/lit/ - Literature

>>22028154
Are you handsome? If so, don't worry, smile more than you talk. You'll have no trouble, but you should know the best move is to only get a number so you can set up a date for a week or two down the road. Wedding hookups are typically always disasters.
Are you not? Walk away and find a girl that's fatter.

>>22028173
see >>22028130
whoops

>>22028179
Just stop

I don't know who I am, what I want and what I should do of my life and my future.
I just don't know and I can't think of it, the more I reflect, the more I'm stuck.
I feel empty and numb.

>>22028188
stop what? replying to the last thread?

>>22028194
Stop flirting if you're failing. Take the hint, walk away. Done.

>>22028197
I was giving advice, I'm not at the wedding. I forgot to link the relevant post so I double-posted to link it.

Yes, I think anon should stop, assuming that he is not handsome. Handsome men are allowed to flirt at weddings, it's practically expected.

>>22028203
Oh i thought you were the drunk anon ruining the wedding

Thank you, mods.

>>22028154
DADF#BD (open d6) is an insane tuning, I;ve been using it for almost a decade now and I come up with something all the time when I play in it. try it out

>>22028154
if a girl has a guy's name it emphasizes her femininity, but if a guy has a girl's name it does NOT emphasize his masculinity. I think that femininity is inherent and assumed while masculinity has to be revealed/demonstrated through its practice. a man is not masculine but neutral until he has given you evidence that he is masculine. more evidence that women are closer to pure Being

I am desperately in need of sex...fuck!

>>22028154
>"Get off my lawn!"

>>22028208
>>22028203
I am the anon at the wedding. I am handsome. I got her number and vague plan to hangout later. We have no chemistry.

>>22028267
date the bride.

>>22028260
picrel has a point

>>22028267
Good. In terms of chemistry you probably should keep in mind she is probably nervous in general at her sister's wedding. So chemistry is going to be off no matter what.

>>22028154
I only have ONE dream in this life. I will pursue it, even if I risk being raped/killed/tortured etc (worst case scenario). It's incredibly easy, and yet...

>>22028290
what's the dream?

>>22028296
nta but I bet its biking across the middle east as a women without a head cover.

>>22028297
so you're a woman?

>>22028301
nta = not that anon
I'm not the original "dream" poster.

>>22028260
>2017
I hope anon lives to see the day. It’s not much long now.

>>22028304
half the world will insta-ban them, just watch.

>>22028303
I'm retarded, sorry

>>22028306
Doubt. Plying the masses with sexbots would be a good way to control people.

>>22028311
we all tard now now and then anon.

>>22028315
Iunno, existing governments and structures seem to side with women a lot. We'll see how it goes when they arrive, but I wouldn't be surprised if regulations were put on them because of all the bio-female dead eggers screaming about not being able to get married and how its the sexbots, the governments, and men's fault.

Testing if I'm still banned

>>22028392
yup your still banned!

I wish things were different. There were things I could’ve done.

Lately, I feel like there was some intellectual development regarding literature that I was supposed to have when I was younger, but didn’t. No book ever really impacted me or influenced me greatly when I was younger. No one author really interested me deeply

>>22028154

>>22028466
Thats okay, most of things that impacted me are fucking random. Believe it or not but Gran Moff Tarkin from Star Wars really influenced me when I was younger. No, not his philosophy but I always admired how stoic he was. I'd later find Ancient Roman and British people and characters with a similar kind of effect. While I wouldn't say that "Western Literature is dead" most of the "good books" coming out right now in the West are practical skills/self-help books. Other than that there is an explosion of Buddhist literature in the West right now that is pretty good.

>>22028475
>women: "We have no problem!"
>also women: *Invents a new problem.*
It honestly never fucking ends, I swear every year it gets more and more inane.

>>22028475
>Think of all the Australian women who work day and night to keep the Australian economy afloat
Are you fucking serious?

>>22028477
We always could’ve read classic literature at least. It would’ve been wasted on us, because we would’ve been more into anime or video games by default but somehow I still feel reading the classics would’ve been good, maybe even necessary in the long run. I do worry sometimes I got influenced too late to really do much with it.

>>22028533
>I got influenced too late to really do much with it.
Nonsense, Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon influenced Robert Greene to write "48 Laws of Power". I've heard people loved and hated the book, but literally he was in his 40s or 50s and when he read about Julius crossing that river it spurred him to become a famous writer. Do not worry about the future or about controlling life, it all flows naturally as long as you keep persistent and your eye on the prize. Also I know a lot of the classics growing up because my parents bought a lot of audiobooks and we would listen to them in the car. I never read the classics, but more I listened to them on long trips/car rides growing up. I have no idea if they influenced me or not, but they did give me a wider birth of knowledge when I was younger. Its probably why I never really liked Teletubbies or sesame street when I could listen to Sinbad the Sailor or The Trials of Hercules on tape.

>>22028533
you can still change when your older, it will just be more subtle and its always better late than never. Some people never have the chance to read the classics because they work shit jobs or can't even read. I've worked a number of blue collar jobs and it amazes me how many people I've worked with that struggle to read.

How have your dreams been?

>>22028654
I had a dream inside a cardboard box where I kept all my money had an anthill, and while I was trying to kill the ants a penis monster started to rise out of the hole, but I beat it off, and it sunk back down in the hole. When I turned to the illegal arms merchant, the penis monster popped back out and attacked my back.

Today I learned that while Fidel Castro was imprisoned by Batista's regime after his failed attack on the Moncada army base, he read voraciously, sometimes 14 hours a day, and started an unofficial school in his prison with fellow revolutionaries. He read immense amount of work from Kant, Dostoevsky, Hugo, Freud, Lenin, etc. Maybe I'll go get locked up and slowly accrue a prison library.

Almost finished reading Years of Rice and Salt

>>22028654
I had a really weird dream a couple of days ago, told my brother about it, then forgot it lol.

>>22028654
I have nothing to back it up, but I have a hunch. I 100% believe that electronic media or really anything electric that fucks with your sleep (maybe even light bulbs) retards your ability to remember your dreams. When I was on the Appalachian Trail I have crazy fucking vivid dreams that I could easily remember because, well I wouldn't say "it felt like reality" but I felt more "there" than any other dream I had had before. I can even remember them way more clearly than any other dream before. Now I'm back in society and I don't remember shit.

Being alone all these years has really messed me up

>>22028255
>f a girl has a guy's name it emphasizes her femininity,
Source?

>>22028255
>more evidence that women are closer to pure Being
Or its just a Roman cultural holdover. When you became of age its assumed that your Father's veritas did not pass to you. You have to prove it via acts to confirm your family's standing and your standing as your Father's son. Modern day masculinity is basically the Roman confirmation of veritas.

>>22028255
A girl name "John"

I don't know about this man

I will die unknown. The death is not to be something feared but cajoled and reigned. Tamed posessions of the golden moments created by that blossoming fringe in anterior convexes of human spirit. The places in the soul unfilled by predation. Softly buoyant emotions drifting at the surface while the leviathans called Love and Hate churn the great emotional sea.
Am I not this mariner!? Am I not the sacrifice of man to be put to the aging sun's kiss and too also be amongst the reflection of the sea of stars!?
I can't stand it and must sit with arms crossed. With eyes peering into the vague dark nothing before me and all of it in my head.

>>22028654
Very vivid. But not quite meaningful. Imagine your usual nonsense dream but crystal clear.

>>22028255
>>22028834
A boy named Sue
https://youtu.be/-Z1Ple-qYuU

Humanity is a broken philosophy

OK I finally unfollwed this stupid bitch

>>22028255
Nonsense. That’s a product of society, not Gods doing. Women are a portion of men, men are the whole

Tiktok/reels/stories, the fast food of information and media consumption, are causing unprecedented damage to language, public discourse and human thought patterns.
I don't mean to sound like a boomer, who's irritated at how behind the times he is, but I almost don't want to live long enough to see what breed of human this reckless ingestion of ultracompressed post-truths spawns.

All the incels itt who are hyper fixated on women or finding le trad obedient housewife have no clue how absolutely miserable they are going to be in a relationship.

friendship ended with Dostoevsky
now Mann is my best frend

>>22029160
i'm not sure 4chan is better than tiktok dude. this site is really bad on many levels.

I wish I had this direction when I was younger. Maybe things would’ve been different…

>>22028654
Haven’t remembered them in years. It feels like it’s been 10 years without a dream.

Warhammer achieved what Tolkien dreamt of in his idea of a shared legendarium, only it falls apart because of shitty writing. Warhammer nerds are also largely subhuman.

>>22028586
That is true but as a writer I can’t help but worry that the failure to really soak it all in like a sponge and identify creative influences as a young man is a failure from which I will never recover. The greats always start young. So did the goods actually. I’ve had a hard time finding my own voice and niche and I suspect it might be why.

>>22028475
>just let them vote bro
The absolute state of women

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOwgZCiKjrE
lmao at that white dude with a man bun and suit

>>22028319
You actually think sexbots will be for you? Please. The rich will have sexbots. You will settle for flesh and bone, and you know it. You will own nothing, and you will be happy.

Any reccs for wholesome books?
I am cucked to reading books that have depression in it.
Something like Life of Pi?

>>22029543
Notes from the Underground

>>22028654
In a recent dream I travelled on a train through a countryside of low, green hills and into a strange city of cathedrals and clocktowers. In the dream I switch between viewing the world outside the window and viewing the interior of the carriage. I did not have a ticket, and whenever I was afraid of being found out by a ticket inspector, I would turn form the window and perceive the people crammed together in the carriage, my own body shaped by the seat. Whenever I turned back to the window, however, the fear of being caught was replaced with feelings of calmness at the green landscape passing by and later feelings of wonder at the architecture of the city. I never depart from the train, and the train never arrives at a station. All I do is switch between these perspectives of the interior and exterior and their accompanying feelings of fear and peace. This is until I woke up, the last image being the hollow steeple of a church made of pale yellow brick.

>>22029552
Anon,
>through a countryside of low, green hills and into a strange city of cathedrals and clocktowers.
I have a similar dream. The clocktowers have lancet arches?

>pale yellow brick
Yep.
In my dream, the trees are mostly cypress put in a single line.

In my dream tho, there's also people. The people wear nice clothes but in black and white like Victorian-style clothing.

>fear and peace
Yeah I felt that too.

>>22029543
The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima. You might be suspicious of this recommendation but you can trust me on this. It’s a very comfortable little book.

im very very unhappy. i feel like shit physically. i don't want to be alive anymore. i don't understand why i hate myself so much, i'm a handsome young guy, pretty smart, not super poor. i'm a mental wreck. it must be genetic or something i dont fucking know

>>22029549
I have mixed feeling about this, but thanks!
>>22029589
Well, I stumbled into good reviews of that book, I forgot about it tho. Thanks!

I think I'm gradually growing into my own skin.

Do you guys think we are merely having survivor's guilt?
Especially for boomers and younger generation. Because we don't fight in wars?

That's why we're pretty depressed despite having quite, safe to say, an easier life?

>>22029632
Nice.

>>22028654
I noted it all down straight after i woke up a few weeks ago. That's also why its detailed.

I started off walking on a road to somewhere. I couldn't remember the reason or what i may have said but i needed to run. On a horse the police are chasing me, while i am riding away two other are in a car. Lovers, not on good terms with the police. As such when i next see a police car it is tipped over and damaged by me and my horse. After going further on, I am now walking. As i walk past I see the lovers again, this time in a crash, fire and debris is everywhere.

The man is searching for the woman, assuming that she is dead(burnt alive) he then in grief burns himself alive. Walking not too far on the woman is alive sitting on the ground. Feeling a compulsive need to run from the police before i was caught. I would get 10 years - resisting arrest x2, running from police, assaulting an officer etc. As i am running a somewhat sub-urban road I get a strong feeling of i must keep going fast. I come upon a right turn and i take it. Going through a sprawling sub-urban estate with small winding private roads. Very tightly packed, i run through them. I recognise this place as [-------]ton, but it is unlike anything i really remember it as. I run through it jumping over gardens fences for a while, exhilarating. As i leave the estate I am now at the top of an old [-------]ton. I proceed to walk so i am not caught running. I get a flashback(?).

I am younger, a woman i love is walking away says "It's ok you already have your own room". I go with my parents and my younger brother(I don't even have a younger brother IRL just one older), I am berated for something. I then go to a reception desk. She is a nun-up. This woman is telling me about other nun-ups and nun-up ups. She is finishing her shift and describing a nun-up says she is called the "cunt" but is actually one of the nicer ones. She hands me a bottle of vodka to drink. She walks away and i pour two shots. It smells pepperminty and tastes OK for vodka. She comes back and takes the vodka, drinks one shot.
---
I have absolutely no idea what i meant by this.

>>22029657
No. I think we're all reacting quite reasonably now that the internet has shown everyone how meaningless their existence is.
Though we have had a record number of mass shootings so not everyone is taking the news very well.

How many retards out there are dehydrated and don't even know it? It makes you feel like shit. Drink a glass of water every few hours you fucking retard. Put a pitcher in the fridge so it's cold, and drink a glass at regular intervals so it's part of your daily routine.

You will also feel much better if you cut 90%+ of processed foods and preservatives from your diet. But this is harder to do unless you're willing to learn to cook a few easy meals. Nevertheless, the best way to describe the difference between regularly eating processed food and preservatives and not eating any is like the difference between not having coffee and having coffee in the morning.

>>22029674
But sometimes, let's just say, things happen that's way out of our control. And to feel guilty it about is counter-intuitive, the conclusion I made living 25 years observing life as it unfurls.

If every . is an Earth then I'd need to post 5,000 posts of just . at maximum character limit to illustrate how many times the Earth goes into the Sun.

>>22029682
I agree with you anon, sometimes we procrastinate to eat. It's bad.

I feel weird about what I do for a living these days. Long story short, instead of waging after finishing university with a "useless" degree, I instead elected to turn an old hobby into a source of money and started daytrading. I had a rough start, but after about 6 months of serious full time effort (and losing a good portion of my savings), I started getting pretty good at it. A year in and it was smooth sailing every day. I've been doing it for a little over four years now and make a ridiculous amount of money with relatively little effort. I work 4 days a week and only about 3-4 hours a day, the only downside being that it's in the afternoon. I also set my own schedule completely and can simply chose not to work for a week and the only harm is that I only make 15 times the average wage, rather than 20 times. I make way more than anyone I know and far, far more than I'd ever make from a normal career. I also made sure I have diverse investments, local business I partially own and collect dividend from and so on. I'm as safe as one can be financially.

I grew up in a working class family, so for one, having this much money is just strange to me. I can afford basically everything I want and never have to think about money. I don't even care what things cost anymore, I just pay for them without a second thought. Don't get me wrong, it's great, but it still feels strange and on some level "wrong" to spend so much. It's not beyond my means, but it sure feels like it. What really feels wrong however is that what I do is not in any conceivable way useful. I pay taxes, but that's my only contribution to society, yet I have more money than I know what to do with while others who are doing crucial things are struggling financially. I literally just sit at my computer for a few hours a day, click a button sometimes, and get it right often enough to make a ridiculous amount of money. That's it. I create nothing, I help no one else create something, I don't provide a useful service, I don't do anything of value.

I don't have anything more or profound to say really, this is just something that has been on my mind a lot and figured I'd write a quick post in this thread. Before you ask, no, I'm not retarded enough to get a normal job out of guilt or anything, I'll stick to this. I just feel strange about it, that's all.

On the flip side if this . were one Sun then there wouldn't be a character of information small enough to convey the size of the Earth.

You are less than a billionth of that nothing amount of information.

>>22029704
>I've been doing it for a little over four years now
Wow. I admire your commitment, anon.

>>22029704
Get as rich as you possibly can but aim it all at breaking the system so that this is never possible again. There is no such thing as a "normal job" in this sort of economy. The whole point of the system is to force people into pathetic drudgery OR force the clever resourceful and/or lucky ones like you to thrive by clambering over the drudging ones and "exploiting the system" (really, elevating yourself into the system's necessary class of exploiters, so the system = working as intended), with the result that neither the drudgers at the bottom nor the exploiters are the top feel any meaning or any sense of community and can't see any way to break the cycle of pointless suffering and exploitation.

In ancient societies, merchants and especially money-changers were suspect classes because they didn't produce anything, only made money by moving the productions of others around. Obviously merchants are okay and provide an essential service, so this is slightly overzealous, but you can see how pre-modern societies had a basic and healthy suspicion of anyone who "just moves shit around" or "exploits the system." These people were much more visible to pre-modern mentality. For example, prior to the 18th century or so in Europe, advertising or marketing as we currently know them were unknown, and when they were introduced they were considered horrifying and undignified, because people's basic instincts told them that selling products on anything but their real actual merits was evil and slimy.

If things can change that much in a century or two, why can't they change back? Going back to drudgery isn't the ideal, instead you should work to destroy the system from inside it.

I'm finally going to university this year friends. Well open university but I already have a good job but I always wanted to study for a degree simply for the sake of it while not having to worry if it will get me a career.
It's English Literature and Philosophy modules, nothing outlandish and i know i can just read the books and get a similar result but it will be nice to have an actual education in it and do it in a more formal manner.

Since I was a little kid I have been repulsed by sex, nudity and so on. Something about my sexual desires as a teenager seemed to me to be so disgusting and vile. Books for this feel?

>>22028255
>lemme see that pussy, Randy, you feminine bitch, you

>>22029821
Do you feel attraction towards clothed feminine shape? I'm the same as you but I have a theory on why I ended up that way.

>>22029756
Congrats fren!

>It's English Literature and Philosophy modules
Are you influenced by /lit/?

>>22029728
I'm not sure I get the sarcasm. Or is it nor sarcasm? Four years for me means "since I finished my masters" and I will likely keep doing this until I'm old.
>>22029743
I'm not sure I understand what you mean and what my role in this you think I could have. Destroy this from the inside? Hah. The public facing portion of this segment of the financial industry (where I am just a spec of dust) is nothing compared to what lies beneath. This is a huge system designed around institutions, where people are allowed to participate only because legally they have to be allowed. If this changes in any way it will be towards being more restrictive where it servers the rich even more.

>>22029895
It's not sarcasm.
Welp, I did get a feeling when I wrote that "eh, some of these guys are going to say I'm just being sarcastic" but I proceed to post it anyway because I mean it.

>>22029907
It's hard to tell through text. Four years is not that long in this business, but way past the point most people give up or are forced out because they run out of money.

Words words words. Words, words words; words words words. Words words words. Words words words words words.
Words, words, words words words. Words words, words words words words.
Words words.
Words.

>>22029944
>way past the point most people give up or are forced out because they run out of money.
That's what I see from your story. That's why I am impressed.

I wonder what we will become in the year 2100.
I wonder if I would remember in 2060 that I used to use 4chan. I would remember lying down on my bed talking in the internet space. To whom? What happened to these people?

Thinking about this made my problems seem trivial.

I stopped telling people to kill themselves on the off-chance that I find someone damaged enough to actually do it.

men ain't shit

>>22030111
I stopped because it's rude and also at the Day of Judgement you'll probably meet everyone you were rude to and explain yourself. It's best to save the embarrassment and awkwardness.

Desiring relationships with people and actively trying to nurture them has really only ever hurt me, so I think I'll just deliberately push people away. I'm a short, ugly dude with a prickly personalty anyway so it's not like people are pushing each other over to approach me - usually I have to approach people first and force things a little in order to make any headway, so doing nothing will stop 99% of that. If someone did actively take an interest in me personally and try to pursue me, I'd suspect them of having ulterior motives and refuse to let them get close anyway.
This sounds kind of dramatic but after so many failed relationships and personal problems caused by poor communication skills, and many times where I ended up hurting people or burdening them because of my own autism, I've simply had enough.
My career goals are to find a way to work remotely or in a setting with a limited amount of human interaction so that I can move very far away from big population centers. I'd love to live in a remote cabin in Montana or Alaska and speak to another human being a couple times a year at maximum. I've already started working towards that.

>>22028154

the cold silent night bathes my memory in silent contentment of inaccessible mental landscapes and streams evoked by bitterness and envy of the mundane

I never found a community to discuss intellectual things with. I've actively looked for such things both online and offline for 10 years now. I was expecting to have found something by now but nothing. And no, it's but a case of "it's always been like this" it's just a very rare thing nowadays.

>>22029704
If it were me, I’d take that money and invest it into living a life more worthwhile. It’s not even about how much you spend. It’s how you spend your life. It’s a nice situation to be in but I don’t you could honestly say you feel good about how you earn your money and spend your life. In my mind, you want to live a life of dignity and not a life of profiteering, and not even the cool profiteering like raiding ships.

>>22030243
And my words I send with love through the electronic space, undying, soulless, such is the product of a living being craving for immortality, yet only his words are left echoing through time while his body gone and soul, location: unknown.

>>22029743
It’s definitely a leap to say they were distrustful because they didn’t understand it. Maybe they were distrustful because they rightly understood that it was undignified and immoral. Profit by speculation is only a step away by usury.

Anyway, why should he not use his money to do something better. This is a literature board. He could probably afford to spend five years doing nothing but writing, or starting a publisher, or just buying a house and living any sort of honest living? There may be no normal job, but he might not even need a proper job.

>>22030279
Community life is dead in the west now. It’s not always been like this, but it is like this now.

>>22029657
No. I think we’re depressed because life is genuinely meaningless and boring. Sure, wars can be rough, but a life where nothing ever happens is rougher.

>>22030366
>life where nothing ever happens is rougher.
I can't dispute you.
As someone living in a vicinity where nothing ever happens, I used to be suicidal.
However, along the way I learn to get out of it, I should explore the world, as little as it is.

>>22030394
How did you manage to get out of it? I just had an age milestone and it’s turned out to be a bit of a crisis for me although I think I have it worse than others because of certain education and career choices.

I'm 22 now.
I have significantly improved my life in the past 2 years. I've gotten healthier, and I even chose to pursue my lifelong dream which rescued me from the excruciating pit of depression I succumbed to at the time. I have income now, too. Crazy shit, I know. Also, I will move out soon and live alone for the first time; growin' up and stuff, I guess...
Still, I have yet to stop being a neet. In my free time I still only sit in my room for hours. Alone. Vegetating away in an isolated state. Browsing away and numbing my mind with even more empty entertainment. I don't really feel lonely at all, though; I have willingly put myself in this situation. Friends are merely more responsibilities, more opportunities to waste time online, so I just naturally tend to withdraw from my circles. I can't tell you how many friend group cycles I've been through in the past few years alone... It's always the same outcome--and I like it that way. I'm more focused that way. It's my conscious choice to be alone, after all.
Yet, I yearn for love and romance. For adventures and experiences I've missed out on. I tend to romanticize a lot of stuff I see online, especially when seeing photographs of couples or beautiful sceneries. I fantasize about leading a more active life; a painfully normal one, brimming with things to remember. Ordinary memories, yet real. A real fucking life.
Not being sheltered and stuck to my room would be a wish of mine. Physically I am more outside of my house than I'm inside it, yet my heart is still locked up in that neet fortress of mine. Probably forever at this rate. I really, really only want to live, but I truly think it may just be too late for that.

>>22030402
>How did you manage to get out of it?

This have several layers. My journey could be unique to just me. So.

I study science. I am technically, a scientist by profession. Thus, I have interests in how things works.

I grew up in a community where "sharing is caring" is valued. So, I grew up learning how helping others is a noble thing.

However, it is not enough for me to reason why should I care about anything at all.

Here me this, along the way of my suicidal journey, I found a religion. The first question I always ask about living, is what will happen when we die? Ironic, because death is the end of life. However it matters to me because it's a mystery. It's where it all seem to end.

This question haunts me many times throughout my life, made me suicidal and I find closure in a religion called Islam. I'm not the best person who can explain how this works but, that's from me.

My journey from being suicidal to curious about life have many ups and downs and obstacles and of course, ease. It's a journey that could be unique for me but maybe it aren't? I don't know.

Nevertheless, the important lesson that I think anyone can take is to be open-minded, listen carefully, read carefully and not to overreact, in my case, in anger.

> I have it worse than others because of certain education and career choices.
Yeah. I have this problem too. It took perseverence.

>>22030411
You’re 22 pursuing a dream, dude. Do you have any idea how lucky you are? I didn’t have anything resembling a dream until I was nearly 30.

>>22030480
Perseverance how? For me, a big issue is feeling like I’ve found something to live for, but I’ve to this point lived in a way that undermines it. You know. The wrong major, wrong career, not doing certain things, etc. How exactly does perseverance come into play when you’re on the wrong path? I don’t think you should persevere on a wrong path.

H.O.L.Y fuck! living in the real world is so fake...my god. how can they lack self awareness. how are blinded to the reality of this world?

Why does life have to be so boring? Why has there never been anything to do for my whole life?

>>22030497
>The wrong major, wrong career, not doing certain things, etc
Yea this happens. For me, I try not to put so much regret on it. How?

I just pick up what I learned from these wrong major, wrong career, not doing that and this etc and apply it to my new career pathway as much as I can.

I ask question,
>what's the best thing I learn from my wrong career choice?
I used to study psychology to the core but it gets nowhere for me so I switch to a more scientific career. I don't regret studying psychology, I would regret it more if I don't even if it's obvious that it's a wrong choice.

>What's the similarities and what can I apply to my new career pathway?
The thing is as meme a major is, there's still something we gain from it.

Also, getting a job is an underrated blessing. But that's my take. Because, you get money, and it looks like you're trying, so people respect you for that. That's enough to give my heart some peace.

Of course, practice self-care.

I get depressed when I read the biographies of my favorite writers. They were so interesting and mobile and did so many things with their young lives, and very often had some success while they were young. I didn’t even start writing until I was fairly old. This shit feels hopeless.

>>22030541
I don’t really feel like I gained what actually matters though. Not everything to be gained seems to me to be enough.

>>22030486
I only recently rekindled that dream after finding out there's an opportunity for even losers like me out there; someone who flunked out of college twice and is a diagnosed mental case. A dream I had when I was a child, something that was so dear to me that when I found out it's an impossibility, I completely gave up on it as a hobby. Now I'm gonna try betting my whole life on that dream, as I have nothing to lose, anyway. A failed product like me is the perfect specimen for an all-or-nothing like that. Pursuing that dream is more of a noble rite or an ideal I am trying to attain to make up for being a failure. So, whilst appearing like I am striving for purpose, it's not quite like that. It is like that, but not really. It's more so like I've already given up on life, I fear, so I'll stake everything on that dream instead.
Writing all of this out makes me realize that I may have only advanced to a higher stage of escapism, but there's nothing left for me anymore than to chase it regardless. A true artist's journey, I guess. If I won't be able to create art, I will die then and there. Maybe that's what all the greats felt like as well at one point in their lives, who knows... Though I'm probably just arrogant.

>>22030550
>I don’t really feel like I gained what actually matters though.
You crave stability. Me too.

true knowledge of the world either lead you to a life of more eternal consciousness or eternal depression

>>22030558
very.....Fernando pessoa like. I like it

>>22030578
I don't know who that is, but I'm me.

>>22030586
faggot

>>22030586
>I'm me
NICE.

>>22030586
No I'M ME

>>22030565
No. I think have stability. It’s just not the right kind of stability.

>>22030558
You’re indulging too much in insecurities. Life is basically about how we decide to spend our time. You may not have accomplished much or even done it but you have some sense of how you want to spend your time, and at just 22 years old! You are so far ahead you have no idea.

>>22030636
>It’s just not the right kind of stability.
Hmm. An oxymoronic sentence.

i have SLIGHT SLIGHT delusions, including about god, the end of the world, james ferraro as a holy messenger, a monk i met on the street. my mental health is all over the place, but i feel i have a grasp on it. most of my favourite artists are/were mentally ill in some way. most people these days are mentally ill in some way. i can't come to terms with synchronicity, although as i write it out i believe i do. everything can be looked at from more than 1 side, thankfully. life is mesmerising, even if i end up becoming homeless atleast i'll have experienced a lot of things, experienced them fully and in color. i'm overly sensitive and i sometimes have delusions about the end of the world. all the lights shutting off. society collapsing. i don't know if i've read too much ted kascyznsky/fukuyama or consumed too much nihilistic apocalyptic art (james ferraro etc), but i seriously have doomsday scenarios playing in my head, and then i always reassure my self "i still have some time". my delusions about the end of the world have many real world synchronistic events associated with them aswell, black woman, aged 35, black lipstick, preaching the word of god on busy shopping street, me stopping her and asking for card shes handing out, card falling out of my pocket & stranger telling me i dropped it. it feels like god talking to me. full on divin synchronicity. but i might be wrong, thankfully you can look at everything from more than 1 side. most people are mentally unwell in some way, shape or form these days. live in purpose of god? live to give? give to people? get a career, financial stability? as i was walking in my capital today i questioned what the end purpose of all of humanity even is. i'm okay with dying, am i okay with all of humanity dying? what does that even mean? what's the logical conclusion of an intelligent species like humans? where does it go? is spirituality the answer? or is spirituality & god & the middle aged black woman just loose strings ricocheting across my delusional mind? i used to believe the only truth lay internal, maybe truth lies external. i have proven to myself that i can be mentally sound for prolonged periods of time. i may be hypersensitive, but i can adapt and not have my internal crazy ruminations get the best of me. i've lived in relative peace for decent periods of my life. most of my favourite artists are mentally ill however. i might want to pursue art. will i try to delve into the insanity and become my fullest? that path is fraught with danger. all these words and experiences are also tinged with a slight hue of strange apprehension as i no longer believe in free will, all these words were bound to happen, all these experiences were bound to happen. but maybe not, and maybe me meeting the black woman preaching about jesus on the bustling street really was just a wacky coincedence. we will never know. thankfully you can look at everything from more than 1 side. needlelike is the line between mind & reality

>>22030652
How do you figure? You can be stable doing something you don’t want to be doing. I don’t even want stability really. Stability is boring. I want success.

>>22030725
A flatline on an ECG is extremely stable.

>>22030734
Exactly.

I could shoot myself for wasting my remote working time these last few years. I should have written a lot more or at least gotten a second job. The truth is that I didn’t want to work that hard in either case. It’s hard to find the motivation to do much for a while now. It sort of feels like everything is a lost cause.

>>22028193
MOVE. Seriously. Get moving on something, anything. A vehicle in motion can change directions but if it's parked in the weeds, rusting over, and missing a tire, then it's never going any where. Just start moving forward on anything.

>>22030182

>tfw if right, being a weeb might have saved my life
it's not like I'll stop getting food off qt Japanese ladies if I'm wrong, but I might have to buy a dakimakura to contribute to their economy if I am right

>>22030824
>tfw if right, being a weeb might have saved my life
how exactly?

>>22030834
Vitamin profile of common foods. Idk if I'm right yet but I'll keep you updated on the bodypillow.

>>22030344
>He could probably afford to spend five years doing nothing but writing
This has actually been one of the things I'm spending my time on, writing short stories in my mother language, as well as trying to write a novel. You also mentioned a house, which is in my medium term plans, building my own to be exact.

My problem isn't that I feel bored and can't find ways to occupy myself in a fulfilling way, but that I feel bad on some level about all this. The way I make my money is perfectly legal and "honest" in the sense that I don't screw over anyone or cause any harm (technically someone loses on my winning trades, but they know what they are doing when they engage with the market, just as I do when I do lose, in my mind, it's fair game for everyone), but it still feels a little dishonest.
Maybe I'll do what this guy >>22030310 says and start a business of some kind later down the line, once the house is done. I have thought about that, but I have no idea what or where to even begin. I already have partial ownership in a few local business, but I don't really "work" on them, just attend the occasional meeting and get dividend payments.

>>22029519
>me
>having sex with a woman
Please, I'm a winner and winners never lose, not even their virginity. Also sexbots won't be the only AI floating around, I might not be able to get a sex model but maybe I can get a non-sex models that can do my chores and talk to me. If I can't get a physical model at all, I'm okay with a Star Trek-like voice floating through my house or on my computer to talk to.

>>22030874
Dude lol
>rich enough to build his own house
>on 4channel
Please kill yourself ASAP

>>22030904
I don't get it. I'm sure there are others with medium amounts of wealth who post here.

>>22028654
Nightmares, everyday I wake up from nightmares.

Few days ago I saw in mirror that underneath my hairs there was a hole in my skull and something bloody thing was standing out in the middle darkness but when I tried to touch it some yellow greasy soap type material was covering it.

>>22030917
Bruh
Lmao

>>22030932
Nta anon but spend st least 6 years on 4chan before making such claims, newfag.

Got Covid.
Feeling kind of shit, but also kind of not
Head feels clear, no fatigue, or foggy consciousness
Breathing is fine too, slight sore throat, kind of feels dry all the time
Just a slight sensitive skin and light joint aches

Tried to sleep, but the sensitivity of my skin kept me awake, piss feels body temp so I assume I'm not having a fever, also kept dreaming as if I was a scientists, quarantining myself, doing some testing with different exposed body parts or something

I look like this. Books recc?

>>22030964
Marcus Aurelius

>>22028234
Exactly what's different about it besides being easier to play in?

i find myself extraordinarily attractive. i wonder if this is narcissism or if i actually am this good looking. i mean like movie star attractive. like yound leo, brad pitt, kurt cobain.
i can't tell anymore. i look in the mirror and see something i don't identify with. but damn that fleshy object looks good.
does anyone else feel this way? is it familiarity distorting my self-image? am i retarded?

>>22029743
>Get as rich as you possibly can but aim it all at breaking the system so that this is never possible again.
The Boomer mentality.

>>22031039
take a video of yourself from different angles, move around and stuff, see if you still look that good

>>22029665
I love that cat like you wouldnt believe

I cant bear the thought of people coming to my home. It's not that i'm poor or my home is tiny---in fact exactly the opposite. I'm so rich that it becomes a huge deal and people start acting strangely. The house is unreasonably big, it's impractical and burdensome. This kind of excess is gross to me, i would not choose it if given the option. Not the money, but the embarrassing flaunting. I don't like living behind a gate away from other humans. I hate that children can't come to our house to trick or treat. This is a very unsympathetic problem but it's lead to many feelings of alienation. I miss living regularly

Brooding. My childhood sucked, my adolescence was shit, and so far my young adulthood has sucked. I'm 24, inb4 thats so young. I know it's young, but my problem is that my life is a 1/3rd over and has all around been shit, whereas most people's youth up until 25 is non stop playtime.

>>22031160
You could get a flat, you know

>>22029704
Do something interesting with your money. Start a foundation or charity or some group. Fund starving artists. Help troubled youth. Or fuck just go buckwild and take a lavish adventure.

>>22030182
I used to check every box on that bingo but I've been putting in a lot of effort, so now i only check half the boxes.

Why are chuddish writers so much more diverse in terms of what they believe in and why than non-chuds? You have everything between ultra-pragmatic realpolitik and esoteric wizardry, from aristocratic attitudes to populist ones, from traditionalist catholics and atheists to neopagans among chuds, while non-chuds almost all subscribe to the same enlightenment views and values, at most differing about how fast they want to realize the enlightenment project. Almost no two chuds are exactly alike while the same can't be said about most libs.

I had a dream that I was showering naked with a girl and she thought it was funny that I shampoo my pubes.

>>22031163
Life sucks, get over it. It won't get better. Time to accept and die slowly. At least you're not

>>22031210
soul vs npc. the latter run the same software

>>22031210
>they want to realize the enlightenment project
They do? Which is what exactly?

>>22031398
becoming trans

I hate my mom therefore i hate all women

Father just told me to stop rotting my brain with political theory and continental philosophy. Said I’d learn more reading people like Milton or Donne. Is he right?

>>22031453
You both need to read less and have sex more

>>22031453
>political theory and continental philosophy.
Woman mind. Read metaphsics and theology if you're a man or stop altogether.

>>22031415
It's more like becoming totally attenuated to the divine feminine and masculine energies.
Trannies are what happens when one finds too great an imbalance.

>>22031453
He's right about Donne. >>22031476 is also correct but Donne does it better.

I ruined mother's day because my mom smacked her dog in the face for chewing up her $40 earrings from Talbots. I love her, but sometimes she is a shameful disgrace without a conscience. I won't have that shit in my house.

>>22031666
LORD of Life and Joy, that art the might of man, that art the essence of every true god that is upon the surface of the Earth, continuing knowledge from generation unto generation, thou adored of us upon heaths and in woods, on mountains and in caves, openly in the marketplaces and secretly in the chambers of our houses, in temples of gold and ivory and marble as in these other temples of our bodies, we worthily commemorate them worthy that did of old adore thee and manifest thy glory unto men,

Lao-tzu, Siddhartha, Krishna, Tahuti, Mosheh, Dionysus, Mohammed, To Mega Therion, Hermes, Pan, Priapus, Osiris, Melchizedek, Khem, Amoun, Mentu, Heracles, Orpheus, Odysseus, Vergilius, Catullus, Martialis, Rabelais, Swinburne, Apollonius Tyanæus, Simon Magus, Manes, Pythagoras, Basilides, Valentinus, Bardesanes, Hippolytus, Merlin, Arthur, Kamuret, Parzival, Carolus Magnus, William of Schyren, Frederick of Hohenstaufen, Roger Bacon, Jacobus Burgundus Molensis the Martyr, Christian Rosencreutz, Ulrich von Hutten, Paracelsus, Michael Maier, Roderic Borgia Pope Alexander the Sixth, Jacob Boehme, Francis Bacon Lord Verulam, Andrea, Robertus de Fluctibus, Johannes Dee, Sir Edward Kelly, Thomas Vaughan, Elias Ashmole, Molinos, Adam Weishaupt, Wolfgang von Goethe, William Blake, Ludovicus Rex Bavariae, Richard Wagner, Alphonse Louis Constant, Friedrich Nietzsche, Hargrave Jennings, Carl Kellner, Forlong dux, Sir Richard Payne Knight, Paul Gaugin, Sir Richard Francis Burton, Doctor Gerard Encausse, Doctor Theodor Reuss, Sir Aleister Crowley

—Oh Sons of the Lion and the Snake! With all thy saints we worthily commemorate them worthy that were and are and are to come.

May their essence be here present, potent, puissant and paternal to perfect this feast!"

>>22031825
>Everything changes
>*Takes selfie*
based zoomer girl

Bros, I just got a fuck load of notebooks and want to practice writing again. I fried my brain on phoneposting for years and soon I'm going back to university after a 4 year hiatus. I want to prep myself to write big essays again. Any advice?

Was just thinking about how I'm tired and would like to nap but then I realized I woke up at 1pm and it's only just barely 4 now. I might just be the laziest sack of shit there is.

>>22031836

What's soup brother in pen, this is my advice, from somebody whose first name is one of the Evangelist:

1. Treat yourself to a fountain pen
2. Build a standing desk
3. Write while standing up because you are a proud homo sapiens who is also an erectus
4. See the change in what you write
5. Don't think about what you're writing, at least you're writing and away from the comp00ter
6. Give your writings to somebody to read or place them on your bookshelf
7. Laugh at yourself for making the jokes you made while writing this way
9. Keep reading paper books
10. Enjoy

I wanna get strap on fucked just once in my life.

>>22031836
Also, read paper books while standing up
Feel it

>>22028154
Another day. Still haven’t found anything I like. What’s wrong with me? Am I even human?

Les Dames du Gâteau

Elles marchent avec grâce et dignité
Elles portent des corsets et des chapeaux
Elles sourient et saluent poliment
Les messieurs et les chats

Mais sous leur façade sage
Elles cachent un vice secret
Elles adorent acheter des gâteaux délicieux
Et payer un prix élevé

Elles les emportent chez elles et ferment la porte
Et soulèvent leurs longues robes
Elles s'assoient sur les friandises crémeuses
Et les sentent faire un désordre

Elles soupirent et gémissent d'extase
Quand elles écrasent les gâteaux avec joie
Elles font semblant d'être des dames fines
Mais elles sont coquines à souhait

Elles font cela tous les après-midi
Quand personne ne peut les voir
Elles se nettoient et font comme si
Rien ne s'était passé

Mais parfois elles sont imprudentes
Et laissent derrière elles une trace
Une miette, une tache, une trace de glaçage
Sur leur soie et leur dentelle

Et alors elles font face au scandale
De leur secret révélé
Elles perdent leur réputation et leurs amis
La société les renie

Mais elles se moquent de la société
Et de ses règles et normes
Elles ne se soucient que des gâteaux et de la sensation
Qu'ils leur procurent de la chaleur

Ce sont les dames du gâteau
Et elles vivent pour leur plaisir
Elles s'assoient sur leurs pâtisseries
Tous les jours et toutes les nuits.

>>22030874
It sounds like you’ll have to do some soul-searching.

>>22031884
Why do you question your humanity?

When I have diarrhea it's like heaven.

>>22031884
You like literature.

I just sort of regret how my young adult life went. On one hand, it’s my fault because I should’ve just been more radical and adventurous. But in the other hand, I feel like there was basically nothing to do anyway. For my whole life, I feel like nothing ever really happened. It was just sort of autopilot.

My friends and acquaintances prefer rougher, simpler types of men. Ones that can recall vulgar nursery rhymes at the drop of a hat. I have one such friend like that. He's the soul, heart and body of the party at every gathering. Everybody loves him, me included, and I wouldn't bother hanging out with our other friends if he wasn't involved. But it wasn't always laughs and smiles with him: his mother beat him senseless, his father abandoned him, he got groomed into abusing harmful substances and he had to work from a very early age to support his two younger siblings. He even told me once that he lobbed himself towards an oncoming car (had I been the one driving it I wouldn't have missed, I have told him that many times) to try and end his suffering. But everybody loves him all the more for it, me included.

I recently got my mom a cake for mother's day. She caressed me like any mother would their grateful son but I can't help but think: Would she have liked it more if the gift she got came from a son that had fallen from grace and come back, instead of her normal and average goody-two-shoes son? I think that, everybody would prefer the story of a hero that returns roughed up from war to give their mother a simple, humble but lovingly-made cake instead of the story of a rich kid that walked to the store and got her mom some pastries. I wish I didn't have have these complex feelings and thoughts; I wish I was a rougher, simpler type of man.

My friend didn't get his mom anything for mother's day because he doesn't know where she is.

How have your dreams been?

>>22032032
I don’t like anything. Humans should enjoy things.
>>22032059
I haven’t for over 10 years now.

>>22032204
I rarely dream
Honestly, I don't remember the last time I even had one

>>22032204
Wild. Its been either violent dreams or sex dreams(which is concerning since i nut in my gf daily). My last dream wqs so vivid and realistic that i almost punched the shit out of my mistress.

Can chronic and heavy THC intake really "fry your brain"? Haven't any in my system for 4 months but I don't feel completely there.

>>22032252
smoking tons of weed is stupid. at least lsd has potential.

>>22032252
How much were you smoking and for how long?

The Cake Walk

It was the final round of the Miss Sweetness beauty pageant, and the contestants were nervous. They had to face one last challenge: hiding a cake under their dress and walking across the stage without anyone noticing.

The cakes were different sizes and shapes, and some were heavier than others. The contestants had to choose one at random and quickly conceal it under their gown. They also had to smile, pose, and answer questions from the judges.

The first contestant was Miss Strawberry. She picked a small round cake with pink frosting and sprinkles. She tucked it under her dress and walked confidently to the stage. She smiled and waved at the audience, then stopped in front of the judges.

“Miss Strawberry, what is your favorite dessert?” asked one of the judges.

“Strawberry shortcake, of course!” she answered cheerfully.

She spun around and showed off her dress, which had a slight bulge at the waist. She hoped no one would notice.

The second contestant was Miss Chocolate. She picked a large square cake with brown frosting and nuts. She struggled to fit it under her dress and had to hold it with one hand. She walked clumsily to the stage, trying not to drop the cake. She grimaced and nodded at the audience, then stopped in front of the judges.

“Miss Chocolate, what is your favorite hobby?” asked another judge.

“Baking chocolate cakes, of course!” she answered nervously.

She turned around and showed off her dress, which had a huge lump at the back. She knew everyone could see it.

The third contestant was Miss Vanilla. She picked a medium oval cake with white frosting and flowers. She slid it under her dress and walked gracefully to the stage. She smiled and winked at the audience, then stopped in front of the judges.

“Miss Vanilla, what is your favorite quality in a person?” asked the third judge.

“Sweetness, of course!” she answered charmingly.

She twirled around and showed off her dress, which had no sign of a cake at all. She had hidden it perfectly.

The judges were impressed by Miss Vanilla’s performance and declared her the winner of the Miss Sweetness beauty pageant. She received a crown, a sash, and a bouquet of roses. She also got to keep the cake she had hidden under her dress.

She thanked the judges, the audience, and the other contestants. Then she took a bite of her cake and said:

“This is the sweetest victory ever!”

>>22032252
Not trying to hate on you but if you were already a brainlet smoking tons of weed will turn you into a braindead nigger.

>>22032293
yeah, it's like if you grew up in a college town we all knew that professor's kid who was a mega stoner and still got into princeton or whatever, but all the other kids that smoked weed are still sitting on their parents couches to this day. sort of like that cope were people who didn't go to college are like "ya, but one time i met a plumber who was rich so nya nya" and it's like well ok, but you're not a plumber and you're dumb.

>>22032182
I can sympathize with those feelings. I do think it’s true that people like the story of the ne’er do well turned good better than the always good. They find the always good in reality always boring. Now that I’m older I think about this a lot. I tend to regret a lot. It reminds me of how Cellini has one of the most remarkable and prized autobiographies in history and is a valued artist, despite having been a murderer and philanderer. That’s not to say I regret not having murdered, but rather than I regret not being a bit wilder and more exciting. I sort of feel like I wasted my life on the straight narrow, which I largely failed at but never strayed from. It was Fs in school, poor performance at work, but always school and always work. Nothing radical.

I’ll never get my life back. No matter what I do, I’ll never have been that person I wish I was.

>>22032308
I dont like to see my /lit/bros in despair but if you are crying over a bitch kys yourself my man.

>>22032308
Hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been.

I'm truly lost

>>22032437
Oh, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!

>>22032437
This is me too. I’m also such a mess because of it. People catch me babbling incoherently to myself all the time. I can barely sustain myself.

I have a nigger hole in my backyard. I find niggers and put them in my nigger hole. I have a dozen niggers in my nigger hole.

>>22032470
How many niggers do you need?

>>22029872
>Are you influenced by /lit/?
no not really, i just want to study and read. also hoping it gives me a bit of purpose, i'm just existing right now really

Don’t feel I have a moral duty to procreate when God can create souls.

There are no goodbyes with Jesus Christ.

>>22032590
STEALING FROM YORU GOD,
YOU CLULESS FOOLS!
I AM YOU GOD AND MAKER!
I WILL SHOW YOU THEFT,
YOUR WORLD WILL FALL!
AND CRUMBLE BEFORE MY MIGHT!

>>22032634
Consuming these memes are bad for you

>>22032182
Who you are is good enough, and your existence isn't meant for others' entertainment. That being said, let loose once in awhile. There's nothing wrong with making dick jokes or vulgar humor. Maybe that's more of your shadow so to speak

>>22032638
Historical memes are bad for you? What?

>>22032654
Are you perhaps a woman? I ask this because the "you are right just the way you are" is a platitude women like to repeat ad nauseam
Who I am is never enough and that's why humanity keeps moving forward

ChatGPT is outta control:

The four friends had a passion for science and a curiosity for the world. They loved to conduct experiments and test their hypotheses, even if they were sometimes silly or unconventional. One day, they decided to investigate the effect of spicy food on their body temperature and gas production. They cooked a pot of chili soup with extra hot peppers and ate it for lunch, ignoring the burning sensation in their mouths and stomachs. They waited for an hour, then took turns farting into a plastic bag that was connected to a heat sensor. They recorded the temperature of each fart and compared it to their normal body temperature. They also noted the smell, sound and duration of each fart.

They repeated the experiment the next day, but this time they ate a bland soup with no spices. They expected to see a difference in the results, but they were surprised by how much. The chili farts were much hotter, louder and smellier than the normal farts. The heat sensor showed that the chili farts were about 10 degrees Celsius warmer than the normal farts, and also lasted longer. The girls concluded that spicy food increased their metabolism and gas production, and also made their farts more potent.

They decided to take their experiment one step further and see if the chili farts affected their underwear as well. They removed their pants and panties and passed them by the heat sensor, comparing them to a pair of clean ones. They found that the chili panties were slightly warmer and more moist than the clean ones, indicating that the chili farts had transferred some heat and moisture to the fabric. They also sniffed the panties and confirmed that they smelled like chili.

The girls were fascinated by their findings and wrote a report on their experiment. They called it "The Effect of Spicy Food on Fart Temperature, Moisture and Odor". They submitted it to their science teacher, hoping to get a good grade and maybe even enter a science fair. They were proud of their work and thought it was both fun and educational.

Reported for off-topic

>>22032737
Chatgpt outright lies. I asked it to write songs in the style of certain authors which it did decently. So I was wondering which of their songs it has access to. It said it doesnt have access to any songs or databases of songs. So I asked it to give merhe lyrics of a few songs by those artists which it reproduced faithfully. So full of shit

>>22032252
No shit, retard. Flooding your brain with mind altering substances will have an impact.

>>22032766
chatgpt doesn't lie or say truths, it just strings words into common sentences. You see it lose track as it goes. It doesn't know what it's doing, it doesn't think.

>>22032775
Let me rephrase that then. It is programmed to misrepresent itself and other things.

>>22032781
It's not.
The data they fed to it had a tendency to be contrarian in response to certain interactions so it denies a declaration. It doesn't know what you asked, it doesn't know what it answered. It just replicates tendencies.

I can't get my ego in check lately and I don't know what to do

Anyone around Pasadena wanna hang out

>>22028654
much less cuz of the abuse of weed, fuck! I'm addicted, but I got nothing else to sooth my soul

>>22032874
Not a pasadena local but the bookstore there is the best in the county. If youre down to chill and talk literature travel and the schizo randomness of los angeles im down to meet up.

>>22029192
thanks for the chuckles

>>22032886
I'm interested, tho desu I'm a total midwit. I like Philip K Dick and Kurt Vonnegut, and I mostly avoid classics. Which bookstore did you have in mind?

>>22032913
Im talking about book alley bro. You should check it out they have all sorts of shit there its wild. Prices could be a little lower but hey they have to pay that colorado blvd rent.

The sickness is winning...

>>22032931
I know that one. Ive been there a bunch of times. Lot of really interesting books. I hung out there a few times last year trying to bump into art hoes but nothing ever happened. Thinking tomorrow I'll check it out and then head over to Zankou. I'll try to drag my friend along but I doubt he'll go.

>>22032949
Lil bro youre doing it all wrong. If meeting art hoes is your goal then you either audit some easy liberal arts course at pcc to score brown art hoes or you go across town and hang out at art center college of design to get those spoiled rich art hoes.

>>22032965
>art center college of design
Oh shoot thats a good idea. Ive never been to that one. I'll go in pretending to look at whatever art gallery they have open. Thanks for the advice bro.

I hate my apartment so much. Its such a dump, makes me feel like I'm living in a silent hill video game. But instead of everything being spooky and rusty its all just crappy and broken instead. And my landlord doesn't fix anything.

>>22032766
Its hard coded to avoid certain behaviors, like the one you tried to get it to do. I think impersonation was one of its 'strong' rules to follow. They found a list of the rules by 'prompt' hacking or whatever they call it. Like breaking the 'fourth wall' or whatever you call that kind of thing.

>>22032976
Good luck bro. Just remember to treat them like garbage and youll be drowning in basic bitches.

>>22032995
Dumb ass nigger. You can fix all the shit wrong with your apartment by yourself, reminder your landlord will hire barely literate hispanics for slave wages, and then bill him for parts and white man wages off your rent you lazy cunt.

>>22028154
women are gay

Sunday was my first Mother's Day without a mom.

>>22033043
RIP to your mom anon.

>>22033022
The stone cold truth

>>22033052
Thanks, sorry everybody.

>>22033043
Oh oops i forgot to call my mom today

A warning by ChatGPT for Fair Damsel's Everywhere

Cunigonde Muff was a lovely young damsel who lived in a small village near the forest. She loved to wear her cherry print britches that her grandmother had made for her. They were so pretty and comfortable that she wore them just about every day.

One day, she decided to go for a walk in the forest to pick some flowers. She had on her cherry print britches and a white blouse and headed out with a basket. She did not notice the big bad wolf that was lurking behind a tree, watching her with hungry eyes.

The wolf followed her as she walked deeper into the forest, looking for the most beautiful flowers. He waited for the right moment to pounce on her and make her his lunch. He saw a large oak tree with a sturdy branch that extended over the path. He climbed up the tree and waited for Cunigonde to pass by.

Cunigonde was humming a tune as she walked along the path, admiring the birds and butterflies. She did not see the wolf on the branch above her. She was about to pass under the tree when the wolf jumped down from the branch and landed on top of her.

Cunigonde screamed as she felt the weight of the wolf on her back. She tried to push him off, but he was too strong and heavy. He opened his mouth and bit into her neck, tearing her flesh and blood. Cunigonde felt a sharp pain and then everything went black.

The wolf devoured Cunigonde in a few minutes, leaving nothing but a little smattering of blood. He licked his lips and paws, satisfied with his meal. He noticed something red and white among the remains. It was Cunigonde’s cherry print britches. They had somehow escaped his terrible teeth and claws.

The wolf picked up the britches with his mouth and spat them out. He did not like the taste of that particular fabric. He decided to use them instead to clean his snout, which was stained with blood. He rubbed his nose with the britches, wiping off the traces of his crime.

He threw away the britches and ran away into the forest, looking for his next delectable victim.

My mom told me I should start trying to date. I don't want to date, I want to be alone.

>>22033127
Anon, females are soft and smell nice and will gladly suck your peepee and eat your seed. Why would you deprive yourself of a god given gift?

>>22033141
>smell nice
False.

>>22033147
This, and sometimes when they piss it sounds like someone fired a malfunctioning supersoaker into a bowl of water.

>>22033141
Not that anon but they're scary and very judgemental.

>>22033159
My guy do you realize most women are terrified of being around men. These bitches think we are on rape mode 24/7. Why should you be scared of them!?

>>22033176
>we are on rape mode 24/7
Sometimes we think about other stuff too, but yeah that's more or less accurate.

>>22033176
Most men don't wipe and clean their asses properly and have shit caked in their asscrack all the time. There's reason to be afraid of them.

>>22033183
I feel a severe derailment coming on.

It's all just waves and radiation.

>>22033183
Dumb f*id. Most men will shave their asses just to avoid dingleberries but you cunts regularly die of toxic shock syndrome because you cant be bothered to change your tampons.

>>22033189
I agree, we should talk about my problem.

>>22033213
Homosexual panic? What's there to say that hasn't already been said?

>>22033221
Even if I was, I wouldn't want a boyfriend either.

Why the fuck does my uncle want to talk to me? We don't talk regularly. I am just a lonely loser living my life. He probably wants to ask me why I am such a loser. I am not looking for advice or sympathy, especially from someone who is essentially a stranger. There is nothing going on in my life. I started my career last year and have been settling in for the long monotonous stretch until death. It would be easier to bullshit with family if I had a wife and kids to talk about. Well, I am not obligated to be anything besides cordial with him. I'll just be curt and aloof and hope he doesn't ask me about my life too much beyond the weather and my job.

>>22033342
Don't be so negative, just talk to him like a human being and try to relate to him. You only get so much family. You might be like him some day, old and lonely and trying to connect with someone

>>22033397
Yeah, whatever.

>This book is really good Anon
>It's super fucking boring
>Randall goes out to the tree to pick apples
>It's a metaphor for youth and we're all getting older
Everytime

>>22032710
No, just a man who went through a lot similar to your friend. And yes, you really are alright "the way you are", you lack confidence

>>22029704
What are you doing? Flipping stuff online or what?

not my problem

>>22031999
Yeah, seems so. This is the first time I have to decide what to do with myself that isn't related to education or trying to make a living. Anxiety over the practical aspects of life has dominated my thinking for a long time. Ever since I was a child and my family ran into serious money problems for the first time, I've been constantly afraid of ending up destitute and worried about not having a safety net of any kind. Now that I'm free of this fear, life feels a bit directionless. I have hobbies, I help my family, I have a social life, I enjoy life, but it feels strange not to have this urgent goal ahead of me and I'm starting to feel guilty about it for some reason, as if I achieved this in some shifty way.
>>22033492
Trading index futures.

>>22033620
Thought it was hobby related.
But looking at charts as a hobby is quite based.
I might look into it, I felt what you did the one year I spent daytrading crypto(and making somebody's monthly wage in an afternoon), not long after I went full NEET so perhaps there is an underlying cause for your search of meaning. It could be an inherent thing but I'm unsure myself under what conditions do people feel the need to look for meaning. Is it a byproduct of too much comfort(as it seems at first glance), or is it perhaps something like lack of actual substance in our lives?
Though those lacking comfort quickly find meaning in obtaining it - do they actually have higher needs covered, or does hardship force them to fulfill them more readily?

>>22033630
It did start as a hobby. Just something I did in college, trying to predict what various markets would do in different timeframes. It was interesting because of the complexity of the system and the difficulty of the task.
>Though those lacking comfort quickly find meaning in obtaining it
Pretty much this is what happened to me. I was poor for most of my life, never too far from complete destitution, even as a child, so I found meaning in conquering an incredibly complex system and obtaining the wealth and through that, the safety and comfort I always lacked. I made it, so now there's a hole in my psyche where this struggle was.

And I think another aspect of it is related to how I grew up and how I was raised. The constant message I got was that you must work hard and the way to make a living is through doing something useful. I did work extremely hard to get here, but now it's incredibly easy and not in any way useful, so it feels like I'm making money in the "wrong" way. Call it working class guilt.

>>22033650
What if the person is a mathematical incompetent, do they have any chance in this sort of activity?

I’m worried that it’s too late to recover.

>>22033650
Be honest with me
When you look down from a standing position can you see your penis?

>>22033620
I went through something sort of similar. Soul searching did help me but it took far too long and I made too many mistakes along the way.

>>22033657
Depends on your approach, but yes. I myself am not great with numbers and don't really do any math on a daily basis anymore. I did use math while I was learning, but only for fairly basic statistics. You need to be smart in other ways however and very disciplined emotionally.
>>22033661
These days yes. I did get fat for a while because I lived a very sedentary life, but I started lifting two years ago, so now I can indeed see the old boy.

>>22033670
You are such a douchebag haha
Oh man
Nice larp

>>22033650
I don't think it's working class guilt, but I risk putting words in your mouth.
To me it seems way more as if you were raised in a way that your worth directly correlates with effort you put in(with what you achieve/bring home/etc).
To be honest I didn't even think
>>Though those lacking comfort quickly find meaning in obtaining it
but it's a common viewpoint and I did use to think like that. I just wanted to see if that viewpoint resonated with you. I did have a similar background(I'm from a shithole tier country) and I believe you need to build your own sense of worth, you were taught you're only worth something if you DO something - which is an outdated but used to be a valid worldview, when survival wasn't as easily achievable as it is now.
Even if you were to turn into an actual parasite, a disabled person or whatever, YOU'd still have value beyond what you provide. But these things are pretty hard to internalise, for me at least.
>>22033662
I believe the only way to learn is through one's own mistakes. If you did everything "right" till this point, you desperately need to do things you "want", not "should".

>>22033688
I didn’t. I did everything wrong, and kept doing everything wrong. But the second set of things that were wrong I didn’t realize until they had been done over and over. Things never quite worked out for the best.

Thinking about spending all of my savings to do nothing but travel and write for a year.

>>22033700
Don't forget to embrace every opportunity along the way to truly experience the story you wish to write.

>>22033688
That's a good point, thank you.

>>22033695
The "everything right" was partly for the other anon I responded to, as he said something along those lines in more than one of his posts.
It is not my place to count your sins, and ruined lives are difficult to accept. This might be a huge cope on my part, but things that seem meaningless are actually the best ways universe can teach us the meaning of acceptance. For anything you could rationalise, understand, you'd still be bargaining with it, instead of accepting it as it is. I found strength in that, but I also stumbled very much along the way. And it is extremely unfair to tell somebody "lol bro just accept whatever you went through". It simply is what it is.
Good luck anon.

I don't care that much about what happens after death. All I want is to never see any human again or I will just straight out assume that afterlife is hell. I hate humans so much it's unbelievable, I hate that I have to interact with humans because I'm programmed this way and I hate that I'm human, too

>>22033716
So to be clear. I did do everything right in the sense that I got a degree, got a stable job, all that. But it was everything wrong in the sense that it wasn’t what I really wanted and I also sort of ended up doing them in a mediocre fashion. I got the degree, but barely from a mediocre school. I got the job but it’s a lame job that pays very little. Etc. there was one year where I landed what I thought was a really high end job but it turned out to be a shitty one. I’ve been sort of defeated ever since then. I’ve had mediocre jobs, never really went anywhere, never really did anything. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do until I was well into my late twenties and at that point a lot of decisions have been made you know? You’ve chosen your education, your career, you can’t go back and do what you want or think you’ll be successful at and you probably didn’t take the risks you might be now wishing you had. Of course, you can just start it all now but you can never really get the biography of having done it right off the bat. There’s a lot of insecurity that comes with that. I tend to wonder “if I was meant to do this thing I am passionate about, wouldn’t I have done it earlier?” or I wonder “how do I salvage this” and I just come up empty handed like there’s not conceivable positive outcome.

I have to get out of my mom’s house but I really have nowhere in particular to go and all of the desirable places are simply too expensive.

>>22033199
How the fuck do you shave your ass, do you have a dentist's chair or something?

whatever

>>22033739
The have a name for people like you.

>>22033797
Like for everythine else, I know

>>22033739
This life and earth is metaphorically hell, not the afterlife

>>22033785
You ask your best friend to do it. You just kneel up on a table and spread your cheeks. It's not gay.

>>22032252
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXvuJu1kt48
https://www.reddit.com/r/Petioles/comments/zmyo03/notes_huberman_lab_podcast_on_the_effects_of/

>>22032308
You're living right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEIqVq7EZqEx

>>22032437
read "four thousand weeks"

Too much negative thinking here

That's your choice but does it make you enjoy life?

Maybe see things differently

>>22033850
Take solace in life being hell, then maybe we can all achieve salvation eventually

>>22033785
Funny thing is you can find tutorials on it on youtube.
Full on wide spread womens anuses on youtube, whowing you how to shave it.
I'm at work now so won't link it but give it a search.

>>22033850
Desire is the root of suffering

I AM BORN AGAIN
BACK TO THE LAND OF THE LIVING

THIS SICKNESS AIN'T SHIT!

>>22030182
>I'm a short, ugly dude with a prickly personalty anyway
Doesn't matter. If you were big and handsome, normies would be intimidated and still keep away. You have to be genuinely interested in interacting with people so you keep starting conversations. Normies have a subconscious pull for these things, for people like us it's a chore.

>>22033752
You can't afford one of those luxury condos that have been popping up all over? Pfffft.
Nah for real it's bad here too, they buy up small homes for 500k or more just to bulldoze them for a 1.5+ million dollar one. Boomer can't seem to grasp the negative aspects of pricing your own children, basically everyone who graduates from my hometown high school can't afford (by a long shot) to live in the town they grew up in. Everyone is forced to either move to rural areas, the south, the west, or stay with parents.
Oh yesterday I saw a pick up game of cricket being played in a park, all of the Indian guys were driving land rovers or teslas. So diverserino gud.

>>22033888
i learned this quickly when trying VRchat; i'm used to talking to a big group of close friends who really only share interesting things and have real conversations.. the people in VRC are just fucking wasting eachothers time

hye lady
u got a thing I need
and maybe
more is not enough

>>22033850
I think lack of enjoyment is in part what causes negative thinking.

>>22033889
I think I could probably afford a place on my current income, but just barely. It’s remote, so I can go anywhere but the weird thing about being remote is that you may not have to be anywhere but you also have nowhere to be. There’s no particular reason to choose this place or that place, aside from those places which prohibitively expensive. The places you want to move, you can’t afford the rent. And the places you can afford the rent, you don’t really care. I’ve stuck around my mom’s house because we have a big family and my family is around, plus it was nice to spend some time with her after nearly a decade apart and save my money. But I’m far too old to be living with my mother now. I just turned 30 last week. It’s only been 1 year to save some money, but in the end it was pointless. It’s not enough to buy a house. All that aside, I really want to quit this job. I have just enough savings to just quit and focus on my personal projects for a year if I get a cheap cottage in the country or spend it traveling. But what will I do after? I have a lot of things I wish I did a few years back to put me in a better position but this is the position I’m in and I’m unsure what to do right now.

>>22033889
Do you think they buy it on credit or they can afford it because they own small businesses and have medicine and IT jobs? They seem to have locked their own grandkids out of owning businesses and real estate, and outsourced high paying jobs to cheaper labor. I know two guys who run construction companies. One is a white guy from America. The other is a Hispanic guy that was here illegally for 10 years. The Hispanic guy is dominating the white guy’s business because he finds ways to employ all of these other Hispanics for dirt cheap and saves on cost.

>>22033850
maybe suck my dick idiot

>>22033750
You're placing too much importance on the destination instead of the journey itself.
Consider this; even though it might be an unpleasant thought, maybe you needed as much time as you took to start trying to find your own way. Even if you did things half-assedly, that's simply the result of your internal processes trying to figure out what you wanted to do. It sucks it took a while, but on the other hand, instead of wasting 30 years, you just received the next 30 years to use as you please.
I'm at work so some of these thoughts are far less cohesive than I'd like them to be and the thread seems to be going out. It all sounds kind of wishy washy, but almost always when talking to "underachievers" I end up talking to people who achieved a lot by staying alive- not to sound melodramatic but it's a theme I noticed-underachievers usually have heaps of other stuff going on that takes up far too much space in your head to compete with those without such burdens.
Fulfilling your own emotional needs or coming to terms with their lack as a child/young adult is impressive and those who have to do that should never have to beat themselves over not "achieving" some other more conventional stuff.

gotta live in the moment

>>22034016
I did need this much time. I just wish the journey had been more of a journey and more interesting. You know? It’s like how you could’ve learn what to do next by sitting and doing nothing for too long, but you could’ve also learned it by being really active and doing too much. And if what you will do next benefits more from the latter, then the latter would have been preferable.

>>22034050
Anon, it's okay to be sad. You won't move forward until you've processed the sadness you feel.

I wish I was autistically obsessed on some point

>>22034097
same, i wish i could just keep enjoying the same stupid shit indefinitely.

>>22034074
I don’t think it’s sadness so much as like regret or frustration, but I know you’re right. I’m struggling with that right now.

new
>>22034200

Working for someone else after my early 20s feels like a life failure. Having to sit and listen to this woman ask me what I’m planning to get done this week and tell me what I need to do makes me realize the sort of man I want to become would’ve never put up with this at any age let alone my age. People who respect themselves and are leaders don’t do this sort of shit.