/lit/ - Literature

>>22286608
A bit late OP but thanks nonetheless

Does an experienced anon have advice on how to start writing?

>>22286629
In what way?
Just start writing. If you want, try to emulate authors you like in short stories to learn to replicate and analyze their styles.
>>22286608
Why do the bunnies have blood on thwir mouths, and is that austronaut dead?

I'm writing a sentence where someone gets possessed by a ghost and they attack a bunch of people. Do I write "the duo tears through the crowd" or "the duo tear through the crowd"?

>>22286653
tore.

Or better, describe how the duo went through the crowd

>>22286653
neither, you would use "the duo tore through the crowd"

>>22286740
>>22286741
That's not the tense I'm using

>>22286751
then you're going to have to write:

The duo, tearing through the crowd, blabh ablhasljabhla

I want to write and I like writing, but every time I try to write the only characters I have any actual interest in writing are furries.
Is there any hope for me?

>google title I'm thinking of using
>it's shared with some song and book I've never heard of
Should I try something else?

>>22286797
yes

>>22286767
write about furries.

>>22286767
Let's see some of your work.

>>22286834
This is the only piece of my writing I have on hand currently. Its one of the few pieces that actually has human characters.

https://pastebin.com/7v1CzEZt

>amazon wont accept my work to be published in a paperback because the use of symbols in the writing.

What do I do now? Rewrite the story a bit to describe the symbols?

>>22286865
>the use of symbols
What kinds of symbols?

>>22286869
old alchemy symbols. nobody wants it traditionally but i still want a hard copy

>>22286898
Aren't there unicode characters for those?

I read one of the crime novels from the contest I am writing for this year. The bar is hilariously low. Guys I am getting published for sure, even if I don't win first place. The third place winner was so horribly bad, that any one of you here would write better than they did.

Would it be in poor taste to include a little addendum at the end of my novel with a list of proper pronunciations or a similar guide on how to read certain words? Most of the names of characters, locations, creatures and concepts in my writing are ripped or inspired by slavic folklore and I feel like I'd lose out on a lot of their charm, subtext and the impact of certain story / plot beats by anglicizing them.

>>22287017
Best of luck, brother. Hope to see you in the author pastebin soon.

>>22286999
Used it. Didn't work. Amazon can't seem to convert it

>>22286824
God damn it, I was already starting to really like this title too...

>>22286767
Open up that Patreon big boy.

>>22287123
I don't write porn though

>>22286797
The inspiration of my title was from a poem. So I just reread the poem and made several other names just in case. The first one was close enough to something else that I might not want to use it.

>>22287017
Best wishes, remember to not get caught up stewing here and instead focus on writing

>>22287017
What made it so bad?

>>22287186
>>22287027
Thanks. I'll try to focus more on writing, now that I got the ball rolling.
>>22287208
It failed in everything it tried to do. I don't even know where to begin with it. It was badly written, it had plot holes, it wasted time, many of the characters were useless, and the final minute reveal of who was the killer, made no sense. Not only that, but it was unintentionally mean spirited, and didn't know exactly what it wanted to preach.

But the main thing I take away from the tree winning novels of the last contest, is that the writers of my country simply lack imagination, creativity, and courage. They don't have the courage to tell a story, where things happen. So instead they write these slow boring, aimless and time wasting novels, where the criminal just kinda tells the reader their motivation, in the last 10 pages. I want to avoid all that, and I want to tell a story with emotion, pathos, ambition and thrills.

Do you ever commission art of the scenes or characters from your work?

>>22287264
No but I will.

>>22287264
Yes.

My blurb is shit. Any help?

>>22285272
Pastebin censors, retard.

A newbie here. If I want to share a story for criticism, should I upload it on Pastebin and drop a link here? Or is it some other way preferable?

>>22287264
I draw my own stuff for my stories but lately I've been unable to draw because i want to finish this story as soon as possible

>>22287345
I wouldn't use "evolve", sounds weird. No offense, but it reads like a first draft. Sounds too stilted. Play around with the words more, people love that shit. I'd go with something like;

>Spurred by her crew's sudden disappearance, Adah sets out to track down her missing company. With every loose thread she plucks, another ten take its place. Having finally caught a lead, she soon unravels a tapestry of cutthroat conspiracy. Ill tidings on the wind; rumors of men being turned to beasts, of vile things hiding in the dark. But who could possess such power, and moreover, what dire plot hides behind his bloody trail? Question by question, Adah follows each footstep, though as she closes the distance, she comes to find that the darkness she seeks may be closer than expected.

Just off the top of my head. I don't know your story so I have zero context, but going off what you wrote and the vibe it gives, I'd try something like this. Hope it helped.

>>22287345
Listen to >>22287440, but also think about replacing your final line. By revealing that the enemy is closer than she realized, you're undercutting the mystery and probably spoiling a major story beat.

>>22287395
Pastebin, or a screenshot if it's short

>>22287440
you're good.

>>22287264
I've been coping with prompting but I really want to draw my characters myself. God, I wish I could draw...

>>22287440
thanks anon. God damn, are you an editor on strike right now?

>>22287440
I don't like it. There, I said it. Everyone else might gobble up this slop because it's wordy and therefore, good, but I refuse. I don't think it fits the aesthetic of the cover art, what you wrote sounds like shit that belongs on gothic or horror art.

You didn't pay attention to the context that the poster provided you and focused only on the words.

You are a shit writer.

https://pastebin.com/DpXBG2NQ

>>22287264
>>22287289
I'll bite, who are they

>>22287345
the thing is I can't tell what genre your book is. "Knight, forest, and quest" tells me it's fantasy, but "team, missing persons case, conspiracy, Serenity" tells me sci-fi. From the cover image I can't tell if she's wearing knight armor or a space suit. Your blurb should really tell the reader what genre it is. Is Tymber a kingdom of a planet or a space station? Is Adah's team a group of knights? Are they affiliated with the government? Are they mercenaries? Are they friends?

>she discovers someone is turning humans into monsters
this sticks out as the actual conflict of the story, but it's like an afterthought. And personally I'm not a fan of the questions at the end. The reader dosen't know the answers, obviously, but you have to make them care about finding out the answers. Here's a half-assed rewrite, knowing nothing of your characters, genre, or story:

>For millennia the Kingdom of Tymber has been protected by the valiant Knights of Valora. Their sentry through the peaceful woods of Vulvairian goes horribly wrong when the knights go missing, leaving the kingdom defenseless. Only Adah, the pluckiest and most adorable of the knights, remains. It's up to her to find out what happened to her closest friends before an attack is launched on the kingdom. But the once peaceful woods are now filled with strange werewolf creatures, their armor bearing the crests of her knighthood. Could these beasts be her friends and missing errant knights? Adah must plunge head first into the mystery of these werebeasts' origins, and untangle a conspiracy that leads her back to the castle he was sworn to protect.

And the dotted lines are just there for layout, right? They're not part of the actual design?

>>22287568
All three.

>>22287568
>I have never heard of science fantasy
Just shut the fuck up dude, you're giving me secondhand embarrassment over here.

>>22287568
It's fantasy with magictek stuff. At the core it's a mystery story where Adah and her team are basically "cops".

The dotted lines is the "trim" from Amazon. Its basically what gets cut off when it gets made into a book.

>>22287484
>>22287486
>>22287507
Thanks bajs, just what I needed to push through this last stretch of my session.

>>22287525
Thanks for the feedback(?) but

>You didn't pay attention to the context that the poster provided you and focused only on the words.

What context? To me it reads like a fantasy(sci-fantasy(?)-mystery plot. I went off the blurb, didn't really look at the cover art which maybe I should have, but I still wouldn't change it. And yeah, I focused on the words because that's what I felt was lacking.

>>22287576
If it's science fantasy then it should be clear from the blurb.

>>22287550

regarding this guy >>22287289, Jorfr Hulson

https://pastes.io/kfbjtftrfi

tldr immortal draugr turboviking with ice magic and theme of "immovable object"
dude willed himself back to life (though his entire race has that ability, it's just extremely rare for someone to activate it)

>>22287601
Careful with this. If he put down some shit like
"In a world where science and magic collide..."

>>22287550
The woman and man are a Gurney from Dune type captain-of-the-guard and his forcibly adopted slave-daughter he raised from infancy for the purpose of training her to be the emperor's daughter's bodyguard but is actually secretly grooming her to become a human weapon in a long-game revenge plot by teaching her esoteric combat meditation.
He tries to frame their relationship as master-pupil, but deep down they feel for each other as father and daughter. He is reluctant to admit it to himself because that would mean confronting the fucked up circumstances of her upbringing in which he is complacent.

>>22287264
>>22287607
Also, art that is currently cooking for the same story. Picrel is the first render pass out of two.

>>22287670
That's hype

>>22287675
ayo nigga dat hype nigga fr nigga muhfuggin nigga littttty fucking nigger

Good estern hemisphere morning, thread.

>>22286767
Not my petsonal favorite topic. People with animalistic or magic qualities, monster girls, monster boys, etc. are more aesthetic. But I can completely understand you anyway. And your reader will understand you. If they like furries, they will all like reading about them.
>>22287027
You absolutely should include small worldbuilding material or pronounciation guides if you feel the need to. It's like 3-4 pages you don't really need to read to understand the novel, but anyone who liked your writing will read it.

>>22287711
There is no reason to be upset.

>>22287545
I stopped at 8. Is this a chapter in a larger work, or is it a standalone story? If it's a standalone, you really need to do more to pull the reader in. There's no hook, no intrigue, no reason to want to continue reading.

>>22287264
no, but I make AI art for my stories. Here's one of my rejects. The style came out ok, but it's not what I wanted.

>>22287759
Can I steal it if you don't want it?

I'm stuck right now. I got the general idea of how the plot turns but it's hard to place it together with first two (small 1000 and 2000 words) chapters of the introduction. Then the aesthetic of the setting and theme changes, protagonist goes on a quest somehow and over powers through it. I don't know how to tie the different parts and change narratively or how to slow down the progression and make a simple display of incredible might of an allegorical character more interesting. I don't ask you to resolve it, just some plot construction techniques or where to get inspiration.

>>22287759
How do I make AI art? Midnight generates such shit art

>>22287759
Don't have the easy access to good AI for pictures, but fleshing out concepts for my own use and inspiration to get the writing going works well. Do you intend making art for web publishing or making covers with AI? Seems pretty hard to make any AI to get the right picture. I will probably try to draw myself or together with AI if I can figure out a technique. Picril is just something AI generated after a few tries to connect it with my own imagination.

>>22287779
Sure. Take it. But you'll need to fix the umbrella and her fingers and that weird afro puff thing going on.
>>22287788
Stable Diffusion is the cheapest and the most powerful. Midjourney is easier to use, but it has a lot of limitations. Check out /g/'s Stable Diffusion general for tutorials and links. It's all free.

This image was made in stable diffusion thanks to a specialized anime model, some Loras, and inpainting. It would be impossible to make with midjourney.
>>22287802
I use AI for cover art.

Things to focus on when editing a second draft/First draft?

I know a few things i should focus on is the grammar and any words that repeat. Also anything that's hard to say when you read it out loud. Any soft desc words like "Vaguely," "Seemingly," ect

but what else should I be looking for and editing?

>>22287051
What format did you upload it in?

>>22286629
Break writing down into its three components:

- The Writing Habit. When and where and how you actually write. Are you sitting at the same desk? Probably wise. Are you sticking to a schedule? How are you staying motivated?

- Storytelling. This is your content. Think about what genre you're aiming for, and if your story flows properly. Check out guides on how to create proper conflict and resolution. Make sure your story's length and tropes are appropriate.

- Form: the words themselves. This is about mastering grammar. Look up common beginner mistakes in fiction, and you'll avoid a lot of the same troubles yourself. Get yourself a program like Grammarly or ProWritingAid.

>>22287788
https://rentry.org/sd-mashup will get you started
check out the "AI DEGENERATED ART" thread on >>>/b/ for lots of examples

Is this too purple


The pitch black empty that shrouds Claudia's mind. Sometimes to her is like a seeping hole unable to stop bleeding.
Eternal darkness of the heart or the death of her ego.

The spectre of memories bygone, voided and stuck in all the wrong ways.

She feels not like the heiress, an isolated figure trapped with brick and dust and mold, awaiting the march of iron clad royalty. Her freedom.

But like the terrible dragon, betrothed to predestined fate, bound to the wheels of time. Slain by the law of storytelling. The last page of the book. A dead end.


Ultimately, She is a broken mirror. Diffrent now in so many ways yet cracked at the same time.

Claudia stared at the ceiling, Luna's light shone on her. The breeze of Gaia's breath chilling her pain. Her hopes, her dreams, was it all in vain.

>>22286608
Any tips on having sex with a moon rabbit?

>>22288854
This reads like schizophasia. What is your main time? Do you not know how to use incomplete sentences? Can you make clear what your subject is? No such thing as too purple, just plain incomprehensible babble.

>>22288884
It's an excerpt from something i scrapped, supposed to represent internal of thoughts of a depressed character

Here i thought it was because i'm an esl, but really i had schizophasia.

Thanks though you have given me minor insight to make writing a bit clearer

>>22288128
This is how I edited my manuscript recently. I was fine with the characters, the events, and the dialog, but I wasn't happy with the prose. So I went through it paragraph by paragraph like this.
>what happens in this paragraph?
>for example: we establish the waiting room of a hospital and the people within it
>what is the character feeling at this moment?
>for example: slight disgust at the sterile nature of the room. A desire to quickly leave, but she can't because she has to see someone.
>what are some key words I can use to put this feeling into the tone of this paragraph?
>for example: miserable, silent, sterile, vomit, queasy, wounded, impatient, etc. Maybe a metaphor or literary reference to purgatory and the slothful.
>rewrite that paragraph without changing what happens, but change the tone and style so it now thematically fits with what you want the reader to feel at this moment

Also, like you said, removing soft descriptor words like "vaguely" is good, because it heightens everything. You should not just remove words that soften your tone, but you should rewrite things to crank your tone up to eleven. I once wrote a paragraph describing homeless people in the city, and I didn't want to offend anyone so I described them in a way that made it seem like homeless people are sort of annoying. In the rewrite I thought, fuck that, I'm going to crank the tone way up and write the most hateful shit I can think about for homeless people. And the rewrite was so much stronger because I just laid into the hatred so much I exaggerated the hatred to a ridiculous level. It's much easier to write something over-the-top and walk it back later, rather than write something too meek and leave no impression at all.

>>22288871
AI wrote this https://pastebin.com/HJpkMsA0

>>22288271
Pdf. I took out the symbols and it worked again

I've got a bit of a problem. Originally, I had planned my protagonist being in a sterile, lifeless relationship and as the novel goes on, it degrades even further and further. By the end of the novel, he casts it off entirely with no qualms. However, when I started writing about the woman he's dating, she turned out completely the opposite of how I originally intended her. She's loving and supportive, almost to a fault. I ended up keeping her this way, figuring that if the protagonist is in a healthy, loving relationship, it'll create more drama as it degrades and the protagonist will have some inner turmoil to resolve when he finally decides to end it in order to pursue his life's ambition. But the problem is, as I'm progressing through the novel, in some ways, the relationship seems to be strengthening rather than degrading, and it's making me completely rethink the ending. I still plan on having me protagonist pursue his goal no matter what, but now I don't know if I want them separating at the end of the novel. I feel like if I have them stay together, it'll come across as cliche and corny though. Moreover, I'm personally something of a cynic. I don't relieve believe in the whole idea of a woman who will stick by you through thick and thin. But at the same time, I'm not sure ending the relationship is the right move either. Would an ambiguous ending be the right move or am I just looking for a cop-out? I'm still only halfway through the novel, so there's time to alter course and steer things in the appropriate direction. Any insight would be appreciated.

>>22288970
>>22288871
oh no, the moon bunnies sensed you were a coomer astronaut. You are now dead.

>>22287735
It’s chapter 5 of book 2. Does that help, or does literally every scene need to be an end of the world scneario?

>>22289005
Where did I mention an end of the world scenario? I just said to make it interesting for the reader.

>>22286608
>moon rabbit girls
[Hands OP all the weeb prizes]

It took me 9 days to write a 5300 word chapter
Cooking on a low fire?

What is with my mind being most active for writing after 10 PM? Words come as easily as if my subconscious was suddenly leaking into my conscious mind, my prose flows the way I want it to, and ideas and brainstorming come like lightning. This state has a caveat: I usually sleep by 12, and owing to health issues, cannot really afford to deviate from my sleep schedule. Is there any way to move this activity up earlier in the day?

Pitch your book with one sentence.

>>22289224
It's incredibly high brow, read it to make your brain grow.

>>22289231
>anon's teaching the museum and park routes of the london black cab exam
Congrats man

>>22289045
You’re such a dullard that all you provided was the vague suggestion of a hook. I tried to figure out what would be an interesting hook, and you bitched. Sorry I couldn’t read your feeble little brain.
I’m not sure it’s worthwhile to listen to the advice of someone who can’t communicate.

>>22289224
Anon pitches the manuscript at another anon and it hits the anon right in the head and anon falls to the floor and claws at the face screeching like a child.

>>22289224
It's all fun and games until a child disappears just as he predicted and maybe he really is from the future after all, or maybe a serial killer.

>>22288988
I don't necessarily think there's any issue with having your protagonist cut off this relationship if there's a goal he wants to pursue that having a relationship might get in the way of. What's the problem you're seeing? Remember that people rarely make completely logical choices, and even "logical" choices can end up being the wrong choice. You don't need to always have your characters make good choices, and I would say you should often make them take deliberately bad choices if it fits their personality. Who's to say that this guy won't regret his choice some years from now because of his tunnel vision?

>>22289224
We must obliterate the Chinese.

>>22289224
Medieval societies scramble for weapons grade uranium.

>>22289224
A regretful war vet from a militia group and an underage orphan girl go on a cross-country search for him so she can kill him.

>>22289202
Do caffeine or accept death.

>>22289224
What if Trump was a cute girl?

>>22289389
> What's the problem you're seeing?
I guess problem is more of a gut feeling that cutting off the relationship like that just isn't the right move. The only reason I feel like following it is because changing the relationship from a sterile one to a loving one had also been a gut feeling and that one turned out to be the right call. I feel like there has to be another way to have them stay together in a way that doesn't make the woman seem two dimensional or like a pushover.
>Who's to say that this guy won't regret his choice some years from now because of his tunnel vision?
I've already foreshadowed that this might be the case if he continues. The protagonist's father made a similar choice to him and it resulted in his marriage falling apart and living a lonely life.

>>22289224
Wraith warrior meets a fairy that offers him to show the way to a cemetery.

>>22289224
Man in his late twenties risks blindness in one eye to resume boxing career after nine year hiatus, and in so doing, destroys his career as a high school English teacher and risks losing the woman he loves.

>>22288988
>woman loves worthless man
you're writing an isekai you just don't realize it

>>22289224
Incel gets laid>>22289231

>>22289533
Aren't all men worthless when we get right down to it, Anon? Be real, who among us in this thread really deserves love? Also, in the novel, I hint that she has issues with codependency and part of her arc is resolving these issues and being clear about what she wants from him, which is something that's likely incompatible with what he's trying to achieve.

>>22289586
>Aren't all men worthless when we get right down to it, Anon? Be real, who among us in this thread really deserves love?
Where did this come from?

https://pastes.io/juntn58gum
does this read well

>>22289224
Ghosts are just humans with both mental and mortal afflictions

how do you guys find comps for your books? Especially if what you are writing is pretty unique to the book space but not necessarily unique by itself

>>22289595
I guess it comes from the fact that I believe most people don't really deserve love, but for some reason or another many find themselves on the receiving end of it nonetheless. My protagonist is one of these people and unlike most, he's aware of the position he's in.

>>22289627
I just lie.

>>22289627
I just stretch as hard as I can. It can be worth going for more recognizable titles even if they don't reflect every aspect of the story. There are only a couple contemporaries I write like so I start the comp title comparing to a contemporary title with a similar voice and then contrast it with another title that completes the impression.
Comp title doesnt have to mean what your story is practically a ripoff of. You can just go off of the feel.

>>22289586
faggot doomer

>>22289224
Some guy usurps space monarchy.

>>22289224
>>22289408
Medieval societies scramble for weapons grade uranium while rival cabals of shadow wizards manipulate them for their own devices while characters process trauma through the lens of cultural third parties and the therapeutic manipulation of an evil spirit from the shadow realm made manifest into a not-Lenin for shits and giggles because human society and its power structures almost always produce a hefty amount of dispossessed ripe for someone to direct their fury.

>>22289750
That's more than a sentence buddy.

>>22289658
Not an argument, chud.

>>22286608
Touhou lore is analog horror tier. Also bad.

>>22289790
The girls are cute and fuckable.

>>22289757
A run-on sentence is still a sentence :^)

>>22289586
>Aren't all men worthless
Obviously not or you wouldn't have electricity or most literature

>>22290034
since when are coal plants men

>>22287759
>it's not what I wanted.
thrn dont use AI a literal luck based generator of crappy images that only get a pass by overly rendering shit and flashy details that make no sense lmao, AI shitter

>>22290034
Being a good writer or inventor doesn't preclude you from being a bad person.

>>22288982
PDF is flexible enough of a format that the exporter might have done something inappropriate like convert them to vector images. I don't know which formats Amazon supports but another may give better results

>>22289586
>Be real, who among us in this thread really deserves love?
Nobody deserves love. Love is something you earn. You find someone, you give them love, and you get what you get. Deserve ain't got nothing to do with it. No guarantees either.

>>22290038
That coal won't burn itself
>>22290102
A "bad person" is not the same as a worthless person

>>22290102
>bad person
This phrase doesn't mean anything.

Personally, how do you determine whether your writing is "good"?
Also, thoughts on going to Barnes and Nobles and writing with a laptop at the cafe section? I like the atmosphere, but I also want to make friends.

>>22290252
>t. bad person

I met a guy the other day when he stopped me in the street to point at a reflection of who he used to be. Told me his name and that he thinks his daughter misses him, but didn't know, it all felt like so long ago, and she must have some pictures of him somewhere

>>22289224
Traveling to a distant land, a young woman kills the first person she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.

By this time it was 21:17, and the young girl watched helplessly as her mother walked in a hurried pace, turning back every now and then to look pitiably over her sunken shoulders, with delicate attention to the placement of her feet, back up along the ravine.
The consequence of this sight had so much affected the young girl that she struggled to see it clearly through her many tears, which she endeavoured in futility to free herself from as quickly as possible with her trembling hands; and although they had been darkened considerably over the years by the many hours working under the sun unprotected, her hands now appeared to her as white as the many sleeping sheep nearby.
“Mama!” she wailed. “Mama!”
The young girl waited silently, straining her ears for a reply; but none came except for the baa’s. She saw barely in the darkness the white figure of her mother at the top of the small mound, which overlooked the canal, continue up to the farm and gradually disappear behind the five-barred gate.
When Veronika saw that her mother was not going to stop, she ran up the ravine, and, slipping a couple of times in the mud, climbed haphazardly over the fence in pursuit; and at once the ten or twelve sheep, who stared about behind the fence to see the source of that noise which had woken them, sprang to their trotters in agitation. The young girl glanced at that terrifying mass of ghastly cloud which had congealed all of a sudden out of the ground, and she turned into a sprint.
At that moment, the older woman heard footsteps behind her, and she turned around; but she saw nothing, for her eyes were not used to the type of darkness peculiar to rural areas in the nighttime.
“Ah, mama, is that you?” cried the young girl. “I can’t see you. Please, mama, don’t go.”
“My flight leaves in forty minutes, Veronika,” replied her mother, “and I’ve got the car running so I must really get going.”
“But, mama, you’ve just got here,” begged the young girl. “Please let me just talk to you.”
“And now I must go,” the older woman replied coldly, and she turned away.
The young girl did not wait for a second longer. She grabbed her mother by the shoulder, and with desperation she held onto her tightly, while the older woman herself seized the young girl’s hand and scratched her nails into its flesh, which instantly made the girl scream in shock. Veronika tried to pull her hand away, but it remained stuck under her mother’s fingernail, which pierced through it almost like one of those cork board nails.
“Mama! Stop,” she screeched.
“Well, Veronika,” said her mother, “have you finally gotten the message? I’m going to England with or without you.”

>>22290255
You won't make any friends but it'll get you out of the house. Maybe the cute bartender will talk to you eventually.

>>22290255
I did some outlining at a B&H café last week. An old man fist bumped me for letting him share the outlet next to me. I paid $6 for a girly Starbucks drink. Overall, 7/10 experience, might try it again

>>22290786
The local bookstore here is joined to a coffee shop next to it, it's a great place to read and I always buy beans there. Seems like lots of college people hang out there, but I of course don't know any of them. Not sure if I would ever write there, but I might consider any kind of editing that is more straight forward.

>>22286608
https://literotica.com/s/lets-all-go-to-the-diorama-arcade
New story. Or my most recent one, anyway. Erotica-but-not-really. Let me know what you think. I forget if I've posted it here before.

>>22290625
No idea if there is a cute bartender but I want to try it out since I have a serious issue with staying in my room for days at a time since WFH and uber eats is just too good.

>>22290611
Is this set in Poland? This is pretty riveting. Any more?
Only complaint would be "one of those cork board nails", I think the use of "one of those" changes the tone to more conversational and casual.

First third of the first chapter. Been doing rewrites on it for sometime now but still doesn't feel like I'm getting it right. I mean, I understand that it's rather expository heavy, and I do remember the 'show don't tell' rule. But I'm trying to get his backstory out of the way so I can focus on the future action.

Maybe I should cut a chunk out of it and have him talk to the ferryman regarding his motivation instead.

https://pastebin.com/hyYwMmPV

>>22290084
using a combination of AI and photoshop I've been able to generate 22 different professional looking book covers in a week for less than $10. That's 22, cream of the crop, yes, these are exactly what I want, some I didn't even know I wanted, covers. Which I picked and chose from a hundred good generated images.

Using a human illustrator I can commission one crappy book cover in six weeks for $1000. If the human could make just one book cover better than AI, I would pick them, regardless of price, but all the illustrators I've worked with have always disappointed me. I think I'll stick with AI.

>>22291084
>for less than $10
I hope you're not counting electricity costs into it like a total tool.

>>22291084
>he can't find a skilled SEAmonkey artist doing high quality art for sub-100 bucks
skill issue

>>22291084
seething retard
you crawl in here every week and shit up the thread
when will you learn that you're not welcome

>>22291112
NTA but when will you learn you speak for no one but yourself

>>22291163
gargle my fat nuts AI apologist nigger

>>22291112
usually I don't come into these threads because most of the writers here are beyond help. But you morons who get all riled up over image generation are truly pathetic. Do you take commissions? Can you make a good book cover? Post your portfolio. Maybe I'll commission you.

>3 chapters
>3k views
>35 favorites
>140 readers
Are these stats good for an isekai escapist slop story?

>>22291180
Stop replying to the schizoposter.

>>22291165
if anti-AI people are as coarse and unpleasant as you, consider me pro-AI

>>22291187
yeah that's pretty good for that early on

>>22291187
very. I only got 5k TOTAL. and I'm done with my story. deleting it by the end of the month.

>>22291187
what website?

>>22291231
>>22291223
>>22291214
Scribblehub

>>22290107
I gave up trying after using wingdings to see what gets through. nothing. So I just rewrote a few sentences here and there and hope the reader doesn't get confused. If they do, oh well.

>>22291237
>Trending stories
>Ecdysis (tags: BDSM, beastkin, philosophical, polygamy, R-18, racism)
>Deadpool fanfic
>Harry Potter fanfic
>Monster Hunter fanfic
>Bleach/ DC comics fanfic
>Unborn Hero (tags: comedy, fantasy, girls love, isekai, LitRPG)
>These Side Characters Have More Important Things To Do (tags: boys love, fantasy, isekai)
>Saintess Summons Skeletons (tags: LitRPG, body tempering?)
is there a reason why they're not just using fanfic dot net?

>>22291502
>he doesn't know

>>22291502
besides the obvious fact that you have no chance on ffnet if you don't write fanfic, ffnet has dogshit discoverability even compared to sh

I’ve had a serious problem in the past with just pantsing my work until I run out of steam. Finished my chapter outline and the prologue. Gotta celebrate little victories I guess.

I think my biggest impediment over the years is that I developed my fiction style through forum RPs and short stories, so while I think I can write good scenes and mood pieces, the connective tissue that transforms scattered ideas into a coherent long term story is weak.

So what I’m focusing on right now is seeing editing as half the work. That’s to say, tolerating some inconsistent pacing in favor of getting the initial rough draft complete, and editing will be what transforms the stuff I wrote into a complete book.

Figured I’d write this here cause, I dunno, proud of the fact I’m learning I guess.

I've started worldbuilding. I have plots spanning thousands of years apart from each other, histories, major events, and more importantly smaller stories that have massive implications for the big picture. Should I map out the cosmology now, or flesh out the stories first? Ultimately, I want the main, overarching plot points of all the stories to be hidden and interpretive, having to be parsed or theorized and constantly changing as the next piece of the puzzle releases.

>>22291710
Write a story first.

What is the single most beneficial book you've read that improved your prose? Elements of Style for me, but I'm a schmuck.

>>22288982
You did embed fonts, right?

>>22291710
I like to plot my story out and then "discovery worldbuild" as I write the manuscript, taking notes and whatnot
gives me a sense of adventure along with my characters as I write, don't think I could stomach going off my own encyclopedia

>>22291924
This is the best way. Though for consistency's sake it's good to plan at least some major events beforehand. It gets awkward halfway through a long-running franchise to go like, "oh did I ever mention this cool thing which ought to have affected our activities on several occasions before, but which the author only invented now?"

>>22291751
I just like watching Paul Schrader interviews. After you get over his rasping asthmatic breath and geriatric old man pauses while he searches for words, he's got a lot of good writing advice

>usually require ‘warming up’ before i can get into the flow of writing
>consists of copywork, writing indiscriminately, editing, etc.,
>usually takes as short as an hour to up to half the day
>read 2 or 3 poems
>takes about 10-15 minutes
>immediately ready to go

Why does poetry do this to me?

I'm having trouble deciding who should be the main heroine of my story. There are too many cute girls to choose from. Normally, I'd just start writing and see how it turns out, but the choice of a heroine will have a pretty big impact on what kind of story it becomes and if I pick poorly, it might not work out at all. It's like getting married on a first date.

>>22291998
pick the spunkiest retard of the bunch, it'll be a fun read even if it turns out to be a dumpster fire

>>22291751
>Elements of Style
lame

Any advice?
https://pastebin.com/wTPLDfBD

>>22292363
Yeah, don't write gay characters

>>22292374
But how else can I combine formula 1 and masturbatory dreams?

>>22286608
holy shit it's the space bunny thing i saw on int 3 years ago

>>22291710
Do you have any characters?

>>22287782
Noone has an advice for me?

>>22292473
It's impossible to answer such broad questions with so little information.
>I got the general idea of how the plot turns
We don't. We have no idea what your talking about.

Start here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

He found a peculiar note in the garden, next to the blossoming flowers and his read out was being listened to.
In the kitchen, with his hands tied behind his back, next to a bottle of wine, a man toasted to the torture.
The dog will be punished, he said.
Then, he left.

>>22291710
There's a chance you're falling into the "worldbuilding trap".
So many times, I've seen a writer flesh out an elaborate world, only to realize they have no story and no characters.

>>22292639
I keep fucking up and I don't know how to rewrite my shit.

How do I get over the hurdle of choosing the right words when writing the first draft? I know I should be going for good enough if I can’t find it immediately, since I can always go over and edit it into what I really want, but I still find myself occasionally pausing (not even consciously) for spans of up to half an hour despite the fact that I’m choosing to not linger on any words. Are there any exercises or books that can help with this?

>>22292721
Also, is this an improvement over this:

https://archived.moe/lit/thread/18328166/#18330553

>>22292769
What do you mean by right words? If you need something to match the style or time you will have to read literature that has the language you need. You can't go without it if you just don't know what's right and what's wrong to use. Or do you mean you can't pick the right word that has all the necessary value with subtext and meaning? Then you have bad luck, you will need to look into synonymous words and meanings. Your word understanding is what you're born with, but you gotta read to get it to it's peak too.

How do I characterize dialogue? I mean, make it different. It seems sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I have pretty distinct characters most of the time, but their speech still looks similar. I think making characters speak in archaic manner like ingames is too on the nose. Maybe some different words like happy words abd sad ones? Maybe minute historical, educational and class differences?

>>22292788
I mean the word that I want but just can’t quite remember at the time. I’m a voluminous reader, had no friends in my formative years and only recently developed them in high school because I spent that time reading. Yet, for some reason, when in the act of writing, I will reach for a word that I specifically want to use only to find it just out of grasp. This causes me to pause, and like an AI trapped in a logic loop; I freeze up. I’ve read a lot, yet I cannot seem to bring up and transform what I have read, to figure out my prose, because I have read for many years while all of my writing time, when added up over those same years, probably amounts to two or three days combined.

>>22292845
>I mean the word that I want but just can’t quite remember at the time
My answer? Tough shit. Keep writing.

Your first draft will suck fucking dick. Just keep writing. Once you're done, take a break.
Come back to it tomorrow, slowly read through it and criticize your own writing. You'll quickly find how clunky your writing feels when you read it a day later and you'll have plenty of appropriate words/synonyms to use.

>>22291751
I find that reading poetry helps improve prose. Pretty much all the great prose stylists were poets on the side or consumed lots of poetry.

Otherwise you kind of have to have an ear for it (which you can develop by reading poetry).

>>22292845
Just use a good thesaurus, that's literally their purpose. Wordhippo is a good electronic one.

>>22292812
It mostly comes down to their vocabulary and choice of metaphors. That in turn will be influenced by their upbringing, occupation, social class, etc.

>>22289224
Children starve and commit war crimes while looking for a ghost

>>22293270
Based.

>>22289224
Violent terrorist fully believes that there is a fantasy jew behind every evil organization (and is right)

What I've been working on recently

>>22293498
Surprisingly easy to read and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's the formatting.

i have trouble feeling confident with my writing. I always have the urge to seek validation from anons to muster up the motivation to keep on writing.

>>22293536

I think it needs refininging in an area or two but otherwise I'm pretty pleased with my opening

>>22293573
Confidence comes from within, Anon. While external validation of your work can be helpful, the fact you're concerned about how your writing looks is a positive trait in itself. I can tell you right now the worst writers are the ones who can churn out a hundred pages with total confidence that their work is perfect. That's how Tommy Wiseau wrote The Room.

>>22286651
The blood is to indicate they kill people. The astronaut is dead or dying, hence why one of his oxygen tubes is loose.

>>22286653
‘Duo’ is singular, if you want to want to write in present tense it would be ‘tears’.

How do I use nicknames to point out the characters? Like there's a guy named John the Protagonist. Do I just write "Protagonist" or "the Protagonist"?

Recently got insulted by a girl I've known for a long time because I proposed (we've never dated). Would sending this poem be a terrible idea? LMK if it's too cringe

Obsession? That’s a hurtful word
Which you’ve chastised me with,
But if it’s the insult you wish to use
I don’t deny it fits.

I am obsessed with you,
My sweet cherry blossom tree—
Your cerise hair, your gentle whispered laugh,
The quiet mumbling each time you speak.

And if a thousand pink petals were plucked from your limbs
I’d love a thousandth of your beauty all the same
For you are like a pure childhood memory, nostalgic,
Yet the cause of all my pains.

>>22293990
Stop.

>>22293999
Okay good note. However I don't really want to. Any other advice?

>>22293990
Sending poems always preempted a breakup for me. Maybe save them for her to find later if things do work out.

>>22294016
Alright. That sounds like actual good advice. Cheers.

>>22293990
If you already are presenting like a crazy person then yeah. Why not? Go with it and maybe she'll think that it's worth a time. Update us on the results.

>>22294007
>Propose to a girl you've never dated
>Try to send her a poem for some reason after she turns you down
Please take a step back and realize how ridiculous this sounds. She's not interested, If you want to keep this girl as a friend and don't want her to actually tell you to fuck off, stop what you're doing.

>>22293990
The autism is strong with this one. This reads like the prologue to someone become a full-on stalker.

>>22292883
I don’t even have to wait for a day. Only around 2 or 6 hours.

>>22294324
However long it takes for your view to reset, so to speak, anyhow.

>>22293990
>Recently got insulted by a girl I've known for a long time because I proposed (we've never dated)
Anon, for fucks sake. Just that sentence alone made me cringe.

First, you're putting pussy on a pedestal. That's bad enough by itself.
But second, a poem? Really nigger? Persistence works - but you first need to attempt a relationship and not outright marriage you absolute fucking tool. She probably takes dicks on the side and doesn't think of you as you think of her. You are not her oneitis.

>>22293990
This is the saddest shit I've ever read.

>>22293498
I liked the first paragraph, thought it was something you copy pasted honestly. Second parageaph and after reeked of trying too hard.

>>22288128
At such an early stage of editing you should be focused on major structural changes. What chapters, scenes or characters need to be added, deleted or moved around. You should be focused on the story, the arc, whether there's sufficient tension, the payoff, the theme, whether it all holds together.

It's not the time to be worrying about vocabulary and grammar.

>>22293990
Yes, it's cringe but she'll probably think it's cute. Girls love boys that write bad poems. Go for it.

another week has gone by, and yet i am still no closer to finding my author bf/gf
books to cope with this feel?

>>22294728
You can read my short story but stay away from me, homo.

>>22294731
what's it about

>>22287670
It's finished.

>>22294757
that brick looks fucking weird.

>>22294798
>drawing of voluptuous fantasy woman with ass in the air
>anon looks at the bricks
gay

>>22294737
Low fantasy edgy spec ops set in age of black powder.

>>22294833
damn, sounds right up my alley except i hate short stories

Pared down my draft after editing out the cringe and I'm under 80k words now. I deleted a lot today but I also wrote at least 1k to elaborate on one chapter that just didn't have enough. Still have 10 more chapters to check.

>>22294836
Well on the bright side if you hate them so much, it'll be over quicker.

>>22294836
Why would anyone hate short stories?

>>22294969
they don't give me enough time to start to care about the characters

>>22293990
>I proposed (we've never dated)
were your parents related, like before they got married?

I wish I was the East Asian Tolkien but I cannot put the same level of work into my setting as Tolkien did

>>22288800
>This is about mastering grammar.

Is it possible to make "dat feel" moments with evil characters? I spend so much time figuring out plot, characters, symbolism, trying to make it look bizarre and impressive. But now I realized that non-human evil characters don't have bad or good feelings to the same extent as even ordinary guy protagonists and generic big titty elf girls have. I think I am trying to do something very difficult when I'm writing a scary big monster dude going around killing things and the only human thing about him is warrior ethics. I am almost inclined to switch perspectives to the generic human hero journey kid. Doing new things is fucking hard.

>>22294630

I wonder what authors are an obvious influence on my style of writing. Trying to go for a bunch of paranoid obsessives getting deeper and deeper into trying to unravel the mystery of a lost media film type of thing with my novella

My story will have four POV characters, and I'm increasingly suspecting that I need to adjust my prose to give the third person limited perspective a more distinctive voice for each character. So instead of saying "John made his way through the darkness, the air thick with smoke", I would say "John made his way through the darkness and wished he had a fan to blow away this endless smoke." Or maybe even "*Damn this smoke*, he thought as he stumbled through the darkness, his eyes watering".

Setting aside my word choice, all things being equal, is it better to give my third person limited viewpoint a detached dispassionate voice, or the particular voice of the POV character? And if it's the latter, should I take it further by sharing the character's thoughts, perhaps in italics when it's verbatim?

>>22295895
Run with the warrior ethics idea. Watch some Klingon episodes of Star Trek. Illustrate the villainous character's limitations in empathy, while throwing the reader a lifeline with some sort of proxy that allows them to see the wide gulf in humanity between this character and his victims. Maybe a sympathetic character is witnessing all this bloodshed? Or maybe the villain has some dull, nagging feeling that something is wrong but he could never change his ways, even when he's given chances to do so that the reader can recognize and appreciate.

Does this piece flow? I can't believe I'm still posting. I'm so shameless...

>>22294990
Then you aren't reading authors skilled in the short-story medium.

>>22295895
If your big scary monster doesn't have a perfectly good reason for going around killing things, then you've written a one-dimensional villain.
I'm going to guess the rest of your writing is similarly shallow.
You have a lot of work to do.

>>22296060
Structurally, there's nothing for the reader to attach to, i.e there is no pov, so it reads like some detached account. That would be fine if it's in the middle of the book somewhere but it's risky to put it in the beginning.

In terms of prose, there's a clear lack of variety in sentence length (just look at the last paragraph). Of course, that can be used for effect (though I don't know what the intended effect is here), but it can also be overused and become a defect.

>>22296102
Thank you anon. I guess I'll rewrite it from a character's pov.

>>22293990
My obsession,
My sweet cherry blossom tree—
Cerise hair, your gentle whispered laugh,
The quiet mumbling of your speech.

If a thousand pink petals were plucked from your limbs
I’d love the thousandth of that beauty all the same
For you are like a childhood memory: pure,
but nostalgic, and the cause of all my pain.

My protagonist has lost his memories and got them replaced with fake ones, which caused a complete shift in his personality. Towards the better, I hope.
This is supposed to be a plot twist that hints to the REAL antagonist of the story: the Hero himself!

I want to hint at it throughout the story with his friends (who are secretly part of the conspiracy) reacting weirdly when he does something "Out Of Character".
For example, the older version gave his friend a speech about how forgiveness and mercy are luxuries only the strong can afford - and that he won't. Because he sees himself as an instrument of God's vengeance and all.

But the new one gives an equally heartfelt speech about the quality of mercy and how since all humans are Sinners before God, they should be forgiving to their fellows.

How can I go about this subtly without the reader twigging on?

>>22296218
So, basically the movie "Total Recall"?
Based on the short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick?

>>22296235
No. But the similarity is definitely interesting.

I don't remember the specific story that inspired the idea of the story, but it was from Japanese stuff. Anime or manga, that is.

I have about 4000 words written for this short story, but I want to take a step back and assess whether it is actually good. Thoughts on the intro?
Also, what's the best thing to do with a short story, do you think? Collect them and sell them as a collection? Submit them to short story contests?

>>22296218
How intelligent is the MC?

>>22296318
The original short story was published in April 1966.
When was this manga/anime published?
If it was after that, it may have "borrowed" the idea.

>>22296319
Reading this I felt there was something good buried beneath the maid-and-butler dialogue (all you're missing is the "as you know"). Honestly, felt like an ambitious story being attempted by a green writer who doesn't yet have the chops to tell it well. Or (more likely) just a rough draft in need of some polish.

>>22296029
>four POV characters

>>22296082
it's not the authors it's a me thing

>>22296353
He's a genius. At least when he isn't being lazy or in tunnel vision

>>22296319
It's competently written, easy to follow, no mistakes that I noticed. Unusual quality for /wg/. I find something a bit PKD-esque about the piece. But I can't believe people who have lived longer than 20 years would talk like this. Are the numbers some kind of artistic, metaphoric exaggeration or what? You have the skills to tell a story, but the dialogue drags and doesn't really say anything, and the expressions are pretty cliche, which takes down the overall impression.

>>22296319
>wide berth of colors
I don't think you know what a berth is

>>22296319
I like it. It seems very suited for a long form novel instead.

>>22296373
Thanks. It's mildly revised, I usually do a once-over after I write something then move on. I think you may be partially right about not having the "chops to tell it well" yet though.

>>22296491
The numbers are literal. See: pic related, the story's premise is that a spell was cast that would keep the world in a constant state forever, and the main character grows salty about it after his nteenth divorce.
Also, could you note which expressions you thought were cliche? I'm also aware my dialogue is kind of bland, not really sure how to improve it honestly. Maybe because I am a big fan of PKD, Asimov, and Vonnegut and their dialogue tends to be nonexistent or bad.

Thanks to you all for the feedback. I've genuinely been writing on and off for about 8 years while occasionally posting for feedback here, so it's good to hear that I'm at least mildly competent.

>>22296319
If they've lived thousands of years and multiple marriages why would he be so emotional. If anything they'll just be supportive of each other and wish each other good luck on their next one

>>22286608
I'm writing this film treatment and I am about to start the screenplay. I know what the odds are but I don't care. I could use some feedback. It's a very snsppy 11 pages, and I think you will be pleased with how I've managed to weave the plot together with one of Edgar Allen poes short stories into the plot which itself was in inspired by a very obscure short story by Ian Flemming.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zWm0eDWN49u_0gAdsnuvIC4jME-S27uRBL6DdAm-PmM/edit?usp=drivesdk

>>22296218
You make it ambiguous. You try to write something that can be taken both ways, depending on the information the reader has. It is not just about what the lackeys say, make the two speeches in a way that you can give them something ambiguous to say.
Could be something completely different, but here is my take on it: "Cheers to the Sinners" or "May all Sinners be blessed", something in this vein. I like the idea of making it about the sinners, especially if the original personality also identified himself as a sinner for not having the mercy that God does, except he sees the lack of mercy as the right answer for a real human, in the situation that he is. If the story allows it you can even add a bit more depth by making it clear that the original personality, even if he took it as how it actually should be for a human, was not happy about mankind not matching up to God and made him feel crashed by it on some level. He would like to be able to do otherwise, but that would be a betrayal of humanity, his friends or whatever is happening.

>>22296550
One trick is to put anything that you need the audience to know but the characters should already know in internal monologue, thoughts, etc. This passes information invisibly to the reader without taking them out of the flow of the scene. It's a trick only available to the written form.

The bigger issue though is that there isn't a strong enough conflict in the scene. When there is conflict it's resolved too neatly and arbitrarily. He doesn't want the painting, and then... he just does. It's literally just them standing in awkward silence and talking about stuff they should already know. That's realistic, I guess, but that's not a dramatic scene. It's not clear what either of the characters want. Basically it smacks of someone who is enamored of the idea more than the characters.

There's also stuff like "My lips flared into a smirk" which makes want to throw acid in your face, but that can be rubbed out in the revision.

>>22296654
That's a fair point. I wanted the scene to display itself as "hopeless", but I suppose that just made it dull as I tried for a more "realistic" type of hopeless where it's boring and both parties are tired of fighting.
And yeah that lip smirk thing is really fucking bad huh. Thanks for the advice, I'm sure I'll post again once my story is completed but god knows how long that will take.

>>22296389
1. Protagonist
2. Villain
3. Sympathetic character who gets killed after three POV chapters
4. Reader proxy character who exists only to converse with two dialogue-heavy characters

Critique... por favor...

https://pastebin.com/xxgEX4LS

>>22296550
>which expressions you thought were cliche?
Stuff like "[moon] like a silver platter". Argh. And most of the dialogue.

>not really sure how to improve it honestly
Think more about the message you want to communicate. When you've established one point, move on to the next and avoid repeating yourself. You spend two pages here asking non-questions like "what was the point?" and "was it worth it?" which essentially mean the same, but skirt around answering. That doesn't make for interesting reading.

If you ask a question in your writing, the answer must come like a punch, PANG. It doesn't matter if it's pure bullshit or something you personally disagree with, but the characters should be strongly opinionated. That's an easy way to make things interesting and it's something PKD does really well, actually.

Why, yes, I do listen to the same song on repeat hundreds of times as I write.

I wrote this today. It's crap.

>>22297524
I liked it :)

First time posting. I realize this might be a little purple, but I think the gravity of the thing I'm describing warrants some flourish. I also have a hardon for alliteration, so let me know if it starts getting exhausting in this excerpt. Anything reasonably constructive is much appreciated, I'm trying to get better.
"It was even better in person. It towered over the tarmac, glistened like an alien crucifix, hummed with electrifying majesty that cameras couldn’t capture. Through vast filament networks, phosphorous vapors flowed in slow, steady breaths through lungs of ferrous metal. Its immense cordate wings, spined with featherlike stalactites, stretched outward from a swirling base to disperse their tones like tuning forks. A great pulsing chamber of plutonium at its core emitted ghostly blue radiation, and through calcite capillaries flowed noble xenon.

I wish you were there to see it. Before we activated Icarus, there was a serene beauty to its mechanisms, how freely it manipulated elementary particles to suit itself."

>>22297578
Difficult to picture. You need to invoke some sort of comparison so the audience can get a sense of the dimensions and structure.

>>22297524

I might change "and she looked back at the ruinous landscape before her." The land she's looking at is 'before her' (i.e. in front of her), but she looks 'back' to see it.

I might also change "She knew not the reason why she felt such a deep yearning to follow the sound of this bell, but it reverberated deep within her chest, like a war drum spurring her on to victory, or defeat."

To something like

"Why did she feel such a deep yearning to follow the sound of this bell? The urge reverberated deep within her chest like the roar of war drums, spurred her on to victory or defeat, though she didn't know which."

But that might be just stylistic nagging.

>>22297587
I could say "The idol towered over the tarmac..." or "The idol was even better in person..." so that it's clear what's being described is a living statue. Do you think something more fundamental than that needs to be changed to put a reasonable image in people's minds?

>>22297578
take a step back, maybe wait a day or two, and reread it. it doesn't flow well. i read "glistened like an alien crucifix" and it's already a confusing comparison, then i get bombarded with more "hummed with electrifying majesty" etc etc, it's all so vague and I'm supposed to fill in the blanks for what "electrifying majesty" and "lungs of ferrous metal" is supposed to look like. you need to be more direct, i like SOME of those phrases but in no way does mashing them all together into a confusing blob make sense

>Redditors are using $700 for a book cover for Royal Road
>you fags won't even spend $1
What the fuck are you doing?

>>22297719
I'm spending a fraction of that price per artwork
You must have more dollars than brain cells if you don't even bother to spend some time shopping around for an affordable artist

Even if you want a more complex environment or multiple characters, you really shouldn't need to spend that much for a cover art

>>22294757 this will be both an illustration and cover art, just need to do the cropping and typesetting myself

>>22297618
>>22297556
Thanks. It's too edgy lol

>>22297719
Saving money, that's what we're doing.
Thanks for giving us yet another reason Redditors suck.

>>22297719
>waaaah! Give me your money!
did you ever think that maybe people don't like your work?

>>22297719
Most royalroad authors are using AI though, so what are you talking about? The people buying 700$ covers are the already established Patreon Kingpins who have plenty of money to blow (so why not commission a top artist?).

>>22298084
AI does put out some really impressive results if you take the time or get someone who knows the system to generate something for you

unfortunately i automatically clock ai art like it's a tranny by the greasy sheen over everything

>>22297719
>Redditors are
That's why.

Nobody cares what those retarded wretches are doing.

In my dream life, I hire Chris Riddell to illustrate my book.

>>22298162
But are 4chan users any better? Not that I'm defending reddit. Just, both sites are equally shit in different ways. I don't get the sense of elitism 4channers have over redditors when it's just two different cesspools.

>>22298101
That "gloss" is just amateurs generating AI art.
If you use img2img to increase the number of generations, that tends to go away.

Writing correctly feels so good. I feel the urge even in texting, but sense that I'd be perceived as autistic.

>>22298271
It seems pretty generic. I don't want to pay anyone to generate or create though. Feels like good skills in 3D rendering can come in handy if you know how to make things look 2D. It's also possible to make each chapter illustrated this way...

Do you guys think there's a difference between something being made for children and being "childish"?

>>22298316
Of course. Childish means something bad and implies failure to execute the work properly.

>>22296814
Good quality writing overall. The time flow seems a little off to me by starting at a dinner already over, then thinking over and then going to club to play with girl and then jumping a week... idk maybe could be streamlined a bit in and made to flow bit better. But solid at the line level.

>>22296597
anybody?

>NATO-chan says die for Ukraine.
>There just might be a little pain
>Two decades later you're in Spain
>Climate change floods streets it's insane
>Love for neocons is big brained

>in order to learn good prose you should read good prose
>Read good prose
>don't know if my own prose is good

>>22298518
I feel you. You have to read your writing a couple months after or get feedback. You have to eventually figure out your own style and keep within its borders to improve.

>>22298499
Take it to >>>/pol/

>>22298316

Something can be made for children while acknowledging that children wrestle with a lot of adult-like things beyond their articulation and something can be made for adults while failing to stimulate anything but the most base unevolved urges. There's definitely a difference. It's not /lit/ but I tend to think of TV shows like Arthur that are intended for children but are able to handle mature subjects with tact, accessibility, and truth. Likewise there are shows like Family Guy which treat their adult audience like utter idiots.

>>22298609
kys normoid fag

>>22298613
even to 4chan, the lowest rung of society, you are nonhuman trash, you filthy /pol/ user. Go back to your quarantine board

>>22298666
the devil cannot help but reveal himself

What are some good tips for writing consistently when you have a brain disorder like ADD?

>>22298101
>unfortunately i automatically clock ai art like it's a tranny by the greasy sheen over everything
It's pretty bad. I think going for my stylized looks and using specific artists can produce okay stuff

>>22297578
Way too purple, even for what you're doing. Try to condense it. Get rid of all those extra adjectives.
>phosphorous vapors flowed in slow, steady breaths through lungs of ferrous metal
metal lungs breathed phosphorous vapors
>spined with featherlike stalactites,
That's three images in one short phrase. Spines. Feathers. Stalactites. Pick one.

>hardon for alliteration,
Maybe it's in the DNA of English, because the Saxons loved that shit. It can easily be off putting for us moderns though. Be careful

>>22298316
boot up any royal roads story that sells itself as """mature""" and you'll immediately understand the difference

>>22299018
Nta. I've tried a little bit of this RR slop. Popular and more serious pieces too. Now I'm disappointed in /wg/. Oh no, not because RR schlock was good. It's because you all write basically the same thing over and over and just change the character names and appearances.

>>22286629
>>22287264
>>22289224
>>22291751
>>22298316
Bot posts

>>22290813
It's amusing enough. Miniatures are just too close to Second Life or the Sims, so it lacks the novelty it should have

>>22299302
How can you tell? Most people here are barely any more sentient than a bot.
4channers really are the worst...all the social impairment of nerds, and none of the brains.

>>22299908
Time and time again I see you posting in this thread. With ellipses and scornful words and some utter nonsense about hydro-liquefying a majority of humanity into oil. Your position on AI is as dubious and accessible as Hegel is to the layman, and your words are cruel and callous. But most of all, you are unknown. Are you the Boswell poster? Are you F. Gardener? Who are you? Some anon speaking his babble to a deafened and blinded audience.

>>22299908
>How can you tell?
Because they're lazy inane questions meant to start a conversation. And the OP doesn't ever respond. It's either a bot preloaded with posts or a bumpfag who might as well be a bot. It wouldn't be so bad if it only went off to keep the thread off page 10, but it posts way too often.

>>22296777
>protagonist and 3x boring filler
So exactly what I feared

>>22298234
Reddit appeals to the lowest common denominator while 4chan appeals to the arrogant know-it-all dickhead.

I simply prefer dickheads that may know their shit from time to time over heckin' wholesome 100 keanu reaves chungus masses.

>>22296777
>4. Reader proxy character who exists only to converse with two dialogue-heavy characters
Why does he exist? Is this character really necessary?
>3. Sympathetic character who gets killed after three POV chapters
Is he? Am I supposed to care after 3 chapters?

I wish the schools I went to had more focus on creative writing, it was mostly focused on research essays.
I'm starting to write for my webcomic series but I am struggling with story structure. The 3act story structure is so foreign for me and it just doesn't click. Turns out I don't know how to write a story at all. This is all baby's first steps for me.
I have a beginning and the idea of how I want it to end. Writing the middle is the hardest part for me. Especially the mid point, I don't know what that is or how to keep it interesting after that.

>>22300198
>The 3act story structure is so foreign for me and it just doesn't click
It's exceedingly simple. Introduction, conflict, resolution.

>introduction
Present the actors, the setting, and all necessary information the reader could need to follow the story. Probably more important than individual personalities is the establishment of an overall goal of some sort. The endgame where everything is headed. This is where the majority of amateurs stumble. They have the coolest heroes and elaborate, creative locations, and whatever gimmicks, but not the faintest idea where it's all going, if anywhere. What are the ending conditions of the story? You should decide that before anything else. It's the number one source of writer's blocks and loss of motivation. And it has a huge effect on how your story is received. Readers may not be conscious of it, but they can intuitively feel when the purpose is missing and it will cause them to lose interest sooner or later.

>conflict
Introduce a problem that prevents the characters from reaching their goal. The simplest obstacle is a bad guy. The antagonist shows up and makes life difficult and things are solved when he's eliminated. But it doesn't need to be that basic. In a short story, the protagonist forgetting his car keys on the kitchen table can be enough for a source of conflict. This is a handy device that can be used to extend a short story into a novel or a longer series. Maybe solving one problem creates additional problems?

>resolution
Self-explanatory, really. The conflict you introduced earlier is resolved and the characters reach their goal...or maybe they don't? Failure is also a form of resolution. Open endings are a thing. Lots of room to explore here, depending on the type of story you're going for.

Follow this formula and you end up with a complete story by force of necessity. When you think you've got the hang of it, you can start playing with the acts. Include sub-plots, multiple conflicts, false conflicts, start from resolution instead of introduction, whatever, only imagination is the limit.

>>22300198
generally speaking, I find it helps if you can define who your main character is, and how they change at the end of the story. It can be: rags to riches, tragic downfall, loses all his friends, makes new friends, enemies become friends, friends become enemies, etc. Whatever your main character is, whatever he has, whatever he wants, imagine it being the opposite at the end of the story. Then just ask yourself, what needs to happen for him to change? If he loses his friends, then he needs to do some things to lose them. If he gets rich, he needs to do something to make money. Just come up with several ideas and order them in a way that it escalates with the conflict.

it's over bros. Wrote 1392 word still have 600 to go. As part my new daily quota. How do you do it. I can't write another word. Should pull a hemingway. Is writing obscure shitty litrpg really what i want to do with my life

>>22300345
Don't stress yourself out by trying to meet a quota, anon, really it's nothing to be worried about, take your time and try to enjoy the process, if you set a quota (especially one as high as yours) then writing is eventually gonna feel like a chore and we don't want that to happen.

>>22300358
Thanks for the encouragement, but i've a long road to travel some litrpg writers somehow manage to write 10000 words a day. If i can't even grasp the bare minimal can i even make it in a competitive market that is progression fantasy. I've already wasted a decade not writing, neeting my life away.

>>22300390
>litrpg writers somehow manage to write 10000 words a day.
Why compare yourself to them? It'll do no good, you know that don't be a silly goose, anon, comparison is the thief of joy. Just write at the pace that you find comfortable and don't try to force it, if you get hit with writers block just take a break and come back to it when something pops up, no stress.

>I've already wasted a decade not writing, neeting my life away.
As I said in a different thread, it's a good thing that writing is not a young mans game, you can write until the day you die and you have the chance of becoming successful any time, it's really just dedication, persistence and luck, don't stress yourself out trying to meet some quota that ultimately doesn't matter, have fun with your writing, anon.

>>22300417
i'll take some consideration in your words, thank you

>>22298488
;_;

>>22300390
Anon, some days I barely scrape together 200 words. Writing should be a fun process, and one that you enjoy. Once it becomes work, you’ll give up.

>>22300610
>>22300610

New thread!

>>22300537
Most people here don't know or care about film or video game scripts. You might not get any responses

>>22300703
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ writing is writing

>>22300789
I’m gonna read it over, but I’ll post the critique in the other thread when I get to it

>>22300789
>>22300819
Okay, right off the bat: you need to do something different with the car tires. A car can drive on rims, and it wouldn’t make you crash immediately. Secondly, you would feel a car’s tires deflate, especially if one sides were shot at once—the car would be lopsided. KGB agents would, presumably, notice something obvious.
Another thing that feels off: wouldn’t Bond isolate himself if he started tripping out? Why go to a bar and play it cool?

I like that you’re writing a screenplay though. Cool stuff.

>>22299954
schizo
meds

>>22297717
>>22298909

I realize you guys probably don't do follow-up, but I appreciate the help.

Here's the changes.

"The idol was even better in person. It towered over the tarmac, cast looming shadows from silver branches like a great metallic tree. In vast filament networks, phosphorus vapors streamed through lungs of dark metal. Its immense cordate wings dispersed humming tones like tuning forks. A great pulsing heart of plutonium emitted ghostly blue radiation at its core, and through calcite capillaries flowed noble xenon.

I wish you were there to see it. Before we activated Icarus, there was a serene beauty to its mechanisms, how freely it arranged elementary particles to suit itself. "

Hopefully it's moved in the right direction at least. If it has, then more editing is all it needs. I'm considering changing "humming tones like tuning forks" to "humming tones through featherlike tuning forks," but that's a subtle change.