with her victims, watching anime and reading manga.

This Discord is nothing but a slaughterhouse, and I am one of the cattle. She barely interacts with me or the server at large, and even when we are blessed with her presence, it's never for more than a handful of minutes at a time. She's truly only here to collect the offerings from her livestock, feeding on our entrails and our synapses like a ravenous, flesh-eating parasite. Once satiated, she disappears again under the umbrella of 'Discord status: Invisible.' She then returns to the more important matters of not interacting with her victims, watching anime, and reading manga.

>>22479665
American women suck. Go overseas to find a woman. https://www.zerohedge.com/political/passport-bros-feminists-are-outraged-men-going-overseas-find-traditional-wives

>>22479015
>I think the anti-adverb myth is just pretentious bullshit spread by writers and not readers.
There is so much of this, "do as a say, not as I do," shit in the writing industry, I'm not sure if they're actively trying to sabotage people or just aren't aware of what the average reader finds important. Stephen King seems to be one of the biggest critics of adverbs at first glance, but his best books are chock full of them, and he uses 105 per 10,000 words on average. To be fair, his quote about "the road to hell is paved with adverbs," which people love to parrot was taken out of context.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/786286/adverbs-in-novels-by-author/

>royalroad is down the first business day after I submit my first story
my work was so bad I ruined it for everyone

>>22479845
It was so great people flooded the servers until they burnt to see it

>>22479665
Why? Is it a foolish, inextinguishable hope that you will get something out of it?

>>22476928
But my brain is what's compromised!

>>22479892
Something I've noticed about the men in this "community" is that most of us are older (Late 20s and beyond), work a whole lot (or are straight up workaholics), and don't have much of a life beyond work. That "something" you speak of for me was friendship and having a place where you can completely relax after work. That was before. Now that it's become clear that she couldn't care less about anyone but herself, it's more of a sunk cost fallacy situation. Completely walking away after spending so much time on someone is hard.

>>22479665
Why should I care about some discord tranny and your thirst for a rotting fronthole?

>>22479973
Wait, he’s reporting on his experiences simping in a discord? I thought it was some creative writing.

>>22479852
Where the fuck is my paycheck then

How much do you guys plan out your stories? I have a general idea of what I want to write and I just go with the flow, but often I find myself thinking that certain parts don't make much sense and bring nothing to the story.

Should I plan my story and start from there or should I keep going with the flow and then going back to edit everything and remove parts that don't bring much to the story?

>>22480090
Depends on the story. For plays or screenplays I go very heavy on the planning. Every stage in a film/play should to be filled with a special blend of drama that drives things forward and that's significantly easier to make happen when you know what you're doing before you get into it. For short stories and novels I'm much more loosey goosey. What I like to do is draw a thumbnail cartoon for every sequence in the novel but sometimes I just go at it with zero prewriting of any kind.
I'll note that as a consequence of my personality I do a lot of brainstorming so by the time I start putting any words to page I've already got a fairly good idea of what it's going to be.

Haven't posted in a minute but wanted to share my response to Starfield by Bethesda Softworks.

CONSPICUOUS SLOP CONSUMPTION: https://tookys.substack.com/p/conspicuous-slop-consumption

Have a few guest articles planned and always open to more if you have anything you think could be a fit, just email to TookysMag@gmail.com

>The love interest isn't actually human but an alien
How much does she actually need to differ from a human girl, personality wise?

>>22475431

> home-depot
Home Depot

>stress free
stress-free

>fabulous summer
>extraordinary summer
>unforgettable summer

I suggest avoid making such bombastic claims.

Over all, there is potential here but the proportions don't seem right. Your "intro" seems too long, too long a list of things happening that summer, too many names and so on. It seems like your real story starts with the arrival of the girl, and to get to that point you really ought to only have one introductory paragraph about the summer and the rest of the story shoudl be a bout that relationship with the girl, given the short length of your story.

Of course if you were writing something longer you could go on for pages with the "intro" but with such a short piece the proportions feel off completely and also the things you do talk about feel like they're dealt with too briefly so it comes off feeling like a list, an overly-long one.

Try limiting yourself to a paragraph to set the scene and avoid superlatives about the summer being so extraordinary. That's something the reader can decide for him/herself based on the story you're telling.

>>22480663
There needs to be a meaningful distinction between human and alien (not just physiological). Culture, outlook/imagination, values...you've got to make a creative choice here to justify the girl being alien instead of human. Because if she's essentially human except blue and with antennae or some shit, it's pointless. Unironically go watch some good episodes of Star Trek for inspiration.

>>22480757
>Because if she's essentially human except blue and with antennae or some shit, it's pointless
but blue skin and having antennae is sexy

I have a character who needs to send out a distress signal, but they know that if they actually ask for help, they'll attract pirates. What sort of clever signal could they send (at any distance) to get somebody to arrive quickly, but without disclosing their vulnerable state? Previously I had it that they were mimicking animal sounds and hoping that somebody would come to hunt them, but I'm not satisfied with that.

>>22480911
What's your setting?

Maybe they can send a message addressed to the regional authority, pretending to be a friendly security dispatch and requesting reinforcements. Pirates won't go near that because 1) There's no indication of loot, 2) The party sending the message is supposedly armed & trained, and 3) They're requesting that even more armed & trained people come out.

>>22480940
it's functionally the American frontier so there isn't much in the way of a regional authority. At the moment I've swapped it out with a signal for hitchhiking and the cleverness comes from just knowing enough about the culture of travel to be able to produce the signal

>>22480911
>they'll attract pirates

Why would you want to eliminate that possibility? You're writing a story so those kind of risks are part and parcel of the adventure. Your character knows he's going to attract pirates but he has no choice. He has to do it anyway. Then maybe he even sees pirates approaching at the same time that help is approaching. What happens next?

My writing feels soulless lately. I don't know what I need in order to inject the spark back into it or why that spark is gone. But it is very frustrating.

>>22481163
The scenario is: they left their burning wreck because the smoke was going to attract pirates, forcing them to wander off into the woods. One character has a secret motive to get away from the wreck, which is that he's trying to escape into the land that they arrived at. He convinces them to leave on the condition that he can signal to the natives (not indians, but other frontiersmen) in a way that will be safer than sticking around.

Do you guys know any authors you would recommend who do particularly evocative descriptions of landscapes and the beauty of nature?

What do you think of this poem?

Turnip sky: Below a trench of pepper
Pips and beryl grass. A looney counting
Coins of Lord Bizarre—who died tomorrow—
Moron? Not an odding chap but founting;
Up and down the flation goes in Tunic
Town where money’s worth a bag of colour.
Pistol cocked the looney locked the Bizarre
Lord in sight. He shot and shot and shot and
Shot and shot and shot, reload, and shot the
Marti Lord a hundred times in Tunic
Town where money’s worth a bag of colour.

I envy you anglophone bros, im writing in french, who will ever read my shit?

>>22481209
Would scroll past in the poetry thread

>I'm the best duelist that ever lived, and nobody's even heard of me. I beat all the greats. Dhan von Sol. Mihail the Flash. Relk and Ivan, both at the same time. One by one, their names have all been added to my list.
>I've been to Alteia. I didn't lose a single match. I've mastered every school of magic in the world. I can throw a fireball better than Blazing Eamon. I have a stronger barrier than Wulfrid. I've mastered spells you could never even dream of -- thousands of them.
>But nobody knows my name. Nobody cheers for me when I get onto the stage. It's like I'm a ghost. I've even fought again in the humble arena of my hometown, back where everything began, but nobody recognized me. Nobody responds to what I say.
>What use is talent when it isn't respected by others? What's been the point of it all? My efforts have born no fruit. This endeavor is a flower that does not bloom. I think I'm finished, Alric. I can't go on any longer. What a waste these last three decades of my life have been. I wish I could take it all back. But time is immutable, and before its whims even my limitless intellect amounts to little. That time is lost to me forever, just as the fruits of my passion are and forever will be. Some nights, in my dreams, I can see it -- my future. The one that I'll never have. And that is more painful than any duel I've been in.

thoughts?

Rate my plan, /wg/

>write a bunch of short stories
>post one on a site each week to grow audience
>eventually start a Patreon
>hope that I build enough of a fan base I can get a novel trad published because I'm lazy and can't deal with self-publishing
>???
>profit

I suppose I'll also try and get some short stories published in weird small things like Occult Detective Mag along the way

>>22481268
moi
aussi, je crois que les francophones ont un culture qui apprecie beaucoup plus la litterature que nous les anglophones
C'est a dire, pt vous disposez du moins des lecteurs totaux, mais vos lecteurs apprecient beaucoup plus la bonne litterature

>>22481286
I like it.

>>22478344
Hey I remember you. Good luck with that.

>>22481286
>both at the same time. One by one,
it's fine
maybe have him speculate as to why he's as accomplished as he is and yet nobody remembers him because it's not intuitive that it could just happen like that

>>22481298
Basé, but I know noone will ever, even if you're being kind here

>They rode on into the mountains and their way took them through high pine forests, wind in the trees, lonely bird calls. The shoeless mules slaloming through the dry grass and pine needles. In the blue coulees on the north slopes narrow tailings of old snow. They rode up switchbacks through a lonely aspen wood where the fallen leaves lay like golden disclets in the damp black trail. The leaves shifted in a million spangles down the pale corridors and Glanton took one and turned it like a tiny fan by its stem and held it and let it fall and its perfection was not lost on him. They rode through a narrow draw where the leaves were shingled up in ice and they crossed a high saddle at sunset where wild doves were rocketing down the wind and passing through the gap a few feet off the ground, veering wildly among the ponies and dropping off down into the blue gulf below.

Does he only get away with his awkward phrasings because of his reputation? I mean, I personally like his prose but I feel like if an amateur writer presented this same passage to anyone they would rip it to shreds.

>>22481474
While reading it I thought it was clumsy
Whos he

>>22481501
cormac mccarthy, it's from blood meridian

>>22481474
>if an amateur writer presented this same passage to anyone they would rip it to shreds
In a vacuum, maybe. But if that amateur presented a whole novel like this, then he would be duly recognized as an original voice. Consistency and volume transform awkwardness into a signature style.

>>22481413
post an excerpt ill read it right now

>>22480744
>Over all, there is potential here

please elaborate so that I can expand on that. I agree that I should add more content about the relationship itself.

>>22481474
calling mccarthy's "phrasing" awkward can only come from a place of purest autism
but also the travel segments in blood meridian are written in a significantly different style than the rest of the novel

>>22481209
>Not an odding chap but founting;
>Up and down the flation

Very good except I don't understand this part. Is it some kind of dialect?

>>22481413

You could always write in Spanish.

>>22481545
It's literally grammatically incorrect, how is that not awkward?

>>22481592
hes literally famous

>>22480911
That's very close to what happened in one part of "The Chaos Weapon" by Colin Kapp. It just gave the protag another complication. You need to give your protags lots of challenges to overcome, or else your reader will get bored.

>>22481205
"Kidnapped" by Robert Louis Stevenson spends most of its time in the wilderness, and he describes a lot of it.

it's not about giving your protagonist "challenges"
it's about showing the reader memorable experiences they have
if the experiences aren't memorable then the reader gets bored, if they are they don't, nobody is reading a book thinking consciously about overarching challenges, they are thinking about if a scene is making their eyes glaze over

I like to play the sims 2 Should I take inspo from all the juicy drama that happens in my negiorhood and just work from there as a framework for a story?

>>22481660
I, and Dwight V. Swain, beg to differ. Goals, conflict, disaster.

>I was taken aback by this man's eccentric taste in interior decor, but none was so striking as the large german shepherd painting with the Kinkade-esqe backdrop contrasting the hound's officer garb. "You look at that painting", he bellowed while raising his arm and pointing, "that is my grandfather, you do not touch the portrait of my grandfather. If you ever do, I will nail your hands to their mark, and BLOOD will come dripping down like MILK." And I was like WHAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!

is it weird to use "underfoot" from the pov of somebody on horseback?
what about "underhoof"?

Should I mark my story with the profanity/gore/sexual content warnings if these things come up but aren't excessive or overly descriptive? All the profanity is one f-word but it's in reference to the act.

>>22481611
So is F Gardner. What’s your point?

>>22481979
I meant on Royal Road

>>22481980
4chan famous doesn't count as famous.

>>22481660
Usually our most memorable experiences are the most challenging and those challenges are usually come to in pursuit of an overarching goal

>>22481205
Mervyn Peake has some really great environmental descriptions in his Gormenghast trilogy though most of the environments are parts of Castle Gormenghast and not natural.

>>22481196
You're depressed, it'll pass, if it doesn't get on some med or an hero

>>22480175
>my response to Starfield by Bethesda Softworks
>Gamer-Americans
>an asteroid sized motherlode of gamer outrage

>>22482001
It passed a couple hours ago, after weeks of hating everything I wrote I'm writing pure kino again. We're so FUCKING back. I love writing bros. What a beautiful thing.

>>22481980
These stats >>22479585 are not the mark of someone that's famous. More like a self-aggrandizing blowhard phony.

>>22482024
And there goes the mania. Get some writing done before the depression kicks in again

whats a site i can upload my writing to like pastebin to fit it and send it to people? im paranoid of pastebin not deleting my shit and having it plagiarzied desu

>>22482039
Litterbox

>>22479585
I mean at least he places

>>22482043
His rich daddy pays for views/likes/subscribes. He has no organic fanbase whatsoever.

>>22482053
They say fake it till you make it for a reason

>>22482056
He's been faking it for years...it's not going to work.

>>22482060
I hope so too, but I can only hope

>>22481709
dunno but I wish they released a version of the sims that was just the create-a-sim part and not the actual game part because I love making characters in that game but the gameplay is boring as hell

>>22482000
Im rereading gormenghast and I find that the environmental descriptions are often weak
Sometimes they're very charming and striking, but i feel gormenghast excels far more at character description than environmental

>>22477598
Yes and I add that the writing is spells that he has to use to advance in the tower and tame the slutty succubuses who lust after his life force

What authors do battle scenes and fighting well? I want to see different styles of it

>>22481712
that book is a long-form schizopost and i'm not sure how anyone could take it seriously

>>22481991
usually, but if you think of scenes in only that way you miss out on lots of beautiful little moments that you could be telling the readers about. like that BM excerpt anon posted above, what challenge was Glanton overcoming when he stopped to look at a leaf? that moment with the leaf was probably more important to the author than the fact that they traveled from point A to point B in that scene.

>>22482019
It's self aware humor and that post is actually giving me a nice bump in subs. I guess people like topical stuff. Consider submitting!

>Clay and dirt feuded violently in the air, countless red and brown currents tumbling unceasingly over one another amidst rocketing rivers of sand that twisted this way and that, and all the while their vast, billions-strong armies of particulates vied for dominion over all that was. They clashed again and again, a dizzying display of showmanship, a dance of crimson and ochre borne aloft on shrieking wings of wind.

Would you close the book or keep reading if this was the opening paragraph?

>>22482337
I would rather submit my cock to a woodchipper

I just unlocked writing bro.
It's all just watering a flower.

>>22482218
Tolsty's W & P

>>22475070
I write taboo erotica, some from experience. Can I get in legal trouble for trying to publish it or even just making it available?

>>22482460
You will be arrested and executed or at least should be for unironically asking 4chan for legal advice

>>22475070
His story is interesting. he was a normal if not gifted kid

>>22482419
The books premise would have to be better than its writing

>>22482419
I would be intrigued. I think the particulates clause is a little awkward but I like what you were going for.

>>22482419
really convoluted and without a premise, but sure, its buttery construction could drag me in for a few minutes

>>22481914
Give us more context.

>>22482150
I've made it through the first 3 chapters of Gormenghast and find it incredibly boring. How the hell is this considered classic literature?! It's not quite as ghastly as James Joyce's Ulysses, but it's in the ballpark.

>>22483032
Fucking hell imagine disliking Ulysses and thinking you're smart or have a worthwhile appreciation of literature

>>22483032
Your literacy rate is too low
Start with easier material and come back when you're comfortable reading

>>22483098
>>22483159
I understand it fine...the problem is that nothing interesting happens.

>>22475070
How do you get writing ideas?

>>22483245
I listen to music or literally just do anything that lets my mind wander.

>>22483245
steal them

>>22483245
me? I just make shit up

>>22483245
I mash together everything I know then peel off unimportant layers untill I distill something edible, then I expand and polish it further.
I have a whole reference pdf about a whole world, along with continents, cultures, new "donut steel" original races and more, written in just a day, because I was bored.

>>22483245
>>22483256
>>22483473
why do you want to write to begin with if you don’t have any ideas? I genuinely do not understand. There's little money in this profession

>>22483567
“ideas” are cheap and easy, and don’t make a good book. execution does.

>>22483245
They're beamed into my head while I'm asleep just like everyone else

>>22483245
Unironically just by wanting an idea you've put bait on the line and cast it. Leave yourself enough mental free time to free-associate and you'll come up with something.

>>22483763
Ideas are the root of everything you write, dummy. You're not just writing random words in a row.

>>22483567
Could be he's attracted by the allure of being considered a "writer." Could be he just wants to pick up a new hobby. There's more to life than making the bank number go up for most people.

>>22483567
when you start out writing you have tons of ideas and gradually over time you realize all those ideas are bad and the good ideas are precious nuggets of gold that come in moments of inspiration or flow state

>>22483990
>ideas are precious nuggets of gold
Bullshit. This guy >>22483763 has more sense than you. Ideas are cheap. If you don't have any ideas you should be able to sit back, relax for a while, and come up with some new ones. If you can't do that it's probably because you're subjecting yourself to so many psychological woes your brain's been beaten down too much to have any fun. That or you have some form of retardation that hinders or prevents creativity.

>>22482419
Yeah. Save the flowery descriptions of the environment until you've given me a hook to care about your story. Unless your book is a literary version of a BBC nature documentary, open with what your main characters are doing.

>>22484014
what you're doing is mistaking marketing pitches for ideas
plenty of times have I sold myself on a marketing pitch like "what if the ants were pirates" but that's not an idea. It doesn't contain the core identity from which the story grows. You might sell yourself such a good pitch that you feel fine stumbling in the dark until you walk backwards into the core idea, but at that point you're just using writing as a creative aid.

>>22484086
this is likely an instance of different people using the same word (“idea” in this case) but meaning completely different things. I’m not retarded or autistic enough to argue with you about what “idea” means. good bye.

How would you convey the concept of ominously positive and cheerful people?

>>22484243
I already made the distinction between good ideas and bad ideas (aka marketing pitches)
bad ideas are cheap because they're bad

>>22484298
you’re still just moving the goalposts, the question was how do you get writing ideas, not how do you tell the difference between “good” and “bad” ideas or whatever.

>>22484310
the question was "how does somebody not have writing ideas" which was explained with "ideas are cheap" and the answer is that ideas which excite the layman are cheap, ideas which excite the craftsman are not—and it's disingenuous to pretend like they're interchangeable by giving advice like that

>>22484365
No. The question was literally what I said
>>22483245
>How do you get writing ideas?
to which several answers were given, and you decided to move the goalposts and start to argue about whether “good” ideas were easy to come by or not.

>>22484086
What the fuck are you talking about, you pretentious ass? "Marketing pitches?" I'm talking about ideas, and not just "core" ideas. Ideas branch out and grow roots and flowers. Writers are the bees who spread their pollen and not the ganderners who plant them.

>>22484365
>ideas which excite the layman are cheap, ideas which excite the craftsman are not
The distinction between the two does not exist outside your small mind.

>>22484284
I wouldn't because I don't have any ideas that lend themselves to that concept.

>>22484284
Playful questioning on subjects that shouldn't be talked about

>>22484401
I don't think you know what "moving goalposts" means
I'm responding to call out >>22483763 this post
>>22484413
>Writers are the bees who spread their pollen and not the ganderners who plant them.
lmao calling me pretentious and then writing this
>>22484423
one day you'll get there and understand
I believe in you

>>22484462
and I’m right. your “idea” could be
>guy walks around his hometown for 500 pages and we read his thoughts about the people he encounters, his memories of his life here, his musings on love and death, etc
and that could be a great novel read by millions for centuries after your death or completely forgettable trash that less than a thousand people on earth will ever read, depending on the execution.

>>22484462
>lmao calling me pretentious and then writing this
https://youtu.be/WQ6FfGeIsbg?si=A7qq-lLPozPbmDCN

>>22484462
I was there for a while and I left. I figured out that the only distinction between slop and delicatessen is personal taste. One man's trash is another's treasure, à chacun son goût, etc.

>>22484433
Fair enough.

>>22484453
Oooh, that's a good one, thanks.

>>22483245
I have small nightly psychotic episodes, including delusions, reading into conspiracies, and panicking about 1 specific thing
usually I write or remember what they're about, then in the morning after the pills have kicked in and prevented delusions until the meds stop affecting me, I write about those delusions in subtle and non psychotic ways

right now I am writing about a scifi future with aliens, political tensions, and war, all stemming from delusions of.... aliens stalking me, politics being the death of us, and war being around the corner.

by the way, the book has nearly nothing in common with my delusions and my delusions aren't my actual beliefs

why is it so hard to write a hard sci-fi book with no plotholes?

>we have the technolgy to make flying vehicles a common occurrence, but it uses xenon fuel
>how are people not landing in comas and dying from xenon poisoning?
>uhh the uhh... they wear gasmasks as casual fashion? the xenon is.. uhhh filtered from the atmosphere?

>>22484934
I don't get it. Gas fumes are toxic but drivers use that as fuel every day and rarely get poisoned.

>>22484934
This is why so many sci-fi writers go for the fictional material approach

>>22484943
well, you see when we burn gasoline it turns into carbon. when theres a lot of cars, people (ie. look at photos of a crowded street in china) wear masks to filter some of the carbon from entering their lungs, imagine the entire globe consisting of roughly 50 billion people used majorly flying vehicles using xenon fuel to travel, and every single "town" consisted of skyscrapers and more glowing signage adding to the amount of xenon, argon and neon signage, practically everyone would have to wear a mask of some sort to prevent poisoning from these gases.

>>22484934
Make them electric.

>>22484975
Then have them wear the masks. Or come up with some new catalytic converter-like technology that converts the xenon exhaust to something else.

>>22484993
>electric vehicle
>make them flying
>how do they fly?
>giant drone wings that take up extra space, need to fold in somehow, need to be protected from collision, and preferrably need to look good
>or via an ion propeller, an underdeveloped field open to imagination, but likely would need some fuel to have enough thrust to make it off the ground, other than base oxygen, just like a battery on an electric vehicle needs the fuel of lithium
>which fuel has low chances of interaction and forming bonds with other chemicals? xenon, the best contender, high ionization, meaning higher potential for lift
they are electric anon. the propulsion is ion propulsion. ion propulsion works better with a fuel
>>22484994
https://youtu.be/6H0qsqZjLW0?si=mCUnpTz5vSAdyat8
I dont know where you would add on an exhaust that wouldn't completely block the propulsion itself
unless I imply that we became extremely efficient in simply oxygen ion propulsion like here
https://youtu.be/IorDYGI1uqc?si=DZNlSf3sNPPZ3Kw8

>>22484975
>writer figures out global warming through sci-fi "plothole"

>>22485022
Make it take off using high propulsion zenon fuel then fly and glide using mostly electric. Your problem is CO2 pollution? Making the fuel only used in take off and emergency breaking that aught to dramatically cut the emissions. If fully electric is retarded then consider hybrids, get creative it's sci-fi.

>>22485036
>implying I wasn't already aware and not wodering how to explain away how exactly there isn't a global catastrophe in a story that doesn't focus on that aspect of existence at all
I don't want to even have to explain to someone asking questions about my story "hey lol why isn't everyone dead and all plant life rotting and extinct from the gas?", it should be "hey lol thats a nice balance between pollution and recycling"
>>22485044
gravity, but at this point, I'm thinking of abandoning hard science just to fucking get this thing rolling. even though theres gonna be someone sperging about "hey, thats too much weight for an ion thruster relying on oxygen to theoretically hod up without the thruster being giant blah blah it would fall down", fuck it. it's good enough.
yeah sure its science FICTION, but I've read too many star wars critiques that consist of "lightsabres are impossible, read my 20 page explanation why!" "TIE fighters would NEVER exist!!" "a spaceship can NEVER look like that, the drag would be too heavy!!!" and I honestly don't want my story to be one of those.

>>22484934
>in the process of exploring space humanity came across alien life on another planet
>space plants
>space TREES
>they consume CO2 at a dramatic rate
>relocate to earth
>humanity has to increase their CO2 emissions to keep the planet's temperture from plummeting
Wow no more china-tier atmosphere, in-fact "pollution" is encouraged. Doesn't even have to be a plant, could be an insect or fish or whatever.

I've decided that I want to try to write a draft of a novel in a very short timespan. I'm thinking 10 days. I know I can write at a 10k words per day pace - not very well, but coherently, and that's all I'm looking for. What kind of shit should I prepare? So far I have
>detailed descriptions of protagonist and antagonist
>a short synopsis of the protagonist's journey
>a short list of important characters that they'll interact with
Anything else that will help me improvise faster? I'd like to finish preparing tomorrow and start the day after. I have enough free time for this for about two weeks, so I don't have time to go full autismo and draw out maps and family trees.

>>22485073
>CO2
xenon.
but same principle, fuck it, xenon consuming alien plant life

>>22485070
>I'm thinking of abandoning hard science just to fucking get this thing rolling
Don't get bogged down in the details. When things get tough keep it vague. The reader only needs to know so much. Explain the things you're confidant make sense, the rest can be described but not explained. Unless the reader has a reason to think
>"this doesn't make sense within the setting"
they won't. But if getting started is your issue then yeah fuck it all for now and get a move on. This is second draft discussion.

>>22485076
>who are they?
>what do they want?
>what goes wrong?
>why?
>how does it end?
ez pz
>>22485088
>don't get bogged down in the details
thing is it's a graphic novel, so there's a visual aspect, and some of the characters are school age, so there's going to be diagrams in the backgrounds and the teacher.... teaching, all in the first chapter, which isn't a big portion of the book, but it'll be there, and there's a mechanic character that repairs vehicles and does illegal neurochip trade.
while it's not going to be an in depth talk, I need something to say
>hey, the cars fly thanks to advancements in spacetravel in YYYY, they use X fuel
>strides were made towards pollution when they became consumer grade, we use XYZ
>then ZYX helped with recycling of X fuel
all while some conversation or thought is happening in the foreground

>>22485070
>there isn't a global catastrophe in a story that doesn't focus on that aspect of existence at all
Watch the movie Don't Look Up

>>22485106
>graphic novel
That changes things. Though you can still put things off until your second draft if it helps you get the ball rolling. Maybe something'll come to you later down the track.

>>22485129
>theres political riots, hacking to expose political espionage to expose slander campaigns, an intergalactic war with a species of aliens that view themselves as superior (more than a book later), economic divide, drug addiction, and crime
>make sure to stuff the story more with catastrophic pollution too!!!
no. maybe in a later book in the series.
>>22485132
for now, im going to go with xenon ion thrusters turning off on approaching stable latitude and some sort of plant consuming xenon as well as some sort of atmospheric gas collection device

>>22482419
>billions-strong
Clearly written by an idiot.

>>22485129
That's not a bad call anon.
>the pollution issue verges on catastrophe
>obvious to the reader
>perhaps obvious to the protagonist(s)
>the government and the everyman overlook it in favor of other (potentially frivolous) "issues", or serious ones
He could simply have the worsening atmosphere as ambiance. Doesn't need to be important to the plot, only important to the setting. Then when it comes to >>22485106
>there's going to be diagrams in the backgrounds and the teacher.... teaching
There mightn't be any strides to combat pollution, only the gratuitous praise for the achivement of flying automobiles, without any meaningful thought into the impacts on the climate. Or the solutions shown are intentionally portrayed as flawed by the author, yet are oversold by the character. It could be for propaganda reasons rather than incompetence. There are many interesting ways to approach this situation without it having baring on anything, other than creating a complex setting.

>>22485164
>for now, im going to go...
That'll do for now, absolutely.

>spend an hour on one little paragraph
>pretty sure it reads like ass
I had a lot of fun writing it but I don't know about it
probably cut the green thing. any ideas on how I could make it feel more flowing?

I've been thinking of writing a ridiculous over the top western romp about a cowgirl who violently murders rustlers and wanted outlaws. I envision the extent of her ruthlessness to outmatch literal horror movie killers like Art the Clown.
Could be cool.

>>22485203
I like it anon. The descriptions are vivid and imaginative. I think the opacity of the piece is a result of most things being introduced through metaphor. I find when it comes to clarity it's best to state, briefly, the subject at it is. You add the description through metaphor after the reader has established an image to build off of.

>>22485261
The issue I imagine you'll run into is whether or not you'd like your audience to smile at the violence or become enthralled with terror. It's a fantastic idea but it needs a consistent tone.

dunno if i'm gmi bros.

>>22485308
Neither. But anon, the least we can do it is try. Tell me about your troubles.

>>22485317
I guess I just don't have a clear vision of what my plot is or what my character's journey will be. So far I've just been putting my characters in interesting/difficult scenarios and I think I have some good scenes and likeable characters but I have zero idea of an overarching plot and I don't really know how to figure one out. My intention was for the novel to be more of a character exploration and I didn't want to get bogged down planning so I didn't really consider the plot much beforehand.

Also the prospect of finishing a novel just seems incredibly daunting. I'm about 15k words in and I feel like I'm still only 1% done with what I want to write. Finishing seems so impossibly far away.

>>22485348
I'm more or less in the same boat. I have an overarching plot but it's just pretext for
>putting my characters in interesting/difficult scenarios
The characters are good, some scenes are excellent but as a whole it feels lacking. It's easy to lose hope, but let's not? Maybe we're more suited for short stories? It just feels a waste. I have so many good scenes to throw my characters into but it feels contrived having the plot structured around those scenes rather than vice versa.

>>22485407
Yeah I'm not planning to give up. Writing just has a way of making my motivation and mood fluctuate like a schizophrenic on 10 different medications. Sometimes it makes me feel like shit but I prefer that to the feeling I get when I don't write. And sometimes it makes me feel fantastic.

I just went for a long walk to think about things and organize my writing in my head and I have come up with a much clearer picture of the story I want to tell and where I want to go with things, so I have some direction now. Hopefully you can do the same anon, let's keep working at it together.

>>22483225
So...you're unable to point out anything interesting that happens in James Joyce's "Ulysses", or "Gormenghast"?

>>22483032
>>22483225
>first 3 chapters of Gormenghast
>3rd chapter is Swelter
>boring
>nothing happening
No taste, no reading comp

>>22483225
based speedreader

>>22485529
schizophrenic here

so it makes you lose all motivation and feeling and sleep for 24 hours at a time with no libido and an absolutely monstrous appetite?

how many pages until a chapter is too long?

>>22485987
76

>>22485987
two pages more than when it was too short.

>>22485996
>>22485992
I mean like 5000 words? 8000 words? 10000 words?

I know 2000-5000 is safe but when is it too much?

>>22486010
just write the fucking book

>>22486010
The point is there is no correct one-size-fits-all answer. A chapter should be exactly as long it needs to be. There are certainly authors who religiously try to produce chapters of some fixed particular size. Then there are authors who will write a 2000 word chapter and the next one will be 25000 because that is what they think the story requires.

>>22486019
I am, that's why I'm worrying if my fucking book has chapters that are too long

>happen to gain inspiration and a sudden will to write a minute after 9 pm and up until i get too tired to sleep
>have various medical conditions that practically make any unusual sleeping arrangements impossible
>unable to function if i sleep one hour less than 7
I should probably start waking up early to write.

Damn, just wrote my plot outline despite writing several chapters (I had a vague idea of the story in my head, this was just the first time I sat down and outlined it) but boy is it dry. Wouldn't call it boring but it's not particularly exciting either despite a lot of crazy shit happening. I can only hope the execution comes out alright....

>>22483032
What the fuck do you want us to explain? It's an amazing book. The very first sentence gives you insight into the history of Ghormenghast and every sentence is dripping with subtext and backstory. It's a dense and ponderous text but it knows how to be extremely exciting and funny.
Crazy that you bring up Ulysses because that's next on my reading list after Gormenghast book 2. Makes me think I'm really going to like Ulysses.

>he's read more books than he's written
lmao get on my level

>>22486184
>hes drawn more pictures than he's looked at
not good and also impossible
>the average kid reads 22 books a year in school
>anon has written over 396 books assuming hes 18 and hasn't gone to college
sure

>>22486192
I definitely did not read 22 books a year in school
Maybe 10 total

So, here's an idea.
>Story from first person perspective
>A story from first person perspective from a different character
>They end up clashing as adversaries from book to book
Does the concept seem intriguing?

>>22486195
>I read 10 books and they were ALL when I was learning to read, I SKIPPED all of my english book assignments, and I NEVER read for my own enjoyment.

the only way this is possible is if you were homeschooled

>>22486195
>english book assignment at least once a month, meaning 6 books a year
>learning to read and elementary school reading classes amounts to at least 100 books per year through 1st to 3rd grade, at least 300 books
>considering you're writing a book, at some point you read books for your own enjoyment, possibly 20 books, with inability to remember most
>textbooks count as books too, at least 20 of them
>total: roughly 380 books, only capable of remembering 10 particularly good one

get to writing anon, you have over 300 books to go

>>22484934
Why is it absolutely necessary the flying vehicles use a highly poisonous gas?

>>22486234
https://www.nasa.gov/centers/glenn/about/fs21grc.html

high mass, meaning higher power in propulsion, and low reactivity to other chemicals, meaning less chance for fires, disasters, etc., as well as the highest ionization energy, meaning it ionizes at a very high rate

basically
>xenon get electrocuted, go zooooooooom

>>22486192
I wrote them with AI assistance

>>22486201
No because it's extremely vague and not much more than a gimmick.

>>22486245
It's science *fiction." Make something up. Get creative.

>>22486310
its "hard" science fiction, make things up but make them sound realistic and have possibilities in reality.

>>22486319
>flying cars are commonplace in his reality
>his concern is some bullshit about fumes and not the daily horrible accidents and catastrophic terrorist attacks

>>22486330
>titanium protection
>police state
>literal chips in the brain that can, if they want, record your every movement
>they do record your every movement, but its usually used after you commit a crime
>plus crime is already rampant and written about as a main plot point
>including acts of terror such as rioting, destroying business
literally within the first page, one of the main characters is trying to make their way to school and asks for a ride, and the dude he's asking feels like its an attempt to steal or rob him, within the next few pages, theres talks about riots around the town

>we have cars that can go anywhere
>"why arent car related terrorist attacks constantly on the news?"
idk man, probably because mostly everyone with a car, in my story or in reality, is just trying to get to some place and not drive into a government building?

>>22486338
I don't get you. You're able to write off all that bullshit but some crap about fumes is giving you trouble?

>>22486338
I find it interesting how you ignored the comment about accidents

>>22486394
>nuanced choice on what does and doesn't matter
>haven't fullly fleshed everything out, the current matter that is being fleshed out is pollution, something that would kill more people than accidents (just learn to drive before you drive, there isnt an insane amount of people crashing cars every day) and terrorism (most people aren't terrorists)
>>22486403
>hey I hate having no plotholes
>so why aren't you talking about ALLLLLLL of the plotholes right now
oh yeah of course, how do I explain how brain chips that download information into your brain don't include how to drive, how do I explain that AI definitely doesn't drive these vehicles for the most part already, how do I explain that they dont have traffic drones
and, of course, the actual plotholes, how do I explain why they still have schools when you have literal brain chips? how do I explain how the school system even works at all? how do I explain how literally all jobs aren't taken by AI when AI is practically capable of any job whatsoever? how do I explain how everyone isn't just attached to their advaned equivalent of the phone, the iris? how do I explain how you arent a giant cock loving faggot? how do I explain how addiction to drugs doesn't take over everyones life and every character that does drugs isn't a completely run down junkey that overdoses in their bathroom on a tuesday evening? how do I explain how the spaceships work? how do I explain a whole lot of shit that doesn't pertain to the importance of the story in daily life the way the literal most common form of transportation within the story does.

>>22486469
Not often I see someone both overthinking and not thinking at all

>>22486481
I'm exhausted from 4 days of overthinking, not much sleep, and my sleeping pills are kicking in.

I'm halfway inbetween going insane and going to sleep

>>22486487
I feel your problems may go deeper than just your writing.

>>22486492
I mean >>22484802 this is me, you're not wrong

>>22486499
unironically take your meds

>>22486519
>and my sleeping pills are kicking in.
again? I'd rather not sleep for 24 hours

>>22486524
I meant the antipsychotics, silly billy

>>22486529
>what is seroquel
>an antipsychotic used off label for sleep

I say sleep med because of the dirty connotations.

I have delusions for 30 minutes out of my day, I'm not stabbing people and screaming about satan while laughing and crying. I'm schizophrenic, not buffalo bill from silence of the lambs, yknow. I mean I'm also not john nash from a beautiful mind, but closer to that minus the intelligence than buffalo bill

>>22486531
For me it's abilify

>>22486606
that shit left me drooling And twiching, fuck thart

>>22486609
well, its time to sleep, I cant spell or focus anymore

I can't post due to my IP range...?

>>22486768
My Internet is out & starting new threads from a tethered-phone connection is banned for some reason. Someone else will have to create the new thread. Here was my text/image, so you can copy/paste if you're lazy:

The "I Could Be Illegal" Edition

Previous: >>22475070

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j22EOEAVw0

>>22486773
new
>>22486818

>>22485036
>global warming
The thing that doesn't exist?

>>22478823
write the fucking ending and worry about how to fix it later
even if you have to throw out everything you've written so far, that's progress compared to sitting there trying to figure out the "right" way to write it
t. choked before too

>>22485203
Actually beautiful desu

>>22486923
Got the old head in the sand, hm? Must be American

>>22485203
Isnt this the anon writing vampiress smut?
Pretty based