/lit/ - Literature

>>22394549
THIS IMAGE IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK
THIS IMAGE IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK

>>22394554
its a painting

>>22394549
So young, too young, oblivion took,
So soon, so soon, it was dead,
Hardly any had given a look
At the last poetry thread.

Sky's dimming blue, horizon's distant fire
Last of Apollo's rays reach Gaia's darkened face
Blue hour shows itself on rocky spires
Stark summits sing, sky's suture leaves behind no trace

A dull edged pain by night's sole eye awakened
In fear of distance, staring at the star clad sky
A haggard hebetude, the soul and mind sedated
My veins are trenched by pines, bestanding me awry

>>22394549
In the meek we find the form,
fireless deva, aimless, alone.
Calling the ill fitting pieces much worn,
make them rise to wholeness call.
Forged in the fire of suffering’s crone,
the element is process, naught into all

>>22394612
THIS PAINTING IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK
THIS PAINTING IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK

I like to write metal lyrics from time to time as a mode of catharsis. It's basically poetry. This song is about a calamitous volcanic event bringing the end to a civilization. (This could happen at any time btw).
Once verdant fields now gardens of insanity
Sky bereft of light , Ecliptic calamity
Smoke from below erupts to new heights
Behold this sunless world of endless night
Yesterday’s fruit becomes tomorrow’s ash
As summer’s warmth is a memory of things past
Surrender to eternal winter’s cruel bite
Is this blind fate or God’s vengeful spite?
Hunger stirs in shambling masses
Slaves below the wasteland tyrant’s bitter lashes
Driven to fresh acts of obscene brutality
Perish or accept this forsaken mentality
Over crumbling grains withering hands struggle
Yet there will be no reprieve to these times of trouble
Like long dead monsters, like the forgotten husks
Layered in postures of frozen agony deep within the earth’s crust
So too in sightless gloom will their bones soon rust

The once thriving planet, millions called home
A lifeless ball of dust , turned to stone

The flow in power cord
alone is audible. All stored
reserves are steadily depleting,
all is dissolving, fleeting;
and silent void quietly draws
the energy alike from wires and veins
with equal sips. By anguish's claws
the cage of ribs is crushed
midst monolithic plains,
and pulse beats like a lash.
With but a mild drone
the dissipating life expends.
A chair of my own —
electric one — will be, my friend,
this scorched pyre of all passions
around the ravel of chains and ashes.

>>22394549
Distant time
now awoken
expelling words
best unspoken

Old mirrors
expired reflections
broken frienship
lost directions

Nakadashi

>>22395099
Dubs thy post, I shall abide
Thrust it in and come inside
Caress and kiss, a little squeeze
Cum is dripping down her knees
Pussy juice up in my face
Switch position, increase the pace
Image is not safe for work
Grab and pull and jelk and jerk.

>>22394549
bump because the girl in the painting looks exactly like my gf
by the way, has anyone seen Frater Asemlen recently? he had a habit of overwhelming poetry threads but I do miss his presence, made the board feel more alive

>>22394612
I browse 4chan on my work computer and this could get me fired.

>>22394549
i aint never gonna hit it
i might as well quit it
that ass i'd sure love to split it
just to say i did it

Had a coffee in a mall
Life is weird and that is all
Have no speech to make it text
Swipe my thoughts next after next
Saturday is deaf to me
All noble intentions fleed
Imitating simple stride
Putting rhymes here close nearby
In a pattern of a life
I've heard rhythm can revive
Trying now and will see later
Life shall bloom becoming greater.

Buddha has spoken something irrelevant
and he smiles at the confusion
'There's a bird on the elephant'
-Does that mean everything's illusion?

-In that case, let's enjoy! Be fooled
-But I want to know what's real!
-Only feel your breath and look
-My head hurts, will it heal?

Buddha patiently hears those men
But he's wise, and has the luck
of caring little about why and when
gazing the eyes he's about to fuck

>>22396178
WAGIE IS THAT A FUCKING WOMAN ON YOUR COMPUTER? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! YOURE FUCKING DONE!

I’m always waiting for the other shoe
It’s impossible to outrun the shoe

Sometimes I feel like I’m fifty feet tall
Even then I can’t get above the shoe

And the shoe doesn’t even know I’m there
so it’s not like I can confront the shoe

I can’t imagine the shoe cares at all
Why not just live life and say fuck the shoe

But I know that the foot inside is mine
so I’m inclined to say I love the shoe

Then one blue day when I’m feeling just fine
I look up at the sky—here comes the shoe

Post more nude paintings.

if this was digital instead of oil on canvas it would get nuked, idgaf about "muh art", if it's nsfw it should be cleaned up

>>22396639
seethe more, fag

>>22396178
good

>>22394549
tiddies
tiddies
teeets

>>22394549
I saw in paint a face that seemed like mine,
surrounding Jericho in war he went.
And faith informed: In this sire from old time,
I shall learn the reason for my descent,
for the features that ages have long preserved
from father to son, and to another
again, for one reason have recurred:
In him, art will I to you uncover.
For in the world, the work’s fame out-flares me
and here my form from you eclipsed remains,
him you may glance, passing the gallery,
and in your subconscious can still retain,
so in dreams you will Rahab’s hovel make,
hiding like-facéd spy until you awake

>>22395057
First stanza works, but it really just tells us what to expect to be the poems topic, and ideally the second stanza should deliver something more concrete. As is I would scrap the current second stanza entirely--expired reflections doesn't work (no because it doesn't make literal sense, but because 'expired' doesn't add anything to the image unless its like expired as in dead) and the last two lines are meandering and cliche.

>>22394805
The metaphysical theme is interesting but the problem is the same as the other one in that the images are underdeveloped. The link between the three parts is unclear.

>>22394701
A good piece to practice your refining/rewriting skills on. You would benefit from easing up on the adjectives. I would leave out the Apollo and Gaia bit, first because Apollo doesn't form a natural pair with Gaia and just using Apollo to mean 'Sun' seems pointless because Apollo bears a lot more associated meaning than using like 'Helios' or something. Secondly, because its just not productive to have mythological allusions without developing them at all--mythological allusions arn't just meant to be decorative substitutes for natural phenomena, and if you use them like that it comes across as juvenile imo. Lastly, hebetude is a horrible, ugly word. I'm not opposed to making an average reader break out a Thesaurus at all, but its just gross sounding, like some sort of sexual perversion and doesn't add anything

>>22396178
WAGIE WHY ARENT YO SPREADSSHHHHEEEEEEEETTTTSSSS!!!!!!?

in this life nothing will do it for you
your achievements
your berievements
nothing but nature's chew

to be alone
is to be on your own
some call it loneliness
but maybe it is oneliness?
socializing is largely mime
so you could say the chimp's teaparty is a waste of time

>>22397000
These are terrible, stop filling the thread with them if you're not going to critique other peoples work or post actual poetry. Frankly, get off the board, these are the epitome of 80iq "deep" garbage. The poetry a 35 year old who listens to Joe Rogan would write once as a novelty. Also all lowercase is for trannies.

>>22397015
You've hurt my feelings, honestly.

>>22396221
sort of cloying but nice

>>22396925
why should i read this instead of paradise lost?

>>22396365
ok yeah, shoes + walls, we've all seen them
what are you bringing in the next poem?

>>22396295
it's like my dungeon master is using a cryptic to solve where the +2monkweapon is hidden
comfy

>>22395188
>>22396205
well it is visceral

>>22394908
i haven't heard this perspective before
closest is the short story verison of there will be soft rains or whatever it is called

>>22394893
very metal
always surprised by how quickly these poems bring up slavery

>>22394863
good poem

>>22394701
teal energy; very fortuitous

>>22394549
sauce?

>>22397040
Grow a thicker skin. Here's some actual advice to compensate: Don't post something you wrote in 2 minutes, actually think about what you are writing and why it's worth being written. Cranking out work after work/poem-a-day shit to practice is advice for YA garbage writers and not anyone attempting to write actual poetry. And secondly, you're repeating like Marcus Aurelius/pop stoicism "insights," which are pointless and overdone. Try writing about nothing "philosophical" or social commentary for a year or two and build up the skills so that if you ever want to do that (which I would advise against) you can compensate for lack of insight with technical skill.

>>22397106
i wrote what i had in mind not whatever arbitrary themes or ideas you would appreciate

but i'll keep it in mind for next time

>>22397062
>why should i read this instead of paradise lost?
Illiterate comparison. The fuck does Paradise Lost have to do with a sonnet you retard

>it's like my dungeon master is using a cryptic to solve where the +2monkweapon is hidden
>comfy
If you ever describe a work of art (and what you commented on doesn't even count as that) as "comfy," especially as a word of praise, you should be banned from ever talking about art again you fucking philistine

god you faggots are truly insufferable

I see nothing horrid
Post vomit stance
Outside becoming boring
While the inside
Is closed like the store
How to grow wise
And not to grow old
Ancient as the pebble edging the skies

Seeing nothing wicked like I have no eyes
Real Balkans like the Zizek
In pre-historic times.

>>22397062
>closest is the short story verison of there will be soft rains or whatever it is called
That's ...an interesting association. Never thought of it this way.
I wrote a "second part" of it about 6 years later.

The sweep hands
scrape the watch glass from within
like claws. Pulse and electric current
both might separately stream,
yet into nowhere they equally expand,
as different they aren't
and evenly dissolve in void.
It is in vain to choose, in essence:
neither can blood electric circuits avoid,
nor can the energy escape the string of vessels
to tear the vicious loop asunder.
In hands or in the bush, the birds are dead.
The very choice is an illusion. Dear friend,
either of them lay still exactly six feet under,
below the dirt on boots and ground's frigid bed.
Fate has no hope remaining to expend —
it all was sepulchered along with you
in silence. Here the only thing remains:
to find and lose anew
your image in embraces of the dream.
My life has grown increasingly damn plain,
hardly could it become in any way more still,
it's no match for the days that have passed;
and knocking on thresholds and brims
of once and forever closed doors
is foolish. Again I spill
vodka on snow half-and-half,
because somehow it's helping me last,
not to rush through the window outdoors
after one who I still firmly love.
Under the black broken spokes
of the millstone above, the sunwheel,
I'm already
withdrawing not troops
of my pages, but meanings surreal,
the mishappen assembly of strokes.
All my solders are wounded or gone.
And remaining loners in groups
guard the rest of their mass grave in steady.

>>22397125
you don't even get it
no, you're incapable of getting it
it's so fucking adorable

A admittedly incelish piece I wrote back in highschool

While on the long march
All the knights fondly thought
Of there dears, so far away

Yet all I could recall
Was how your pretty mouth
Fed this fool falsehoods

How I wish I knew
Of this apparent prior proposal
As I blindly brought bestowals

For you my dazzling dear
Even the silver shinning stars
I would of gladly given

Now I seek a spearman
To pierce my hurting heart
And mend my maddening melancholy

Some day the seas will change
And bring brick and mortar to this shore
Salt licks on marble, on marble, on marble
For days and days. What musk riles & races
Roubles are foiled in aluminum wrap. Paper
Sunlit fences and stucco facades, all sushi
leather couches, no problem, appreciating you
Wanting and wanting and wanting and wanting
Looking for moss, Mister Ten Million Dollars
ten million dollars. Freak out on the highway
Ask a question about the rhythm of the swinging
tides in the light of an interstate billboard with
your face on it. Located in the lost city of
Athens, Georgia, Ephesus, Rhodes,
Mother, Father, Home, On, The, Range

>>22396365
funny and nice
>>22394549
>young steak seasoner of the false depths

cool


good stuff guys

>>22394549
These threads feel empty without Frater, I miss that gypsy
Also we have strayed recklessly from the traditional OC Poetry thread image

>>22398702
post it, i'll use it next time

>>22398787

>>22398702
where is Frater

>>22399298
I don't know, he said something a while ago about soon being "gone from most internet usage" for an unspecified amount of time.
I can only assume that he's in a monastery.

>>22398789
10/10

>>22398642
Thank you!

Is it worth reading?

>>22396178
then don't browse

Do you guys know any words the Japanese people use in daily(ish) life that orginate from Kigo or the words in Haiku?
Or any words that were made popular in japan by famous people ?

poem
as a brief moment suspending the race
the distance to it's own meaning
ultra thin merely gleaming
through blurred angles
worth a try before it strangles
the peculiar naivety so holy
God pronounced it divine
like riding bike real slow laughing behind
the solemn expression of a regular guy
'just a dude – is that not enough??'
what the fuck all that anyway. ''stuff''
that made dreams or whatever
cars pass by in the night city center
air is regular
irrelevance but of the right kind
breath-in almost through my balls Swedenborg style.

poem. as a moment
sitting there sipping water
a dinosaur at the playground
humour rustic
in my pocket black hole teleport
i lick them faces like my diet is love.

>>22394549
mire tasteful nudes please?

>>22398588
This is like trying to start an old car in the winter. It runs for a couple seconds then coughs and sputters. The flow is wack.

>>22401429

this is poetry thread anon, let's please keep the discussion pertaining to the matter at hand

Foundation found lost
Idea recalled insisted upon
a path that is owned
by your or I, while regret or regard is only fond
for feeling accomplished enough not
successfully destruction was crossed

So many missing persons
where do they all go
the last person to see them
is usually in the know

Still more missing persons
have never been seen
before

They keep shut their curtains
no one knocks at their
door

Some of us go missing
when we want to be
alone

How I wish I knew
where all the missing persons
go

>>22394549
A haiku- on the indispensability of talking

My name is Jonny.
Much like my boyfriend Richard,
I am paid by word.

>>22402744
To miss and to lie
a man or a guy

what a destiny to be
and relinquished freedom
only destiny unseed

a joke or a laugh
a cost of ones add

a choice not given
and destitute recommended

>>22402751
Bro i found of figs are so disgusting bro, imagine for a fig to be a fig its fertilized by a wasp, we scientifically become a kind of wasp creature, cross your arms before you thin about it,,,,
It could be that your a fucking loser jackoff because you ate a fig newton and wasp ideology was carried into you beacause u ate some fig newtys

>>22394549
i love how artists are just glorified coomers in democracy

haunted

i saw you last night in my dreams
it had been so long my mind filled in the blanks

that smile of yours lit up the room, but to me it always did
but it was fleeting, just like it had been before

and my pain was sealed with a kiss

one last kiss

and just as my consciousness returned to me you disappeared again, the light slowly fading from the world around me

and there i find myself alone, with my ghost having vanished into the morning air

the memory of your cold ghostly lips the only thing on my mind

i’m a haunted man, with ghosts in his brain

and they just won’t leave

maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was the weed
or maybe it was you
one final kiss from my ghost

but i’m sure you’ll come to haunt my dreams again
the bittersweet torture in the early hours, lingering into the evening

am i a ghost to you as you are to me?

a haunted pair of hopeless romantics
floating through the night
lingering in each others minds long after we last spoke

what will it take for the ghosts to cease?
and when will i see my ghost again?

but until then i’m left alone
but the ghost will come back
she always seems to

>>22394549

Hell is awareness of what might’ve been
If only I made different choices
The timeline I want’s not the one that I’m in
For this reason I’m haunted by voices

They scornfully mock my attempts to escape
From what is, to what might’ve been
Nor, I lament, can I rewind the tape
And try it all over again

Among all of the creatures in nature
Man’s the only one that can cry
Consumed by the fight to survive through the night
Those creatures must contemplate why

How are we so weak that our eyes should leak
Must confuse them to no end
Their oblivious minds will outlast mankind’s
For they don’t dwell on what might’ve been

When you loved me life was beautiful, now it’s cold and grey
There is no longer any warmth, the color’s drained away
No food is delicious, no music is sweet, my heart has turned to stone
Nothing is funny, or will be again, as I grow old alone

Winter has arrived again, never to depart
The sun has vanished from the sky, as I have from your heart
I wonder to my lonely self, struggling along
Perhaps the sun would rise again
If I wrote the perfect song

My hair turns grey, my face is wrinkled, skin hangs off the bone
Still I wander through the snow, searching for my home
But home was you, and you have gone, never to return
Just a faded echo of your past, I’m none of your concern

Quietly into the night I go, heart filled with regret
It hurts me to remember, but it hurts worse to forget
My body sinks into the snow, collapsed into a heap
My beating heart begins to slow, as I prepare to sleep

I will not dream, it’s safe to say, this slumber is my last
A life of pain, cast out by all, heretic, iconoclast
My eyelids close a final time, behind them is my friend
Facing death, I’m not afraid; you’re with me at the end.

Give me a reason to continue
Something that I can believe
Make me feel as if I am still real
Like there’s anything left but to grieve

Everyone I care about is going, or gone
It’s draining the light from my eyes
Laura, my sister, Amanda and you
Everyone leaves me, or dies

I wasn’t worth sticking around for
I possess nothing special or rare
It was foolish to part with a piece of my heart
I surrender myself to despair

Nothing’s worth anything now that you’re gone
Everything’s hollow and grey
The sun has gone down on my happiness
My purpose was taken away

There was only one woman I wanted to wed
One life that I wanted to lead
I’ll count down the minutes until I am dead
And until then, continue to bleed

I do not belong in the world of the living
You were the reason I stayed
What is there now, that I should remain?
To ensure that my debts are repaid?

Fifty more years of taxes and toil?
Escapism, gaming and porn?
Like a frog in a pan brought slowly to boil
There’s nothing left of me to mourn

You’ve eaten me up from the inside
Then you discarded the shell
You didn’t even bother to lay any eggs
You moved on, but I’m still in hell

Right where you left me, and where it began
When you lifted me out of this hole
Only to drop me back down here again
Due to factors beyond my control

There isn’t enough time to start over
I don’t have it in me to try
You were the light which saw me through the night
Without you, I’m waiting to die.

My heart is a vestigial organ
One I no longer require
Dried out and wilting, a derelict building
Surrounded with rusty barbed wire

My heart is for sale, only used once
Average to poor condition
No longer functions, but fit for display
In the offices of a mortician

My heart is the rain on a window
An autumn leaf, dead on the ground
My heart is a bag of cats dumped in a river
Even though they were already drowned

A frigid gust blows in the window
And across the dusty floor
Broken glass and scattered trash
No one comes here anymore

Everything left where it was
As if they would return
Food left rotting in the fridge
Or on the stove to burn

This rusted junker of a car
Was someone’s cherished ride
The latest model at one time
Sitting dormant just outside

Retired to the elements
Beneath a cloudy sky
It sleeps on four flat tires
Forever on standby

Down the hill beside the house
A lonely railroad waits
For trains that won’t pass through again
On their way to other states

A mangled doll beside the tracks
Its clothing worn and tattered
Smiling still, recalling perhaps
The child to whom it mattered

I’m done with being human
I’m tired of this Earth
Of all the misfortunes I’ve so far endured
The worst of them all was my birth

Who is that man in the mirror?
I don’t recognize his face
How did I get here from where I once was?
I don’t recognize this place

Everything is broken glass
In the reflections, I glimpse better times
Each little shard has a memory trapped
Within geometric confines

Try as I might, I cannot unbreak it
I bloody myself in the attempt
Perhaps it was never unbroken?
Then brokenness was the intent.

The fact is, life was never good
Happy memories are a lie
We’re here to hurt ourselves and each other
Until, at last, we die

Love is a violent whirlwind
Sweeping you up off the ground
Immersed within a beautiful cloud
Of color, of light and of sound

Love is a pleasant delirium
Soothing your aches and pains
It dries every tear, it unbreaks your bones
and resanguinates your veins

...Until the cloud spits you out
Onto the cold, wet earth
Disheveled, confused, dirty and bruised
An unceremonious rebirth

Plummeting back to the colorless world
From which you once made your ascent
The aches and pains begin to return
Amid debris of your life, you lament

Yearn to escape the cold, grey world
For return to the beautiful cloud
Having fallen from grace, you desperately chase
But re-entry was never allowed

Gone is the warmth on which you relied
Before long, the memories fade
There isn’t a way to get back inside
Her heart is an iron blockade

Nothing to do but pick up the pieces
From your life’s exploded remains
Was the cloud ever real? Or is there only Sheol
This pit where you languish in chains

Search through the wreckage, what will you find?
Is there enough left to rebuild?
Ears still ringing, like angels singing
But even they can be killed

There’s only enough for a man-shaped shell
Like a cinderblock, hollow yet strong
It could be a house, for a bird or a mouse
Or whatever small creature comes along

You’ll never be whole in the way that you were
But there’s still something you can provide
Only the empty have room in their heart
To become someone else’s “inside”.

Half a cat is what I glimpsed one fateful winter morn
Squarely struck by a semi truck, its body had been torn

The lower half I did not see, tumbling far behind
The upper half did snap and snarl, having lost its mind

Instinct told this half-a-cat to attack the source of pain
But agony beyond the pale had driven it insane

Like a feline ouroboros, it consumed its own entrails
Intestines dangling, from the vehicular mangling, that half-a-cat entails

Body rended, ninth life ended, Halfcat is no more
Relegated, maybe fated, to a blur of chrome and gore

Fast and heavy, ford and chevy, asphalt and cement
In a hurry, no time for furry critters, I lament

Nobody will bury you, and only I will mourn
This world’s too big, too cold and hard for the small, the soft and warm

Rest in pieces, Halfcat, for there are precisely two
The angels have their work cut out, reassembling you

Who’s my blessed little one?
My tiny, hairy, sometimes scary shadowspawn?
Who’s my little demon I adore?
All Ball is the name I gave you
Cradle to the grave, I’ll raise you
Then to shadows you’ll return, forevermore

Who’s my blessed little one?
My tiny, hairy, sometimes scary shadowspawn?
Who’s my tiny demon I adore?
All Ball is the name I gave you
Cradle to the grave, I’ll raise you
Then to shadows you’ll return, forevermore

>>22403017
why did i ask to be,
an answer forgiven before received
now is as to be
and to not,
when reason accepted became,,
another to be deceived,
for reason of deceit
shown of only reason

>>22402948

That was beautiful. But bro are you ok

>>22396178
Good. Stop browsing 4chan and browse cooler sites, like 4channel

>>22396153
>>22398702
>>22399298

I think he joined the monastery and will not be returning

>>22403054
all i can do is try to be, and i guess that’ll have to be enough, thank you for reading it

>>22402782

>>22396178
Get back to work wage-cuck.
Also
>I'm on 4chan at work, but it's the supposed NSFW picture that will get me in trouble
Fucking kill yourself.

>>22397106
Not wrong, but also not not a major asshole

thank you

>>22402126
Thanks! I think that's what I was going for, genuinely.

>>22396178
>oil painting could get you fired
kek. Get 4chan x if you want to be on 4chan at work. Even blue boards will get porn spammed regularly. hard to explain to the person over your shoulder that you were on a safe for work board

>>22401429
I wandered to a crude coast
Like a ghost;
Upon the hills I saw fires—
Funeral pyres
Seemingly—and heard breaking
Waves like distant cannonades that set the land shaking.

And so I never once guessed
A Love-nest,
Bowered and candle-lit, lay
In my way,
Till I found a hid hollow,
Where I burst on her my heart could not but follow.

Ah, are you digging on my grave
My loved one?--planting rue?"
--"No; yesterday he went to wed
One of the brightest wealth has bred.
'It cannot hurt her now,' he said,
That I 'should not be true.'"

Then who is digging on my grave?
My nearest dearest kin?"
--"Ah, no; they sit and think, 'What use!
What good will planting flowers produce?
No tendance of her mound can loose
Her spirit from Death's gin.'"

But someone digs upon my grave?
My enemy?--prodding sly?"
--"Nay; when she heard you had passed the Gate
That shuts on all flesh soon or late,
She thought you no more worth her hate,
And cares not where you lie."

Then, who is digging on my grave?
Say--since I have not guessed!"
--"0 it is I, my mistress dear,
Your little dog, who still lives near,
And much I hope my movements here
Have not disturbed your rest?"

Ah, yes! You dig upon my grave . . .
Why flashed it not on me
That one true heart was left behind!
What feeling do we ever find
To equal among humankind
A dog's fidelity!"

Mistress, I dug upon your grave
To bury a bone, in case
I should be hungry near this spot
When passing on my daily trot.
I am sorry, but I quite forgot
It was your resting-place."

>>22396178
I browse exhentai
at work... the toddlercon tag.
Boss is an hero.

>>22394549
A summer breeze blows
through OPs gaping asshole
I smell cum from here.

>>22402948
painful, in a good way. nice poetry

start with the
pottery
phoenician vases
paintings
demention
long pauses and
not letting them mould you
a doll of a colonized imagination
proceed through fearlessness
into the blessed aeons of desire
nudging your suit forward
with the ghost hand sated
on the pristine absence
find thyself in between the play of
events and your compliance
for when it all ends the alliance
of shade inverts it's own drastic second-handness
into the counter-mundus
of the first epoch
withered but enduring.

>>22405926
This poem is great. Never read it before, so thanks for posting. Now I have another poet's work I could delve into.

>>22407078
>planting rue
Stopped reading there. So pretentious and retarded. But sure go on and act like you know what rue is, planted it or even have a garden.

I wrote this last time after reading some anons poem

I didnt get feedback because maybe it was so bad people thought it was a joke but here it is again :3
Mention watching Sissyphus smile and climb,
then about your muse and add a rhyme.

Mention Camus but use clever meter,
tell me how it's different and how all are lucky to meet her.

But she sucked my cock earlier and was rude to a waiter.

>>22407692
I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well with rue, or sometimes with tobacco

Their cries are satirical and ironic.
They are never sincere.
Believe my lies.
I saw your future when we met.
Life is bleak and death is a relief
I wanted to be a monk.
Not a Lutheran monk
But a monk on righteous fire with his clenched fist held high.
Somewhere in Saigon
But my groans lament "I've lost my God"

So let's write your story lovely.
I'll be your friend- don't return here.
I came to this degenerate slop house to pursue art.
I thought art was transformative.
I wanted to be someone else.
Better.

There's a lot of societal pressure to be an
Übermensch, but that giant is in despair.
I learned that people don't think so deeply about things.
That things are forgotten before the sun succumbs to shame.
You can flare up like a fox in hunt under the waning moon.

Your life isn't Houellebecqian yet.
You can have it all- a family and good food to feed them with.
Stay clear of resentment and hate.
It will etch a curse into your naive flesh.
Learn to love your wounds and the murky deep.
It's vast and beyond exploration.
But explore anyway.

My chief regret was that in a euphoric state
I believed that conscience was a gift.
That love was our natural state.
I chastised myself for being sentimental.
But that sentiment was a diadem.

If the materialists are right and there is no God, it means we were formed by star dust.
Meaning it can be said we are highly valuable and equal.
So there's no excuse for evil.
The world is cruel and will prey on you like Dostoyevsky's Shatov.
But you will find peace even if it's outside truth.
Even if what devours you laughs mockingly.
It did so because it couldn't understand why it howls within
Like a beast.
Naturally we will transcend the beastly.
This house is full of sin and hostility
But that's just a mere opportunity.
To be. To be.

"May I say FAGGOT" left my lips,
and his twinkish face turned more aghast,
even paler than his bone white hips,
"I can't believe you would even ask"

And right then I want to bite the forbidden fruit,
because never has a word become more acute.
a story about me wanting to say faggot to a twink after sex who gatekept it because im bisexual

snuggled to pieces
ten billion years of love
buttons and some yarn

>>22407692
I don't, but that little detail clearly doesn't matter to the main point of the poem, and otherwise it's a 30 second search to learn everything about it.

Soft, full of fluff
Like sweet and sticky
Cotton candy
In a magic show
At a children's circus
Or the merri go round
At the local fair
Composing a song
With a street bum,
Hey! He has a name.
Locked for a time
At the lunatic asylum,
Now, remembering
Only the sacchirine.

Been a while since i had a cuppa!
a cup of bitter tea.
Been a while since we had a talk,
but of talk, i've grown weary.
I loved you in our youth
in our youth, we were so free.
I wonder now we meet again,
again, can our hearts agree?

Rushing water at my feet
A mountain in the way
Fire runs, it wants to meet
I take a breath and stay

>>22402948
Liked it. Bit stilted but it's relatable
Good luck bro. Heartbreak breaks people

Is this a poem or just words organized into lines organized into stanzas? I hope that doesn't sound like a title or some rhetorical thought I'm genuinely asking. Here's the writing:

The first time
I wrote anything
I was 6 years old
The Mean Monster
My mother loved it

I began to write short stories
And wear a little hat
That said I want to be a writer

And these stories were good
Enough for my family
Who would gather around the dining room table
Taking turns with my writing
Dad licking the tip of his thumb
To turn the page
And saying all those nice words
And I knew then
That I was a writer

But my first novel
A commitment it seemed
Maybe a waste of time
To read something so long
Written by someone so young
And at 16 now
Becoming less cute
And more real
Suddenly apt to fail

And at 26 now
Writing fortunes
On little slips of paper
To be placed inside
Those cookies you eat
At Chinese restaurants

And this is a job
That no one ever wants
Where no one ever calls
This restaurant to say
Those words my Dad did
Sitting around the dining room table
Making my eyes wide
And my dreams big

The fortunes
More often than not
Are simply thrown away
And yet I write them
Because I can’t
Not
Write

The threat of longing is a mantle
I wear and present to famished wanderers
Who threw off their winds and set ashore
To the fires they had been born in

There and then, and now is placing
Me with you, and waving raves
On colored backdrops soundly sighing
The breath of life we breathed before

I close my eyes and see the canvas
Which I thought was long since burnt
But on the edge of our communion
Stern union, steam had trapped us there

Then night goes slow and day is fast,
I still wonder, but coming softly
Bubbling murmurs in heart and soul
I am here with you to stand it

>>22394549
On these reeking nights
Under that wooden ballroom's lights
Youthful narcissism that endears
Beds desire without jeers

How exhilaration overcomes
Holding the waist of one
Whom I'll never again see the face
Once outside of this place

In those Dionysian dreams
Where lust roams in teams
How can I deign partake on this floor
When still your lips are all I yearn for

lost in a song i wished to hear
i did not find the silence queer
the singer watched, poitely dumb
unparted lips
remaining mum

and as i called for the encore
i dropped through a boardless floor
the passion i was sure i'd heard
had not been spoken
not a word

i miss one whom i never knew
i held a notion that was not true
i mourn a ghost that did not live
and whose unwronging living
i forgive

Okay, drop it to the floor, make that ass shake (shake, shake)
Woah, make the ground move, that's an ass quake
Built a house up on that ass, that's an ass-state
Roll–roll–roll my weed on it, that's an ass tray

>>22405821

genius

>>22409865
>>22405821
>all lowercase post
Opinion discarded.

>>22409877

>filtered

I'm whorish slut
That pretends
She's a virgin

Bald, glasses and big beard
Is he many or one
Subscribe for more tales of the weird
His eyes subtly say run

So songstress sang of songs sung past.
By bearded bard, her beaded breasts
heave over heart. Healthy hearth
aflame, all heard and were amazed.

There are wagies posting in this thread and it's hilarious

>>22408231
If you agree that it doesn't matter then why include it? Fluff is antipoetic.

>>22408030
Scientifically inaccurate, fuckstain

little in progress work for you anons

In Praise Of Kudzu


Endless expansionary glut
Oriental despot in western land
I have in time come to love my lot maybe rhyme glut with despot
With you, since i can understand,

That one day,

You shall cover my very grave
Your viney tendril will extend
Even unto the far shores waves
Simon and jekylls knees shall bend
And all will call you overlord

If any voices remain at all
To, from the shelters, call
They will dine on kudzu vine
And rest under kudzu

Perhaps, kudzu or rokos basilisk will remember me for this poem, when they come into their kingdom

Two hearts one at the burger joint
Fire trucks by the only vineyards in Kansas
Reckoning by star sign
Automatic high beam control
Bubba and Rene on their way
To some french cajun adventure
Carbon steel wok &
Trolleys across the desert
I give myself permission to the computer
Up and down the elevator and escalator
The world is always with us so small and glass laid over again
Pick up the bag frrom the glass clipping signature living apartment
I’m a happy hour late and free under my own step
Just something for the producer for the henan magic
Wanda of stuff and boxes
I am doctor boxes. I am Jeff Clooney George Clooney older brother
And in 1993 I was found here in this room male lonely cooking by my lonesome on granite counter top

Put on my science hat
Study space and that
I'm made of stars and so is that rat
No higher law than tit-for-tat

>>22411041
Based.

>>22394549
We are but shovels.
Can a breath
transparent as light
wide as the earth
lift its clay?
Turn it to gold?

Or does a shovel need to be
of the same stuff as mud,
small enough to lift one
and maybe,
just maybe, build,
before it drops.

https://pastebin.com/P3rVFrue

I thought I was a peasant
Living in my hovel
Life was pain but now it's pleasant
Since I know I'm a shovel

>>22410685
Or you could see it as the specifics of life that help to furnish the experience. Otherwise, most of what we do is just fluff and we should fo nothing but study philosophy and ethics

Any good poetry anthologies or even just collected poems of some poets? I want to do some sort of a poem per day. Just list me some poets

>>22411438
Dylan Thomas
William Blake
Edgar Allen Poe

>>22411438
Depends on what your goals are. If you're looking to become a poet, you'll want to pick up as many "Best of 2023"-type anthologies you can get your hands on. If you're just looking to broaden your understanding of poetry, you might try something like Bloom's "Best Poems of the English Language."

I thought I was a wordsmith
A messenger of muses
I strove to be like men of myth
But i'm a shovel with no uses

>>22411394
>most of what we do is just fluff
Stop projecting tard

poetry is for fags

>>22412605
I tell girls I write poetry and it’s gotten me laid. I’ve literally ripped off major poets and told girls I wrote this for them. They never found out

City Crow On Fence

There is little left among our shaded days,
Too enclosed, between the battering streets
Made in the minds of those who long to graze
A pasture, where bovine to bovine meet

And can love safely, destiny to gaze
Afar, from the missiles that softly wreck
Wherever elsewhere, so that we erase,
In morning coffee, all that the world breaks.

That is what is fenced. But what of you
Whose darkness seems a sort of fortitude
Humanity has yet left to unspool,

Which may, in disarray of all our plans,
Hovering down, encircling all our blue,
Remind us exactly what we've left unfenced?

>>22412590
Stop being an exaggerative and obtuse prick online

>>22412619
I like this one. Have you ever read February 30th by Frederick Seidel. Also about a bird in a city

>>22410987
Warm, sweet

>>22408030
Based bunny

>>22408599
Rs thomas

>>22396178
Stop browsing 4chan on work computer dumbass.

Gentle is the speech of the ariyas
Scalding balm of the elect
Scourge of the usurper
Mild dew descending into the abyss

Gentle is the speech of the ariyas
Lion's teeth shredding rotten flesh
Sun rays like arrows
Calming moon beams behind your eyes

A traveling star has no home
Wave upon wave on my door
I would drown if I could
But up in the mountain
The sky has gone

>>22412608
based

>>22394549
Thy realms of rolling hills and streams so bright,
Thy sceptre shining gold with spectral light
Could never match the heav'nly heights of glee
At noblest Burger King: a taste so freed!
So keep thy crown enriched, and sceptre grand,
And hush to hear a lord so much the bigger;
With pride, I'll wear a vibrant paper band,
And shout at tyranny a thun'drous NIGGER!

>>22412619
my favorite in the thread, anon.

>>22416334
Why? It's completely irregular

I sit, ponder and wonder
how do I write poetry?
A desire waiting to be fulfilled,
yet not arisen, should I follow my vision?

>>22412788
Whats so bad about 4channel on a work computer? It's SFW. Its no different than using Facebook or reddit which most people do anyways.

It even says on Wikipedia it is SFW

URL
www.4chan.org (NSFW)
www.4channel.org (SFW)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan

If anyone asks just show them a screenshot of the article showing it's SFW.

>>22416449
Dickinson or Auden would give you an aneurysm.

>>22416530
>illiterate and mentally ill woman might make you think she writes like shit
>lower class bumpkin who memed his way into British literary circles that became overly political, despite being rightly criticised, may seem like he is writing doggerel
Woah…

>>22416538
Show some of your regular poetry that's better than both then

>>22416542
Here
>>22415173

>>22416545
>AABB CDCD

Decide on a consistent scheme dipshit

>>22416554
Wait until you find out about literally any sonnet rhyme scheme. Kek. Go read, retard.

>>22416559
>Bitches about regularity
>Has irregular rhyme scheme

I think it's clearly within reason
To suspect you might have the 'tism

>>22416566
Regular meter =/= ABAB ad. inf
I’m beginning to think this place has never even read poetry beyond Instagram posts.
Do you even know what poetic stress is?

Monke

He sat looking down at the villagers.
His head eclipsed the winter sun
and his smile shone in subtle repose
sharing the message of wholeness without compromise.
It was clear what his presence meant,
and so the children cowered quietly, afraid
to disturb their parents' wishes.

It then arose to fruition: the understanding
that all would be okay, the prophecy
would surely come to pass. Monke
has arrived in full.

>>22416567
noBLEST BURger

>>22416449
Regularity shouldn't be fetishized. Too much regularity is boring anyway, and having things be irregular could be used in ways such as making the poem feel more conversational/natural or creating a sense of unease.

>>22416499

>>22394549
---- Solaria ----
0800
Climate Control To A View

To be a little ruined by fortune
And live to see young women with a certain strut

One-ups every Lear,
Every kind of couture.

One gets used to dish about everything under the sun.

>>22416582
>noBLEST
You are fucking retarded. Here.
Go read some Shakespeare or Milton like a good boy and stop embarrassing yourself. You can’t take criticism because you’re some Insta poet wanker who thinks highly of himself.

>>22416891
Beginning the line with 'At' changes the whole scansion retard. Have a better ear beyond relying on 2-level bullshit from some faggy rap rhyme site.

>>22417020
It really doesn't, retard. 'At' is unstressed there.

>>22417027
Not if you enjamb at that location.

>>22417038
I don't know what to tell you other than you're wrong and your brain is broken. It takes a special dysfunction to read that line the way you are.

>>22417020
https://youtu.be/tyko_oQ0da8?t=74

>>22417045
End-stopping at the enjamb isn't particularly weird. There are performances of Shakespeare that read it that way. Which is also why relying solely on metrical regularity as a part of a poem's quality, versus theme, subject, imagery, wordplay, other forms of music (consonance and assonance), is fucking dumb.

>>22417067

>>22417072
You surely know an anon's brain is toast
When you start to see low effort posts.

>>22417078
It was the only proper response to what I was reading

>>22417084
When an anon has some serious 'tism
Excuses fly before a given reason.

>>22409235
I liked it. Atleast you aren't pretending like you were born in the 19th century or only wallowing in misery like 90% of the stuff here.

However, it's way too bloated and you occasionally use techniques that seem out of place.

Some suggestions:
Remove the majority of 'and' and 'but' at the start of your sentences.

>The Mean Monster
>My mother loved it
This works and makes me curious, but you don't follow up on it. Who is the monster? Are you? Is it the world? Your mother?

>I began to write short stories
>And wear a little hat
>That said I want to be a writer
Could be more interesting.

>And these stories were good
>And saying all those nice words
What does this part add to your poem? We already know your mother loved it. Why do you need to tell us another parental figure also liked it? Previously you said you wanted to be a writer, now you knew that you were a writer? What changed? What's the difference?

>And these stories were good
>Enough for my family
What does this misdirection add to your poem? It also doesn't flow well.

Cut the part about your first novel. The poem doesn't need it and the rhyming is inconsistent with the rest of your poem. It's too personal, it doesn't engage a reader that hasn't aspired to write a novel at a young age. Unlike the part about working in a restaurant, which is both personal and universal, as almost nobody will live up to their childhood dreams as adults.

Cut the part about 'this is a job'. Everything you say there is already implied by the other parts of your poem. Don't assume your reader is an idiot.

Every single sentence should impart some additional meaning. Every single sentence should be interesting by itself if you were to see it separately from the rest of your poem.

>>22417067
>relying solely on metrical regularity as a part of a poem's quality, versus theme, subject, imagery, wordplay, other forms of music (consonance and assonance), is fucking dumb.
Agreed, but you haven't even shown the latter and you can't build them without some deep understanding of rhythm.
>solely on metrical regularity
How is any of the doggerel you posted at all poetry if you don't show that you have a thorough understanding of meter? Just go write prose at that point, although it will still be shit.
>theme
You can't hit on any themes if you write seemingly randomised metre like this poem >>22412619.
Infinitely better poets, like William Blake and Percy Shelley, don't free up iambic pentameter for no reason; they studied English meter intently. Whenever they loosen the flow to allow for a desired effect, they have done so consciously. There is seemingly no reason for your strange scansion.
>subject
A shit poem about some grand thing is still shit. You can't write a lamenting poem on death effectively if you don't know how poetry works. It will come out (at best) as some puerile adolescent wank.
>imagery
This is the sort of braindead shit they teach in high school to make it easier to mark papers. Most poetry doesn't rely on good imagery, otherwise we'd all just be writing shitty Confessional poetry like Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath. Imagery without rhythm is basically just prose with line breaks, albeit worse than any prose would be otherwise.
>Wordplay
If you thought your poem had wordplay, you should probably go read some poets who actually use that efficiently. You poem comes off as someone trying far too hard to impress us with "ideas" you've half-baked.
>And can love safely, destiny to gaze
>Afar, from the missiles that softly wreck
>Wherever elsewhere, so that we erase,
>In morning coffee, all that the world breaks.
Nearly none of this builds anything. It's just half-baked ideas plied on top of another. It shifts through all these everyday things to some grand message that dies off in the confusion. It's like you're trying to philosophise in a poem, when that's just undermining any musicality you could have gone with. You basically try to dictate this deepness that isn't there, and make no effort to make it sound nor look nice.
>other forms of music (consonance and assonance)
Where you even have the weakest forms of these, you don't even connect anything (either through contrast or to build simile). It isn't even musical. It feels random like someone trying to make jazz but failing horribly because they're tone deaf. Every other poem in this thread is better by virtue of not trying so hard and failing even harder. You need to get rid of artifice and understand the basics.
My poem even had a higher form of sound when I inverted the two words' "sceptre / spectral" i.e., SCEPT / SPECT. Yours just ran into the ground.

>>22417198
I’m glad to see anons actually discussing poetry itt instead of just posting their own and ignoring everybody else.

>>22394554
I send my boss screenshots of best threads I see here.

The cage opens, all is yours
Lust turns to fear
Lost in memories of closed doors
Comforting rattles of chains near

A once-fleeting thing from this comforting place has embedded itself in my heart

And though I'll rejoice to be rid of certain parts, I feel I'll miss the whole of your heart

You tenderly guided my hand to the wheel, holding my arm in your own

Still, the rot collecting on our pedestal outweighs all the kindness you've shown

You were never unfaithful, never dishonest but you grasped too much for control

I'll never forget you, I'll carry you inside me but this house is no longer a home.

>>22394549
Only women
Could really be made
By God
From men

>>22398539
Though I love alliteration, exploit it in moderation.

>>22418481
>rhyming heart with heart
I think the second line needs a complete rewrite but I like the rest.

>>22418897
shit man I didn't even notice, great call. appreciate the feedback

>>22418481
rewrote the second line

A once-fleeting thing from this comforting place has embedded itself in my heart

It'll rage and tear when I pull away, not used to being apart

You tenderly guided my hand to the wheel, holding my arm in your own

Still, the rot collecting on our pedestal outweighs all the kindness you've shown

You were never unfaithful, never dishonest but you groped too much for control

I'll never forget you, I'll carry you inside me but this house is no longer a home.

>>22394549

>>22418962
much better anon. good work

This one is dedicated to all the Germans of /lit/:

When Tacobell she eats
my mistress must excrete
and to the porcelain seat
she in a hurry gets
and I would go in debt
just to be her toilet
and would a fortune pay
to drink her yellow spray
and my joy not convey
for it would be too great
if I had her feces ate
and licked her toilet’s plate

They told me I was gifted and talented in the fourth grade
It came as no surprise to me
Grandpa said I could see things others could not

I had drawn a perfect copy of a Harry Potter book cover
My classmates rung around me
enamored of my manifesting gifts and talents

It was good to be so obviously different from everyone else
The art teacher even invited me
to join her exclusive gifted and talented club

I couldn’t wait to break free of the bleak curriculum
To meet anomalies just like me
To give of my gifts and talents and live like a child king

When I got there, I noticed so many kids from class
who had seemed so ordinary
This was not exactly Da Vinci’s studio

But there was a communal bowl of pretzels
which sat better with me
than a crystal platter of beluga caviar

The art teacher said my head is shaped like an egg
It bothers me to this day
And that’s all I really remember of her

I failed to produce a masterwork, no magnum opus
Not even juvenilia, zero evidence
of child prodigy or future promise whatsoever

And so, I was not invited back the next semester
Washed up before my prime
Flies circling the bad fruit of my gifts and talents

Banished from the art world forever
It was made perfectly clear
I belong to the ungifted and talentless

There are thousands of millions of nobodies like us
crushed to death on floodplains
innumerable unborn and unknown to history

But then I can’t help thinking of my gym teacher
She did not fuck around
She said there’s no such thing as accidents

Yes, I have tasted the pretzels of greatness
They weren’t that great
Not to mention the presence of greatness

And what do you make of the essence of greatness
It’s no great mystery
It’s a club for them and not for thee

drizzle my nizzle
this rain
be pouring
frizzle

sunrise through window
illuminates my morning
empty bed boner

We weathered the storm
Unsure what calm brings
By law war is the norm
It can wait while this bird sings

i changed it all
to lower case
showing how little
i care
even though it took me
most of the day
to write and edit
this shitty poem

god
i'm so smart

These cliffs have watched us for a thousand years
Seen our depraved behavior
Our clever deceptions fuel our fears
Crucify our savior

>>22417198
GATEKEPT
NEW POET DEFEATED
+1.5 INCHES TO POSTER'S PENIS
TEAM (i need to know so many things to write a good poem) WINS


(r8 this poem pls, it just got accepted for publishing in my mfa class journal)

>>22417198
Damn nigga, you really got so mad that I dissed your Burger King poem that you came back an hour later to post this meandering rant? Should've maintained your ironic aggressive stance because now you just look jilted.

Most of your reply is assertions on what poetry should be, and unsubstantiated ranting, so I'll just pick and choose the main elements.

>You can't hit on any themes if you write seemingly randomised metre like this poem...otherwise we'd all just be writing shitty Confessional poetry like Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath

This is an assertion which is negated by the best of Modernist poetry, but I know your rhetorical strategy is that you're just going to reject any of those poems as doggerel anyway, all in favour of the good ol' Classics. I have no love for Hughes but you underestimate Plath, who even in her juvenilia explored form and had strong rhythm; you can see this in her juvenile villainelle The Mad Girl's Love Song, which is probably better than anything you could come up with in a lifetime:

https://allpoetry.com/Mad-Girl%27s-Love-Song

George Steiner, a far more erudite critic than both you and me, and one who fondles marble busts way more than you, had this analysis of Plath's "All the Dead Dears" in the Colossus:

"On a small scale, the lines illustrate a good deal of Sylvia Plath’s tactics and syntax of feeling. The short lines are paced with delicate, seemingly offhand control. The half-rhymes, cross-rhymes, and alliterations give tautness to what might otherwise appear an arbitrary measure. The allusion to The Duchess of Malfi (“When I look into the fish-pond in my garden, / Methinks I see a thing armed with a rake”) is nicely judged. The motifs touched on are those which organize much of Sylvia Plath’s poetry: the generation of women knit by blood and death, the dead reaching out to haul the living into their shadowy vortex, the personage of the father somehow sinister and ineffectual, the poet literally bled and whistled clean by the cruel, intricate quality of felt life."

Indeed, Shelley and Blake are sublime, but the range of possible poetic techniques have expanded vastly since then. Some people think of it as a travesty upon the craft, while others seek the future. I stand a little halfway in that I still believe strong music is a necessity for poetry, but there are other ways to get there than sounding like a Classicist or Romanticist.

>>22424104
>Nearly none of this builds anything. It's just half-baked ideas plied on top of another. It shifts through all these everyday things to some grand message that dies off in the confusion. It's like you're trying to philosophise in a poem, when that's just undermining any musicality you could have gone with. You basically try to dictate this deepness that isn't there, and make no effort to make it sound nor look nice.

Lol it seems clear to me that most of my sonnet went over your head since none of your critique is really that specific. But not to worry, I am generous, and will explain. Honestly, the idea is really quite simple and signposted in the title itself: using the image of a crow standing on a fence as a means to ruminate on urbanization. The first two stanzas riffs on the idea of fence, fencing, barricades, enclosures- how we, as humans, are enclosed by streets "made in the minds of those who long to graze/a pasture, where bovine to bovine meet/and can love safely" (e.g. urban planners, whoever conceives of the developed city as mere means to create comfort etc...). The volta then shifts focus to the crow (the 'you') which becomes a symbol of everything that is unbounded, 'unfenced'. I wrote it in about an hour as an exercise, so it's not that deep- many Modernist poems have far more complicated and elusive approaches to a subject (see any of Wallace Stevens, Hart Crane, or the previously mentioned Auden). That you were tripped up by such elementary enigmatizing strategies, though, does not bode well for your critical faculties.

>>22424106
>Where you even have the weakest forms of these, you don't even connect anything (either through contrast or to build simile). It isn't even musical. It feels random like someone trying to make jazz but failing horribly because they're tone deaf. Every other poem in this thread is better by virtue of not trying so hard and failing even harder. You need to get rid of artifice and understand the basics.

Then of course, there's this unsubstantiated hyperbolic criticism regarding my music. I mean, it probably doesn't mean much in the wider scheme of things, but that I had 2 anons who praised me unprompted in this shitty site at least indicates that there are other people who can sense 'something' going on. Can't say the same for your Burger King poem. Though, if you're going to attack me so venomously, could you at least put forth some of your actual, unironic verse rather than hide behind the veil of irony? Where are your unironic Shelleyan or Blakean poems? How can I take someone seriously who doesn't even have skin in this game? And, since you have so much self-praise for 'specter/sceptre' did you notice the alliterative and consonantal play in 'wreck wherever elsewhere...we erase', internal & slant rhyme in 'between/battering', 'safely/softly', 'you/whose/fortitude/unspool/blue' etc...? And surely someone who's so enraptured by Romantic cliches - like 'rolling hills', 'bright streams', 'heavenly heights', 'enriched crown', 'sceptre grand', shouts being 'thunderous' - must surely sense what I'm doing when I shift from a word with pastoral implications like 'pasture' to scientific lexicon like 'bovine'? No? Damn, I guess Plath really was describing a blind-ass nigga like you when she wrote:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

>>22424104
>>22424106
>>22424110
TL;DR
Go read a book of poetry. You know nothing.

>>22424116
Damn Speed Racer- hope you aren't that anon because if you were this just makes you look even more pathetic.

When an anon has some serious 'tism
Excuses fly before a given reason.

>look what this mentally ill roastie said, you know the one who wrote like shit and who loved to get raped and beaten by Ted Hughes until he cheated on her so that she committed suicide by gassing herself like a Kike
Please, for the love of God, read something not written by trashy Confessional poets.

>>22424127
The poets you look up to all suck shit. Try to get through an actually good poet for once. Even George Sterling might be good for you, as he writes simple enough for an Instagram retard such as yourself.

>>22424134
Big words for a nigga camping on a 4chan poetry thread. Maybe you should listen to your Papa Blake and go lay it all out to a therapist:

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I waterd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veild the pole;
In the morning glad I see;
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

>>22424149
>camping on a 4chan poetry thread
My poem was a joke and it far exceeded your poem by a hundredfold. As for "skin in the game," I just had my tenth poem accepted. What about you? You're the one seeking praise from strangers in said "4chan poetry thread." Your blind rage speaks of a deep insecurity, a gnawing sense that you are indeed a charlatan and none of your exegeses make any lick of poetic sense, since your poems are so poorly executed and outright ugly.

>>22424163
'Deep insecurity' and 'blind rage' saith the man who, by his own claim, is a published poet, yet whose every other post is a low effort gripe and who skulks these halls sounding like a drunk Kanye West. Surely you must see the deep irony here. Well show those vaunted verses of yours then, or be one of those bitch-ass niggas Shelley warned about:

The sun comes forth, and many reptiles spawn;
He sets, and each ephemeral insect then
Is gather'd into death without a dawn,
And the immortal stars awake again;

>>22424188
So you're unpublished and just want anonymous strangers to praise you? Got it.

>>22424193
When an anon flaunts authority
In the vaguest terms, without the slightest proof,
Hoping to convince majority,
That's when you know the nigga's clearly lost.

>>22424214
The acceptance rate for poetry is 5%. It’s an easy market to break into. You’d be able to get into some shitty e-zine. It’s your place as an “artist,” after all.

>>22424221
You seem to know a lot about shitty e-zines. Is there something you're not telling us about those 10 accepted poems of yours?

is it really so bad
to order 2 ice creams
for myself

>>22424240
Keep seething. It’s funny. Also keep posting poetry online so they can never be printed anywhere reputable.

>>22424244
>2 ice creams 4 myself
>those digits

>>22424247
Of the two anons in this tussle,
one seething, and one having fun,
the one who has his jimmies clearly rustled
is obvious to whoever else around.

>>22424244
>>22424248
incredible get.

>>22424263
You're not having fun. You're never having fun. That's why you lash out at anyone who even remotely calls you out for writing uninspired garbage. The mask is slipping, but maybe you can save us from seeing the void underneath by simply being humble; after all, gnothi sauton!

>>22424272
Gasp...no...you're right...I'm sorry for my grave offense, Mr. Ezra Pound. I'm sorry my shite poetry was a blemish before your superior Grecian mind, forged of "of hammered gold and gold enamelling". But damn, you could do a HELL lot better than possessing the computer some jilted e-zine rhymester.

>>22424293
>Ezra Pound
Don't throw around names you don't read, nor understand. But go read his syllabus; it might make you less insufferable.

>>22424302
Dunno man, not sure if I should take literary suggestions from someone who accuses others of 'lashing out' when that's what he's been doing this whole time. Doesn't seem so 'Gnocchi Sauté', if you know what I mean.

>>22424355
So you admit to not having read someone you namedropped? Maybe come back to the board once you finish your sophomore year.

>>22424363
These weak comebacks are neither for the modern stage nor an Attic grace. But you'd make a good twitch streamer.

>>22424371
>twitch streamer
Is that what you like to watch instead of reading, young man?

>>22424381
lol

>>22394549
Copper to water.
The fins alight, moon's finger
nailed to the fishhook

Nice painting

Oh noez, teh rain be fallin'
So sad, it's like kitteh's bawlin'
But let's unite, all kittehs, we
Embrace teh rain, joyfully

I’m awake again
another morning without
a wet hole to fuck

Arise chicken
Become undeath
Beginning from end
Surrender to Seth

>>22425161
>>22426232
>>22427561
stop bumping a dead thread
no one reads here

>>22427565
Just write a stupid poem retard
The worst one yet
Long descriptions of rancid lard
Explore your diseased head

thought to be the main character
flushed on the first wave a casualty
roaming the dead ground
in a clown suite ghost
wearing a graucho marx comedy marx limbo
mouth feasting on a self-abnegated farce sneeding
of this world flesh stuck in the motions
vomit melting
cannot enter
it's closed
disgusted and out of touch
through an eclipse
I'm lost
and worst of it all
I've spent my care
while running
as a slave stunted
and frightened
words have price far less than I would ever witness
and carry that weight of the current time
go fitness
all fast speed jumping away
shielded within the gray
zone on the margins astray
watch as I disappear in the purple
sexuated foreign gaze
into a tight box
as me laughter
mad barking dogs
watch as I disappear in the purple
of my own disgust seen in the mirror
my life could never be nearer
smearing the lie of my life on the online beggars obese indecency
every vapour of this stuffed room
added to the haunting
of the pig satisfaction and (you)'s
how it scratches
the vitriolic nail on the right foot
deeper stepping to mud
plush like a cunt juice
intoxicated
and spitting bile into a spit jar
collecting the melted chains
visible only in demented light
right when the moon is in the eight house
of Aquarius.

How do I know
what I want to be
and what I want to want to be
does it matter?

I want to want to slake my thirst
on life greedily, drinking deep
and letting it drip down my chin
but I want to feel the numbness of oblivion
and be cast into the void
to unexist

I don't know if bravery is embracing
those things we feel that we don't want
to feel
or if it means throwing them away
the gnawing I feel
I don't know if that rat is trying to get in
or out
of me
but I know I feel his teeth

31 year old man tries edgy teen angst after being dumped for the first time right before moving to a new place full of strangers

>>22412874
Nice

All nice

>>22427929
I can relate.

>>22394549
It was to be remembered as the Day of the Rope
as the night fell in this city of sin
blood boiling, crawling in my skin my crushed hope
let's begin

The Devil's machine
booting, blue screen, blue light, baby's got the blues
flux; FIAT LUX! my cheecks flushed with fluster
barely visible, my hand clutching my manhood, barely visible

It was about to Shoot some Ropes

It will not be emptied
until it was

eternal pale winter over a bible black forest
obscure men summon many dead gods before us
drawing sigils of protection upon a tree
soon apocalypse comes for you and me

this cloudy monday
they are repaving the road
right next to my head

>>22394612
damn what's her number?

Deep in the dusk
A giant refused rest
Blood on a rusty husk
A doomed quest

i cum into the snatch
who knows what will hatch?
and no man's girth can match
the fuckstick i've got attached

>>22432237
much higher than yours, I’m sure

>>22403017
Lovely.

Prayer the church's banquet, angel's age,
God's breath in man returning to his birth,
The soul in paraphrase, heart in pilgrimage,
The Christian plummet sounding heav'n and earth
Engine against th' Almighty, sinner's tow'r,
Reversed thunder, Christ-side-piercing spear,
The six-days world transposing in an hour,
A kind of tune, which all things hear and fear;
Softness, and peace, and joy, and love, and bliss,
Exalted manna, gladness of the best,
Heaven in ordinary, man well drest,
The milky way, the bird of Paradise,
Church-bells beyond the stars heard, the soul's blood,
The land of spices; something understood.

Does anyone have the poem about anon getting belted by his father? I'd appreciate it if you post it.

When I pimp out my daughter she'll howl,

But I'll force her to go on the prowl,

For a man with the money

To pay for her cunny

And who won't mind her eight-year-old scowl.

When I opened my coat to the troupe

Of young Brownies arranged in a group,

There were giggles and screams,

Several fainted, it seems,

As my prick sprayed them all with hot goop!