/lit/ - Literature

I decided to ask AI to help me write, but not to rewrite for me. Picrel is the prompt.I have done this before, asking it for advice on a specific genre, but here i just asked it to be as brutal as i could manage.
First, I would like to share the results, this is using ChatGPT 3.5, afaik. I may look into using other LLMs to affect my writing in a deeper or more stylistic way.
Second, before you look at the AIs response, I ask you to think about how you would critique the paragraph in question yourself. I chose one of my own because I was too lazy to find a good paragraph elsewhere. I may test the same prompt on something by Nabokov or Joyce.
Third, I want to know your thoughts on using AI in this way to augment your own writing.
Inspiration:
https://arxiv.org/abs/2203.03724
from https://www.theintrinsicperspective.com/p/why-we-stopped-making-einsteins
from >>>22228398

P.s. if you fancy yourself a prompt designer, how might I improve this prompt?