/lit/ - Literature

Big boobs rule the world

Here's the thing
I don't get
Is that
Actually
In a lot of these stories
Regrets lead to really wild adventures
As the spirit of humanity slingshots
Up and down
Like a heartbeat
On a monitor

>>21994559
I don't wanna lose hope that this Western world is not a hamster wheel. Is there any way to make a decent living in this world without having to sell my soul to a corporation that will bleed me dry until I die? Is there a way to win good money so that I can invest in my future or a business without having an office job that will suck the soul out of my asshole? I guess the best case scenario in that regard of labor is to get into a manual trade.

But still, I'm not losing any hope. I get lazy sometimes but overall I'm trying the best I can.

>>21994559
Ever since I've got fit I've started feeling worthy to masturbate to more attractive anime characters

>>21994580
Probably, I found it easier to live closer to the ground and tell my company to fuck itself if they ask something fucking crazy from me. They can fire me out of the blue, but I can also just quit out of the blue, so either way its a business not a "family". The moment you are useless they throw you out, so unless they are paying you don't lift a finger more and if they complain about it just tell them they get what they pay for. Then you can jump to another company that will pays you more for your experience. They want you to bend over backwards for them, but they'll drag their feet on everything for you.

>>21994584
GJ anon your waifu will be proud of you one day

Can anyone on /lit/ actually get their point across without going into a 3 paragraph rant?
You guys suck at writing.

>>21994635
2 para rant: we improving.

>>21994572
Really cool, anon. Nice

>>21994635
Can anyone on /lit/ get their point across without going into a 2 sentence rant?

>>21994642
>>21994654
You're right this isn't a chat thread and I'm sorry for posting bait. There is just so much in my life that I am displeased with that it spilled over into your world.

>>21994693
Ah bloo bloo bloo tldr

>>21994698
>It’s testing you to see if your righteous god/satan.
Basic bitch, drama queens require nonstop shit-tests in order to "gauge" you because they lack proper, basic emotive function and therefore cannot accurately determine shit the first 12 or so times. But a human with a functioning brain knows how to gauge you, not stirring shit up, but by ACTUALLY watching, you and getting to know you through empathic simulation and whatnot. God is tranny with histrionic personality disorder if this is what he calls "testing".
>Would you be able to find happiness if everything was just given to you?
A pointless question that ALWAYS pissed me off. I have no idea, because I'm here and me right now, and NOT THAT. Everyone has a different reaction to situational and environmental stimuli/stressors, and what they do with the extra breathing room granted from privilege. I'm not saying money will make me happy, but I sure as hell would much rather be upset and crying in a Ferrari, rather than be upset and crying in some ditch.

Im so boring and trapped in my head
Why cant i take it easy and have fun

>>21994559
I really like circles.

>>21994728
Xi? I thought you left

Browsing through the coupon booklet that came in the mail. Deciding what local resturant/cafe I want to explore today. What should I get bros? Ice cream, sushi bowl, burgers, Mexican, or milk tea and fried food?

>>21994770
Sushi bowl.

>>21994777
Okay, to sushi I go. Hopefully raw fish will cure my hangover.

>>21994784
Tell them you have a hangover and ask if they have a remedy and they'll give you something for free

I've read for 20 years now. I speak and read 5 languages. I have completed Bloom's canon. I am erudite in the philosophy from the pre-socratics until today, and well-versed in history. I can engage with most subjects somewhat intelligently. I have attained what the german educators meant when they talked of Bildung.
It wasn't worth it. I could have spent all that time getting pussy and money instead.

>>21994765
Xi?

Is looking at drawn or painted naked women any better than watching normal porn?

>>21994836
Jerk off to your imagination. It's better than anything else and has none of the drawbacks of disgusting Jewish psyops

>>21994480
So what would you say to someone dying by paper cut? I agree that it’s the worst kind of failure, but one that’s often not realized until it’s too late.

>>21994559
He sat there thinking back to when they first met. It had all led to this, the cheap apartment strewn with knickknacks. He looked at the pictures. Her face was bright and they were holding eachother close.
The apartment seemed to be divided. His space with his small desk and an old record player. Her space with the couch and a large television. The kitchen with her plants. The bedroom with his bookshelf. Everything he had spent his life collecting was pushed into the spare bedroom, into the closet. But her cheap statuettes and decorations were on full display. He wondered why he loved her.

>>21994804
After all those years you're still a man. Use your knowledge and education to impress females or gain money. If you can't do that with all your "intelligence" than you are a fool.

I wanna post a pic of my sushi bowl but my phone camera is really fucked up. I cant get a non blurry pic

If I think too hard about certain topics I feel as if I'm about to have a seizure.

I'd be fine with a black woman, even having a daughter with her, but I'd most likely want her to abort if our baby turned out to be a black son. Does that make me racist?

I am thinking how the creative process has been nothing but a tragedy. I imagine the vague-ideological concept of the ‘perfect thing’ in which a person can think of thinking of; a book, a movie, a society, and so on, and it’s actually the vagueness of the concept of the thing’s perfection which makes it extraordinary, because once you actualize the concept it becomes real; you can see it right in front of you, can experience its arraying detail, and what happens is that the vagueness of the ideological desire of the thing’s perfectness is now gone—by making it real you have removed the one thing that made it so extraordinary in the first place—and so perhaps one of the greatest tragedies in life is that the creator, no matter how small of a perfectionist he or she is, will never actually achieve the ultimate object of desire which kept them creating in the first place, because any attempt at creating the utopianist-object of desire results in something that can not contain the mysticality of enigmatic nebulousness which can only be found in the pre-actualized vagueness of the unformed thing, and the potentiality of the thing will always be more appealing than any final actualization.

>>21995045
The idea that the black son is inherently going to disappoint you is steeped in prejudice and bias. Would it be impossible for him to grow into someone you could love?

>>21995045
No. Its natural. Your son is a different tribe. Its disgusting

>>21995048
The process of trying to actualize your vision or idea in your mind is the joy of being a creator. Of course you will struggle and make mistakes. The idea of creating something perfect is very subjective. One person may love your creation others may despise it. The concept of perfection is holding you back from creating. It may be disappointing to see yourself stray from your vision and pure ideas you had in your mind. But if you never write, film, or record anything no one will ever see your work.

So annoyed right now. I went to check out this cafe chain in my area. They make you use one of those touch screen self serve kiosks. I used it to order a coffee drink. Soon as I order it the barista tells me that specific location doesnt serve coffee. At all. Why the fuck is it on the menu? Why isnt there a sign on the kiosk? Anyway, I already paid so he whips up some drink for me. Now, dont get me wrong, the drink is good. He put together some premade vietnamese coffee which is the only alternative available and I love vietnamese coffee. Half the fucking drink is ice. It was 7 dollars after taxes. What the fuck. Why is the service industry so fucking shitty and gay

I'm experiencing the call of the void more and more. It's like the open window is calling to me.

>>21995190
The void? Like you want to die?

>>21995216
No, at least not consciously. But I work at the tenth floor of an office building and right next to me there is an open window and I keep getting intrusive thoughts about sitting on the border of the window and just letting go.

>>21995229
It only happens when I'm close to the window, for that matter. I'm going to ask to have my work station moved.

just found out Jefferson Davis met Oscar Wilde

I want badly to make up for errors made when I was younger. But I know I can’t. I know what’s done is done and can never be undone.

>>21995229
It happens to me when I drive. I think you are, like me, probably manically or chronically depressed. You know that if you’re really honest with yourself.

>>21995273
l have the same feeling. People will say 'move on and focus on your life now and in the future' but the past still tortues every day

>>21995277
The present and future aren’t open ended. They’re limited by the past. It can really suck. It really sucks knowing exactly what you should do but only when it’s too late.

>>21994763
Fan of a good triangle myself

Why aren't there more novel length sentences? I'm so fucking sick of periods.

>>21994904
Dude if you put half as much time into doing anything else other than complaining itts, "it's too late!", you'd have already accomplished something. Srsly retarded weebs from le 4 channel have learnt katakana and kore wa pen desu in the time you've spent complaining this past week. Do fucking anything else.

>when someone on the left mentions the right being fragile over words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H57yKO5DkUM

>>21995056
>Would it be impossible for him to grow into someone you could love?
You mean a white man? Michael Jackson did it...

I hope my boyfriend's ex girlfriend gets chlamydia if she doesn't have it already.

>>21995418
did you ever post your hand?

>>21994888
Or just don't do it at all. Channel that energy into something productive. Still what you said is far, far better than what he said or what they want you to do.

>>21995441
No.

>>21995457
Why

I finally graduated from university yesterday. I struggled so much this last 2-3 years that I thought it was never gonna happen

>>21994559
My favorite movie is The Pursuit of Happiness. Is there any books that capture this kind of vibe? Just a mans life as he struggles to make his dreams happen.

>>21995467
I'm so fucking happy for you anon. I'm a jobless, uneducated NEET myself. Would you describe you university life more like "Good Will Hunting" or "A Beautiful Mind" ?

>>21995455
>Channel that energy into something productive.
I already make several quality shitposts every day

I have come to the revelation that Finnegan’s Wake is most comprehensible when an old Irish Farmer, the kind from the backcountry and whose father was born during the late 1890s, is reading it aloud to you. It has broken me.

I'm looking for a good fictional autobiography that is about a persons entire life (preferably something more than 1000 pages)

>>21995467
Congrats. What degree?

I'm working on my new novel titled "Peaking Though" about a man who is a paranoid schizophrenic with agoraphobia so he doesn't leave the house, but he obsessivly looks out his window all day and goes mad

>>21995483
I have not seen A Beautiful Mind but I do like Good Will Hunting quite a lot. Can't really say it was similar to it though. I had many moments like Un Homme Qui Dort where I would just disappear from uni and stay alone and do nothing, then realize I can't keep evading things and I came back to 'action'. But then I happened to fall into avoidance and depression again. Idk, it was quite hard and I've been quite alone during this time. This last 2 months I pushed through a lot of work to finally get this over and it paid off so I feel at least satisfied with what I did.

>>21995539
what does he see?

>>21995550
DEEZE NUTS

/wg/ people have been telling me to write something else because im too stressed about my novel, but im not sure what I should be writing. I have a bunch of ideas but none of them seem interesting to me, and most are novels in their own right

>>21995550
society

I'm working/procrastinating on building an coherent identity for myself and have at least took the first steps. I constantly find myself looking life from a differing perspective and most of my defining charesteristics are sad memories and the social alter ego. It's like having a workshop where every single tool is just lost in the chaos and the layout of the building is ever changing. Thus i need to form a more permanent base for my being. I'm thinking of writing an essay collection, doing a schizo wall chart like pic related or forming a memory palace of sorts in my mind. Anyone ever done something like this?
On a lighter note: Told my therapist about me shitting my pants a week ago episode >>21970273 and we both laughed to the point of tears and things have been going better. I would love to have started my redemption arc from trusting the wrong fart.

>>21995467
Congrats Anon, hopefully you didn't get a useless degree like mine and then find out later its useless, lol.
>>21995582
>choose a method of choosing randomly or pick the one that is most interesting to you.
>start writing
>bored?
>start writing something else your interested in
Tons of authors write multiple stories at once and then they either stitch them together into 1 book or they just leave them and come back later. This is gonna sound gay but the whole "inner Muse" thing isn't 100% bullshit, if your just going through the motions it will come out in your writing.
If you can't do that for fear of not doing it justice, write about something you do not give a fuck about at all. The author of Sherlock Holmes fucking hated the character and writing about him, which ironically gave him an edge because he just wrote via his gut since he had no investment. You can also just get a Solo Tabletop RPG game and just let the dice do a lot of the deciding when your stuck or something.

>>21994904
I would say to know yourself, be honest and objective as possible about how you've been living and why you find it unacceptable, and make it the central project of your life to change. I'm not an expert, but I would go about it vaguely as follows:

1) Develop a heightened sense of agency.
Lodge within yourself the felt sense that the world is a sandbox and you are a player. You can make things happen. Increase this sense by making microgoals, achieving them consistently, and scaling up. Learn to learn if you haven't already. You can employ lifestyle interventions like nootropics, breathwork, and exercise to make this all a little easier.

2) Increase the number of opportunities you come in contact with.
Go where you can reasonably expect to find the kind of opportunities you seek. You have to go where the scene is. If you want to be an actor, you are better off washing dishes in LA than taking an acting class in Iowa. It doesn't have to be a physical place, either. It can be a specific sphere on social media or a group chat. Just spend time where you need to be, and be visible.

3) Identify opportunities.
Know what you're looking for nominally, but also keep and open mind. Our environments are full of affordances that are yet to be grasped because they aren't being viewed from the right frame. People often end up where they are by ways that do not look like an obvious logical sequence when described verbally. Instead of fixating on a specific label or job title, think about the kind of context you want to inhabit and what kind of experiences you're looking to have. Be willing to throw down on something that doesn't match the image you had in your head.

4) Grasp opportunities.
Sitting in front of a screen where the material is all static and will wait endlessly for you to push a button is exactly the opposite of how real life works, and it's the kind of executive environment we're conditioning ourselves with all the time. Real life is time-sensitive. If you have problems with grasping opportunities in real time, you need develop on-the-fly decision-making. Make a practice of doing things on a whim. This will help you build intuition and self-trust. The point is that you need to physically and emotionally feel like you can make those calls in context, and the best way to get that feeling is by experientially demonstrating that it's possible. Start with small things and build up.

cont.

>>21995631
>easy mode: find a philosophy you like and stick to it
>hard mode: Understand that its okay to have little to no identity and meditate and be patient, over time a true identity will emerge from that.
also I'm not a therapist so if they disagree with it then you should listen to them.

>>21994904
I would say this:
>"Sometimes it is better to coom before dinner, than to coom in the shower."

>>21995643
5) Commit and see it through.
After grasping an opportunity, you now need to do the work. Don't wonder if you've made the right decision. That will only dissipate your energy and resolve. Just plunge right in. If you've ever committed 100% to doing something, you know there's a feeling in you, a kind of momentum, that makes doing the work easier. You've freed all the energy normally tied up in the process of trying to decide what to do, and this allows action to flow from you with less resistance. Over the long term, things obviously aren't always so smooth, so you need to be able to regulate your emotions to make consistent work possible. This is where discipline and having a routine or schedule helps. A writer with discipline and a set schedule makes the completed project a sure thing because there's wondering about when all the writing's going to be done.

Will everything you commit to work out? No, almost certainly not. But you need to get in the habit of overriding early concerns of possible unwanted outcomes with real action. It's the process of identifying, grasping, committing, and staying on the path that makes things happen in the world. It's the ability to complete this circuit over and over again that characterizes the interesting, successful, and engaged life.

So a few weeks ago, I was reading Nietzsche's biography and realized I was exactly the person he describes -- using philosophy as a kind of coping mechanism and rejection of the real world. After this, I realized I need to focus on real life again, and started working toward it.

Since then, I developed a seriously unhealthy obsession with my appearance. Every day I spend over 20 minutes just looking in the mirror, I took a walk just now and spent the whole time looking at myself in my phone camera, adjusting my hair and trying to make it not look hideous. I bought a bunch of hair care products and gel but nothing is satisfying. Every time it looks like shit, except once in a blue moon it will look good but I can't replicate it because I don't pay close attention to how I do my hair. My feeling is, if it takes a ton of work to make my hair look not-ugly then maybe I'm just naturally ugly and should accept it. My head lately is a constant battle of dialogue between the feeling of "You're an ugly piece of shit" and the logic of "Other people have told you you're attractive! Stop worrying!"

So yeah, it's all mentally ill bullshit but I can't stop. Turns out when you change a mentally ill guy's mindset he is not cured, he's just mentally ill towards a different thing. I actually miss using philosophy as a cope because now I'm way less happy

>>21995638
What degree did you get

I fucking hate headline language and how it removes certain words to be "concise"
It took me 3 full minutes of staring at the nonsense picrelated until I realized that it's supposed to be passive voice

Working the night shift again. I really hate it. Every friday night I'm working. It sucks because it wrecks the day of friday as what I can before work is extremely limited, and it wrecks saturday because I'm working til 3am and need to sleep until at least noon to be functional at all.

I have this odd dual mindset. I feel cheated and burned by the world, which causes me to feel resentment and bitterness, generally leaving me jaded and angry. But somewhere along the line, being so jaded with the world turned liberating. I was able to just stop caring about a bunch of petty bullshit and "check out" which has granted me a feeling of inner and personal freedom. I'm reminded of when Moses led the Jews out of Egypt. They said to Moses that the freedom in the desert sucks and that they would rather return to slavery in Egypt. Often times I feel the same, daydreaming about a normie life where I'm chained to conventions and values I dont actually care about. Other times i love being in the desert, able to openly scorn social institutions, not caring about whom I offend.

I really should stop masturbating before work

>>21995713
Exercise Science, I'm a /fit/izen. I'm retraining into tech right now.

>>21995696
nuthin wrong with looking like shit
most people do

>>21995728
>They chose Kamala Harris
Oh thank god, for a moment I thought they were going to elect someone who would do something.

>>21995845
Why dont you be a personal trainer or do occupation therapy or something

>>21995865
Because I dislike socializing with people. I'm an introvert and I'm a Type B personality living in an extroverted Type A personality city. These stupid fucks never stop talking and they never listen to you.

test

My porn addiction gives me great grief and makes me feel I cannot allow myself to join society. Is this true, or am I simply using it as an excuse to avoid making a genuine attempt at connection?.

What does it mean to have a life?

>>21995911
it doesnt mean anything. It's just cope for people to feel like they are doing something meaningful. You can spend your entire life watching TV and it's no less of a life than someone who went on irl adventures and started a family. You can just do whatever you want

>>21995519
Diceman isn't that long but it is chunky

>>21995905
Everyone watches porn.

>>21994888
I dont jerk off, I just look at the pictures.

>>21996033
this is simply not true

i just went to a porno website and like 10 seconds later a chick texts me. now i'm paranoid.

>>21996033
This I already believe. Do they watch lolicon and maternal incest porn? That I'm more doubtful of, at least towards one of these two.

I’ve never been a NEET and yet I somehow feel like I’ve lived a life worse than that of a NEET.

>>21996096
You don't really need to use your imagination to imagine a life worse than being a NEET.

>>21994836
Yes

>>21994888
What if I do this and still can't stop using porn? As in, I browse porn to inspire and kickstart my imagination, then I put the phone away and actually get to it

>>21996108
>to inspire and kickstart my imagination
This does not happen. Orgasm does not relieve stress, headaches, or boredom. It just alleviates the stress caused by your addiction to it. Try it next time you have a headache: masturbate, then really pay attention afterwards if your headache actually stays away.

>>21996105
You do.

>>21994559
alcohol gives me powers beyond human comprehension

>>21996118
Okay. NEET but addicted to crack. I don't even need to picture it but I know its worse. Easy dub

>>21996114
What? I don't masturbate to clear my head, I use porn to get material to fantasize about for masturbation. Thought that was clear with what I was replying to.

>>21996093
My desire for fetish porn greatly diminished, when I accepted my sexuality in general, including occasional masturbation. I think there is some truth in the concept of repression, beating yourself up about it probably won't help.
Sexual desires can be very irrational and in the end you didn't hurt anyone. If your shame and guilt are so strong, that you don't feel worthy to interact with people, you will just fall deeper into depression and cope with more porn.

time alchemy reaches out in all directions and pulls

>>21996093
Did you start here or did you get there over a number of years? The former is definitely more fucked up than the latter.

>>21994559
i used to think the psychedelic experience was when you hallucinated from doing drugs
now i understand the true psychedelic experience is when you hallucinate from not doing drugs

>>21996135
>I use porn to get material to fantasize about for masturbation
Ah I see. I personally don't consider that much different from watching porn but then again anti-porn folks say its okay to use memories of real sex when masturbating, which is kind of the same as what youre doing
>>21996137
Thanks for sharing this. You're right about how it can drive someone deeper into the pit by isolating. I'd like this compulsion to just go away, as I fear by connecting to people I will suffer by being unable to share my personal self from fear of being ostracized, or worse through some terrible freudian slip.
>>21996156
I was first exposed here on 4chan when I was probably 13, when I first started collecting internet porn. I didn't have any special attraction to it until later, after years of hard porn addiction, masturbating at least twice a day under the stresses of university, increasing my need for more taboo fetishes, as the normal stuff stopped affecting me at all. Suicidal ideation in particular gave me a nihilistic feeling that there was no need to keep myself from anything taboo, if it gave me pleasure, seeing as recovery to some "normal" lifestyle felt hopeless, and so I fapped to the lolis. Now its a terrible burden on my path to recovery.

>>21994559
i do not understand how atheism exists amongst adults

>>21996189
childhood last until at least 35 now, and for some adulthood never comes, lost in a world of alcohol, video games, escapism, constant stimulation, porn, etc. many people will never have to become religious because they will never live in the real world. think of how many people never have to take anything seriously? think of how much we are shielded from death. milquetoast, satiated lives prevent religious experiences.

>>21996189
Don't worry, Krishna will punish them sooner or later.

>>21996189
>>21996222
I live in Washington DC and I can tell you there are tons of people in Government or in places of power who can, will, and do throw temper tantrums if they can't get their coffee. Most people are just grown children, our society and the sea of "culture" we swim in does not promote introspection, which requires at least an hour a day of not consuming something.

The zoomer cutoff should be whether one remembers telephone books being an actual thing or not.

I envy people who can cast aside romanticized views of the world, and are somehow able to tolerate the flawed nature of reality.

>>21996256
I remember having a yellow pages next to the home phone, but we never used either the yellow pages or the home phone.

>>21994559
I don’t want to continue existing. My mind hurts thinking of everything. I can’t make sense of it all. Because I can’t neatly make sense of things in my head, I don’t honestly like anything. Even humans. It’s all a mess in my head. I don’t know where to even begin.

>>21996308
zoomie then

"please tell me how the Quran agrees with all my liberal views of the world"

I really wish my religion professor would put me in a self defense situation right now. We have to wright textual analyses of sacred texts based on the questions he provides and it's been like this for every single one. I'm not even analyzing anything, I'm just repeating his views back to him. I want to fucking die.

>>21996361
How did academia become to pathetic

>>21996361
That's how it goes, yes.

>>21996327
>I don’t honestly like anything. Even humans.
Society almost always shows people who dislike people as evil or malformed, but you are on the precipice of one of the greatest secrets kept. If you are able to be alone for long periods of time and flourish, you'll find that as long as you can get that solitude a lot of the problems you encounter become meaningless. A lot of problems that we experience is mainly due to interacting and dealing with other people and once you remove it and your alone, you'll probably do nothing for a long period of time before you start to actually do stuff. First it will be physical stuff, organizing your shit, doing things you always wanted to do, maybe getting into working out to lose weight or learn how to cook. Eventually, you'll start to change internally, you'll be less anxious, you'll calm down. Once you have found that foundational root of power, you'll transform into a completely different person. Many times people will sabotage you or go out of their way to prevent you from changing because they don't want you to change or they don't like change.
>>21996361
If you know enough about Islam it can be a great vehicle for secretly mind fucking people in the West. Just so you know, I'm not muslim but a lot of arguments can be twisted from conservative to liberal or back again using it. Same goes with Judaism and Christianity. You just have to know the source material and be creative enough for it.

>>21996366
>From your own perspective, what are three basic human needs that
ought to be treated as basic human rights for people orphaned by
a capitalist system?

This is for an analysis of the Quran. How am I supposed to answer this? Who fucking cares what I think?

>>21996369
>once you remove it and your alone, you'll probably do nothing for a long period of time before you start to actually do stuff.
I work 40hrs a week, but other than that, i’m home alone. Everything is still a mess in my head.

>>21996374
I genuinely believe academics should be put in labor camps

>>21996404
He means loners with a lot of free time, like students and the unemployed. Pretty accurate for me desu. For the first year of my isolation I did literally nothing, but after that i got really active. I do stuff all the time, alone. Though I still dont orgqnize my room lmao.

Do women know how hot they are when they wear certain types of clothing? I mean, when they dress themselves and look at the mirror, they must know that a certain pair of pants makes their asses look bigger, that a certain blouse leaves a lot of cleavage exposed, and so on. And even if they're doing it to attract a certain guy, say their crush, they should know that they actually attract a lot of attention from other people as well, including the likes of me and (you)
Is that deliberate? Do they want to be looked at, ogled, flirted on by guys who they'll never fuck and so on? Fuck. I'm puzzled.

>>21996412
I also have to write about one "truth" from Islam that I can take to heart. I really don't care for this religion, any tips? Charity maybe?

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”

That's the advice my dad has given me on college work and I've taken that to heart.

>>21996419
Humanity is in an orgy with itself. Your gf or wife would sleep with another guy for sure.

I miss my childhood innocence, smallness, and wonder.

>>21996438
I'm sure of it.
I only had one case where a girlfriend straight up told me she kissed a guy at a party, but I'm pretty sure most of them cucked me. In fact, I'm pretty sure most people cucked most people. At least where I live, at least during these last decades. It's hard to see how our current mentality wouldn't lead to loads of adultery and so on.

Just finished reading Madame Bovary. Wtf was Emmas problem? How was Charles so blind about Emma?

>>21996412
This is very quotable. I'm keeping a screenshot of this.

>>21996485
most commentary on MB notes that flaubert was very conscious of popular romance novels of the day, which emma is fond of. emmas interior life is a sort of parody of romance novels. flaubert thought of them as cheap and decadent, and basically made up emma to spoof what he thought of as the perfect consumer of trash novels, a woman terminally bound in selfish fantasies. charles bovary was a safe bet as far as marriage. from what i recall, emma came from sort of a shabby background, and marrying a doctor was seen as a good move, if naive. of course, charles turns out not to be so ambitious (and which is why he married a ditz like emma in the first place) and he ends up staying a provincial sort of fella. charles is a regular guy. he actually loves his work, he's good at it, and he loves emma. hes simple. emma, on the other hand, is a closeted psycho.

the novel, at the time, was denounced as being cynical and mean spirited because it depicted the "nice" fantasies of emma as being inevitably destructive and self-destructive. what people wanted was to see emma escape the throes of her oppressively "boring" husband and fly into the arms of a charming young man. in the actual novel however charles is an upstanding guy, emma is a gold digging whore, and her knight in shining armor even calls her a crazy washed up bitch. lol flaubert was so mad at this stereotypical forlorn woman that he literally wrote an entire novel thats the equivalent of "meme them until they cry, and then make memes of them crying". utterly based.

>>21996247
Throw temper tantrums back at them

>>21994559
I told myself to never do it again, but I fucked a whore tonight. I blame the kratom, which I also told myself to never do again.

I thought maybe the pretty ones work Friday. They don't, and I don't know any reason why the Friday girls would be any better than Saturday. I would've been better off getting a legitimate massage. "Ashley" rubbed my back for 20 seconds with strongly scented lotion. I smell like a fucking whore right now and I'm too exhausted to take a shower.

"Everything papi?" "Yes, please!" She laughs at the conviviality of my reply.

I fuck her doggy style for a furious minute then ask her to turn over. I can see she's had at least one C-section. I finish after 30 seconds and give her two quick pats on the ass as if to say, "All done!"

I'm probably never doing that again.

>>21996511
That makes sense, Emma is in love about the aesthetics of love but not the actual everyday love. She seems like borderline. I can see why the novel is still relevant to this day, a lot of men are like Charles, Leon and Rodolf and women delusional like Emma.

>>21996432
>write about one "truth" from Islam that I can take to heart
All women are whores and must be subjegated by men

>>21996580
Actually I didn't notice it but the deadline already passed for that. I really hope I don't fuck up on the final or I am fucked.

>>21996590
Why do you study Islam?

Are you a philosophy student or something?

>>21996514
Throw temper tantrums back at DEEZE NUTS

>>21996534
Kratom is God awful. It made my head feel like I drank too much caffeine and my body felt numb and dull, but my stomach felt tight and queasy. Not pleasant at all.

>>21996599
No I went for computer science, it's a religion class and it's one of those general classes. I fucking hate it but I did find Hinduism interesting.

>>21994559

I avoided masturbation for two weeks, but then had a highly unsatisfactory wank to images of naked fat women that remind me of my ex-wife. Thanks for reading my diary.

>>21996621
Is it like an "outside course" you have to take in universities nowadays? Why do you take it?

>>21996638
Because I have to.

I'm just going to leave this here.

Why do I see my images in sepia filter when meditating?

>>21996630
your post conveys a lot with very little. powerful and succinct.

>>21996666
Wasted.

27 pages for nothing. This character is not only useless in the narrative structure of the book I am writing, but actively harmful to it.

>>21995519
His name was Gurp maybe

>>21995048
Just write

>>21996611
I love the high. It's just like opiates for me and similarly wrecks my guts in excess

I was so constipated once I tried squatting on the rim of the toilet, but couldn't get into a deep enough squat. I needed LEVERAGE to push it out, so I put a trash bag on the floor and shit in there

New appreciation for toilet design. Really great that the turds are submerged. The unattenuated smell of human feces in a confined space is absolutely horrible

Philosophy of toys

>>21994559
Me? I despise the antichrist.

If I want to hit a 1000lb total next test day I need to add 25lbs each to my bench and squat and 35lbs to my deadlift.
Is it possible? Maybe, my noob gains haven't run out yet and my progression has been good. Will it actually happen? Dunno. If I don't get it now I'll get it in a few training blocks for sure.
After this my goal is to have a bench north of 250 and a squat north of 3.5pl8. Deadlifts I'll accept some slower progression on. My overall goal is 5 plates but I'm in no rush, especially since I'm trying to be able to run a decently fast 5 mile time concurrent with my strength goals.
On a side note, I'm surprised I didn't get into lifting years ago. It just feels right to progressively lift heavier objects, the same way running feels right to me.

>>21996361
There's an entire genre of books written by libs for libs built around this concept of "umm islam is actually more liberal than christianity ever was and that's why there's absolutely no problem with the way our demographics are shifting btw islam was always a part of europe and european culture and that's why we need a couple more millions of muslims inside our borders".

The worst is when actual muslims take it seriously, which they of course do, the uneducated and uncritical brown people they are, and start acting like indians online because they read some upper-middle class bitch with a vaguely germanic name from a gated community talking about how they wuz actually kangz back when the abbasids and the andalusian emirates were around and taught whypipo to bathe n sheit.

>>21995048
To be scared of criticism is a sign of a bad writer.

For the next month or two I'll abstain from religious literature to put practice forward. There is this verse in the Dhammapada which states something along the lines of "Good is the one who knows little but knows it well and practices. Bad is the one who knows so much but does not practice."
But what's on my mind still is that I want to finish learning the Heart Sutra by heart.

The only thing that may count as religious-themed is The Journey to the West because it's been incredibly fun to read when exhausted or I'm lacking concentration for something more difficult. My movie-replacement. Funni monke buddha monk book.

>>21996890
>Good is the one who knows little but knows it well and practices. Bad is the one who knows so much but does not practice.
I'm neither a Buddhist nor a Vedantic guy but there's some truth to this. It's possible to end up in a state where you know the truth but are unable to participate in it or actualize it, like having the key to a building but not being able to fit through the doorway.

My entire life has been the closest you can have to being 'tapped-in' to a digital world without any of the science fiction stuff. I don't feel like I have a extraordinarily different personality because of it, but it seems strange that most of my formative memories come from the internet. A childhood like that wouldn't even be possible half a century ago. I'm always curious about whether spending your entire life on the computer produces unique characteristics or if it's barely different to regular socialization.

Here I am again. 3:30 in the morning, on a saturday. I finished my graveyard shift. All my friday eveninf and night, stuck in a retail store, basically just babysitting it. It's an interesting time of day. Even here in the hustle and bustle of rhe major metropolitan area, where millions live, everything is still and quiet and empty. I drive the empty streets, seeing only the occasional car pass by, or lone person walking the shadows. I wonder why they're up so late. Or maybe they're up early. I remember the last retail job where I would start at 4am every morning. It's a remarkably different feeling, to wake up so early than it is to stay up so late, even though it's the same time. I have my one beer before bed, preparing to wake up in a few hours and sieze the daytime

Of fucking course you dumb fucks are suicidal if you spend time on this shit of a site. The idea that this place is any better than the worst that real life has to offer is a DELUSION. This is the most piece of fucking garbage place on Earth and you're going to drown in the fecal matter of low functioning autists who by all rights should be euthanized. If you are an actual human being get the FUCK out of here and never look back. I've purposefully come back here again to leave a message to other. LEAVE. LEAVE and NEVER come back. This place is fucking radioactive. Damage yourself in social ways, go to the bar to drink or pick up smoking, at least you can chat with other smokers. LEAVE this God-forsaken shithole, especially if you are suicidal or disappointed with life. Literally do anything else that isn't sitting your ass in front of his garbage dump full of nigger subhumans, autists and malicious shitheads. If yu think you are any more valuable than these people then you should fucking leave right now and never look back.

>>21997178
Actually good advice

he said, in the same shithole site
you're a pretentious dick head talking to yourself

>>21997197
Doesnt make him wrong

it makes him a hypocrite, it's the same thing as a guy eating a fat patty burger telling people they should eat salads and quit eating meat
either practice what you preach or shut the fuck up

>>21997178
It’s already over, dude. Recovery doesn’t matter anymore.

>>21997178
I don't think there are much niggers on this site. Especially on this board

https://youtu.be/DNxXRigHri4

I wish I could be this productive and mentally healthy without being madly in love. I make my apartment tidy, finish my books, hit the gym, all for a girl that will probably not live up to my expectations. Its horrible how much I degenerate when I have no one im interested in. Even in my mid 20s I still feel the same way as I did 10 years ago.

A loose alliance of culturally and linguistically somewhat homogenous city states led by aristocratic councils is probably my ideal form of government.

pretty sure any kind of elite, aristocracy or just plain old oligarchs wouldn't give two shits about what you think is the best form of government, it's all just nepotism and cronyism with extra steps anyway doesn't matter what flavor of it they advertise it as the weasels will always crawl their way to the top and start a coalition of dead weight that sucks the life out of any system they inhabit

>>21996514
I won't degrade myself to their materialistic and dirty standards.

I can logically walk myself to belief in a better future. It’s walking myself to my own future that’s a lot harder.

tends to be hard when the system is designed to raw dog you for the benefit of the already wealthier than they know what to do with it tards

Y'know I'm not religious but the idea of "divine inspiration" is the coolest thing and explains creativity extremely well

Greeks had the right idea with the muses too. When someone produces a work of creative genius, it really is like some kind of God is using him as a mouthpiece.

>>21996511
This actually makes the novel way better in retrospect
19th c. French novels had some great premises

religion is just idiots way to explain psychology to themselves and to make sense of the world and to cope with mortality, if you need it you need it

>>21997793
Many paths to the same place, you can cope by attempting to redefine terms and attempt to set up a hierarchy, but at the end of the day there is no inferior or superior path and no matter how stupid you think one path is over another, your going to look like an idiot yourself when you find someone who took that path standing at the same destination you are.

>you will look like a idiot if you criticize me if i stumble through the brushes like a drunken fool and end up at a city eventually
no, i'm just telling you your way is stupid and inefficient at anything it tries to do and the only reason it became widely spread was because
a) it helps cowards cope with mortality
b) it was spread through sword
c) it had a at the time powerful organization forcing its spread
d) the monarchists were eager to have a method of control for the peasants
e) it is much easier to explain to a retarded peasant that there is a giant bearded man in the sky who will torture them for eternity if they misbehave than to get them to follow laws out of rational self preservation
religious people are the kids who never grew up past their blankie who cling to a ideal of order that promises that their fear of death is natural and they should bypass it by becoming subservient to a bunch of old men in robes
if you need it, you need it

I’m looking for books about self-loathing and pessimism about one’s future. If you have any recommendations, it would be appreciated.

I like how every politician is like "Yes, well, I wasn't always rich. When I was a kid times were tough."
And I'm like
No shit
You were a kid. With no money. That doesn't mean you survived poverty.

>>21997178
Shut up monkey

>>21997848
sounds like religious people are the big kids who conquered the world and found the solution to humanity's problems. what have atheists done again apart from massacre billions of innocents in atheist revolutions?

>conquered the world
you couldn't even unify europe during religion
>found the solution to humanity's problems
by being subservient to the church?
lets face it, all religion did in europe was sometimes unified european petty kings to fight against ottomen and even then they couldn't keep from warring with each other long enough to finish the job
>what have atheists done
cured polio for one
He was Jewish by descent but did not practice religion in any conventional way. Salk stated that nature itself is the "scripture" that humans must study and follow, taking a scientific and humanist approach to concerns of ethics and morality.

I’ve been mostly depressed for 10 years. I’m getting to the point where I’m feeling more and more like the race is over and it’s not going to get better. But I have to persist anyway. I can’t give up. I need to score a big victory. And I need it now.

>>21997902
>you couldn't even unify europe during religion
europe was unified for almost 2000 years. Only fell apart after the proto-atheist revolution, aka protestantism.
>by being subservient to the church?
no, you already gave the answer yourself:
a) it helps cowards cope with mortality
b) it was spread through sword
c) it had a at the time powerful organization forcing its spread
d) the monarchists were eager to have a method of control for the peasants
e) it is much easier to explain to a retarded peasant that there is a giant bearded man in the sky who will torture them for eternity if they misbehave than to get them to follow laws out of rational self preservation
>cured polio for one
curing polio has nothing to do with atheism. louis pasteur pioneered development of the smallpox vaccine through germ theory, and was an ardent catholic

>>21997860
The only reason poverty sucks when you’re a kid anyway is because it usually means you have a shitty home life too.

if living subservient to the church is your idea of a solution be my guest, most sentient beings know how to think for themselves and don't need some old impotent preacher to tell them what to do or some stupid no no rule book to not be a douchebag

>>21997784
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQdBa9pT6zA

>>21997937
>most sentient beings know how to think for themselves
lol no

quoth the man who needs the church and god to tell him what to do

>>21997954
Who are you quothing?

why don't you ponder that question when you next visit sunday church and pretend you follow the scriptures

>>21998021
What question are you pondering? Why are you pretending?

who's winning

>>21994713
>WHY IS GOD TESTING ME LIKE THIS
that's a causal attribution, you're more or less consciously interpreting some things happening to you as God testing you, but if being tested that way, so to speak, makes you so mad it might help you to either come to peace with the fact that God will test you and he works in mysterious ways, or you might or renounce the idea that what's happening to you is God's test
>that wasn't about God
why would you mention him then?
>I have no idea about what I'd feel like in that situation
make an effort to imagine it then, where did your biggest satisfaction in life come from?
>this is about someone making a patronizing comment to my face and then brushing it off as irrelevant when I got offended
some people just don't know what they're talking about, either do your best to make them understand or stop associating with them

>>21998025
RCB is 156/3 but DC is yet to bat

I want to go to karaoke!

It's really so retarded to be a Christiancel in this day and age. You were born an atheist. I would wager even King Charles III in his heart is an atheist. You don't really believe it do you.

>doubt is a part of faith
>the voices singing in our ears, saying this was all folly

Cope cope cope cope. It's ok to cope. But stop fucking role playing. You don't believe in a Christian god anymore than you believe in Santa.

>>21998065
lol that's a lot of psychic beliefs you've got there

>>21996419
>do they know
yes
>is that deliberate
yes
>do they want for things that fuel their self confidence and make them feel wanted by others to happen
yes

>>21998065
The most important thing for the bourgeois is that the plebs really believes that the ruling class will stop the evil mercantilist bourgeoisie after any election, which is done by making the plebs believe that there is a ''left'' and a ''right''.
This is why btw all the mottos & slogans in the humanist elections are always about ''''''''''''change'''''''''.


This is part of the fantasy of the humanist of the '''''''''perpetual revolution''''. Those people live on their fantasy of doing revolution over & over, fighting the cops in the streets as part of the atheist ritualistic baptism, because killing theist Christians is the only thing they did in their entire history & they only lived for this, but now that christians are impotent, atheists turn inwards and start eating each other alive.
the atheists have nothing left to do & get bored, so they try to find new topics to ''''''revolutionize'''', & they emrbace NARCISSISM, ie they revolutionize the republic, peak Marxism here, which is made from the revolution on the christian society, & they just end up sayin on FB that their own atheist civil servants like the cops are evil.

there is not a single chance in hell (idiomatic) that a SINGLE 4chan user in their heart of hearts genuinely believes that a Christian God is real. If they say they do they are lying to themselves and calling it faith. They are clinging to a philosophy in an attempt to carve out an identity because existing purely in the world is terrifying, and that is understandable, but it's a self-lie. The saddest thing is that you WISH you believed. You WISH you believed the way a medieval peasant unquestioningly believed. That would be SO much easier. But you DON'T believe - even for a second. Because you know it's bullshit. You were BORN knowing it was bullshit. You are trying to undo something that can't be undone. You know too much. GIVE UP. I am NOT the devil.

>>21998094
cope

>>21998094
this culture of revolt and uprising is fed by the humanists, ie the atheist ruling class (ie oligarchs, bureaucrats, academia, entertainers, journalists), since now that 99% of the whole world is humanist with democracy this and republics that, their big idea was to do a revolution on the republic, but with the republic already being the revolution on the monarchy, this doesnt work. This is called marxism. the humanists are still hyping revolution to stay in power and intellectually being omnipresent on the political field, and entertain the plebeians of some ''change'' and doing another revolution (which again doesnt make sense, even intellectually since it is the atheists who have been in power since 1789) but this time ''the real revolution will happen'' and this time ''the people will have a voice'' and so on

You have to understand that this humanism is a religion, just like any other. It has dogmas, it has symbols, it has oppression and it has lots of hypocrisy.

So the atheist baptism is to actually revolt on the bureaucrats and their atheist cops that they sent. For the generic champagne leftist, it is really an atheist ritual to fight at least once the cops in the street of paris. For the middle class it is just venting out and breaking public shit. Again it is really fucked up because both the bureaucrats and the peasants are the same people saying the republics is awesome and there should be more bureaucrats telling people what to do and giving money to the plebs.
Humanism is just utterly fucked up.
On the cop side, the cops are eager to fuck the peasants up. They say explicit they cant wait to beat up the protestors.
Plus bureaucrats are shit at managing anything, especially a city, a country, really anything, even their bureaucracy. So lots of outcry from the roasties and twitter tards, and tactical mistakes from the cops

humanists are bored since the day they killed monarchy for good, and now they turn inward, so they hate themselves lol

>>21998094
Don't project your own lack of belief onto others.

>>21998090
You don't think the history of Christianity is not one of "revolution over and over again"? You are a literal - and I mean LITERAL - retard if you don't see how atheistic narcisism is just Christian sectarianism in a secular context.

>>21998101
>>21998103
>>21998109
Cope cope cope

>>21998103
This is pathetic and meaningless and you'll grow of it.

>>21998124
Yes piece of shit atheist think there is progress, it's their whole narrative for taking power. The truth is that Hegel is a failed scientist so he turned to word salads for the midwit bourgeois.
Hegel was a piece of shit know-it-all redditor and wanted to have a career by larping as an intellectual while not being viewed as a has-been christian scholar, so Heglel had to find a way to get people believe that his work is ''verifiable'' like a scientific work and he hopped in the secular rationalist train. A common trait of the atheists is to idolize lawyers, they think they are elite because they squeak a few random latin words in, so he became one and was acclaimed by other lawyer drones.
The best way to do this is by being an atheist, ie a guy who is obsessed with the atheist society and crams as much logic and rationalism into this atheist narcissistic analysis of the society. Heglel is the Deleuze of the french revolution. He is horrendous.

Don't forget that this piece of shit of hegel literally wanted a new religion which was popular and rational. The asshole literally said this. Like any franc mason bugman from the revolution, he was very antichristian, something very helpful to have a career, and he just swapped the one true god for the god of reason. Pure room temperature IQ. And people loved him for this. Muh I saw Napoleon today, look at me! Hegel would have made an insta story with this.

Hegel the piece shit physicist literally said there can't be any more planets that was discovered at the time. This is the power of the atheist who fucking loves science and yet suck at it. EXACTLY LIKE KANT...He was proven wrong and never touched maths and science ever again. Literally BTFO by a planet. FUCKING REKT. He never recovered. He knew he was a fraud who would never be seen as a scientist if his audience was educated, so he went full guru voodoism in front of gullible bourgeois (read germans and females).

After this mental breakdown, he wanted to systematize all this shallow hype of french revolution through the rationalist ultimate goal of unifying intellectual spooks and other dichotomies, and of course he completely failed. His whole oeuvre is a pile of bulky books full of jargon and word salads moving the goal posts all the fucking time. He was Lacan, Foucault and Derrida put together and deluding himself he was kant's true heir.
Now wonder a jew neet like Marx who fucking loves materialism and yet gets triggered by derivatives idolized this piece of shit. 100 years later all you get is this narcissistic crap about dialectical materialism and all marxists as their sole defense claiming that Marxism works but it has never been tried. ha yes very scientific, assholes.

Heraclitus was a proto-Muslim. I will not elaborate on this.

Its interesting that were past the period of people not understanding eachother everyones pretty much got a basic template for all the types of people out there now. Theres never gonna be an awkward what is a gamer conversation again for shame

>>21998129
Is this AI?

Why do people I talk to at school, at work, at parties and whatnot complain so much?
Complaining is the single most frequent thing some people do whenever in the presence of someone who would listen, be that because they want to be polite or they want to get in the complainer's, or her best friend's, pants.
The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of certain people is their face, seen from the front, slightly bent and leaning forward, a kind of smirk formed by their lips, and a sound like "that's impossible, like, you just DON'T do that stuff, because when you do it's trouble," by which I figure they must mean something along the lines of "tell me I'm right and good looking right this instant."

There are so many nice things happening to everyone.
I'm so tired of people making a display of their incompetence at dealing with everyday life.

>>21998140
Lol. Nietzsche is an atheist, so he has no fixed ''believes''. Nietzsche hates christian because christian think about the long term. Nietzsche wants to live in the present moment.

Do you know who else live in the present moment? Women.
Yeah that's right, atheism is feminism.

I will tell you everything there is to know about women, and then you can replace ''women'' with ''atheist'' in general and ''Nietzsche'' in particular.

one of the biggest red pills is the first time you realize that women experience literally no disconnect between saying X when it feels good to say X, and completely betraying and contradicting X five seconds later when it feels good to do that. women like to "try on" male-centric morals and virtues like children playing dress-up, but they don't actually know what it means to set up a virtue as an objective principle for oneself and then resist the temptation to break it in future moments when it stops being convenient and pleasant.

so if you ask a woman what kind of guy she values, she will blab on and on for hours about how noble she is and how she sees through superficiality and only wants sweet genuine men and etc., etc., etc. then five seconds later she'll completely contradict everything she said. the key thing to understand about women is that they don't perceive any difference here. from a man's perspective, you are thinking "but she said 'i only do X' and two seconds later she did 'non-X'?" this is because the fundamental modality of male consciousness is erecting principles and trying to follow them - even if you're a shitty man, it just means you're shitty and weak at erecting principles, not that the FUNDAMENTAL modality of principle-erection is absent. a woman's fundamental modality is "doing what i feel like." to a woman, that behavior is completely consistent: in the first instance, she did what she felt like. then she did what she felt like again. only a man perceives that the CONTENT of the actions was contradictory, i.e., would be contradictory if performed by a man. but for a woman whose primary stream of consciousness is "what do i want to do right now? :) perhaps i'll wear a ribbon in my hair tomorrow, tra lala!," no such contradiction occurred, or indeed is even possible.

>>21998145
It is annoying anon I agree. But it's also just the way people communicate, the thing is that it's not that deep - they are complaining but they don't really care, they are basically just complaining in order to say something. I agree that it sucks, but it is what it is.

I hope people cant be influenced to be trans by the perceived increase in social value that the presence in porn provides. Imagine how much shit can be normalized through pushing it in porn. Just look at gay men having to deal with fucking pussy with these ftm people

>>21998149
>atheism is feminism

Duh. Try harder ChatGPT.

>>21997860
>I like
why do you like it?

>>21998145
Honestly, I think modern life is basically a disaster and most people are going through life with at least low-level depression.

>>21998162
Lowkey I try not watch porn but I am only human. Why does pornhub suddenly feature tranny shit on their front page. What possible incentive does a porn website have to be woke?

>>21998094
>existing purely in the world is terrifying
Obviously, why do you think religion or faith exists at all? People are afraid of death and existentialism. This has nothing to do with personal motives or anything like that. It's just how people are motivated

People aren't motivated out of love and excitement. They're motivated out of fear of the unknown. Culture based on fear marketing and scare propaganda actually works quite effectively.
Probably coincidental or intentional, but religion captures fear effectively as well and neutralizes it

I basically can't live in a house that has alcohol.

>>21998094
kek this mf thinks he's an omniscient narrator disproving omniscient narratives

CONTARÉ HASTA TRES
Y LLAMARÉ A TU PUERTA
YO TE LLEVO
PARA QUE ME LLEVES
OH UH OH

Was extremely attracted to a teenage girl at a party today. Hard to stop myself staring

Turning 30 years old has been really hard for me.

>>21998469
Lamenting your 30s is a normie behavior

1.'Because you rejected me before my Father, I will
reject you, in Heaven.'

2.'This is the purest strain of hate.'

3. 'This is the 21st century, I'm hoping you never
wake up.'

4. 'This is hatred at it's finest.'

5. 'I'll show you God.'
6. 'There is no God, except God.'

I have no reality. I'm unreal? I'm now pro-genocide.
People like me, downtrodden, never deserved to live. In fact, we should die, because of the immense threat to the world and the resources we are wasting, along with our evil moment, that will never be okay, no matter how much is thrown at. So, we have a view to misogyny. And yet, I am the woman? I'm not a man, as it is. I except it all. This makes way for a datum humanitas. Notice this. There is such a thing as euthanasia and it's simpleton. Hair is wrong color. Blood is not same type. Religion now does need to exist, as a function of Absolute Spirit or Mind. You should have seen this coming, woman were born to be fucked. I'm one. So it is, that either I'm not and should die because I'm wasteful and hateful towards the objectified Spirit, or that I'm oppressed beyond words, capable of genocide. My wages nonetheless burn, and this is a natural sentence, yet how can it be, if it's truly the lie. Did you think I was not acceptable? Not capable of life? A traumatized individual is taken out to be hurt by others with no sympathy. It is rather right qua compassion qua mercy. Yet there is no mercy. So to take, my self, compassionate? I now show none. That is not acceptable, because you are ignorant in your sin. And no amount of therapy will change this anatomical fact qua the right for trans children to be accepted and treated. This is blood, and the blood is of empathy and humanity. And yet, that does pit one against the other in like mindedness. A human does deserve this death of evil. It appears my virtue does not lie in those channels, to be ran over. Quickly.. Obituary now does follow what? The threat of holiness, or spite. Against the greater evil. Yet, that is the question of this diatribe...

>romance
My 30th birthday is tomorrow. I am going to go to a sex shop with my wife and get some birthday toys.
>now
High school tennis, when played in a state with 9 months of winter, is the more boring shit I have ever seen. I gave up on watching and went back to my bus to read (I am the driver).

>>21998094
18 to post
you have not read a page of philosophy or had a critical thought in your life

>>21998173
how fucking retarded can you be? business don't do things because they're woke, they do "woke" looking things because it makes money

>>21998645
This is not always true, sometimes the workers or management are all ideologically minded enough to push an agenda in spite of profitability

I cant stop feeling depressed about how horrible my first year of university was. I ended up so isolated and alienated. I was so miserable and unhappy. And it killed me to be living on a campus which had 20,000 students and being so alone the whole time. It hurts because everyone around me was so happy while I suffered. I feel like I missed out on a great time. And the worse part is that it toally fucked up me and my life. I used to have so many interests and so many aspirations, but that year crushed all the life out of me. I dropped out and the direction of my life took a massive nose dive. It's been a major struggle since. That was 6 years ago, but I brood about it every single day. I wake up and it's the first thing I think about. I cant make that miserable feeling in my gut go away. It really isnt fair. All these bad circumstances stacked and it just fucked me up hard

>>21998594
Is jax still on discord?

>>21997793
>religion is a series of observations about reality
Very insightful.

>>21998779
You still have time to correct it all, dude. Feel bad when you’re in your thirties like I am. Then you really can’t go back and fix shit.

>>21998094
I will never understand the insistence of atheists in telling believers that they don't actually believe. It's just so weird. Then you come up with these weird mental gymnastics to say belief isnt ACKSHUALLY belief, and that somehow you know the total contents of a stranger's mind.
I don't think you're actually an atheist. You believe there is a God, but you're scared of what that actually implies so you actively rebel against him by consuming shitty philosophy to cope with your enduring faith.

>>21998525
It’s not being in my 30s that bothers me. It’s how the 20s were that bothers me. How your 20s go matters a lot for your possibilities in your 30s.

>>21998817
I am fixing it, but the misery of that year and the ones that follwoed, the hard limitinf of my total potential, and the sheer waste of life and time really fucks with me.

I'm so touch starved it's unreal.
A girl brushes my shoulder on public transit? Instant boner. Female coworker's arm brushes mine for half a second while at work? Fantasize about an entire life with her. Girl taps my arm at the gym to ask if I'm done with the rack? Think about how it felt for the next week.

>>21998855
>doesn't have a hobby or something else to focus on
Jesus man.

I have noticed that people tend to grow up pretty much the way they began; and hidden somewhere inside every bluff or quiet man and woman I know, I think, is the fully formed, but uncompleted, little boy or girl that once was and will always remain as it always has been, suspended lonesomely inside its own past, waiting hopefully, vainly, to resume, longing insatiably for company, pining desolately for that time to come when it will be safe and sane and possible to burst outside exuberantly, stretch its arms, fill its lungs with invigorating air, without fear at last, and call:
"Hey! Here I am. Couldn't you find me? Can't we be together now?"

>>21998876
pedophile detected

>>21998855
I've completely transcended this need by ingesting copious amounts of codeine daily
nah just kidding, I hug my male friends constantly

>>21998855
jerk off and find something to occupy your mind. Whores do not deserve a dreamer type of man

>>21998779
"It's a strange world. Some people get rich, others eat shit and die."

>>21998817
Life isn't over until you die man. All this "x year marks the point of no return" is just cope. One of my fathers friends did heroin and petty crime until he was 45, then cleaned up, and now owns a small business selling furniture he makes by hand, which was a passion of his for the longest time.
Would it have been better if he didn't spend 30 years chasing the dragon? Sure. Does that mean all is lost? No.

EVERYONE PAUSE YOUR RACISM

RACISM TRUCE FOR 5 MINUTES

LISTEN TO THIS SONG:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMSu4BZQfIg

>>21998795
you forgot the part where it is philosophically and psychologically a retarded cope with the mortality of being and search for meaning

>>21998871
I do. It doesn't help. I have a very technical and time-consuming career. It doesn't help either.

>>21998847
There’s no hard limit. By the time you’re my age you’ll realize that one year nothing. You can recover. You just have to do it. I’m 30, 6 years out from a Bachelor’s degree and I basically feel like it’s over for me, but I’m totally confident that you’re not in dire straits after a singe year at college.

>>21998958
There isn't any racism anymore. David Guetta solved racism in 2020.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5ZgEtgxxg0&pp=ygUaZGF2aWQgZ3VldHRhIHNvbHZlcyByYWNpc20%3D

>>21998971
You have this weird assertion that if someone finds meaning in a statment of reality that the statement cannot be true. The degree to which something is comforting (or not) is not related to its truth value.

>>21998984
You an engineer or something?

>>21999016
if i tell you i'm a big bearded omnipotent being and that i will bless you for life and you believe it does that make me a god?

>>21999013
hey, that isn't the real version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEI7oX0XxJw

>>21999021
I'm in a somewhat niche career field in the military. The combination of military bullshit (deployments, CTCs, no fixed working hours, etc) and the intricacies of my job means that I'm thinking about or involved with work almost 24/7 except for a couple weeks of leave a year.

>>21999029
If you were capable of time travel, yes

>>21999052
well butter your biscuits and call me your sky daddy worm

>>21999029
If I tell you that believing in God makes you a pussy and you believe me, does that make atheism true?

>>21999064
anon, do you plan to go to heaven after you die and live alongside god because you behaved like a good boy in life, is that the motivating cause for you to "behave good" and is the threat of hell the only thing keeping you from acting like a baboon on cocaine?
then you might be slightly retarded, gullible or just desperate to cope with your own mortality and indeed being a fucking pussy to not just accept that one day you like everyone before you will die and return to dirt to the same state you were at before you could perceive things, get over it you puss puss

>>21999058
As long as I get to use the time machine sure

>>21999082
no time machine for you, suffer with the choices you made and grow for them

>>21999078
A system of ethics is an explanation of reality, so we go back to my prior question which you refused to answer >>21999016 here. I will assume you have no answer to the question

>>21999090
Hey, sounds like religion!

>>21999092
that's because you come from a foundation of "god is real and my faith will be rewarded" baseline, if you could perceive outside opinions without it jeopardizing your entire belief system you would understand why people like you should stay in your church and church communities because you're tranny tier fragile about your identity as a part of a group and a zealous belief that you are right despite ad populum saying that you're a retarded coward for coping with religion
we won't see eye to eye on this topic and we were never meant to, let it be and return to faith while you have it
>>21999095
i'm not going to be your cult leader, why the fuck would i want to corral around a bunch of drones that will eat anything i spit on their plate

>>21999111
>not going to be a cult leader
Then you obviously are not a time traveller

>>21999111
The concept of God makes you feel powerless so you cope by accepting atheism because it gives you a feeling of control.

>>21999115
lets assume that you would be a nyarlathotep for a day with same powers but your current personality, what would motivate you to form a cult, why would you need followers or anyone else?

>>21999125
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behold_the_Man_(novel)

I am an
>Antinatalist
>Pessimist
>Physicalist
>Hard-determinist
>Hedonist
>Nihilist
What are you?

>>21999123
>the concept of a omnipotent uncaring behemot power house makes you feel powerless so you cope by pretending they don't exist
i've read lovecraftian lore and i have already come to terms with my own mortality without the crutches of religion that tells me i won't actually die and will live on as a soul
why do you think religion is so globally beloved when it offers a afterlife? because that's the entire hook in religion, stop talking to atheists online, go live with your christian community and embrace your religion in a way that suits you
why are you even debating with people you know don't agree with you, you're clearly not looking for any kind of truth you don't already believe in, neither am i i am just telling you that in my eyes you're a moron who can't cope with mortality
simple as
>>21999138
free

>>21999140
>free
Atheist physicalist, judging by your replies.
Based.

>>21999138
Not retarded like you, that's for sure.

>The word Minnesota comes from the Dakota[16] name for the Minnesota River, which got its name from one of two words in Dakota: "mní sóta", which means "clear blue water",[17][18] or "Mníssota", which means "cloudy water".[19][20]
Wait what? Is it clear or cloudy?

>>21999154

>>21999140
>i've read lovecraftian lore

>>21999140
Why do you argue with the religious online? Clearly you're motivated by resentment towards God and attack him by proxy through these arguments. Deep down (or maybe not that deep) you believe in God and are terrified of immortality so you cope by telling yourself that accepting death makes you big and strong. You feel big and strong, little guy? You're a big boy atheist!

>the bugmen found the comfy thread
it's over

>>21999177
You will wear the bug helmet

>>21999173
HES JUST A LITTLE GUY

I felt a very unique type of misery when I was 14 years old. Many times I've tried to undermine and diminish what I felt back then, but after so many years of subsequent, stronger, more insidious brands of misery, the memories of my middle school years still linger on my mind.

I don't think there's been a day in which I don't have a thought about it. Some bitter recollection, painful memory, deep seated regret, revenge fantasy. I look back on those years and I feel like I've been cheated out of what should have been an adventure, a stage of evolution towards something good. But instead I was twisted into something broken and sick.

I lived in a strange, hostile world that I couldn't understand. I was little more than a combination of my parents' neuroses, confusion, fear, and an intense urge to be liked and accepted: an alien trying to learn how to act like a person, how to defend against all the unexplainable spite I kept facing everywhere I went.

One day I managed to articulate all my pain as succinctly as I could and I wrote this on a page of a math book:
"They hate me. Why? What have I ever done to deserve this?"
I immediately scribbled over it, feeling a burning shame as if an invisible malignant entity had seen it and was planning to use it against me.

I am no longer that person, but he's still there somewhere in the back of my mind. Alone, hurting, still making himself that question over and over again, still informing to some extent my decisions on my day to day, as if reaching out from the past to the present seeking help. I have yet to find a way to kill him.

>>21999152
>ahteist physicalist
i wish, i'm actually some pseudo buddhist who believes in reincarnation of spirit but wants to make sure he dies when he actually dies
>>21999168
>you have a reference point that is populist and widely understood? cringe~
ok boomer
>>21999173
>why do you tell retards that they're retards, i will now demonstrate that i actually believe a omnipotent being would give a shit about me enough to share immortality with me, i-i'm not afraid to die you are afraid of my faith!
ok boomer

>>21994559
I feel like i was too sheltered as a child and consequently now am incapable of doing anything.
The only place I feel safe is in my room with my laptop. The outside world is scary and dangerous.
I hate that I am such a child. I'm 23 years old and still look & act like a little kid.
I try to puff myself up sometimes to try and make myself seem cooler and bigger, but I don't fool anyone.
I feel boxed in. Like I could go into that restaurant but im too much of a pussy to even go into a new place. I've never been to a bar. It feels off limits. Everything is off limits.
Anywhere I go i feel like that. In the city there are so many sites and sounds i feel overwhelmed. You are surrounded by strange people you don't know that can all hurt you. Everyone is a stranger to me.
Yet in the country i become paranoid in the silence, and hate the awareness of being known. The eyes that watch are not disinterested. None of the freedom of anonimity of the city. And there is nowhere to go.
Not happy with how my life has turned out so far. Recently i was looking through old family photos and reading some old family docs.
Every photo of me even at a young age I look dour and set apart somehow. Withdrawn. I was a lonely clumsy and ridiculous kid. And every photo of my brother he is smiling having a good time. While i am off to the side Flicking through the photos i had a feeling that I am always going to be in his shadow no matter what. Even if i achieve some kind of success it won't be enough, I won't be him.
In a old family annual letter, the kind sent out to everyone, my Dad describes my brother as continually talking about how he's going to be a big movie star when he grows up. And all he had to say about me was that I was a good helper helping out with chores.
Even at a young age you could tell he was going to be someone big, while i was destined for obscurity.

Listen to this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uu4rqab3WQ

Assuming 4chan will still be around in 40 years, I'm very curious as to how the boards will transform once we have a sizeable population of older adults.
I'm thinking of lengthy suicide notes (maybe even a suicide general), people torn between being extremely entrenched in belief systems and total absolute disillusionment/nihilism, lots of crying and relief over how it will all be soon over, dementiaposting.
You can argue that that's how it goes these days, but you can tell that there's a certain youthfulness to this place. So many of us have lived so little, all of us blind to the ways time will twist and transform us.
Post after post on cancers and terminal diseases, suicides, accomplishments and regrets of a lifetime. I hope this place is still around to document the insanity and decay of its userbase.

>>21999189
How old are you now?

I've been thinking of compiling everything I thought I knew throughout my life and contrasting it against the experiences of random strangers on the internet. I recently learned that I don't know how washing machines work. I always thought the main wash cup was the one with the roman symbol for one but apparently it was the one for two. So I've been trying to stay mindful of my surroundings and constantly running questions like "What actually happens when you twist the oven knob" and "Should I really be sweeping like this" through my head in preparation.

I'm not depressed. I'm employed.

what's the difference

It just hit me how deeply depressed I am and just how hopeless I feel.

>>21999286
I hate the song, anon.

>>21998841
It really only matters as much as you want it to. I was basically a drifter for most of my 20s, I would work seasonal jobs in hotels and ski resorts and stuff and just kinda bum around between them. And now I'm married, I have a house and a kid and a job that I actually like. Don't waste your time on regret, most of the time it's only going to be an obstacle

>>21999350
Main wash cup? I just toss my detergent in the tub with my clothes

>https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2023/05/03/dean-koontz/

>>21999671
What I would say to that is even being a drifter is sort of an interesting life. It’s still something, as opposed to nothing. And while I also want a good job and a wife and a kid and a house, that’s not my ultimate ambition in life. I agree with what you’re saying about regret being an obstacle, but what if some obstacles are real and insurmountable?

>think I'm a good writer
>read actually good writers
>realize I should kill myself

>>21999223
I'm you but 31 and worse. And it gets a lot worse. Here's a joke, I'm envious of your youth but only so I could have more of a buffer to languish in idleness, the world will close in around you as you get older and eventually you'll be forced to look it in the eye. It hasn't happened to me yet but the day isn't far off. Maybe I could have done it a decade ago, but now I actually have reasons to be ashamed and diffident. You'll note I don't actually enjoy all this nothing which I busy myself with, but it's all I know and the externality of anything else is deeply unnatural. I have no better reason for my predicament. There must be some essential something that compels others to participate and take an interest in not only the world but themselves, I lack this. If I speak the words are false, if I do something it's so I can stop, if express a thought in any way to anyone it is abstracted and othered, and only ever a means to an end. I don't think I've ever once tried to do something I wanted, and I can no longer remember what it's like to want, the best way I can explain something so incredulous is I have no expectation of reward in anything, even hypotheticals, it's all just alien and apart. I think I will kill myself once I've finally run out of lies and excuses.

Maybe you can learn from my example. The best wisdom I have is that reason for its sake is worthless and risk is its own reward for a human, humans are meant to manifest their wills, or else they become something else as I did.

oh please, why the fuck do you people think anyone gives a shit about your pity party of "oh i could have sold my time for bigger dime" bullshit, your bosses don't care and neither does anyone else whoring their hours away for a pittance and the people who actually get motivating pay will just think you're a loser and laugh
either get your shit together or don't, no one gives a fuck about "woe is me, i lost my chance to make it", sell drugs or some shit you whiny penny chaser or get work that has union supporting you, become a freelancer or start a company

>>21994559
Not romance, but i find this story idea cool
"A guy leads a normal life, with work, friends, a 3-year relationship, family, and throughout his daily routine, he experiences several "hallucinations", the halucinations being the fabric of reality breaking around him (like a glitch). When he talks to anyone about it, they all say it's nothing and just his imagination. One day, the Guy arranged a dinner at the new house he bought for him and his girlfriend to live together. The house had a TV inside, and while they were having dinner, he turned on the TV, but there were no channels. He searched for channels for about 10 minutes, and finally, a channel appeared. It was broadcasting news about a plane crash that had occurred and had hit a house identical to his own. He freaked out, and the screen quickly changed. His girlfriend was worried and tried to comfort him. The next day, early in the morning, he turned on the TV, and the morning news intro started playing, like normal TV. His girlfriend walked out of the room yawning, and the TV turned off. He turned the TV back on, the news intro played, the news cast was saying the exact same thing, and his girlfriend was no longer beside him. The door to the room opened, and she walked out in the same way, and the TV turned off again. The world was looping around him, the Guy tried breaking a vase to see what could happen, he broke it, his girlfriend screamed at him, he pushed her down, the TV turns off, the vase is intact, his girlfriend walks out of the bedroom again yawning the exact same way. The world was looping around him."

>>21999838
Do you spend a lot of time on tech?

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
Andy Bernard

>>21994559
just stared at a clock for an hour

>>21999838
>If I speak the words are false, if I do something it's so I can stop, if express a thought in any way to anyone it is abstracted and othered, and only ever a means to an end. I don't think I've ever once tried to do something I wanted, and I can no longer remember what it's like to want, the best way I can explain something so incredulous is I have no expectation of reward in anything
You sound just like me. I have the same thing with overly abstract thinking. Like sometimes I even find myself thinking about myself in the 3rd person or avoiding the use of "I" in my writing. And i have terrible short term memory about what I do because I basically do nothing so days blend together.
I also find it hard to love or hate anyone.
The abstract language i think comes from a feeling that it's not safe to ever directly express my feelings. Which I'm guessing i learned from my parents.

I feel like it's my past, my need to keep my current actions congruent with my personal narrative/story that keeps me in this cycle of ennui. What seems to help is actually forgetting myself, but not in a detached numbing way, but in a literally forgetting my story and past, and acting as if I were born today. Immediately I feel encouraged to take actions and drastic changes. It seems it is a life of paranoid lessons taught to me by my mistakes and my family that keep me like this. I would like to question these but they don't even seem to exist as anything tangibly distinct, only a feeling, an unconscious atmosphere that I can't see out of. If I can't see a logical path out of this darkness, then perhaps the solution is to wipe the slate clean, tabula rasa, and start over (of course with the lessons my logical, ordered mind has retained)

I have a curious anxiety towards doing anything that could result in life change. I want out of this lifestyle, and I have options abound to do so, but whenever I entertain the thought, I end up wanting nothing but to entertain myself with some media or distraction. I guess change is scary, perhaps because I lack confidence in my decision making. I suppose the answer is to have faith in my decisions, (while still being thorough and not make decisions I know are stupid) and take repeated "leaps of faith" until I develop the confidence or adaptations that will make this sort of problem a non-issue. It's another case of stress-aversion leading to misery. I've known that this always goes this way when I avoid stressful situations, and the best moments of my life have always resulted from facing a stressful yet meaningful opportunity head on. I've been reading about how the reason why it's so hard to quit pornography is because of ingrained values in us that tell us porn is a good thing that benefits us, that to deny ourselves this is foolish. I wonder if this is the same with stress and the entertainment we are given; we are taught to "ease our stress, our problems with x product", we are taught that stress is a bad thing that must be eradicated at all costs. The answer then seems to not look at stress as bad or good or representing anything about our life situation, it is only a function of problems and consequences. Problems and consequences should not be shunned or feared, the same way thoughts of death and failure should not be shunned but rather be came to terms with. At this moment I want to complain about grown, 30+ adults I see on social media respond to some distressing news with: "I want to think happy thoughts... retweet furbaby tweet" This aversion to cruel realities disgusts me, and I am thinking if it exists in me in some form. I guess the plan now is to do the things I know will help me regardless of the stress it will give me. "The truth will set you free"
I only hope this will be the time I commit fully and not return to the numbing ennui. A visualization of leaping off the edge of a cliff is the common accompaniment to this line of thinking.

>>21999937
You make them your good ol days.
Get some friends, anon.

>>21999286
bad kareoke

Next thread coming through

>>22000357
>>22000357
>>22000357