/lit/ - Literature

Ever since I was a child, I always felt like I don't have time. Always in a hurry to do everything. This includes speaking my mind.
This has put me into situations that I could have avoided or done better if I had just slowed down and took my time.
This is one of the things that I really want to change about myself and have been trying to for many years but I have never made "slowing down" my default setting, my autopilot, my effortless. The minute I get comfortable with myself I say or do something that I wish I'd done a different way or not at all.
The way I am makes me feel so stupid but it's just who I am and maybe any attempt to change that is a waste of time.
Any books for this feel?

>>22425115
this bitch sounds like a fuckin nightmare to live with

>>22425121
to be clear i mean that your roommate sounds like a nightmare to live with, not you, lol

>>22425061
I am just so tired of being told all i have to do is change my attitude. If it were that simple, don't you think I would have done it by now?

>>22425126
Just push a button bro!
Just push a button and turn that frown upsidedown!
Think positive bro!
Its all your fault bro, all your failures, everything in your life, no matter how shitty a hand you've been dealt or how fucked up your life is, its all on you, its all your fault and nobody will ever help or do anything other than offer meaningless platitudes like these and will hold you in contempt for not succeeding even if there were literally nothing you could do because we don't want to acknowledge that the only thing seperating us is a bit of luck and thinly vieled delusion that we are all responsible for our own success!

Just stay at my dads beachhouse and smoke a bowl brah! Just get up at 5 AM with to go surf with your surf god athelticism and natural good lucks and buy whatever you want your dads rich brah! Just get a job at your dads truck dealership brah! Just make 80k out the gate after dropping out of college brah!

FUCK YOU ARRRRGGGG

>>22425134
fuuuuuck yooooou
i will stick a GUN in your fucking face and I will TAKE your success

>>22425134
all the rich pigs in the world can choke on a fucking bullet, I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING WORLD WRECKERS, YOU WHORES, YOU SCUM, DIE IN WRETCHED PILE OF YOUR OWN FILTH YOU MONSTERS
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

>>22425143
STINKING PIGS AT A TROUGH!
STUFF YOUR FAT PIG FACES WITH MORE FUCKING MONEY YOU GOD DAMN PARASITES, EAT UP YOU FILTHY DISEASE RIDDEN CATTLE, GROW FAT AND CANCEROUS AND CHOKE ON YOUR BILE

I WANT MY HATE TO INFECT YOU AND MAKE YOUR HEADS EXPLODE

PIGS GET THE ROPE
CHOKE ON YOUR MONEY AND DIE

>>22425151
I will FORCE FEED you cash until you vomit
I will stuff your face with ones and fives and tens and twenties and fifities until you literally shit blood and money, then i will cram your fucking head in the toilet and make you EAT IT

EAT YOUR OWN FAT FILTH YOU FUCKING PIGS

If I could make a deal with God, I would take all of your pain onto my shoulders and bare it gladly. I would do it without hesitation. Sadly, I don't think that God hears my prayers, and even if he did I'm not worthy of an audience.

Had a dream I found a website called losersfrommycollege.com where someone uploaded a full file on me. It had every embaressing thing I ever did in college as well as a list of my insecurities and all the girls I had crushes on. Why can't I have nice dreams

Should I google an exgf so I can make sure to avoid her?

>>22425061
Always have this irrational suspicion that others around me have super-hearing and can hear every single little thing I do.

if i could retroactively kill my rapist i would. i would kill him now. i think i would be far more well adjusted and perhaps considered a normie had i not dealt with that incestuous mess

I think in 5 years or so, we will look upon these very common minimalist tattoos of objects (could also be a feather, a coke bottle, a grammophone, etc. - you surely know it) as we look upon tribal tattoos today.
Like all tattoos, they are in reality irrevocably cringe even if not all can see it, but at some point soon, this particular style will also be widely seen as cringe, as widely as tribal tattoos are seen as cringe today.

@22425439
Or you can just kill yourself and be free

>>22425444
I think it's good that retarded whores get retarded tattoos because now we can tell them apart more easily

>>22425446
easy way out, pussy boy. if we decided to kill ourselvee over every little thing wed get nowhere. let me vent anonymously

>>22425436
How old are you and are you male or female?
Those were some of the first symptoms of schizophrenia for my cousin. She was in her late 20s when she really withdrew from society and when asked what happened she said that she doesn't feel safe, not even in her thoughts, because she started believing that everyone can hear her thoughts. And it only went downhill from there

>>22425113
At least you have a default mode when it comes to life. Everything about my public life feels like a performance I'm putting up, badly. And most of my private life feels like a performance, too. Even my interests are just a neurotic ragefest.
But I do understand the feeling of always being in a rush. I don't think it's bad.

You stupid incels should strive to be more like my husband, he is making me a grand slam breakfast later. I have been craving one for days. I woke up too early and I'm so excited about it I can't sleep. The good pancake mix, free range eggs, real syrup, and Applewood smoked bacon. What did I ever do to deserve him!!!

>>22425472
I'm also filled with autistic rage every time someone is better than me at anything, to the point of wanting to kill them. Either that or immediate and all-encompassing apathy.
I guess I just can't cope with not being the best/being unable to be the best.
I don't think the feeling of being essentially a chained beast helps.

>>22425482
This is fucking real me too

>>22425453
You certainly won't get anywhere

>>22425462
>childless woman goes crazy as she hits the wall
many such cases!

>>22425462
>How old are you and are you male or female?
Male 23
>Those were some of the first symptoms of schizophrenia for my cousin. She was in her late 20s when she really withdrew from society and when asked what happened she said that she doesn't feel safe, not even in her thoughts, because she started believing that everyone can hear her thoughts.
I'm not schizo but I kinda get what she means.
I don't believe others hear my thoughts, but just have this constant underlying irrational suspicion that others are judging my every small move. That every noise or move I make is being silently judged by those around me.
I've always had a paranoid streak to me.
Probably partially caused by the fact that I've always been socially isolated, more so now than ever, and as a result I genuinely don't know to what extent others around me are or aren't judging me. So I'm constantly on edge worried that in some way I'm offending or disgusting to those around me
To compensate I try to be extremely accepting and never display anger .
I also keep every conversation as routine and brief as possible without revealing anything personal about myself because the uncertainty scares me.
I know is a bit narcissistic to think others care that much, cause in real life people don't.
It's also a bit of a vicious cycle. I'm withdrawn and paranoid, which in turn makes people distrust me because they assume I'm hiding something suspicious. And that in turn causes me to become more withdrawn...

>>22425505
At the time she was still dating but not long after she kicked the guy out of her apartment because she believed that he was poisoning her food

>>22425484
Real malcontent hours

>>22425514
You'll get cancer this way
Just save money and take trips to colombia to coom
I'm 100% serious, all the problems you describe will be solved

Why does Shakespeare keep telling me to have sex? Are all of the sonnets like this? pic related is Sonnet 3

>>22425528
>pussy is 20 dollars
>cocaine is 10 dollars a gram @ +90% purity
>vicodin and percocet are over the counter and can be bought with delivery via app so you don't even need to reveal yourself as a filthy junkie to the pharmacy workers
Colombia is hedonist heaven, no doubt about it, just don't get decapitated.

>>22425514
>That every noise or move I make is being silently judged by those around me.
To add, i think being isolated too long it becomes hard to distinguish friend v.s enemy.
Most people have this natural sense whether learned over time or innate of who they do or don't jive with.
I don't and so have this constant sense of insecurity that every person is a potential threat to me. I don't distinguish people in mind. They are all just an abstract morass in my mind.
Those nearby, my roommates for example, are as much strangers to me as the weirdo homeless addicts outside. Inside v.s outside is a meaningless distinction.
The more detached, the easier it becomes to convince yourself the other person is thinking bad thoughts about you specifically.
I feel no natural connection to others, it always feels forced somehow idk.
I feel like an overgrown child or an oaf. I want to be a serious person but am inherently ridiculous.
And don't even have the charisma to make that absurdity into something attractive or interesting the way a comedian does.
>Just save money and take trips to colombia to coom
>I'm 100% serious, all the problems you describe will be solved
Not really that interested in sex desu . At most I jerk off once a week, sometimes once every other.

>>22425061
Only the Good is good, but not only Evil is bad.

>>22425566
>I feel like an overgrown child or an oaf. I want to be a serious person but am inherently ridiculous.
This. Whatever I do, I feel ridiculous. I'm a loser in the physical and a loser in the spiritual. I just want to exercise, read, and smoke weed. There's nothing beautiful or captivating about me. There's nothing else for people like us

>>22425566
> I want to be a serious person but am inherently ridiculous.
It's weird cause I've never lacked self-awareness. I can usually identify when something I do is off-putting to others. In some ways I'm overly self-conscious but it doesn't ever lead me to change my behavior.
I might be slightly austistic or something else idk.
It's odd how I can easily detect eccentric or autistic behavior in others.
I can sense it because it reminds me of myself, but strange how I can easily tell when another person is being socially abnormal, but not always with myself.
For example recently picked up a delivery at a pizza place and I could instantly tell the female cashier was autistic by her mannerisms.
She had that childish, wide-eyed, and frightened look common to them, and when I told her who I was picking up she darted away without saying anything and silently returns setting the pizza down. No words were exchanged.
It was very amusing to me, I laughed but she seemed totally oblivious, but then I felt sad as I realized this is exactly how I act sometimes and am just as clueless.

>>22425572
Why does this keep happening? Could an oldfag explain it to me pls?

>went to Venice
>as enamored with it as Proust, Mann, Szerb, Pound and Lawrence
>as soon as you get out of San Marco, the tourists clear up
>can walk completely empty streets in the middle of the day in San Polo and Cannaregio
>took the vapretto to the cemetary island of San Michele
>sought out Ezra Pound's grave
>quietly recited "On a Station of the Metro" by heart
>went back to the Grand Canal
>sat by the waterside
>somber mood, reflecting on death and beauty
>a water taxi with an obese negress and her boyfriend came by slowly
>blasting rap music @ 120 decibel
>boyfriend is filiming the negress as she is twerking
>she sees me sitting by the water with a look of disdain and incredulity on my face
>shrieks out "AYO WHITE BOY CANNA HANDLE DIS ASS!"
>commands the water taxi closer to the place where I am sitting
>twerks even harder in my direction as she is whooping and hollering
In what ways has your life been enriched by american culture this summer?

>>22425061
I think the only problems I have with capitalism are its monopolizing tendencies and its opposition to tariffs.

I want to have a petite short blonde haired cute gf to watch anime with and then have sex with
This fills me with sadness since i talked to this exact girl who likes anime and she even sent me nudes but i was too autistic and scared to meet up with her. Then she sent me some fucked up things and i blocked her, ended in an asylum then unblocked her and told her i loved her and that ruined the whole thing. Now shes in korea and probably married her korean bf
I guess it wasnt meant to be for us to watch anime together then cuddle. Although im starting to wonder will it ever be my turn

>>22425623
Lmao

The past 2 days I've been thinking a lot about this girl.
Good looking, good personality, thin, reads, not a whore, wants kids etc.
However one sticking point: she's brown (mestizo). Over the 2 days I've contemplated the pro and cons and I think I could look past it.
It's less of a big deal since I myself am mixed (castizo) and she's from the same country one of my parents are from. I just thought I would be bleaching my kids to look 100% euro (I look about 80%) but with her it would swing more the other way.

Thing is most Euro girls I know and have dated have multiple things wrong with them. Feminist, fat, tattoos, vapid, insane body count etc.
If those can be avoided just by wifing a mestizo, I think it's not bad.

Sometimes i wonder will i even have anyone to watch halleys comet when it comes in 30 years...

>>22425061
After working in the cigar industry I now cringe at the sight of american celebrities sporting a cigar because I know it's some cheap dominican or nicaraguan

>>22425830
Your kids will be 63% spanish, that's alright
White women are ruined anyway. It's over

>>22425115
she does indeed sound like a bit of a cunt

>>22425903
That's my thinking. I'm keeping it with one of the 2 ethnicities I'm a part of. Can't add to the confusion by adding a 3rd or god forbid 4th.
I've dated my fair share of white women and yeah, it's grim.

>>22425776
She stopped responding on sc so i messaged her "i miss you" on instagram from throwaway acc and she responded but im too scared to open the message in case its something like "who are you"

Is prayer enough?

Is anyone else an atrocious speller? I've read at a high level my entire life, and have been commended for my writing skills as well(I'm pretty mid though), however I can' spell for shit. If auto correct wasn't a thing I believe I'd be better, but only marginally; my biggest issue is that I pronounce things slightly differently than they're spelt, so when I go to spell them I sit there confused for like 10 seconds. Really only happens with words I use infrequently.

Whether it’s over.

>>22426023
well it would be perfectly reasonable to say "who are you" since she doesn't know it's you.
but something to keep in mind is that you don't want to appear pathetic to girls—ever. so here's a piece of life advice: if you are ever met with a decision; one option makes you appear pathetic to a woman, whereas the other does not make you appear pathetic; always choose the one that doesn't make you appear pathetic to the woman.
this applies universally.
don't worry anon, you will find a cute gf to watch anime with one day. just be vigilant

>>22426090
Thanks for your reply mate
I know that from beforehand but im pretty romantic guy and in my opinion showing love to girl isnt pathetic but i understand perfectly how thats in general considered pathetic. What would non pathetic move here be? Just to move on?
I fall in love easily bcos of how much attention depraved i am from girls
Also i dont have any current girl contacts do im not sure if it will ever happen, the anime thing

>>22426116
i'm not calling you pathetic or anything, don't get me wrong. you have to get into the mind of the woman in this situation. in her mind, she's already moved on (sounds like she's in korea now), so for you to reach out to her and show her that you're suffering over the loss of what she probably didn't think much of (sorry to be blunt); it could appear pathetic to her.
you say you don't have any girl that currently contacts you, but there are many, many girls, all just wandering around out their with their tits all bouncing around. you have to find them

>>22426141
fuck i used the wrong 'there' on /lit/
suppuku

boobs are soft....but life is so hard

>>22426141
Youre right man, but the thing is, a girl needs more patience with me, and im not able to find that. A girl wants me to be dominant, fast acting, sociable, assertive but im none of that things, i dont even want to become like that. I can be caring, affectionate, have long intelligent talks, kind but thats not what girls care about. Im also introverted which is horrible for finding a girl. Girls are too chaotic and impulsive for me, even cruel. I suffer psychologically a lot because of this. Also, i look like a chad and then when a girl finds out im not, she is very dissapointed.
Also, the part about moving on might be true for her, but we talked a lot and she thought about me cause once she sent me a new years message when we didnt talk for a long while, and said something like " where you been"

Starting a business.

>>22426179
Doing what?

>>22426039
I'm pretty solid in English but I can't spell in my second language for shit.
I think it really comes down to practice and caring. If you really care about not making mistakes in your writing over a long period of time your spelling will improve.

>you can't delete posts this often
well then i shan't post. good day. enjoy the signal to chud ratio being reduced further.

>>22426164
you are literally me.

>>22426181
Unsure

Tylenol is surprisingly pleasant, you can really feel it activating.

self-conscious nothing

>>22426261
I am you? Well hows life treating you these days? Are you reading something

there are "things" that form together to make up this "thing" called a "brain"

this "brain" is inside of a bigger grouping of "things" called a "body"

this "brain" and "body" work together to form this "thing" the "brain" calls an "I" which other "I"s refer to as a "you"

"you" contain "things" called "eyes" which allow "you" to "see" other "things"

"you" can "see" a specific arrangement of "things" called a "rectangle"

this "rectangle" emits "light" which is a "thing" that "you" can sometimes "see"

this "light rectangle" that "you" "see" can "look" like other "things" that don't form the "light rectangle"

these "things" "you" "see" within this "light rectangle" can change the position of "things" inside of "you"

"you" can "see" these "things" inside of "you" by "feeling" the movement of these "things"

when "you" "feel" these "things" moving inside of "you", "you" realize that there is no "you" because the "things" inside of what "you" call "you" change constantly

if what "you" call "you" is always changing, then there is no "you"

if there is no "you" then how can "you" have been "seeing" any "thing"?

if "you" haven't been "seeing" any "thing" then how do "you" know that there is any "thing"?

Maybe there's no way out. Maybe I'm stuck like this. Maybe I'm going to be this gross person that I hate until I die. Maybe I'll never learn to control myself or move on or forgive myself for what I did. Maybe I'm just gonna be found rotting between a stack of overdue bills and a pile of empty bottles one day and have a misspelled obituary in the newspaper the next day.

>>22426401
What happened anon?

>>22426401
No way out of what?
Stuck in what way?
What makes a person gross?
Control what?
Move on from what?
Forgive what and why?
Why all of these assumptions?

>>22426401
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_marks_of_existence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1QRZki3zb8

I can't think (read) myself out of being a pathetic weak loser.
What are you supposed to do when you aren't able to act (I'll give up in a week at best) or make a definitive choice about anything?
I wait for life to choose for me, so I can react and never act (which I never learned to do).
Any advice? I already work out, stay clean and all that.

What are your opinions on graduate degrees? I’m really kicking myself for not getting one right after my undergraduate degree, so you would I think should just get one now but I’m entering my thirties I just feel like there are better things I could be doing.

America is the great satan

>>22425061
KUBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>22425061
Fuck. I fell for the "learn japanese" meme. It's been a month and kanji's been making my life hell. I'm starting to have second thoughts. I don't think this is even worth it. I should've just learnt french instead.

I watched Oppenheimer and was struck by all the activity of the time period. All of the intellectual and artistic movements, all the of the scientific advancements, all of the conflicts and wars, the emergence of new ways of living and new civilizations. And nowadays there's just nothing. No great artists, just pop singers. No bold intellectual developments, just the same old ideologies being thrown around. No conflict or revolution, just a global industrial society where we all work and consume. Of course everyone would say that this is a good thing, we live in a time of relative peace. But it does make me think about living in a world that is essentially "solved" to a degree.

>>22426568
>a hollywood movie made life seem all dramatic and shit
woooaaaahhhh

>>22426568
You're letting slop alter your worldview. Stop.

>>22426568
>>22426568
There’s been tons of human activity. It’s just that all of it has been focused on money, sex, money and sex, or the critique of Western civilization, largely with the ulterior motive of getting money and sex. And I wouldn’t say that the world has been “solved” so much as “reduced”. Think about how small the world is now, and how run rampant it is with tech and money. Consider for a second how miserable a 19th century military officer, painter, musician, writer, craftsman, scholar, or any other sort of person that you might’ve aspired to be like would be inside of a modern corporation. I recently read the story of a descendant of some medieval hero knight that is a mid-level marketing manager at a multinational corporation. Isn’t that depressing?

>>22426622
if he's supposed to be a medieval hero knight then he should have gone to west point. sounds like his line degenerated and he got what he deserved.

>>22426622
>19th century military officer, painter, musician, writer, craftsman, scholar
all of those things exist today. if you're not one today, you wouldn't have been one then either.

>>22426643
Yeah. He could’ve joined these medieval hero knights when they shuffle paperwork for army logistics.

>>22426649
you think medieval knights did a lot of fighting? they're fat fucks who sit around while peasants (you) work in the fields to feed them

>>22426648
That they merely “exist” was sort of the point, friend. You’ve just restated the complaint, which was about quality and changing nature of things and not the labels.

>>22426568
And now you have race communism and jews
Lmao

>>22426655
It’s a nicely pseudo historical take, but besides the point since nobody said anything about fighting. Modern soldiers are technicians. This is practically undeniable. But the change extends to the whole of life and not only to the people who are expected to fight and die.

>>22426648
This. It’s like anons wishing to go back to the days of feudalism and peasantry. No, you wouldn’t have been a duke or prince, you would be hoeing turnips or shoveling shit, complaining that things could be better

>>22426667
ok so go be a fighter pilot like john mccain. the fact is a slug like you would have been just as much if not more of a loser 100 or 200 years ago than you are now.

Serious Question
How do I use books and my general knowledge to fuck and get tons of whorea to suck on my cock and balls?

>>22426675
Is this you just lashing out or did you really not get what I wrote?

>>22426690
what you wrote didn't mean anything.

>>22426675
> it’s not possible that anything could’ve been better in the past
> you are just a slug and can’t cut it in this glorious future!

>>22426693
No, I pretty clearly meant the natures of things have changed and that’s diminished them, but you glossed over that and went right to “oh yeah, go be a fighter pilot” as if that could remotely be a solution. If anything, it only highlights the problem because it perfectly illustrates the way this thing has really changed drastically. So either you really didn’t get it or you really did go right to insults and lashing out.

>>22426695
oh shit we got a born le wrong generation over here. take it the youtube comments of a led zeppelin video, dweeb.

>>22426703
how have the nature of things changed?

>>22426669
Serfs were happier and healthier compared to modern trannymericans, and worked less

>>22426683
You learn good geography and find the country with the cheapest bimbo escorts

>>22426711
source?

>>22426707
Post physique

>>22426720
i've competed in combat sports, you?

>tfw sick and horny
Do you think dignitas can arrange suicide by coomer degeneracy? I think that is my death plan, someone let them know if I'm unconscious at the time.

>>22426718
Browse /pol/. They have Infographs on the topic

>>22426729
Watch out we have a sumo professional here!
Post physique retarded DYEL pseud

>>22426737
Ah, a fellow scholar.

>>22426711
according to a paper i just found in 1850 the life expectancy for a serf was 27.3 years while the life expectancy for a free person in industrializing western europe was 41.6. meanwhile american life expectancy is 77.3 years. looks like you live in a fantasy world of cope. better luck next time.

>>22426718
Unironically google

>>22426739
Kek

>>22426738
i've sparred with plenty of muscle dudes who come in the gym thinking they're tough. before the first round is even over they're sucking wind claiming asthma attack. fuck outta here. you're a pussy.

>>22426742
see:
>>22426740
you are wrong

>>22426740
Not him but you need to look at something like life expectancy at 5 years. Most of humanity there's a good chance you reach 80 if you live past 5. Infant mortality fucks stats, but modern US life expectancy is currently receding not just from infant mortality but also the various health crises. About fifteen years back US life expectancy was peaking, now it's in a decline.

>>22426740
Except "average lifespan" counts infant mortality and Kaczynski has written on it for this reason. Lifespan of those who made it past 15 was something like 70 but without goyslop obesity, rootless consoom productism, jews, microplastics, fluoride, prescribed meds, niggers or globohomo.

>>22426742
Very specific

>>22426710
Well, I think for one everything has been sucked up more into money and especially technology. No matter what you do, you’re more of a technician than you would’ve been doing the same thing in the past. We’re definitely subject to more bureaucracies and institutions than we used to be. We’re subject to highly consumerist markets. I think if you point to something like cars, or guns, or houses, or architecture, or other physical things most people will easily accept that things have gotten worse for a whole bunch of reasons, but for some reason they can’t wrap their heads around the fact the same phenomenon occurred with the things we do. Soldiering is just the most obvious one to point out because it’s really obvious how old martial values don’t mean shit in front of a machine gun or in a cockpit. But the original guy I was replying to didn’t even have that sort of thing in mind. He seemed to have had more in things like science, art, scholarship, that sort of thing and that’s really been discussed to death on this board. There are no Oppenheimers anymore. There are no people even doing the same sort of thing. That’s why he used the word “solved”. The same sort of thing isn’t even occurring, because that “problem” has already been “solved”. You frame it in these terms and most people accept it. But you frame it in the sense the at the same activities aren’t able to happen in this time partly because we’re so mired in some sort of civilizational muck, the wires start crossing and they start accusing you of being a loser or a chud or something.

>>22426747
You are fat and ashamed of it. You will die fat and deformed, as you should. You will never be healthy.

>>22426751
You can still live like a peasant if you wish. Why don’t you?

>>22426758
>kaczynski
oh you really are a clown aren't you haha

>>22426740
Has nothing to do with the claim you replied to. A long life is not necessarily a good life.

>>22426711
Is the tranny in the room with us right now?

>>22426770
Kek

>>22426740
Looks like we win again

>>22425061
I disagree with most people on this board about nearly everything except on the topic of females and feminism.

>>22426792
Those anons’ posts stem from resentment and it’s obvious. Ignore them

>>22426768
No, you can’t.

>>22426799
In what way would you like to live?

man i chugged a monster energy earlier and i got so hyper i started arguing with some flyer over fat kid on 4chan. jesus, what's in that stuff? it says caffeine and taurine but there must be something else cuz other energy drinks with those don't over stimulate me like that.

>>22425623
lol’d

>>22426318
it's going pretty well. been reading the symposium, but not in a gay way or anything

>>22426655
Medieval knights didn’t own land you twat. They were the only caste of gentry that weren’t landed.

>>22426838
so where did they get their food?

I'm tired of running away from reality, yet reality is unbearable

>>22426811
maybe it's the l-carnatine, gotta try some pills of that, i'm fucking wired. just gotta channel the energy into programming not arguing with obese little gremlins on 4chan.

>>22426843
i survive on carefully curated copes but they're based on all the stuff i'm going to do tomorrow which could still happen right?

I've come to the realization that this place is profoundly feminine, and that this is no doubt the reason it attracts a lot of MtF trannies, or even creates them, despite the political animosity towards these groups displayed here.

The discourse here is based almost entirely on catty snark and acting like a caricature of a mean girl in high school. Everyone attentionwhores with the most outlandish opinions possible to attain popularity ((You)'s). "Embarrassing" is used as an actual insult/critique to posts that are disagreed with, which is interesting, as embarrasment is a function of social policing, something that ostensibly should not function in an anonymous and ephemeral forum where personas are excluded by design - yet it does, because this place is so hyper-feminine that it has internalized the codes of social policing so deeply that it does not even need them to have any material impact in the real world - they are virtually real and hence realer even than they would be in the high school cafeteria.

A common retort to this, would be that it is feminine to want a prominent public online persona, that the feminine way to use social media would be to curate a self-image on instagram immediately connectible to the real woman. This much is true. The implicit argument is then, that since anonymous ephemerality, like in this place, is the very opposite of that, it must also be the opposite of feminine, and hence, masculine. This is fallacious. Both complete anonymity and complete public attention-whoring are inherently feminine - the former feminine for the cattiness and snarkiness, gossipiness and cruel and immediate social policing, that can take place without repercussion or consequence on an anonymous forum, and the latter, for the more classic attention-whoring tied up to a real personality.

The masculine lies between these two extremes, not in cowardly and anonymous gossip and snark. It lies in being able to own up to your opinions and taking the consequences of them without being a shameless attention-whore about it.

As mentioned, it is no wonder that this place attracts MtF's. It is also no wonder it attracts incels, sexless as it is in its confusion between feminine harpiness and cowardliness and masculine aggression, the latter here employed without reason or justification.

In short, you're all a bunch of literal bitch women, and I suggest you leave this place immediately and as best you can, before your personality turns so profoundly into a snarky mean girl that you'll think it a good idea to chop off your cock and put on a dress.

>>22426858
yeah sometimes i'm like wow how can people watch these ridiculous ecelebs on youtube and twitch or scroll tiktok and instragram like zombies meanwhile i feverishly hit refresh for hours to continue arguing about some shit that is blatantly stupid.

>>22426827
Is it true that in symposium plato argues that only viable way of living was being good regardless of the outside circumstances and because that way of living doesnt pay off in this life, there has to be an afterlife in which it does?
Last book i read was philokalia

>>22426800
In my mind, it’s less about like and more about worthwhile and what’s worthwhile is what’s dignified. I think a lot of the ways we live now, and very often the ways we have to live now, are neither worthwhile nor dignified.

>>22426921
No, to Socrates being good just is good and proper, it is not instrumentalized for gain in an afterlife, that's the entire point.
His thoughts on an afterlife are motivated by his thesis of knowledge as remembrance, and the Symposion deals more intimately with beauty than the good.
Great dialogue though, one of my favorites (also in a no homo way, like the other anon).

>>22426926
So just platitudes and nothing concrete?

>>22426843
it's not as unbearable as you think

>>22426858
>he doesn't know /lit/ is a branch of feminine arts and is mostly real females
why did you think we hate women so much? also why did you write that like anyone would read it?

>>22426939
Fuck, i meant the Republic. Is there such theme in that book?

>>22427060
Bro shut the fuck up I'll fuck you up

Go back to college starting tomorrow. Gonna try to finish the bachelors degree. I think I have decent chances, I'm in much better shape than I would have expected. I got like 5 dinners ready in the fridge, I got my pens and my books, everything's planned out. Wish me luck lads.

what kind of a person actually calls himself an existentialist?

I am not giving up yet

>>22427180
someone who has read about existentialism and who thinks they know what it means. me, on the other hand, I have no idea what that is and have never read anything about it so I'm more likely to fit the bill

>>22427082
That was uncalled for

>>22427113
I wish you luck

>>22427021
>also why did you write that like anyone would read it?

>>22427060
It's touched upon in book X of the Republic, but you could also be thinking about Phaedo.

everything i do is just a distraction from the empty black hole within myself and the gnawing teeth that the future showed me years ago. i deeply fear my parents dying and no longer having my closest earthly connections. i desire more and more distractions to stop me from focusing on my deepest fears. whenever i am left alone i am simultaneously the most happy and sad i can be. my entire life is just a rerun of this on a daily basis. either i am distracted through suffering or pleasure, but the baseline is the worst of them all. i never used to understand suicide but now i do, and i fear there ever coming a day where i have nobody and i am too old to gain anybody new because that's when i really will kill myself.

>>22427427
hope things get better for you anon

>>22427427
when you parents die and you finally have to get a job you may find you get a new more positive outlook on life. of course, you could always get a job now while they're still here to be proud of you leaving the failcave.

>>22427445
i have a job and provide for myself, i don't mean in the sense of them dying and not being able to provide for me. i don't value my family for their ability to provide for me, but their ability to love me since i was a small child

>>22426858
I find 4chan to be very masculine. The quickness to bravado and despair, the sparring, the pride. The narrowsightedness. It is very male.

I volunteer at a hostel for the insane where a new patient has come in last week. Battles with depression for years, has nearly decided to commit the final act but stayed his hand because of his sleeping son.
A story I would never have imagined existing out of books, but it was there.

It shook me. He walks like a hobo, but has a dignified voice and manners. Wild beard. Slumped shoulders. A dog's look that fixates on you while you talk, and not interrupting, not even in the polite gaps.

I can't help him. I'm just a kid next to him, with my tricks of happiness I dole out and preen over. How can you help someone twice your age and thrice the tragic?

It's a rethoritcal question.

>>22426277
For me it's naproxen.

>>22426740
>according to a paper i just found in 1850
um as if anyone cares

>>22427021
desu no one hates women more than women

>>22427535
oh fuck it's the comma police! everyone act natural...
>according to a paper i just found, in 1850

Psychopaths-- Not Recommended.

>>22426858
>I've come to the realization that this place is profoundly feminine
Only recently, it didn't used to be like this.
The latest wave of newfags write like zoomer twitter fags. All lowercase and shitty snarky safe humor, I think this is the worst /lit/ has ever been.
The board has lost its distinctness.

>>22426277
>>22427528
For me, it's morphine.

>>22427807
moving my pinky to hit shift takes too much effort i just don't care enough

>>22426568
Read Fukuyama's End of History. In the last section on the last man he discusses this.
His answer is not satisfying imo but relevant to what you're talking about--that basically ideas or alternatives beyond liberal capitalist democracy have been exhausted.

>>22426023
I finally opened the message it was "? How do you know my name"
Then i wrote who i was and that i missed her and then how if she doesnt wanna talk im sorry for bothering her but then i remembered if she wanted to talk she wouldve responded to my previous messages on sc and wouldnt have deleted her other insta when i messaged her there, so then i thought whats the point and deleted the message.
I think this is how it looks like when you grow

>>22426023
can you make throw away instagram accounts? i thought you needed to add your phone number? ive been thinking about making an insta to share art and follow artists but i don't want to fuck up my one shot at instagram.

Nothing made me as depressed as college did. Goddamn.

>>22426966
It doesn’t get more concrete than that. You are just dumb.

Gotta figure out something to do and somewhere to go for the next 6 months.

وضع القضيب في القضيب الآخر

>>22427904
if ur a native arabic speaker does that font look as tiny to you as it does to me? the shit is like a third of the height of latin characters

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my time and interests. I want to be able to to read extremely often, listen to music, learn to play an instrument, watch television/films, write etc. I really want to immerse myself in art and artistic movements, study history, culture, and the human way of life, but still make time for social pursuits and work obligations. I don't have any friends and have lots of trouble building relationships with others, but I don't want to forgo developing relationships with others out of fear, or just because of my perceived obligations to my hobbies. None of it is terribly important anyways, and honestly I feel disgusted by this perceived obligation to consume media. It's not like I have created anything at all either, let alone created something with some sort of meaning and expertise, but I also don't want to deny my interest and my want to understand the arts and the world around me, and I don't want to deny myself the opportunity to eventual create something that I truly find meaning in.

You know what’s depressing? Reading biographies of impressive people and realizing they were impressive right off the bat. They always went to the right schools, had the right jobs, checked the right boxes. They didn’t putz around as a NEET until they were 28.

I feel like there are two types of people who use social media: those who use it for entertainment, and others who use it for expression. The former follow the latter. Realized im the former, and deleted my account. Ill miss some people on there, but until i have something to offer, i won't be back.

>>22425061
It feels like a good amount of this site is teenagers and young adults who just came to realize that life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It never was and can never be. You are learning something that’s been known since the dawn of man and best represented in Prometheus. Grow up, man up, and quit bitching

>>22428099
>Listen here, young man, pull up those bootstraps!
I'm going to bet $50 that you never went through the same economic degeneration that we are.

>>22427993
Not depressing at all.
Many of these impressive people lose it all or lead depressing lives in other aspects.

>>22428103
If you are struggling economically, why don’t you get a better job? Training? Schooling? Budget and live within your means? This era is ripe with money for the taking but few want to get off their ass or put in the work. Entitlement, I tell ya. Everything is earned, not given

>>22425126
It's not easy but doable. You have to practice something regularly in order to see change, and your perspective on life is one of those things. You also have to believe in what you are doing and have a genuine desire to change, otherwise it's just a waste of time.

In this world, it's bust or get busted in.

I just fucked another girl within the first few hours of meeting. I just dropped her off and she barely even said goodbye. I feel odd, and a bit empty. She was a good fuck but meh. I feel like girls don’t even really like me they just like my big dick. She even asked me if she could buy the vodka bottle I had around that was a little under half full. Partly I think she just used me, she does seem a bit like an alcoholic. Anyway that’s my blog today

>>22428208
You’re British aren’t you?

>>22428218
No, American . What makes you say british

>>22428279
When I was England earlier this year, the girls were easy and big drinkers. I hooked up with 4 in a week with one of them giving me the clap. It soured my impression of London and left a bad taste in my mouth. I can just pic an Adele-like slag busting it open for a half bottle of Vlad

>>22428306
>Adele-like slag
Anon you pretty much nailed it, she was blonde and a little thicker though not straight fat. Goddamnit maybe i am in England, I have heard that about British girls being easy

Coding stuff is perhaps the only thing in the world that doesn't bore me. I'm always doing shit like automation or making useful tools from scratch and I find it infinitely more satisfying than any other job. Sometimes it's boring as fuck but knowing that I only need a week to help someone get rid of a very annoying and time-intensive part of his job and save months of his life is so satisfying. I didn't become a doctor but people look at me all the same. I really feel like I'm doing magic and since everyone needs a specific creative solution I'm always learning stuff. I wouldn't do any other job.

Good night everyone.

I spent like a week reading and assimilating this guy's substack which synthesizes Nietzsche, process philosophy, cognitive science, and evolutionary psychology. It really helped me connect a lot of dots. Very lucid and well-thought out academic work (he's a PhD student). I went back to his substack today to finish up some reading after leaving it alone for a few days and I find he's having a schizo meltdown, posting a bunch of unintelligible, deranged shit interspersed with a bunch of pop music.
Very strange to witness.

The masculine urge to fake my own death and leave cryptic clues hinting at a vast conspiracy at the scene of the crime.

>>22428357
Run up on the stage of a presidential debate and yell something vague about a conspiracy.
When they let you go kill yourself in some insane way like jumping off a bridge with weights strapped to your feet.
You'll be a hero for the schizophrenic.

>>22428386
It's no fun if I'm not around to watch old people on Facebook lose their minds over it. Imagine how that Q dude feels.

Any fags on? What's it like being gay?

>>22425061
The following is on my mind:
1) I am very dissatisfied with the state of my life. I am unhappy with my living situation. I constantly feel as though the world has tried to stop me living, only it doesn't seem satisfied when I am content to die. It seems to want me alive, doing nothing, in perpetuity. It's like being told I'm going the wrong way, no matter which way I turn myself to walk. It's deeply frustrating. It has been made worse by my family lying to me repeatedly, COVID, long-term illnesses etc. but above all I think people being malicious towards me has been my greatest upheaval. It's like people see my gain an ounce of satisfaction and leap to stamp on it with everything they can muster.

2) I keep encouraging myself to remember I am a garbage human being, deserving of nothing, and thus my best outcome is to keep a healthy distance with others. Nothing good can come of having people close to me; they use me to their own ends, and then can't be bothered the rest of the time. I know I am not capable of the whole 'innawoods' Uncle Teddy thing, but maintaining healthily distant relationships is probably my best choice. Unfortunately, I go through phases of pining for affection, lamenting lost endeavours, and overall wanting anything but this miserable retch life that just, won't seem to stop.

3) I have still not kept my pact with God. For this I am embarrassed. 2 months ago I made the promise that if a way forward was revealed, I would take it indebted to God. A way forward was revealed. I was trying to kill myself with a lit barbecue in the back of my car. When I started, I acknowledged there would be three possible outcomes: I die, I live and a way forward is revealed, or I live and no way is revealed and thus my purpose is to wreak vengeance on those who have wronged me thus far. I passed out on the backseat, had a vision where the sky had turned to day, and a woman in red stood above me, smiling down. I woke up about 10 feet away from the car. No idea how I got there. I still owe God.

>>22428107
So do the people who don’t.

>>22428437
Wait what's "the way forward?" Seems like pretty standard near death nonsense to me

You ever feel like you just have to cope with the reality of who you are? You know? It’s like how if certain things were on the horizon, then you’d be on your way there already or at least have a certain sort of background. Right? Maybe this is something you can’t think until you reach a certain age.

>>22428349
Link?

>>22428099
Not sure which young people I find more annoying. The whiners on here or the young people irl, often university students, who are relentlessly optimistic and haven't realized yet that:
>life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies
Both are equally annoying in their own way.

>>22428455
I took a career teaching, but it was nothing but turbulent and nonsensically difficult at the behest of the dimwits with a bigger number in their salary. I survived the suicide attempt, which meant either a way forward had to be presented, or I would have hunted down the people responsible for making my life difficult. For the record, these are people that have no business doing what they're doing; I can't imagine a situation where they've made anyone's lives better. Nasty, spiteful people.

The next day I got a phone call offering me a job with better pay etc. - still teaching. So that with the strange vision I had before I woke up... I'll call it a sign for now.

>>22428124
Eat shit from my ass fag

>>22427993
Depends if you're reading biographies of major leaders/politicians or entrepreneurs that's not surprising, but many great writers actually led pretty depressing insignificant lives.
Dosto was imprisoned for belonging to a radical socialist group, spent time in Siberia, had epilepsy, and after being released was a degenerate gambler constantly in debt.
Jane Austen never married and came from a middling family of wool merchants.
Many other examples like this.

I'm scared to have a child, excited too. It's more I worry ill mess up and go to prison for real this time and its not because im bad, but a fool governed by a stupid pride and stupid fear.
fucked the wife tonight, well, mutual mastebation but still nice.
I just want to show her I love her, the fire still burns strong, even with this child looming on us. I'm excited, hopeful, yet so very worried. I hope I can be a good farther, even with all my shortcomings and sexual perverteness. i hope I never get caught.

I feel I've wasted life but also cling to the special thing i have, my wife. I'm a Romantic at heart. A true one, as in i will kill her if she ever cheated or tries to leave me. I love her as much as life. without, the void. there is no one else. Im isolated on this island, yet shakily content.

I love to be the gentleman theif, the rouge, the Arsene Lupin, but i rejected that path for love. i shun my bisexual tendancies for traditionalism, on face value. I hold on the a vain hope for the future, that It's all worth something trying to preserve and grow something even though im more a breaker than a fixer.

I hate the world but just want this tiny spec of it to work. Just for long enough to grow a functional healthy child. Then ill kill someone. I promise ill make it count. promise ill leave a mark on this world, have that cake and eat it too. Domestic Bliss, Nine O'Clock News. the whole Shebang.

Just let me get this right, im already glad i impregnated and its finally happening. let me be a good father, oh please whatever higher power may exist, let me not fuck this up too.

Need to keep a lid on it. Need to be strong and a role model. Need to be a Father like mine but even better, not mess up near the end.

Keep it Together.

>>22428475
Believe whatever you want, but I call that a coincidence. School admin is always a bitch, hope the new place is better for yoy

>>22428495
>Believe whatever you want, but I call that a coincidence
Could well be. I don't know what to tell you - I've had several incidences where it's felt like I've been steered away from death. I'm not under any notions of being someone super important, but it feels like I'm just not allowed to die yet.

The best I can hope for is a short life.

>>22425061
Extremely based Tanahashi poster. Go Ace! That's all I have to say.

>>22428488
Dostoyevsky's life as described is incredibly interesting, and you elide every detail from Austen's life for the sake of making your point. Neither was "just a neet" or whatever

>>22428463
brettandersen.substack.com

>>22428500
>The best I can hope for is a short life
From the small amount I know about you I can't see why that is. Seems melodramatic, and tied up in your belief that you're a "garbage person"

>>22428531
>Dostoyevsky's life as described is incredibly interesting
His life is interesting, but still depressing and by no means does he come across as someone important or powerful.
If he were alive today most people would consider him a loser.

>>22428531
>you elide every detail from Austen's life for the sake of making your point. Neither was "just a neet" or whatever
How is Austen's life not depressing?
I'm not a Austen biographer or anything so of course I elided details, but yeah she does kinda seem like a bitter neet.
Didn't marry, extremely sarcastic/bitter towards others, and born to a very middling family that had money problems.

>>22428532
Wow

>>22428538
>From the small amount I know about you I can't see why that is. Seems melodramatic
I guess I was unlucky enough to see things young enough that have put me off of wanting anyone in my life. Most of what I try to do gets ruined by the spite of others. It's a pretty grim existence.

>and tied up in your belief that you're a "garbage person"
I can't tell you how many times I've deluded myself into distrusting my experiences. That I've said 'oh it was just a coincidence', 'oh I can do better next time', and gotten myself into the exact same situation again where somebody I've trusted has abused that trust and made things far, far worse for me.

I remember to tell myself that I'm worthless so I don't fall into that trap. If I believe I'm garbage, then who would want me around anyway? It might seem bad, but it's honestly better than the humiliation and pain of trusting someone and getting played yet again.

i went for a run and got the apple watch achievement for 5k. i used to run 5k all the time before the pandemic, never got 5k achievements. must be new. still that was a new best for the summer. had to start at literally one mile, sorry idk how many k that is, and i thought my heart was going to explode. eventually started doing two, and today i'm like fuck it's still early, might as well get it one more lap. maybe my heart rate was better because it's not as hot and humid. still felt good to do it. oh, wait, my watch says i got that achievement 74 times. weird i don't remember ever getting it. ohh, 5k is 3.1 miles and at my old track i would run exactly 12 laps which is 3 miles, now i'm at a new park where the track is one mile but i ran there so i guess that put me over. lmao imagine how many times i missed 5k by like 0.1 of a mile. heh.

>>22425061
>buy new book from Amazon
>it’s been written in

Wtf

>>22428585
did you really order it from amazon or did you get it from some third party guy who sells through amazon? i remember a textbook on amazon, and some chick emails me like "why did you split up my order! it's going to be late for class!" i'm like uh, i literally only sold that one book. i have no idea about the rest of your order ok. i think she thought she was ordering directly from amazon.

>>22428552
Yeah, I hope snaps out of it before he destroys his life. He seems like a good guy who just got too wrapped up in his intellectual obsessions.

>>22428592
From Amazon using prime

>>22428597
he's probably setting up an excuse to drop out cuz he couldn't handle the pressure. nobody wants to admit a phd is just to rigorous for them, so they feign a mental breakdown etc. and if someone from /lit/ thought it was good then it's probably ridiculous.

>>22428597
What meme-opsych does to a motherfucker

>>22428601
bummer. return it i guess? the few times amazon sent me the wrong shit they either let me keep it or return it for free no questions asked.

>>22428545
>a very middling family that had money problems
They lived in houses with names and her brother just gave her a "cottage" that's as big as a suburban American house

>>22428605
It’s not bad enough that I’d send it back but there are some brackets and check marks in pen that are distracting. I like my books pristine. I don’t know who’s been reading used books before and I don’t want to handle some slobs book while I pick my nose and ass. It was one of those only 1 left in stock too. Oh well.

>>22428618
Why is this weird sort of hypochondria so common on here? Like you guys can't touch a used book without imagining someone rubbing their dick all over it

>>22428618
that would piss me off too. if i pay full price for it to be a new, it should be brand new, fresh off the warehouse shelf.

>>22428626
probably they saw that seinfeld episode where he talks about how books that were read in the bathroom are tainted. ever since i saw that, i view bathroom books with suspicion and keep them quarantined from the rest of my books. it's irrational, but what can you do. oh, also i think i read some post on slashdot back in the day about a copy of perl for system administration that a dude threw out because after it had been on his toilet for five years he thought it was toxic. again, totally irrational.

>>22428626
A book is like a woman. The less mileage the better, unless you want your woman to have “character”
>>22428629
Exactly. If I wanted it used I could have got it for a fraction of the price

My grandma put me in a headlock because I kept forgetting to wash the dishes after breakfast and dinner.

>>22428652
Recently or when you were a child?

>>22428641
A book is nothing like a woman. Unless it's falling apart I don't see what difference the condition makes

>>22428653
A few hours ago.

AN explication of being as becoming or becoming as being is gibberish: an absolute that cannot be spoken of is an absolute that is not: pure change is unintelligible: neither the image in the mirror nor that which is reflected in the mirror are the mirror itself: put properly intelligibility is nonsense and thought is impossible: but here we arrive at the problem - the cup that is filled with water is at once a cup filled with ITSELF, a cup of cups, and inside the cup there is yet another cup: is the cup water or is the water a cup?

>>22428617
Right, they were part of the lower landed gentry. Doesn't mean their lives were sunshine and rainbows. The family inheritance was dwindling as it was divided between like 5 siblings.
Having property, even some Victorian mansion, doesn't mean their lives were amazing.
Not sure what it is with /lit/ losers/spergs playing oppression Olympics.
According to Wikipedia they were dependant on the patronage of wealthier noble relatives, and her father
>The Reverend Austen had an annual income of £200 (equivalent to £27,000 in 2021) from his two livings.[33] This was a very modest income at the time; by comparison, a skilled worker like a blacksmith or a carpenter could make about £100 annually while the typical annual income of a gentry family was between £1,000 and £5,000.[33]
If the Bennet family is any reflection on her own, it doesn't sound to me like a particularly happy existence.
Anyways it was just one example, im sure there are other examples of writers who lived pretty sad lives.

>>22428439
Okay. Does that make you depwessed?
a bloo bloo other people achieve more, waaaah

>>22428659
Some people like more pristine things. If I’m going to have something in my hand for hours I want it handled minimally beforehand. I’m not going to sit outside the Wawa palming and groping the entrance handle

What does working hard in regard to literature look like? How do new writers work hard? Isn’t the point to have fun?

I’m thinking about making a thread asking for body count and favorite book you’ve read, do you guys think this is a good idea

Conversation 5

>>22425190
What did you do?

>>22428652
Bruh just knock her old ass out, how is she getting you in a headlock? Are you tiny?

I wish I was 1ft tall so I could be bullied by animals.

Is it even possible to date in this day and age if you don't drink alcohol?

Weakness is the only thing people will truly never be able to forgive you for. Weakness is the gravest sin of all.

Life is shit so far. 24, dead end job, deciding to go back to college was an utter disaster thus far, my only gf I've ever had died and I mourned her until I found out she had also been cucking me. My family is unhealthy and aging rapidly, parents had me very late. I'm now diagnosed with ADHD but the only fucking solution is to be methed out all the time. All I feel is that decay is setting in. I now fear getting out of bed because the only things I have to wait for are death and things rapidly worsening on the way there. I do not resent my family for desiring another child but I would really have appreciated it quite a lot had it not been me.

>>22428822
Nothing too terrible. I just sacrificed myself for people who are ungrateful to me.

>>22426683
forget the books and max looks

>>22425061
Cheese and coffee are absolutely wrecking my bowels rn

Were the circumstances any different, it would've all been great. But they weren't. Though, don't try to forgive me, for I haven't sinned. Yet.

Glad I was a junkie otherwise this medical system would be killing me

>>22425061
If I eat a frozen pizza every night what is the likelihood of me dying early?

>>22429364
Early compared to who?

>>22429420
Like dying young at 40 or something...

morning

>>22429564
sup. whats todays agenda?

>>22429364
You get a free pass until your mid-to-late twenties, at which point your body will turn to such unutterably geriatric shit that you'll understand why every religion on earth, of every culture on earth, centers on the question of suffering.

>>22429569
This is why the physical fitness obsession started I think. People terrified of dying and how horrible being old is just trying to desperately outrun it.

How do you not kys when you realize stuff like how much time you wasted?

>>22429702
Maybe it was meant for me that way.

>>22428710
>If I’m going to have something in my hand for hours I want it handled minimally beforehand
Ok, I think that's weird and means you're a hypochondriac. It's a book, not a door handle you fucking sperg. Like you might as well worry that the guy who stocked the new book on the shelf was scratching his ass while he did it

>>22425061
I am the last man.

I wanted to write on this thread >>22427429

Le Morte d'Arthur
"Livro da ensinança de bem cavalgar toda sela" (Book on the instruction of riding well on every saddle), by King Duarte I of Portugal

>>22425444
>>22425448
Women always look worse when they have tattoos. Men can sometimes pull it off, even ridiculous ones.

>>22425061
I'm starting to run out of jobs that I can apply for, none of them are getting back to me, after I run out of this batch of jobs the only other ones that will be left are over an hour away by public transport (I don't drive) and I'll have to get up crazy early just to be able to get there in time and I'll get home crazy late just for a retail job. I don't know what to do bros, I've only got a little over $200 in savings left and then I'll be out.

>>22429873
Not to mention that those jobs that are heaps far away will also probably turn me down.

I had a friend from Hong Kong tell me the other day that he can't tell white people apart, I told him that we think the same thing about Asian people and he laughed, he's a good guy.

How would someone who climbs the institutional ranks and relies on the institutions for income avoid becoming another one of these personality-less spooks? Simply being aware of it doesn’t seem to be enough. You have to get independently wealthy, right?

One of my coworkers publishing a book on racism and white supremacy and getting promoted for it might be the last straw

Do you need to read philosophy in your 20s to have it really affect you? It seems like everyone forms a solid worldview before they enter their 30s. If so, it’s depressing to have a sense that by 30 you sort of just are who you always will be.

>>22429948
>it’s depressing to have a sense that by 30 you sort of just are who you always will be.
You'll be this way if you're close-minded, just be open to change and you'll never be this way.

>>22429920
>racism
>white supremacy
Honestly he was probably not any more racist than the average brownoid and youre mad he doesnt do all the self deprecating rituals of youre used to whites doing for you guys

>>22429878
I heard people say that but it sounds retarded.
Asian:
Hair: Black straight
Eyes: Black

Euro:
Hair: Curly or straight. Blond, Red, Brown, Black and everything in between
Eyes: Blue, Green, Brown and Black

Seems like Euros simply have more features to make them look distinct.

>>22429963
I’m not mad at him. He’s an idiot and a yes man. He’s only doing what he intuitively senses will rise his career capital. I’m mad at the company for pretending like he’s a leader because of it. I don’t want to work at a place like that. I’m white. He’s black btw you idiot.

If I travel to america will I be able to find a blonde, green eyed, freckled cutie to marry that's just as racist as me?

>>22430021
Yes, go to the south.

>>22425061
I am unfortunately immune to suicide.

>>22429948
Honestly man, I'm fine with who I am. I don't need a book to rearrange my worldview at this point in my life

>>22430021
Are you white? If so, it’s possible but unlikely. If you’re not white, it’s possible and likely strictly because fate loves irony.

How do you embrace life’s extremes without money? You want to climb a mountain, drive a race car, do a big game hunt, sail a boat into a storm, you need money, lots of it. What can you really do if you don’t have loads and loads of money?

>>22430340
I'm a slav who burns going outside even under shade, does that count?

>>22430460
Idk. I guess it’s possible. I’ve known white nationalist girls in Pennsylvania.

Is consciousness is an illusion?
Is being conscious and not being conscious the same exact thing?

The left really thinks a Republican broke democracy and the rule of law by discrediting an election that they illegally rigged.

>>22430479
Bless, the dream isn't dead \0/

Thinking about doing a Master’s in Journalism to switch careers.

Any philosophy grad students or postdocs here?

First day back in university in about 5 years. I'm hungover and buzzed and wearing dirty clothes. I'm mad that I sabotaged myself like this.

>>22430679
Sabotaged yourself how? It's the first day of classes, it's just gonna be introductory stuff

>>22430679
At least you're trying, bro.

>>22430672
I was in a philosophy MA for about 4 months

>>22426568
films and music weren't even good until the 70s

>>22429086
Interesting premise. Can't wait for the book to be finished!

>>22426568
>All of the intellectual and artistic movements, all the of the scientific advancements, all of the conflicts and wars, the emergence of new ways of living and new civilizations. And nowadays there's just nothing.
>internet completely changed the entire globe in monumental ways in the past 20 years, putting on the turbo for the past 10
You're just blind anon.

Would you quit a dead end job without something solid lined up? It’s been 4.5 years. I can’t stay here any longer.

>>22429086
That’s some hardship. What do you want out of life?

>>22428124
>I tell ya. Everything is earned, not given
>buy house in 80's or 90's
>gain 5000% ROI by doing nothing and paying into equity via mortgage instead of rent
>spend 5000% ROI on buying other properties
>hike rent to 80-90% of average income in properties bought with unearned equity
>tell rentoids that nothing is given
Pic related

>>22430672
PhD fellow here, already did a masters (for free, live in Europe).

>>22428978
Yeah but it’s a lot harder if you’re under 30 and if you’re over 30 it’s harder for other reasons.

>>22430732
I want to make a good impression on my professslrs and peers. Not be some burnout bum driniing on weekdays

>>22429086
Why did returning to college fail?

>>22430976
If you’re going to leave a bad impression, it’s actually better to leave it at the start so you can overcome it, rather than let it spiral from start to finish, contrary to popular belief. College is honestly a joke now anyway, dude. Get your good grades, get your 4 year degree in 4 years, but unless you’re hustling for graduate school or a law school or some high status social climber job in investment banking or the like, don’t care so much.

Getting filtered by war and peace about 80 pages in. Help.

Remote work makes me feel like such a piece of shit. I just hang out at my dad’s or my brother’s and play video games or read.

>>22430976
It's been a long time since I was in college, but people literally show up to class in pajamas sometimes. People are drunk and high on campus all the time. No one cares. Honestly the best way to make a good impression is to do the assignments and be engaged and attentive during class

>>22430988
>college is honestly a joke now anyway, dude.
This is true. Grade inflation is such a bitch that so long as you show up to class and put in at least some effort into your assignments you'll get a 3.0 GPA.

>>22431029
Yeah I'm kind of jaded today so I'm gonna go to the campus bar and drink

>>22431032
It’s the opposite. The majority of students cannot graduate within 6 years because they cannot get good grades to save their lives. The grades are not inflated anymore. They’ll just totally arbitrary.

The job is a dead end. I’m going to quit tomorrow. It’s kind of retarded that I didn’t get a master’s degree while I was here but here I am.

>>22430988
>>22431029
We did some teambuilding cabin trip during my first week of university years ago. They got a bus and we went to a cabin for the weekend. We had some drinks in the evenings and all was good.
Upon returning sunday morning (10 am), one guy was doing shots in the back of the bus, alone, trying to get others to do it with him, and speaking extremely loudly to the people around him, playing music from his speakers. He then vomited all over himself - again, alone, 10 am, after a weekend of plenty of partying and drinking.

Stench was so bad a few of the badly hungover people started retching a bit themselves, though none of them puked.

He was known as the alcoholic loser for his entire bachelor's degree. Plus his teeth were completely brown because he smoked home-rolled cigarettes without a filter and never brushed them.

>>22430976
Hangover means squat shit. Story above is when you're going into dangerous territory.

My uterus is feels like it's going to drop out

>>22431102
That’s exceptionally bad. That’s not the same as an undergraduate showing up looking a little disheveled.

>>22431115
Describe this feeling, I've no idea what it means. Is it like you have to take a shit real bad but don't want to, or what?

>>22431069
The average time is longer because a lot of students start in community college and work on the side. Being a full time student for four years just isnt realistic anymore.

>>22431119
Hahaha. Nope. It's not like a bowel movement pressure. Maybe it's closer to having inflammation in the lower intestines. It's sort of like bladder pressure, there's aching and discomfort that radiates down to the knees and up through the lower back. The pain can be sharp, but mostly it just aches.

>>22431115
>>22431170
Are you getting any other symptoms? I doubt you're old enough to get hot flushes from your eggs running out. I know some people have their uterus cling to other flesh and it's extremely painful.

>>22430754
>4 months
what happened?

>>22430939
is your goal professorship?

>>22431145
That’s incorrect. I just did the research for an article about this. It is just common among full-time students that enroll at that school from the start now.

>>22431187
Most PhDs are just too lazy to get a real job. Nearly none of them will be professors. Best bet is to become a junior or senior lecturer, which pays well, but they don't really get as much security.

>>22431181
I was extremely depressed and just didn’t want to do it anymore. In retrospect, I wish I had finished but not that much. I’ve done pretty much nothing but scroll and read and write a bit of poetry since 2021.

>>22431145
>Being a full time student for four years just isnt realistic anymore.
That's what I did. I even got to a PhD for my fifth year, though I began to butt heads with the postgrad coordinator and my supervisor because they're feminists or Marxists and I was studying a fascist.

>>22431191
>Nearly none of them will be professors.
what would you say it takes to reach professorship?

>>22431191
Lecturers don’t get paid shit in the United States. Nobody gets paid well academia besides the professors and the administrators that are considered above them (as opposed to the administrators considered below).

>>22431203
>Lecturers don’t get paid shit in the United States.
how bad is it?

>>22431197
>That's what I did.
did you have to work to support yourself?

>>22431201
>what would you say it takes to reach professorship?
I don't know. Half of it is being a mini celebrity in your field now. Tenure in America doesn't make sense to me, though. I'm sure a lot of them don't give a fuck as soon as they get tenure and don't bother trying to break new ground.
>>22431203
Lol. Move to a first world country if your alma mater wasn't shit. You're guaranteed around $90,000 a year unless you sign some Jewish contract for a casualised fellowship.

>>22431213
>did you have to work to support yourself?
No. I'm not poor. I had a trust fund and spent it so I could claim student benefits in my final year and got back about a third of what I spent (around $11,000 for a year).

>>22431179
Nah, this is just regular period shit

>>22431244
I heard getting blood in that area can help. Probably would help if you began exercising

>>22431208
Realistically? $50k-$70k, less if you’re in a cheaper market even if it’s an R1 or otherwise top school. That’s not that terrible, but given they have PhDs and usually expected a $100k+ career it’s pretty terrible. At least they’re not staff. Staff can make $30k or less. I started my staff job at $40k and had only risen to $50k after 5 years.

>>22431221
>You're guaranteed around $90,000 a year
w.t.f. in Amerika you get nowhere near that. we don't value learning.

>In consequence of very extended natural discoveries, trade and commerce have increased; while abstract investigations, have necessarily declined: so that modern enquiries, never rise above sense; and every thing is despised, which does not in some respect or other, contribute to the accumulation of wealth; the gratification of childish admiration; or the refinements of corporeal delight.
That's Amerika at it's extreme

>>22431270
>$50k-$70k
wtf what part of the country do you live in? In Texas you're lucky if you get 30k. Academia is a real struggle for poorfags.

>>22431271
That’s only because the education union made deals with Fair Work and universities. They still work unpaid hours lol. Also that’s AUD so they make only above median wage. Still enough for a home loan and comfy living.

>>22431284
Philadelphia so it’s a bit higher here because of cost of living. I think R1s and top schools probably generally pay in the range I specified though, at least on the coasts.

About two years ago I broke off contact with various people online without saying anything. I couldn't handle it anymore and just left. No goodbye, they probably think me dead. I regret the pain I inflicted on them.

>>22431331
>I regret the pain I inflicted on them.
If any were female, they probably forgot you existed as soon as they took their next cock. If they were male, they don't care. They were just talking to you to pass the time.
>online
Who cares? I don't remember half the people I used to talk to every day (even IRL) from two years ago.

>>22431347
>If they were male, they don't care. They were just talking to you to pass the time.
I hope so. The thought of not mattering to them is my only consolation.

>>22431190
Thats weird. What are the causes? I know a big part of my struggle was that i couldnt socially integrate and felt very alienated

Why don’t more homeless people read? Genuine question.

I'm glad that the period of indie music where every album cover was a picture of people wearing goofy animal masks and every song had a dude yelling HEY at some point is over.

>>22431474
1) retarded 2) many are not white 3) insane 4) no address to apply for a library card

>>22431592
I kinda miss stomp clap hey! music

>>22431428
Well, what you said is a factor. If students are working, they’re not liable to be great students. But as far as I can tell, GPAs have gone bimodal, just like job outcomes. Nobody really knows why, but I suspect it’s a dogmatic closing of universities. 30 years ago, they wanted to get you through. Now, professors basically hate their students and very often want to root them out because they feel they don’t belong, and I think the students are less motivated than ever. There were no pretenses for the late millenials or after that things would work out for them. They didn’t want the degrees. They felt like they had to get them.

Haven’t read shit in months. My mindset is just fucked.

>>22431832
You need the /lit/ mindset for the /lit/ grindset. Throw your phone in the garbage and start reading 25hrs a day minimum.

>>22431843
Jim you're doing it the hard way, TTS is the way to absorb books. El Rapido.

>>22431592
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAx-HfoxKs
It still exists just now they went back to suspenders and bicycles

I am fucking miserable. So miserable, in fact, that I almost don’t care at all. It feels almost like giving up.

Some of my female professors arent that muvh older than me and they're super fuckable

>>22431721
So does your research basically affirm that higher education is alienating? Or is it a broader trend that american society is alienating to young people?

>>22431925
Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies.
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down!

Physicists are data-slaves who tend to not know what the word "logic" means. To them it just means "something that "makes sense" to me"
They don't even fully understand all the problems(or not really problems but more like implications) of empiricism. In many ways, they are dogmatic and all their arguments to superority are purely utilitarian(which is arbitrary outside of food and shelter)
Many are good people, however, and not as dogmatic as some of their less bearable coleagues.

>>22425061
----- Solaria ----
0802
Haydnesque

The idea of sound as place
In which a most human eye hovers

Completely relaxed, amused, hypnotized
By the cutely bumbling flights of bumblebees or

Or the soaring manner of prey birds riding too high
To notice much the faint clutter of passerines weaving

Faint flight tracks between trees in arcs tighter than sight
Except by one with fantastic reach, resolution,

Closer to both ground and sky,
Microbes and Pleiades.

Regimes near the Western extreme
Of mood and mentality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2KnUfP7-Io

>>22432190
>and all their arguments to superiority are purely utilitarian
Exactly the opposite. Some of them argue for funding in that way, but hardly all. Take for instance the prime movers behind the NSA's LIGO project. Almost everyone involved will freely admit that it's almost certainly useless except in the aesthetic or pure discovery sense, and not worth much even in terms of prestige.

>>22432108
It does. My own experience affirms that too. But it is a broader trend right now I think. I just think higher education is particularly bad.

Most embarrassing phase was when I put a big cheap subwoofer box in my ford explorer

>>22432509
This late afternoon I pulled into parking spot next to a Ford F 350. Its hoodline was the same height as the roofline of my comfy but well preserved 2003 Park Avenue. I see bitches all the time in such things, reluctant to go over 60, for fear of how the terrible aerodynamics cut into their budgets, while I get 28 doing 75. Here's to sleek shapes, low wind noise, and decent factory soundsystems.

>>22425061
----- Solaria ----
0803
Beyond Bourgeois

I never visited my father's grave, nor cared to
But took a lot of pleasure in the general sense of scene

Replete with exquisite flowering apples,
Leisure lanes in which

A parked car, in chill overcast April, can be easily abandoned
With heat roaring, among polished granite,

And returned to with unconcern
Like one feels between florid patio and carpeted indoors,

Where everything goes in mind and speech.

I started using 4chan when I was a frustrated high schooler and still open it a couple times a week despite being pretty well-adjusted now and having an above-average life. I still relate to the 4chan milieu now more than my general social life, where I am regarded as well-adjusted and competent, even with the decline of the site. I think there is a great deal of anger and sadness on this website that is either sanitized or aestheticised elsewhere, and I greatly sympathise with the alienation expressed by various anons. I find that sympathy is easiest to grant to online anonymous posters because I am not aware of their various mistakes and bad deeds, awareness of which in others irritates me. Despite knowing this, I wish only good things to users of this board and website in general, particularly to those who will never "make it".

Cheers folks.