/lit/ - Literature

I havent had sex in 7 years

I'll never own a dog. Been through hell and back because of a roommates dog. I'll never have roommates again either.

>>22206506
>>22206511
I hope you get mauled a mutt
>>22206512
Based

>>22206523

I've been thinking of death and the infinite void of oblivion that awaits all of us in a rather short amount of time. I basically work myself into a panic and then the anxiety of it gets so bad that the thought of escaping existence by dying ironicaly feels soothing.

>>22206506
Modern book had an excerpt from some old author that was significantly more engaging now I'm having trouble getting back into it. Not a bad book by any means but damn I wanna read that other guy.

The Me of five years ago would be shocked at how anti-semitic the Me of now is.

beep beep beep, the alarm sounds, it's Monday, going back to work a week after a weekend of rest playing fortnite, I wish I could sleep longer, but anyway, during the day I'll get ready to face the week and whatever comes with it, so suddenly I'm already changed having breakfast, spaghetti bolognese, really tasty, I think it will give me energy for the whole day, so I'll go to work with everything ready, I started working motivated facing the week, I looked at the clock that is in the middle of the industrial warehouse and I see that the hand points to 8, so I assumed that it was already 40, suddenly my belly began to feel very heavy, everything I was stirring in there, but it doesn't matter in a few moments it goes away and I can continue everything normal, after a vast two minutes I realize that they are combined with a very recognizable pain but that nobody likes to feel, you feel like it makes you want before going to the bathroom, you know you can't have flatulence because it will come with a prize but this has happened to me before, I'll wait until I get home and make everything comfortable there since NOBODY likes to go to the bathroom in another bathroom than It is not the one at home, three minutes later I realize that I will not be able to, I will have to go to the bathroom, urgently if I do not want something unforeseen, so I hurry, suddenly he arrived and I realize that there is a bottle of papers obstructing the entrance, which is also interpreted as do not pass, a little confused I kept investigating what was happening, on the door I managed to see a sign. (7-8 service, bathrooms disabled for cleaning). There were 15 minutes to go, I went back and thought about holding out for 8 o'clock to be able to enter, but as you can imagine, no more than two minutes passed when I was on my way back, ready to go in before anything, a man named Don Adolfo arrived, very good people by the way he tells me "come on young man" it's already 8 o'clock, I got confused because I had recently seen that it was 40 o'clock, I calculated 45 for him, but I realized that I was looking at the hour hand and not the minute hand,

>>22206574
, The truth was very pleasant, so I proceeded to wash my hands, since I was grabbing metal and I didn't want to go to the bathroom like that, I don't understand people who wash their hands after peeing if they didn't get dirty, really, poop I understand, but I am one of those who believe that you should wash your hands before using the bathroom, Don Adolfo noticed this, and congratulated me, commenting "how hygienic you are, young man, not like the bunch of pigs here, I have to clean the bathroom for them and they go too far, but good for you, young man," so I proceed to grab paper from the dispenser outside the bathroom since there aren't any inside, and so I grabbed a lot just in case, suddenly I entered for the first time I went to the bathrooms at work, they were not dirty, in fact they had just been cleaned by Don Adolfo, but I realize that there is no toilet, and that the shape of the bathroom itself makes it impossible to sit on, since the diameter was very large, so I proceed to do the bathroom standing up and I got diarrhea, have you ever had diarrhea standing up? I do not recommend them, if sitting down is exhausting standing up is impossible, at times I had to stand up straight, since my legs were shaking, it was really difficult, however I finished and everything went well, I felt better but no 100%, I probably left the bathroom very stinky, after 10 minutes, without being 100% I got a torzon again, so I confidently decided to go to the bathroom again, and I repeat the whole process, I came to wash my hands and talk to the kind and enthusiastic Don Adolfo, then I grab a lot of paper to enter, but I enter and realize that he is busy, and I said fuck that's it, so I threw the paper away and went back to work on what the other person was leaving, once leaving and I with a bit of a hurry, I go to the bathroom more confident, I grab less paper, suddenly I go to the bathroom and feel my legs trembling, in one when I stand up straight so as not to get numb, I take out a clot of poop along with a flatulence, which triggered the cup like this, muddying it all, I had little paper, barely and Mr. was going to reach to clean me, but I was able to rescue some paper and try to clean without success, since in reality it only remained more muddy in a disgusting way, then An ethical dilemma arose, should I act "right" and go for paper and hide what happened, or leave it there as a sign that it got dirty and that other people don't trust themselves to sit down or something so they don't get a disease.

>>22206581
I opted for the first, leaving the bathroom happy I meet Don Adolfo, who greets me very well again, I start to wash my hands and I see that Don Adolfo perceives a smell and is going to approach the bathroom, I immediately put him in I turbo to wash my hands to leave there, Don Adolfo approaches the bathroom talking in a friendly way, at that moment I fled to go back to work at my machine, in the distance I see Don Adolfo leaving the bathroom, but no longer the smile on his face, on the contrary I could not contain myself from laughing, I don't know why, I only saw Don Adolfo with a serious and determined look, go to the human resources department, where minutes later he left without being an employee of the company, and what would you have done?

no one is reading all of that.

I keep getting complimented on my “baritone” voice and that I need to get into voice acting or radio. I really dont think its that simple but what the hell, should I try narrating an audiobook or something?

I am going to be porn free for the next 30 days. It is going to be hell. I will suffer tremendously. I will not masturbate. This is my vow. Vow LOCKED IN.

i keep procrastinating all the time, i want to write my book, need to edit my book yet i do nothing and just mindlessly look at shitty memes. Should i just off my internet for a couple of hours or something? I dunno

>>22206511
I haven't had sex in 25 years

Getting a gf will fix half of my life, but I have to fix the other half so that I can even dream of being loved
sometimes I wish I could go back in time to lynch my parents

>>22206506
My wife doesn’t satisfy me and there is no romance in my life. I don’t even know if I’m attractive to women anymore since marriage is so isolating I get no attention from women whom I’ve always depended on for love and support. I dont have any male friends nor do I want them. What I want is to start an affair with a coworker of mine who is also married but I don’t know how to tell her.

>>22206506
>The dog appeals to cheap and facile emotions; the cat to the deepest founts of imagination and cosmic perception in the human mind. It is no accident that the contemplative Egyptians, together with such later poetic spirits as Poe, Gautier, Baudelaire, and Swinburne, were all sincere worshippers of the supple grimalkin.

>>22206560
Proud of you

>>22207135
I posted this because I was thinking about the qoute btw.

>>22207070
For the love of God narrate war and Peace. The one out now is some swedish fucker or something and you can’t hear a god damn word he’s saying.

JIMMAAY! JIMAAAY! TIME TO GET SOME OF THAT PUSSI!

Can't enjoy a book when I'm broke NEET. It's time to go back being a wagie for 1-2 years

Failing to find purpose in your life until after 25, 30 feels like failing at life in general. It seems that if you want to win, you’ve got to start young and if you don’t it’s over.

>>22207234
Im about to be 29 and have a strong feeling that my life is over. At least any part from which I could find real enjoyment or inspiration. But yano what’s going to happen when we turn 40? We are going to be looking back a decade just as we are now and realize we fell for the same trap twice. Get off your ass and do something for yourself now for the love of God.

>>22207242
That’s not a problem for me. I know exactly where I want to be at 40. Whether I’ll get there or not is another question but I have faith. But more to the point, it does feel that somehow the potential is capped. It’s like where you could’ve been by 40, if you were on your way there a while ago, is very different from where you could’ve been by 40 if you start your way there now. Do you know what I mean? Your life definitely isn’t over at 29 by the way. Perhaps consider if you have anything going on from 25-29 which could lend itself well biographically to what you want for the future. Maybe it’s not been a wash.

>>22206506
I think I’m about to get unironic schizophrenia, I suddenly can’t concentrate on anything and I can’t remember anything, and I’m pretty sure I experienced actual shamanic possession the last two nights. My extreme fear of people only gets worse despite having zero contact with them. I don’t even know if I should try to prevent it because I kind if wish I were institutionalised or had a good enough excuse to kill myself. I’ll probably just become a homeless retard though.

>>22206560
isn't antisemitism basically just an advanced way to do nothing while cultivating anger?

>>22207134
this is not going to make you happier

>>22207153
Bunk is a lovable guy

All black niggers must die. Burn Africa. Send nukes to that wretched continent.

I really suspect the best thing you can do is to work in an office for a government agency. You're outside of the grind of capitalism and you have good chances of fostering real relationships wich co-workers.

>>22207433
I think you should visit your mother. It can be very grounding visiting your mother.
t. we're probably not that different

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWvXSSXUwnw
>shakespeare, dickens, melville, FOLEY
what did his shirt mean by this?

What is with the overuse of the "that is degen" insult I see everywhere online now, seems mostly from normoid streamers and zoomers. Is there anything behind this trend?
I get the fact that tradcon larpers have been making these moral judgements against people for a while, but it has spread so far and wide now.
Is it that baseless moral judgements are so deeply natural in humans that social media is tapping into it?

I think the biggest kind of stride you can make with a lot of self help stuff is just to accept who you are. That isn't to say that your typical fuckups don't matter, but I think the more you spazz out about it the worse it gets. It's a middle way thing I suppose. I just feel lately like I've started to be pretty used to the ways in which I normal fuck things up, and while I don't want to fuck these things up, I haven't been able to change the patterns for all my frustration. Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world not being perfect.

>>22207070
Look up what books have gone into public domain this year and read the first chapter. You'd need to have decent recording equipment.

>>22207559
Or perhaps rather, in reality you are a point of balance with things. You are on a point between the dualities in your more typical nature; you are the way you are. In some ways there are good things that come from being how you are. (speaking of mysellf) If you don't like conflict, there are good things that come of that and there are bad things that come of it. I don't know I just heard a buddhist speech where the woman stressed how the sort of point of this reality is that you can't control whether or not you will live through disaster- if you could then obviously you would avoid and would have avoided all disasters, and this is not so. What you can attempt to do is to cultivate a.. I suppose pro-social frame of mind, and that is something that you can always pick up and try to foster in yourself, regardless of who you've been or what you've done. It clicked for me I think that this is what is meant by a baptism in christianity. As far as your physical safety goes, you're going to have the ideas you're going to have: for protecting yourself from harm and from famine and so on, you're pretty offered the board as it is, you have the options you have and you choose what you choose. In a way this is the least interesting part of your existence, pretty much whatever your place in life ends up being. You are basically adapted to guard your security as much and as wisely as you can. Because that, I suppose, is what the worry about -who you are- is about. But most of all I think it's a worry about how to retain the love of others. That's the kicker when it comes to people I guess: how do I keep the people I love? But I guess it falls into the same thing in a way: you're going to have the ideas you're going to have, and you can't control it. I think what she meant, the buddhist, was that if you can accept that, then you can focus on what you can control, which is your character. Something like that. About being what you are: what I felt I realized was that you are one person in a tremendous interconnection of people. I felt peace with accepting that maybe I will not be so adaptable as to play what I perceive to be the most beautiful part in all circumstances. Maybe that isn't the worst thing in the world. Or perhaps more to the point: maybe stressing about it tremendously does harm.

Guy I hate at work walked outside and then it started to rain

>>22207624
nigger what?
your saying were all equal before god.

GOD SMILES ON CAESER NOT JESUS

>>22207638
ibn Hajar doesn't accept the hadith on the jihad an nafs ;^)

fr tho I think the point is the middle way

>>22206511
Me too! Eight year anniversary this december
Cant say I really miss it, I get used to subpar conditions really easily - I do wish I had someone close though, this lonely "freedom" is getting old and boring

>>22207642
it is in a way interesting to note, when you google jihad an nafs and get this article, the following comment from ibn Taymiyyah. What makes it interesting is that usually the people who wage reckless "jihad" will give ibn Taymiyyah as their source for why this would be acceptable. My arabic is weak, but I believe rawdat al muhibeen means something like "the meadows of those who LOVE"

Jihad of the soul against desire is the foundation of jihad against unbelievers and hypocrites, for a Muslim cannot wage jihad against them unless he has first waged jihad against his soul and desires before he goes out against them.

Source: Rawdat Al-Muhibeen 1/478

https://www.abuaminaelias.com/jihad-against-the-soul-in-islam/

This sucks. This world fucking sucks

i feel so empty all the time

everything is so empty

>>22207027
This, basically.

>>22207765
Get a blowjob from a nice escort.

This is what men see everyday of their lives and they have the audacity to complain!!

I love morons so much it's unreal

>>22207624
I guess what I'm trying to say that within reason it seems acceptable to play your part. Maybe you don't have all answers, but it is still valuable that a voice like yours exists.

Everyone is complaining because they have American values and don't live up to them. Just get different values.

shamona

My suicide attempt's ten year anniversary is just around the corner guys :3. What would be a fun way to celebrate?

>>22208169
That doesn't follow at all.

>>22208241
A family day with your wife/husband and kids. Day out to the zee and not thinking back on the bad days, just enjoying your achievements in the now.

>>22208242
Follow what?

>>22208241
KYS
(kanpai yourself)

I'm gonna turn 26 in 10 minutes. Feels odd being this old.

>>22206506
The most stable time periods of Islamic societies like Ottoman and Persia was when they permitted male bisexuality. And before you mock them for this, pay heed that the Spartan, Greek, and Roman men were also heavily bisexual.

You need three things for social stability:
1) polygyny
2) stripping women of all rights and autonomy and putting them in harems
3) permitting bisexuality for men

Gorillas are much more peaceful than chimps and bonobos and that's what they're like. You also see most high cultures lean towards being more like gorillas.

>>22208169
>The self, given by God, should fulfill itself.
Okay Boomer.

>>22208314
1) I didn't write that.
2) I'm not a boomer.

nooooo mrporter doesn't have free shipping anymore! bidenomics continues to RUIN my standard of living. wtf.

I've written about this on here before, though I think it's a long time ago, but my brain does this thing where it picks out things to do with music and sort of presents them to me, as a commentary to what is happening. Music seems very important to it. I somewhat suspect that this is similar to "hearing voices". I'm the anon who wrote about being in a psych ward after a suicide attempt a few days ago. One part of how I ended up making that attempt was that I heard the words.. I heard them loud in my head, over and over again "You've got somebody waiting, you've got somebody waiting" in my head from this song (I'd only ever heard it in the background as a part of the standard playlist of my regular coffee-place, I thought he just said it as a statement "You've got somebody waiting", I hadn't heard the "if", nor really any of the other lyrics)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mDBsis_4PA

and I thought maybe I'd suffered enough in this life that God would let me spend eternity with someone I love, that she would be waiting on the other side. I really think that was a part of me making that decision.. Anyway that wasn't what I was gonna say, I just realized that this showed up in my head while I was in the ward and it struck me now- this is where I've been: CKY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14eVFQeegxQ

one of my favorite songs in middle school. Anyway, take care all, I'm doing better but I wonder about those voices desu senpai

>>22208414
>I've written about this on here before, though I think it's a long time ago, but my brain does this thing where it picks out things to do with music and sort of presents them to me, as a commentary to what is happening.
when I wrote about it last I remember it was that before I was going to for a walk where I realized I was completely absorbed in thoughts about my ex in the rain I heard bob dylan in my head "I'll follow your casket, on a pale afternoon", which was what I was about to do. Maybe someone remembers.

I hate samsara so much it's unreal
>right wing critique of capital
>leftist understanding of integration
>Marxist theology
>sigma male grindset archetype as a symbol of reactionary Faustian spirit
>analytical pure language analysis of dog speech
statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged, a whole world built on illusions and ran by people who would not be able to behold the thing in itself (not the Kantian term) if I punched them in the face with it

I keep trying to capture and subdue my 23 years of desolation into art and writing, I’ve started many projects but quit the next day and I simply don’t have the drive. My thoughts or ideas aren’t original or interesting anyways, and I’ve realized that all real art has only ever been a form of cope or an outlet for fantasy. Women especially were never meant to be this much barren and untouched.

Pursuing greatness sounds like more responsibilties put on our shoulders for the sake of having a fancier title and an additional tens of thousands on our account at the end of the year. Can a few tens of thousands more buy the freedom I desire? Can it buy the love of the woman I long for? Can it buy the time I need to fully enjoy life? If you spend 60 hours a week working, you've just spent 60 hours working when you could have done half of this and hanged out with your wife and kids. What's the point of climbing the corpo ladder if the only thing waiting for you up there is your divorce and a bunch of divorced old bastards you have to team up with? The more I work the less working seems to have sense. What's the fucking point of greatness if the only fun things in it are the strangers who will suck up to you.

>>22208241
Bake a cake or pastry in the shape of a noose. It's fun to be cheeky

>>22206506
I want to fuck a roastie.

Everything I write is laughably edgy and overwrought and It's making me psych myself out of a chance to publish something. I love writing it, it's the most fun shit ever, but thinking about my pompous nasty schlock next to the literary, or at least, not completely juvenile stuff it would be published with is making my stomach fall out.

>>Keep writing, writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, KKeep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, eKeep writing, Keep writing, epKeep writing, writing, Keep writing, KeepKeep writing, Keep writing, Keep writinKeep writing, g, Keep writing, writing, Keep writing, writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, eep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, eep writing, writing, Keep writing, ng, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing, Keep writing,

a mosquito sat on my bare testicles and I slapped it. My testicles ache now, but it's the kind of pain that also gives me a weird masochistic pleasure. It only works when I hit my balls in an accident like this, never when I do it directly for no reason

My sister friendzoned me. She doesn't really see me as the big brother anymore.

>>22208268
Happy birthday.
I've been told by multiple older people that 28/29 was still young. Wat it all means?

>>22208637
If she's actually friends with you then you're doing better than me. Mine left the nii-nii suki phase when she became a teenager and never looked back.

>>22208651
Thanks.
>I've been told by multiple older people that 28/29 was still young. Wat it all means?
I guess it comes from who're in their 30s. Its relative.

>>22208620
how the fuck did a mosquito get on your balls in the first place

The words cope and seethe have been a disaster for 4chan.
I remember when they first got used a lot. I thought it would be a short thing but it's still here stronger than ever.

>>22208676
Dont you ever just air your balls

So sad.

>>22208778
Cry about it.

I am so detached and disconnected from the concept of human interaction, that I cannot comprehend the true nature of passionate love. And it's funny because I consider myself a big hopeless romantic at heart, but I realize now that it was only ever superficial and ideal because I have zero field experience. I crave a raw and emotionally libidinal connection with another human, the way that love is portrayed in stories, media, film, etc. But when it comes to actually knowing how to connect with other humans in my life, my actions are a contradiction to my desires and ideals. I don't know the true nature of having an intimate relationship with another human. I don't know the touch of another gender, never been kissed or touched. My brain generates null, I have no idea how love actually is, and what it feels to completely surrender to another human. These concepts are so foreign to me, like dying.

I'd probably be a hundred times happier if I had regular casual physical contact with a girl who wanted to do that kind of thing with me. Instead I'm on my way to becoming a hermit. Oh well.

>>22207382
Yeah I understand what you mean. Ive done a lot so I guess Im proud of it but yeah I could have done more. Someone I respect at work told me the 30s are the best so that gives me some hope.

Stop being a pussy and start being a real man now!!!

>>22208824
Same bro my life fucking sucks!! The only times I was happy was when I had friends who happened to be girls and they would give hugs and laugh on my shoulder and smell nice. Three months ago I had a fling with a stinking girl (literally stinking, not just from the bottom) and it was the only time I didn't like it, but I had no other choice. Man I miss these nice smelling>>22208831
bitches

>>22208676
I was lying in the tub with the window open and the balls sticking out just above the water surface

I think people underestimate just how much information technology has changed human life and how it’s made the good life pretty much impossible.

Literature exists even when it doesn't. Entire industries depend on there being a constant flow of literature to market, write reviews about, buy, and so on, yet as we can clearly see from the past, decades or occasionally even centuries can pass without literature in any meaningful sense of the term. It would do us a lot of good if we were honest enough to admit to ourselves that just because people type letters on a page it doesn't mean that anything worthwhile has been created, even if we would much prefer to think otherwise, to deny the undeniable fact of our cultural decline.

What is meta-modern?

I want my threads to reach the bump limit every single time. There are books and authors I like talking about, movies and directors I want to talk about, etc. every time it feels like I’ve been getting filtered way to quickly for it to be natural. Any suggestions?

>>22208985
I think literature frankly doesn’t matter for the person or culture anymore.

I hate the life I’ve set up for myself and the choices I’ve made. I desperately wish I could get back just a few years of my life knowing what I know now, how things turned out, so I could build something better for myself by now.

Aimlessness is such a bitch. It ruins lives.

>>22209227
prob. still young
if you take a single step to change your life now, you'll reach your destination in a few years
time passes in a flash, carry on

>>22209090
Say something about the book that is generally understood to be false. The goyim will feel compelled to enter your thread and refute you, which is likely to result in a good conversation on the subject matter.

>>22209227
Males reach the peak of their careers around age 50. Keep grinding, you might yet accomplish something worthwhile.

What are you supposed to say when your best friend says he loves you

>>22208307
Kek I basically have the same theory. I was thinking mainly of Western societies, I didn't know it didn't apply to Islamic societies too.

It seem obvious that if intelligence is not directly correlated with evil, it at least is a requirement for evil to emerge and greater degrees of intelligence beget a similar capacity for evil. In nature, it certainly seems absurd to suggest that less intelligent species such as insects and lizards could be capable of evil acts, but when we start to see behavior that we could begin to consider as evil, it is only the more intelligent species that we see commit such acts, such as cetaceans (killer whales, dolphins) and apes.

Similarly, in humans, evil acts such as rape and murder committed by the mentally impaired could be viewed as less evil that those same acts performed by someone intelligent. When we see the torture of animals committed by children, we may feel anger and disgust at the child - but we would never consider the child itself evil, just their act. This is because we know the child lacks the capacity to full appreciate the cruelty it is committing, even if it understands it is bad to some degree.

This makes the prospect of extraterrestrial life so frightening - the level of intelligence required to cross the stars would also assume the capacity for evil beyond human comprehension, though not beyond human suffering (the agonizing experience of being flayed, for instance, may be foreign to a horse in terms of abstract conceptualization, yet the intensity of its pain would be similar with our own.)

>>22209090
Maybe your interests don't interest others. I struggle in the same way and end up just talking to myself in the car about things that no one else cares about. But I suggest joining discord servers catered to your specific interests, if you really want to discuss it with others

>>22209296
the word 'evil' is most often used to describe that which is threatening to human cohabitation. children who torture animals are more likely to harm human beings as adults, hence this behavior is generally met with deep concern. animals aren't considered evil by modern man because we have a great deal of control over the natural world, but primitive man's respect and fear of animal spirits in previous eras is an indication of his feelings towards animals and their capacity for "evil".

The ice cream cone is more important than the ice cream.

>>22209332
What bizzaro world are you from

>>22209344
Ice cream is fine in a bowl for the first time, but a nice cone makes it worth eating forever.

While I was helping out on the farm today, I absent-mindedly walked too close to a rooster and it sprung up and one-two kicked me in the thigh and genitals.
I was thinking about becoming a farmer, but now I am reconsidering.

>>22209270
You’re right but it’s tough to accept what could have been, and where you’ve been.

>>22208307
“Stability” is a pointless and relative term. Nothing is really stable. And what works for others at some to

Every time I consider leaving my shitty job I conveniently receive a pay rise. It almost feels like they can read my mind

>>22209408
That’s how they keep you on the treadmill. It’s not some ironic twist of fate.

TEENAGE PUSSY

>>22209281
I love you too, no homo

I really fucked up my timing with this year’s application cycle. I didn’t finish my tests until February, which means I already missed the application deadline more or less. So now I have to wait another year to enroll and I’m already getting so damn old. I could’ve applied last minute today, but I would have to pay full price and I don’t have all the necessary letters of recommendation to complete the app.

How come i dont remember the years between 2019 and 2021?
I was on a very low dosage of anti depressants and benzos.
Wish id written something of the time.
My executive dysfunction. Crazy
Maybe, maybe i have a brain tumor.

Life is so boring. Please tell me that this isn't all there is.

>>22209463
You need to recalibrate your brain so thar it can appreciate the wonder that is to exist at all. It sounds like your left hemisphere is in control.

>>22209463
Yeah like the other guy said, learn to settle.

>>22209472
nta and not really on the same topic but I wonder how feasible it is to live a normal social life and disconnect from the obscene sources of cheap dopamine hits all around us (social media, tv shows, video games).

Doing that is unthinkable to me for some reason, like it's blasphemous or irresponsible. I wish I could articulate it better than this.

>>22209463
No, you're boring.

>>22206506
My parents have a shi tzu named Madison

This is unironically the best time in human history to be alive. The last 50+ years have been some of the best. The world have never been a more safe and equitable place.

>tfw starting a sneeze journal
These so-called tickles begin deep in the skull, behind the eyes. To say it’s a tickle is an inaccurate a description, so is to say it’s an itch. That makes it sound like something funny is about to happen. Itching sounds gross. The feeling is is like a lobotomy from the inside out. From just behind the right eye, it’s a small, throbbing sensation. Always the right eye. Not in a painful way, just slightly unpleasant. I could walk around wondering what’s that far off in the distance. And then it comes. Nothing else matters now but that tiny dot. It spreads out from there, behind the nose and below the brain.

It’s in between both eyes now. It’s a struggle to keep them open at any rate. I quickly raise my hand and clasp it over my nose. Inhale slightly to expand the feeling, tease it out, so I can catch it. It’s like tending to a fire. It could be gone with a hard pinch of the nostrils and a swift sniff, but why waste the moment?

The hand pinches the nostrils shut. The ice pick point stops briefly, then returns, building like a wave. Pinch the nostrils open and shut. Get some air in there. Shoulders rising up and down with each tiny breath. The head goes back, as if the angle would have any significant effect on stopping what’s about to happen.

>>22209604

Again, the eyes water. It’s being shoved out from the retinas through the pupils. The eyes shut tight now. The moment is at hand.

Sniff. Honk. Like a car hitting the brakes right before it’s too late. It sounds like all the consonants put together. My nostrils are pinched together an shut tight. The crisis is averted, but the feeling lingers. It takes less than a second to return, even stronger. Inhale, exhale. Ride the wave.

The urge is immediate now. Hand still up at the nose, ever at the ready. Eyes clenched shut in anticipation.

When it comes, it’s much more forceful, desperate. Like ramming a round peg into a square hole at hundreds of miles an hour. My shoulders are tensed, my chest hurts, my eyes are wet. Inhale, exhale, draw it out. Stopping it makes it stronger. It feels better this way, comes back more. Third time’s a charm, as they say. I love stopping my sneezes. It’s better than cracking my knuckles. And they’ve never come as frequently as they have lately.

The cold pricking sensation between my eyes continues, hammering down into the bone. Inhale sharply. Cut to black.

“Knghh-auh.” It sounds like a slur.

The strongest, the noisiest. It crashes once more against my shut nostrils. My whole body rattles against it. If I’m not careful a real sneeze might actually slip out next time. By now I’ve dived face first into a tissue. That would be the time to do it.

But the prickling feeling is gone. My nose is dripping. This must be punishment. I probably look really stupid doing it, but it feels amazing. Like hitting a comet back into space with a baseball bat. The fight against this natural reflex of the body must be what it feels like to wrestle an angel. I’m a wreck.

>>22208268
Wait until you’re 40 like me

>>22209405
I like gorillas.

I feel horrible... there's really not much to live for, I have a spouse and will be getting a house and have a baby on the way and I am so sad all the time. I have nothing going in, I tried a hobby to fill the time but it makes me miserable because I never feel good enough and I can't find anything to entertain myself. I don't feel entertained by anything, it's not really that I'm enjoying any moment so much as I'm desperately searching for something to make the time worth it. I can't find any good ways to pass the time. I am so bored... I wouldn't kill myself but I wish there was an easy way to go. I once almost bled out in an accident and I wish that would happen again sometimes...
Also I've been having a horrible time, sometime I used to talk to on discord was making me upset so I blocked them. Recently they've been following me around on different social media and saying awful things. I posted my art anonymously and they responded to it saying it was awful and to give up, it was on 4chan but I know it was them that said it. They message me on Twitter and have been messaging other people to talk to me, and then made a new account on discord to message me. I just hate it. It's stressing me out and they've said so many things just to upset me I just want to be left alone.

>>22209669
You have a wife and child you’re already doing better than me

>>22209408
Must be nice to get pay raises. I’m on social security due to mental issues so I literally don’t qualify

Him who knows that I know what he seeks to know, knows it well, while he who nows not, knows not what I know, or know not.

/lit/ sucks lately so i went on /mu/ wow man /mu/ really sucks you used to be able to go on there browse around and find so much rad shit to listen to, now it's so bad the "prog rock general" is the only promising thread, i mean imagine that. man, this whole site is just going down the tubes.

>>22209706
I am woman but yeh. I appreciate what I have it just sucks not knowing how to achieve real peace. I have an objectively good life and there's nothing else I could want so I am not sure what else there is to do. For a long time it's chasing happiness, "when I am done with school I'll be happy" "when I am financially stable I'll be happy" "when I am married" "when I have a hobby" "when I have a baby" and here is the end of the line and now what. I guess contentness is internal and I never figured out how to achieve that... it feels like I'm waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come but I don't know when or if it'll arrive.

Went to a Chinese restaurant and they yelled eera sha mayseh or something at me, so I left.

>>22206506
Missing this gmod server i used to frequent regularly, but currently living out my car so can't really game.
That's what's so weird about online friends/attachments. Like I didn't realize how emotionally invested I was in these total strangers, avatars on my screen, until I couldn't see them any more.
It's very odd I feel emotionally invested in these pixels ony screen that can disappear at any moment, but over months I've become accustomed to all the regulars and it gavemy life some semblance of normality to have this cast of characters I could return to every night, and now it's just gone (for the time being)

>>22209272
Kek
>>22209308
I agree with what you say. I’m mostly interested in Sci-Fi /lit/ (particularly involving R.A. Heinlein or H. G. Wells or maybe even Lucian of Samosata) while fantasy has somewhat become stuck in Northern Europe and I haven’t found much modern fantasy lit in a Byzantine-eqse, Arabian/Persian-esqe or Asian. While there may be evidence to the contrary, it hasn’t gotten to my fancy about it. I usually try to start threads related to the board, but they usually get filtered either within two minutes or 6 hours.

>>22206506
I wanted to go out drinking but decided to hit the gym instead. Kind of wish I also went out, there’s this arcade bar that I wanted to try but I think I’ll go tomorrow

>>22207134
Disappear and start over, it’ll be less consequential than having an affair

>>22207761
>mfw 20 yrs old

Ive found a way of having fun by myself now that I got a Job and money, its nice

>>22210020
H.G Wells is great, recently read through both WoW and Tono Bongay.
He's kind of a basic author, but he's interesting in how he captures that modernist zeitgeist whilst also expressing a kind of skepticism to technological progress--that maybe instead of evolving we are actually devolving. That in our technological sophistication we have become decadent and dependent.
His novels always have this kind of detached birds eye view, they attempt to caoture the general picture of a changing society. To capture a world im transition from the Victorian world of relatively settled static social classes to a modern chaotic world dominated by a newly ascendant commercial class.

>>22210039
Alright. Well, what about Heinlein.

>>22208241
>What would be a fun way to celebrate?
It'd be by getting a blowjob from a girl you met at Barnes & Noble.

>>22208620
Unfathomably based if true.

>>22208824
Post your stack/ shelf, and which phone do you use?

>>22206506
Started a new job in security. Completely shitty but it's better than nothing.
I got the impression they are extremely desparate for workers cause there was really no interview. I walked into the place and within seconds they're asking me when I can start and issuing me a uniform.
First week I'm working at a construction site in the middle of nowhere, an empty desert, and they tell me absolutely nothing except to go this place and call the guy, the foreman. Which I do, he shows me around and says my job is basically just to keep an eye out on the construction equipment, and maybe do a patrol in my car once a hour.
Anyways there's this other security putfit out there since the construction is right next to this Google site that has super tight security. And fancy cars coming in all through the night.
Im walking down the road and this tech bro pulls over. Sees i have a security uniform says "oh you're security for a second I thought it was just a random person"
I make the mistake of hesitating in my response which arises his suspicion. I just say "yeah im security ...uh yeah". That extra yeah makes him suspicious so as he's turning to leave he suddenly turns his car around and demands I see head security down the road by this red sports car.
At this point now I'm suspicious my managers didn't tell me there was any other security detail out there, so I'm wondering if he's trying to rob me or something.
Drive down to the security trailer fat guy im a beanie comes out of the red car. I explain I'm out here comtracted to do securitu with the construction company and give him my managers phone #.
Everything seems fine now, he believes me and i go back to my spot over-seeing the site. Then another car pulls up to me with a different security guy, and he's grilling me. Taking photos of my car, asks to see my license, where I come from etc. I think they thought I was someone from a competitor ccompany scoping out cause I had taken a couple pictures.
He goes away says I should just sit tite and several minutes later this white van pulls up right behind my car, the middle of nowhere, and I'm convinced it was with security and they downloaded my data or something. Cause this vanstips right behind me and just sits for 5-10 minutes and then leaves right back where it came from.
The moral of this story is do not fuck with Google and most certainly never take photos near any Google site.

>>22209074
It's a cool way of thinking that combines questioning everything with a genuine desire to find real meaning and be true to ourselves.

>>22209332
Profound and pristine.

>>22209428
Sweetest tasteth.

>>22209661
Mutt's Law.

>>22209669
Ask your wife for a lush, luscious blowjob. it's bound to improve things for you.

>>22210032
>mfw she's underage, but I still keep going.

love, romance, and eroticism have disappeared from the world, replaced by quick to the point porn

they were too slow.

Kitsch is emotion deemed unearned, unwarranted, or misplaced by the observer.

>>22210114
Stranger In a Strange Land you may like for the former. It doesn’t have the ladder.

>>22210069
Barnes and Noble is pretty pozzed desu. I tried hanging around Vromans to pick up chicks but I'm pretty aure all the women could instantly tell what I was trying to do

Thing I hate nost about myself is my social incompetence. I just freeze up and cant think of anything to say and when I do say anything I'm so nervous that I sound like a total retard.

>>22209787
Same anon, but this might come as a shock to you but I’m a 41 man with autism in a supported living institution. The only thing things that keep me going are playing guitar, writing down my metaphysical worldviews on substack, moderating a forum (ye it’s for men’s rights and there’s a strict ‘no females’ allowed policy but that’s par for course) and smoking copious amounts of tobacco everyday. I live in a hole in the wall apartment in Ohio. Most women I’ve dated were totally disloyal and the last woman I dated tried pressing rape charges on me. I am not well, but I get by.

>>22210165
Meant to say ‘41 year old man’ but you get the gist

Test

>>22210165
Rough. At least you are content.

>>22210165
That's rough if you've had trouble with partners in the past. That stuff is difficult I was very bitter at men for a while after I had a bad experience but sometimes it's better to get back in the game and try again, but know what to look out for. Me and my husband are a perfect match, it's hard to believe how different it is to any relationship in the past. Do you think you'll ever date women again or are you content as it is?

Anthropology seems completely useless to me. Anything you can "learn" about human nature should be completely self-evident if you aren't a mechanized, oversocialized fag.

Stuck in my mind, replaying all the unhappy memories and regrets again. I wish i could just escape this and live again.

The last 7 years are a cautionary proof to the power of learned behaviors as opposed to decade long good conditioning. Presuming that all behaviors are rooted in a habitual repetition of processes, and that all behaviors are implemented with an end of means in mind, this renders humans nothing but highly sophisticated programmable automatons. Even creativity is rooted in repetition.
Anyways, I'm depressed. I got myself here. I let fear consume me. Irrational fear. When I was younger I used to play stoic. I've been taught to confront instead of evade. I looked forward to things, and the unknown. The likelihoods of good and bad are equal. SO why allocate a disporortionate attention to either?
But then I found fear. My mind build castles of outlandishly nightmarish consequences. I saw a friend retire to bed early. I'd never sat in bed before 10pm by that point. I never exerted a degree of individuality, so when I was told that sleeping before nighttime was unacceptable, I took the instruction for face value and didn't argue. But then, monkey see monkey do. Later, other things came. Sleep was a choice activity. The only thing from which one derived pleasure. Chronic procrastination. Chronic sadness. Chronic whatever. And then treatment. Light at the end of the tunnel. Blessed detachement. Good detachement. Nothing matters (good). I'm so glad (ambivalent) nothing is that serious.

Relapsed? I got myself to this mental place. Like it or hate I am responsible for my thoughts. I let my mind wander back to this place of evil. And the apathy is somehow more insidious than before. But that's alright. You could be ambivalent and functional. My executive disregulation, my unwitting and simultaneously tenacious commitment to self-fucking-sabotage. What happened? How could my faculties shirk from a simple evolutionary mechanism of survival? There's a disconnect up there in my prefrontal cortex. Some subspecies of a lobotomy. Some malignant blood clot or aneurysm that's effectively crippled the basest functions of my brain. The simple childlike ability to conceive of consequences, to associate natural repercussions to actions (or rather inaction).

Despite it all (or maybe because of it), my new status as invalid won't curb my incessant, futile search for a reason. Why. Why do I do this. Why do I continue doing this. WHy did it happen this way. Why. I know of course that this feverish need to ascribe reasoning to something meaningless and absurd is vain. I stumbled once, lost momentum, stumbled again, led myself here in the trenches. Everything else. The apathy, anhedonia, shame, aimlessness, those are all natural universal consequences to the first three blunders, rather, to my problematic adaptability to the blunders.

I turned into a pussy overnight. I just have this festering disgust regarding all my "friends" and old acquaintances. I'm highly attuned to the evil emanating from all of them and to the evil in my own soul. One of my oldest friends is an impressionable little paraqueet. A conventional corporate drone. The kind who replaced religious fanaticism with corporate idealism. One of my other friends is devolving into an eating disorder. The poor cunt. But mostly they're all doing better. So I loathe them. I hate them. I envy them.

>>22210456
my friends disappoint or piss me off enough that i would launch them out of a cannon
so when i get like that i talk to them about it

i think it makes more sense to ask here than anywhere else:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjS2ZOuRnocRCZgMBfBNXe04yCWR0ZZJC
i want to listen to music somewhat similar to above, but i'm not really finding much.
depressing and/or funky, dirty electric guitars. perhaps jazzy/mellow
also,
https://open.spotify.com/track/3lNEQSXLlYdxVt0UZKuBGF?si=d62e5dbaa52442ee
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=403PPfSQ0_s
what are these be categorized as?
thanks

Why do people seem to ignore the civil war in england as the first "modern revolution"? The middle classes rose up, defeated the aristocracy in a civil war, beheaded their former king, then granted themselves unlimited power and started persecuting catholics. More than a century before the french did the exact same routine. Yet everybody thinks of the latter as the first "modern revolution".

>>22209564
Extremely difficult, but possible. I will add I haven't been successful yet, but I haven't watched literally any television or movie in about 4 years, other than news when there is a happening. It's a start I guess.

Another book, another movie, another workout, another food, another talk, another work, another accident, another monologue, another crisis, another hope, another cycle

>>22210677
Post you desktop.

A lot of Scandinavian guys have little baby faces.

>>22210593
It’s insensible hate born out of my own insecurities. I have license to prattle about ethical platitudes and to preach from atop a high horse about muh empathy, muh universal degradation, muh moral decrepitude when i am sheltered and insulated from circumstances that would truly challenge my rigid ethical moralism and put it in jeopardy. I’m sure merely rubbing shoulders with the working class is enough to dissuade you from championing any cause that would benefit the rabble. I’m sure working for a mega corporation, it is understandable to be desensitized to the subhumanoids who inadvertently get fucked by the megacorpo quest for maximizing profit. That’s fine. I understand radical utilitarianism. I’m all for a cunt who proclaims proudly that they slave away to get money to buy things to cultivate prestige, to solidify status. That’s fine. These are fine objectives. But i don’t understand why i am repulsed by people who adhere to them. It’s like i suddenly overnight have decided that everyone is a paragon of virtue, and now rediscovering the shitty, abominable, self centered drives of humanity, i am shocked despite having made this discovery many years before. Either assessment is reductive.

>>22209564
Feasible, the amounts of times I've done things out of real boredom for the last 10 years are countable on one hand.
Appreciating what is always present and around you makes this feeling disappear.

What would be the best books to learn about US, especially the current dilemma of today but in a narrative Historical manner. Tocqueville, Putnum's Bowling Aline, Caldwell's Age of Entitlement is up there WHT next?

>>22209778
I used to be a /mu/tant, I'd have all of this somewhat obscure knowledge of who was in what band, when a new band was touring... The music up until 2015 was genuinely better, then I found out that's when pitchfork was sold, I didn't even really like pitchfork much, but it makes so much sense.
Now I fill my head with useless knowledge of literature and philosophy as if it were like following bands.

I died a decade ago
How do I start living again

I'm very tempted to trade in my car and get a Tacoma, are they worth it?

Anyone else feel braver when you haven't nutted for a while? Especially the day after nutting two or three times, I have very strong physical reactions to stress. It's like I can feel all nerves in my body electrified.
Something tells me this shouldn't be going on, but there's got to be a reason why boxers don't have sex a couple days before a match. That is, I can't be the only one feeling this.

In a discussion with a friend. Had my own “speak” moment with him confessing that i was the most depressed person he knows and that i’ve seemed that way for a long time. The he proceeds to chipper about his own diagnosis and how things are getting better etc.
Now i wanna cut him off.

The more I try to not be him, the more he cements himself in me
The more I try, the harder it becomes
His influence washes over me
I used to think that I could separate him from me, but now I see the seed was poisoned from the start, and I was always broken, never normal

>>22210245
Probably. Not sure. The women that are housed in the same agency all tend to whores, bitter or they enjoy fornicating with niggers. I just can’t win

>>22210298
It’s fun to look into though

>>22211058
Yeah I get more racist too (didn't think it was possible lol)

I have completely fucked my life
>Finish college in 2020, graduate in my house alone
>spend a year not working slowly becoming fat and depressed
>gf leaves me
>move to the city I went to college and work for a year just basically working to pay rent and drink
>Move back in with parents and work for a year to save money for a Classics masters
>Save up enough with everything in a budget. Even teach myself latin and Ancient Greek to a starter level and read all the classical literature I can get my hands on
>College asks for 3k to pay for "admin and exam fees"
>Budget fails
>End up applying to and getting in Law School and can do the degree at home while working. Have an interest in law but the career would take a long time to set up and I have no passion compared to classics, English, history, philosophy etc.
>Find out that my other application for an Online Classics MA was accepted but they never told me until I asked for my application to be cancelled after paying the first year of law school fees
>tfw going to be stuck at home until I'm 28 doing this law degree with nobody around only to be faced with more fees for another one year degree to become a barrister (advocacy lawyer) or to become a solicitor and work pushing paper for 30k a year if I'm lucky for 15 hours a day
What the fuck, everything was going so well, I'm wasting my 20s at home doing nothing, saving up but having no money and my dream of being in Academia is dead in the water. I'm so fucking depressed lads. /blogpost

>>22211292
Academia is a scam, you got dodged a bullet there.

I had a this positive moment yesterday. However I absolutely hate for it ever happening. Its just like going thirsty for the longest time and then one moment you taste just enough water to know that its a water. It doesnt make you less thirsty but feels like a cruel joke because it happened. Pure pain.

>>22211391
>Isn't the fact that we masturbate at all (and regard the behavior as clearly sexual) evidence that sexuality is not primarily oriented towards reproduction or defined by object choice?
Maybe, but that would be more like a self-soothing behavior, because most people would rather have sex than masturbate. So they imagine those things, people usually imagine some scenario whenever they are masturbating, which usually involves someone else, and forming a "bond" with them. It is no wonder that people get into onlyfans and drop a lot of money into girls that they never actually met before but spend a lot of time masturbating looking at their photos and videos.

Cars are retarded. Getting this piece of shit inspected and repaired every year is not only a racket but totally stupid.

>>22211419
Im dumb but I do not get your post. My positive moment wasnt sexual at all.

>>22211484
It was meant to some other dude. Jannies deleted our thread.

>>22211488
That was my first idea. Sorry for bothering.

I made a lot of mistakes from 25 to 29. I know where I want to be in life by 35 now but I think it’s too late to really recover.

I think my mother hates me.

I am going to (possibly) sell my soul and get an education in the IT field.

Is it possible to influence culture in a positive way by "seeding" a positive impulse in a catchy enough way that it spreads exponentially and soon becomes habitual? I was thinking about how "shrill gotcha-ism" works, how the default tendency when someone calls another person out for saying something offensive/bad is to accept the call-out as factual rather than assuming it's skewed and checking the source.

For example I watched five minutes of some liberal video on right-wing media, and noticed the way he takes someone saying "things were honestly better in some ways for gay people before the recent LGBT culture insanity," interprets this as "Everything was better for gays in the 1950s," and then adds a twist of "this person is LITERALLY saying gays should be IMPRISONED and EXECUTED" at the end.

This made me think, I wonder if a few decades ago, the default reflex of a normal person would be to go "now wait a second, he didn't quite say that.." or at least "that's a big claim, I should think about how he's making this claim." Even if the person making the claim is on their side politically, and the person whose words are being skewed is their enemy, they still probably had more of a reflex to go "that's kind of twisting what he said to be fair."

What is that default reflex or instinct? Where did it go? Could you get it back? If you somehow convinced everybody, on every political side, to start doing this again, not as an ideological commitment but training themselves psychologically at a lower level to stop and think, would the collective shrillness and back-and-forth culture war shit decrease?

The spirits keep approaching me and asking when I’m going to get up and do something. I’ve kept them quite with assurances so far, but what am I going to do. I can’t just keep sitting around reminiscing with them about the latest this and that they’re missing out on now that they’ve gone.
Why does the loss of a loved one anchor me? Is it that? Or is it fear of dying?

>>22211359
Do you even know what the tenured salaries are these days?

I was depressed all week until a moment ago when I was lured into a coinslot thread. I'm so doomed, only retarded things like Niko's ass make me feel carefree happy

>>22211560
Why?

>>22211292
So assuming you don’t have a very particular background, a Classics Master’s degree would be a complete waste of time and money given that that the only way to work “in Classics” is in research or teaching, which plainly isn’t going to happen without a Doctorate, and most likely a competitive Doctorate, not some shitty online one. So you dodged a bullet by not paying for a shitty Classics degree. A law degree can get you into academia, at least it can hear in the states. You can teach law courses and you can also work in compliance as an administrator. I would be more concerned that this law school is a legitimate and good law school, since I’m not aware of any programs here in the United States which are online and which also have a good reputation. Now, as someone who (sort of) works in academia now as an administrator I wouldn’t advise you to gun for academia but if academia is really your dream, then you should do a few things. I would look up the de facto requirements to teach law in your country because you might find a law degree is enough or you might find that another degree after a law degree is effectively required. Then, I would look up what the de facto requirements to teach Classics are in your country. Now you’ll have the de facto requirements to enter academia. What you’ll probably find is that you need a competitive PhD to teach Classics and a competitive JD or a competitive JD and competitive JD/JSD to teach law. So what you do is you get good grades in your law program for a year, and then you either transfer into the best in-person law program you can get into or you apply to the best in-person Classics PhD program you get into. From there, your path to academia is at least somewhat visible.

>>22211611
I’m sorry to tell you this but tenure is off the table for newer faculty. You won’t get tenure.

>>22211680
Not a yank, job market is much better here in Europe, especially when I definitely would have got a 1:1. OU is respected for PHD picks too. Plenty of very good programmes I could have gotten into off that. Teaching law here is actually something struggling lawyers do to make ends meet but apparently it's been drying up lately so idk. At the minute I just want to moan because in about a months time I'll be working two jobs: one manual labour and the other free to get experience as a solicitor's assistant/paralegal whatever for my CV. and then will have a law degree to do on top of that.

I wish there was a way to become braver.
I don't mind going for anything, against the fear, but that doesn't change anything about my profuse sweating, shaking and nausea. + if the fear goes on for several days, it becomes even way worse cause of the lack of sleep.

>>22211680
How much does a newly appointed Assistant Professor of, let's say, English Literature, make in the States?

I always heard people say things like "I write because I must" or "I write for me, if anyone reads it or not doesn't matter" but to me this never made sense. I like writing, but I could do other things. And more than anything, I never saw the point in writing something that would not be read. Like talking to a wall. It's useless to write something if it won't be read. And I guess that means I'm not really a writer, because I don't think I could ever care about writing the way these other people do. To me it's just a tool, and why would I use a hammer when there's no fucking nails anyway?

>>22211776
I use writing as a means to think abotu whatever that I feel like thinking. As in thought pops in my head, I say ok, you are a thought, it keeps bothering me until I start writing or thinking about it.

>>22211758
It various too much from locale and university to give a concrete number but at my university I wouldn’t expect it to exceed $50k. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a lot lower than that honestly.

There’s a lot on my mind that’s really been bothering me lately.

>>22211784
that's lucky. I have to drag good writing out of my mind like pulling teeth. if I just sat around I'd never even come up with a single original sentence, much less entire thoughts.

>>22206506
mishima was gay i think

OP here. Just realizing I did a lazy dog edition last year. Sorry for the repeat

>>22211602
That woman is objectively unattractive, but I have a thing for red hair so to me, subjectively, she is very attractive

>>22211664
She’s just never shown me affection and is always argumentative and combative with me, but she’s not that way with my other siblings.

>>22211924
It's actually super fitting because his books suck exactly as much as he was gay. Unfortunately we really can't strive or express ourselves beyond the circumstances of our lives. At least niggers believe that, and they have big dicks so you have to assume it's true.

>>22211728
Still, I find it hard to believe that online degrees or master’s degrees are worthwhile. If you can find a way to teach or publish research with just a master’s then that’s fine but it’s unlikely. Otherwise, it’s only good for getting into higher programs like law or doctoral programs but online are generally very bad for that here and I would imagine it’s the same there.

I have limited energy and I feel my stockpile diminishing everyday. Like I have to force myself to do shit every single day of my life. Going out with friends, seeing family, going to work, whatever, has become extremely taxing. I have to play this spontaneous man willing to do everything part when I really don't want to do anything. I can't believe everyone's base state is to be active all the time and that I'm just being a lazy motherfucker. For now I keep forcing myself and seem outgoing in the literal sense but I think I'm about to go mad. I want to rest and write in my room for maybe two months straight.

>>22211975
sitting around all day isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me. even if you have friends who sit around with you, it can still get pretty lonely.

bros im literally hearing explosions outside, im calling the cops right now

>>22212004
it's 4th of july weekend you dumb ass what is it your first year in america

>>22206511
I haven’t had sex in 17 years and I’m 25.

the internet has ruined my life
quick access to information has showed me that the world is much smaller and emptier than it seems. everything is reduced down to a fucking youtube video for troglodyte normies to gobble up, there isnt even anything interesting to delve into. i might as well kill myself because all i do is stare at the wall.

BBC/Blacked fetish makes sense in the eastern hemisphere, between Asians and Africans because they both are sort of a filthy kawabunga type people. Just as smoking weed might be a serious crime in their hemisphere,

>>22206511
>>22212015
I haven't had sex in 28 years and I'm 29. My mom caught my dad molesting me as a newborn (sucking on my penis).

I've gotten into a habit of pasting quotes from books I like or marking them with bookmarks but now I'm reading books that have so many lines and paragraphs in them that I love that I can't keep stopping to trace them all
I think I will just finish them once without making any notes and then in time of boredom I will go back to reread them in a pdf form and just copy paste what catches my eye into a separate file

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9SchUO-Qr8
this is like a song for all the lonely dudes of olde-/lit/ when it was mostly shy college guys who read to much and never get laid. now it's mostly seething political extremists from the third world who also never get laid. still for any old heads, it wouldn't be vain to think this song is about you.

>>22207135
Cats are invasive and devastate local ecologies. Terrible creatures that do nothing but kill what little remains of nature's beauty in suburban backyards. Fuck you.

>>22211292
My job as a traveling surgical tech makes 6 figures and I only had to go to 1 year of trade school. It is also interesting enough, see a lot of vile shit. Just an idea.

>>22212064
Do you think this fucked you up?

>>22208268
Hey, your birthday is also on 07/01? Happy birthmas anon! Our b day is the same day as the beginning of the Battle of Gettysburg, and also the same day as Canada Day.

Im the most unloveable man.

>>22212140
No, I was a newborn. I'm pretty sure all that repressed memory/trauma stuff is actually a myth.

>>22212166
Nuh uh

>>22212166
no i am. i look ok so i guess i could get laid sometimes if i wanted, but i know once they "get to know me" and realize i'm quite unassertive and unproductive with a tendency to slack off and take the easy way out whenever possible, they will disappear in a second. waste of fucking time.

I think I'm a DYEL but when I actually looked at myself in the mirror after showering just now I realized that I'm kind of built.
I never wear revealing clothes and don't talk to women so it doesn't matter though.

This is it, I would rather chat with AI. People are too dumb and retarded. We are fucked, most people would end up rather wanting to chat with an AI. People just don' t seem to be worth your time

>>22212221
>i guess i could get laid sometimes if i wanted
that means you are not unlovable, you're just an asshole

>>22208268
>>22212151
no shit? I'm a halfway boy too. Happy birthday to all of us

>>22212221
>look ok so i guess i could get laid sometimes if i wanted, but i know once they "get to know me"
I know that feel all too well. Being honest and being dishonest is terrible for me.

>>22212244
getting laid is not the same as being loved

>>22212247
Yes sir! Drink a beer for me boyo; I will be sure to do the same

>>22212186
Thats good then.

This is literally me. Books for that feel?

>>22211593
I don't know, but I think comedy and satire can make people come down from that intense certainty that their viewpoint is the only correct one. Especially if the humor makes fun of and points out the flaws of everyone. I remember something Bill Burr said about calling politicians people with "blue ties and red ties". So, just because "your guy" has a certain color tie doesn't mean they're not both trying to screw you over.
>What is that default reflex or instinct?
Confirmation bias? If someone says something that you already believe you'll be gung-ho about it and accept it immediately. If you hate a group or political party and someone shits on it you'll be really happy.

I had a dream once. Of a place like heaven, or hell, or the Dark Tower. The point was, in that dream, once you entered this place, everything changed. Everything that came before did not matter. I'm still haunted by that feeling.

>>22212330
Catcher in the Rye
idk why, but everyone seems to say they "found themselves" after reading that book. so maybe you can find yourself too.

>>22211935
Beauty is subjective and fluid

>We are at war with vermin: French Police unions release an official statement on violent protests

>The letter added that they will also judge the extent of the consideration given by the government, saying that if the officers will not be given greater legal protection and more resources in the future, "tomorrow they will be in resistance".

>In their official communique, they remarked, “Faced with these savage hordes, it’s no longer enough to call for calm, it must be imposed.”

>The Unions further asserted that like the majority of citizens, their colleagues too can no longer bear the tyranny of these ‘violent minorities’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRj5KT3742o

Having your brain back is a weird thing I've got no idea who I'm going to be after this. Guess that's a point of hope.

The ass is in the ass.

28, completely wasted life, no ambitions, no purpose,never heald a girl's hand. How to muster up the courage to just get a prostitute and then blow my face off?

>>22211935
>woman
She looks like she's 14

>>22212429
Old enough to breed, old enough for sneed

>>22212419
>i can' t find a gf
No, get over it, it is overrated if it just for the sake of it, and considering that you can' t even handle being yourself, you are better without a wife and kids bothering you. incels literally have no idea of how good they have it.

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0512
Universal Adam

Last morning was a telling chance
To compare the sounds of crows and passerines.
In a dawn headily mixed of light and mist, quietly inviting.

More at play than war the crows
Dominated the air well above rooftops
With faintly hilarious caw and black wing sweep

While passerine songs glittered from within dense shade
Of huge trees, rather more like aggregates of
Faraway stars than persons

Until interpreted with conscious license.

>>22207070
Go for it and see what happens, but keep in mind that the gift for narration and gab are very separate things. As Janet Dahl put it, "One of the reasons those shows are so terrible is that the voice makes you think you can just prattle."
This is not to say that Stacy Keach wasn't among the best at what he did, when keeping to a script. Likewise, Stevens is one of the worst recorded readers of his own work, and Marianne Moore among the best.

>>22212402
get a load of this comment i saw on yahoo:

>Communications is key to stopping and preventing riots, as demonstrated by the two Roman legions who put down the Riots of Alexandria and thereby established the all-time best practices for how to stop a riot. An offer of amnesty was made to those rioters agreeing to surrender, who after surrendering were taken outside the city and burned alive. Afterwards, the rioters who failed to surrender were crucified by the legionnaires during the next few days. That's how you put down riots - COMMUNICATIONS.

>>22206506
Putting my thoughts on paper after a continuous streak of set backs..
I love the struggle really, this is what life is about. Picking yourself up again and going along!

>>22212581
Yes, I'm learning this too. A week and a half into a breakup with my SO of six years. So much opportunity for growth.

i had a dollar left in my steam account for like a year so i finally spend it to get payday2 for 99 cents in the summer sale, but like, it turns out that shit's 87 gigs. it's a game from 2013. how can it be 87 gigs? not that i don't have space for it, but i mean that's just awfully big. maybe i will install it tonight.

I will never be racist.

>>22212657
i wonder what possesses a man to virtue signal into the void anonymously.

How do I enter the Between?

im giving this album a re-listen after a few yrs and i finally get it now

>>22212681
You need the Password. Do you know it?

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0513
Antonininus Pius

Something about the least arbitrary authority of the ancient word
Reminds me of the estrangement of wisdom
From despairing desire:

I live well enough as it's possible to, and desire no more,
For any fault greater than that
Can only be mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shw35IT5bY0&list=RDiQP7z_FN2us&index=2

>>22212010
He's french you retard

>>22212776
KEK

>>22206506
0514
Lucretius

Picturing him in the leather passenger seat
Glazed in the gliding of dome
I take for granted

I wonder what he would make of what's to come,
Whether he would see it as worse
Than what's before.

Of course there would be a lot to explain,
Too much except for the blank
Of language everywhere,

Except for where we are for here and now.

>>22212429
Damn, and she already hit the wall?

>>22211975
Most people do basically nothing. They’re not active at all.

>>22209605
I giggled thanks anon.

>>22212419
An awkward and expensive sexual experience will not be worth anything.

I’m at a bit of a loss regarding what to do next career-wise. I suppose the only obvious thing is to pursue a graduate degree but I don’t find that particularly appealing.

I think more than 3 years is too long for any one job if you can help it.

Sometimes I wish I had picked a career I was excited about, but then I remember that there were no careers I was excited about.

i'm mad tired i just want to lay down and do nothing. i can't get energy man. my watch says i walked five miles, but that's not much i shouldn't be tired like this. it's weird man. i didn't eat anything unusual. i feel like i just want to go to bed, but i'm not really sleepy. i'm brewing a coffee. i don't think it's gonna make any difference.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWvXSSXUwnw
>shakespeare, dickens, melville, FOLEY
i'm still trying to figure out

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0515
Athletic Angel

You never said or did the slightest mean to me
Nor to anyone I knew, however casually.

You're the best man I've known,
Sweet beyond belief.

Cultures in decline are always afraid of making judgments about things, while cultures at the peak of their power are very quick to do so. Gibbon could name his work "the decline and fall" without anyone "ackshually"-ing him about it, while nowadays if you don't say the whole shibboleth of there never having been a decline and fall of the roman empire you're looked at as a dilettante at best, or an ideologue at worst.

>>22213150
people are just less confident about grand narratives now and rightfully so

my body knows chaos is the answer

I've witnessed things.

you can do a ton of grad degrees, but that first bachelors experience is a once in a lifetime, so make sure you do good stuff you'll enjoy being nostalgic about later. it's almost like nietzsche's eternal return. you're going to return to those memories over and over through the rest of your lifetime, so make sure you do stuff worth remembering.

>>22213200
Nietzsche's eternal return doesn't mean accumulating le good experiences for some meme of how you will be so nostalgic later, it's about loving suffering

>>22213241
it's about living your life in a way that when you repeat it in exactly the same way it won't suck.

>>22212240

I was having this exact thought as I was training one for a job. It's also funny that maybe a week or two earlier I heard Jim Keller make a statement on a podcast that he thinks everyone will have AI best friends in 5 years and sort of brushed it off as crazy but now I can see that this is a very real outcome.

>>22213244
no it's literally not, because the whole point is that you aren't in control of life. the idea that you can make your life "good" and avoid suffering is a meme. the whole point of eternal return is to desire suffering.

>>22213248
>the whole point of eternal return is to desire suffering.
absolutely deranged take

>>22213245
They are almost perfect in some sense, their only problem is that they aren' t made of flesh. So you can' t hang out with chat gpt

>>22213252
it's Nietzsche's take

Findom is so hot.

>>22213255
wrong. but you also failed to notice i did not say anything about suffering or not suffering, i said do something worth remembering.

I'm really good at cleaning my teeth. I can really get in there and make them sparkle. Fuck.

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0516
Arrangement In Artificial Light

I put a bunch of heirloom petunias into an irridescent glass
And am quite pleased with the effect.

It's interesting to compare that full one with its empty twin just on the side
Which also rests like an empty bubble on heavy wood furniture,

Is is no more or less fabulous, somehow necessary
Too subtle to notice or believe it's there

Unless you're used to gardening.

Afraid to be alone. Hollow. Scared of the future more than the present. No one to confide in. The last tree waiting to be felled. Please God give me strength; thank you for warmlines.

>>22213327
I've always enjoyed the feeling of being alone in nature, just as much I enjoy air conditioned rooms when heat waves comes. I am not afraid of solitude, nor poverty, but only lack of possibility for playful conversation.

i think i'm going to stop listening to music unless i'm going for walk. i notice it's easy to just waste time on sites like this when there's music in the background that keeps a low intensity dopamine feed going. shut it off, and you become more aware of how bad this site is. i'm essentially wasting time like a teenager watching mtv, but it's youtube in one tab that's always playing the video you want to see when you want to see it. then you can just mindlessly refresh this bullshit in the other tab. you think it's not totally mind numbing cuz you're talking about books or something, but the level of discourse is incredibly low. man this is so bad.

>>22213395
>i'm essentially wasting time like a teenager watching mtv
What fucking decade do you think you're from

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0517
Monument

This lithe little chick
Is always happy to see me as

I her because how instantly she gets all that,
How encyclopedic her memory is,

How effortless it is
As any age.

I'm eating an apple pie in honor of the British soldiers who perished in the American Revolutionary War.

I just don't know what to do. I am absolutely stumped. I dug myself into a hole, and now well, I'm stuck. The shovel I have to get out is a plastic spoon and I'm not getting anywhere.

What do I mean by this? Well, I put my career on the line in getting a very specific industry license, which you get via a 4 hour long examination. The study material is a textbook. And it's just so fucking boring. I can barely get through a couple pages. It's very technical, very dry, full industry rules and regulations. I've also already taken the exam, and failed 2 times already. 3 strikes and you're out.

I'm rereading the material and I just can't do it. Fuck. There's just no shortcut. I have 1 month to study until I go at it again, and that's it you know, it's over. I just don't know what to do. Why did I agree to do this in the first place? Why do things happen as they do in life? I get a promotion if I make it, I basically get fired if I don't, not because I failed the exam, but because I'm the asshole that keeps failing something they agreed to do.

Sigh. I don't know anymore. I'm gonna try again. No games, no shortcuts. Just me, this desk, the book, and my reading lamp. I have no choice but to brute force this, it's the only way, I just have to dig myself out with this spoon.

>>22212330

AAAHHHHH i'll never finish this novel!!!!

>>22213261
I also like being dominated by Finns

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0518
Rural Corridor

i'll admit that I never take that route
At less than 80, sometimes 90 or more

It feels good, particularly in the broadest daylight
With the air conditioning running, the engine almost inaudible

And no cops around to tell me to keep it on the ground.

Being human fucking sucks. Why did I have to be born as the most social animal on the planet after ants and other bugs? I could've been a turtle chilling in some nigger's garden but instead I'm stuck there doing shit I don't want to do to earn maybe a hug or a pat on the back. Because this is the only thing that really matters to this fucking species.

And don't say I'm wrong you niggers because if everyone except you suddenly died you would lose all reasons to live. Except maybe if you're really religious but even then that would still be a pain in the ass to know you are alone in the whole world and keep living knowing you will never cross the path of another human being. You'd probably fuck dogs or whatever so fuck you. Anyways I wish I really didn't care about people but I'm not. My friends and family are nonexistent and I'm fucking starving from affection and it's not like I can find a hug buddy on Tinder or whatever. Bloody hell

>>22212441
All pedos must hanged from a very thin silk or nylon rope so that they may die a excruciating death.

>>2221258
Did you guys have intense, vigorous break-up sex?

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0518
Matthew

I invited a delinquent neighbor boy I used to be afraid of
To my roof, and liked him instantly for going there.

He proved a most agile fucker, competent
And sweet, surprisingly urbane

And articulate, if not used to intellectual adventure
Of the Pleiades, gossip about vast industries.

I'm a knower.

apparently not a shower

Actually I shower every day.

knower of shower

>>22213694
>>22213725
>>22213728
>>22213732
Lulz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AyHdCT8GTY&list=RDMM&index=12

I want want to engage in unfathomably cruel combat on the Eastern Front (1941-1945).
I want to fight in Operation Barbarossa, In Battle of Moscow, In Stalingrad, At Kursk, In Korsun–Cherkassy pocket, during Dnieper–Carpathian offensive, In Kamenets–Podolsky pocket, & die defending Pomerania from the Red Army during Operation Solstice.

Jail is an insane place.

>>22213857
Did you go there? What was it like?

>>22213862
Nah, I was watching this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5g3c43YEas

>>22213864
Interesting stuff

You might enjoy this https://youtu.be/KDTXlE7FhSQ
World's most successful jewel thief reads his memoirs of max security prison. It's hard to believe some of the stories convicts tell about prison, but they seem to be true based on known facts and consistency between accounts. It's a dark world.

>>22213857
Been there, for 30 days, and enjoyed it rather more than most would, mostly because I contrived to be in a psych ward, and enjoyed most of it with a harmless, even lovable, but hopelessly ADHD guy. There are far worse prisons, for example Chicago's nightmarish Pacific Garden Mission, or any psychiatric institution having to do with the super rich sadistic and power-hungry Mohammad Butt of Northwest Indiana. One could write a whole modern epic in the mood of Upton Sinclair.

>>22213905
*Of course one could leave it to others with slight indications, and the fun begins.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI569nw0YUQ&list=RDMM&index=29

>>22213905
ok short timer

>>22214001
How long were you in and how do live now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aigtAQXM3c&list=RDMM&index=30

slept 11h for no reason

>>22214031
Midsummer is plenty for me, before and and after: I traipse shirtless at all hours this time of year, and enjoy every moment of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aigtAQXM3c&list=RDMM&index=30

Twitter is fucking kill. Twitter is BROKEN. This might be it. This might be when the bird dies for good. We'll see.

>>22214040
More in the news is Reddit. Apparently you can monetize anything, even as the planet is obviously dying, completely dead by 2100 or so,

4chan: A window to the horrors within the hearts and minds of men.

>>22214146
>4chan: A window to the horrors within the hearts and minds of men.

>>22214107
>Reddit.

>>22214107
Reddit dying would be interesting simply because it would result in the biggest digital migration ever up to this point.
Twitters culture was forever changed by the Tumblr migration, and that was just a fraction of the people who would come from reddit.

Question is where would they all go?

>>22206506

---- Solaria ----
0519
Exquisite lullaby

I sometimes wish that someone will miss
The look of my face, the sound of my voice

Enough to cry, to matter that much
To matter beyond laughter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckU61fDA5Sc&list=RDMM&index=30

>>22214191
Interesting only in the sense of interesting times. It's all depressing. Don't deny it.

>>22207135
Bet he's scared of small dogs barking at him

>>22206506
---- Solaria ----
0520
Test

Like a meteor i light
You, and will take you home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQX2q6WCrbE&list=RDMM&index=27

I need to make some friends…

>>22213854
>I want want to engage in unfathomably cruel combat on the Eastern Front (1941-1945).
>I want to fight in Operation Barbarossa, In Battle of Moscow, In Stalingrad, At Kursk, In Korsun–Cherkassy pocket, during Dnieper–Carpathian offensive, In Kamenets–Podolsky pocket, & die defending Pomerania from the Red Army during Operation Solstice.
gtfo CHUD.

new
>>22214675