/lit/ - Literature

I wish to vigorously tongue Daicon IV bunny's fetid asshole.

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhUhWrqv9Js
You must listen to this on repeat as you trawl through the posts. Upwards to 85% of them will be relevant to this song.

>>21912377
Dude, she’s 63 years old

>>21912365
>100 pages into my novella
>Constantly worried about the quality of my work to the point where I'll look at the same page all day
>Open up books from my shelf to compare my work to theirs
>Think it''s comparatively shit

>>21912367
I can really sympathize with this.

Really wish I had the cash to open up my own book shop where I can just let people in to my front room to give me money for books I've already finished reading and don't want to read again.

But mostly, I want that so I can live a life as free from as many screens as possible.

>>21912523
One of my local booksellers basically just bought the personal libraries of three ancient emeritus professors from their families after they died and has been selling from that stock for more than a year making a tidy and consistent profit. And that's just one among many booksellers in my city. It seems a surprisingly easy way to make a (admittedly modest) living, at least in a university town.

>>21912484
Is there any solution?

>>21912544
> It seems a surprisingly easy way to make a (admittedly modest) living
That's fine by me. I don't want to become some hustler or whatever. It's just the only job I can imagine having where I don't feel like I'm wasting my time, even though I'd likely spend more time working in this idea than I do now.

I'm such a stupid, idiot, dumb sinner who deserves nothing but damnation and fire, consumed by the flames of my own wretchedness and tormented by the weight of my own guilt, haunted by the ghosts of my past transgressions, unable to find peace or solace in this world or the next, for I have betrayed not only myself but those who loved me, I have squandered every opportunity for redemption and spat in the face of mercy, I am a wretch, a worm, a creature of darkness, a damned soul with no hope of salvation, and yet I cry this dirge of lamentation, for even in the depths of my despair, I cannot help but cry out for forgiveness, for absolution, for a glimmer of hope in this endless abyss of my own making.

>>21912551
If I’m being honest, I don’t know. I think the problem has to be simplified. What are your options? You can charge forward full steam ahead as you would as if things had gone the way you’d have had them gone, you can give up and do the bare minimum, or you can just kill yourself. Those are really your only options. Giving up obviously is pointless because it changed nothing. Killing yourself is a change but it practically guarantees the optimal outcome is off the table. So I figure you may as well just charge forward as if you had done everything right from the beginning…and here’s another thought: you can always lie your ass off. Lie. Make it and then lie. Lie as if you had been making it from the beginning.

Are you guys okay?

VOCÊ PEGA O TREM AZUL
O SOL NA CABEÇA

>>21912593
>You can charge forward full steam ahead as you would as if things had gone the way you’d have had them gone, you can give up and do the bare minimum, or you can just kill yourself. Those are really your only options.
Or you can dream a new dream and start your history on that journey today. Its the type of killing yourself no one really thinks about until its too late. Whats the worst that could happen? you end up back here or dead? you already have as viable
options staying here or making yourself dead (by your own admission anyway). So you really have nothing to lose in going into the new.

>>21912601
No speak Spanish or Czech or whatever that language is. Can you translate what you said?

>>21912605
It’s true you can dream a new dream, it what if all your dreams have the same problem, or what if you have no new dream? Then you’re in the situation I described.

>>21912599
Kind of. I'm in my late twenties and after several setbacks in my professional career, I am pretty much in a state of existence as I was in my early twenties, drifting about doing not much at all with a mind to the future. I am doing way too many drugs, simultaneously thinking the train is never leaving and that I can get on at any time, and also thinking it has already left so it doesn't matter if I start my day with a line of cocaine and half a blotter of LSD just to stave off boredom. All the while my peers are getting married, having children and buying houses, something I alternate between pining for from the very depths of my soul and finding to be existentially horrifying and repulsive beyond reason.

>>21912609
That's the thing, I don't speak it either but I can understand a lot of portuguese since I'm a spanish speaker.
That said, I'll let the translation to this man
https://youtu.be/Lc70EpZpKiM?t=60

>>21912605
Can there be a dream if theres no drive?

>>21912599
No

>>21912634
It depends what you mean by drive. Sometimes something can be desired but drive stalls because there are distractions or procrastination stifling action. That’s a dangerous place to be in because if you let enough time pass out can miss your shot.

>>21912599
I’ve been having a really hard time lately.

>>21912389
Hmmm
That guitar part was awesome. Bass tone also
This might be relevant tho
I once talked to this girl for a long while and she seemed very very nice and into me. Her ig looked shes just too good to be true, that type of girl. She was very supportive but once when she was kinda cold for a while i made some insulting joke and soon after we stopped talking. I still think about that sometimes...
I never really considered her since she was turkish( muslim), was far away and seemed too good to be true. Maybe that was my way of probing her, maybe i couldnt handle her, maybe im a retard
Anyways thanks for the awesome band

>>21912628
Once you turn 30, you’re going to suddenly feel like the train left the station a long time ago with no wavering back to feeling like it’s not leaving yet. So my advice? Realize that it is leaving the station right now and take control of your life so you can reap the benefits later.

>>21912666
Now that you've put it in that way, I think that I have drive but no dream. Nothing interests me.
>inb4 try anything
I tried multiple things but eventually hit the "pointless" mark.

>>21912628
That sucks. I can't imagine feeling the need to do drugs. I did chewing tobacco in high school to fit in with my peers, but without peers there's nothing making me want to seek that stuff out. When I'm bored I play video games, shitpost here, listen to music, watch anime, read books and articles, watch educational and comedy YouTube videos, and jerk to porn all of which takes place at the same computer.
>>21912640
What's wrong?

>>21912681
Why?

>>21912693
I think it takes time and effort. I’m willing to bet that you do have certain inclinations. Sit down, think about it, and write them down. Once you have an idea, push hard, and don’t give up until you’ve given it a real shot. When I look back on my life, my single biggest regret is not taking hard and fast action when I had inclinations for things. At various points, I had things I wanted to do, but I second guessed them, I put in sort of half assed effort and got discouraged, I put them off and put them off. But that’s the wrong way to do it. You don’t want to wait because you really can miss your shot if you wait too long.

>>21912389
Has anyone here read his book? Most people aren't fond of it.

>>21912713
>The novel’s quick 278 pages include:
>At least a dozen references to Arvil Lavigne’s vagina,
>The same amount of references to Kyle Minogue’s vagina (and remember, Mr. Cave sang with her a few albums back),

>>21912365
Is anime a supernormal stimuli and if so what does that mean?

>>21912699
I just had a birthday and I’m just really unhappy with what I’ve done to this point, which seems to be a common theme around here lately. I have a plan and I know what to do next, but I still feel terrible about it and I have a lot of doubts.

>>21912707
Thats where we differ, you knew what you wanted even with all the doubt and timing whereas I thought that these were my desires but they were influenced by other people - better to pick what others suggest because I dont know what I want and everything leads to a massive failure. Yes, I do realize that a lot of doors are closed forever.

>>21912613
What if's can only be found out by doing anon. You can find out or you can stick to what you already know isn't working or you can die. I fail to see how those last two things are better than the first.

>>21912727
>but I still feel terrible
time to read about emotional management or discipline yourself, meditate (east or west style, but theres a lot of science behind east if you care about that), journal, go for walks, stop watching tv and playing video games. Maybe give up music eventually.
>I have a lot of doubts
enamels within are worse than enemies without ask yourself this "Can I do anything to fix what I have doubts about?" If you can't, then stop thinking about them, if you can act.

>>21912736
Well, what is the problem then? If you realized your ambitions weren’t your own but were rather ambitions impressed on you, then you’re lucky to have shed that off because now you can have your own. Who cares if you can’t achieve ambitions you never had?

>>21912727
you deleted your post but i'm the anon from >>21912742 happy bday

>>21912742
I can do things to address the doubts, but I don’t think it will have the same outcome as if I had done it a long time ago, if that makes any sense.

>>21912634
I doubt you have no drive or else it wouldn't bother you that you are in the position you are now. At the very least the amount of drive required to care about how much you dislike this predicament is enough to start dreaming new dreams.

Finding out that the Grail myth is made up broke my heart. I know that the legend is false in the sense that it is make-believe, but what hurts is that there being a myth at all is made up.

>>21912745
I meant to fix an error but I’ll just leave it. Thank you.

>>21912746
>>21912750
>but I don’t think it will have the same outcome as if I had done it a long time ago, if that makes any sense.
I hate to be harsh but if you think you will fail before even attempting then you lost the war long before you were going to fight it. That being said, I think you should try. I think you are jumping at shadows against the wall of a cave believing them to be real, if you catch my drift.

>>21912741
I would say that when it comes to dreams, you already know what ifs. You know what your dreams are. If you don’t have another dream, you don’t have another dream.

>>21912727
You say many are having the same issue of being sad about not meeting expected goals in life. Perhaps it's not a matter of not completing these goals, but the problem lies in you having goals that you don't complete. Either make goals that you can complete or don't have any goals. Personally, I have 0 goals in life, and I'm generally happy. Of course I sometimes have despair thinking about my future, but I remind myself that I'm living in the present not the future. I don't know your situation, so this might not help you. I'm lucky to be able to live with my parents, so I don't have to have goals in life. Why make goals and despair over them? Live your life as best you can, not by creating burdens for yourself with goals you can't achieve.

>>21912751
I don’t think I’ll fail. I think I will succeed actually. This is hard to convey without being ultra-specific but I can’t be. Basically, there are some things I wish I had done to address some concerns a long time ago and I can still do those things but I actually don’t think that’s the most optimal thing to do at this point. If I want to win, I’m going to have to be unorthodox.

>>21912743
>because now you can have your own
Thats the problem - there are none.

>>21912753
>or don't have any goals.
Word to the wise, I've seen a lot of people do that and a lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them end up being nihilistic and feeling unfulfilled with life. If you approach it in the terms of Buddhism, Taoism, or a couple of other the other philosophies that have the same kind of inaction root to them it can be very freeing. Just know that you are walking a very untrod path and it is very easy to get lost.
>>21912757
Well you can always prepare in the mean time.

>>21912753
I think that having these goals and living life as best I can are one and the same.

>>21912752
Ore your scope is too narrow. You have tried everything there is to try in this world I take it. You have been a cab driver in new york, an otter fisherman in india, a dance coach for wayword teens and an ascetic in a monastery in tibet, all in your <30 years (Im assuming based on the way you talk) of life. Try something completely new and see how it goes is all Im saying. The worst case scenarios is that you wind up back where you are now or dead, which according to you are the only other options anyway.

>>21912748
Can an impotent anger be used in the first place?

>>21912767
I'm Christian. My philosophy of life is based on Ecclesiastes, the Gospel of John, and Thomas Aquinas.
>>21912769
If you want to be happy, and you set up goals that fail that make you unhappy, then that's illogical. I want to be happy, so I don't do that.

>>21912774
I haven’t. I think I’ve done a wider range of things than most people like me, but more than that I think I know myself, who I am, and what I want out of my finite years here on earth. That’s why I think I can say they’re one and the same.

>>21912776
What do you mean? can you redirect an anger with no outlet towards something? of course.

>>21912780
Happiness isn’t my goal.

>>21912723
I had the same thought once, for hentai specifically.
>what does that mean?
Nothing. It means that humans are flawed animals, which we already knew.

>>21912807
So are we like the Jewel Beetle though? We end up creating man made porn so enticing that we all end up humping our hands and staring at our screens then propagating the species?

>>21912784
It really wasn't about how many things you tried, it was more about showing that there are things you haven't even considered trying. Knowing yourself is all well and good and Im sure it helps narrow things down but you can only eliminate paths you actually know about with any kind of accuracy. Im willing to bet there are people out there doing things you have never considered it was even possible to survive that way, and Im willing to bet one of those things is what you need. Im also willing to bet that maybe some of those things you are writing off are actually not as bad as you think because there is some aspect to them you are not seeing. But you seem to be pretty intent to assume that you already have all the information there is to have and resigned to fate. I wish you well anon. But that hubris is something you need to exercise from yourself before you can make any meaningful progress.

My single biggest regret is being lazy unironically. My work ethic was great for about 2 years between 2017 and 2019 but I half assed everything else.

>>21912776
I mean if you are willing to entertain the idea of suicide I would say that its a little more than an impotent rage you are working with too.

>>21912816
You’re definitely right there are things I’ve never tried and never considered trying, but there are too many things to ever try in a single lifetime realistically. I think trying a wide array of things while studying yourself and the world is a better strategy so you can pick and chose your hopes and dreams and that’s what I’ve done. Do I have regrets? Tons. Terrible regrets. One thing I don’t regret is taking that approach.

>>21912793
I have no idea how to redirect it, hence me calling it impotent. Its just an existential anger which I know does or changes absolutely nothing (regarding the past) yet I still feel angry.

>>21912776
Yes, what makes anger impotent isn't the energy, its the futility of how its being used/expressed. A lot of /x/ users will then talk about "emotional alchemy" or "feelings magic" but the fact of the matter is that you can take that anger and apply it to what you are doing, which in turn makes you better.

>>21912814
The real limit to procreation is financial stress and ambition. Porn will never make sex obsolete, as it also serves as an advertisement. It only works because people imagine what the real thing is like.

>>21912829
Okay so continue taking that approach. It sounds like thats all you need. I don't know what the resistance was about. Try until you die of natural causes. According to yourself you will never run out of new things, and you can never know if any of those things you haven't considered are for you until you try them. So it seems like the only road to go.

>>21912828
The past is the past. Can't do anything about it other than start something now that you can look forward to looking back on instead. Use the anger to keep you uncomfortable in your current state enough to steel your nerves against the slight fear of attempting something new is my best advice for redirecting your anger until you come up with something more concrete (even if that requires you flip a coin or throw are dart on a map).

>>21912844
I know we aren't beetles but the parallel I'm trying to draw here is that the retard Beetles nearly humped themselves to extinction because of beer bottles left on the ground. With that being said, I understand that money and ambition are a part of it, but why even find someone to have sex with when you can please yourself? Sure it isn't a 1:1 thing, but with the amount of men hitting 30 and still being virgins, you can't really miss something you have never had and probably have a lot of negative emotions around because they have been unable to get it, may end up compounding into a similar effect.
I don't know, maybe I'm talking out of my ass I'm just really curious to know if super stimuli is really bad for you or not. I'm kinda leaning towards left but it includes a lot of things that most people don't see as "bad" such as anime, drawings with big eyes, stuffed animals.

>>21912831
It might sound silly but I have no idea why Im angry at thing that I cannot change anymore. I probably need therapy.

>>21912858
Well the resistance is more about regret than lack of a forward thinking plan. Sometimes I feel like I know what I want quite clearly but I already fucked it up without knowing.

>>21912805
What are your specific goals then? Try going into detail for once in you life.

>>21912365
I am in despair

>>21912884
very common, do a feelings journal (ik it sounds gay) but it will help you understand your emotions better. You could meditate too, that is basically self-therapy but I would highly advise finding a mentor for that or constantly read/watch youtube videos about it to not only make sure you are doing it right, but you can avoid potholes and help explain certain things that happen to you while you are doing it. You could also go for walks alone (no music allowed) or sit alone with some pen and paper and let yourself become bored and start writing shit out. There are tons of ways both guided and solo you can do to figure yourself out better.

>>21912888
I want to be successful in my chosen field and I want to leave a legacy in it.

>>21912713
I read it. It was okay I guess, but Bunny Munro was an asshole and I didn't like him.

>>21912893
>"You in disrepair, well Anon, lucky for you your Dad can fix you right up."

The inhuman nature of it! The inescapable labyrinth! Where can a sinful man find respite? Where is his island, where lies the cool of his shade, how may he escape Nebuchadnezzar's furnace? In his heart there is an ever-shrinking man, an outline of a man, a bright polished mirror for the radiance of God, a man who is not the light but without whom the light could not reach so far. In his heart also, a breath apart, there is an ever-empty man, a hole of a man, a bottomless pit of desire which demands, which urges, which hungers for it knows not what, save for the need to find ever-lower depths of desire to plunge to. In a man's heart, which of these is truely him? He has only to brush one or the other, infinitesimally bending, to actualize it. How easy it is, how lightly he chooses!

Im rewatching the dark knight and that "some men just want to watch the world burn" scene caught my attention. The story goes that Alfred was in burma with his buddies working with the government on expanding their control over local tribes. They tried to do that by bribing them with precious stones. But some sole agent was stopping that by raiding the caravans and then throwing the stones away.
Now, hes out there in burma trying to expand anglo imperialistic power, that part he admits. Then he admits that they tried to achieve that with bribe, that also he admits. And he has the nerve to call someone who opposed that "a man who just wants to watch the world burn"?
My other huge issue is that maybe that man didn't have a weakness of falling for "guest's gifts", which are probably something they dont need at all. Weakness that man didn't have. Which he used for preserving whatever they had going on there, i dont know about much about burma

>>21912898
>make sure you are doing it right, but you can avoid potholes
What do you mean by it? How can meditation end up in a pothole? Also, thanks for suggestions. I do keep a diary.

>>21912893
Why?

>>21912885
Oh I see. Thats a pretty common concern. But the problem with it is assuming that there is only one thing you would like in this world. It is a hard thing to shake. Especially if that thing requires something grandiose like fame and fortune. You might do with trying to boil down that thing you think you want to what it would give you and see if you can't think of anything that might give you something similar.

>>21912893
Stop it.

>>21912915
I've been trying to find a new place for two fucking years and no one wants to rent to me and now I've got 5months to pull it off somehow. I also didn't pay fucking amazon for a couple months, and they want to drag me to court. I paid the balance, but I'm worried it didn't arrive on time and I'm just generally miserable right now and I can't do anything

>>21912921
I’ve actually done this and ended up finding another interest as a result, it’s still more or less the same. I think that’s just the way it is.

I really don't understand how people do it

>>21912913
Without writing an essay about it the basic trap a lot of people fall into is that they get attached to it feeling good, which ironically also gets in the way of meditation. Some meditation sessions are great, others aren't so great and kind of suck. As long as you learn to distance yourself from the emotions you feel while meditating and get the proper advice on why its happening you should be fine. Even if you did meditation unguided its a completely harmless thing to do but when people get attached they lock themselves out of deeper and crazier meditations. Also hearing audio hallucinations and people talking when you get into deep meditation the first couple of times is normal. First time I did it I "felt" a breathe on my ear and a female voice whisper "Your alive." then the sound of a door shutting, which startled me and took me out of meditation (I generally keep all the doors in my apt. shut at all times unless I was going through them.) I then got up and grabbed a crowbar I had and patrolled the whole house scared pissed out of my mind that someone was in the APT with me but it was empty. Stuff like that.

>>21913024
>sit down
>let the toilet seat spread your ass cheeks
>don't push, let it come
>wipe hole it came out of with nearby soft paper (usually on a roll)

>>21913029
>don't push, let it come
I thought the same 5 years ago and I think I fucked up

>>21913029
>not standing up
dude I swear all you guys have tiny dicks. There is no way I can wipe sitting down without having to stand up.

>>21913027
What does your meditation look like position and time wise?
>attached to emotions
Is it a good thing to find emotions if you're running from them irl?

>>21913032
I knew someone who worked emergency dispatch and she said a surprising amount of people blow a gasket and die while shitting, I guess from pushing

I never push, I have a whole series of techniques that make it unnecessary

>>21913033
I stand up and wipe from between my legs by bending over like a Japanese worker meeting his strict boss.

Do asian men make good girlfriends?

I hate university so fucking much

>>21913035
>What does your meditation look like position and time wise?
If your new, don't worry about position. Sit in a chair, lay on your bed, lay on the floor. What every is comfortable for you. Also don't worry about time either. Start with 10 minutes and it your mind freaks the fuck out and starts racing and you can't even sit there for 10 minutes without opening your eyes to look at your phone, cut it to 5 minutes then increase a minute or 2 every week.
What you should be worried about is what kind of meditation you'll want to practice. I started out with mindfulness as its the most common in the West, one of the easiest/less esoteric ones, and one of the more secularized ones. Since then I have moved on to 3 hours of meditating a day doing Embryonic Meditation. There are many different forms, you can mix and match them if you'd like. Oh and the most common thing people who are new to meditation don't know or think about. Is that you can meditate with your eyes open, its called "moving meditation" I do it on my walks, gardening, cleaning, running/working out dishes, doing laundry, driving. Basically anything mindless and automatic. If you do moving meditation and you feel like your "teleporting" around that is normal and over time it goes away too.
>Is it a good thing to find emotions if you're running from them irl?
Yes, it allows you to process them. No, it won't be easy. But if you give it time you'll find your baseline emotion will be content most of the time. If you think of your mind like a lake or a bucket filled with water. Without meditation your mind rages like the sea with waves crashing about all over the place and into one another, its hard to think in that environment. But with meditation you'll notice those waves will occur less and less often both in and out of meditation, you'll have room in your head to think without intrusive thoughts or emotions crashing in and muddling your mind.

>>21913060
Big thanks anon. I'll try meditating tomorrow as its almost 1 am here and I cant fall asleep for an hour again.

>>21912365
>cheap, high quality products on etsy
>shipping 40€+

>>21912365
>be me
>get in my favorite chair
>wrap up in a blanket
>read a book
>aw yiss feels good man
>DISASTER!
>have to piss
>have to get out of my blanket
>have to get out of my chair
>have to go to the bathroom to piss
>piss
>get back in chair
>wrap myself in blanket once more
>read
>in just a few hours I will have to piss AGAIN
How do I stop being such a pisslet? I am beginning to think that truly, the antinatalists are right...

How quick does /lit/ go through pens? I'm going through 1.5 a month.

>>21912989
Thats just evidence that that thing you think you want isn't actually what you want in my mind. I really think you need something completely out of left field to shake you out of this. Thats scary though. I wish you luck.

>>21912365
>>21912377
TWILIGHT
I ONLY MEANT TO STAY A WHILE

Becoming a college administrator without a graduate degree was so stupid

>>21913358
not if you use the tuition stipend to get your grad degree. working at a college is always an absurd affair tho so not recommended, free masters or not.

>>21913366
They only allow you to use the credit if you go part-time, meaning you’ll spend at least two years on a Master’s degree and at least eight years on a PhD. Within academia, master’s degrees are practically useless for all but a few fields. Honestly, I just wish I never entered the industry, or I wish I had quit right away and done something else.

>>21913382
you said being a college administrator without a graduate degree is so stupid, not that master's degrees are practically useless in higher ed. sounds like you're constructed some weird copes. either change careers, or get the higher ed admin master's. so what if it takes two years? how many years have you been working in higher ed already with nothing to show for it?

>>21913407
4 years. By the time I decided on a Master’s program, the COVID lockdowns put everything online and I lost interest. My job also converted to remote and I spent the next 3 years traveling and doing some writing here and there.

My state is planning to make sexual battery (aka molestation over or under clothing) a capital offense.

I don't think they thought it through. Because I fear that it will create the mindset that if such a relatively minor offense has the same penalty as serial murder, the criminal will think it best just to kill the victim to better the odds of covering up the crime. Especially since they can only kill you once.

I also don't think it's justice to kill someone for grabbing a ass.

Regardless I am kinda glad I don't have kids, because if this policy goes through it's going to lead to more kids being disappeared not less.

>>21913427
They’re really going to make pinching a butt carry the same penalty as serial murder?

>>21913427
>Especially since they can only kill you once
Some places do no consecutive sentences for murder so you can shoot all the witnesses to a murder and miss a CCTV feed and you're only getting done for the first murder even though they have you on tape killing everybody in the room.

Just wanted to say thank you to an anon from the last thread.

>>21913437
They are going full think of the children mode and changing a whole list of laws including massively expanding the death penalty and shrinking abortion like they are trying to balance some sort of sacrificial scale.
It's emotion in politics instead of reason.
Though mostly I care about results. I read (and for a short time wrote) about true crime topics and seen that when you give minor crimes huge penalties people who commit those crimes will then commit far worse crimes to cover up minor crimes.
Happens in China a lot. If you ever see the videos of drivers who accidentally bump someone with their car, then intentionally run them over to make sure the person is dead before running away. That's basically what's going on.

i just spent 30 minutes in my dorm chaining poppers and jacking off back and forth between trans porn and inflation porn. I had steely dan going the entire time. I've got a headache and as of late the more poppers i've done i'm seeing yellow spots in my vision. I gotta get my life back on track dude. I haven't written anything decent in weeks although I've been reading. I have so much I want to spew onto paper but I just find it impossible to put it down.

>>21913487
We do everything wrong in law enforcement. I’ve not seen research on lower penalties for less severe crimes, but when it comes to aggressively policing less severe crimes the research shows clearly that being more aggressive stops crime. But the trend in prosecuting now is to be lenient on minor crimes. Fewer arrests, fewer prosecutions, and more severe penalties. It makes no sense.

>>21913495
Yeah you don't need to get more retarded. At least do better drugs and get someone to suck you off

>>21913536
do poppers make your brain more fucked? i know whippets do but from the research ive done the biggest chance of risk is stuff relating to vision damage and blood cell damage.
as for the second thing working on it

Is there a more annoying sound than a dog barking?
I wish people who let their dogs bark for no reason at night would get a big fat fine

>>21913587
Makes me want to put some rat poison rolled up in ham and give it to them

>>21913437
Women are going to kill the world at this rate
>>21913487
Hume was a mistake

>>21913514
I agree with you in many ways.

Just being significantly more consistent in enforcement, prosecution, and investigation of low level crime with reasonable penalties when guilt is found works.
Our current system that is sporadic arbitrary and sometimes overly lenient and other absurdly severe has produced shit results all around.
What's even the point of increasing the penalty of a crime if it's a roll of the dice that the crime in question will even be investigated since the vast majority of cases don't have any physical evidence and are very hard to prosecute.

Just making and changing laws for the political sound bite and short term approval with donors who don't know what they're doing.

>>21912599
My back hurts a bit (old age) and trying to figure whether I should finish reading Kierkegaard or just start Sex And Culture by J.D. Unwin

>>21913487
>Happens in China a lot. If you ever see the videos of drivers who accidentally bump someone with their car, then intentionally run them over to make sure the person is dead before running away. That's basically what's going on.
Well I wouldn't want to pay for that fucker's healthcare for the rest of my life either and the penalty for killing someone in china is actually more affordable than it is hurting them then paying their healthcare for forever. Also if this in the whole UK thing, I just recommend that men flee the country or leave society and just do the bare minimum. Enough anger will foment that an anti-feminist platformed Prime Minister will be elected like in South Korea.

>>21913585
You have blood cells in your brain for a reason dumbass. Get some weed and some hippy chick to love you

>>21913585
>Are drugs bad?
...Yes Anon... Drugs are bad...

The only reason horseshoe theory exists is because most people are ignorant that socialism and fascism are both strange tangents diverging from the real ideological through-line of history which has always been elitism versus egalitarianism.

>>21913638
>most people are ignorant that socialism and fascism
People have a really hard time with defining facism when you tell them that Nazism was a form of fascim much like how socialism is a form of communism. Take that away and they kind of flounder around until you tell them Nazi is an acronym for "National Socialist" in German and that most Fascists saw themselves as Socialists but for their Nation, not for the world.

>>21913645
thanks for the nonsequitur

>>21912365
I'm greatly upset that my porn addiction has lead me into putting my debit card details into a scummy site. Figured out how to cancel, but now my paranoia will have me nuke my checking account. Eye-opening moment in my life, haven't been looking at porn sites all week.

Am greatly depressing how prolonged internet use and forum posting has deteriorated my grammar and spelling ability to a worrying degree. I've had to use autocorrect about 7 times while typing this.

>>21913651
You seemed to miss the point of why I posted that, they are basically the same thing.

>>21913652
>Am greatly depressing
See? This is what I'm talking about. Greatly DEPRESSED, yet my mind did NOT notice that. I no longer have the attention span to proofread properly.

>>21913654
and that doesn't really connect to the point I was making which is that said false dichotomy is a distraction from the reality of history. Please try to read the entire post before you respond. I know this is /lit/ and reading is hard, but just try.

>>21913664
I ignored it because it didn't really mean anything. Its like claim the sky is blue.

>>21913670
>I ignored it
but you responded to the other obvious thing because... it may you feel smart?

>>21913676
>it may you feel smart?
yes it may me very samart :^)

>>21913208
get some reading diapers

If you're thinking about taking a risk and throwing away a job to be that starving poet or painter and you're young, this is your sign to just do it. You'll regret it if you don't.

>>21913638
Fascism is a form of socialism.
And no history isn't elitism versus egalitarianism.
Just saying something that stupid requires a level of historical revisionism that it would make alternative history writers look at you funny.

>>21913437
If anything such a law, if enforced, would discourage degenerates from groping and encourage screechers and tattle tellers who complain about gropers. People are that easy to corral.
Murder is already illegal so it won’t cause an uptick in dead kids more than anything else already does. Fuck off sympathizing with degenerate gropers.

There's been a common theme in my entire adult life and that's committing to something without deeply thinking about it and then either failing or getting bored and abandoning it. It started in college and it never changed.

>>21912365
Can someone just tell me in clear terms what the correct religion is? Thanks.

>>21913722
I have never understood this.
There is no reason why you can't do art as a part time thing until you make it or settle for just being a hobbyist.
Destroying yourself for art might sound like a cool story but it's stupid.
You will likely be better off having income from a normal job to fund your artistic pursuits.
Do you know how hard it is to advertise with no money? How much it slows you down when you can't afford decent supplies? How much it hurts a potential career not being able to go to events and network with people in the industry?

>>21913741
Literally no one thinks you are sincere.
Your performative outrage is just a waste of time.

>>21913750
No.

Last summer, an incident occured where I believed I sexually assaulted a close friend. She denied it, but asked that I stay away. I didn't believe her for a minute so I publicly outed myself as an abuser, rapist, and narcissist. The long story short is I'm now on antipsychotics. I still don't really leave the house much for fear of running into her or anyone who knows her, which is much or most of the city.
I don't know what I'm doing alive, but I can't kill myself because then I'll just be a psycho who shamed his family killing himself for a crime nobody thinks he committed, even though I'm sure I did.
One interesting consequence is that I find myself largely unable to write poetry now. I feel a large sense of loss, but also rage at my former self —if I can no longer write poetry in this state, then that proves that nothing I ever produced belonged outside of the narrow cage of my sick self, and was therefore never worth a whit.
I am not looking for pity or forgiveness or absolution. I just need someone to believe I'm as terrible of a criminal as I believe I am, so that all of this hasn't been in vain. I know this is shallow and inconsequential. Sorry for taking up your time

damn I have to be vulnerable with a girl for the first time in my life tomorrow

wish me luck bros

>>21913767
Poetry is the very lowest form of "art".
Maybe it's time you move on to better and more productive forms of expression.

>>21913769
Why do you have to be vulnerable with a girl?

>>21912629
Whoa

So tired of being a clown.

>>21913776
You are an even lower lifeform than me and I am a literal rapist

>>21913796
Prove it

>>21913755
There is no reason you can't do it on the side, but some people will want to go into it full tilt, and frankly, I think that's a good idea because if you're an artist, you should be adventurous and take big risks while you're young. I also just think that regular life now can be so inert and boring that it can actually hurt you as an artist. I look at someone like Cormac McCarthy and I just know that part of the reason he was able to write Blood Meridian is that he when he was young, he was guarding gates on military bases in Alaska, living in a shack with no running water in the Smoky Mountains, hanging out in the Southwest. That kind of stuff makes good art. Getting an accounting degree and doing the 9 to 5 at a soul-crushing accounting job at a big accounting firm for 10 years will just destroy you, both as an artist and a person. A lot of people don't realize this until it's too late.

Sometimes I think about trying to a job like my old one.

Man, COVID lockdowns really fucked me over. I never quite recovered from that.

>>21913803
I will be frank.
You sound like a idiot.

>>21913755
He's not being practical. Almost all artists need to make money. Art supplies cost money. It's like having a second drug habit if you're making anything. And I really don't recommend making your own blues or greens if you've any sort of drug habit or absentmindedness because you're just asking to Turing and the apple yourself. Feel free to take up turning tricks if it gets you enough cash to let other people grow your madder and buy it in a tube.

>>21913837
You may think I am an idiot, but it does not change the fact that I am right and you are wrong. Your resorting to insults only proves it.

>>21913778
I want to be with her and I need to tell her that and I need to kiss her.

>>21913854
Art is not that expensive. I've been drawing and painting since I am 16. I'm in an art store maybe once every couple of months and never spend more than I spend in a single month on groceries. It's only expensive if you buy high-end supplies or a tablet, the latter of which is s one-time purchase. To write, all you need is a pen and paper or a cheap laptop.

>>21913874
Kawaii

>>21913874
I see and understand.
I wish you luck in your romantic pursuit.

>>21913878
>Why would anyone need to grow madder
Someone needs to stab you

This place fucking sucks. Too bad Im not going to change my cognition or behavior to avoid it. See you tomorrow gents.

>>21913885
You may cope and seethe but I am still right.

I wish I could get in a time machine and go back to 2020.

>>21913890
Honestly the fact you want the cheap alizarin says more about your ability to appreciate art than you'd know as a hobbyist.

>>21913767
Hey, Henry? I remember you. I’m sorry things aren’t going well. Your poetry was some of the best I’ve seen on lit. Sexual politics and consent are nebulous and messy concepts. Having a sexual encounter with someone else where they felt upset afterwards doesn’t make you a rapist. If the girl herself says she doesn’t think it was rape then it doesn’t benefit you to convince yourself that it was. Unless you violently forced yourself on her while she actively protested and resisted, you’re not a terrible criminal. If you just got a bit pushy and she acquiesced and later felt icky about it then that’s a pretty normal case of shitty behavior, not an unforgivable crime. Drunken sex followed by regret is a common experience. Reconstructing your identity as a rapist is not helping you.

>>21913901
For me, it's 2015

>>21913800
>rapes you

Pretty sure the girl who was losing her shit in the last thread had a sadistic /adv/ poster pretend to be the guy she’s looking for and terrorize her into killing herself. Nothing I can do to help or even find out if she’s ok. I hate this hellsite.

Well, last night I was only going to have 1 or 2 drinks. The reason being that I'm sick of losing my weekends to hangovers. I even organised it because my friend had to leave early, so I was going to stop drinking when he left and wrap the night up there. Of course, I had my 2 and then on my way home was so stupid I hit up my housemate to go drinking near our flat. We went to 3 bars, got wasted and drank even more at home.

So now I wake up on Saturday and I'm incredibly hungover. I've forced myself to the library in an attempt to get some writing done but even if I manage to get some words down I wont be anywhere near as productive as if I werent hungover. Why do I do this to myself? I can't for the life of me ever stop the night from turning into a blow out and then I lose my entire weekend.

>>21913886
ya this place blows but i mean what else is there

This album just came out, el-michels affair is a jazz hip-hop band I’ve been following for a while, I really like them, and black thought is, I think, one of the best rappers who’ve ever done it, he’s in my top 4, them collaborating on an album is very hype. I recommend listening to it, even if you’re iffy on rap, I think the groove on it speaks for itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz5Xqso7tCI&pp=ygUfZWwgbWljaGVscyBhZmZhaXIgZ2xvcmlvdXMgZ2FtZQ%3D%3D

I think being unallowed/unable to think in racial terms makes it hard for people to grasp how the world really works. Take Russia for example. Russians are incompetent but very hard to beat on the battlefield, so the normies chalk up Russia's persistence in Ukraine to sheer numbers when in fact its Ukraine who actually enjoys numerical superiority on the battlefield. What's actually going on there is that Russians are somewhat unique in being high IQ (they're substantially more intelligent than Ukrainians) and extremely tough, while also being lazy, cynical, and unscrupulous, so what you get is this weird county whose military is run like shit but who would still fuck you up in combat anyway. The Russians are incompetent, but not like Italy or Arab incompetent. France is kinda like Russia in terms of being lazy and cynical too, it's why the French have a reputation for being sloppy too despite being high IQ.

>>21914042
You think she actually did it? God I hope not. She’s clearly unwell.

>>21914106
I think someone already invented the board game Risk but in a more marketable fashion.

>>21913909
Yes, it's me. If it isn't bleedingly obvious by my behaviors and psychoses I was fondled as a kid by a family friend who remains in contact whether I like it or not. Therefore I am going to conflate what I did with what she did no matter what. All my life will be a lead up to the cosmic destruction that may never come. Or maybe the antipsychotics are that destruction. At least I'm still quinquelingual.

>>21912397
and?

>>21914165
Do you need someone to talk to? If you share a temp email here I’ll send you the info so we can talk on Telegram.

I am slightly jealous of people who go to publish young.

>>21914008
Why?

I think I can get a job in my old industry and make a lot of money again.

man those susan wise bauer world history books are underrated. the audiobooks are extra comfy too being read by john lee. it's like durant's story of civilization but condensed into three volumes yet in some ways broader in scope with diversions into east asia, south asia, even africa. i'm impressed.

>>21912365
Why am I like this bros? Often when I talk to a stranger tears start welling in my eyes involuntarily or just when I am walking around big open public spaces.
Everything frightens me. I feel so tiny. I dislike being in the city it's overwhelming.
I only feel comfortable alone at home. Someday I think it'd be nice to live in the country peace and quiet. Not having to deal with a thousand faces stare at me on a 5 minute walk.
How do normal people manage to take everything in stride?

>>21912365
Anyone notice that /lit/ has moved from silly memes and copypastas to just outright political bait and hostile camps? I remember it not being like the latter 7 years ago.

>>21914261
What industry?

>>21914261
What industry?

>>21914410
Not everyone is cut out for the city and thats OK. But like anything in life exposure is the only way to get over a phobia. You need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations long enough and frequently enough to have a breakthrough.

>>21912365

i'm inexperienced and immature. i am really stupid, i can't deal with things everyone is easily able to deal with. i don't know how to moderate my vices or control my temptations. i feel humbled and embarrassed after a conversation with older family members and family friends

>>21912365
Took two edibles earlier for the thirst time. Honestly it's awfu.
I just feel vaguely spaced out and kind of paranoid and like I'm having to concentrate insanely hard just to type these words. Time is going by slower. And I am shiveing uncontrollably as well.
Wtf why do people voluntarily choose to do this to themselves?

>>21914042
the world is too cruel. sometimes it's too much for me to bear. maybe it's an unsightly for a grown man to express, but these things make me want to just curl up and die. it's all just too sad

>>21914552
it's ok if you don't enjoy it. put simply, it means you are built different. only thing to do now is ride out the mild unpleasantries and await the return of normalcy. try not to shiver too much, anon

>>21914042
I hope she is okay.

one underrated thing about the history of the internet (will be the one underrated thing) is that people can post their opinions about current events and the future shouldn't be allowed to make generalizations like "oh everyone from that generation of 2000-2100 were major fags and supported faggotry, when like no, you can search through internet archives and realize people could have said completely different things. it's just the people in power who allowed the faggotry to exist

i could really use some wisdom right about now. i need a guide to come and take me by the hand

>>21913750
Go to your local Catholic and Orthodox churches and attens a couple services each, ask the priests questions, see how the laity behave and how they live their faith. You can make a decision from there.

>>21914247
Just personal nostalgia that is more than likely misplaced.

>>21914603
what do you need wisdom to help with

>>21914552
This is why I don't do marijuana. I'm already paranoid and forgetful enough as it is! At least you don't have to deal with the paranoia of "OH MY GOD THIS STUFF *STINKS*!!! EVERYONE FOR A MILE AROUND KNOWS I'M HIGH NOW!!!"
Mild opiates + GABAergics > psychedelic cannibis.

Cannabis is good for those once a month breakdown things where you seriously examine your life and all the wacky shit that pot dreges up from your preconscious and etc.
That first hour, whew!
Like going through an inquisition! OH MY GOD I AM *SUCH* AN ASSHOLE, I'M NOT LIVING MY LIFE RIGHT!!! AHHHH

I live in a third world country and I'm constantly bullied for my neutral accent and liberal vocabulary. What do guys? How do I train myself to sound more retarded?

>>21914042
I could have saved her and performed cunnilingus on her bros my perfect angel my heavenly female who graced my presence on an imageboard. I could have had some gnarly gnash, some chan tang. Some hairy hash. I could have been inside of her and smelling her pheromones, and maybe hasn't even had many guys you know? hehe, but seriously I'm a book wormy artsy type so I'm actually pretty non threatening also there's this weird buzz in my head making me feel a slight high right now, I need to reference something putrid

>>21914725
I’m not white knighting or idolizing her for being a woman. I’m gay. Just hate to see a mentally unwell person get antagonized like that. It’s horrible for anyone to have a break with reality whether man or woman. Wanting a fellow human to stay alive and get help isn’t simping, just basic decency.

>>21914725
You are a sick freak.

>>21914683
i'm so lost that i don't really know where i'm trying to go. i feel like a total goober. i can't possibly hope to formulate the questions i'd like to ask. i don't know. i'm drunk

>>21914761
just try

just bought a cigarette etui so I'm feeling fancy

>>21914723
Watch stand-up comedians from your country.

I kissed a girl bros! It was fun and she was cute. I wasn’t sure if I did a good job but she said I was cute. Am I, dare I say it, going to make it?

I can think of few ideas more destructive than the idea of education as something that "edifies" the spirit of people who go through with it rather than educated people being usually sociologically more likely to be the beneficiaries of the system in which they are educated and therefore interested in its continuation as its bureaucrat middle class. The liberal idea of education, besides being completely ignorant of the issue of education as an institution of indoctrination towards the ideology of the state or whatever NGO pays for the aforementioned institutions of education, fails to account for the fact that wherever institutions of educations sprang up, they had an extremely high tendency towards the creation of educated classes who mirrored the ideology of whoever controlled those institutions. Educated chinese in the middle ages all internalized and promoted the confucian idea of the scholar-bureaucrat, educated indians all upheld the ideal of brahminist supremacy and emphasized the importance of the caste system, the muslim ulema all adhered to muslim values, and the medieval universities practically without exceptions produced an educated class that was faithful to the catholic church. Education is like a sculptor that shapes clay rather than something which makes gold out of clay.

>>21914856

That's pretty gay dude

>>21914856
>having stable life and relationship
take the next step and leave 4chan so you don't have to harass us with your happiness.

>>21912365
This is the second week in a row where my dreams are plagued by the people I cut out of my life. Once again it's my exes but surprisingly family members have been traded in for old friends.
Wondering what to do.

I stopped playign video games and now when I sliten to podcasts and I'm not walking or doing chores I don't know what to do now. I guess once I'm on top of my podcasts I'll just stop listening to them as well?

>>21914911
Well this happiness is really fleeting. I’m already coming down from the high of it all. I still believe i’m stuck here forever.

>>21912713
I've purposefully avoided his books because I am very fond of his songwriting, and have more than a creeping suspicion that his books would somewhat ruin that for me.

>>21914962
glad to have you back ;^)

>>21912365
every since i mentioned here that i was finding chess at 1400 difficult the chess engine i’m using has become much easier to beat, 2/3 games at 1400 difficulty have been wins for me so far

Its time for me to move on

>>21915013
No, stay awhile, pick a book and read!

>>21915014
No. It is time.

>>21915018
I insist, what book would you like to read?

>>21915019
I didn't set the time. It was set for me. I must go.

>>21915021
It can surely wait, what is life without a little relaxation? I can make so tea if you would like?

?
I'm running LLaMA 7b-4bit on kobold.cpp

>>21915023
No, fuck off, I'm trying to move on

>>21915034
Whoa, no need to be rude! See this is why you should just take a break and relax. Your so on edge and pent up! Sit down and read a book, won't you?

>>21913060
I try to do it "properly" by sitting upright but I find it's very difficult to be comfortable that way. But if I get comfortable (slouch a bit and lean on the wall) then I fall asleep. Also my heartbeat and breathing are distracting. I'm pretty new as you can probably tell, do you have any advice about those things

I'm so gassy. I cant stop farting.

>>21915249
Stop eating like shit. Farting is disgusting.

>>21915255
Pfffffffttttttttt

>>21915255
stop eating. shitting is disgusting

>>21915283
*slaps you with gloves to avoid contamination with your shit particles“

>>21915284
I fully agree. You should too.

How do I get my subconscious active again? Last year or so I was much more engaged with it, getting more ideas from it, pondering more of that stuff in the background. Is it diet or something? My dreams are less imaginitive and I do not remember them now, what can I do to enhance my subconcious?

>>21915301
I start dreaming again when i get my stuff together. If i feel overwhelmed, my creativity is non existent. When i am on top of things, i am overflowing. Maybe try sorting out your paper work and fold the laundry.

>hates christ
>bro why doesn't christ help me
>bro why am i depressed

>>21915305
who are you quoting

>>21915305
Good idea, I will get drunk tonight and wake up at 7:00 tomorrow to do get my shit in order

>>21915321
>>21915304
quoted wrong person

>>21915321
>gets drunk
>i‘ll start tomorrow
>wonders why he can not create
Oof

>>21915125
>I try to do it "properly" by sitting upright but I find it's very difficult to be comfortable that way.
you can lay down
>But if I get comfortable (slouch a bit and lean on the wall) then I fall asleep.
Then you needed the sleep, don't beat yourself up if you fall alseep it happens and its normal. It also means that a lot of your emotional problems might stem from a lack of sleep. Get a sleeping schedule going and look into "sleep hygiene" to get the best quality sleep. As for meditation, try not to fall asleep but if you do its okay, don't try to force anything.
>Also my heartbeat and breathing are distracting.
You can focus on your heartbeat or your breath if you would like, with time you won't be distracted anymore by it. Your brain isn't use to doing "nothing" so its sperging out and trying to focus on anything going on. Do not force your focus but just gently guide it back to either thinking about nothing or concentrating on your breath or your heartbeat.
Other than that don't stress out too much about "I'm I doing it right" its kind of a personal journey because all of our brains are unique. If your struggling with 10 minutes cut it down to 5. You can do it multiple times a day too if you would like.
If you get impatient with it you can always look up the Wim Hof method of meditation. Well it falls more under breathe work but it is a more secular thing and not caught up in another religion's metaphysics so I like to recommend that to dogmatic Christians who fear straying too far or think mysticism means they'll go to hell or cast fireballs or something.

>>21915321
>I want to make my life better
>throws today away to make tomorrow more painful
I'd recommend you have 2 then 2 full glasses of water that way you aren't hung over when you want to get your shit together. Also as someone who use to drink heavily, so much so, that I got tremor when I didn't drink, which is the early warning signs of addiction. I gradually just started drinking less to the point where I rarely drink now. You'll be amazed how less fat, bloated, and inflamed your gut and face will be when you stop. I lost nearly 10 lbs of water weight from all the drinking + inflammation I was carrying around with me.

>>21914042
Kek based fuck roasties

>>21915383
Thanks. How long has your journey been?
>sleep hygiene
Interesting, as I think already that I sleep too much, like >9 hours and still can easily nap during the day. I will start googling this to see what the deal is.

>>21915477
>Thanks, How long has your journey been?
Uhhhhhhhhhh I started doing it in college when I went cocoon mode. Um, So around 8 or 9 years give or take? What I like about it other than the peace of mind and being able to think clearly is that it makes doing things I find hard so much easier, I'm more productive... Uhh, I need less sleep so I'm more productive. Today I only slept for I think 3 or 4 hours (traditionally how much Buddhist monks in the Theravada tradition sleep for.). But since I live with others who don't I usually just end up reading while I wait for them to wake up.
>Interesting, as I think already that I sleep too much, like >9 hours and still can easily nap during the day.
Sounds like you have low quality sleep then, you aren't getting deep enough or staying deep enough to get the rest you need

What causes "crazy eyes" in women? Like why do they do it and are they even aware that they do it? Is it some sort of tick?

>>21915545
SSRIs

>>21915545
Depends which kind of crazy eyes. It's always intense emotions but whether it's a stress response or just our natural predatory instincts as meat eaters varies from person to person.

>>21915553
I was watching a very boring seminar about the HVAC industry, I just had it on in the background as noise and the lady who owned the HVAC company was fucking bugging her eyes out so much when she talked that it looked like she didn't have eye lids. But when she was done and then listening to the host talk and ask her the next question her eyes went back to normal. So maybe she was stressed out she was on stage being interviewed? I didn't like her that much, I didn't like how she talked about the social manipulation tricks she uses to get customers to rebook and I didn't like how she talked about the customers, it came off as very fake/sleezy. But her fucking crazy eyes just annoyed me and made me like her less.

>>21915564
Stress of being on camera and/or selling lies will make a lot of people do that. You'll see it in a lot of salespeople, like they're begging you to believe them so they make commission because otherwise they'll need a new job.

>>21915545
it's selectively chosen.

men know not what they want until they dont want it anymore.

>>21915583
>women know not what they want until they dont want it anymore.
fix'd it for ya! No need to thank me, all in a day's work!

My first major setback was my first job after college.

>>21915606
Don't worry I graduate during covid so both my jobs after graduating have been dog shit.

>>21915597
>giving women a choice at all

son...i don't know where to start

>>21915635
Careful Anon, I don't want to have to go to reddit and tell on you...

>>21915643
seems like kind of a bitch response but whatever.

>t. not a bitch

>>21915646
...That was the point of the joke Anon...

>>21915653
sorry

I'm drinking again. I'm trying to quench the flames of existential anger.

>>21915653
I love this picture. Also you homos should kiss so us girls can get back to writing BL webcomics for fun and profit

>>21915656
Trying falling in love. It's a great cure for reality

>>21915656
instead of trying to tamp down on your anger find a way to harness it and let it motivate you to do productive things.
>>21915657
IKR, Little Nuns is great!

>>21915670
Me in the back with sunglasses on and eyes on the frog

>>21915663
Last time it happened, I found her making out with another guy and just walked for about 10 km in the blizzard with t-shirt. I'd rather leave this love matter for other people.
>>21915670
It doesnt want to harnessed.

>>21915685
>just walked for about 10 km in the blizzard with t-shirt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-4lXLM34g

>>21915693
Why this song in particular?

>>21915698
I'm saying you could get a novel out of that, Emily.

I'm a bit woried cause I noticed the hard part of my palate is a bit rough near the teeth, like it has micro spots in it.
Should I go to the doctor or am I just a big pussy?

>>21913767
Why do you believe you assaulted her? What was the history of your relationship like, and what exactly happened during the incident?

>>21915631
It was halfway to being a really good job on paper. Somehow that feels worse.

>>21915725
It sounds like psychosis delusions are involved and not just misunderstandings. It's possible he did something bad and she genuinely wants him to stay away but she otherwise understands it's because of his mental illness.

Personally I think he should err on the side of not trusting his thoughts until his mind is righted again. If you need to do penance for this, it's not a sin to do it in a year when you're well instead of now when you're clearly upsetting people more.

>>21915733
what is this mealy-mouthed bullshit. why can't people just talk anymore

I don’t know where to move.

>>21915781
to the rhythm of the night?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnT58cIJSpw

>>21915733
I’m asking him for his account of events, so I’m not interested in your conjecture. You weren’t involved and know nothing about what he did. You don’t know if his psychotic break occured before or after the event. Encouraging a mentally unwell person not to trust his own thoughts and insinuating that he’s upsetting others and did something bad will just worsen his mental state. He’s clearly lucid enough to explain his thoughts here, so I’m interested in hearing the full story in his own words before passing judgement. You’re being incredibly presumptuous and condescending.

>>21915704
no need to make fun of me

>>21915781
what options are you choosing between?

>>21915806
I'm not making fun of you. Wuthering Heights is peak gothic use of weather

>>21915827
Oh, I see. That makes sense. Sorry for taking it too personal.

>>21912365
not really going anywhere with the whole crows front in the last few days.

lot on my plate. lot on my plate.
does anyone know how to expediate work to other people without getting ripped off? (been ripped off twice now on fiverr by pakistanis delivering ridiculously low quality work...so ive been doing it myself so far..but its slow going)

i need funds, what else do i need in order to get the help i need?
is the smart move setting up a really good mission portfolio and selling to investors to get it going?

i still wouldn't know how to find really good talent, it's all funds and passion

>>21915858
Don't worry about it

I am currently being investigated by the federal government

I am thinking of putting a knife in this lump I have.
Started 6 months ago and I thought it was a zit at first.
Wouldn't pop and now it's some hard ass lump that annoys me.
I don't see what else to do other than cutting that shit off.

>>21915693
This song hurts my ears, who the fuck thought this was good?

>>21915909
Don’t use a knife unless you have a very sharp x-acto style blade. Use a needle and sterilize it with alcohol beforehand. Use an alcohol wipe on your skin as well.

>>21915909
does it hurt?

>>21915909
I wouldn't, that looks like a cyst or a benign lesion. Go to your doctors and have them check it out if its annoying you.

>Trad cats are now saying "Deus" instead of God because they want to be like the muslims how they only say Allah
I hate this timeline

>>21915810
I can go anywhere in the United States. I need to keep my rent below $2k, preferably below $1.5k.

>>21915947
If I remember correctly I did use a needle a while back but with no result, that's why I'm thinking of slicing that bitch off.
>>21915955
Not at all, it's kind of hard but no hurt.
>>21915962
I don't feel like going to a doctor for something this small.
Is there even a risk to knifing this bitch?

>>21916067
What happened to following the lessons of Jesus Christ?

>>21916086
>Is there even a risk to knifing this bitch?
Yes, if its a cyst it will leave a scar. If its something else it can grow back. Literally just deal with it till you go in for your yearly check up or something.

I will never amount to anything will I?

>>21916135
I haven't had a 'check up' in maybe 15 years, no need to when I'm 28 and in good health.
Scar is no big deal but maybe I'll wait. Rather a scar than this third nipple deal i have now.

I was planning on taking that $30k and taking a year off to write, but maybe I should buy an SUV and camp out of it instead.

These motherfucking L*gan shills make me so fucking angry. Some anon told me that this retarded subhuman has an exclusive discord server where he grooms his shills. Some time ago his shills even harassed Bernardo Kastrup after he took the bait for a "debate".

Mods should ban any discussion around this retarded hick.

I have a years' pay saved up. What should I do with it?

>>21916157
buy books

>>21916157
Do you have a stable permanent place to live
…for your growing book collection (unless you’re fine with digital and traveling light) those things get cumbersome to lug around if you’re not anchored to some places already.

What is the point of nonfiction reading? It's not like you reading is going to substantially change anything. It's just shitty entertainment that's not as good as fiction.

>>21916157
Donate it to the Cult of the Money Pyre. They always need cash to burn.

>>21916219
Whats the point of this post?
Is it fictional?

Tired of this fake argument between the two types of literature. There’s good and bad fiction and nonfiction. When done right they’re both equally excellent valid things to read through.
It’s seems so autistic to haggle over this. Like what you want.

>>21916157
>>21916150

>Got a couple of pages into Kant and I'm exhausted
I'm too dumb for this, maybe I should just turn on marvel-man 4 or whatever, Ando maybe

>>21916219
>What is the point of nonfiction reading?
There is a whole philosophy called Stoicism that actually recommends that you only read practical books that teach skills and/or practical knowledge and you should ignore all the other books as a waste of time.
>"Steer clear of Oratory, Poetry, and Belles-Lettres." - Marcus Aurelius
>"Discard your thirst for books so you won't die in bitterness, but in cheerfulness and truth." - Marcus Aurelius
I'm not saying he is right or that you are wrong. I tend to agree with Aurelius on it but I do still fiction, especially if people recommend fiction to me, but the bulk of my reading is more non-fiction/memoirs and practical based. That being said there is no real way to waste your time. Stoicism also says, despite calling for minimalism and temperance in every aspect of your life, that if you get joy out of doing something, don't give it up and keep doing it. Even if it conflicts with their tenants of minimalism, so live your life as you want.

>>21916257
its a heavy read, try reading 10 pages, let it sit for an hour or 2 and come back with a notebook and take notes on what you just read. Don't stress out if you have no idea wtf he is talking about on your first reading of it, if you misunderstand something write it down in a form of a note or a question and come back to it and try to answer it when you are doing the note taking phase. Kant is a pretty heavy read.

>>21915725
>>21915805
I posted about it here before about a year ago; the gist is that we had an on and off sexual relationship that seemed to be swinging towards off, and I effectively forced myself (knocked on the door, but I was already in the house) into her room to sleep next to her while I was having auditory hallucinations. No sex was involved, but she was clearly uncomfortable. She was stammering and shaking and slammed and locked the door behind me, and had me banned from all the major institutions (artistic, social) she was involved in. She didn't say a word until months after, which was to call me disgusting and a narcissist and nothing more

>>21912599
I'm doing better. Thanks for asking anon.

>>21912599
No, nor do I deserve to. It's fine.

>>21914690
> and all the wacky shit that pot dreges up from your preconscious and etc.
>That first hour, whew!
>Like going through an inquisition!
It was not what I expected. For the first hour it was just relaxing. Then after the first hour when it really started to kick in it felt like being painfully self-aware, like everything outside me took on big proportion, & like I was trapped in a kernel of myself. And it dredged up and dissected all this horrible shit in the background of my mind that I don't want to acknowledge. Feelings of impotence, insignificance, total aloneness, and lack of control. Like all that background shit came to the fore & then was magnified. My inability to connect, , and a sudden panic and despair for my future. That the only future in front of me is a mediocre one. I wont create anything that lasts. I need to create something that lasts beyond me and worship it. I don't know what I am doing all of this for. What if we are all alone each just particles and we each decay alone, and there you will find yourself alone having wasted what little time is allotted to you.
Disconnected, and when my parents die I will be without anyone for support. How will I survive and support myself in the future? Or maybe I will just fall by the wayside. I just blindly fumble forward through life without direction. It all passes by me. Life is fragile and can fall to pieces in an instant. I am insufficient. My brother has and will continue to surpass me in every way.
All the background nasty reflexive feelings I have towards others and myself were brought out: how I assume the world is nasty and people are out to get me. Suddenly I had a strong suspicion that a bullet was going to randomly fly through my window and kill me. And I felt that thinking that would make it happen.
Voices from my past: You know what I think you are .. . You are a sloth. You just let everything pass you by.
You really don't care about anything do you?
A strong sense of being watched and judged from without. How I fail to appreciate others.
Not like alcohol at all, much more introspective and kind of unsettling . Alcohol makes me feel pumped, megalomaniacal, euphoric, confident, and alternately lethargic in the last stage. With alcohol I still always mostly feel in control of the experience.
This felt more introspective and detached like my mind splitting from within, being dissected, and being forced out of the driver's seat, for me not a pleasant experience. It was like DXM, but not quite as strong.

>>21916289
>nor do I deserve to
Why not?

>>21916257
That's how one reads Kant, anon. It's fundamentally different from reading a novel. Don't lose heart. The exhaustion means you're reading him correctly.

>>21916298
I'm the schizo rapist

>>21912365
Tbh as I get older, I realised that women overall just have this nature in them to want to control things. The problem is, although they can get control very easily they more often than not aren't responsible with it. Or they misuse it that it leads to destruction.

It always starts in the homes, where they destroy the husband by making him a weaker (simp) version of himself just to survive her (remember that silly "happy wife happy life" motto that basically implies to give in to her for everything which then often backfires long term), or he ends up leaving. Then they free reign to impose their nature onto their kids and control them in some way. Sometimes it's done covertly, through excess coddling which they claim is "love" but then destroys the kids long term as it leaves them unprepared. Then the cycle continues where the daughters become like her by being controlling with future partners and kids, and the sons marry women like her, both thinking it's the normal way to be or striaght up become incels.

Seems to be the reason why a lot of issues in society stem from absentee father's or weak father's. I feel there really needs to be a balance of energies. Women need to be self aware of their nature and give up this controlling nature and men need to be strong enough to be able to HANDLE that nature so that it doesn't ruin their kids and protect them from it.

Why do you think women are the more neurotic, anxiety ridden types. It all stems from wanting to control things, or not being able to control things.

new
>>21916375
>>21916375

>>21916339
>Views nothing in good faith anymore; everything is fake until proven gay
Iunno why but that made me think of Sargon of Akkad and I just kinda laughed at that. Not that I'm a fan of Sargon really, but Iunno it make me heh.

>>21916267
Let’s look at the facts: You went to the home of a close friend with whom you had an on and off sexual relationship. You knocked, and then proceeded to go in to her room without waiting for express permission. At the time you were experiencing hallucinations, and presumably acting in a way that was noticeably strange or erratic. You then got in bed with her before she expressed discomfort and had you leave. Unless you’ve left things out, it doesn’t sound like there was a history of abuse within your relationship, and it doesn’t seem that any violence or physical force was involved in this encounter.

You’re not a rapist or a predator in any sense of the word. You did not have any forcible sexual contact with her or molest her. You did something inappropriate, overstepped her boundaries, and made her uncomfortable. This was wrong of you, but if you were actively hallucinating at the time then your judgement was obviously impaired. It’s understandable that she would be distressed and unsettled by your actions, but what you did is not evil in any way. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a criminal. You’re not disgusting. You have not done anything unforgivable. Your actions were the result of untreated mental illness.

You had some kind of sexual history with this girl, so I assume you’d spent the night at one another’s homes before. And you say she was a close friend, so she presumably knew about your mental health issues. Given that context, her reaction to what you did was cruel and unwarranted. Someone with a functioning moral compass who actually cared about you would probably have responded by expressing concern for your well-being, and tried to contact a friend or family member to come and accompany you to the hospital. It’s understandable that she might not feel comfortable continuing a relationship or friendship with you after what happened, but her decision to destroy your reputation and have you banned from your social and professional networks seems disproportionate.

Assuming you are telling the truth and not leaving out important context, you are not a narcissist Your deep remorse and self-hatred makes that very obvious. Unless you have a dark history you haven’t mentioned, you’re not an abuser either. You do not deserve to be hated by anyone. Please try to forgive yourself.

What was your friendship/relationship with this girl like before the event? How would you describe her character? From what you’ve said, I get the sense that she’s manipulative and has issues of her own, and that characterizing yourself as an evil perpetrator and her as an innocent victim is the result of distorted thinking that stems from your traumatic history as a survivor of child molestation.