/lit/ - Literature

Its too late now.

A few days back, as I sat down with my cup of coffee, browsing the latest news articles, one headline in particular caught my attention. It detailed the story of a young woman, merely 19 years of age, who was facing a staggering 10-year prison sentence for alleged bestiality with her own dog. The charge? Cruelty. Yet, as I continued to read through the article, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and close out of it.

The main argument surrounding the topic of bestiality has always left me perplexed. How can one construe a woman letting something that readily eats their own feces and engages in mating activities without reservation, mount her, as abusive or cruel? To me, it appears that those who oppose bestiality are purposefully being disingenuous in their arguments.

Even when only considering cases involving household pets, such as dogs, and excluding the contentious issue of animal agriculture, where cows are repeatedly forcibly impregnated until they are killed, the notion of cruelty is just as puzzling. It is astonishing to observe that it is legally permissible for individuals to repeatedly and sometimes forcefully impregnate dogs, sometimes with the intention of producing offspring with birth defects. In light of such practices, the allegation of cruelty from the legal system becomes almost comical.

The notion of "consent" is often raised in discussions surrounding bestiality, but I find this argument to be mere distraction, a red herring used by individuals attempting to rationalize their emotional responses. After all, when has anyone truly cared about an animal's consent in any other context? The focus on consent in the context of bestiality seems misplaced and unwarranted, and does not merit serious consideration in my opinion. Animals are property.

On one last final note, if it is not apparent enough, it becomes even more so when you take into account that the purported concern for the well-being of animals in cases of bestiality is incongruous with the reality that the animals who are the alleged victims of such acts are often euthanized. This incongruity underscores the fact that these laws are not truly aimed at safeguarding the welfare of animals, but rather at appeasing people's emotional responses towards matters of sexual conduct.

>>21927041
Do you figure he "rawdogged" her?

>>21927041
It's not about cruelty to the animal, it's about cruelty to God, nature, and all things decent.

>>21927020
Every time I get laid I’m flabbergasted by the triviality of the act. The sensation of sticking it in is great, but after a minute or so I’d rather be reading or shitposting. Raw creampie is the only redeeming feature (until it gets repetitive and boring, like everything else). Condom sex is unironically worse than a fap session.

Evidence suggests ethicists don't behave morally different from their non-ethicist peers.

I recently heard, not for the first time, that most people are put off by you seeming too enthusiastic in a conversation. Is this true? This is always distressing when I hear it. Do normalfags really have such an allergy to genuine passion and emotion?

I might have serious poblems with drinking.

I just want to be like pic rel, or Greg Egan. I want to sell a couple million copies of my books, have a wikipedia page that doesn't list any personal information, and be able to live my life without being noticed.

>>21927174
Yes, absolutely. It's just instinctive

I think they figure if you were truly passionate about something, you would come off as disinterested or aloof. Being an eager beaver doesn't tend to mesh well

>>21927184
I might get something done later

>>21927174
They do, at least some of them. Being overexcited makes it seem like you are sucking up to them for hidden reasons. To be fair though, the people who would think that about you aren't worth it, seeing as others would just find your giddiness to be charming.
I remember some girls from my job finding me weird because I asked what they were cooking for dinner later. Meanwhile, other girls thought it normal and cute.
What I am saying here is, if people really want to dislike you they will find a reason anyway so just do whatever.

>>21927198
I might do just that.

>>21927206
Yeah fuck it. Some people think paradoxically and will call you a yes-man or a 'nice guy' just for basic politeness. Others are down low and will guaranteed find some way to talk shit about you so just do whatever

And that being said,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELWXfj5rqnI

>>21927041
You should be executed

>>21927020
Im telling you guys, as I got older, I realised that women overall just have this nature in them to want to control things. The problem is, although they can get control very easily they more often than not aren't very responsible with it. Or they misuse it that it leads to destruction, most of the times without even meaning or intending to. Eg. Being accepting of things that are blatantly wrong to gain favor.

It always starts in the homes, where they destroy the husband by making him a weaker (simp) version of himself just to survive her (remember that silly "happy wife happy life" motto that basically implies to give in to her for everything which then often backfires long term), or he ends up leaving. Then they have free reign to impose their nature onto their kids and control them in some way. Sometimes it's done covertly, through excess coddling which they claim is "love" but then destroys the kids long term as it leaves them unprepared. Or they impose their own traumas, neurosis, complaints about other people (like their father) onto the kids which they then start to identify with passively. Then the cycle continues where the daughters become like her by being controlling with future partners and kids, and the sons either become straight up incels or end up marry women like her who weakens them which stops them from protecting their kids as they should from her. Both sons/daughters thinking it's the normal way to be.

>>21927400
Cont.

Seems to be the reason why a lot of issues in society stem from absentee father's or weak father's. I feel there really needs to be a balance of energies. Women need to be self aware of their nature and give up this controlling nature and men need to be strong enough to be able to HANDLE that nature so that it doesn't ruin their kids and protect them from it.


Seems to be why women are the more neurotic, anxiety ridden types. It all stems from wanting to control things, or not being able to control things

What do you think?

>>21927404

Yeah pretty accurate. I suffered one of the mothers.

Sex is a foreign concept to me.

>>21927041
You are 100% right, that's why there are 0 counter arguments presented

>>21927020
Sex is fun but have you tried very very very good burgers? And when cats actually comes to you when you pspspspsps them

>>21927041
What she's doing is nasty but I would personally put her in jail for maybe 1 year maximum. She needs to be institutionalize for what she did. I think 10 years is too much.

>>21927400
>>21927404
>>21927420
Agreed, that’s what happened in my family and seems to be very common nowadays.

>>21927404
I think we are too far gone, women know, either consciously or unconsciously that the government and non-government organizations will back whatever they do and what ever they want. The FBI is now tagging MGTOW and the Manosphere groups as terror groups, they are actively filtering for words like Chad, Stacey, and based. While I don't think that its over, they obviously want to enforce their gynocentric onto the culture.
I don't really understand their game, I thought that most big government thought that immigration regardless of legality was a good thing? I don't see why they are worrying about the birth rate when they could just import more immigrants. They were so quick to want to replace the native population but they are no pissed that they are replacing the native population? Maybe its a "Hydra's many heads" problem, but its obvious that they are going to try to force men into accepting not being able to afford anything and accept being a 2nd class citizen while also supporting the society. Which a lot of men don't want to do, hence why there are 7 billion men between the ages of 24 to 54 who just left the job market and are doing nothing more than staying at home watching tv or surfing the internet.

>>21927420
>>21927475
>>21927490

It's interesting how you can trace a lot of people's or societies problems to it.
whether it's suicides, sluts with "daddy issues", transgenders, incels, school shooter types. It's almost always rooted to controlling women who imposed their nature onto them due to no father or weakened fathers who couldn't protect them. Or women accepting and promoting this weakened state of other people.

Eg. Every guy deep down knows trannies are ridiculous yet women mostly accept it because they don't want to be "mean" which in itself is a way to control being favoured or not. Then guys who accept trannies only do so because they want brownie points from women who accept transgenderism. Another example of how they get easy control but don't use it wisely which is to tell the truth.

It's funny too how women say they dress up or do their makeup "just for themselves" which is false or else they would do it just at home. The idea is that deep down it rooted to another form to control how other people perceive them. They deep down enjoy the control they have of men who silently (or explicitly) notice them.

But I dunno, it's all so weird. But what exactly is the solution?

>>21927647
>g. Every guy deep down knows trannies are ridiculous yet women mostly accept it because they don't want to be "mean" which in itself is a way to control being favoured or not. Then guys who accept trannies only do so because they want brownie points from women who accept transgenderism. Another example of how they get easy control but don't use it wisely which is to tell the truth.
Women tend to want to be in groups more than men, their hormones and their physically smaller frames mean that they are psychologically way more likely to form into groups, specifically groups that benefit them because Women are evolutionarily more concerned with the accumulation and preservation of the resources they have for kids. Because women are inherently social this creates a lot of weird dynamics in the group, there is a podcast by Chris Williamson that explains some of the reasons for what you are seeing and why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5w0sALvppU
>It's funny too how women say they dress up or do their makeup "just for themselves" which is false or else they would do it just at home.
They do it for both themselves and to attract someone. Women, mainly, use flower tactics to attract men. Its why they get flattered when you compliment their face and bodies, they then are validated that they are pretty and they know what they are doing is working. Men do the same thing with working out in general. Both Men and Women will enforce standards onto other Men and Women that comes from the misconception of what they think the opposite sex wants, mainly because the opposite sex is either not straightfoward with what they want or for an ideological/cultural reason.
There is a really good example in Islam about this with women. Originally, the Quran says women should cover themselves, it says nothing about how much or a veil. I think it does mention a veil later but its debated if the veil is optional or not. My point being is that the Quran doesn't explicitly order anything more than "cover your women.". The reason why you everything from hijab, to hijab and scarf, all the way up to fully covered was due to the women within Islam itself. Women in that society wanted a man and they knew that their piety would attract a man but also give them social status. What happens is a female arms race as women covered up more and more over time to garner more piety to signal their attractiveness. This also ended up awarding them more power socially as they are seen as more pious than women who didn't cover as much, creating a "social aristocracy" where they could then look down upon other women who didn't cover up as much. And it basically continued to the point where you see women who don't even show their face.
>But what exactly is the solution?
I have no idea, but it won't be anything violent. I've always admired hermits and recluses so I'm probably just gonna dip out of society and retire extremely early.

Yesterday I went to a remote place in a forested area with a dammed lake to knap glass in peace. I chose this specific place because the only people who go there are fishermen. I parked the car in front of the entrance of what used to be a holiday house for students and started working on an arrowhead. In a couple of hours a car stopped right behind me and honked. I went in my car to move it, as it was apparent the other person wanted to get inside. As I was starting my car, I saw a woman get out of the other car, so I lowered my window and she asked me "Do you speak english? I live here.". I barely got a "yes" out of me, I was so flabbergasted as this was the last place I was expected somebody to live and in addition to that - a foreigner. She said she saw me working with antlers and glass and invited me for a tea, because I looked "alternative and into nature". I let her proceed with her car and in 10 minutes it started raining, so I went inside myself.

Two dogs kept barking at me, and they got really agressive when she came out; one of them, which howled like a jackal at times, almost bit me. She showed me around, there was land that she used for growing vegetables, a couple of large buildings that she had started renovating with random people, when there were other people there. When we went to her room for some tea, she said she's from Belgium and has lived here for the past 9 years. She was into self-sustaining land management, construction of structures out of natural materials and so on, that's what her PhD was about. I myself want to buy a house in this area so I can dedicate my life to working on something that will last. So we talked for a couple of hours and I left. She was very sweet I wish her all the best. I'll visit her in the near future.

>>21927400
My mom has ruined the lives of me and all my siblings with her domineering psychosis. Is it any wonder I'm a 32 year old virgin who lives at home? I was never allowed to be anything else.

>>21927692
Sounds like a lovely day Anon, you might even make a friend there.

>>21927693
That's the exact thing I'm talking about and I'm sure a lot of people who end up on this site had similar experiences. Sure these women think what they're doing is the right thing but it almost always leads to suffering.

What's that saying? A road to hell is paved with good intentions. That's exactly what a woman's controlling nature leads to. Even working with women can be a nightmare, they get a promotion and take that power as "do as I say, just because I'm the boss now" and if you challenge it or show them another way that is more efficient they will bully or HR you. And what's that other HR stereotype, they're all in that role because they enjoy the control aspect of it.

>>21927707
Cont.

It almost makes sense seeing that because they are smaller and weaker naturally, they have to self preserve in other ways, which is psychological control, whether it's manipulating others low key even in a "positive" manner or agreeing with things that are false to be with the safety of the group.

>>21927703
Indeed, she knows her area pretty damn good as well. I have thought about doing field surveys in that region to register archaeological sites and she knows several. She even showed me a couple fragments from marble figurines, most likely from the Roman period.

>>21927020
I'm halfway through college and its just starting to really dawn on me that zoomers are actually mentally disabled. Covid lockdowns and over socialization broke what little personality they had. Just dull annoying people repeating twitter talking points while remaining disengaged completely from any real conversation within the classroom. At this point i dont think its even worth it to continue towards grad school. At least the retards i'm dealing with now aren't up their own ass.

>>21927707
I wasn't allowed to go outside alone until high school and every time before I left through the door I'd get a list of demands and checks, if I had my phone, if I ate, etc... I didn't realize how much this sort of thing stressed me out until once my mother was taking a sick day and she was still sleeping while I left. Not having to be confronted before opening the door like that was such a weird and overwhelming relief. At that point I also understood half the reason I never went outside except to go to school was to avoid this kind of confrontational check. It probably sounds stupid but I'm for lack of a better word afraid and ashamed to have to explain myself if I were to try and do something, so I just don't.

I still don't go outside or talk to anyone or do anything, and haven't for over a decade since I dropped out of college. I once made a brief comment about our neighbor's son joining the military (I mentioned he's the same age as me) and she became hysterical at the shadow of the suggestion explaining how he's a loser and unintelligent and ungrateful and hurting his family.

I'm reminded of Brave New World. Of how the construction workers are incubated upside down, at hot temperatures, or high up to acclimate them for their future and inevitable professions.

I like this Wojak because it doesn't make eye contact just like me.

>>21927727
Jesus fucking christ.

>>21927727
I'm looking at you anon

Things are finally starting to feel normal. I feel at place

>>21927020
I think I'm pretty content being my own best friend, its not worth making connections with other people. I like me because I don't disagree with me and I really love to hear myself talk, I have such a dignified voice. the hell with other people, I'm a great dude.

>>21927020
Peepeepoopoo

>>21927727
>I didn't realize how much this sort of thing stressed me out until once my mother was taking a sick day and she was still sleeping while I left. Not having to be confronted before opening the door like that was such a weird and overwhelming relief. At that point I also understood half the reason I never went outside except to go to school was to avoid this kind of confrontational check. It probably sounds stupid but I'm for lack of a better word afraid and ashamed to have to explain myself if I were to try and do something, so I just don't.
>I still don't go outside or talk to anyone or do anything, and haven't for over a decade since I dropped out of college.

Fuck, are you me, I went through the exact same thing that it jsut really became a nuisance and embarrassing with friends that I just stopped. Even now at 33 if I'm just going out she will ask where I'm going even though I barely go anywhere since I don't have friends anymore, nor have I had friends in over a decade.

It was sso embarrassing one time I just went to drop off eBay packages I sold, she was in he room and mustve heard me start my car and just had to go out in her dressing gown asking me where I was going. Like what the actual fuck. You don't realise it and people might think it's small or nothing, but having these "small things" constantly done actually builds up and kills you little by little. Even driving with her in the car is so frustrating becusse she projects all her neurotic tendencies onto whoever's driving. Even when I first got my license my dad didn't mind me driving but when she was around she would always make comments like "you don't have much experience" which slowly kills your confidence. And before I knew it my driving capabilities suffered where I only drive very locally and get very paranoid about parking

I don't even know what to do. People will say just move out but I literally don't know how or what steps to take. And it feels embarassing how TF I'm going to be a completely noob talking to a landlord or whatever to organise this now having ever done it before at the age of 33

I don't even have a job ATM because I wasn't prepared and only worked a min wage job. I know it's my fault ultimately for not preparing myself but at the same time I didn't know that the goal was to get away from my mother/parents as I didn't see them as a negative force in my life. They literally didn't think it was weird I didn't go out much or they I didn't have a social life or have things in order.

It's interesting now I mention it because it's the exact same dynamic in my aunties family, where all the kids left yet I have one cousin who kind of ended up like me (well me ending up like him) back in the day I felt sorry for him but didn't realise my mother was doing the exact same thing to me.

>>21927784
I honestly feel so weird at the idea of getting a job again because I'm 33 and I know new coworkers will find out I still live at home and find out again I have no social life. On top of that I'm 33 and have no real skills since I worked a min wagie retail job for 7 years.

My old coworkers im sure picked up on it or didn't care about me living from home because I was working there formwhen I was 25 so they were the closest things to friends to me. But now I'm older and still in the same position seems like it's worse

> start reading voraciously at 26
> start writing at 30
Now, I can’t help but feel it was over before it ever even started.

>>21927795
It feels like the potential for any path you take is severely lowered if you take it after 30 regardless. All of the greats get on theirs before 30.

>>21927784
Moving out is easy. You find apartment listings online, you ask them for a quick tour if it’s nearby or a video tour if it’s not, you go look at for 15 minutes and ask about the rent, the utility cost, laundry facilities, parking, what kind of people live near by, and what they available lease term is. That’s it really.

I don't want to offer specific details about my life but I will say that I am in very deep in a certain situation and the cognitive dissonance I've been feeling, as a result of the contrast of the aggregate feeling -- of being unable to distinguish the difference between false hope and genuine belief -- and the feeling that I'm heading down the wrong path, has been tearing me apart, slowly, piece by piece. But it's also made me calloused, and there's beauty to be found in it

>>21927800
>All of the greats get on theirs before 30.
Untrue doomer crap

>>21927819
It’s not like I want to believe this, but it seems like fate is real and it typically intervenes relatively early. If you can identify a single person who didn’t I’ll admit I’m wrong.

I dig my own grave and now I'm unable to get out of it.

>>21927784
>>21927727
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjfClL6nogo

>>21927823
Look, it’s not too late to really buckle down and commit at 30. Plenty of greats didn’t write their first novel until their 30s, or didn’t publish until their 30s. But none of them, not a single 1, discovered reading and writing this late. Not 1. Dante wrote La Vita Nuova in his early 30s and the La Divina Commedia in his late 30s, but Dante had been writing poetry since he was a teenager. Don DeLillo started writing his first novel at 30, but he had published a short story at 24 and had a career as a copywriter from 22. Tolkien started writing The Hobbit at 44, but he had been writing and writing for his whole life and had poems published in the school newspaper at 19. I could go on and on.

>>21927823
>>21927843
Starting reading and writing at 30 is a totally different thing that starting at 18 but not getting serious until 30.

>>21927839
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzrIV8yhKpE
probably more pertinent

>>21927839
Fuck. 2 mins 30 really hit home

In the 33 year old guy, Wtf do I even do at this point. Even when it comes to simply driving I feel so nervous going anywhere beyond locally that I avoid it now. I can't even take myself anywhere I want. Yet here I am, 33 , had my license since i was 18 and should really have all or most of the nuances of driving down. I should even have a good mind map of my city but I don't becusse I barely went anywhere besides work and have no where to go. So when there is a social event I avoid it because I'm so embarrassed and fearful of going.

I didn't realise how badly my shit accrued. Even now, I got fired for being unvaxxed due but my old work let me know a position is available. However it's a casual position which means I will be needing to drive all over the place to work different sites. Even busier areas.

Should I just go back to my old job and go from there. I don't even know where to go from here seeing the past year of being unemployed I've been so fearful of new workplaces due to things like parking and not knowing the reads to get there despite having thing alike GPS these days

>>21927839
Can Peter Pan be blamed for not growing up in his own. From where I’m sitting, it looks like parents turn their kids into Peter Pan by either reinforcing Peter Pan behavior or not doing anything at all for them. TV and High School/College do the work of the parents now and they do it terribly.

>>21927852
Fuck bro.

This guy here ( >>21927852 ) Just started that one and its already hitting so close to home. I really don't know wtf to do or how to get help. I'm so ahsamed of my situation and don't have friends anymore to even turn to. I feel so fucked up. Even going to my sisters family events (like my niece and nephews bday) is feeling weird because I go with my parents as I still live at home and don't have a family of my own. Even though I'm the one driving, I feel like a kid on the same level as the kids rather than one of the "adults" at the party

I also fear the exact same thing is going to happen to my brother's kids as my brother jsut liemhos soon ex wife reign in their household weakening everyone there. Probably because she has a similar nature to our mother which my brother probably never truly overcame either. What the heck.

>>21927795
You already lived a life and have plenty of ideas, experiences and observational skill. Don't beat yourself up. Your legacy will not be about when you wrote, but what you wrote.

>>21927404
Men don’t have the legal rights to take authority of their households and women have access to legal rights to destroy it.

>>21927020
identify this painting for me please

>>21927853
First of all, have you tried to talking to your mother about the fact that she hurts your confidence?

>>21927882
Well, this is the other thing. I really don’t feel like I have lived a life with experiences. I chased a degree at my state uni a few hours from where I grew up from 18-24 and was a failure of a college student but was an otherwise normal college student. I chased a series of jobs from 24-26, and then at 26 I settled into a job back in the same town I went to college in and get this, at the same college I went to. I feel I’ve really not done anything worth mentioning with my life. I’ve spent nearly my entire adult life in the same town, at the same school, doing nothing in particular and not even doing it particularly well. So I really just feel like I don’t have anything going for me now.

>>21927808
I appreciate that friend. I really am lost and don't know what to do.

I'm 33 and im so behind. And with the cost of everything going up, it's making me even more worried if I can even make it on my own now.

>>21927888
Yes I have. I tried it nicely reminding her im a grown man and don't need to be questioned where I'm going, I even been a bit harsher yet whichever approach it jsut falls on deaf ears or doesn't get it. Or she just makes it out "cos she loves me and cares" which is more irritating.

Then I get treated like the bad guy for it.

>>21927020

Behold, as I find myself ensconced within the confines of my office, pulling a 24-hour shift, while my esteemed guild in the realm of World of Warcraft ventures forth to make strides in content progression bereft of my presence. One can only hope that they are merrily partaking in the spoils of their toil.

my tummy hurts

>>21927839
>tfw 30 yo old infant
oh, I was too late

18-24: go to college at middle of nowhere state u, work full-time, really depressed, “graduate” late with bad grades
24: still really ambitious, get a job at a company the next state over, it lasts 4 months because they’re not doing well and can’t afford to keep me, spend the next 6 months waiting for my degree due to a credit error which means I didn’t really graduate yet and can’t look for a job, but still really ambitious, start the same sort of job at a different state next over, it’s terrible, horribly amateur shop in the suburbs, such a downgrade from the last place, lasts 12 months before I quit
25: move back home feeling defeated, try a few manual labor jobs, none lasts even longer than a week, partly because the jobs are too shitty to tolerate, partly because I was a depressed idiot with bad health, feeling really defeated now, sit around at home for a month or two around the holidays
25: friend offers me a job back at my college, I take it and figure I’ll use the tuition credit to get a graduate degree and change careers, apply to grad program, denied because of bad undergrad grades and downward sloping work experience, I lose interest in school and degrees, I start reading voraciously, decide I want to write, insecure about coming to literature late but figure no one will know and I have time to grow, try writing short stories and poems, end up really frustrated,
26: COVID lockdowns send me home, I get really depressed, keep reading but stop writing, move back home
30: still in the same job, do as little of it as possible, no degree, no career, written little, published nothing, realize my entire 20s has been wasted, have one and only one passion I came to far too late and made too little progress on to do anything with.
I realize a lot of people have it a lot worse than me, but it doesn’t make me feel better. I was always an ambitious person and had big ambitions for my life. So to feel and see how little I’ve accomplished and how low my potential for the future is is suicide fuel honestly.

>>21927888
It truly does feels like what the guy who brought up the subject mentioned

>The problem is, although they can get control very easily they more often than not aren't very responsible with it. Or they misuse it that it leads to destruction, most of the times without even meaning or intending to.

Im sure my mother isn't doing anything like this on purpose but she completely lacks selfawareness about her behaviour or what she's doing and that it isn't exactly a good thing.

My brother is back home again since he is getting a divorc and she caters to his every whim seeing that I reject and have been finding her doing things for me irritable for years and have told her so. Yet she doesn't seem to listen or care.

Even simply asking me if I've eaten or asking what I'm going to eat is irritable because i keep saying to jsut cook for her and dad and I'll figure out my own thing. I don't understand why she can't just understand that. Even asking my what I'm going to eat as though I'm this completely helpless person who can't tend to myself. I'm not sure if she honestly thinks it but it sometimes feels like she treats me like a moron who cant even figure out if I'm hungry or not or that I have no idea what I am supposed to do if I am. It's so frustrating.

>>21927903
It’s hard right now. I think moving out would be good if you can manage it, but your priority should be work and relationships. When you die, nobody is going to care when you moved out but you might care what you did with your time here on earth and who you did it with.

>>21927908
Is that in the moment though? Have you tried approaching here when she’s calm and just saying “Mom, can I talk to you about something?”

>>21927937
I think the key here though is there’s no way to make someone else change. You have to gain independence and then figure out where your mother fits into the puzzle of your life. You might find that when you live with her, you blame her for so much but when you’re on your own and being independent you don’t even think about it and can get a long just fine.

>>21927936
Oh, I’m now living with my parents too. It’s only been a couple of years since COVID lockdowns and I’ll probably move out soon, but given how miserable my life and job is I’ll probably quit soon and I don’t know what I’ll do after that.

I’m just really disappointed with all of this and I’ve started to lose hope that I’ll really get anything I want out of life.

>>21927888
Really though, you try and say to stop it or tell her off for treating you like a moron and she goes on her whoa is me moments acting like no one appreciates what she does for them , no one cares about her etc etc.

It all makes sense now, there really is this innate sense to control things. She does the exact same with the grand kids. Catering to every frivolous whim instead of having set rules like haivng them eat at the table, eating proper food etc. Which just leads to chaos because kids don't know what they want .

Also if the kids are around she jsut puts them straight away on devices as soon as they mention it (even though my sisters household doesn't depend on them) despite them being fine playing with toys just prior

It truly is scarey how destructive this nature really is. She really does set up the gingerbread house giving them sweets and snacks or eat what they want, letting them watch YouTube for hours on end, all just to sedate and neuter them just two they can like her

FUCK SSRIS
FUCK JEWISH PHARMA COMPANIES
FUCK PSYCHIATRISTS

I think I might be getting ready to kill myself

>>21927968
I would say though that you can only do what you can do. And what you can do is to sit down and be like “Mom, here’s all these things I’m insecure about myself, and here’s how I’ve been trying to work on it, and here are the things you’ve been doing which I know mean well but aren’t helping” and see if she puts the breaks on. If she doesn’t, nothing changes. If she does, good. Either way, you’re going to have to pursue self-sufficiency as your primary goal and that includes independence from your mother, but it would be better if you could salvage that relationship into something that makes you better rather than something you have to maintain to keep from breaking you down.

Women hen peck men into oblivion. This has been known forever. The real failure here is your father and the men in your life or not in your life who failed to teach you that. But now you know that the key is to break free from the hens and to make them stop their pecking.

>>21927900
I understand. But try to think on what you are passionate about. At first I thought I had no voice. Then I realized
>read the Bible more than anyone I know outside of preachers, can practically preach myself
>esoteric conspiracy theory and paranormal connoisseur
>detailed knowledge about a job many people will never have
>part of the channer generation from the start
>multiple mental illnesses
And while these things are pointless on a resume it begins to make a unique voice. Ray Bradbury had said your voice is the most valuable thing a writer has. Other people cannot write like you. Take a more critical look at how youve spent your time. And if you havent spent it very well, there's certainly a story there that people want to hear.

>>21927979
I don’t think so. Some things just aren’t interesting. You know you can write a story about a life of suffering. You can’t really write a story about a non-life. And that’s what I feel like I’ve had, a non-life. It’s just going through the motions of school and work in the most mediocre way, and that’s fine until you’re like 25 or something but somewhere between 25 and 29 something has to change if you r want to make something of your life. I didn’t. I basically gave up. I retreated into my remote job, stopped working, and holed up in books. Even then, I spent less time reading than I wish I had because of places like this. I would feel a lot better about this if I were 28 because I would feel like I could at least be confessional and build a career for myself, but at my age it’s basically just over. Nobody wants to hear the whining of a guy in his 30s who isn’t even really suffering. That’s not great literature. That’s trash. My whole life I’ve just been so beyond bored with life and then when I finally find something that lights my fire, I just can’t help but feel like it’s just too late to do anything with it. I really do feel that way. Unique voice or not.

My single biggest regret is entering the effeminate bourgeois environment of college at 18 and not the military instead.

>>21927991
>You know you can write a story about a life of suffering. You can’t really write a story about a non-life.
You're completely correct, and I understand what you mean from personal experience. My life was like that up until I was around 25-26-27. What you can do is transmute those experiences and also change the way you live and perceive the world now and in the future. Even though you can't change what was done, you can use it to your advantage in shaping what you are now and in the future. You can also reinterpret it, understand it in a new light, frame it differently to the way you think about it now. It takes patience and flexibility, but it's worth trying. I'm still not happy with my life but I feel more human and more alive, even though objectively speaking (or at least from my previous perspective), my life is still quite bland. I think this is how most people's lives are, and it also increased my empathy and love for others, knowing that they often feel the same about themselves.

>>21927944
>Is that in the moment though? Have you tried approaching here when she’s calm and just saying “Mom, can I talk to you about something?”

Yes I have but it always goes to her tirades of no one caring. Or when you bring it up she denies she did anything worng. It just frustrates me again when she asks me stuff like if I've eaten or what I'm going to eat even though I never ask her to cook anything for me

>>21927950

But youre right I really need to get some independence but don't really know where to start or how seeing that I have only ever work min wagie jobs and don't have any other real skills. It doesn't help either that I'm ethnic so it's kind of odd to move out unless married.

Funny thing is as I mentioned with my cousins earlier, I really do think their mother (my mother's sister) must have had similar traits. The youngest must've figured it out and moved out at 26 but the girl didn't leave home til 34. I get the vibe they must've been feeling similar to what im feeling now especially the girl cousin.

>>21927977
Did anything accelerated things?

>>21927978
>“Mom, here’s all these things I’m insecure about myself, and here’s how I’ve been trying to work on it, and here are the things you’ve been doing which I know mean well but aren’t helping”

I've tried something similar in the past but she always addresses it in a mocking tone or I'm worried she will mention it to my aunties who will spread it to the cousins. Or if at a gathering she will bringing it up in a passive aggressive way and others will hear which is embarrassing. So I avoid that approach.

>>21927978
>Women hen peck men into oblivion. This has been known forever. The real failure here is your father and the men in your life or not in your life who failed to teach you that. But now you know that the key is to break free from the hens and to make them stop their pecking.
This is so true. I think it happened to my brother with his wife.

I don't know how my sister escaped it. She seems to have more sense. Apparnelty back in highschool she said to my dad "why do you let her treat you that way". Maybe she saw the wrongness of it and something switched in her to avoid becoming like her

>>21928004
If you changed at 25 and you’re not yet 30, it’s highly unlikely you know what I’m talking about. When you reach your 30s, it no longer seems to be a question of “how do I fix this” because it starts to feel more like “this is unfixable”. Your window was when you were young, and you blew it. Now you didn’t blow it. You changed at 25 which is exactly what you’re supposed to do, but if you didn’t the sense is that you’re just fucked. History doesn’t have a lot of examples of people becoming really good at something they started after 30.

>>21928027
I'm not really good at anything. Accept that it's fine to not be really good at anything. Stop shooting yourself in the foot at the starting line. Chances are even if you started in your prime, you'd still never be "really good" for a variety of reasons. Just do your best no matter what an be satisfied with whatever you accomplish. Even if you don't "do your best", just do what you find worthy of your time. Make your life worthwhile.

>>21927997
The grass is always greener. I joined the Army when I was 17 and while I did develop in some ways that I wouldn't have as a college student, I also had some incredibly shitty experiences that I would rather have avoided and overall became a worse person as a result of my service.
The military is literally just high school 2.0 in some ways, so if you think you missed out on joining some kind of fraternal brotherhood of steely-eyed, square-jawed Men bound by camaraderie and honor or whatever then you're sadly mistaken.

>>21928007
Why don’t you talk to your cousins about it?

>>21928021
My Mom use to Hen peck me because that is what she did to my Dad. IT was about everything I did that she didn't like and I put up with feeling like shit for so long that it broke me but in a good way. I started putting her in her place calming, not screaming, not calling her names or demeaning her, but I would point out her behavior and I called her a bad person and a bad Mother. She reacted emotionally and insulted me and I would point it out to her and then tell her that is exactly how she made me feel all the time. It go through her head and she has been nicer since.
The key imo, is not to dominate them like how they try to dominate you. Just be calm on the outside as much as possible and but tell her straight what is going down. The moment you emotionally react, they will sense the weakness and slowly open that weakness over time to destroy you to feel better. Ever since I put her in her place but remained calm we have got along so much more now. Women will respect you if you take a path/action/make your mind up about something even if you fuck up and your wrong.
Best advice I ever got from a man ironically 5 years younger than me was: "Be the driver in your life, you can pick up women and drive with them but don't let them divorce you from your purpose or your goals. If she tries to do that, push back, if she can't accept that, get rid of her. Let them know early on that your the driver and she is coming along the ride with you, not that this is a 50/50 split. She has the freedom to leave, you have the freedom to leave, but never ever give her the wheel of your life."

>>21928033
I think what you’re failing to understand though is it’s not about having success or being really good while you’re young. It’s failing to have gotten on the path at all. You don’t feel like you’re at the starting line. You feel like the race started a long time ago and you just didn’t know it. You’re not just behind. You’re not yet to run. You lost. That can be very difficult to accept for ambitious people. For ambitious people, finding your ambition late can feel like a death sentence.

My mind has been obsessively looking for things wrong in my relationship lately but I haven't found much. The few things I've noticed are ultimately harmless. We're both neurotic and we talk about things we're unsure about openly so it's pretty stable. This pattern that after solving one issue I have to move on to a bigger issue is frustrating at times though. This is how I tackle my professional work so it makes sense that my brain crosses wires a bunch.

The Wire is overrated.

>>21928078
I just think you don't give a shit about the topic and characters.
True Detective is
Sopranos is
Breaking Bad is
Family Guy and American Dad especially are

I have frontflipped off the ramp of a chinook into the Atlantic ocean.

I hope my boyfriend's ex girlfriend gets sex trafficked.

>>21928174
>tfw no jealous and possessive gf

>>21928150
You think wrong. It's just overrated. I gave it a fair chance, watched 3 seasons. Watched the first season like 3 times now its so overrated i kept trying. I was born in Baltimore. The show is not great.

>>21928177
As a possessive girlfriend it is a horrible feeling. I would never wish the way I feel on any other human being.

>>21928161
Marines?

>>21928185
Why its a bad thing? Do you feel insecure all the time?

>>21928188
1st Ranger Batt

>>21928193
No I feel insane all the time. Like immense hatred and anger because I wasn't the first person he said "I love you" to. I was his first and only sexual partner though.

>>21928206
>I feel insane all the time. Like immense hatred and anger because I wasn't the first person he said "I love you" to.
I can understand your frustration. I would feel the same in your position.

>>21928206
He will never love you the same way he loved her.

>>21928216
I intentionally make myself upset by finding his old 4chan threads in the archives as well. I don't know what's wrong with me. :c

I just feel like it’s over and it’s not just my head this time. It’s my gut too…

>>21928206
He thinks about her as he uses you.

>>21928225
>>21928230
Gross. He was edating her for a short period of time. How would he fantasize about someone he has never seen in real life?

I feel lonely, but I think I've become too used to how I live to make room for another person, but I have a strong urge to have kids, but there's no way I'll get married let alone meet someone, but plenty of guys uglier and weirder than me do it, but they might just be highly visible outliers, but I'm building up an image of women as hard to approach and highly judgemental and highly selective and with high standards that may not correspond to reality, but what if I'm not and I really am that subpar, but I'll never know if I don't approach anyone, but I don't even want to try in an age where everyone is on Tinder and sexting and fucking from an early age, but I'll probably be alone forever if I don't put myself out there, but I fucking hate "putting myself out there" and socializing and intimacy and touching people and being touched, but I'll never move past that if I don't get out of my comfort zone, but I have a ton of baggage beyond just issues with intimacy that would make a relationship difficult if the other person ever found out about all the things in my past, but that might be true for a lot of people who manage to find someone, but I've done some particularly horrible things that I'll definitely be damned for, but I'm still alive and recognize what I did as wrong so I can still repent, but I'm scared to speak about it aloud to a priest because the selfish part of me fears to suffer the consequences of my actions, but I have to do it as soon as possible because I know death is so very close to me at every moment, but I'm anxious about publicly leaving the cult I was raised in in order to become a real Christian because my family might disown me, but I have to accept that because the truth is more important, but I still wonder if I'm making the right choice after the church I grew up in turned out to be a front for a shitty corporate grift out to take money from people and I don't want to make a choice unless I'm absolutely certain that it's the right one, but I have so little time and even though I don't fear dying I just want to accomplish the important things I need to do before I reach it.

>>21928226
That does seem like you're feeling guilty about having guilt.

>>21928206
I was a good boy for a long time but something last year set me off randomly.
Some new person started working in our department. She was introduced to everyone but me, even though I have a senior position. Everyone started going to lunch together and it became painfully clear no one wanted anything to do with me. All those kinds of signals used to roll right off me, it didn't matter I thought. But in that moment of humiliation it all suddenly meant the world and I became violently obsessed with someone properly introducing me like a decent human being. Everytime I looked at people I could see knives flying through them, blood and bone and melting faces. Every day for two weeks. It was horrifying. I still dont know what happened to me, but I feel like it's passed and I am okay again.

I might have fallen in love with an escort, again. I cannot do it any more. It's too much. I am going to the train tracks now to put my head on the rail. It's over, I just can't fucking cope with this miserable hell anymore. It's so miserable that it's comedic, and the comedy just adds to my pain like I'm being laughed at.

>>21928251
Boo fucking hoo shut up

How would you hypothetically make family dislike you or find you to be a burden?

>>21928243
What does this mean? I'm guilty about what? :c
>>21928245
I feel like I understand your anger. I hope mine goes away someday.

>>21928197
I'm jealous. The most I ever got to do was take a single Blackhawk ride back from an exercise with my shitty mechanized infantry company.

>>21928272
For what purpose?

La vie s'écoule et coule l'avis que porte la multitude sur un monde dont je me contente des franges

If you outlined a book in December 2021 and did a bit of writing but not much and then went on to write the rest of the book in 2022, would you say you started writing the book in 2021 or 2022?

>>21928277
Does it matter?

>>21928313
Ainsi bas la vida...

>>21928335
I just want to know YOUR reason.

>>21928324
Planning doesnt count, we plan stories in our head our whole lives. Just say you wrote it in 2022. Better yet say you wrote it in 3 weeks. But don't tell anyone the themes only started to matter to you then, because it takes a lot in someone to compel them to tell a story in novel form.

>>21928272
I don't think poisoning your family against you is a good idea at all... If you need help or if you need something from them, tell them. If its something fucking weird so you can just sit in your room and jerk off all day, your better than that.

>>21928341
I’d rather not share it.

>>21928343
Great. I think I’ll just give up in that case. Thanks!

>>21928324
Would it matter? Some people don't even remember when they have started or ended some of their books, I doubt its going to come up. The most common question you'll probably be asked is "when/why did you start writing." And you just think back to the first time you wrote a poem or a story or something outside of class.

People have likened being labeled a conspiracy theorist to being labeled a heretic, but to take the parallel even further, isn't getting cancelled the same as becoming excommunicated from the church? Did the middle ages ever end?

>>21928352
Well this is a problem for me. This was the first time I wrote anything and it’s important to me where it was in 2021 or 2022.

>>21928348
Disappointing but understandable.

>>21928276
One time flying back from a mission I was sitting in the middle of a Blackhawk with the doors open. All of a sudden I feel a splash across my face but don't think anything of it because I was exhausted. Then my squad leader was like, "yo! Are you OK? Your bleeding!" Turns out a bird flew into the rotor and busted all on my face. Good times.

>>21927886
It's Gerhard Richter's Abstraktes Bild (952-2) from 2017.

>>21927707
same with my mom, except my siblings get treated way better. I'm the oldest, and my sister according to my mother can do no wrong. because my relationships with women are always fucked up in one way or another.

Kawabata a sexy motherfucker.

>>21927997
at least you had a choice. college isn't free here and I wasn't cut out for the service because of autism. so I went to trade school instead and got a degree thats practically useless now.

>>21927020
> Friend assumes the worst about me at the moment when I'm most worried about them.

i'm so fucking hungry

>>21928439
I took at nearly $100k in student loan debt to go because I had no one around me to tell me it wasn’t a good idea. I grew up with a single mom that never took an interest in what I did. She didn’t graduate and from her perspective, a degree was the key to wealth and money. She never once even asked me what I studied. She just didn’t care about the details or if what I was doing was right for me. She expected me to become a doctor or a lawyer. 6 years later I had graduated with a business degree and a barely passimg GPA.

mouse rage

>texting with the oneitis
>i just help her with homework, that's all our message history
>she no longer sends me heart emojis along with her 'thankssssss' message
It's fucking over. It's so fucking over.

>>21928467
I mean I can look on the bright side and know that I have two parents that are still married after 40 years.

I think I'm going to have a night in with Dirk Bogarde
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd3vsmWhYWI

>>21928472
just ask her to do it over a coffee

>>21928432
I’m also the oldest. Mom always worried about what the other siblings were doing but never really gave a fuck about what I was doing. When I was 20, I ended up in the hospital for 3 months and nobody even came to visit me. But when my younger brother was in the hospital for a week, everyone had to visit and dote on him. When I think back on how much I’ve failed but also how much I never really had any structure or anyone to turn to for advice or just give a shit what was going on in my life, I get kind of depressed. It’s a curse of being the oldest male I think. Nobody really cares what you do or how you’re doing or what you want.

>>21927020
KITTY NO!

>>21928478
My parents divorced when I was 14 and I didn’t see my dad for 10 years.

>>21928491
>kitty next day

>>21928472
I know how you feel. You think that she is the only one that you will ever crave that way. It's perfectly normal to feel that way, but you have to remember two things:

1] such feelings are the result of a complex web of thoughts, emotions and chemicals. Right now, that mix is telling you that she is the one for you, but do not forget that there are a lot of things you do to alter that mix so you can open yourself up to others.
2] there are literally millions of girls out there that are just as good, if not better matches for you
3] if you haven't done it yet, just tell her how you feel. Don't live a life filled with regrets. Feeling embarrassed, awkward, or cringy hurts much less than regretting the fact you never made a move.

>>21928507
>when your so weak willed you just feed your cat every time it complains
I just can't understand why some people don't think that overfeeding their animal is a problem.

>>21928472
meh, she obviously knew she was manipulating you, so you probably dodged a bullet. I had a girl send me a winking face emoji after she asked me if I wanted to study for a test together an all I sent back was "sure, but don't send me emojis they are gross" and she never bothered contacting me again about studying lmfao

>>21928507
God I wanted her to give that fat cat one of those meaty slaps people give sturdy dogs.

I’ve been so depressed for so long. I just feel like things will never get better.

>>21928324
You save all evidence of the earliest date you put down the idea, so if someone tries to sue you for copyright or rip you off for copyright you have evidence of its independent and dated creation.

>>21928742
They won't if you don't take action.

I wonder how much of adulthood is just about chasing the ghosts of one's adolescence and childhood.

>>21928744
To be honest, I don’t know what action looks like anymore. I feel like I missed my one and only shot.

>>21928773
notice how you said "feel" rather than saying "you know". If you truly feel that way, no loss in giving it 1 last final try.

>>21928787
That’s true. I’m worried I have nothing to fall back on but I guess that’s how things have to be.

>>21928796
Iunno man, a lot of people kinda fail once and think its the end of the world. Its better to be "delusional" (I"m using that word very lightly) and just keep on trying and hoping and you'll eventually make it. That is how literally everyone else in the world does it. Even if your right, you'll be much better off for trying than not doing anything in the long run.

What’s the best American city to move to right now? I’ve been thinking about moving to Pittsburgh.

>>21928821
Seconding this question. Heard a lot about the rust belt coming back

>>21928819
I have a thing where I look at the all-time greats and I kick myself for not doing it like they did. That was never realistic because I’m a different person in a different time, but I hold that up as like a gold standard anyway.

>>21928829
I definitely do not think the rust belt is coming back. I think there are just some cities there which are halfway liveable and cheap unlike the coasts.

>>21928830
They probably weren't afraid to try new or impossible things

>>21928830
Eh, Julius Caesar cried at the statue of Alexander because he felt like he did nothing in his life and he went on to literally take part in not only one of the Greatest Historical Epics ever recorded, he changed the course of history. People with no connection to European Culture know and reference him.
Buddha didn't start his spiritual journey till he was 30. David Goggins didn't join the army and became a bad ass till after 30.
Your ability to improve and transform yourself is only limited by the imaginary cage you put yourself in.

Want to know something cool? If you take a baby elephant and tie a rope to on a wooden post, it will try to tug on it to get out but eventually learn that it can't and stops. The elephant will grow up and you can still use the same rope and post, something that it can now tear out of the ground easily and fuck off, but because it learned as a baby that it can't get out it never tries again. Humans can be the same way sometimes. Your not truly helpless, you just learned that you were at some point of time and assumed, like the elephant, that it will never change. A prison of the mind.

>>21928821
Upstate South Carolina is growing. Cities like Greenville.

>>21928854
Julius Caesar is probably the most inspiring man in history, but he did serve in the army, crucify pirates, was a notorious playboy, and had quite an exciting life overall before he ever cried in front of Alexander. So while he wasn’t a conqueror or great man of history yet, he was still quite an interesting and successful person. He had a lot working for him. This is the sort of thing I beat myself up over the most.

>>21928896
When Nero was in power, he left Rome during a civil war to go tour Greece. Who was in charge of the whole Empire for pretty much his whole rule? A former slave... A lot of the time its just dumb luck, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. I only ever wanted a quite life, myself. Nothing crazy, just the ability to work enough to retire early and live out my years doing what I like on a huge piece of land.

>>21928905
I don’t want to accept that my life is just a stroke of fortune…or misfortune. I find that too unbearable.

>>21928896
Adding onto that, at least you weren't Scipio Africanus who spent all his personal wealth to raise illegal legions to go sack Carthage and get Hannibal out of Italy. Not only did he win the war single handedly, he was basically seen as a Hero of the Republic. He went into politics afterwards expecting to become Consul only to be bullied and removed on dubious claims of bribery. That man did everything that Rome told its men to do to experience success and he was taken down by the jealous Patricians who envied him. He ended up retiring and living the rest of his life at his Villa in Tuscany pissed off that he did everything right and still got fucked. He even requested that he not be laid in state and be buried at his home town too.

>>21928920
I think Scipio Africanus would be disappointed at his mortal life and happy with his historical legacy.

What restaurant should I go to for my birthday?

>>21928915
Well, you have to do something or at least try then, which was my original point.
>>21928925
Yeah, I think he would be happy of his family legacy as well. His son allied with the man that fucked his Father politically to attempt to save the republic. I think Cicero would be proud of his legacy too. He did all the right things morally, but they always went wrong because it wasn't always the most pragmatic thing to do. Also one of my favorite people in that whole Epic is Crassus. Crassus is literally the embodiment of a regular man in extraordinary events. He did a lot of good and a lot of bad but his service under Sulla and his murder spree of all of Sulla's enemies after he was assassinated is always a weirdly fun read for me. I don't know... Crassus isn't a remarkable person at all other than he was alive when this all happened.

>>21928929
>eat your mom out :^)
Iunno anon, I don't know you. Happy Bday btw!

I can't forgive myself for being ugly.

>>21928942
I don’t see Crassus as a regular man. Crassus was allegedly ruthless in acquiring wealth and brash iirc. Crassus also seems to me at least as remarkable as Pompey Magnus or Mark Antony. Only Marcus Aemilius Lepidus punches below his weight historically.

Anon, how can you read about these figures and not want to leave a legacy like they did?

>>21928946
I'm not going with my mom, but thank you.

What do you think about joining the army in your 30s?

>>21928744
The circularity of depression makes this "take action" recommendation easier said than done. You are depressed because you can't take action or don't know what to do. Being depressed makes it harder to take action, which makes it less likely you will take the actions that will help unbury you from the depression. That makes you more depressed. It's a vicious circle.

>>21929019
You have until 35

>>21929040
It’s easier to say what you should have done than what you should do.

>>21929019
Someone I know joined at 28 and ended up a tranny, paid for by the VA. Thankfully detransitioned after several years of disillusionment.

>>21929111
I think the only reason you’d want to join if you didn’t at 18 or 22 or whenever you graduated is if things aren’t working out for you and you’re lost or you just found your life’s calling as a hitter. The latter is awfully rare.

I moved back in with my mom a to save money a couple of years back. I just turned 30 and I regret this period so much. This is like stunted development.

>>21929040
In my experience the best solution to that problem was to just do anything. Never say no to opportunities or invitations, always be on the move, exploring new places and just generally getting out of the house. It helped me a lot to just always be going to new places. Even something as simple as stepping into a cafe you've never been in before can help break that cycle.
As things turned out, new opportunities opened for me and the mindset of always doing something has been extremely useful in helping me makw the most of the new opportunities. Just do something. Anything.

not to sound racist, but I think life would be better without a certain group of humans who are harder to see in dark

>>21929163
Agree. It’s better to be dynamic. But what’s done is done. You can’t go back and be dynamic where you weren’t and money makes making moves cost prohibitive now. I would’ve left my job a long time ago if I could afford it but I couldn’t afford it. So I was stuck in a shitty job.

>>21929163
If you have that attitude as a young person you’re really lucky. My big regret is not having that when I was young and once you get older it feels like it’s just too late.

>>21929218
Not him, but it's never too late. You'd think it was too late if someone told you to start ten years ago.

>>21929228
It’s nice to tell ourselves that but we don’t actually know that. We can never know if it is or isn’t too late. We only have history to suggest one or the other.

>>21929260
Well if you never start it's always going to be too late for you. You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

>>21927020
I once had a dream that before the universe existed there was just an infinite plane of ankle-deep mercury. Any way, god and the devil fucked in the primordial mercury.

>>21929272
Almost, but far too few people fucking for Mercury

>>21927062
It has to be with a woman you love.

>>21929275
Or at least interested in

This is the only board I can go on anymore to not be a coomer. I realize now that something as innocent as a pretty girl's face or clothed legs can trigger me to jerk off, indirectly. It sucks, because in my mind I use this website to speak with likeminded people about shared interests but maybe the truth is that shared interest is cooming. I can't bring myself to give up 4chan entirely, but this will be the only board I use from now on, as it keeps coombaiting to a relative minimum.

>>21929273
what

Why the fuck do so many whyt boys make youtube video essay channels, why is this shit such an often occurence among white people? Fuck, I even caught myself thinking about doing shit like these, but there are literally swarms of those out there

I spent $700 on a fucking composting toilet.
I think it could have been a bad idea.
My home made one wasn't pretty or perfect but it was super cheap.
Still it's uncomfortable and unsightly if I ever have visitors.
To think I still haven't grown above spending large quantities of money for the sake of what other people think and something as petty as comfort.
It's still just a fancy box I shit in at the end of the day.

Leftism is so schizophrenic

>>21929040
>The circularity of depression makes this "take action" recommendation easier said than done.
I'm the original Anon who posted that in my mid-20s I was diagnosed with Chronic Reoccuring Depression or (PDD) Persistent Depression Disorder, classed as N5 (severe). I scored I think the second highest on the chart which put me into the "likely an heroing" category. They immediately medicated me and I went to therapy but eventually just stopped because at the time it was hard to get out of bed.
I'm in my 30s now and since then, I'm no longer medicated and I'm no longer depressed. I get episodes but they are much more manageable now. If I can do it you can do it. I know its hard, I know its painful, but its something you must do.
Remember Anon, It is always darkest before the dawn.

>>21929218
I only started when I was 23. I feel a lot of regret too but it was it is man

I cringe when I think about my life

>>21929294
modern society is a prison.

>>21929294
I like this way more than I should....

>>21929288
Look closer next time, very few of them mind

>>21929299
Retard. 23 is young enough to just start basically anything. You’re a fucking kid.

>>21929290
1. There are tons of women and girls who do video essays too
2. There are tons of people who aren't white who make video essays
3. It's the modern format of the age for getting a essay a interested audience without dealing with bougie gatekeepers or a total lack of audience
Realistically very few people read random essays from nobodies as a pastime.

Also you sound really racist and sexiest. Just saying.

>>21929311
Its entirely valid for me to feel regret about being a friendless shut in from the ages of 13 to 23

Nobody gets my jokes.

>>21929325
That our joke hah hah

>>21929314
>Also you sound really racist and sexiest. Just saying.
you sound like an old hag

>>21929325
I dont tell jokes for the benefit of others. I tell them to amuse myself.

>>21929314
>3. It's the modern format of the age for getting a essay a interested audience without dealing with bougie gatekeepers or a total lack of audience
Ignoring the weird communist part, I agree youtube is the oratory Gutenberg press. We are no longer constrained to the gatekeepers of TV and Radio, it has democratized entertainment and news media, not to mention that the internet has democratized information period. So it makes sense why everyone would jump on it.

>>21929317
It is, but you’re still very young. You have much youth ahead of you. It’s different when you’re 33. When you’re 33 you’re not old but you’re not young anymore. 23 is decidedly young.

> move to place A for college
> move to place B for work
> move back to place A for work
> move back to place B for remote work
My whole life has been like this. I have no idea where to go now.

>>21929374
>It’s different when you’re 33. When you’re 33 you’re not old but you’re not young anymore. 23 is decidedly young.
Rude, I have no idea how old you are but there are people in their 40s that turn their lives around, its never too late.

Drinking a Mountain Dew right now.

>>21929400
Start writing love poems to mountain dew's corporate office for years, write thousands of poems then near the end of your life take them to see if you can get them published.

>>21927020
I wanted people to forget about me and now that they did, I long for their touch,
and their smiles and laughs. This is as pathetic as it could get. I can't even reach out. What relationship do I have left that wasn't blasted by my paranoia or tainted with my own hypocrisy?

>>21929396
That’s true, there are but that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about people who on paper are doing fine but at nonetheless dissatisfied and not people who need to turn their lives around.

For the first time in 3 years, I'm talking to a nice girl who wants to go on a date. Then, out of nowhere, I got the opportunity to socialize with a group of people that includes a girl I've had a crush on but never really had the chance to talk to for 8 months. This second girl is objectively less attractive than the first one, and chubby to boot, but she's somehow more exciting to me.

My friend recently got a radfem gf and I don't envy him. What a shrew. Very low self esteem, negative energy, calls women gender traitors for getting fillers.

>>21929342
What communist part?
I said nothing related to communism.

>>21929400
I like mountain dew.
It's a tasty soda.

>>21929494
>bougie
>short for: Bourgeoisie
I know in English its just used as a term for "rich" a lot of the time, but it has a very latent communist political undertone in Russian and French.

>>21929500
So you admit you know that the word I used has a different meaning than something related to communism. Knew full well what the word meant especially in context. Yet you took two extra leaps of logic to arrive at a conclusion that is very obviously not was meant at all.

That is the most aggressively midwit thing I have seen all day.
What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>21929519
>Don't know you at all
>Says "bougie"
>Puts it next to gatekeeping
>References Tv and Radio
>Is shocked that someone may think that your a communist
If what I wrote is the most "aggressively midwid thing" you've ever read, you might want to go back through and reread this post I'm replying to... Your asking questions about things that have already been obviously answered.

I just found out my IQ is 124. The first test I ever took was at 6 years old measured at 113, and then when I was 8 it was measured at 124. What does this mean? Any chance it's increased since then (I'm 21 right now)

>>21929535
Iunno, remember that education can (and does) skew IQ. You can be born with 99 and if you actually get a decent education it will bump you to 100 or 101.

Retard girl with a retard boyfriend was sharing her location when she was coming over my house. Now he showed up outside of my job today. If I knew I was going to have to deal with all this shit I really would have fucked her. Life would be so much easier if I was just a bad person for real.

tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow creeps

>>21929531
Do you legitimately have a mental illness that explains your very particular form of stupidity?

>>21929619
Like actual retards, as in special needs people, or garden variety idiots.
Because the first one is certainly a lot funnier to imagine. You caught up in a lover's drama but the other two involved are "special". Would pay money to see it.

>>21929663
She's not that stupid, just the kind of girl that got pushed around in her life by her parents and everyone else. Has no clue how to say no, no clue how to take care of herself. Like fuck I helped her make a skin care routine, I'm essentially her older brother, girl is 4 years younger than me. Her boyfriend is a retarded loser that's terrified enough at the thought of losing her or her becoming a real human being that he lost his shit enough to feel the need to come threaten me.

I love wapan. The wapanese have great karrotoons.

I just had an epiphany.

I want to shoot myself, dude. I fucked up so badly. It’s unironically over.

If my dog barks me awake before 06:00 again tomorrow I'm beting the shit out of him.

>>21929809
What happened?

>>21929813
I hope your dog beats the shit out of you, psycho.

>>21929834
You're a faggot.
I am not going to accept having to wake up at 05:00 cause this dog decides to be a faggot.

>>21929813
Based. I fucking hate dogs, only the dog I owned was good and now he's gone. Never seen a good dog since, no one raises one that deserves life. Behead dogs. Drop kick dogs in the face. Slam dunk a dog baby into a trash can.

>>21929884
Neighbours also have these mutts who bark at night sometimes. And the owners just let it bark.
Death penalty for both the dog and the owner.

>>21929809
What did you do?

What do you think about starting graduate school in your 30s?

>>21929272
look into the alchemical symbolism of mercury, that dream is about as pregnant with meaning as dreams get

My mum has this thing where if you have any kind of crisis or problem, she'll pick a fight about it and turn it around so it can be her getting mad at you for responding in a certain way, and then somehow it will end up with her hanging up on you and demanding apologies. It can be anything. You could tell the woman you're being held at gunpoint by cartel thugs and she would somehow turn it into how she didn't like your tone, or how you need to have a more positive attitude about it, and she doesn't like your tone when you responded "I don't think a positive attitude will help much in this situation."

My theory is that it's because she's scared of not being able to help, and this is unconsciously a way of making the situation more less confusing and frightening. If the conversation is no longer about how your wife was just diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer that could actually be dangerous, but about how you said "mum can I just finish what I was saying" with some tone she doesn't like, then it's back to being a situation she recognizes and knows what to do in.

If this sounds familiar to anyone, look up parentalizing or parentification.

How do you cope with being unintelligent? sometimes I manage to delude myself into thinking im smart but I always get a hard reality check when im in situations where im asked to show it. It takes me so long to write eloquently and my recall memory is complete shit. I think the worst feeling for me is knowing I will never create something of intellectual value. Whats the point of being alive if im just another retard.

The smell of coffee gives me a headache, man.

>>21929290
spending far too long in the educational system and a lack of friends with whom you can share you thoughts regarding your common interests, and a desire for social respect and esteem for your decidedly nerdy hobbies. the only outlet is the absurdity of a 30 hour series of videos on dark souls in a pseudo-acsdemic format

>>21930018
Good post, I'd also throw on top of this that a lot of people passionate about their degree later end up doing things unrelated to it and want to find a way to keep their interest alive. Film students who are truly passionate about film but end up being desk jockeys, that kind of thing. I can see why they want a community.

In the 1880s they'd be writing journal articles. I wish we could go back to that.

>>21927041
10 years for that is pretty damn insane when murderers have walked for less. I'm no statist, but up to 2-3 months seems fair.

My career is a damn disaster.

>>21927847
What about 23?

Eros as self-negation:
Heterosexual relations are fundamentally a form of narcissism, Ficino believes. In the
event that the object who has been substituted for the subject prevents
the latter from loving himself, takes away from him the pneumatic mirror without
which he is practically reduced to nonexistence, the beloved
can be called the murderer of his lover. After knocking hopelessly at the
door of the other's eyes, this Narcissus will die through lack of access to
the glossy surface of a spirit on which (or on whom) he can be reflected.

>>21930088
What about it?

I had the chance to do some copywriting when I was younger. It wasn’t as glamorous as journalism or working for a university so I turned it down but I think that would’ve been good for me. I think I would’ve been a lot better off now. I should have done it.

>>21930133
I don't know, what are you reading?

I wish my boyfriend's ex girlfriend would eat cupcakes with glass in them.

>>21930239
Arent you bored of this by now

>>21930300
No

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QFc5gf6Jx4

She tells me she only sleeps with guys after like 5 dates. When I know for sure she has slept with multiple guys without any dates. I’m just trying to be one of those guys. Why is she saying this to me? Why does she want to be in a relationship with me first? Is she just using me for something? I don’t have much money? I don’t understand?

>>21930376
perhaps she is changing her ways

>>21930393
>doubt.jpg

>>21930376
Bro...

Have some dignity and tell this two dollar whore to hit the bricks

>>21930411
Yea I’m definitely not going to date her. But she also was in a serious relationship for over 2 years.

>>21929653
I'll take that as an admittance of defeat and you outed yourself, Commie... The only time I see people get this upset about this kind of thing is when I'm right. Take your faux intelligence to Starbucks, I'm sure they will greatly appreciate another "misunderstood and oppressed genius "

I wish I didn't have to eat so often

>>21930472
Then don't? Most hunger people in the first world, hell probably most people in the world now Period. Is habitual hunger, not true hunger. Your body is use to you eating at a certain time, so it secretes insulin and Ghrelin early to anticipate the food. Which then drives you to eat, the way it works is genius.

>>21930537
I have to eat regularly because I have a disorder. It fucks up your ability to feel hunger too.

>>21930551
Oh, sorry to hear that bro.

Tried to put it in while doing doggystyle and couldn’t. So fucking embarrassing. I’m not even that small. I’m 6 inches. I’m doing something wrong. Anyway, I’m going to kill myself.

>>21927784
>>21927727
>>21927853
>>21927917
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50FbeazFkgs

Peterson has said quite a few decent things about this subject. People misunderstand the Freudian Oedipal model, it isn't literal, and it is relevant. The reason so many manchildren exist today is because of single mothers arrested their development and making them psychologically beholden prisoners.

Just remember bros, if you feel things are wrong, that's a good thing. It means there is still some hope for you, it means there is still time to find some redemption, it means it's time to start doing the right things instead of being a pussy; and you know that, that's why you're unhappy.

Don't live in regret bros, even if it's only for a short while.

>>21930565
You're probably right about most people. I have to eat when I'm not hungry and I feel just as full before and after most of the time and it feels pointless sometimes.

>>21930605
I'm a manchild, but my mom was the opposite. She let me do whatever I wanted, and I'd wander the city alone as a child. I think for me it must be something else.

>>21930611
My mom was the same. She even support me going out yet I didnt do anything.

Damn I wish I could commit suicide

>>21930616
Why?

>>21930605
man child behavior comes from the eternal youth being demonized because it isn't marketable, the suffering from being eternal youth comes from it clashing with expectations of reality, look at women and how happy they are acting like retarded toddlers, for men that is not allowed due to cultural and societal expectations, if at any point a man tries to enjoy the same freedoms women take for granted he gets chided for being lazy underachiever and he is expected to have a gf and a career he loves, everything short of the picket fence boomer dream is considered a failure or something that needs fixing
you're a victim of a conditioned dream sold to a generation who were the guineapigs of the advent of television
https://youtu.be/0f0gGDsX0PI
as for the suffocating single mother hens that won't let their kids fly or become independent they're just being retarded women, you need to understand that women will be like that 90% the time and that being alone in solitude is better than being governed by a woman
>>21930616
if you were there you wouldn't feel the need to announce it, find out what holds you back from doing it, if it's fear of death practice buddhism or some other religion until you're sufficiently not afraid of death anymore then your desire for death either fizzles out or you're ready to go through with it, either way you get finality

>>21930615
You didn't do anything? I had crazy adventures exploring the city and meeting people. My first kiss was some hot girl walking on the sidewalk, and she invited me to her house, but her brothers were there and they threatened me with a knife. There's a few times I had to run from crazy people and pedos trying to pick me up. I also broke into abandoned buildings and explored them.

>>21929400
Drinking Mountain Dew again lol.

>>21930626
we get it, you get two pennies a post to say mountain dew, next say you're drinking monster energy drink you fucking shill, just spam mountain dew 5 times in a row and fuck off so you can buy a bottled water you slave

>>21930620
Lame, I lived across a lake and spent my days fishing and for some reason eating a lot of dirt.

>>21930628
I can't drink Monster. Makes me withdrawl from my meds.

>>21930632
spam mountain dew a few times and fuck off

>>21930633
No because I only just started drinking this one. I promise I'll let you know when I drink another one if you're so insistent.

>>21930629
I lived on a farm after living in the city. Honestly, I prefer the farm life. There's even more you can get away with, like shooting guns and driving cars before license. I loved just playing with the animals, like letting the baby goats jump on you.

>>21930634
i'm calling you a paid shill you retard

flirting with death by idolizing / fantasizing about suicide is just a fancy way of coping with the feeling of lacking options in life, people who are stuck on their spot in life tend to fantasize of suicide so they feel like if things get too bad they have a way out, when you look at north korea and how miserable conditions people will tolerate without committing suicide you should realize it's just a cope

>>21930636
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw6zgHVE12U

>>21929982
my dreams always are.

>>21930620
I dont really need you rubbing salt into my wounds.

>>21930629
Also, I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. Like I said, I'm a manchild, and a NEET who lives in mom's basement. I enjoyed my childhood very much, but my adulthood is mostly in the basement. I lost my childhood wanderlust.

>>21930661
I expected this response. See >>21930662

>>21930639
Plagiarizing Steppenwolf.
17:45
https://www.bitchute.com/video/6P6alnpoTUSB/

>>21930619
>look at women and how happy they are acting like retarded toddlers
Neither toddlers nor women are all that happy.

>>21930449
Yeah I'm going to go with a diagnosis of mental retardation

>>21930665
Atleast you had childhood.

>>21930673
then you need to like, just do whatever you want queen, like who cares what others think they're just jealous
and now the same in actual toddler
toy, fun, food, yum, impulse, fulfill, want do? do

>>21927041
Based Caween
>>21927784
Anon if I were you I would just chill.
You should start working out and investing in /lit/ frens. Also you should straighten out the kinks with ur mom. To me she looks like she's a makeshift lonely stressed out old lady. Just show her that you care from time to time.
Also you couldn't blame yourself for leading a patrician's lifestyle.
Read as much as you can while you can. Most jobs out there are hypocritical and soul crushing, and you're just another fool down the line coveting them for what they are not.
P.s. as a 34yo wageslave I can tell it only gets worse.

>>21930677
>neither of these humans having regular meltdowns
I have strong reservations about encouraging anyone on this site to meet a toddler, but you could at least try meeting women.

>>21930629
>eating a lot of dirt.
Anon, I ..
Think you may have...
Pica or possibly hookworms?
https://www.healthline.com/health/pica

https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/resources/web/roundworms_hookworms.html

Have you ever read, "Let Us Now Praise Famous Men"?

"And Their Children After Them" is also good. The perks described in those two books remind me of my mom's side of the family. Dirt poor in Alabama.

>>21930682
>regular meltdowns
that's just part of being entitled and retarded, the price you have to pay for indulging in your impulses 24/7 and then wondering why things aren't always cotton candy and sunshine

We need five maybe seven threads of Blood Meridian at any one time. Now look at the name field

>>21930674
cope

>>21930694
Diagnosis confirmed.

>>21930639
Why it is a bad thing? It's a stoic life hack that door is always open without this option I would've surely killed myself

>>21930684
I've had hookworms in the past, but this was pre-hookworm. I've also had another kind of worm that burrows into your foot and lays eggs in your colon cause I use to walk barefoot everywhere. I haven't ate dirt since I was a child though and I know I don't have worms cause I would be shitting them constantly

>>21930695
the cope continues.

>>21930698
i did not mean to imply good and evil on it, i was just stating that there is always an option and the fact that people are refusing to look at it seriously shows how far life affirming life worshipers are willing to go to lie to themselves that life is worth living
it isn't but neither is it worth dying for

>>21930684
Forgot to answer the rest of your post
>Have you ever read, "Let Us Now Praise Famous Men"?
>"And Their Children After Them" is also good. The perks described in those two books remind me of my mom's side of the family. Dirt poor in Alabama.
No I've never read those books, I'll put them on my list. Funny that you mention Alabama cause this was when I was growing up in North Carolina.

>>21930619
What's your general advise on coping with life you sound wise
How old are you?

>>21930701
We get it already. You are retarded. No need to be so shameless about it.

>>21930706
This is just getting embarrassing for you now... Since you won't give yourself the mercy you deserve, I will and leave it with this post. Remember, Communism has failed!

>>21930702
Euthenasia is the only human right that truly matters

>>21930710
Do rights really matter if they can be suspended for little to no reason outside of "its inconvenient that you are around"?

>>21930705
>coping with life
stoicism if you're not religious / spiritual
zen buddhism if you want a flare of spiritual
absurdism if you want to keep religion

pretty much
S "life is shit but i am tough enough to take it"
Z "ill just flow through life without overthinking it"
A "life is fucking weird and i love it"
>>21930710
i am also a supporter of voluntary euthanasia

>>21930713
Don't know anything

>>21930720
I know everything

>>21930722
Lair

>>21930729
I'll prove it.
Your currently breathing right now.
See?

>>21930717
>absurdism if you want to keep religion
Doesnt make sense. Camus said that religion is a philosophical cope.

>>21930736
Camus says a lot of things...

>>21930736
>life is bizarre and makes little sense
>"well just embrace life as absurd and accept that you probably will never get it"
fits like a glove with the fact that gods ways are unknowable and to try to understand the reasoning behind bizarre events is folly

think of these for example
>a devout priest dies of cancer in his 30's
>a rapist murderer survives a miraculous car crash that kills 5 officers
if you believe in god you would probably be wondering "wtf was god thinking, this is absurd this is ridiculous!"
camus's world view of "life is absurd" with a tagged on "gods ways are mysterious yo" go hand in hand to explain that
personally i know life is absurd but i don't think it is worth glorifying over that, i'm more of a zen "don't over think it" and stoic "fuck it i can take it" type of guy, only part of absurdism is to acknowledge that life rarely makes any sense when you get down to the nitty gritty of it or look at it from macro view

>>21930731
Holy...

>>21930748
Dont most of religious people think that God works in a mysterious way by default?

>>21930750
most of them have reached the same synthesis of absurd and "god has a plan don't question it"

>>21930753
>>21930750
>>21930748
You can always take the Stoic opinion and not bother about thinking about it. Attempting to "infer appearances of the moves of the Heavens" is a waste of time and energy you could spend on action.

NEW THREAD >>21930760
NEW THREAD >>21930760
NEW THREAD >>21930760
NEW THREAD >>21930760

The war in the west rages on and on
Ten thousand men for a step, ten million dollars per ton.
A red sun rises and it shall not set
So long as the war goes on in the west.
Like ants they go marching!
Look at the lines over the dunes!
In the west, they say, is harbored the world-doom.
Doves sing in the valleys of our snowcapped peaks
Where fruit grows by the river and nuts fall by the creek
In the west, says an old man, back from the front
The war is fought against skeleton empires of dust
He told us evil stories of men made of stone,
Of the forced abdication of all worldly thrones
He whispered of a moon that hangs shattered in the sky
When we children looked up, the sight eluded mine eye
The war in the west rages nearer by the day.
Soon, our green valley will burn all the same
Or so says a young man, with fire in his eyes -
Who whispers of killing immortals with steel in their spines
And told us of the sound of a giants death-cry
or the faded bone-white against the gore of dead lives
but when we listened for the footsteps of the giants, all we heard was our river.
And yet the war in the west is paid in full;
My own father deserted, long ago, in a lull
He sits at the table with crystal-clear eyes
He tells of the war and what it comprised
"In a land where the sun does not rise nor set -
there can be no war, no pain, no bloodlet
And yet, my son, i saw the sages
Of ancient days rise again
I saw the dragon-mother of the stars consume the waters of men
I felt the cold of deep-dwellers who crawled out from bitter seas
I smelled the ammonia-burn of dying xenoenemies
I tasted my own blood as a lance pierced my side-"
And then did my father lift his shirt, to our surprise,
For there was no lance-scar on his leathered flesh yet
And he smiled when he said,
"It isnt real, my son,
Until that red sun sets."
The war in the west rages on and on
Ten thousand men for a step, materiel by the ton
Never again will I question the war in the west
For I too have seen the bone-yards of the lands if the west
Where the moon hangs crying
And a red sun never rises
And the red sun never sets

>>21929290
They are made by boring, autistic people who have no physically productive hobbies. So instead of actually making something of value they simply regurgitate useless information they found from endless rabbit hole diving. This information is usually on topics that are either A - ultimately useless (e.g. films, games, etc) or B - niche skills/topics that they will never put the effort in to learn properly. The latter especially seems to me a big problem with a lot of people today. They browse "interesting" TikToks or go on r/todayilearned and delude themselves into thinking that they are learning something, or that they are enlightening themselves somehow. But in reality they are simply wasting time, and are scared of facing the fact that they are throwing their life away.
Source: I have these tendencies

>>21930619
>comes from it clashing with expectations of reality, look at women and how happy they are acting like retarded toddlers, for men that is not allowed due to cultural and societal expectations, if at any point a man tries to enjoy the same freedoms women take for granted he gets chided for being lazy underachiever

Tbh, this is probably why so many are becoming trannies these days. They don't want the responsibility and expectations that come with being a successful "man"

>>21927020
Sometimes, I don't feel like the person I actually am.

>>21928015
I'm not sure because life is going very badly at the moment but that's hardly a first and I've never reached this point before. Always obsessed over the thought a lot but had that knot of fear in the pit of my stomach when I considered actually making an attempt. Now that's gone, and none of my usual coping mechanisms are working anymore. I nearly did it yesterday but couldn't stand the thought that my wife and family will think I didn't love them. I'm in a calmer state today but still feeling as though I've accepted it's going to happen soon and I'm not afraid for myself anymore. It's a very strange sensation and totally different from times in the past where I've felt as if I were in crisis- this is more like I'm already gone and just waiting for my senses to catch up. Maybe it will pass.

>>21930619
>https:// youtu.be/0f0gGDsX0PI
tldr?