/lit/ - Literature

Just share your opinion of the case with other jurors. There is always someone sneeking information to the judge and he will dismiss you for doing just that.

>>22139833
I got a letter to report for jury duty once. I ignored it and nothing happened.

Why not? You'll get a day off work.

>>22139833
Tell them you know about jury nullification. 60% of the time it works every time.

>>22139833
jury nullification: the evolution of a doctrine

>>22139857
>>22139904
>>22139949
>how to get arrested for contempt of court
Unironically bring a bible next time, it's edgier and if you act like a religious nut you'll be home free in no time.

>>22139965
I might try this next time

>>22139965
>NOTTTT THE HECKIN CONTEMPERINOOOO OF COURT. OH NO BROS... THE JUDGEY GONNA MAKE YOU PAY A DAGNAM FINE AND SPEND SOME DAYS DETAINED WITHOUT TRIAL. NOOOO YOU CAN'T TALK AND NULLIFY. LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? JUST PRETEND YOU ARE LIKE RELIGIOUS SO YOU DON'T GO IN IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO SOME REAL ARBITER OF JUSTICE CAN BE SELECTED INSTEAD WHO WILL VOTE WITH THE OTHERS FOR THE PREDICTED OUTCOME
I would love to be selected for Jury Duty. I would vote against whatever everyone else is going with on purpose. You should pretend to be as normal as possible. You're probably just giving this bad advice because you fear a 4channer being on the jury and messing everything up.

>>22139833
>Help I'm too much of a pussy to whip out the N-word in front of a lawyer. How do I get out of jury duty?????
This is a great opportunity to get a man off OP. Don't you want that? To get a man off? Prisons are nothing but a scheme for getting slave labour from the poor and desperate, this is a real chance to do some good in the world.

>>22139833
Read some sovereign citizen literature

If you wore a white lives matter shirt or something you could've gotten out of it

Depends on the case but in my experience it's as easy as saying you have personal experience with the subject matter of the crime that prevents you from being unbiased, or even that you have close family that works in law enforcement and has prejudiced your view. but that was before they actually make the selection out of the jury pool

>>22140283
>>22140295
Why would you want to get out of jury duty?

>>22139833
I’ll let you in on the secret. You do not have to ever show up for a jury summons, they cannot prove you ever received it because the government is a bunch of grifting thieves and didn’t splurge on certified mail. They will only do this for something like a grand jury summons. Also check your local laws, in many cities if they mail you a photo traffic ticket there isn’t shit they can do to punish you unless it’s personally served to you or given by a cop within 90 days of the ticket.
t. USPS wageslave

>>22140312
Pays like shit and you're stuck with it for however long it goes on

>>22140532
Worth it because you can mess everything up by voting not guilty or voting guilty when everyone else is voting not guilty.

>>22140385
That'll be 30 days in jail, thanks.,

>>22140385
YOU'RE A POST OFFICE SCRUB LIKE BUKOWSKI NOT A FUCKING LAWYER DUMBASS.

The last time I was summoned for jury duty, I brought this.
By that point, I had read enough of it to discuss it with people sitting at the table with me.
And I wasn't selected to serve...hallelujah!

>>22139833
it's pretty easy to get out of jury duty, during the selection stage both sides ask you questions about the case and if you may have trouble being impartial, you just say yes.

this is the much easier and more socially acceptable way of getting out than the common moronic advice you hear like "read mein kampf" or "say you hate minorities", which is given by people who have obviously never went to the selection, or people daydreaming about being funny and random

for example during a medical malpractice case, your uncle is a doctor so it might be hard for you to find a healthcare professional at fault since you know what they go through for their patients. or you were personally wronged by a doctor. or you think of doctors as very dismissive of their patients.

even if one side can obviously tell you're lying (btw the lawyers can clearly tell you just want to get out of jury duty, sometimes you can see them openly rolling their eyes at the "reasons"), they will not take a chance selecting you when you might possibly sabotage their case being irrational.

also if they refuse you, they just put you back in the pool of jurors, and you might get picked for a less interesting case like a generic slip and fall on a business sidewalk or whatever, where the lawyers might not care and just select you.

btw i was selected for a jury it was one of the most interesting experiences of my life, so I would think about giving it a shot if it's not too long of a case.

>>22140385
this depends on where you are, many counties can and will issue bench warrants if you repeatedly ignore them. doesn't seem fair because they can't prove you got it but that doesn't stop them.

>in many cities if they mail you a photo traffic ticket there isn’t shit they can do to punish you unless it’s personally served to you or given by a cop within 90 days of the ticket.
this is also somewhat misleading, they can prove you received it by you visiting the website on the ticket and viewing the video from the camera. if you view that video and refuse to pay thinking "these glowies have no idea i received this hehehe" you're going to face further retaliation

>>22141633
>one of the most interesting experiences of my life

oof

As a former defense attorney, some of the advice ITT is hilarious. Honestly, just show up drunk or claim to be an alcoholic and that your alcoholism is to the extent that you still wake up drunk (or however you want to phrase it).

>>22141633
>>22141652
Thanks for the advice

It's fucking annoying when you get the letter and it can be from anything like 4 weeks to FOURTY weeks.

I don't think I would skip out on jury duty because I unironically find courtroom and law stuff interesting, but I still like to read up on how to get out of jury duty just in case (and because it's related to law/courtroom stuff).

>>22139965

Why would you get arrested for contempt of court just for saying you know about it? Bringing it up at the actual trial, yeah, that I'd get.

I was on a 9 week murder trial a few years back. It was a very interesting experience I thought.
I showed up in a dress shirt, suit pants, and dress shoes as I wanted to be selected.
I vividly remember when one other guy my age (early 20s) walked in the courtroom with a hoody, ripped jeans and was smiling rather smugly, he was rejected by the prosecutor. So my advice is to act like a hoodlum and show obviously that you have no respect for the whole proceedings and I think that would help.

After the trial the judge gave every juror a chance to have 8 years of exemption from being called again. I declined, I hope I get called again. I probably won't get another interesting case to be on, and maybe my thoughts about the experience will change, but I would recommend it to people who are very opposed to the idea.

>>22141139
Nope Im not him but ive done both the ignore jury summons and camera ticket tricks and it works. In my city you can blow red lights all you want and unless the cop issues you the citation personally you can get away with it legally. As far as jury duty ive always heard of some penalty but ive never actually met anyone who got in trouble for ignoring those summons.

>>22141835
np, i think most civil cases are pretty fast. ours was scheduled to last a week and a half but got settled early.

>>22142190
i also dressed pretty ok, kind of preppy like pic related except with boots instead of sneakers, and i was hands down the most well dressed person there. almost everyone else was dressed like shit, people were even wearing crocs. alot of those people were still selected because if they eliminated everyone dressed like a shmuck there'd be no one left.

>>22141846
yeah that's what im saying. i thought it would be boring but it was like watching a movie but with a plot twist ever 15 minutes. i was unironically thrilled at certain points

>>22139833
>mein kampf reader has no employment or educational obligations
Interesting, I've been called for jury duty twice. Once I said I was in college, and the other time I said I had work. Didn't even have to go to the court to be dismissed

>>22139833
What are the odds of being selected for jury duty twice? I'm not from the US and I don't know if jury duty is a thing here in Australia but from my understanding, it's pretty rare to be picked for jury duty once let alone twice.

>>22142190
ngl I was kind of hoping I'd get picked too. it was a computer crimes pizza website hosting case with federal prosecutors, digital forsenic agents and everything. was like 70 of us and maybe 30 recused themselves due to personal experience or relatives employed in corrections.

took all 12 retirement age white men
was over in less than a week. guilty

mother fucker looked just like I imagine you loli-libertarians on here

>>22142665
Going in once temporarily increases your chance of going in a second time by about 10×, and permanently by about 3×. The chance of going in once is 1/3,334 and it increases by adding itself every yeqar

>>22142694
Interesting, thanks, anon.

>>22141633
blåhaj noooooo

I'm European but jury duty always sounded fun to me.
If you get time off from work to go do it why not?

>>22139965
imagine thinking it's not based to not care about the bureaucrats' rules

>>22142768
The compensation isn't great, and not every job gives their own specific Time Off compensation for it. If yours does then I definitely don't see why you wouldn't.

>>22142643
Or they have a real job which has compensatory stipulations in place for jury duty and aren't in danger of being replaced by Pablo for missing a few days.

>>22142768
in america businesses bend us over at every opportunity. on my jury there were 2 people who just weren't getting paid and it was absolutely depressing to see how upset they were coming every day.

the clueless woman who ushered us through jury duty selection told us loudly and repeatedly "your employer MUST compensate you for jury duty", but that's like a feel good law that doesn't actually work as well as it should. in actuality a lot of them don't because what are you really going to do about it?

if you raise a stink they can simply fire you because almost every state features at-will employment where they are free to fire whoever they want. nobody is going to willingly lose their job and go through a lengthy process just for 1 week's pay. especially when you consider the huge amount of americans living paycheck to paycheck and simply can not afford to lose their job to take a stand against their employer taking advantage of them.

to be honest this is probably the most legitimate criticism people have about jury duty. most are barely scraping by and can't afford to go on a little vacation to play law and order because they know the government refuses to have their backs if their employer fucks them. we would have a much easier time finding jurors if we had decent labor protections in place like a civilized country.

>>22141652
This
Just get drunk to the point you start stumbling, and take a cab to court

>>22140156

Most people who go to prison deserve it.

>>22139833
Just tell them that you have a job interview that you have to get to and that you can't miss it because you've been out of work for a while and really need the job. That's how I ducked jury duty in March.

>>22139833
>Dumb cunt reads dumb cunt book in jury duty selection
>He gets selected for duty just to make him suffer
Based judge and lawyers honestly. They saw right through your ass or didn't even bother to look at what you were reading.

>>22139833
Piss and/or shit yourself, ignore it until somebody points it out then begin sobbing uncontrollably. Hasn't failed me yet.

>>22139833
Just do what I did to get out being Juror 1 except do it deliberately:
>both the defense and prosecutor will briefly make a presentation about the law and their jobs and some very broad case information
>on one, be enthusiastic, pay attention, ask questions, answer any questions
>on the other one zone out, say nothing, play with your phone
What you want is something convincing enough for a lawyer to consider you a liability and not like you're bullshitting to get out of jury duty.

print out this thread and scotch tape it to your forehead

>>22145137
>>22145124
>>22144688
>>22141652
>>22145217
Hello there reddit! Of course you are telling people on 4chan how to get out of jury duty. It would be a real shame it one of them faked their impartiality and messed your entire trial up by nullifying or hanging the jury by refusing to go with the NPC conviction or acquittal.

>>22145222
Have you actually tried pissing and/or shitting yourself then sobbing uncontrollably? Not only will it get you out of jury duty but it's pretty cathartic.

>>22145222
My average caseload was around 350 clients. 98% of the we’re unequivocally guilty. Why the fuck would you want to nullify any of that, especially the few retards who are guilty and choose to go to trial. Talk to your fucking legislator to stop criminalizing almost every aspect of our existence so you would be some radlib pontificating on 4chan about jury nullification

>>22145222
Prosecutors will just re-try the case, which they do with hung juries…

>>22145222
"I Still Unload": This Man Is a "Nullo" Who Removed His Penis and Balls
559.91K

Simon Davis

10/16/14 11:10AM

Filed to: INTERVIEWS

In 1994, a South Florida man who goes by the name Gelding was surgically castrated. In 2011, he had his penis removed as well. He's a "nullo": A cisgender man who removes his external genitalia completely as a form of body modification, and he recently agreed to answer our questions—from "why?" to "what do balls taste like?"

Gelding is a nudist and describes himself as a submissive bear. Apart from his desire to use a pseudonym, he let it all hang out (so to speak) when I reached out to him and graciously answered every question I had.

Is nullo your preferred term to describe yourself and others like you who are castrated and have removed their penis?

Yes, the reason that we use that it is not transgender. It's simply nullification of what you've got. A friend of mine Mack in San Francisco likes to use the term "mascunull", because I remain as masculine as they come with fur and so forth. But I no longer have the parts.

What are some misconceptions people have about nullos?

A few men don't know their own physiology to the point where they think if they lose their balls they can't come any more. And that's false. If you look at the physiology you see that the fluids are made by the seminal vesicles and the prostate. Very little of the fluid and the content is produced in the testes. I still unload.

But the active ingredient for impregnating someone isn't there.

Right.

Do you get a lot of people who think you're trying to become a woman?

Absolutely. And it's mostly the medical profession who sees the sexes as either male or female. And anyone who wants to alter any part of that is in some way suffering from gender dysphoria. They don't like themselves for some reason and they want to change gender. And that's absolutely false.

It's not a dysphoria. I see it in the positive way of working toward something, rather than away from something. Many of the guys instead of putting a negative feel on it see it as a positive. Being castrated is a positive to them. Rather than removing something that they dislike, they are moving in the direction that they want. I went through a long set of psychological evaluation sessions with a psychologist here in town, because that was necessary in order to have the penis removed.

You've previously discussed your 1994 castration. However, I didn't find anything on your penis removal in 2011. Can you talk about that?

I knew I was uncomfortable in having frankly large male parts. I would quite often sit on my own balls because they were loose unless I wore something tight and held them in I would sit on them and squash them. That got me into trouble playing soccer in college when they forced us to wear these hard plastic cups. What happened was I fell on a guy's upright knee with the weight of another player behind me, so two of us fell on the knee. The knee happened

>>22145239
>Why the fuck would you want to nullify any of that, especially the few retards who are guilty and choose to go to trial.
Because I don't care. The punishments are often nothing. Jail just breeds more crime. Literally pointless. If laws and the legal system didn't exist, naturally people would remove criminal elements from society much more effectively. The idea of jail, a big time out zone is patently absurd and such a waste of tax payer money. The sanest approach to criminology with a state, is simply corporeal punishment or death penalty. No jail needed. If someone is predisposed to committing repeat crimes, which I believe something like 95 percent of people who go to prison recidivate, there should be a three strikes policy. The third time they resort to crime, they are exterminated. This sounds rather inhumane but such has been the administration of justice for most of human history and in point of fact, isn't inhumane at all. What is inhumane is locking someone in a cell where obviously the rest of their life will have more bad than good that follows. Most people would rather be beaten than have several years of their lives wasted. Until such philosopher king policies are implemented, I will vote to let the bad guy go unless it's a death penalty case. Simple as that.

>>22145222
Nigger, last time I got selected to sit on a jury for a fat Mexican bitch who keyed some other dumb Mexican bitch's car I was stuck in there for NINE HOURS. Fuck that bullshit, I don't commit crimes and I clearly don't care if (You) don't get any justice.

>>22145378
You don't know what trial you're going to end up with. What if you were selected for Trumps trial and you could nullify the liberals on the jury by refusing to convict.

Cicero

>>22145400
I would convict though, he's been a criminal his entire life and everyone seems to have forgotten all about that.

>>22139833
Say loudly in court to the prosecution lawyer that it seems like he really needs to prove the defendent did/intended X to prove hes guilty. He'll have you out of there so fast it'll make your cock spin.

>>22145268
God these people need to be thrown into the ocean

>>22144652
Always wanted to bend a CEO over to give him or her a taste of their own medicine. Literally not figuratively though. I just want to blow my wad into some cheeks

>>22139965
Bring a Bible and Mein Kampf just to cover all the bases

>>22145943
Bring them in your mind and hide your biases so you can be selected for jury and apply them to render the right vote.

I don't believe in juries. Anglo shit. Judging isn't a democracy. It should be up to the judge.

>>22139965
>reading the bible is edgy
You guys live in a parallel universe, I swear

>>22148806
Yes it's called the west coast.

ive been called to jury duty twice and was dismissed during voir dire both times

i was disappointed because i was trying to be as "normal" as possible to get selected. i wanted to get to a trial but nope

the counsel are very good at asking you seemingly innocent questions to determine your suitability to them on the trial.

on the second one that was right before the Wuhan flu hit the defense asked me what i did for a living. i said i work full time in a medical practice and a few weekends a month helping my dad with his company. so he asks "cool, what does your dad do?" i tell him "he has a small business that installs security cameras". attorney says "oh interesting, like doorbell cameras or home security" , i reply "no, large commercial properties. he does jobs where they install 20 to 50 cameras at a time." so he then asks what these cameras catch so i sound off a few crazy stories they have seen.

i was dismissed pretty quick after that. who knows why but i think the defense didnt want someone on the jury who had watched video of countless ghetto pieces of shit acting like retards. or maybe it was because i was white

>>22150023
Or maybe there's CCTV evidence and they don't want the jury to have a resident expert. The same with working in a medical practice/lawyer's office/former cop/any area of expertise where you could swing a jury.

>>22139833
I am fond of jurists. They acquitted me of some statutory charges

>>22150023
i would have replied those are personal questions and none of their business

>>22139965
I was gonna call you delusional but then it was a given since you worship a zombie kike

>>22149930

>>22150527
>>22150532
Look how they seethe while pretending no one cares. The Bible is more of an act of courage today than in ancient Rome.

>>22139833
wait. Muricans jury duty is mandatory? In my country they pay 1.5x of your missed salary for jury duty, and you can always just say no without punishment

>>22150667
If you don't go to jury duty when selected in the US you will be fined up to 1,000$ and/or imprisoned for no more than 30 days.

Why didn't you just say that words fail to convey truth and you value your intuition more no matter what the lawyers say. And that you refuse to deny or compromise your intuition so that either your guy wins or the case in a mistrial. Seems easy enough