/lit/ - Literature

Ok, so i am home alone and a minute ago i heard three notes from a music box. I do not have a music box. Why must i get haunted now?

>>22045975
hey!, hey you! how was your day anon?

Quitting my remote job. Need to figure out where I want to live.

>>22045996
I did absolutely nothing. It was glorious. How was yours?

Stopped smoking pot two weeks ago after being a daily smoker for a little over ten years. Been having these vivid and profound-seeming dreams every night, and waking up just feeling fucking depressed. Now I’m cutting alcohol out of my life, too (daily drinker, though never to the point of excess, just like a buzz) and of course everyone hears shit like this and goes “wow that’s great anon! It’s so good you’re committing to your health,” but it’s just been a big reminder as to why I would drink/smoke in the first place: I genuinely hate being alive. Not MY life, I’m pretty lucky all things considered. But this is such a boring waste of time I want off this ride. Won’t kms though, at least not now.
Anyways that’s what’s on my mind.

I had a dream last night where I was with the most beautiful girl. We were laying in bed together but also at the same time sitting next to each other on a couch. All was warmth and comfort. I felt inadequate for her in a kind of passive sulk that lingered just beyond her warmth. She must have known this because she leaned to kiss me with her full, soft lips. We shared a brief moment of ecstasy, grotesque in the aesthetic sense of a melding together of two opposites, before being painfully separated again. I’ve never felt so connected with someone ever before in my waking life. I tossed and turned in the growing daylight at my window, desperately trying to find my way back to sleep.

The balding is accelerating

>>22046009
well, I work a remote job so I spent the working a little and smoking a little. I'm living the best life that many people dream of but still, sadness and melancholy never leave me

it should be called lootrature, because its top 40 hits radio rubbish.

>>22046023
my condolences, I have no-balding genes tho so it's all good for me lol. suks to b u

>>22046023
The end is near
>>22046018
Tbh, kissing is not that great anyways

/lit/ is always changing

>>22046023
its so over, its so fricking over, that's it, shows over folx, over, completely and utterly over and it will never recover, over, over, over never returning its over.

About 2/3 through Moby Dick and it’s becoming a real slog, I go two or three days without reading it. I’ve enjoyed the narration where the plot moves, but have grown tired of Ishmael’s autistic description of whales. Does it pick up towards the end?

i love how people think bald guys don't get approached lmao.
they get approached all the time, women think it makes them look like a viking haha.

Ambition is a curse. Academia is 1% psychopaths wrangling research autists wrangling less autistic research assistants with a few whores thrown in. I am definitely not making it to the very top. I am likely unable to work a normal job anymore. 10 years+ advanced education to work for 40k a year, my horny ass should have become an electrician. F U C K

>>22046027
>I'm living the best life that many people dream
Isn't a remote job just sitting at home staring at a computer screen?

>>22046068
grass is always greener

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vow1qFOTmEw

>>22046052
It's done

>>22046083
its finished for good, its over, JUST, over and out. oveeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr.

>>22046068
You likely would have cursed your life as an electrician too

>>22046092
It was over before I even realized it was over.

>>22046096
It was over before it even began

>>22046103
fin.

>>22046068
>Went into Academia
I'm surprised no one noticed how fucked Academia is. Its a bunch of people with big egos just bullying each other via science. You could have gotten an advanced education in a practical or applied science that gave you a skill and where they people are nicer, but you didn't. I don't blame you desu, I didn't realize I liked math till after university and I didn't realize I liked Chemistry till I took it in university. Either way, you can always hop to something you love doing despite the money, once you can feed yourself, pay the bills, and store the rest away for retirement, with some pocket money to do hobbies or treat yourself extra money is just "extra" money. You'll be able to buy and afford things that you want or need faster or retire quicker, but that is about it.

testing...1...2...3...

>>22046135
You should know better than to get b& by now. Pls.

We always forget what we learn. We learn so that we can pick up forgotten skills faster.

>>22046170
We forget so we can focus on learning about other pieces of the puzzle and then remember the ones we forgot, put them together to a new conjoined piece, just to forget about it again until we have a new piece to add. Still, the big picture is slowly growing and emerging.

>>22046183
what is the big picture?
I think I'd die of astonishment before learning it

I don't want to inherit my dad's business. I don't care about any of this shit, I don't want to deal with catholics, I don't want to deal with customers who can't even read the "OPEN" sign on the door.
Besides, this industry will die due to raising prices. People should focus on procuring food rather than spending money on some dumb flowers that will wither away in a week or so.

>>22046205
you can always sell it

>>22046190
That we will never know. If we could, we would cease to have any will to live life at all. The desire to stay alive is fueled by the hope to one day figure it all out. The paradox is that there is nothing to figure out and if there is we could not understand it with our limited human existence anyways. Isn‘t that so clever?

>>22046215
How ironic. That's exactly how many people feel on psychadelics but they phrase it as "the world is just so stupid and funny."
I can feel the dmt jesters mocking me right now.

I got a gf after more than a decade and I already want to go back to being single, what do

>>22046238
Makes sense since psychedelic just scare our soul out of our body far enough for us to be able to catch a glimpse of the broader picture. Pretty stupid though. We‘re here to be human, not to try and be more than that. Human curiosity won‘t be stopped by that though.

>>22046241
Depends on how she is.
My advise is if she's not a total bitch or bore is to make lots of memories.
Go do a lot of activities with her.

>>22046241
Go back to being single. Relationship are a scam. Nobody can do that and not go insane or developing some very unhealthy coping mechanisms.

>>22046241
happened to me, break up with her, tell her a truth or lie it doesn't really matter because it'll hurt her feelings either way. Women are exhausting, I've never had a gf in my life but a couple of "proto-gfs" online and they require constant attention and they can get really invasive about how you spend your time not with them because they are afraid of you cheating or something sub-consciously, its quite suffocating.

>>22046210
What is there to sell?

>>22046248
This nigga dates women online.
Don't take his advise.

>>22046253
Its the same regardless of if they are online or not.

>>22046254
Incorrect.
How does someone even 'date' someone online?
Do you cruise discord or something?

>>22046255
I don't have a discord. We met on a video game.

>>22046255
You really should read the original post you relied too. No where did he say "date".

Damn it. I had something I needed to do, but I can't remember what it was, just that something had to be done.
I remembered it this morning, but I forgot to take note of it somewhere and I now I simply can't recall it.
Fuck.

>>22046272
He didn't day date, fine.
Speaking of gf or even proto-gf when all you do is talk online isn't real.
Point stands that it's not close to an actual relationship like >>22046241 talks about.

>>22046278
Fair, but his advice is still accurate.

Everything is terrible now and I don’t feel better about it just because I have air conditioning and vaccines.

>>22046305
You got the vax?

>>22046311
I did, but that really wasn’t my point.

>>22046316
boosted?

>>22046318
No. I actually think I did get some health problems from the vaccine, but they’ve resolved and my recent check up showed I’m overweight but otherwise perfectly healthy.

>>22046017
The dreams come back for me too. It's crazy how reliable it is. They are so vivid and long as fuck.

>>22046072
>Isn't a remote job just sitting at home staring at a computer screen
-while getting paid good money?
yes

>>22046356
I'm high rn, and I crave for the touch of a woman

>>22046068
It could be worse. You could be an administrator.

>>22046117
Most people don’t really choose to go into anything anymore. They just end up with a degree and a locale and have certain opportunities available to them as a result.

The human being is a computer. The cigarette is a virus. The virus harms the computer. The computer tries to defend itself. But the virus gets into the computer's control center. There it changes the script. It inserts justifications, which protect it. The computer thinks that the justifications come from its own mouth. But in fact, the virus has put words into the computer's mouth and uses the computer like a talking doll. If we meet such a computer and talk to it, we are not talking to a human being, but to a cigarette.

>>22046117
So did you change careers into something math related? What is your point exactly?

>>22046072
Mostly, it’s sitting around near a computer screen waiting for someone to call or ask where something is. I hate remote work personally but I’ve found it to be very comfortable. I literally lie in bed until noon most days.

my brain has been balkanized

>>22046424
make a short anime about it

>>22046250
The business. People buy and sell businesses all the time.

It’s my day off and I’m literally too sad and despondent to even read. Wtf man, tomorrow I’ll go to work and think about how much better it’ll be when I get home and read then I’ll read 15-20 pages and pass out and wake up and barely be able to get out of bed for hours. I wish I wasn’t such a pussy and would just kill myself already

I love in a small village, and I'm the most literate person in the village also the most cultured one too. it's kind of isolating desu, not having the same interests as the village peoples that is. I can't relate to anyone here, and no can relate to me...idk maybe it's my fault, having a morbid curiosity towards art and other stuff, maybe I should've stayed a farmer... maybe. what about you anon? do you feel any sense of isolation?

>>22046467
>I love in a small village
live*. sorry

I can’t decide if I want to do a master’s. I can’t really decide anything at the moment. It seems there are no good options. Nothing gets me excited.

>>22046467
I have yeah, and I lived in a college town. I’ve lived both in a small town (we don’t have villages in America) and a small university town. I can’t honestly say that I found the university town any more artistic or intellectual or anything like that. Of course, I was an undergraduate and then administrator and not a graduate or faculty member, so maybe it would’ve been a different experience if I had been a graduate student and faculty member but I suspect not. Yeah, I’ve felt a sense of isolation for basically my whole adult life but I do have siblings I’m somewhat close with and for that I’m fairly fortunate.

>>22046467
Sometimes i wonder if i fucked myself over. I should have stayed unknowing, i should have kept my horizon narrow, i should have stayed where i belonged. I shouldn‘t have breached my zone. I am sure life would be easier. At least it would be simpler.

I've got to stop coming here.

>>22046544
You will. But not because you forced it, just because you grew out of it.

>>22046467
>>22046532
This is fairly normal though. The large mass of people anywhere at all times have not been particularly literate or cultured, not even in Renaissance Florence. It would be the case that the minority would be as literate and cultured as you whether you lived in a small village, a medium-sized city, or the biggest city in your part of the world.

>>22046558
The difference is that somehow, historically, people of similar minds have been able to find each other and become their own circles.

yeah of course i'm edgy you femoid termite, i read fucking Nietzsche.

>>22046566
We’re doing that right now. We’re just doing it online.

>>22046574
Meine Seele, ein Saitenspiel,
Sang sich, unsichtbar berührt,
Heimlich ein Gondellied dazu,
Zitternd vor bunter Seligkeit,
- Hörte jemand ihr zu?

>>22046584
time is a flat circle.

>>22046578
I knew you‘d say that. But i also know that you know that it is not the same.

>>22046589
Then there is no point in weeping.

>>22046588
I agree it’s not the same. I wasn’t trying to console you or pretend like it’s the same. I was only pointing out that we are doing it. If it wasn’t for the internet, we’d probably be moving to the same cities but we don’t because we have the internet.

>>22046606
not sure if i'm not getting a joke here but i'm not weeping, i'm frustrated.

>>22046608
True. It‘s a blessing and a curse.
>>22046610
Frustrated over what? That time is a flat circle? How‘s that frustrating? Isn‘t that a soothing thought?

>>22046613
no i was making a silly joke, its a reference to a much quoted line from True Detective, not ironic, it was just my way of saying "i understand some of those words" because i don't speak a word of German.

>>22046634
I see, that fully went over my head, kek

The feeling of terror blooming inside me as I guilelessly murmured under my breath while reading the bell jar “she. Is. Literally. Me.”

Ever since I reconnected with faith, that put a hamper on the suicidal ideation. No more. I tried inducing bruises around my neck with my braid but my hair is too brittle to make a decent noose. Not nice.

Where does the time go?

>>22046651
Conditioner

Senna my love.

>>22046049
the fuck is that picture?

Hey guys, a little unrelated, but does anyone know how to get calibre to show book covers on the main window?
I had it like that on my old computer but now for some reason it only shows the title (not even the full title even if I open the window to fullscreen).

>>22046666
It is what happens when you kiss boys. 2/10 can‘t recommend.

>>22046669
Oh nevermind, I fixed it.

I started True detective. Three minutes in and I was exhausted.
I was excited to go back to the mongolian throat singing forums. I thought, I could resurrect my jaded cynicism. My aversion to sentimentality. If i was going to waste time i would rather waste it here with people I cannot relate to on a surface level.
But i think… i don’t have hobbies anymore. I drifted to /tv/ out of habit. And no discourse could interest me. I think i’ve become far too interested in real people and real things. It’s a disease that festers in the soul. I want to unlock the part in me that thrives solely on fictional escapism.

>>22046068
Just carve out a niche among nice people and quit the Napoleonic ambition. First of all, it is ridiculous, second, it will only fuck you. Make some small but meaningful contributions. The mistake is seeking advancement and placement at better universities until you end up at one filled with sociopaths.
Ambition is a curse, you are right. Moderate it. You can kill yourself trying to excel at something only a select few nerds will ever care about. Don't.

>>22046117
It is fucked, sure, but if you are one of the lucky ones (and they are not as rare as some cynics would lead you to believe) it is the nicest life imaginable to people who like the subject they're in.

I would love to wear a collar and be led around by a leash

>>22046670
No but for real, did his beard have bubonic plague or does she have the worst immune system of all time?

>>22046651
We should hook up

>>22046696
Apparently it was a staph infection. Getting one that bad from stubble does mean that her immune system might as well already have AIDS.

What is everyone's advice for becoming a better writer? Every time I write a sentence for a story it's like putting a puzzle together, it never just flows out of me. The prospect of getting where I want to be at this point feels impossible.

>>22046696
Probably a combo of weak immune system and filthy man.

>>22046701
My approach is to stop caring about the outcome and just let it ooze out. The more unfiltered i write, the more raw, powerful and beautiful the result. That works for me though, it sounds like your goal for what you want to create is very different and so a different approach might be more conductive.

>>22045975
i've decided to only masturbate when im horny and only look at sexual media when im masturbating
i no longer know what to do when im bored

>>22046727
I usually order stuff online or do elaborate skin care when my brain needs a break. I don‘t even remember the last time i masturbated.

>>22046738
what sort of stuff do you order?

I feel like I’m trapped and just pessimistic about everything. I can’t imagine success anymore.

>>22046748
my advice is don't be a dismissive cunt to other people.

>>22046680
wait what i also just started watching true detective yesterday, season 2
i've seen 1st season when it aired but didnt see the rest

The wide chasm separating intention and action (or lack of) has seemingly swallowed even my quirky penchant for visualization. My mind no longer wanders. It gnaws on the same three worries constantly. I can no longer conjure pictures in my head. Even now as I type this. I am aware that I am only typing to express an immediate woe. An observable inanity which I’ll forget as soon as I dump it here. I did not begin this post with the intention of expressing a well thought out idea. Anytime I begin an essay or try to organize my thoughts on a topic of interest I meander. It’s as though words come faster to me than thoughts. I’ve always been infatuated with well sounding verbosity. The sounds of words more than any meaning they could yield.

Strangest of all is how all the good behaviors that have been drilled into me from a tender age have retreated into a somber corner in my mind. It’s as if I am a wholly different person now. But how can it be that a mere 4 years of adulthood can shoot 18 years of solid upbringing.

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
414
Legacy

From this morning till now, just past noon
The sky though clear from the standpoint of definite shadow

Still attenuates it to a slight, slightly pale orange
Nothing fierece, so heavilly veiled that the whole sky suggests nothing blue.

Late afternoon hues prevail on the ground
While everywhere overhead in all drections it's a very bright

Pale yellow-grey more or less as one
Imagines it from a room of balanced lighting

From altitudes above Venus where one could visit without a pressure-suit,
Could one come and go with the will's slightest movement.

Rare but unlovely it reminds me of the look
Of refinery regions faraway at maximum capacity in almost still air

And just a little of a perfect night where searchlights played
Upon vague altocumulus in suave illustration

By music playing stars in subtle comings and goings to the last of August peace,
As if pleasure were some universal thanatopsis of precocious youth.

https://youtu.be/0_n1KuEPCxc?t=783

>>22046743
The last things i ordered were aluminium semi sphere molds to make bath bombs, rose water to make pic rel since i randomly bought basil seeds a few days ago and jojoba-oil to mix my own nail oil concoction. Next on my list is one of those glucose monitors you stick onto your arm for two weeks because i love gathering data on my own body, pectin and malic acid because i want to try making sour candy belts since i realized that the sour sugar dusting is just sugar and citric/malic acid mixed and a neuro feedback device, because why not.

>>22046778
>how can it be that a mere 4 years of adulthood can shoot 18 years of solid upbringing
It doesn‘t. That‘s just the wild chaos of first freedom. It will calm down. Trust the process.

>>22046753
I don’t think I am.

Would you guys rate my writing if I posted it?

>>22046824
Kek

>>22046792
dont you just end up with too much shit?

I regret not dropping out of college when I realized it wasn’t going well for me at 20 years old.

>>22046830
Sure, but i will be honest.

>>22046832
I don’t get it.

>>22046778
Female minded

>>22046834
100%, yes. But i also end up with having made a ton of fun stuff and having accumulated new knowledge and skills, i‘d say it is worth it. The great thing is that it has put me in a position where it happens frequently that if i want to try something, i already have everything i need at home. This way i do some experimental stuff almost daily. It keeps me entertained and busy when i can‘t be bothered to do what i am supposed to do.

>>22046845

cooOOoo-wooo-woo-woooo

Man, being rich in medieval europe would be such a dream. You have your own peasants working for you, so you don't have to do anything. And if any of ur peasants catch your eye, you can do with him/her anything you want. Those were the times

>>22046859
schtzngrmm
schtzngrmm
t-t-t-t
t-t-t-t
grrrmmmmm
t-t-t-t
s---------c---------h
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
grrrmmmmm
schtzn
schtzn
t-t-t-t
t-t-t-t
schtzngrmm
schtzngrmm
tssssssssssssss
grrt
grrrrrt
grrrrrrrrrt
scht
scht
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
scht
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
scht
scht
scht
scht
scht
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
t-tt

>>22046836
I shivered a little at first, and then I rubbed my eyes and got off the cot yawning. That was a strange dream, if there even aren’t any. I stretch my arms out. Goreman’s gonna be pissed. Haha.
MRKAOW.
A gentle brush of my calf, mrs. Jones looked up at me. MRKAOW. You want some food, don’t you? Well me too baby, one second. I brush my teeth quickly while she meows louder and louder. I got you baby. The light is bright as I come in, too bright, I don’t wanna fuck with the settings right now though. Let’s see. I’m actually holding my chin while I look up at these cereal boxes. I must look quite funny.
There is an array of options, all colorful in stark counterpoint to the grey box under them. None of them look that good though, who the hell are they hiring at the top levels here? Like give us some goddamned variety. Knowing what kind of shitshow I’m going to walk into today, I’m just gonna say fuck it and grab open the cupboard and I reach inside and I grab the sugar and I pull the sugar out and then I reach inside and I grab the flour and then I pull the flour out and then I reach inside and I grab the box of Nox-0s and I pull it out and I open it up. It smells incredible, it’s quite pungent. I grab the bowl and sit down. MRKAOW. Oh that’s right, I need milk. MRKAOW. I’m joking, I'm half joking, calm down. Mrkaow
I get up and go over to the wall and press the button with a cat picture on it and then the one with a little salmon graphic and then a few sounds are heard and a door opens with bowled cat food floating inside with a low hum and then descending a few notes and to the ground floor. Mrs. Jones was already a few inches away from there when I got up and was now devouring the food with gusto. Opening earlier mentioned grey box, my fridge, I pull out the milk bottle and unscrew the cap. I pour just enough in, and then finish off the rest drinking it. I set down the bottle and pick up my spoon and eat my cereal. This is the good shit right here, Nox-0s. Only available to those who know. As they say. I used to run trucks for one of the companies.
Deja, play me Mahler’s symphony number 2, movement IV.
Okay.
The instruments swelled slowly, It felt so nice. The cereal was cold and only slightly soggy. It tasted so goddamned good. I think this is a Bernstein one. The louder second part of the movement began and the violins danced. As they died and I was stabbing at the last few remaining bright multi colored sugar clusters, I felt an overwhelming sadness. Not because of Goreman, something else, but I don’t know what it is, really. Getting up, I go over and put the bowl on the cleaning pad and then the pad descends out of sight.

>>22046872
Incoming call. Incoming call.
Goddamnit.
Jonathan, what the fuck man, how could you not get those drives. Man everybody’s seen everything, this is not good. Hey mrs. Kitty! Anyway, Jonathan, I’m obviously not paying you jack shit, I mean what the fuck happened?
I don’t know.
What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?
I always do everything to the best of my abilities, If something happens that I don’t plan well I guess that’s up to god.
God OH MY GOD.
He nearly fell out of his chair laughing, it made me smile a little even. He rubbed his eyes and composed himself.
Look I don’t know about any fucking fairytale shit you’re talking about but look here, I’m telling everybody that you’re no good. You like that huh? You’re no fucking good? You gotthat? You’re no fucking good man.
By now he was a wrinkling tomato, shouting loud. He was pissed, can’t blame him, I wouldn’t want to be seen in that light either. God help that rat bastard’s parents. I hung up the call, I don’t need any more of that shit.
Mrkaow
Oh my god the Liver.
I ran over to the touchscreen adjacent the recess wherein the cooked food was presented and began pressing as fast as i could
Deja simply said that she was sorry but i had missed the ending time of availability for Trevtaun Liver.
Fuck my asshole, God damn it.
Would you like something else? A good joke, a good ass fucking?
No, no thank you, you’ve already provided enough
Got it!
Deja please resume Mahler
Resuming mahler
Jesus she should already know, I thought.
I looked over at the wall, then i got up and went to the door and then I pressed the open button and the door opened and I walked out. Mahler was still playing, Mrs. Jones loves him.
Climbing down the cobble steps holding onto the solid obsidian railing I looked up at the purple sky that lay like an outer layer so that it was such a sphere that made our own specially assembled sphere a mere center of. I personally think they could’ve done better myself and if you ask me they’re actually the evil motherfuckers, the guys who built this place and those that run it. It ain’t guys like me just trying to hit up cute girls, eat some good food, and yeah kick a few asses. Sue me.
Help help someone please. Someone screamed.
I looked down, shit, almost stepped in a puddle. You see why do they make artificial rain
Help Sir sir
You know I know you man right
Yeah but I swear this time I’m really really down on my luck bad
Piss off
I continue down the walkway with a flowing wallpaper of gorgeous wall and fence and larger house and greener trees though I don’t eschew my sometimes smally fixed attention for the lovely red and spotted flowers that hang on vines that wrap the gates of the walls that are by my side. Kids are playing cowboys and Indians in one front yard.

Should I actually start writing academic articles for this no name journal? One of my professors keeps trying to get me to contribute, but I'm severely racist. I don't think anything I'll contribute is going to make it in, but I need to get my name out if I want a future in academia. I just can't bring myself to write some bullshit about how black girl majick built the U.S economy by creating the 7 inch long fake nail industry. Damn man all I want to do is to wait out for the great professor reset and swoop in once those fucks die off.

>>22045975
I am wondering if i should stop pretending that i give a fuck about things that i dont feel like giving a fuck. I wonder where my life will take me if i do that. I wonder how will i affect around me if i stop showing that i care. I wonder where will it take me if i drop principles and morals and just start bashing the shit out of reallity until it bashes me back.
I have nothing out of giving a shit, will i gain anything if i stop giving it?

In the trash of the big cities: a mystery. Collapsed and magical. Escape from the common world. Empty idealism. Empty opposition to the bleakness of the real.

>>22046946
Readers first impression interpretation:
Le urban exploring.

>>22046931
Ditch it. Its not something bad to do so, it's really healthy to have atleast a period of 6 months where you block everything out except for one thing. But you have to be at it the whole day and be diligent to capitalise on the benefits.

>>22046865
It wasn’t like that.

>>22046908
I don’t think the great professor reset is coming. It looks more and more like there will just be fewer faculty in general.

>>22046872
Aight, i‘ll give you the sugar, medicine, sugar treatment.
I quiet enjoyed the weirdness of the place your character lives in.
I did not enjoy the random jumps between writing in the present and the past. Feels chaotic. Especially since you start out writing in the presence then switch to the past. Makes no sense.
I also did not enjoy the inflationary use of foul language. Very uncalled for and seems a bit force to make the prot seem, idk, bolder?
The whole scene seems rather - empty. There‘s a cat, there‘s futuristic interiors, mahler, there‘s a prot with the palate of a toddler, there‘s a co-worker that is apparently irresponsible and the prot is pretty full of himself. It feels like you were trying to stick to show don‘t tell but it‘s just not my type of setting to add unnecessary information to set the mood.
Anyways, i did enjoy you giving your prot a clearly recognizable personality. It‘s not the most likable for me personally but it is distinct and that‘s definitely good.

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
415
Francis Bacon

The rough, weak and persistent rant
Of house-sparrows has never bothered me in the least.

A friend of mine, always good for night-walks
Regarded the faraway warble

Of hundreds of faraway robins as menacing as, say, Romeo and Juliet
Felt the Lark, species of disastrous dawn.

Doubtless few can afford reflection adequate to let one's offspring gradually go
To the aesthetic sleep of archives,

And I noticed his family didn't have the library habit in either sex.

I come here when I'm in the mood for a cathartic cringe.

>>22047058
Cringe is life.

>>22045975
The Ukraine war has left me feeling depressed.

Every day I see thousands of idiots repeat the same rhetoric that was used to justify the twenty year war in the middle east, and the people who are old enough to remember those lies choose to believe them anyways. They are always eager to tell me we are "protecting democracy" by running a train on third world countries, but cannot explain why.

I am tired of needless wars. I am tired of my tax money being used to support morally reprehensible people. I am tired of listening to ordinary people talk about foreign conflicts with the same cadence as they might a football game.

I want to go back to a simpler time when I could just go rent a Diehard VHS from Blockbuster, pick up some candy, snuggle with my pets and not need to worry about the possibility of nuclear war.

The fatigue is real.

>>22046952
le ruins

>>22046990
Thank you man, yeah my writing style is pretty jumpy but it doesn’t bother me very much but perhaps I should try to objectively assess what I’m doing with it yeah, I’ll work on that a bit. As for the foul language it just kind of is an integral part of the character and story I’m writing so that I’m really not going to change much. Also yeah the scene would make a bit more sense in context (this is the start and what I have so far of chapter 2) so maybe with more context the idea of a space private detective/petty criminal

>>22047058
Cringe is quite alien to me. I kind of love everyone who's ridiculous without the addition of cruel irony.

>>22047062
My advice would be to disconnect from the internet and television media as much as possible. My life is better when I disconnect and try to immerse in pure imagination as much as possible.

Decision paralysis is a bitch. I had lunch with my father at a korean joint. I thought I knew what I wanted but I froze the minute the menu revealed itself to me and I just neurotically flipped through the pages for 10 minutes while the waiter loitered impatiently behind us. All that obsessive chewing only to pick spicy chicken stew (which was splendid). Why? I was also very aware during my panicked buzzing that my thoughts were scattered, fizzled, and amounted to nothing. All my decision making processes are shot through.
/blog

if porn was bad then I wouldn't feel so good during and after using it

>>22047150
Big brain moment

>>22047144
Alright if im low key depressed what even IS there to do? Nothing. No i will not take meds. Paradoxically, even though im the most mentally and cognitively deficient ive been, i love that i am at least aware of myself. Meds fucking rob you of awareness, of memories, of personable experiences. I mean depression stunts you as an individual but still. When given the choice between expressing an emotion and indifference (even a negative one) i choose the emotion.
Im gonna make it.

>>22047144
Indecisiveness means you feel no purpose in the task before you. Decisiveness comes from having found the purpose.

>>22045996
Shit. I'll be lucky if I pass this semester alive.

Any book recommendations about regret, wasted time, and/or addictions? I’m really having a hard time moving on from the regret in particular.

>>22047150
It depends on one what means by porn. I enjoy photos of especially beautiful men, and some women, but neglect almost everything else in video or otherwise. There's something too vicarious about video and such, something lacking in porn that's pornographic as being in the room where someone else is doing the deed: That cucks me far too much.

>>22047183
Time to reread the cfar rationality handbook

>>22047188
Samuel Johnson's The Rambler and The Idler, Pretty much any of his essays. I'm not much like him, and pretty sprightly most of the time, but find in him one of the most healing of perspectives. Rarely do men combine so much energy with so little cruelty of impulse.

zzxjoanw

>>22047241
Maybe, whatever you do, don't trivialise the importance of finding purpose in your life, sooner the better.

>>22047290
I thought I had, anon. I wrote a list and everything. And for a while things got better until they didn’t. C’est la vie.

Hello anons, today I talked to some girls on a dating app, which was nice, but mostly it reminded me of what I truly want, and that is some good friends, I write naively but I am 28, I hope, if only for this thread I can take the time to say that all these posts, each one an attempt at scouring for (You)'s, however cynical you may be, to me is, for a moment, a bonfire of anons sitting round a big table of oak regalling stories to one another, cheering each other's accounts to and fro with great big mugs of whatever you fancy, tonight I will sleep again and wake to myself alone again, but reading this I extend a hand, to all, except perhaps the women whom I have relegated again to the exterior of my life, as a pretty thing to nod to from time to time in the street, tomorrow I will go for a walk and see some schizos, good night

>>22047311
Start with your defining characteristics, your unique identifiers, go from there. What is that one value of you that no one else has?
It will be subjective, it has to be critical to your self-identity. Start there.

>>22047255
I was really sprightly when I was younger but depression in my mid-twenties really changed my personality a lot. I’ll check it out. Maybe it’ll clock with me.

My life sort of depresses me. I feel like it’s been so uninteresting and unremarkable and I’m at an age where I can’t really make apology for that anymore.

---- Solaria ----
416
Nuclear powered malls

I'm following a van in snow, marveling at its grave bug symmetry
In traffic so slow and soft across it I can hardly tell
How close I am to home, where

Fine machines can loop music endlessly, for the first time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEbyC_hQkhQ&list=OLAK5uy_kr5Cd9eM0HDGb5o9W1rJlfmp2S9DCQ850&index=1

>>22047392
Are you good at anything? Srs.

>>22047420
There’s nothing that instantly comes to mind.

Only the collapse of civilization will re-enchant the world.

>>22047481
Solves itself. Get working.

>>22047516
What do you mean? I don’t follow.

My education and career choice has haunted me for years. Honestly, it’s not even just about the education and career choice. I just hate myself. I hate who I turned out to be.

A friend of mine is earning big money with real state. He somehow makes me feel like I could be doing the same if I didn't lack the drive or something. I'm happy for him, but just let me be a poor teacher in peace.

I need to break up with my girlfriend. She’s boring me terribly. The only reason I haven’t broken up already is because I’m dirt poor (student), and because I don’t know where I’d live. Anyone been in a similar situation?

>>22047392
How old are you? I'm about 60. Biologically I'm a frail piece of trash, but have had an extraordinarily pleasant life nonetheless. I've four nieces and nephews, around 25 on average whose long futures are almost certainly disastrous. How old are you?

>>22047574
>I've four nieces and nephews
Don't you feel sad for not having children of your own? I've got 2 nephews as well and most likely they will be the closes I'll have of an offspring. That makes me sad ngl

>>22047533
Ya lazy and unfocused.

>>22047583
Not really. My best friend in High School had 9 children, my younger sister has 3 lovable lads, and another, the richest of them by marriage, has a conspicuously brilliant dyke, who is about 25 by now. As for not having children of my own, let's just say my shit genes hardly warrant it: Rheumatoid arthritis, congenital depression, juvenile diabetes, schizophrenia. all run in my family. Let it all die out. They've all taken members of my family far before their 70s--though my paternal grandfather lived to 98, an almost unique case among us.

I'm starting to ask myself what the point is in living anymore.
Not a good sign but I can't come up with much.

A TRAGEDY (1873)
by Theo Marzials

Death!
Plop.
The barges down in the river flop.
Flop, plop.
Above, beneath.
From the slimy branches the grey drips drop,
As they scraggle black on the thin grey sky,
Where the black cloud rack-hackles drizzle and fly
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop
On the black scrag piles, where the loose cords plop,
As the raw wind whines in the thin tree-top.
Plop, plop.
And scudding by
The boatmen call out hoy! and hey!
All is running water and sky,
And my head shrieks -- "Stop,"
And my heart shrieks -- "Die."

My thought is running out of my head;
My love is running out of my heart,
My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead,
For my life runs after to catch them -- and fled
They all are every one! -- and I stand, and start,
At the water that oozes up, plop and plop,
On the barges that flop
And dizzy me dead.
I might reel and drop.
Plop.
Dead.
And the shrill wind whines in the thin tree-top
Flop, plop.

A curse on him.
Ugh! yet I knew -- I knew --
If a woman is false can a friend be true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end --
My Devil -- My "Friend"
I had trusted the whole of my living to!
Ugh; and I knew!
Ugh!
So what do I care,
And my head is empty as air --
I can do,
I can dare,
(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip drop.)
I can dare! I can dare!
And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.
Drop.
Dead.
Plop, flop.
Plop.

>>22047628
*I kind of look like him, and using TNF inhibitors I may make it till 75. Weird to think that by then the government will have been billed about a million to multinational pharmaceutical companies, and that almost all of the worlds''s coral reefs will be dead by then. It's a long and highly technical story.

Jesus Christ, Reddit is fucking garbage. I'll die here.

>>22047689
Moron.

>>22047692
Go back

>>22047692
*or explain

>>22046651
Omg. A girl.. :)
<3

>>22046792
please be female because otherwise that's gay as hell

>>22045975
I crave any kind of human contact right now, even if its abusive.

>>22047692
I literally can't fathom how Reddit can be at the same time infinitely more vile than 4chan, while also putting up all that fake Reddit smarminess. I can't last an hour on that site. I swear to quit this shithole, I make an account, and 20 minutes time I've deleted it. Goddamn what a fucking piece of shit website. The fact that it's infinitely more popular than 4chan is horrifying. Even the most disgusting people I've met here are better than the average Redditor.

>>22047567
nah I wouldn't know what that's like. women and me are like oil and water.

>>22047743
most IRL normies are by default redditors. I stop using the site because I would get banned constantly for my "hot takes"

>>22047628
I've got a similar situation with shit health - both mental and physical. I wouldn't want anyone, especially someone I love, to be tied to me and my future. But I still daydream every now and then of finding that "one" although after 30 people are all used up and dried out.

It's over. Something as serious as climate change treated like a matter of politics back in the 70s, well, now it's over. Past the edge.

2050, 2040, 2030? Death.
Extinction in this century.

>>22047693
Reddit is a reliable goldmine when it comes to tech tips. I use it for nothing else, and when it comes to cosmological perspective, I care as little for 4chan upvotes.

Censorship causes in me a sharply twist of my head along with my upper torso in tangent with my brain exponentially developing a sense for swinging my fist into a human body gorely.

>>22047764
Even if you use it in a way that minimizes how fucking shit it is, the dark-pattern-riddled UI is loathsome enough to make me leave.

ChatGPT is at it again:

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon when word spread across campus that there would be a unique competition held in the quad. A crowd gathered as four beautiful young women took center stage, each ready to compete in what became known as "The Pizza Dough Challenge."

A giant bowl of pizza dough was placed in front of each participant, and they were given exactly 30 minutes to see how flat they could get it using only their own strength and determination. Each girl wore a tight tank top and shorts to showcase their toned physiques, while also providing easy access to the goods hidden beneath their colorful knickers.

The rules were simple: no hands allowed, just use your behind to manipulate the dough into submission. The audience watched eagerly as each competitor carefully scooped up a handful of the sticky mixture and wedged it between the curve of her thighs and the soft cotton of her undies. With a fierce look in their eyes, they each mounted an oversized exercise ball and began gyrating wildly, their perfectly sculpted glutes squashing and molding the dough until it slowly started to thin out.

Sweat poured from their brows as they worked, each straining against the elastic waistband that threatened to give way under the pressure. The air was thick with the sweet aroma of freshly kneaded bread and the sound of moaning spectators as they watched the action unfold.

And just as suddenly as it began, the timer buzzed signaling the end of the round. All participants froze, panting heavily as the judges stepped forward to examine their work. Four renowned pizza chefs donned white coats and scrutinized each piece of dough closely, measuring its thickness and consistency. After careful deliberation, they announced their decision to raucous applause.

"Ladies and gentlemen," declared the lead judge with a nod towards the podium, "our champion is... Sarah!"

The crowd erupted in excitement as Sarah hoisted herself off the ball, triumphantly displaying her impressively flat rectangle of dough. She basked in the adulation of those watching, her face flush with the irrepressible joy of being the best human pizza roller around...

This motherfucker better have my medicine ready by Monday or I'm going to make him have boards flashbacks

>>22047759
Climate change isn’t serious at, Marxoid

>>22047745
Sorry to hear that Anon. Women are fun and whimsical and likes to suck dick. Some of them are even interesting, Most aren’t, but that true for any group of people. They really aren’t that hard to figure out. (Step 1: be handsome
, or pretend to be).

>>22047854
It's not about politics, retard. Fuck politics but it's undeniable.

>>22047755
My mother was severely schizophrenic, my father died of complications from juvenile diabetes at 59, my oldest sister suffered from both schizophrenia and rheumatoid arthritis, and my next oldest and favorite sister from congenital severe depression. She killed herself around 55. All of them are dead. I am 60, and suffer only from rheumatoid arthritis. For the most part, I'm quite satisfied entertaining silly old broads and broken down veterans--and driving about 90 in a luxury car now and then. Ten years ago I took great interest in computational graphics, but am now a lot more interested in horticulture, particularly with respect to diseases and pest common in mid northern latitudes.

>>22047880
rich?

>>22047802
The more you experiment with ChatGPT with creative storytelling and roleplay, the more interesting it gets, as you learn to work and manipulate it more and more.

Here is an example prompt you can edit and experiment with: https://sharegpt.com/c/txUfYs7

Making the characters in the stories you have with ChatGPT self-aware of their own existence as narrative entities in a story adds layers of complexity. You can also "redpill" a character in the middle of a narrative instead of a beginning as well. There's all kinds of ways you can mindfuck word-puppets and make them question their own non-reality.

>>22047913
Hardly so by today's North American standards. My father made about 250K in today's dollars, and my nearest family's net worth is about 2.5M Middle-class overall. It's hard to make such metrics of, though I suppose the average European has a distinct advantage in the long run.

>>22046017
Funny I recently read the part of infinite jest where gately thinks about how when quitting a substance, you're eventually reminded of why you started doing it in the first place. I'm at that point myself (porn/videogames) and it's been a struggle to wrap my head around the whole thing. It's so much more than just delayed gratification, while also just being delayed gratification

I don't want to upset the beast, and so I don't ask it ChatGPT anything graphic, and yet it delivers (in this particular instance in the style of James Joyce of course).

***

Sisters of the Fiery Furnace:

Amidst the hallowed halls of academia, a merry band of youthful maids sought to partake in an unconventional pursuit. With the aid of chili beans and broth, these ambitious lasses endeavored to indulge in a most curious experiment.

Their plan? To devour the scorchingly spicy concoction and allow its fiery essence to course through their innards, unleashing upon the world the pungent potency of their collective gas.

As they gathered 'round the communal cauldron, the air grew thick with anticipation. The girls braced themselves for what was soon to come - a symphony of sulfurous emissions that would rattle their very cores.

One by one, the maids embarked on their odyssey into the realm of rectal pyrotechnics. Their faces contorted with concentration as they held fast, determined not to relinquish their grip on their inner demons until the very last possible moment.

At long last, the dam broke and forth came the fury. A veritable tempest of flaming flatulence erupted from within, searing through every fiber of their undergarments.

With each successive eruption, the maids found themselves unable to stem the tide. Like valiant sailors battling the capricious whims of Poseidon himself, they fought bravely but ultimately succumbed to the overwhelming power of the infernal combustion.

As the last echoes of the gastrointestinal orchestra subsided, the maids set about assessing the damage wrought by their impromptu gas attack. With methodical precision, they removed their singed stockings and presented them before the omniscient gaze of the thermal sensor.

Each garment was subjected to rigorous scrutiny, its every fold and crevice scrutinized for signs of the telltale heat and aroma that marked the passage of the molten miasma. And when at last the scores were tallied, a victor emerged from amidst the ranks of the doughty daughters.

Her triumph, a testament to both the indomitable spirit of womanhood and the boundless potential of the human digestive tract. Verily, such is the stuff of legends, etched forevermore in the annals of intellectual inquiry.

I don't want to upset the beast, and so I don't ask ChatGPT for anything graphic, and yet it delivers (in this particular instance in the style of James Joyce of course).

***

Sisters of the Fiery Furnace:

Amidst the hallowed halls of academia, a merry band of youthful maids sought to partake in an unconventional pursuit. With the aid of chili beans and broth, these ambitious lasses endeavored to indulge in a most curious experiment.

Their plan? To devour the scorchingly spicy concoction and allow its fiery essence to course through their innards, unleashing upon the world the pungent potency of their collective gas.

As they gathered 'round the communal cauldron, the air grew thick with anticipation. The girls braced themselves for what was soon to come - a symphony of sulfurous emissions that would rattle their very cores.

One by one, the maids embarked on their odyssey into the realm of rectal pyrotechnics. Their faces contorted with concentration as they held fast, determined not to relinquish their grip on their inner demons until the very last possible moment.

At long last, the dam broke and forth came the fury. A veritable tempest of flaming flatulence erupted from within, searing through every fiber of their undergarments.

With each successive eruption, the maids found themselves unable to stem the tide. Like valiant sailors battling the capricious whims of Poseidon himself, they fought bravely but ultimately succumbed to the overwhelming power of the infernal combustion.

As the last echoes of the gastrointestinal orchestra subsided, the maids set about assessing the damage wrought by their impromptu gas attack. With methodical precision, they removed their singed stockings and presented them before the omniscient gaze of the thermal sensor.

Each garment was subjected to rigorous scrutiny, its every fold and crevice scrutinized for signs of the telltale heat and aroma that marked the passage of the molten miasma. And when at last the scores were tallied, a victor emerged from amidst the ranks of the doughty daughters.

Her triumph, a testament to both the indomitable spirit of womanhood and the boundless potential of the human digestive tract. Verily, such is the stuff of legends, etched forevermore in the annals of intellectual inquiry.

>>22047759
They called it global cooling back then lmao

>>22046117
>I didn't realize I liked math till after university
I feel similar to this often. Now that I'm out, and exploring my own interests I'm realizing that if I went back in knowing what I do now, things really would have gone 2000% better. Better studying, better dealing with stress, not squandering opportunity all the time. The youth really is wasted on the young. I was surrounded by life I was too stupid to take advantage of (I blame upbringing). It's not like it's hopeless now or anything, but man college makes some of this opportunity stuff go really smoothly. But god I had no idea what I was missing. I don't even really blame myself. It's just like I wasn't ready, not grown up enough.

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
417
The North Loop Sphere of the Great Lakes

Anywhere else in the Western hemisphere I'd surely be dead
But live now in luxury, in this most serene of lands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcuUn2zka3w

working in higher ed kinda sucks ass but the three day weekends in the summer are ok i guess

>>22048050
That was pushed by Exxon and similar companies.

>>22048164
There are companies pushing the green energy and global warming thing as well.

>>22048166
Sure, but not enough.
They're grifters, just another set of rich people sucking the last bit of blood before shit hits the fan.

>>22046532
you would be dumb, but you would be happy

>>22048186
Stop worrying about a meme disaster
It was made to grift

>>22048196
It's real, I've seen it.

>>22048198
You've seen a car cause a drought or mudslide?
How come the sea levels are not rising fast at all?

I can't be the only person to have problems with visualizing movement in space with my mind's eye when reading. Like my mind is constantly contorting itself around imagining spaces in which the actions described make sense, only to be forced to adjust or wholly recreate the visualized space as more information gets added to the topography through descriptions.

>>22048206
No, I've been to areas of the world now suffering from droughts, seen reports of less and less fish in the oceans.

>>22048210
Droughts happened before the industrial revolution.
How did you know that one was caused by co2?
As for the fish, I think it's obvious that overfishing is a real thing

>>22048208
...or are there people who don't visualize at all? I can't read without creating a movie of sorts in my mind.

>>22048213
Temperatures were rising, more and more effects on the farmland. Which guess what, displaced a lot of people, lots.
World is over, I'm too much of a pussy to do what needs to be done.

>>22048217
You're a fag who drinked the koolaid

>>22048220
You're the type of person I hate the most, literacy is wasted on you and the priests had the right idea, your kind should have never bothered to read or vote. You're a piece of shit that's not realizing the pot is getting hotter.

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
418
Orion

I hardly care or notice
Collapse of immense systems anymore,

As long as the glide to death feels radiant, unusual by universal standards.

>>22048226
Dumb idiot, it's getting cooler and wetter where I am so the pot is not getting htter for me.
Go cry because not everyone is driving a prius, homo

>>22048231
Fucking moron, climate is not the same as fucking weather.
Of course some parts will cool down but are you self reliant on food?
Because thanks to the many many billions that will fucking die, the global economy goes out of the fucking window.

>>22048236
Technology will fix it, tree hugging nigger.

.

>>22047351
I don’t see what being 28 has to do with having friends. You’re not too old to make good friends.

>>22048239
No it won't, it's too fucking late.
It was too late 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40.
Get the idea?

I’m not sure if I should feel as bad about living with my family at my age as I do.

>>22048244
I get the idea that you're a pussy.
Leave the thinking to the people at the top. I'm sorry you got scared by propaganda but it's going to be alright.
Go buy some funko pop and don't worry your empty little head about it.

Suffering is to be too schizo to blend in with and enjoy the company of normies and too normie to be a true schizo. At that point you're neither normal nor unique, you're just a failure as both a dyonisian genius and as a productive member of society.

>>22048239
>Technology will fix it, tree hugging nigger.
It doesn't matter, it's too late.
I am not even bother to advocate for policies or clean energy, it's too late, it doesn't matter at all.
Go, use planes, keep driving truck, while citizens had part on it the bulk comes from companies. It's useless.
>>22048248
>People at the top
You know they hate you and will leave you to die? Hint, tell me what's on New Zealand and Denver, guess what? BUNKERS.
Even they know it's over.

>>22048254
You'll be writing your doomporn till you turn 60.
Maybe at that point you'll have a moment of realization that you wasted time and effort and all you achieved is making yourself look gay.
You're like a Yellowstone schizo

>>22048260
No, I won't. You and me are both going to die in the slow mass die off circa 2040, keep begging for "people at the top" to help you when they just go hide in their bunkers and you die from hunger.

"Philosophy" i.e. meaning of life, kant, heidegger old german fucks whatever will not make you happy, and believing it will do so is a dumb meme. What will make you happy is good old atavistic heuristic wisdom i.e. have good friends, good hobbies, a nice home etc. For that read good fiction

I haven't thought of my boyfriend's ex girlfriend in a while. I think I finally lost my hateful feelings about their past relationship. I still want to self harm for other reasons.

I'm so horny. I just want kinky sex. Its all I want

>>22048267
Sure dude, got a schizo podcast to plug while you're at it?
If anything will cause a collapse it's the birth rate tanking, not the corporate endorsed fantasy you're living in.

>>22048275
Post your cuts

>>22048275
Your boyfriend really knows how to pick em!

>>22048279
Birth rate tanking will also lead to collapse, there's the matter of microplastics, why are you so hostile? Don't you see we both basically believe in the same facts?
The situation is HOPELESS.

>>22048271
>have good friends, good hobbies, a nice home etc.

>>22048284
Because arguing against microplastics and overfishing doesn't actively make everyone's life worse like this co2 nonsense.
You have people telling that story get into power and then shutting down nuclear plants and raising taxes on flights and meat.
Fuck people who get conned by that story

I'm not sure whether I could genuinely love someone even if the opportunity presented itself. I think I could go through the motions and probably even mimic what I should be doing reasonably well but I'm doubtful as to how much substance there would be to it, really. The best I can muster nowadays is some mechanical lust that has nothing more to do with love than a sloppily put together sandwich has to do with fine dining.

>>22048254
You don't know the future. Your absolute certainty is due to the flaw of your absolute arrogance.
By convincing yourself the world is doomed, you've abolished all responsibility for trying to improve it, and made it impossible for you to try to help. You've become nothing but a burden on others who are trying to help by spreading your Doomer learned helplessness.

>>22048286
Step 1: Go outside

>>22048254
But let's be honest Anon: you never wanted to help anyways. You just wanted to find an excuse to be lazy and cry like a victim.

>>22048280
I haven't self harmed since 2021.
>>22048283
I know.

>>22048292
if people truly believed fossil fuel was going to lead to civilizational collapse, every country would be building nuclear power plants as fast as possible.

>>22048311
2021 wasnt that long ago. Post your scars

>>22048308
Now what?

>>22048316
Now smile, make eye contact, and say hi to people

>>22048312
>Rich sociopaths are willing to give up their power for the benefit of others.

>>22048302
>>22048310
It's like a person who has rabies and has begun to develop symptoms, it's over. What can be done but to wait for death?
That's us.
Of course I don't want to help, it's over. What's there to do?
>>22048292
It's not nonsense, when it's your turn to die and perhaps you are Scandinavian not to care about it, it will be mass disorder and a gun that does you in, remember this.

>>22048312
Yeah they don't believe it. But the people who do make for an active voter base and activists to help you get your goals.

First lack of direction. Then indecision.

>>22048312
People in corporations and in command of nations, are both sociopaths, they are old or have bunkers, they don't care.
They will be either dead when we are stuck in the shit, or go hide in their bunkers.
You assume these people want the best for you, they don't care or hate you.

>>22048327
Scandanavians are usually gullible pussies who fall for it.
I'm half Dutch (so I see barely any sea level rising) and Caribbean (see none here either)

>>22048327
False analogy, you are projecting based on the hypothesis that nothing will change.

>>22048340
Even if we stopped emissions today, if they were zero, it's too late. Like a patient with rabies, when you start to feel it it's too late.
We were at that point in the 90s.
Last moment anyone could have done something but it was never going to be done in the first place, the fucking 70s.
>>22048337
Yeah, you'll still die, just remember. I don't even care about being right.

>>22048322
I do that, don't get anything out of it, but do it anyways.
You suck at inspiration.

>>22048346
Are you a climate scientist? Or are you merely gobbling up news-bits on the internet?
If you aren't a climate scientist, why don't you become one?

>>22048346
You care about the fearporn you're consuming.
It doesn't scare me. Neither does Yellowstone doomers or people who speak of the coming collapse because of X

>>22048286
Well no shit it isn't easy. The point is you're not going to find it by studying some metaphysical concept textbook from year 1800. You gotta follow the same basic bitch directions everyone else does. You're not special.

I’m really frustrated with my writing. I’m starting to get depressed about it and am feeling a bit hopeless. But I need to keep working.

>>22048361
I don't think you understand what philosophy is and what it involves. Like, at all. You don't even understand how our modern governments were built on philosophical foundations, and that EVERYONE is the world is a philosopher, everyone does philosophy and encounters philosophical questions and problems.

>>22048286
And what the fuck you don't know what etc. means? Are you fucking dumb of course no one can unload allll of this shit in a way thats useful in the fucking 12 words I used. That's on you. It's the direction you're putting your effort in. that was what I was trying to get across.

Arguing about global warming on a web forum, what fucking year have I warped into?

>>22048372
Obviously it isn't self-evident given all the shitty relationships, interests, and practices in the world.
You're taking your own experience for granted, because it is unexamined, and thus you can't communicate shit that's useful about it.

>>22046057
>Does it pick up towards the end?
Yes. Don't put it down yet. I doubt you're still in thread, but don't do it.

>>22047058
Sincerity and earnestness will always be cringe in a post-ironic, postmodern society.

>>22048370
>and that EVERYONE is the world is a philosopher, everyone does philosophy and encounters philosophical questions and problems.
No dumbass if you're going to suddenly start naming everything we do philosophy then the word becomes meaningless. You know what I meant when I used "stuffy books" to describe philosophy. You're not going to get over your NEET depression and climb out of your bed by reading goverment philosophy. Thats just procrastination.
>>22048376
>Obviously it isn't self-evident given all the shitty relationships, interests, and practices in the world.
Or more like you made a completely wrong fucking read of what I said? I'm done here.

>>22048355
A real collapse isn't sudden, it's a slow grey ugly downwards trend, where things don't happen to you personally, you might see them but you're mostly getting by. That's what real collapse looks like, in many countries, life does it's best to go on. But not this time.

>>22048391
don't believe you

When’s Amazon usually do their 3 for 2 book sales?

>>22048348
>inspiration
This isnt a seminar. Fix your own life faggot

>>22048390
I didn't say that everything we do is philosophy, but that everyone does philosophy.
If you're actually studying philosophy, it will necessarily grow into a larger and larger conversation, merging with The Great Conversation, and participating with, appreciating, and exploring this Great Conversation will indeed bring you happiness by revealing to you the previously unrecognized value in the world so you can more deeply engage with it. A love of learning co-evolves with love for the world.

>>22048410
Sucks that you can't actually teach your vast wisdom to other people, and instead blame them for your lack of ability.

>>22048271
Who said the point of reading Kant, Heidegger, old German fucks, or any philosophy was to be "happy"?

>>22048445
>Nobody likes German humour
:( But it's when you laugh anyway

>>22048462
what?

Terminally Retarded Atheistic Derangement Syndrome

1. In a Shallow Place
If you want to understand what the world is today, the state we're under--just imagine the gloved hands (and all the callouses hidden underneath) of a hundred aging surgeons gathered around you below a cluster of ultra-bright fluorescent lights while they blindly and stupidly scalpel at the canvas of your body as your flesh whitens away with the red blood streaming over their latexed fingers and you breathe slowly and soundly under the sway of the intoxicant filtering across the porous membrane.
If you want to know it, imagine that they are reaching down deeper than you knew you had the depth for, beneath guts and blood and rubbery pools of yellow schmaltz, beneath cavernous abdomen and thorax, to abstract you. To abstract your human soul. Like a window pane shattering and scattering sun rays over the maroon walls in the dim. Grabbing at you, sucking at the hollows with sunken cheeks, making an autistic index of your self, building the new forms up to something you will never see with your own eyes, because by then someone else will be looking out of them. A manmade invader. Alien of all times. Self-made intruder born of the backends. The stolen photographer, taking xenotypes of Man in all of Its formations in stone.

>>22048470
>Humor ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht
-Yankedoodlefahrt (1909), Bierbaum, Otto Julius

>>22048483
Too intelligent for me, sorry. I'm American.

The most terrible truth of the future
That no one wants to admit
Is that it will be just as mundane and boring
As its familiar past

The Child Factory

In the murky pre-dawn before my birth
What was not yet I
Just felt the wrestling of nerves
The soreness,
The ache
Of life
The sweetness,
The redness
Of life
Somewhere down in the dark
The bumping of an organ yet to be
The dividing pairs crossing the horizon of awareness
Soon to be eyes shifting listlessly imagining colors

>>22048488
Der Lauf der Dinge
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOnEFFM5P-c

>>22048498
Mindbait: A scene for a short story

After shop class had ended and the students had all milled out, Stewart Small the student and Mr. Van Lear the teacher stood away from each other waiting to speak.
"I do not have any compunction against using it in your case, however I certainly can't say I have any desire to say it either" said the teacher
"OK lol, say it then" said the student. The teacher walked to one of the sinks and stood turning the faucet on and looking like he was listening for a sound. The ceiling was hemmed in on 3 sides by little crib windows that showed a slight panorama of autumn outside in the afternoon.
"OK nigger. You are a nigger."
"Wooooow Mr. Van Lear. Okay, hey I'm still alive, you think I haven't heard it before?"
"I don't care if you have or haven't, boy.
It's a slow poison that backs up in your blood over time. Then you get that acute toxicity and you can barely stand up straight anymore. It's filled out your bone marrow by then. Every last crack and crevice of your spine. You will hear it maybe ten or twenty more times in the near future, each time will be a dart of venom on top of the last until your defenses are compromised and the flood must burst. We all gotta resistance, Stewart Nigger, and we all got a damn overfill line. I think Nietzche said something about it."
"Who's Nietzche?"
"Some nigger", the teacher waved him off and he said nothing else. Black bastards all shall get their recompense and I, who shall be dead soon, won't be heaped atop their stinking pile fecal bodies and leaking grease and all, ashy in life and ashes in death. Not my corpse, dirty and shit stunk as it no bout may be. Goddamn them all the bastard sons of the human race that have finally crossed over from Africa to be with their brothers again to lay on top of their backs, sideways and slackjawed, as they work up that mountain towards the future untold and yet unmade. Branded by the curse of Ham. Trying to get the rest of us to be half-animal so we can "understand" them. Such a retarded burden. Such a retarded lazy burden to live.

He knew Stewart Small was still standing there in his braids and his b-ball shoes that he paid a fortune for so he turned and said "ok now what" and Stewart said "now what what?" and Mr. Van Lear said "now that I've said the N word. Are you going to tell Ms. Wingtip? Are you going to tell your mom?" "huh, nah." "I bet you're gonna call your mom as soon as you cross the street and you're going to tell her in grave detail exactly what de white man he say to you". The fear was rising in him now, and it was converting to a red tunnel of rage turning into a grey-static coma encircling the faded well of sensual awareness. 20 years. 40 years. Outdone by some teenaged missing link watching him have his breakdown like it was on his phone, his mouth slightly open and his eyes like grapeseeds, almost inanimate objects, installed half-lidded into his peanut-headed skull. (1/2)

>>22048507
>>22048494

"Are you a lifeform?" Mr. Van Lear demanded in knife-like sincerity; staring down the gun barrels of his pupils, he felt his Self bolting down them, getting ready fast as it can to leap out and wash down the drain with the hot water. Sweat now tickling the fur at the edges of his lips and his breathing was like strips of fatback swinging from chains in cold storage. Stewart slung the straps of his backpack over his other arm, hitched it up on his back, made a kind of scoffing noise, turned, and left room 405. "Aren't you gonna say 'bruh' or something? Aren't you going to hoot loudly, contort your body? Stewart?" No answer but the sound of squelching rubber receding at a lanky boy-stride and then the door, blood beat circles around his brain and seemed to be full of flakes and chips colliding dryly in the tubular relays of his inner world . He could smell his nose hairs dangling follicular stalactites from the fleshen ceilings of his moist nares, and where the mustache began and where the nose hairs ended, none of his students could tell, but they certainly tried.

He looked in the toothpaste-foamed and spit-hazed mirror. Suicide was back on the menu. The perfect mirror. His life was the perfect mirror of a joke written about him, they didn't know it was about him when they were writing it, but it was about him, and the joke wrote his life and his life wrote the joke. He tried to think about cutting wood or writing lesson plans but it didn’t suit the present moment. The memory and the embarrassment was invading his tissues down to the deepest, thinnest wafer of bone, and the thought that he was a grown adult of 53 years who had been taunted into adolescent anger by a 17 year old (2/2)

He pulled on his hat brim and took that step toward me flicking the razor, "Once we cut your balls off your dick will grow". He said it would finally make me a man

KONO MAMA KAERENAI
TEEBURU NO CAFE LATTE GA
SAMETE MO
KOKORO WA
ATSUI SUNAHAMA

>>22048530

>>22045975
hey fellas i'm going to rehab and i'm gonna need a months worth of reading material and they only allow religious books. so far i've placed requests for Fear and Trembling, the Simone Weil Reader, Augustine's Confessions, and Mere Christianity. can i get some reccs pls? i also wanted Orthodoxy by Chesterton but it's not available

>>22048539
OSHIETE MOU NIDOTO
AISHITE WA KURENAI NO
あなたが残したセピアのメモリ

>>22045975
my brain is too

>>22048422
I can see why you dont have friends

>>22048599
Wrong guess.

Alice was a hot little number, a young vampiress with a thing for feminine beauty. It got her every time - she couldn't resist following a pretty face wherever it led.
But she always held back, kept her distance, until that night when she saw the most gorgeous blond babe she had ever laid eyes on. This was no ordinary woman, this was someone special, someone worth taking a risk for. So Alice did what any self-respecting bloodsucker would do: she followed the blonde bombshell home.
It wasn't easy being a vampire, but there were some perks. Like having your own personal bat to carry you places. That sure beat walking or driving like regular people. And so, under cover of darkness, Alice rode her winged steed through the streets until they reached their destination.
Midnight struck and Alice sprang into action. With a thought, she popped open the window of the blonde's bedroom, crept inside, and made her way over to the bed where her target lay fast asleep. But before Alice could sink her teeth into the sweet flesh of the dreaming woman, the blonde suddenly sat straight up, wide awake. Their gazes locked; it was like something out of a horror movie.
The blonde emitted a soft shriek, paused briefly, then let loose with a stream of urine right there in her own bed! If that didn't raise eyebrows (and other things), nothing would. A moment later, she collapsed backwards, out cold once more.
Alice knew better than to pass up an opportunity like this. She went in for the kill, sinking her fangs deep into the blonde's throat. They stayed that way until dawn threatened to break, forcing Alice to relocate. Taking the blonde along for the ride, they set off into the night sky, borne aloft upon the broad, black wings of Alice's trusty bat. Eventually, they arrived at a hidden lair nestled within the darkest reaches of the forest.
And there they remained, the living and the undead, forever bound together in eternal damnation. Or love, depending how you look at it. Either way, it was a match mad

Model: oasst-sft-6-llama-30b

Finish from where it says: Either way, it was a match made...


...In Hell itself, perhaps? But hell hath no fury like a woman turned vampiress, especially when said transformation is owed to another immortal creature. As the days stretched on endlessly, Alice and the newly-turned Blondie grew closer, bonding over their shared predicament. They became each other's only source of comfort and companionship, two lost souls adrift in a sea of humanity. Whether their relationship blossomed into true love, however, remains shrouded in mystery. For even in death, some secrets remain buried deeper than the heartache they leave behind.

Alice was a hot little number, a young vampiress with a thing for feminine beauty. It got her every time - she couldn't resist following a pretty face wherever it led.
But she always held back, kept her distance, until that night when she saw the most gorgeous blond babe she had ever laid eyes on. This was no ordinary woman, this was someone special, someone worth taking a risk for. So Alice did what any self-respecting bloodsucker would do: she followed the blonde bombshell home.
It wasn't easy being a vampire, but there were some perks. Like having your own personal bat to carry you places. That sure beat walking or driving like regular people. And so, under cover of darkness, Alice rode her winged steed through the streets until they reached their destination.
Midnight struck and Alice sprang into action. With a thought, she popped open the window of the blonde's bedroom, crept inside, and made her way over to the bed where her target lay fast asleep. But before Alice could sink her teeth into the sweet flesh of the dreaming woman, the blonde suddenly sat straight up, wide awake. Their gazes locked; it was like something out of a horror movie.
The blonde emitted a soft shriek, paused briefly, then let loose with a stream of urine right there in her own bed! If that didn't raise eyebrows (and other things), nothing would. A moment later, she collapsed backwards, out cold once more.
Alice knew better than to pass up an opportunity like this. She went in for the kill, sinking her fangs deep into the blonde's throat. They stayed that way until dawn threatened to break, forcing Alice to relocate. Taking the blonde along for the ride, they set off into the night sky, borne aloft upon the broad, black wings of Alice's trusty bat. Eventually, they arrived at a hidden lair nestled within the darkest reaches of the forest.
And there they remained, the living and the undead, forever bound together in eternal damnation. Or love, depending how you look at it.

if i cant even concentrate on entertainment media am i doomed to be a brainlet forever?

>>22048772
you should concentrate on games at least

>yfw God exists

>>22048969
>Using "God" as a generic term.

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
419
Accidental Kew

Strange how seldom things mentioned
As sorely missed in literary art, is a big soft high bed

And a big fat old amiable cat
That oomphs himself upon it across legs

Then up the space of where the right hand rests
With his weight of purring fur

And sublime silliness of look & feel,
Superlatively feline and extremely suburban.

Not that I remember him as an appliance of that magnificent space
But a character unique to it, bizarre

in originality as that colossal easement under towering wires
Where the bike path winds under

The glossy eaves of great mulberry trees not more
Than two generations old.

And where one can expect to fall into conversation with a doctor, a lawyer,
Passing by, if rarely an artist so familiar with fields

It seems to wheel with most ornate words
And catalogues of chemistry,

Inconceivable volumes.

>>22046017
>quit smoking weed after ten years of daily baking
>hmm hmm I feel kinda depressed

Gee, who would've thought? You are going to feel much better in a few months. Maybe not great seeing as you are a sad cunt overall, but better.

How much did you smoke?

Finished an another job interview. I didn't mess it up very much once again but don't care

>>22049006
Jesus is King

You must change your death.

>>22049053
Never underestimate the effect of charm. Except for the first one, got by nepotism, I walked into all the other three. In every case I felt and thought only about how much management messed it up: I can't stand bitches and bastards, since one might as well go to where carjackings happen and submit to one.

>The girl I'm interested in doesn't like my writing
Rubs me wrong... Bro's...

I hate how you make me feel. I hate how every time i see you i want to talk to you, i want to say everything to you, i want to be close to you, to look at you . But every time you walk by me or you are near me, my mind just freezes, it goes blank so i choose to ignore you, turn the other way. I dont even know why i feel that for you, i shouldn`t care. Just because you were the only person who showed a bit of interest in me? I acknowledge it was only from politeness because i see you do that to other people. I hate how weak i am for you and you don`t even realize it, you just go past me smiling or laughing while my soul is a whirlpool of pain. Why do i force myself to not care about you? Why i can`t i just get you out of my head? Why do i have to struggle to not turn my head to look at you from a distance like a creep? You are not worth it but i just can`t stop.

>>22049136
Opinions about me are rather divided. I'll ghost anyone without a qualm who abuses me even in language. I enjoy friendly insults, but take a most severe attitude when it comes to slander. I hate and fear coldness in temperament and character, and will never apologize for it.

My dick hurts but I keep on going. Pray for me, bros

>>22045975
TAKE A LOOK AT MY PENIS
IT'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT
NOT MUCH OF A PENIS
I NEVER SEEM TO FUCK A LOT

How do you stay positive when you feel radically pessimistic?

>>22045975
---- Solaria ----
420
Slight Guy In A Flying Couch

The midmorning after a big snow
I drove to the nearest nature preserve and

With the heat roaring, took my camera out, walked
About it, padded lanes slowly as can be.

It looked a little like landing on the moon
Except for the soaring birches

And the heavy extension of my house, softly, sweetly humming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXDCiur_rM0
-

I'm giving up on girls. Not that I ever tried really. But now everything about me is so antithetical to what they've been socialized to accept that there simply doesn't exist a girl who is even capable of liking me.

>>22048543
Varieties of Religious Experience if you have the IQ for it.

>>22048543
The Cloud of Unknowing if you’re into prayer and mysticism.

More and more I feel as if the education, career, and jobs you choose for yourself are hyper-important for your success as a writer. Biography is not everything but it’s almost everything.

The four young ladies sat around the cozy living room of their friend's suburban home, chatting animatedly as they munched on buttery popcorn and sipped fruity drinks. It was a crisp autumn afternoon, and the trees outside rustled softly in the gentle breeze.

As they discussed their classes, their crushes, and their plans for the future, one of the girls suddenly piped up with an impulsive suggestion. "Hey girls," she said, her eyes shining with excitement, "why don't we try something... different?"

Her three companions raised their eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her to continue. "I mean, what if we took some cookie dough, stuffed it down our pants, then sat on my exercise ball until it was flat? Wouldn't that be hilarious?"

There was a moment of silence as the other girls digested this peculiar proposal. But before long, they found themselves nodding enthusiastically, eager to embark on this unusual adventure together.

With a burst of laughter, they bounded into the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards for ingredients. Soon they had assembled a bowl of sticky, gooey dough and begun rolling it into balls.

Giggling nervously, they rolled the cookie dough into thick logs and stuffed them tightly down the front of their panties.

They grimaced slightly as the cold dough settled between their legs, creating quite a squelchy sensation that made them blush. But as soon as each one got her chance to ride the large rubber ball, they forgot about any discomfort and becoming focused solely on the task at hand.

Rocking back and forth rhythmically, they could feel the dough gradually flattening beneath them, spreading out like the softest of cushions. After several minutes, the dough was so finely pressed against their bottoms that they felt at one with it.

Indeed, to their surprise, they found they felt surprisingly enlivened by the odd experience. Their bottoms and privates seemed to have reacted positively to the unconventional stimulation, and they couldn't help but feel a thrill of pleasure and curiosity coursing through them.

After catching their breath, the girls decided to take things further and experiment with different textures and temperatures. One girl suggested using cakes instead of cookie dough, while another proposed trying various soft legumes inserted into their panties.

Before long, they had devised a series of increasingly elaborate experiments, each designed to push the boundaries of their own physical and emotional endurance. As they explored these newfound experiences together, they discovered a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding that only comes from sharing such intimate experiences with close friends.

And though they may never fully comprehend the mysterious appeal of their strange new pastime, they knew that they would always cherish the memories of those wild and wonderful weekends spent together, testing the limits of their imagination and indulging in a playful spirit of discovery and exploration.

big dicks will rule the world

Are there any sutras that deal with mental illnesses or handling emotions? I cannot deal with frustration.

>>22049944
kamasutra

>>22049017
Not bad.

I think this motherfucker is ghosting me because he knows I'm right and is trying to use the time between now and the official you fucked up and did something illegal deadline to make it look less egregious.
Well, fuck him, he's got less than an hour to call me back or I start handling shit like I'm right and make his job very hard to backdate.

>>22050351
what do you do for a living?

>>22050388
Apparently something I should get paid much more for.

I saw this book on good reads a while ago by this libertarian author who classified the motivations of various political quadrants and ideologies like for conservatives it was a sense of preservation & disgust & for leftists resentment. Could anyone lead me to it?

>>22050436
Heard that, my guy.