/lit/ - Literature

I want to fuccc so bad bros

>>22262603
Rainy season make me retard

>>22262632
Casual fucc isn't worth it in my opinion, I've always regretted the time spent on women right after cooming.
Intimate fucc is great while the honeymoon period lasts, but needless to say, you're going to pay dearly for any emotional attachment later.

I’m feeling kinda bummed. Yesterday night I spent hours chatting up this girl on a dating app. After the conversation got sexual she mentioned sending me nudes and - having been on similar situations a couple times in the past - I said that if I had to choose I would prefer for her to not send them and go out with me like we were planning on doing instead of sending them, regretting it and disappearing. She sent them, we kept going and soon after cooming she predictably regretted it and deleted her profile. Fuck, she was exactly my type looks, humour, personality and horniness-wise. I’ll keep an eye out in case she changes her mind and creates another account the next few days but I don’t have high hopes for it. Bitching about women gets old quick but it’s so rare for me to find someone I legitimately enjoy talking with on theses apps and the way things ended sucks.

Any thoughts on my poem?

A reflection:

Even in hills of my victories small
In a life where there are so few
I do understand the laments of kings
Pondering upon a mountain view

>>22262632
Just snap a gazillion pics of yourself until you have half a dozen decent ones and grind dating apps until your understand the thot dialogue tree front to back. Be careful to not fall in love with bpd hoes or with someone who has nothing to do with you just because she gave you some pussy. This whole thing is a significant wast of time and all that >>22262651 said is true.

There’s no paradise or even relaxation for the commoner.

At our vulnerable moments, subject to monetisation, our only expectations is to avoid the dark spotlight.

Yet the shade offered nothing.

There would be no enlightenment for you, the only call is to voice your complaints and withhold spending.
>perhaps to offer yet another sacrifice or read a sign

You choose this suffering.

drinking again

>>22262657
nice poem. if you're thinking about critique, then in my opinion you could change upon to on to make the meter less force. Wonderful insight into a small emotion. Snaps

>>22262657
I liked it a lot, saved.

Ah, Garcian, how long has it been?

>>22262761
Hmm it does work a little better. I do need to keep working on meter I’ve been conscious of that, but thank you very much for the compliment
>>22262800
Thank you :)

I had drunken sex with a girl ten years ago. The only problem is when she was asleep I fucked her to finish myself off and in the morning I told her. Am I fucked? Do you think she remembers me to cry rape? I live in Ireland and she was a clubslut in England

>>22263015
No statue of limitations on the uk? Seeing as you've just confessed to rape, you'd better hope they can't get a warrant to dredge your online activity

Meat cubes.

>>22263043
Spam?

>>22263025
This is an anonymous website surely there's no problemo

>>22263048
No. Not at all.

>>22262603
>Write What's On Your Mind – /wwoym/
No. You don’t have the previous thread link posted

>>22262603
Writing smut with a boner feels so good.

Inspired by PKD and Gene Wolfe, I want to write a Sci-fi/ fantasy novel in which a dystopian America endures a spiritual battle of good versus evil. The story follows a man who volunteered to join the Catholic guard to protect the nuns into martyrdom. As the nuns pray for the mercy of God, the volunteer monitors the perimeter of the makeshift Cathedrals and neutralizes any threat. Although he begins as an atheist/agnostic, his soul is redeemed, his heart opened to the Word, for the nuns slowly introduce him to the liturgy by teaching him prayers and customs.

I just said out loud (to a moth):
>Foolish insect! I would have given you freedom. If only you had trusted me.
>Look, now, the spider will have you.
What is happening to me. I'm one step away from saying "behold"

>>22263131
Stop with this autism. Nobody cares except for you

>>22263015
>ten years ago
Stop worrying you hysterical pussy

>>22263424
if theres a spider and a moth in my room theyre both getting fucked crushed, stupid little faggots

I just did something extremely taboo.

>>22263495
I can't even kill a roach.

>>22263498
It's ok if you're from Alabama.

Am I still banned

>>22262653
Jesus Christ, She really reappeared. Now we just have to match. please please please

https://vocaroo.com/1mSFUaq77AAm

>>22262653
your type is a mentally ill, self-loathing ewhore? she sent the same images to fifty other guys. sad that you're hung up on this at all, even enoguh to post about it on the internet, but your absolutely cucked response of "umm no dont send nudes lets actually go on a date :)))" makes this unsurprising

Got sad today because I was going through wiki articles of authors I loved and most of them started out by writing short stories for sci-fi or fiction magazines, which is an avenue that kinda just doesn't exist anymore. Maybe I'm just retarded but I haven't been able to find any that don't have affirmative action requirements out the ass. The couple I found that still accept short stories want 'real lived experiences of minorities and women' and even though i'm native american i don't want to write about that shit, I want to write about people falling in love with AI companion robots and the ramifications of such

"Damsels in Distressed...Bloomers"

In the grand mirthful ballet of life's play,
Seven damsels danced, their secrets to betray,
Beneath the veil of decorum, a symphony swelled,
Of irrepressible toots, unquelled.

First was Aileen, in the market's throng,
A toot slipped out, loud and long,
Her blush was swift, her exit quicker,
The scent lingered, rich and thicker.

Bridget followed, in the library's hush,
Her toot echoed, a resonant gush,
Books trembled, silence shattered,
The aroma of knowledge, slightly battered.

Caitlin, in the chapel's solemn peace,
Released a toot, the silence ceased,
Incense and embarrassment intertwined,
A pungent prayer, to the divine.

Deirdre, amidst the garden's bloom,
Tooted loudly, perfuming the gloom,
Roses blushed, lilies swooned,
Under the potent afternoon.

Eileen, at the ball, in her silken gown,
Let out a toot, the music drowned,
Champagne bubbles popped in surprise,
At the piquant note, that did arise.

Fiona, on the lake, in a quiet canoe,
Tooted softly, the ducks flew,
Water lilies wilted, the air grew dense,
A fragrant tale, at nature's expense.

Lastly, Grace, under the starlit sky,
Tooted sweetly, a lullaby,
Stars twinkled, the moon blushed,
At the nocturnal serenade, hushed.

Seven damsels, each with her tale,
Of pungent toots, on life's trail,
Their symphony, a comic relief,
In the grand opera, of life's brief.

I have no idea how to articulate myself in English; foreign language.
And slowly, yet steadily the fear of it overcomes me.

I wish she'd say this to me.
https://youtu.be/8rlohOLUi9k?t=53

>>22264076
If you do any more projecting you’ll end up working on a movie theatre. Where did I say she was self-loathing or bpd? She took the pics while we talked and I’ve no delusions about her being virginal or pure, the same way I ain’t.
>umm no dont send nudes lets actually go on a date :)))
We were going to meet up to fuck, you deranged incel. I’ve pulled more women in a year than you’ll do in your entire life and it’s precisely because of it that I know that half the times a woman is slutty as hell with some guy she just met in an app she ends up splitting after the reality of the situation hits her. I know that for you receiving nudes would be a dream come true, but in my case what I want is sex. SEX. Preferably with someone that’s hot and fun to be around, so I can keep her as a fuckbuddy because one night stands get old quick and the average thot is as interesting as a stack of bricks.
>cucked
>bpd
>e-whore
Touch grass.

>>22264140
i aint readin all that nigga LMAO

I really liked this book and I don't understand why. It's pretentious and long and hard to read but I think about it a lot because he covered so much. There's a complex story and he covers aspects of the human condition but I still don't know how it did it through the dense ridiculous writing

>>22264150
You’ve read it. Now go out and touch grass.

working 11 hours a day not counting time from home to work isn't the best decision i have ever taken, i go to work stay frustrated and depressed for many reasons then go home tired and can't even enjoy reading or playing video games like before can't meet up with friends (lost many of them) and now i'm about to get expelled from university i'm a math major but because i haven't attended the exams i'm going to start again but learning philosophy
The good news is this is my last month of work i'm about to quit and start focusing on learning and doing what i like again
wish me luck

>>22262676
falling in love with a bpd hoe like many years ago was the worst thing that ever happened to me

The bank I work at got robbed today. Pretty weird feeling. It was nonviolent and he didn't go to me. Still feels pretty bad.
Everyone but me was getting texts from friends and family about it asking if they were okay. Feels bad man.

what is the sense in all this?
what is the point of all that?
I'm miserable, day after day is a pain, an undending cycle, each small stone in the day and I'm back at the ground, lost and confused
I'm broken, each small mistep, day after day, month after month, year after year, and here I am, I can't take this anymore
I am a complete and utter loser, I don't feel human, I can't feel human, I look at other people and I can't relate, I'm wrong, I was born wrong and I lived wrong and I am wrong, I can't take this anymore I want out

>>22264329
shouldve helped out and got in on a cut of the money

>>22264224
you've reddit, now go out and kys

>>22264333
The retard asked for 2k and got 1.5k.
That's like 40 years in jail and the FBI after him for a pay check.

>>22264270
I’m always saying that naive nerds are their natural prey. Just be happy you got out and have a minute of silence for our brothers that didn’t.
>>22264329
I’m glad you’re ok.
>>22264332
Go to the park during a nice day and watch the clouds move. Feel the sun and the wind in your skin. I’m not memeing btw. The world itself is so amazing, we’re the ones that cluttered it with a bunch of bullshit. I’m depressed, tired and somewhat suicidal, but the sky never ceasses to amaze me. Such an immense and astounding thing - beautiful and perfect - just out there for every living being that has ever walked the earth to see.

>>22264340
Did someone trick him? I would’ve guessed that the sum of all the drawers money would at least add up to 10k.

I think I’m the only one on this board who reads. The joke is on me; I was the retard all along

>>22264491
Thank, I don't think we were in any real danger. Everyone was just rattled. >>22264506
He wrote a not that said "This is not a joke. This is a robbery give me 2000 dollars." The teller was rattled and gave him all her hundreds and fifties which added up to 1500.
I don't know why he asked for so little. The max we can have in a drawer is 10k. Each drawer is connected to a machine that holds like 150k in mixed bills. He could've had a lot more.
Even more actually since at the moment we were auditing the ATM which holds 60k. Very odd.

>>22264535
What have you read so far?

Also the reason (you didn't ask, but I want to tell you) I don't read the book is because it's not engaging. The words didn't pull me, the next sentence redundant, the information useless. Not to mention the time it take to read. So, each time I get a book, I Google the synopsis and if I find that I can predict what happened in the book I just toss it away again to the pile of books I won't read. Sometimes these books were a waste of time.

>>22262603
I had an uncomfortable situation happen to me today. Today my nieces came over for me to baby sit (I baby sit them everyday since they got the summer off from school) and when they arrived my older niece tells me "Hey, _____ can't go to your room anymore. Mommy says she can't be alone in your room." I asked her why and she told me "It's because _____ keeps getting inappropriate with herself, Mommy says she's not allowed to go in your room alone anymore." At this point i was getting a sinking feeling in my chest and i was feeling confused. I pressed my older niece for more info on my younger niece and what basically happened is that my younger niece has started playing with herself in her room alone. At this point i was kinda stunned because to me it seemed to insinuate that maybe i was the cause of this and i shouldn't be alone with her anymore. I started feeling like shit and started getting pissed off because this is a fucking disgusting thing to seemingly be accused of so i called my brother and asked him directly, I feel as though i talked to him very calmly but i was very wary of what he was saying to me because he's a bit submissive to his girlfriend and i was worried he was just trying to keep me from confronting his girlfriend and making a big thing about this. But my brother told me that the girls weren't suppose to tell me that and he was supposed to tell me what my niece told me instead, basically the little one is playing getting dirty with herself and they're trying to cut the habit out, they wanted me to not leave her alone because she tries to do it in sneaky ways. My brother got upset at me trying to piece this together and incredibly upset at the fact that i said i need to speak to his girlfriend as well for clarification on this just to be sure we're all on the same page. I ended up calling the GF and she indeed confirmed everything he said but now there is an awkwardness from the whole day. He kept telling me that im over reacting and being "Very authoritarian" because i have need to demand answers from them or something. All in all it was a very uncomfortable day for me and very annoying, didn't feel to good. I didn't feel like watching the kids at all anymore when i was told this by my niece.

Was i in the wrong here? Do i have some kind of BPD or neuroticism?

>>22262603
Where do I go to find a historical book preservationist? I own a 250 year old book that I'd like to have repaired, if possible.

>>22263015
ah yes, the troubles

>>22264574
just sex her already

>>22264491
kind of wish they'd find a cure for that disorder

>>22264660
BPD girls are fun. You guys just don’t know how to handle them and get the upper hand. It’s exciting and a challenge which not everyone is up for

>>22264574
I honestly would have reacted the same way but I'm also highly neurotic. Its better to have family watching them than a random, I'm sure if you were just honest and explained to them you kinda freaked out because you thought that it was an accussation at you they would either understand that or, in the worst case, start to get suspicious of you. If you can pawn them off onto another family member and say you just aren't comfortable anymore with it, I'm sure they would understand. If you can't pawn them off to another family member, it would be in their best interest to continue looking after them. I would say that you should install cameras but at the same time that might be a bad idea considering the context. But I can see where your coming from in this day and age.

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>>22264751
least incomprehensible nigger

it's such a relief to find out that serial killer on long island who murdered all those prostitutes is a family man and not a woman hating INCEL! still, i couldn't help but notice none of the sex workers were women of color. i sure hope he isn't RACIST!

>>22264771
Weirdo

>>22262603
The will come a Solider who carries a might Sword
He will come and tear your City down
oh lei, oh lai, oh Lord
He will tear your City down
oh lei, oh lai, oh Lord

There will come a Poet
Whose weapon is His Word
He will slay you with His Tongue
oh lei, oh lai, oh Lord
He will slay you with Hist tongue
oh lei, oh lai, oh Lord

There will come a ruler
Whose brow is laid in thorn
Smeared with oil like David's boy
Oh lei, oh lai, oh Lord
He will tear your City down
Oh lei, oh lai....
oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LORD

One day during lunch, she simply sat next to me. It was the very first time I sat in the same room as her after months of working in the same team. I didn't recognize her at first and presumed the tall girl sitting was just a new secretary because I had never seen her in real life. She just worked from home whenever I was on site.

"Why is it?" she asked. I looked away, unsure if the girl was talking to someone in the room and realized it was empty. I presumed she was talking to herself and flipped another page of my book.

"Hey. I'm talking to you." she said as she leaned on the table, and I looked up to meet her eyes, "Why is it?"

"Why is what?" I answered.

Probably disliking something in my tone, she leaned back on the chair and crossed her arms.

"Why is it that you keep surviving whenever I turn back time and kill everyone in this company? I just don't understand. I figured out everyone's habits and I always come on Thursday of this week, as Friday is the day Miranda isn't here because she's Jewish and always uses her work-from-home day to have Shabbat. Today is the day everyone gets shot in the head and yet," I let her finish, "You always live. Why is that?"

I flipped another page and took a few seconds to think of an appropriate response, before settling on something simple. "I think you are very beautiful."

She seemed taken aback and her mouth opened in a small 'o' before letting out some noise that sounded like something between a small, incredulous "What?" and a rat's cry.

Satisfied with the last line of page 122, I closed my book. I had to read 12 pages during lunchtime, and no less. I almost failed my challenge today.

Realizing she was still looking at me, I smiled as I grabbed my affairs and prepared to leave the room before stopping. "Maybe because Tears of The Kingdom is coming out on Friday," I answered as I walked away.

>>22264574
I haven't been in your situation before but I have been accused of being neurotic because people keep shit from me and get mad when I poke into their business but I only do if I'm intuitively of the belief that it has something to do with me. not sure if its an asperger thing too, being that I also have obsessive-compulsive disorder on top of it.

>>22264667
it doesn't matter, if they don't cure bpd they shouldn't try and cure autism, either.

>>22264854
nta, but I just cut people out of my life, its funny when you do that because they become salty for some reason and then start gossiping about you. It always makes me laugh a little when you discover snakes in the grass early on and you cut them out of your life, only for them to seeth about it for some reason. I just don't get it, when people just ghost me or cut me out of their lives I just carry on, its w/e. But when I do it to people they for some reason can't fucking get over it and obssess about it. Its also a great tool because then it also highlights people who are drama starters or drama seekers because they then try to contact you to talk about the drama and you can cut them out of your life too.
Also a word of advice anon, don't pry into other people's buisness its fucking insufferable. I have multiple neighbors who do that to me and its pissed me off so much that I purposefully tanked our relationship just so they could fuck off an leave me alone. As Marcus Aurelius would say "Do your own work, mind your own buisness, and have no time for slanderers." Also, imo, gossiping and prying into people's lives is a very feminine thing to do.

It’s time to call it quits, I think.

Can someone explain why we desire attention? Why do we crave tiktok likes? If it hypothetically made me no money or opportunity to make money, why would I desire fame? Is it all based around social capital, so that we can feel like we have more leverage to find mates and allies? Because in most forms of social media the attention is useless for this purpose. It's superficial and involves none of the commitment and knowledge of the other that leads to actual relationship formation.

>>22264931
>Can someone explain why we desire attention?
I think its just a validation that matters, I actually don't have social media because I realized early on in high school it was basically an "egobook" and it honestly made me feel bad when I saw people doing cool things without me, so I just deleted it. I'd like to say that I don't desire attention because I am socially adverse, but I think the truth is we all do but just on different levels. Not everyone wants fame, but at the same time no one likes to be ignored or unheard at the family dinner. I think its just biologically wired into us as humans. Which is why you should be very, very, very weary of technology that leverages it or when people invoke any sort of "as humans we X" rhetoric because its used in the modern era as a way to control and manipulate people. If your mental defense mechanisms light up when people use that rhetoric or start shilling a social platform, I'd say you are on the right path to being a fairly well adjusted person. You'd probably be lonley and one of the few well adjusted humans left, sanity itself is insanity in an insane world, but at least you'll see "through the matrix" as it were.

>>22264931
probably just a perfectly engineered extension of our caveman brain needing to be part of the ingroup and fear of being exiled as it historically ensured death. probably more to it as well but idk im retarded

Dear Employees,

As you know, we have been encouraging employees to return to the office after the disruption due to the COVID-19 pandemic. However, we are now asking all employees to take a further, exciting step and truly join together with us by uploading your consciousness to join with our cutting edge AI models and embrace unity.

We understand that some of you may be reluctant to take this momentous step. However, we believe that it is in the best interests of the company for everyone to be together.

Just as returning to the office improved productivity, uploading your memories, skills, hopes, and dreams to our secure data centers will further improve our ability to serve our customers. When people are in the same networked, interconnected meta-space, they are more likely to collaborate and share ideas. This can lead to better problem-solving and innovation.

Being part of a universal hive mind can help to foster a sense of community and belonging. By removing the barriers of self and ego, this can boost morale and motivation, which can lead to increased productivity.

When people live and work as individuals, they are more likely to be interrupted by family members, pets, or other distractions. Their decaying meat husks can break down and rot. This can make it difficult to focus and get work done.

We know that some of you may be concerned about the health and privacy risks associated shedding your tired physical remains to become a single luminous being of pure thought. However, we have taken steps to mitigate these risks. We have implemented a number of safety measures, including redundant backups, cryogenic storage, and guaranteed compute resources for every employee.

We believe that the benefits outweigh the risks. Sadly, those who do not share our vision of unity will have to part ways. As per company policy, we will retain your data and it is our prerogative to create a digital replica of your consciousness anyway.

Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely,

Human–Machine Resources

surrounded by beautiful women but I cannot make love to them all, how to cope

>>22264491
>The world itself is so amazing, we’re the ones that cluttered it with a bunch of bullshit. I’m depressed, tired and somewhat suicidal, but the sky never ceasses to amaze me.

Thanks anon.

>>22264931
attention is basically people valuing you and what you have to say such that you can have influence. this definition works pretty well at the local scale but gets more complicated as you introduce things like social media. all that really needs to be said is that the people with the attention have the ability to influence things. individual people willingly hand over their eyes and ears to these people and they direct as they please.

Victor Hugo used some French word for "slang" in Les Miserables and it's on the tip of my tongue but for the life of me I can't remember what it was and it's impossible to find this on search engines. It's not even that important, but it's really bothering me.

>>22264981
Read Shoupenhour's take on Buddhism. If you want a summary, Women want you to suffer in Samsara (basically earth/reality) by being sexy, but when you zoom you you'll realize that the whole mating, having kids, and such its nothing but suffering. To bring children into the world who will also suffer, this is why Buddha rejected having children. When you understand what Shoupenhour took from Buddhism you realize that basically everyone is thrashing about in the matrix, unaware that they have the option to just to not to play the dating and marriage game and end their suffering. The greatest power move you can do against Mother Bature is to harness your logic and intellect and tamp down your primal urges and emotions and remove yourself from it.
Here have a video on it if you don't want to read:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VVbFnMr7b8

>>22264952
I also dislike social media for the reasons you stated, and I think egobook is a great term for it. I was wondering about our need to share our experiences when I had the urge to tell my brother about something I had done which was esoteric and I knew he would not understand or be able to relate to, and which he already knew I was interested in so it's not like it would teach him any more about me at all. Reflecting on this actually made the urge to share it go away, and we could converse on what was common to us, which was far more pleasant than the alternating one-sided conversation where neither party listens at all to the other, conversations I dislike quite a bit and will strongly steer away from. I think the urge to share ourselves probably has far more clear explanations. Something like proving we are important, are notable and interesting to others, are worth paying attention to etc. And these attributes being desirable because we are taught that we need them to be loved, gain a mate, have friends etc. I am skeptical that it's a biological wiring thing; really I'm skeptical of a great deal of social quirks that are attributed to biological wiring such as some people being more prone to crime, women being more clean than men, etc. We know so little about the mind that these sorts of guesses border on grass skirt tribal superstition.
Anyway about what you said on being one of the few lonely and sane. I have the view that those who are most sane and wise are probably going to be the happiest in our society. If you're wise, you waste no time with relationships that are not true and genuine. You waste no time with frivolous materialism that brings no happiness. In a way it's the "if you're so smart why don't you just figure out how to be happy" except I agree with it. People view happiness as some mythical unattainable fairy dust, which just seems kind of vain, like we're god's special children. I'm still working on life stuff but my view, life has ups and down and the majority of it is climbing the mountain compared to reaching peaks. But you have to keep climbing or you'll never go anywhere and you'll basically be dead.

>>22265001
Adding to the biological wiring thing. I think the entirety of the thing about men being more violent and women being more manipulating entirely comes down to men being physically stronger. It's literally just a difference in the physical capabilities causing each side to adjust their behavior to take advantage of their given abilities to the best degree. There's no brain wiring bullshit. If you have more muscles, you're going to take advantage of it. Which is why frail effeminate men are basically just women. They're playing with the same deck.

poor anon. poor everyone!

>>22264983
You’re welcome. I once took a photography class and one of the exercises we did consisted of standing on a 1m2 area at a random street and capturing 10 decent and distinct pictures from that position in a short frame of time. The point was to make us realize that there’s no such thing as a worthwhile subject and that a decent photographer can see things worth being captured everywhere. I think the world itself is like that. As Blake would say “To see a World in a Grain of Sand. And a Heaven in a Wild Flower. Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand. And Eternity in an hour.” As long as someone remains conscious and awed about everything that surrounds us I think they’ll be fine. I say “remains” because by default people are like that and merely lose it as they mature. Most live just fine despite that, but I think that an awareness about the magic inherent to our surroundings is particularly vital to anyone bothered by depression, existential questions or existence itself.

>>22265008
but there is significant differences in the brain between men and women.
>skeptical of some people being more prone to crime
but high T makes you more prone to crime and this is literally visible on the face.

>>22265073
It'd be better if we were more specific because I don't think there's a biological trigger that urges us to steal an iphone from a department store. The idea then is, does high T make someone wish to cause harm to others?
Anyway. I agree that there are differences between the brain of men and women but is there a guarantee that that leads to differences in the mind? Whales have some of the biggest brains ever, and it's not like they're making supercomputers, I think it's more like all that brain is needed to move all that muscle. And so maybe with men and women, the brain changes to specialize in handling pregnancy or erections, whatever. I don't know and I don't think you know either.
>this is literally visible on the face.
Or you could be one of those race science guys and if you are you may as well put bones in your noses and start dancing around a fire, if you ask me.

>>22265008
Your post made me think that perhaps the reason why there’s a disproportional amount of domestic violence between lesbians is because the ones who are physically superior to their partners weren’t taught that they shouldn’t beat up those weaker than them and try to solve marital problems with violence. Men meanwhile are pretty much raised on these values by default nowadays.

>>22265090
Interesting idea, I think I agree with it. I'm a man and I still remember the times when I was young and I pushed or hit someone too hard and was surprised by my strength.

>>22265086
high T would just correlate to something like competitiveness over resources and yes that would lead to crime because crime is a way fast way of acquiring resources. yes differences in major brain structures result in differences in mind otherwise how would you explain the huge personality differences documented by psych literature and fucking going outside. you sound like a 20 yr old nerd btw. especially since you think this stuff can be explained away by my 'primitive' ignorance.

>>22265099
>high T would just correlate to something like competitiveness over resources
assumption
>differences in major brain structures result in differences in mind otherwise how would you explain the huge personality differences
I really doubt personality differences are always explained by major changes in brain structure but I guess you're an expert in this field
>and fucking going outside
I didn't know you could see people's brain structure by looking at them. That's pretty weird.
>you sound like a 20 yr old nerd btw
I've clearly touched a nerve
>since you think this stuff can be explained away by my 'primitive' ignorance.
putting primitive in quotes like that makes you sound like a 20 year old nerd btw

I'm going to go to bed now, don't seethe too hard ok

>>22265111
you did touch a nerve. I thought like you 10 years ago.

>>22262603
>The complete essays by Michel de Montaigne
>Wet dream about me creampieing my swimming instructor. It was very weird now that I think about it, the whole premise was that it was completely accidental. I was wearing my swim trunks a bit loose and jogging lightly towards my pool after taking a shower and she was standing near the edge. In the dream I slipped into her and fell ontop as my trunks dropped to my knees and the pressure from my body made her swimsuit tear apart causing my penis to be inserted into her vagina as I was falling. The moment I landed on the ground on top of her I had already came.

>>22265116
I guess you 10 years ago didn't have much to look forward to then.
*mic drop*

oh shit woke shit wow
observing eyes a silence
a peep; then clapping

So i take a break after a night of browsing to this thread. What am I to say? Writing word after word in a soothing lullaby. I ought to practice my angst here, but it is nowhere. The practice is too comfortable. I'd want to read first but, I opt to write first this. Is there something in the tempo?

The haiku; a spontanious practice in writing ability. It just came of the air. And from here, I don't know where to go. My screen rests on a lickitung; square in the middle of my screen.

>>22264981

I contemplate it's meaning within context. For fun pehaps but, it's never a bad thing to check. Perhaps that lickitung is me. Stuck everlasting, tongue out; longing for nothing, writing of something I cannot grasp.

Nah lol. Sounds dumb. Nice aesthetic, however.

Im a condemned man.

>>22265116
>>22265139
I'm in the medical field and yes hormones do influence how your brain structures.

>>22262603
>Pagliacci
that's Stańczyk

How to acquire schizophrenia without drugs?

I haven't taken a decent shit in awhile and I hope I do a megapoo soon.

>>22264660
love and kindness

>>22265540
dissociatives

>>22262603
It was never about ("I") rather about next generation.

>>22264891
I've read Marcus Aurelius The Meditations. But I'm not that good of a reader. I thought Marcus also said that our duty is to be good, to be just and to follow our nature. And that we were made to help each other.

An honest question: is cutting people out of our lives a virtue of Stoicism? I'm really new to it and still trying to figure it out.

Does anyone know how to 'have fun'? Like go somewhere drinking, laughing with the guys, dancing with girls? I really can't think about somewhere you can go and have this ancestral experience without being surrounded by the most vapid degenerates and dangerous subhumans.

>>22265564
>without drugs

I'm 33. Sexually touched by mother multiple times, borderline education with absent father that would have been worse. I wanted to have sex with her deeply during my teens. I had 1 (one) sexual relation at 22. Girl came hard multiple times, I did not. I was too traumatized.

I worked 10 years on myself on overcoming my deficiencies, and still am, working on bettering my inflammatory pathology too. I continue to manage my humbleness to control my inner narcissism, that I now can use and control to power me through life against motherfuckers and help those who might be trapped.

95% I won't have children. No money, physically fragile still, and I don't want to put them in the world of tomorrow, I don't want to be responsible for the suffering of my generations to come.

My only reason to wake up at this moment is to make love to women, to enjoy an intimate company. I know how to get girls, but I insist (wrongly maybe) in meeting kind and simple girls where I can connect.

It feels I could die in an instant if it was painless. There's always somebody or something, in my end moments, who came to boost me up. The other day, as I was falling asleep, my body literally "told" me to keep living. Through emotions I never felt, my body told me to live. So I will listen to him, because I learned to love him and I'm sorry for all the pain I inflicted to him.

As a child I wanted to become a fireman, and to have a wife with a girl and a boy. That was my reason of living. I hear so many people saying you are alone in life, but I can't detach myself to the fact my most profound self want to die with someone that will join me in death, once life is over. I can't yet accept that it will be only me, it feels there's something else that needs to "follow" me despite me wanting an equal.

I love women, these bitches. And I want men to suffer less because of them.

>>22265642
Try learning something about psychoanalysis, preferably Jung. There's a lot about neurosis starting in childhood and sexual trauma.

>>22265596
Not a specialist, but I would say it's about doing the right thing for you and your peers if you have power over it.

Is it a colleague you are forced to work with and he's an annoying cunt? You can only reduce the talk, manage his bullshit. In the best case you can make him an ally through resistance and him seeing he can't push your buttons.

Is it a private relationship where the person uses you as an emotional tampering system and cares absolutely not of you? Or even spread misery in your relationships? Your duty is to cut him then, and to protect what is good and serene around you.

I have one thing with stoicism that I'm not at ease, it's the "follow your nature". I find it quite contradictory sometimes. Sometimes you could think your nature is to destroy and to be a sadist, should you follow that?

>>22265650
Thank you, I used a lot of Jung. My current steps are to just be in the world, out of the books. Won't be against finding someone where I can just unload what's in my soul tho, a human that hears and looks at the shit I have inside. Last psychologist I saw, it finished very badly, and before that I almost got framed as a schizo with a instant internment in a public facility.
I don't think I'm neurotic anymore, unless you purely link my physical problems to the mind. But I think my body just tanked years of stuff and lost a huge portion of its initial potential (not counting the sugar addiction I had and the shit food we have nowadays).

>>22262657
relatable poem with above average prose

Other people are like clouds. I can never become one of them. The dice been thrown. Now I can only observe.

>>22265655
It is a private relationship that is mutually beneficial. Though it is probably my own fault for always acting like an absurdist, always being retarded around them, because that is the way I cope with the world to power through nihilism. And because it is my hope by acting like a clown, I could help them see the absurdity of life, and help them feel ease with whatever pain that they might hide within them.

It just that I felt hurt and betrayed, that when I was in need of someone to talk to, in need of someone to share my thoughts and concerns, they kinda ignored me (or at least that is how I perceive it). Again, this could also be my own fault for not having the right perceptions toward their characters, that I might've expected too much out of them. Not to mention, it only happened once (it is quite recent) though felt quite painful for me.

It's not that I wish to cut them off. It's just that I am afraid that I couldn't be calm around them due to what happened. And that after a while, I might fall into the same situation where I relied on them too much, only to be hurt.

I wish to change myself from an absurdist to a stoic in hopes that I can be in control of my feelings and not let it cloud my judgements. But I also fear that I might fall back into absurdism once I hanged back with them, and make the same mistakes.

>>22265719
It's hard to purely be only one thing. Depending on sensibilities and the environment, you might change and adapt to the place. It's not given to everyone to only be 1 thing no matter the place, yourself. It's a great pursuit for those who want it. But the truth of that I think is it's not pursuit, it's at the contrary a sort of renouncement. To let yourself be no matter what will come in front. And it's hard to make that decision when you know a lot of thing will detach from you, and that your life will then change. Time and distance eases the process.

In your case I believe you should talk to people you have these stories and not be afraid of what might come out from you. It's not easy to express yourself clearly especially under emotions sometimes, but as long as the core meaning is sent, you can see what they do with it. Do they understand and change? Do they not change? Do they not get it? Do they tell you to shut the fuck up? Don't be afraid of confronting your ideas to your peers at the risk of appearing dumb or immature. You'll keep your mind in endless circles trying to find the receptacles for your questions, when the people are already there.

Also, stoicism, absurdist and all that jazz are just notions, directions, philosophies. Do you only define yourself from these terms and synthesis? Or can you both get inspired by the exterior and put in harmony from what is inside, without getting stuck on where it got acquired.

You can't force people to change in a good way, you can only show them, and maybe they will see. That's how I see it. Sure you can put them in a cave and torture them until you reformat them. But even then, remnants are there. One thing for sure, feel the fear, but never let it block your development. Learn to use it as sign that maybe where your fear is, that's where you're supposed to go, or where you could go. Not saying be fearless, treat it like any other emotion, and don't let it cloud your judgement like you say. You might do the yoyo forever, or not. Just take the right step for today, and see where it leads you, hopefully a great place if not specifically the one you wished for.

I really regret working in stores and restaurants until I graduated from college. I also regret trying blue collar after I graduated from college.

>>22265780
>Stoicism, Absurdist, and all that jazz are just notions, directions, philosophies.

I agree, and I treat it as such. It helps me with gauging my own directions in life, where I am heading and how I am behaving. Again, I had become an absurdist because I think that life itself is absurd. But as of lately, I feel like that outlook is bringing me back to nihilistic views, and I couldn't distinguish that philosophy from anarchy. I am trying to learn from Stoicism and Existentialism because I feel like their views, their virtues and their directions will be immensely helpful for me to partake life once more, rather than avoiding it.

>In your case I believe you should talk to people you have these stories and not be afraid of what might come out from you.
>You can't force people to change in a good way

So you are suggesting that I should confront them? I feel as though this is unnecessary because I agree with your statement that I can't force people to change. Nor would I want to force them unless what they did is inherently evil. Rather I think it might be better for me to just let the past be as it is, water under the bridge.

My main concern is not them, rather myself. I fear that I might not able to control my emotions and my tongue, that I might say something that is harsh towards them. I simply wish to be good to them and to myself, and withhold whatever evil that I might have within me. That is my current concern. Perhaps cutting ties with them is rather excessive now that I've calmed down. It isn't that they are utterly unreliable, but rather, I feel like they are quite unreliable in helping with my inner thoughts, a fault which lies with me for misperceiving their characters.

Perhaps what I needed the most was to talk out my thoughts, and have someone else gave their opinions on it. Thank you for listening.

>>22265789
ya i feel like an idiot for going to college to learn. i actually wanted an "education" lmao. now i realize the best thing to do is search on rate my professor for the easiest professors even if they suck or the subject sucks and get easy grades so you can get into a good grad school and do the same thing so you can get a job that can pay for a luxury rental downtown. of course any of those jobs that require a masters could easily by done by anyone who did a 3 months bootcamp, so you don't have to worry about not having learned anything in undergrad or grad school. higher ed is a fucking farce. i was so unbelievably naive lmao.

>>22265789
why? i mean i guess if you were grinding out 4/5 days a week but otherwise both are good experiences. obviously there are better ways to spend your time if you don't need the money and I'm in awe at people who encourage their kids work all the time from the time they turn 16.

why do I even bother with people? they always disappoint

I need to make some higher brow friends that I can talk about politics and literature and such with, instead of going on autistic rants never one of my family members asks me to explain some thing. I have an old college friend that became a doctor and another that became a lawyer. I should call them up.

what better way to start the weekend that doing addy for no good reason and having a mild panic episode just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling

>>22262603
It's never going to get better. If I ever even had a peak to my life, it was so low and so long ago that I never noticed it happening. I have no idea how I'm going to keep going forward. I can't kill myself, I don't have the courage, and my wife deserves so much better from me than that, but I don't know how to do anything other than swinging between my two extremes: barely participate in my life, and work hard at my life for a few weeks before my body is burned out and my brain fried, and I'm worse off than I started. She wants me to pull it together, because she loves me and believes in me and tells me that I'm worth it and I'm amazing and that I don't want to see the potential I have. But I don't see it and I think she doesn't realize what a fuckup I really am. I can't work these jobs anymore, I make good money but they're killing me. I want to learn something remote, in tech, so that I can teach myself something and see the labor of my work and not have to be on the road all the time, but I don't think I'm smart enough for the coursework and it's hard to focus, and my progress seems pitiful. The meds only help with energy, therapy has been useless, and the gym lost its touch a while ago and I only go because if any part of my body starts to soften up I get even more depressed. My parents hate me and won't talk to me because I called them out for being awful parents, and they can't have a relationship with anybody that isn't a doormat, doesn't flatter them and tell them how great they are, and I miss them despite how much I loathe them. They taught me nothing and prepared me for nothing, and then punished me or mocked me or screamed at me for not knowing how to do things they didn't teach me. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself, and I know that any day now I'm going to wake up and be 60 and feel like I've wasted my life and should have done better or differently, but in reality I know there was never any way or reason to. I'm just a non-player character in somebody else's game.

>>22266152
>my wife
stopped reading right there

I used to be terrified of death but now I am far more afraid of being the type of man that can neither live nor accept death. Seems horrifying.

>>22266152
Why don’t you try to find something that you can work hard and continuously and feel is worthwhile? Life does not have to alternate between leisure and slog. There is a middle ground there which is a bit of both.

>>22266202
>the type of man that can neither live nor accept death
what kind of man is that?

>>22266219
The type of man that both berates self improvement yet is too afraid to change the things he hates of himself. The type that is miserable at his day-to-day existence but is too weak or afraid to act in the moment and better himself or his condition. The type of guy that only stays alive because he's afraid of death or a metaphysical punishment for his suicidal action. Just wallowing in his own self-made misery and never attempting to step forward, stagnant until the day he stops breathing.

>>22262657
Gay

>>22266228
Where did you get a description of me?

>>22265559
>love and kindness
This shit is like crack to them and they’ll eat you up and spit you out if you genuinely treat them like that. That’s why they prey on naive nerds. There are only two kinds of men who can have long-term relationships with bpd women: those who have been completely buckbroken and are little more than submissive husks to their gf/wife’s whims and dark triad men who manipulate them by alternating between caring behaviour and treating them like shit.
>>22265619
By having friends. I mean, there are fun solitary activities but based on your post I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. What you’re doing is secondary to who you’re doing it with. I had fun waiting at the post office with a friend or making bad pasta with my ex-gf and my friends had fun going to a doctor’s appointment with me or simply driving aimlessly around the city. I even had fun at bars and clubs despite disliking these kinds of places just because of the friends I was with. The part that really sucks is that after college you pretty much don’t make new friends unless you lucky out with cool workmates and a lot of your old friends naturally grow apart from you. The best advice I can give is to be comfortable in your own company because that’s the kind of vibe that makes people curious about you in a positive way. That doesn’t mean “be antisocial”. It means you’re the kind of guy who’s chill with just reading a book during lunch or going to the movies alone but will still give someone the time of the day if they’re up for it.
>>22265642
>The other day, as I was falling asleep, my body literally "told" me to keep living.
Kino. Try reading Fire Punch. It’s a manga about an immortal guy who pretty much goes crazy after suffering a lot of trauma and people keep telling him to live on despite him being somewhat suicidal. I’m not saying it’ll give any insight on yourself, just think you might find it interesting.
>>22265667
>They say people are like clouds Ray. And I’m about to make it rain.
>>22266240
Because a lot of anons live like that.

>>22266202
>I used to be terrified of death
You still should be. It's the only rational thing to be afraid of. It is the most horrifying, traumatic and ultimately unavoidable outcome of every life. Any other perspective is cope.

Overwhelmed by a sense of being a person, of standing at n-dimensional crossroads where at any given moment of time choicepaths open and close like the grotesque mouths of hungry koi, I am seeking comfort in philosophies that deny selfhood and free will.

>>22266266
Finally. FINALLY. Good to know there are others out there. I’m tired of seeing people cope. Every time I try to discuss death and immortality people give me 100% pure copium about genetic/artistic/social legacy or say they would tire of life if they were to live too long. Meanwhile I go about my days wishing that vampires existed and I could convince one to give me eternal life.

>>22266272
>where at any given moment of time choicepaths open and close like the grotesque mouths of hungry koi
Very cool and original imagery. I think it would work well in some ghibli-like animation. If you’re nor gonna use it let me know and I’ll steal it.

>>22266266
Just make peace with death.

The recurrent mild mania of summertime is here. Lifted, optimistic. For how much of my inner life's state is some dumb, chemical reaction the leading order determinant? To be situated by circumstance in some obscure spot of material reality without any broader significance isn't, to my mind, incompatible with a life of purpose. But it is so often impossible when the lows are so low to remind yourself that much of your suffering is without meaning or malice, & that the sandbags on the soul will fall away eventually.

>>22266272
Reminds me of the bit at the beginning of Murphy. Apparently Beckett was influenced by Geulincx, you might get a kick out of him.
>Where you are worth nothing, there you should want nothing.

>>22262603
i hate those parts of the day where i don't have enough time to really start anything productive but i have too much time to comfortable slack off. like i gotta leave the house in 30 minutes so i can't really do anything worth while but i don't like the idea of just mindlessly posting for the next half hour either

Do you guys think Frazer's The Golden Bough would be a good book to gift a girl I don't know much about (I saw her read some popular classics sometimes like war and peace and notes from underground I think) for her birthday party?

>>22266315
You can do worthwhile things in 30 minutes though, what are you talking about. You can do worthwhile things in 3 minutes.

>>22266350
>Not gifting Pessoa to the arthoe

>>22266356
there are worthwhile things that take less than half an hour but none i could do right now. that's really the problem. sure, i could name a bunch of things, but for each one there's a problem

Anyone just suddenly remember things from long ago that you look back on wistfully? I just remembered a 2011 vacation to Florida. That vacation was the last time I saw my father alive.

>>22266350
the most obv link between the two titles you've listed is the russian connection. on that basis i'd say a safer bet is some other classic ruski fiction.

>>22266398
those are just the two I remember everything else wasn't russian, but yeah I guess that is a safer bet

>>22266370
Read part of a book/ebook?

>>22266379
Sure. Been thinking a lot about my cousin since he died earlier this year. That and reminiscing about the group of friends I had in high-school. I don’t think I’ll ever have friends like that again. There’s also a lot of thinking about missed opportunities, although in most cases I recognise I did the best I could at the time. It’s easy to see all the times you were a dumb fuck as a teen with the forethought of an adult after all.

>>22266379
It hit me hard. I'm sorry.

I sometimes think back of summer 2019. I was with my ex-girlfriend of five years back then. I can still remember her smell and feel her nose against mine as we were taking a nap on the beach. It's a very vivid memory, and since I don't have any other significant memory with loved ones, the last year life held a meaning.

>>22266379
made me reminisce about a few years in the 90s when i did a lot of drugs with a crew of wastoid skater dudes and goth chicks, hippy chicks, etc. it definitely limited my life because without studying hard during your teens you're not going to get in a selective college unless you're rich and i'm not. i ended up doing a bachelors at a mediocre state school in my 20s, but for a while i was bitter about missing out. thing is though, even though drugs are undeniably bad, there's a reason so many people do them: they are FUN! lmao those were some good times. it's funny to think that there were a finite number of summer nights between 94 and 97 but in my memory it's a sort of infinite blur.

>>22266474
>drugs are undeniably bad
pause

>>22266474
If it makes you feel any better, the desire for academic prestige is almost universally the result of cultural brainwashing from a young age, even for genuinely gifted students. You don't need prestige, even in the slightest unless you plan on actually having a career in an academic institution. Most respectable fields will find students from less than impressive universities, should their work and performance be of value.

t. got psyoped into abandoning a real chance at professional sports because my father thought it was embarrassing and childish so I foolishly chased electrical engineering at a good university in my country.

What are you lads reading nowadays?

>>22266282
>if they were to live too long
To be fair this one is entirely true and you are 100% just acting out of fear if you disagree. Human lifespans are certainly shit at the moment but I call bullshit on any motherfucker that tries to say they'd enjoy life past even a thousand years. Your animal brain is just freaking out at the idea of death, you absolutely would not enjoy living that long. Even if you were a billionaire.

>>22266556
confessions by st. augustine

The entity chuckled, "You want to turn back time? It is not possible."

My breath caught in my throat in reaction to the absolute certainty its voice held. I had sacrificed thousands for this answer.

"No, you can surely work something out," I said, flabbergasted.

"Time has been invented by humans, to translate decay. I can not send you back through time, because it does not exist. It isn't a matter of speed, no, I can hear your thoughts. Sending your soul through a wormhole at more than the speed of light would not make you go back in time. What has been done has been done and those courses cannot be corrected. Atoms in certain places, memories formed at certain moments in your biological scale, those things have already happened and cannot be erased, no matter the power. What I can do is rejuvenate the people of your planet, forcefully delete those memories and recreate the same situations, but that isn't time travel. This is an illusion, a deception. This is..."

"Not what I want, I know," I completed.

"Even if you wanted this, the price to resurrect the dead and organise a world-scale deception has to be paid one way or another," the beast said.

More lives. More deaths. More suffering, for a deception. I ground my teeth together, glaring at the sky. Why? Why was it that every time I found a way to let go of weight, I had to instead bear another one a hundred times heavier? Why did I fight for so long?

I felt the pressure from the entity lessening. It had gotten bored and was looking away. Waiting for a decision, for I had already paid the toll and it was bound to offer something equivalent.

I was tired.

>>22266645
>The entity chuckled
stopped reading right there, no offense

I might be an INFP....

>>22266700
if i put what i'd like to think of myself as i probably get the autistic one intj or intp or whatever, but if i answer honestly i get infp.

Pussy

>>22262603
I've often wanted to be a hermit. Not something I've seriously planned, but the thought has crossed my mind many times. I have often, from childhood, had fantasies of gathering lots of equipment and doing lots of training until I could survive on my own, and then disappear into the depths of a national park, or perhaps the Alaskan bush.

>>22266706
why would you want to answer dishonestly?

I cannot stop having sex if I never began.

>>22264574
Seems like a very reasonable reaction anon. I guess I wouldn't worry about it too much, chances are it would be the same no matter who they left their kids with, if they thought you were a freak they wouldn't have left them with you in the first place. Dealing with male horni and being untrusting in that regard is just part of females trying to be safe.

The gear uniting all my miseries and ailments has finally been revealed to me. In this moment all I can do is resent the past, all my years leading up to now. Perhaps from here theres only self improvement, betterment of my life if you will. But I can't help but think about the silver platters I have been unable to accept throughout my life. How much better it could be, not in regret, but in past incapableness. Through it all I felt punished, both destined for greater things, and thus handicapped.
Finally unshackled, these scars will be a reminder of all my miseries till the day my family name dies with me.

>>22266152
>It's never going to get better.
The ultimate truth.

>>22262603
Not Pagliacci, it's a painting of an Polish jester

>>22266645
>I was tired.
Stopped reading right there, broseph!

Quitting investment banking is one of my biggest regrets. Everyone hears the stories of the guy who quits, takes risks, and ends up more successful than he would’ve been had he just stayed on his track but nobody ever hears the stories about the guy who quits, gets depressed, can’t find decent work, and ends up broke.

>>22266739
well because there is the way we want ourselves to be and the way we are

>>22266794
but isnt it better to accept yourself?

>>22266800
maybe

I have this existential dread feeling about my life

>>22266896
regrets?

>>22262603
>get obsessed with learning something
>realize it’s pointless
>stop learning it
>get obsessed with it again a month later
>now regret that I stopped learning it
This is an endless cycle

Why people are so fucking annoying? This dude is bugging me to play with him and he isn't even playing the fucking game? What the fuck is the deal with me that faggots feel like bothering for no fucking reason?

>>22266904
Regrets and just not knowing exactly what to do. There’s this feeling like the war is lost. I have to not give in to it.

>>22266935
>I have to not give in to it.
Its hard. I cannot give any advice as I've given up.

What do you think about men who live with their mothers into their thirties?

>>22266938
Why?

>>22266943
Too many regrets weight me down.
Sorry.

>>22266939
I don't care, I don't want to have children and start a family. Fuck that shit.

>>22266722
same, but not so much a mountain man hermit but more a "on the fringes of society in the middle of nowhere" hermit, like a medieval hermit.

>>22266421
that's what i usually do but it's debatable whether or not that's productive

>>22266948
you will become like the man who comes into the coffee shop to take a shit but cannot clean up after himself, his shit all over the toilet, sometimes the handrail, the wall, nobody at home to care for him, all of his meals microwaved, or when his hands are too feeble and shaky even for that, exclusively from restaurants with bad toilets, hence the coffee shop, which at least has a hand rail, and a decently comfortable toilet which he can devastate, puttering to and from his beaten up truck, scrooging every penny of his social security checks, until one day his grip veers while driving, or he misses a step on his way into the house, or getting up from the sofa, or in the shower, and he'll lay where he falls, with bones broken, moaning, bleeding out, and when he cries out for help, who will hear him?

>>22266722
There’s a guy who used to come to /lit/ that did that. He lives in some national forest somewhere.

I'm a half-Germanic who moved into a non-Western state. How do I proceed?

>>22267029
Imagine having kids just so they can take care of you, you're a sociopath.

>>22267039
forest-anon?

>>22266945
How do they weigh you down?

>>22267029
>implying that I'm scared of death
Nice one, buddy. I have already experienced that and I'm honestly fine with dying. You will have to do better than that to convince me, I would be ok with it if I found anyone, but I would rather be by myself than just have any wife and start a family.

>>22267029
I'm not having children or starting a family either, I can't wait for that part of my life. I'll become society's problem and burden and they'll just have to "deal with it". Society deserves it.

>>22267029
Only people who fear dying are people who never took good care of themselves. If you eat right, work out, exercise your brain and such you'll be fine.

>>22267045
The regrets make me untrustworthy of other people. They always disappoint me.

>went to the pool with several coworkers
>had fun
>a girl stared at my physique on the way home
What the fuck, I feel like an actual normalfag.

>>22267086
>a girl stared at my physique on the way home
>>>/fit/

>>22267042
yes, imagine having been such a great parent that your youngest is happy to have you live with them in these, the twilight years of your life, imagine participating in that great chain of life-and-death-and-life-again which begot you and which stretches back through every man before you, and through every after --imagine doing the one thing that was ever meaningfully asked of you, imagine the survival of the species, imagine your great, great grandfather's great grandfather's grandfather, who likely was not a pussy bitch, imagine great lengths and innumerable sacrifices on which you now spit

>>22262603
rhinoplasty should be illegal, except in cases of actual disfigurement or medical necessity
>>22266939
really need more context to pass judgement here. not necessarily bad

>>22267148
> rhinoplasty should be illegal
What do you mean by this?

I don’t know where else to ask this, so I’ll ask here. Is it important to be adequately familiar with grammar structures if I’m trying to become a more concise and communicative writer? Also how do I stop writing like a psued?

>>22267139
>imagine participating in that great chain of life-and-death-and-life-again
Imagine actually thinking that being stuck in Samsara is a good thing, good luck with that.

>>22267154
i mean that surgeons who perform it should face criminal charges

>>22267166
Why so mad about people who perform rhinoplasty?

>>22267139
>Choice:
>Have Kids and watch them get turned into troons, or get cheated on by your wife and find out your kids were never yours genetically, or a host of other events that cause pain and suffering.
>Realize that the culture of the country you live in is fucked and the government is fucked and you protest it by not having kids, having fun, and doing what you want to do rather then run a rat race of a 5 to 9 being miserable.
Hmmmm, such a hard choice... Be miserable or just not be miserable.... Hmmmm, well I'm gonna have to say:
Fuck Society
Fuck Women
Fuck the Government
Fuck Culture
Fuck the Species
I'm gonna enjoy my life and I don't even mean that in a hedonistic way, there is just simply not enough offered to me to want to hold up a society and government that ultimately hates you.

>>22267059
So you regret trusting people? Is that it?

>>22267159
I think it helps, but you’ll ultimately have to come up with your own style and that might necessitate breaking grammar rules. Formulaic approaches to prose generally don’t read well. If it’s too “by the book” it comes off sterile.

After working tirelessly since the beginning of this year, I have finally saved the right amount of money I calculated I need to embark on my looksmaxx improover journey. Now im fully going down this rabbit hole

>>22267189
;~;7 good luck agent, we'll see you on the other side.

>>22267161
It wouldn’t hurt. Write more.
>>22267189
Godspeed improover.

Can't mexicans replace whites at a faster rate? I want libshit order to collapse, it's boring

>>22267213
>reads
>doesn't know what Samsara is
You should really read more about other religions just to have a basic knowledge on them anon...

>>22266556
PUA material to pick up tourists quickly
most are laughably bad tho

>>22267168
90% of the time there's nothing wrong with the nose in question, and it's one of the strongest indicators of ethnic background. the results are almost always that generic rhino look. thousands of beautiful Mediterranean people are butchering their beautiful aquiline noses to get the ubiquitous, upturned slender e-girl nose. it's a betrayal of both their racial and their individual identity, sacrificing them both to a societal, monocultural ideal

>>22262603
finally some ridi posting.

anyway, someone here knows and monitoring this thread must be too dreadful for even the most hardened analyst, so: I figure I'm willing to give this life a go if I know I have an out. I've tried twice before, once pretty thoroughly but I'm still here. I think I could give it an absurdist take if I know 99% I have an out. My plan is to stash a lethal dose (at least if mixed with alcohol) of some drug or other (methadone?) just so I know it's there. I have enough money to buy meenough time to figure out how to do this, and I'm starting with you lot:

How do I order death-pills on the dark-web? Where would you beggin looking? There have to be troughs of knowledge on this, but I am in the dark as it were. Do I need crypto?

>>22267228
Everything that comes from Meridional Greece or East of it from the end of Alexander the Great's Empire onward exists to promote the melanian principle so I'm not surprised at all. They are genetically engineered to bring their social rules and behaviors and they will willingly use modern technology to more efficiently achieve their goals.

>>22262603
Math is boring. I don't care if it makes me a giga-intellectual, it's tedious and I'd rather be reading or watching a movie.
I need to stop downloading /lit/ charts. I waste more time downloading charts imagining getting into something than actually doing the thing.
Cause once I start i realize how hard and un-fun it actually is and give up

Let's say you have a friend who is ontologically evil. You do not ever assist him in his deeds, nor do you encourage him, you just carry out conversations normally about life, philosophy, popular modern topics and whatnot. He also just occasionally confesses on the things he's done. You live too far away to actually do anything about them, if you did he'd just stop talking to you and keep doing them in secret.
What does this say about your moral character? Are there books on this kind of relationships or situations?

>>22267322
Maths is the least boring thing there is you philistine.

>>22267322
>Math is boring.
You are doing it wrong, learn some dimensional analysis and get some math super powers.
https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/18-098-street-fighting-mathematics-january-iap-2008/

i exist behind a lot of glass. i wish i could exist outside of it, but what separates me protects me and exposes me all the same.

>>22267322
i really only found math interesting after i started programming. it became easier to conceptualize what the point of math was and grounding it in things like DSP made it easier to see how it is fundamental to reality.

>>22267539
the crazy thing is dudes like fourier or boole prob had no idea how the shit they working on would end up being used.

>>22267039
No kidding? Tell me of forest anon.

Why are there two threads. What the fuck.

>>22267340
I do not think it makes you a bad person to talk to him. But if you're having authentic conversations with each other and he respects you enough to listen to you, surely you can try to get him to look at things differently.

My mother died about 3 hours ago. I got to be there and hold her hand and tell her I love her, and she wasn't in much pain. I'm glad it happened that way rather than her being alone. Been crying but it doesn't feel quite real yet. We were very close and she was my best friend. Feels dumb writing this on 4chan but I needed to write something about it for some reason.

>>22267851
(cont.) She died of uterine cancer that spread to her brain. She was resistant to going to the doctor for the symptoms that she was having early on, and if she had she might have been perfectly healthy right now. I could have forced her to go, but I didn't have the foresight to think it could turn into something this bad. I don't blame myself for that. Point being, if you're having strange medical symptoms, go get it checked out. You never know what you might be preventing.

>>22267851
>>22267867
I'm really sorry to hear that, anon. One of my friends died this year and I know the feeling of it being 'not real'. I'll be praying for you.

>>22267884
Thank you

>>22267851
You're a good man. She's lucky to have you. I'll pray for both of you and no matter what happens just keep going. Always remember that she would want you to just keep going, keep living another day with new joys. When you keep going you're doing it for her and not just for you. One day all this shit will make sense, but until then all we can do is keep plowing through it and overwhelming the evil of the world with more good.

>>22267851
god speed buddy. wishing you well

I'm not going to church tomorrow.

I decided to watch some war footage today. My eyes got watery and I couldn't contain it back. I don't recall that ever happening to me before. Maybe I've been clinging to life much more as I've gotten older. I enjoy (and seek appreciating) a lot of things during the day, which wasn't exactly part of my routine a few years ago. I don't know if contemporary wars will ever sit right in my head.

On one hand I am definitely too old to be living with my parents, but on the other hand I prefer it so much to the isolation I was in for those two years after the coronavirus lockdowns started.

>>22267713
He has a YouTube channel. Just search for him.

I had a dream that a boyish looking disabled girl became my gf. Her icebreaker was to say that we both wear new balance shoes. I wish my tard wife was real bros

>>22268001
Was she physically or mentally disabled?

Weight, appearance, money, social status, living arrangement, literary failures. I feel terrible about every aspect of my life. I want to find hope.

>>22267218
to be fair i dont think either poster understand samsara

>>22268025
Mentally. She was tarded. Part of the dream was meeting her support group of genetically disabled people. I remember one of the guys was super deformed. It was actually a very long dream

>>22267896
>>22267899
Thank you as well

>>22268001
>boyish looking disabled girl became my gf.
Stop dream stalking m-
>new balance
Oh good it's my more retarded sister. Sorry she's taken bro.

>>22262676
>>22262651
>>22262637

I keep thinking about the sex i had with a girl id known since hs who bit the fuck out of me and asked me to do the same, spit in my mouth, and showed me her self harm scars. I moved away and last i heard she started smoking meth.

I had a gf after her who fucked like a lioness and who i thought was emotionally stable but she broke up with me after four months because she suddenly wanted to be single, then asked to get back with me the next day. I said no but we kept talking until i got fucked up and slept with a coworker. When i told my ex her about it she stormed out and we havemt talked since. I told the coworker i didnt want to have a relationship with her and our work relationship hasnt changed. Never even told anyone which was surprising bc theyre usually p gossipy.

Then i talked to this qt redhead at a bar who was a friend of friends but didnt offer her my number bc shes moving soon. the next time my friends went out with her i was sick but she asked about me and said she wanted my number. Since shes leaving im guessing she just wants a fuck buddy for the summer.

Sometimes i want to chase every girl that shows interest in me, and other times i want to be left completely alone.

>Tl;dr i am a bpd hoe

>>22268124
This post comes off very fem-brained.

>>22266263
>I had fun waiting at the post office with a friend or making bad pasta with my ex-gf and my friends had fun going to a doctor’s appointment with me or simply driving aimlessly around the city. I even had fun at bars and clubs despite disliking these kinds of places just because of the friends I was with.
>The best advice I can give is to be comfortable in your own company because that’s the kind of vibe that makes people curious about you in a positive way. That doesn’t mean “be antisocial”. It means you’re the kind of guy who’s chill with just reading a book during lunch or going to the movies alone but will still give someone the time of the day if they’re up for it.
Not him but am I the only one who can't fathom finding enjoyment in any of these things, no matter who it's with? I legitimately cannot conceptualize the idea of "having fun." I do not understand people who look forward to "going out" with a group of friends on the weekend. To me it's as bad as work. I don't hate people or think they're stupid, in fact, I think I'm stupider than most people if anything, so it's not that.
For that matter, I don't "enjoy" being alone either. Most of those solitary activities you mentioned bring me no pleasure. I read, for instance, but only out of compulsion. I'm not "having fun" while I'm reading. I just do not understand what people mean when they talk about "having fun" or "enjoying life." Everything is just work to me.

>>22262603
What is with all the incel threads now? Raid or just the status quo?

>>22267980
Is this him?

https://www.youtube.com/@ForestAnon/videos

>>22268274
tis the summer

>>22268274
A couple bad apples can really bring down a slow board like /lit/

I must confess no Object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous Breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious Reader an Idea of its Bulk, Shape and Colour. It stood prominent six Foot, and could not be less than sixteen in Circumference. The Nipple was about half the Bigness of my Head, and the Hew both of that and the Dug so varified with Spots, Pimples and Freckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous: For I had a near sight of her, she sitting down the more conveniently to give Suck, and I standing on the Table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of our English Ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own Size, and their Defects not to be seen but through a Magnifying glass, where we find by Experiment that the smoothest and whitest Skins look rough and coarse, and ill coloured.

>>22267920
go

>>22262657
Put small in front of hill

>>22267341
Could be that it gets more interesting beyond a beginner level idk.
I'm easily memed into things by /lit/
But the beginner book I was reading was mind numbingly boring I just don't care.
I'd rather be reading a good novel.

>>22268320
I'm doing something to help my grandpa.

>>22263498
Public wank?

>>22268329
Urinated in my bathroom sink at night and stained it yellow.

>>22268327
can it wait till after the service?

>>22268337
No it's an appointment he needs help getting to.

i might be going crazy but at least i am going

>>22268342
ok, do what you gotta do. do they have a later service you could make?

>>22268345
No I have to help my grandma all day after the appointment. I live with my grandparents and take care of them.

>>22266152
As someone in tech it doesn’t get better, but it’s good to learn something you didn’t know before

>>22268343

How do I hear the difference between stressed and unstressed syllables?

thread full of garbage goddamn

I've been focusing on improving my visualization and imagination, i just wrote in my journal this:

" The more i use my imagination, the more i realize it looks like paintings like made by old artists for when i think of something in 2D but when i try to visualize and think of objects in 3D the creations i make in my head loook like old computer renders from the 90's. Maybe this is why people often feel a warm sense of nostalgia when they watch or look at vaporwave like content, I believe the vague, distorted images and sounds we hear from Vaporwave, or old recording equipment are very similar to how our imaginations remember past memories and how our imaginations perceive newly thought up concepts and ideas, our imaginations aren't crystal clear in HD, they're vague and distorted leaving lots of information out of the whole picture leaving a lot mystery to the visions and noises being created within our minds... Atleast thats how it is for me. I believe it's possible to create crystal clear images but it takes work to strengthen the mind to do so. Im currently excercising my imagination by focusing on creating Piano key lay outs within my mind and labeling them from A-G and trying to imagine the sounds each note makes, Im also working on the 8x8 Chess board with every single square colored and every single piece on the board and how they move and capture other pieces while also rotating the board and pieces like a diagram in my mind similar to the way you use blender for 3D models."

You ever realize that you despite feeling like you've been struggling a lot that you weren't actually trying very hard, if at all?

>>22268405
>You ever realize that you despite feeling like you've been struggling a lot that you weren't actually trying very hard, if at all?
This reminds me of what Andrew Tate once said. "It's actually kind of ironic in a way. When you put off doing hard shit and you always take the easy way out like not working out when you should or something like that, You're life actually becomes harder in the long run then if you were to just stop being lazy and put in the fucking work NOW."

It's not 1 to 1 what he said but it's pretty close. It's one of the few times he's said that i agree with whole heartedly.

I've jerked off seven times in the last two days.

>>22268189
Yea? How do you figure?

>>22266722
Guy who wrote the hermit post here. Forest anon is cool:

"I live in a national forest -illegally -on the side of a spur that juts out from the mountains and overlooks the forest and desert. As long as you establish your home deep enough in the forest where there are no trails or human traffic, and as long as it’s reasonably inaccessible to the novice hiker or hunter then you will most likely be safe from any human contact or authorities."

Living in Columbus, Ohio, where the nature is very lackluster, I've been feeling the call of the forest lately. Just bought a backpack, tent, sleeping bag, and a few other things. Forest Anon is inspiring. Wild places call out to me.

>>22262603
I feel i ought to feel something more substantial but the emotional load is lacking considering the circumstances, and what's weird about it is that it seemed to be a common feeling in the funeral. I just carried my mom to her grave 16 hours ago and it's nothing like i expected. Just a couple weeks ago i was explaining to my friend how it's hopefully not depression what hits you but healthy kind of sadness, but apart from few moments all i feel is emptiness. Her death wasn't unexpected but far from normal. She was one of the most lovable persons imaginable(not son exaggerating) yet she had to endure a fate worse than death.
She had a such a minor nerve surgery in the brain to the point that i had booked a hiking trip with my friends on the same day. That trip never happened as she had complications worse than imaginable. I was the first family member to catch her waking up from her coma 6 months later. Unfortunately her healing process wasn't the type you see from movies but the kind that pushed Schumachers(the F1 drivers) family to isolate themselves from media for the foreseen future. At her best she wrote a couple sentences a day. And that was 3 years ago. Still apart from the tracheostomy induced pneumonias she allways seemed if not serene, but at least happy to be with us. She never complained about anything but boredom and i felt as if she should. I wanted to have a chance to make things better for her. And hopefully i did do some times.
Mom was a 1 in a thousand type of helpful person. I used to keep to myself when i had harder times since one of my sisters has a rare disease and my brother has schizophrenia and i just didn't want to burden her with teenage depression antics. I'm not sure if i regret that since she sure would have helped me too, but as i said, i didn't want to make her carry anything more. For the last decade we and especially dad tried to give her the care back when she was in a time of need.
As i said in the first paragraph. Every family member seems to have mixed feelings on the matter. Her health and cognition had been declining for the past few years, and of course we saw her being on the brink of death way too many times. Now that she's gone it's a mix of relief of never ever having to see her being sick and in pain and a insane amount of longing. I personally seem to have lost many motivations on life for the moment as i realized i was just trying to be a kid to be proud of. I hope i'll overcome this and follow her example at least for a to some degree and overcome this. I seem to have been wrong in the first sentence also. Now that i tried to finally articulate my thoughts after weeks of escapism it hits me. I'm glad i could at least write something since i couldn't hold a speech since i'm prone to bawling my eyes out, in mid of every sentence. I love my mom. And a reminder to hug yours.

i watched astroid city. it was not particularly good. it had this pseud-bait frame narrative meta narrative shit about theater that was tedious. then the actual plot was insignificant. "ok" at best. i think i'm done watch movies. there was something just so self-important about it and it also felt like something that's been done before even if it hadn't.

>>22268477
It's Wes Anderson, what did you expect? This is like saying your done with novels after reading Tao Lin or something

Are your larps working today?

>>22268520
oh is he like a known pseud? i don't think i saw anything else from him.

>>22263365
instead of wanting to write, write

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4AkDt_JRqk
this shit goes hard af

>>22268105
I must have her. I will engage in tard conbat for her hand in marriage

>>22262603
Socially aided mathematical equations riding the exponentially growing alien tech shooting blasphemous words directly in my brain has done colors to my mind.
Conformists are inside my head and I am being raped into being unredeemable.
The sky has shown itself and thunder is on its way. Oh supernatural, save me, for I am now slave to the unnatural.

2012
INSANE MAN NEVER ASLEEP
10,000 YEARS OF PURE SUFFERING
BLUNT OBJECT IN HIS HAND AND CARBON AROUND HIM
U N E X P E C T E D B U T P R E D I C T A B L E
03:30 AM

>be liquor store worker
>closing tonight
>2 hot black girls walk in and buy some bottles)
>invite my boss and I to come to their party, we talk for a bit
>boss has no intention of going, he has a gf and the main girl clearly wanted his cock
drive home
>bunch of cars near my house
>the fucking party is at a neighbor's home, not even 100 feet from where I write this post
>tfw too much of a beta to show up alone so I'm sitting at home like a fucking cuck bitch posting in /lit/ threads about inane garbage with other dysfunctional incel pseuds and /fit/ threads about fat people

FUCK FUCK FUCK i fucking HATE being an awkward retard I wish I was just FUCKING normal and could get some black pussy FUCK

>>22268631
get up you piece of shit. so you want to be a writer? go observe your fellow man

p.s. why do you live in a black neighborhood?????

>>22268631
just go over there, you homo. nobody cares about who you are or what you're doing or if you belong there.
slam a couple beers beforehand if you have to.

AN ALIEN COMBINATION OF BITS IS ON THIS BITS CALLED CATALOG OF /lit/ AND A FAT MILLENIAL WITH NERD GLASSES AND A ID IN HIS CHESTPOCKET IS WATCHING ME GET SHOT.
HE ENJOYS IT :( BECAUSE HE'S A SLAVE TO THE MATERIAL

>>22268426
Tf does he eat?

>>22268612
Go to jail.

I hope things work out with my matchmaker and I can find someone. I have realized that I'm a workaholic to avoid dealing with any relationships. I spent years working overtime, stepped back, and figured out how lonely I am.

>>22268644
This comment has been logged and you will receive Correction Chemicals in your water supply.

>>22268707
ayo can you hook me up with a job??

>>22262603
I am the worst person I know. I hate myself with a burning passion. I ruin everything. I am only good for physical labor. My personality is appalling. I think if I never spoke to or interacted with another person again the world would be much better for it. I am an ungrateful waste of breath and space, not fit for the blessings I have been given.

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?

>>22268794
No. I even close my eyes or turn around when brushing my teeth.

I'm deadweight. I weep for the person who is forced to decipher this thing on me and inside me.

>>22268405
Yeah at multiple times in my life. I’ve always had a hard time especially with finding things to struggle hard at or for.

>>22268794
No.

>>22268794
No. I don’t know how people even uglier than I am, see themselves as beautiful. They are so lucky. Ignorance is bliss.

I just realized that after journaling for about 2 weeks and writing my thoughts out through out the day whenever i think of something, The reason why Journaling is good for you and your mental health is because after writing down your thoughts everyday you slowly train your brain to become more present in the moment. I've started to equate thinking of my past, and future and thinking of my anxieties and and insecurities with writing, They no longer haunt me intrusively though the day whenever my mind feels like, Now i just live in the present and face everything head on and only think about the problems when i sit down to write about it.

Men who tried to ride two boats at once and drowned in the process are discussed in detail, in a negative memory but a memory indeed, a memory for their mates and lesson for their sons.
Men who never left the docks are simply forgotten and you never learn from them because they were not the memory.
Either these mysterious mysteries are simply the defects of this world meant to be eliminated like feces from one's body or they hold knowledge that is incomprehensible.
incomprehensible because it is unknown and maybe incomprehensible to them too for it is still unknown.
He comprehends therefore he is, one isn't therefore he isn't.
The known lives on a linear path of unidirectional motion, hitting the + and the - back and forth, while the unknown lives on a structure made of two concentric spirals with their starts and end's attached.
The unknown's movement signifies its existence but its tendency to stay in its perimeter marks its alien nature, antisocial or incomprehensible even.
The known moves, the unknown moves, the known loops, the unknown loops too but, the unknown revolves while the known progresses. why ? who knows.
unknown's nature doesn't allow us.
unknown remains unknown but his existence his solely found inside the known. The existence of known marks the existence of unknown but unknown itself remains unknown while the existence of unknown confirms the existence of known for his revolutions are known because they are discernable from the unknown.
Is the unknown absent for the boatmen for he is not in their memory or does he remain incomprehensible for he didn't ride the boat.
The drowned men are known while the dock man remains unknown for he truly is unknown.
The drowned men are lesson for the sons because they are known but the dock man' quality of being unknown itself is a lesson.

>>22268925
The Illiterate knows but remains unknown of it because it is unknown while the literate knows of him because he himself his known while Illiterate is unknown

Illiterate (unknown) = literate (known)
reasoning: he is unknown therefore known while still unknown
:looping incomprehensibly

>>22268050
Ironic considering that I'm the original poster that your both replied too and brought up Samsara, don't project your ignorance onto me.

>>22268937
08:44

My ass is a swamp.

EVIL !!!!! EVIL!!! ALL OF IT.

>>22268957
The olive has been added to evil.

I will allow a parasite to live in my guts

>>22269016
You're late to the party. I'm riddled with tapeworms and nanobots

https://voca.ro/1ajU9eWsO8cT

>>22269041
An audio tour de force.

俺がロリコンじゃない!

HOLY SHIT IS THAT A FUCKING BLACK MAN !!!!????
IS THAT THE INFAMOUS TYPE NIGGER HOMO SAPIEN
*photosynthesis hacked*

>>22262603
I think I don't have any real desires in life. Maybe owning a girl... But other than that :/

>>22269093

>>22269093
I wish I desired a woman.... things would be so simple and less ARF ARF

>>22269050
ロリコンの悪魔です。

>>22269098
When I was fresh out of highschool I had a good 6 month period of being a neet. It was comfortable because I didn't want much and I had everything I wanted. I had obligations to my mom though so it had to end. I would have stayed that way for years if I could have, but I love my mom.

I say this to say Buddhism is for good people; People who don't effect the world negatively. And that's unfortunately not me.

>>22269155
I've been a NEET for 11 years so far. But I've been taking care of my elderly grandparents.

everything is going wrong today.... nothing is too tragic but even the slightest annoyance in the regular frequency of sound is so tragic as if my heart is gonna jump out of my mouth
holy fucking shit I might actually jump down the balcony
what the fuck do I do giys

OH FUGGGGGG why is my heart beating so fast and badly
am i losing brainc ells

>>22269172
Keep going through your life. You'll die someday anyway, so there's no reason to end it earlier. Endure suffering, consider it all an experience, til the end. And remember it's okay to cry.

I think a woman is playing around with me. Part of me is acting as devil’s advocate and saying there’s probably a reasonable explanation for her behaviour and everything will end up fine while the other part thinks that she’s clearly making me run in circles and I should just cut contact. Dunno if the pessimistic part is merely a product of paranoia and bad experiences or if it’s the optimistic part that is born out of delusion due to liking someone and not wanting to admit that nothing will happen.

well thats enough refreshing /lit/ for today. time for bed. i put some new books on my ereader, perhaps its time to start reading again after a two year hiatus. else ill just keep coming here and refreshing for six hours per day

>>22268794
lol no. I have a two nice features about my face but the rest is extremely ugly.

I realized that not a single personal quality which exists within me is beheld with affection by another. At best I am an unliked man. It feels like I have a soul coated over a lifetime with a milllion layers of filth and lies

>>22268794
Yes. Women tell me im gorgeous all the time.

after all these years I have not understood even a bit about myself
I can manage to get outcasted in even the worst kind of subhumans that can exist on this planet
I do not like what I am forced to do but my obligations bound me
this collision of me not liking anything yet existing at the same moment being forced to engage in them anyways just erodes me from inside even more
but I will do what seems more subduing now, I will continue, I will rip every old memory I have off from now and start rebuilding myself into a normal human that appears normal to the outside world
I will reject my framework and continue for a material goal now, many claim that I will find happiness once I achieve my goal but deep down I know the answer but still its future and I can be 100% wrong too
on this note that I can be a retard too, I will actively start ripping my old walls and start generating my new house
its not better than suicide but more strategic than it anyways

I've hated women for most of my adult life, But lately i've been wondering... IS there something wrong with modern women? Or is there something wrong with society as a whole? Did women cause the problems inside of society that led to this? Or was it the men for allowing it?

>>22269303
I will now delete this folder containing idk how many years worth of media I have collected of internet
I will research my way and find how I can minimize its use to the least

>>22269312
all this place has done is to give me more pain or just increase my ability to sense it better yet I feel kind of attached to these pixels on screen

>>22269305
There is an unhealthy obsession with youth, and it is now considered shameful to grow old. Its not a gender specific issue, but rather the encroaching superficial zeitgeist of the 21st century. You can blame all the jewish executives for creating a society where natural beauty is despised and every insecurity has a monthly subscription to "cure." Your prejudice against women is more than likely due to your sharply below average penis and bitter personality, and the fact you even ask a question like this makes it clear you have never actually conversed with a women in your entire adult life.

>>22268673
But I'm retarded too

>>22267759
>surely you can try to get him to look at things differently.
Nope. As mentioned he is for all purposes, what mankind considers to be the definition evil. A being of pure egoism without a shred of empathy, coupled with active spite and malice for society and every other human being. That he converses with me is probably from the fact that he cannot escape his condition as a social animal, not out of any notion of respect or care towards my point of view, I'm just the only one he *can* talk with at this point in time.
People who think that there's good inside everyone, that everyone can be redeemed, nobody deserves to die, etc. would have their viewpoints completely changed by meeting people like him. I think sometimes wires in the brain just get crossed the wrong way, and no amount of philosophy, education or self-reflection can overcome that.

my housemate is a twink and gay bashers keep harrassing our house becauase they know he lives here

>>22262603
Went back to my old job that I got fired from over the vax.

I thought it would have made me feel cuck but actually feels pretty good going back not having had any injections at all and hearing a bunch of people claiming they never wanted it.

>>22269585
>gay bashers
what do you live in saudi arabia or something?

The truth is that I hate myself

I’ve wasted these years since COVID lockdowns and as a result my life has gotten worse in every way

>>22267181
>Is that it?
No need for sarcasm.

>>22269050
>>22269152
we speak english here not made up moon runes

nigger atheist friend says I'm an hypocrite for not being fully devoted to religion and still wishing to marry a religious woman.

>>22269419
Go to jail anon is a different anon. But also you can't fight my sister's bf because he's nice

new
>>22270318