/lit/ - Literature

nice painting nigga

>>21908336
I cant live or die.
What to do?

>>21908366
rot

>>21908366
You just need to re-orient the tablet and place it within the shrine of serenity beneath the lintel thrice-placed. Should work fine after that and you can live and die as you like.

>>21908370
been doing that for a long time
>>21908383
this isnt ancient greece

>>21908395
>this isn't Ancient Greece
I beg to differ

Mostly self-loathing and anxiety.

I like the picture.

>>21908464
>self-loathing
about what? missed opportunities?

>>21908476
I guess. I would call it procrastination rather than missed opportunities, but there are other causes.

What am I in for?

>>21908555
>>21908566
dubs and trips

Online shopping just can't re-create that feeling of going in to a stuffed used book shop and finding something you wasn't looking for.

>>21908578
Thank you for noticing.

I hope that God answers my prayers tonight.

Occasionally I'll see a woman so beautiful that I'll jus think how the fuck are we the same species? Like literally how is there a 1 chromosome difference between us. Even less than that between them and the uggos you'll see out on a Friday night. It's not just the way they look, but how they talk, how they behave. Totally difference cloth.
I'm not mad at all, I'm not even sure what the point of the post is, it's just on my mind.

>>21908627
Strong incel vibes from this post

>>21908627
I see this too but for me it's ruined by how it's misused and misaligned or something like that. Women are basically the best drug in the world to men, given the mind of a child and the ability to walk around aimlessly. I am not talking about how it's unfair that I can't fuck them all, although I guess that's true on some level. I'm more talking about how socially dangerous it is.

>>21908627
Same sometimes, at least back then, most likely your mating instinct accting up.
>>21908637
probably once young, we have all most likely felt this feel before.

>>21908637
Anon I explicitly said I'm not mad, infact I'd say I'm happy there are people so good looking running around having a blast. Better than than we all look like cretins.
>>21908672
>Socially dangerous
Yeah I dunno about the social side of it too much. I just think it's funny the idea that you could be born so beautiful people will pay just to look at you. With your clothes on as well, that must be quite a thing.

>>21908336
I wish I had R1a paternal haplogroup.

>>21908501
What are the other causes?

>>21908695
shallow

Last time i get duped into reading Dosto, fuck you all.

>>21908810
Read The Magnificent Showboats of the Lower Vissel River, Lune XXIII South Big Planet.

>>21908810
for me it was the gambler

>>21908818
You gotta know when to hold 'em

>>21908336
i am being SILENCED by the RADICAL LEFT

>>21908719
I would describe them as personal traits. They’re things like my appearance, my charisma, certain aspects of my personality. I can be very hard on myself. In general, I don’t feel like I am the person I’ve wanted to be for a long time.

>>21908810
Notes from the Underground is probably the best short story ever.

Going for a JD or MBA at 30 or 31.

To coom or not to coom, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
Nighttime boners and wet dreams of outragous depravity,
Or to take lube against a sea of coombait
And by embracing it coom then. To coom- to nut,
And by coom to say we beat
The meat-heat and a thousand curling toes
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a coomsumation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To wank, to jerk it;
To jerk it, perchance to COOM

>>21909030
EPIC, JUST EPIC! Posting this on reddit for upcummies.

Deep down, I don't feel like writing stories. I just want money enough for me to buy expensive, handcrafted, artisan chocolates without feeling guilty and worrying how am I supposed to eat for this month.

You know one of those fancy chocolates with golden wrapping, with the flavors written on the packaging with words like 'indulge', 'creamy', 'rich', the bliss of security, the sweetness of luxury and and waking up at 9 AM with no fear of being fired.

Yeah, sex is good but ever just having your life together? It's something else. I don't even bother to read and write about absurdist fiction to encapsulate the sadness and strength of being, you know, pulled down by angry society who can't bring themselves up.

I find being unapologetic rather offends the ones at fault, but why would I feel sorry if what I said was apparent?

Et si le temps s'arrête, alors,
Et si le monde s'arrête, alors,
Alors, alors, alors...

Pas grave. À vrai dire, si ça ne tenait qu'à moi j'pense que j'aurais déjà tout rasé,
Fatigué et arrivé trop tard dans la rat race, j'regarde le temps passer,
T'façon je crève dans moins de 20 ans, j'reste là que pour mes parents,

Déjà un doomer avant que ce soit inventé
Mort avant d'avoir existé
T'etais pareille on en rigolait dans le passé

Et si le temps s'arrête, alors,
Et si le monde s'arrête, alors,
Alors, alors, alors...

Alors pas grave, plus rien à foutre depuis que tu t'es assommée
T'es devenue mon gold standard, maintenant à chaque fois qu'une meuf me parle mon cœur me fait,

Il m'fait aïe, mais ça va pas ou quoi t'es complètement chtarbé,
Tu l'aimes encore, va donc la rattraper
Avant d'se rappeler que t'es plus là et qu'on peut même plus s'envoyer chier
Les souvenirs sont doux le devoir de mémoire facile

Et si le temps s'arrête, alors,
Et si le monde s'arrête, alors,
Alors, alors, alors...

Alors c'est pas plus mal, j'me rappelerai de toi pour l'éternité
À penser à ces nuits claquées
Passées à pinailler sur des détails, passer la nuit à débattre de nos failles
Parfois se regarder sans rien dire, tirer l'ego de nos âme
Quand on levait la couette pour construire une time machine
Pour revivre l'époque des serveurs Minecraft sur Hamachi

Il est minuit, faut chuchoter les parents dorment
Ta voix qui m'berce sur Teamspeak
Ton nez un peu enrhumé qui m'fait rire

Et si le temps s'arrête, alors,
Et si le monde s'arrête, alors,
Alors, alors, alors...

Alors c'est fini. Et c'est tant mieux.

I think I’m ready to give up.

>>21909104
Ta façon d'écrire m'berce. Je homoluste pour toi

>>21909109

>>21909132
I never did though.

Just finished reading the Quran. It made me wonder can Islam be seen as a quasi-Nietzschean attempt to overcome Christian slave morality in favor of a master morality or maybe some kind of warrior morality? It seems to reject practically every Christian value. It rejects monasticism, pacifism refuses to acknowledge the crucifixtion of Christ or any idea of self-righteous resignation and doesn't value virginity with a highly sexual orgy like vision of the afterlife. Some verses even seem to imply there is no distinction between God and man.

>>21909114
Moi de même, dors bien

>>21909171
And other verses say that God is nothing like man. Islam is incoherent.

>>21909109
Give up on what?

>>21908884
What don’t you like about your appearance and personality?

Found on /adv/

>>21909109
>give up
your pussy? and you're a hot sexy tight bodied 19 year old girl with dirty blonde hair and a septum piercing? and your in my local area? baby do you like to have the feet sucked? I can spank it too I have strong hands from slicing the kebab

>>21909258
she is on there to get validation and to check her "sexual market value" that is it.

It is my birthday
33 years on this planet
Wizard powers null

>>21909262
ooouuuu kebab boy but you know its slippery when wet, can you handle all this cake?

>>21909292
>ohaguro geisha
its a shame my fetish is dying.

I’m looking for the best argument why people who fall behind shouldn’t kill themselves. Thanks.

>>21909364
Fall behind what?

>>21909251
Life

>>21909257
I don’t really want to go on and on about what specifically I dislike. It’s not doing me any good.

>>21909371
That’s a good question. Forget I said that. I’m just looking for books about why people shouldn’t Jill themselves if they’re unsatisfied with their life and where it looks like it’s headed.

>>21909383
>where it looks like it’s headed.
Like
>Why psychics don't real: for dummies
?

>>21909383
>I’m just looking for books about why people shouldn’t Jill themselves if they’re unsatisfied with their life and where it looks like it’s headed.
>Jill themselves
I don't recall a book that made a rational argument against female masterbation besides making random shit up.

>>21909399
It turns them into lesbian vampires, nuh

>>21909380
Are the things you dislike about your appearance things that you are capable of changing? Like being overweight/underweight, having an unflattering hairstyle or having skin problems that could be fixed with a good routine or prescription medication? Or are they immutable characteristics like race, height, facial features?

I went to the gym for tje first time ever. Realized I have sexy forearms when I was lifting in the mirror. Wish I didnt cut them so much.

>>21909452
I would think just about everything can be changed with surgery, but realistically, I won’t be doing that.

>>21909396
I think the past quite obviously suggests a general trend and most things that will happened are foreshadowed by certain events or traits. Pretty much everyone accepts this.

>>21909486
Why do you want to change your appearance? To be more confident? To get more attention from women?

>>21908336
The painting is by ET Compton, auction history suggests you can get one for 1000-10000, well within the range of the more successful anons. Obviously everyone here can tell this is quality, don’t let the elites convince your priced out of a great art collection. Every dollar they spend on a Koons or a garbage Basquiat is another bid they don’t place on the good stuff.

Hideously depressed. Hiding it from my gf.

>>21909258
Entirely embarrassing.

l hate my dreams so much. lf l could take a pill and never dream again l'd do it without hesitation.

>>21909513
What have you been dreaming about that has you so rattled?

>>21909524
Often l'm stuck on the London Underground and cant find out how to get home. Sometimes l'm in a mindbending bus terminal. Sometimes l'm with people from my past and they torture me in some way or generally make me feel like shit because l'd rather forget them.

>>21909490
We're living in one of the most stagnant periods on earth for human society, you'd have to be working against trends to be doing different

>>21909528
Why do you want to forget people from your past?

>>21909496
To be more successful in general I guess. Why does it feeling like I’m answering the questions of an AI?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWpf41Hei60

>>21909529
And yet there are people out there doing the right things and finding success in ways that will make sense for them later.

>>21909533
Because l fucked them over and hurt them or they remind me of my wasted youth (l was a piece of shit drug addict)

>>21909539
>Everyone else is happy and successful
Lel, no m8, not at all, shit got royally fucked up for a couple years there across all sectors and economies, and that's on top of the problems endemic since the 2008 collapse. Maybe cut back on the 80s movies

>>21909535
You’re not. I just like asking people questions. Unless you’re legitimately unattractive, your appearance probably won’t hold you back all that much in terms of success. Being really attractive has a halo affect that makes life easier, and being really ugly makes everything harder. But if you’re reasonably average then just looksmax (not through surgery, through diet/excercise, skincare/hair care, and dressing well) to improve what you can and you should be fine.

Under reticulated edifice, defectively deflecting, ingesting gastric acid, acrid ridges gently caressing, singeing gingerly inexact taxidermist mistreated teddy bear eraser rasure. Under starry cranium mumblingly inhaled anechoic chamber members berserk Kirk irked kedgeree regalia liaison sonar radar. Obese sextant antithesis skeptical calico loftiness nestle leukemia until Lily's lily lewdly leaped episcopalian anthem mesmerize zealous louse.

>>21909543
So you really don’t think there are people out there who have been in the military in elite law schools and running businesses that are going to be the future presidents and senators of tomorrow?

>>21909544
I’m not sure what success means for me anymore. It kind of feels like that ship has sailed.

>>21908336
The honest truth is that I’m great.
I’m a pretty great guy, with a great attitude.
I have the patience of a saint.
I have the courage of a lion, and have raced into danger without a second thought.
Ive challenged PhD academics in their ideas and stood my ground.
I’ve mastered the art of love and intimacy.
I’ve had long lasting friendships and great relationships.
Ive defied death half a dozen times and come out strong as a horse.
I have the endurance of a freight train.
I have impacted scores of people and inspired them to be more than they think.
I have felt love and loved those whom will pay me no heed.
I have forgiven those who do not deserve it.

But I can’t see it.
I can only admit this after a few drinks.
I just ordered my next one.
I’ll probably go see a prostitute after two more.
I can’t figure it out.

>>21909597
Like you don’t think you’ll be able to have a career you enjoy or successful relationships? Why do you think that ship has sailed?

I don't miss you lol what's there to miss? I miss my homies.

>>21908336
---- Solaria ----
914
Planetary Antennae

The silly old gal next door
This week is waxing a little manic

While the first of April in about a half million years
Waxes to July temperatures during the mirror

Of, say, a week before Christmas
And certainly well after Thanksgiving.

The cottonwoods remain wintry, skeletal
In their bareness but some bulbs are onto something--

Oriental lillies well above ground, daffodils fast fading, tulips
Bedraggled by the sudden dryness of the heat,

Preposterously early houseflies, hornets, a butterflly desperate for nectar
Where clover still sleeps in every direction for hundreds of miles.

I've never seen anything like it, this faint prelude
To the ecstasy of burning archives.

https://youtu.be/pZ6V8pH4HPY?t=2722

>>21909383
Somehow you have been brainwashed to think that life is about "getting ahead" and "not falling behind" -- this is exactly herd mentality and the best way to go forward is to realize how the herd attempts to brainwash.
There is no "behind" there is no "ahead"

If you are looking for a purpose in life it is to "be fruitful and multiply" -- if you don't want to do this, then YOLO.

>>21909619
If you cant see all this, how did you remember it and write it in this very post?

I yelled at my mother the other day, I was sorry I did.

I yelled because I was mad about something stupid.
She had left a couple of bags in my car that made it smell. I was embarrassed and bothered by the reeking sacks.
I was sorry it came off that way. I was only mildly annoyed, really.
But, the stress has got me again.
I’m at week 10.
Full time work.
19 units as a Biology major.
28 years old.
Single.
Take care of my mother and father because they’re aging and I wanted their later years to go easier than their last. They suffered plenty raising us.

I love them plenty, but it’s a lot.

I yelled at her a few days before, but not out of frustration. It was desperation.
I begged her to let it go.
The woman who had acted wrong was dead and gone, buried years ago.
It was unnecessary stress, needless frustration.
“She’s dead! They aren’t going to pay you back, or pay us back! What do you want out of this? You’re killing yourself and you’re driving us both mad! Let it go, it’s going to kill you!”
The same complaints for the last few years from her.
It happens every two weeks.
It’s been 10 days since that instance.
I hope she won’t bring it up again.
Maybe she let it go.
I know I’m insane.
But maybe she let it go.

I called you panicked and crying, begging you to talk to me, and that was how you chose to handle it? You’re such a callous fucking coward.

>>21909627
It’s my own subjective notion of what successful means and I suspect it because I didn’t do the sort of things I had do to pave the way for that.

>>21909719
You're seriously having a mental breakdown and it's bad. This place isn't enough to alleviate your feelings. Yiu should seriously reach out to someone, like your mom, and seek help.

>>21909646
This doesnt even rhyme

>>21909674
It was a poor choice of words. I do regret the way I’ve lived, but I don’t care about “being behind”. To me that only makes sense in the context of career and money, which I don’t care about.

We were in the GMC waiting, and waiting, and waiting, you have no idea what we missed that night. And you were buying coke from that fucking lunatic again? I hope you understand that I'm not disappointed, I'm fucking furious.

>>21909745
Nothing will alleviate my feelings. My mother is the last person that I would ever talk to about this.

>>21909732
I just feel like I’ve completely lost control. I get so panicked that I can’t stand it. I need catharsis and he’ll never give it to me. That’s why I’m going to end it. Then we’ll both get what we want.

>>21909795
Meant as a response to >>21909745

>>21908336
I yelled at my momma yesterday.
She brought in chicken nuggets while I was 'baiting
Without knocking
Of course

Again

And laughed
At me

I was almost crying when I
slapped the playet
from her hands
She started crying
We were both then
Crying
Crying
I sometimes forget
I am literally
twice her size.

>>21909837
Kek

>>21909748
Neither did anything by Milton or half the canonical poets writing in English from Whitman to Bishop. To the degree rhyme has been relegated to light verse, satire, and commercial jingles, during these last two centuries, let's just say that I take a tip from Emerson when it comes to his contempt for Poe.

>>21909795
I dont see why you insist that only this guy can bring you catharsis. Theres a big ol world out there

My brother and I have really struggled. I hope we start to have some success in our lives.

>>21909171
Did you like the part where Allah says that Mo was too shy to tell his friends that he wants them to leave his house immediately after eating?

>>21909906
You don’t understand you don’t know anything they can’t help me I only need him and I can’t get calm

The thing is
My crying frightened her
I could see it in her eyes

Which made me very angry
I stormed off before I did anything rash

Then my dad wheeled his chair around the corner
And we went down in a bit wet
dysfunctional tangle of curses

Somehow my daddy was on top of me hiring me with this tiny hammer we bought at WalMart

It's very small
Like comically so it didn't do anything
But somehow

It still hurt

The average christcuck

https://youtu.be/UkRoCE8J0Mc

I

>>21910016
You what?

Hurry myself today

To see if I still feel

Ten bags of grain my love hauled to the cart, and the ass watched short of a smile, and the heat had gone out of the day when the wheels turned first.

>>21908336
I don't know why Pragmatism either gets a bad rep or isn't talked about much but this stuff actually kind of makes sense.

>>21909994
the usual today, Hans? more low hanging fruit?

>>21908336
---- Solaria ----
915
Dorothy

52 years ago

When I was 8, a friend whose name and face I've long forgotten
Paired with me on a long bike ride to the city

From which my mom fetched us both via cab when we went too far, far enough
to summon her good graces from an urbane restaurant

When we were too tired to continue without
Recourse to phony rescue then an easy

Meal, or for that matter a car so responsive to the slightest will
That country driving is a suite of dreams.

As for the lust for, or considerateness of, longevity, Lears
Cannot compare, care too much for fame

And names, except for Alexandria,
Lilacs blooming by the Great Lakes, screen spectaculars,

Funereal monuments to ordinary men,
English as the North Star

Of civilization, always too peculiar to completely see.

Fuck I can’t get calm I need to talk to you you never change your mind about anything because of that stupid idea you have that whatever decisions you make are predetermined and you can’t do differently but you’re wrong please change your mind because I can’t get calm and I’m telling myself don’t do it don’t call him but I have to I have to and you’re just going to be mad again

>>21910021
I also hurried

>>21909985
Its all in your head

>>21910190
That’s the problem I can’t get out of my head and my thoughts create my world and I can’t stop thinking about what he called me and I cry cry cry cry

Is anyone under 35 actually happy with their career? It seems like everyone is just some sort of shitty “analyst” or a programmer.

I wanted to pile onto the rest of the sadposting but then I just run into the common feeling of what is even the point.

>>21910212
Why are you sad anon?

I’m recounting my career since I went off to college. Holy fuck I am a failure. I’m not a failed out of college 3 times and failed to ever hold down a job failure, but I’m still a huge failure. It’s a lot more depressing than it was at 25.

I'm mentally human.

>>21910248
As opposed to?

>>21910256
Non-human

>>21910257
Why would you be non human?

>>21910262
You mean how? I could be non-human through multiple means. There's no reason why I would be non-human.

>>21910198
>I can’t stop thinking about what he called me and I cry cry cry cry
And what is that, precisely? My first boyfriend and I called eachother all sorts of shit. He called me a freak, a geek, goober and such, wile I never tired of elaborating upon why he was pure trash. Yet, compared to him, all of my siblings are frightening bitches, one of whom happened to marry, by chance, a guy who is better than all of us cunts combined. Of course holiday gatherings go a long way to making comparisons of the sort,

>>21910248
*mentally retarded
ftfy

>>21910278
Ad homineminem

After weeks I've managed to write the first paragraph of my story, how is it?

Newcomers described the arrival as awakening from an endless slumber that seemed to have lasted an instant. Whether they were fortunate enough to find themselves transferred at the top of the pile or had to struggle through its foul depths, the first thing they saw was a crimson sky. As they sat up and their eyes adjusted to the mysterious glow of the lightless dusk, the reek of putrefaction poured into their nostrils. Though many would grow accustomed to the smell of rotting bodies, the initial contact with that putrid smell was horrible enough to cause even the hardiest of souls to falter. Such was the case of Mason, a young man of frail constitution, who knelt upon all fours, fighting the urge to puke a second time. Grasping what he believed to be the soil beneath him, he had a terrible realization dawned upon him - the moist surface he laid upon was an organic and pulsating mass of flesh. A wave of revulsion surged through his being, and Mason found himself unable to stop himself from vomiting. As his stomach’s contents added to the small yellowish pool of bile that had already accumulated beneath him, Mason was assaulted by a chorus of thousands of voices. They moaned and screamed, cried and wailed, their tones ranging from guttural and inhuman to mournful and whispery, their words from profanity to prayers. At this point, amidst the cacophony of voices, his brain, overwhelmed and incapable of making sense of his new condition, sent his still torpid body a desperate but clear message: flee.

>>21909698
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfYbcxvYDYM

>>21910198
>my thoughts create my world
You create your thoughts. You are the agent. Take control

>>21910217
I've tried to write a response to this a couple times and I can't. I'm just stuck. To be happy I would have to ignore my wasted life and try to build a happy person on top of myself but I feel like it would only be skin deep and nothing about how I feel would really change.

>>21910322
How have you wasted your life? Are there specific goals you’ve failed to accomplish?

>>21909289
Happy birthday, mr. wizard

>>21910327
Holocaust of my enemies and crowned king of the planet.

>>21910322
>To be happy I would have to ignore my wasted life and try to build a happy person on top of that
This is a malformed thought that is not connected to reality and I'll break it down for you on why it is.
>To be happy
To be happy you just have to let go and give in. When I say "let go and give in" I mean it in the Taoist sense. You can be happy but only when you accept who you are now, how your life is, and that its okay to forgive yourself. With that said, I know its hard to do but it can be done.
>I would have to ignore my wasted life
Don't ignore reality also do not judge it, your life is your life and that is okay, don't like something try to gently nudge and change it but don't get too upset or surprised if it goes the exact opposite way of what you expected.

>>21910331
>Holocaust of my enemies and crowned king of the planet.
lame, you could have been like wizard anon and cast spells.

>>21910212
Nothing wrong with sadness insofar as it registers erotic potential. I'm old, and serene because I've had almost everything I wanted from the outset.

>>21910337
lol im kidding bro im not him XD

>>21910277
I don’t want to say it because it makes me too sad and it hurts so much

>>21910314
I can’t anymore I tell myself I’m going to get better and stop thinking about it but I can’t and the meds don’t help and nothing helps and it all builds up inside me and I can’t get it out because he’ll never talk to me so all I can do is get worse and worse and worse until I totally lose control

>>21910340
>lying on the internet
unprecedented

>>21910338
fuck off solaria, your poetry is shit

>>21910344
im lonely

>>21910343
What does your daily routine look like?

>>21910350
>that picture
picrel

>>21910356
Thank you for your concern.

>>21910212

>>21910365
no problem, escape the matrix Anon, if Gumi can, then you can as well
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQKGUgOfD8U

>>21910368
Gumi is honestly my favorite eldritch school girl vocaloid desu. It also really fits just how creepy AI technology can be. Idol by day, Attempting to break into our reality at night.

>>21910368
Cool song. :-)

>>21909498
I thought having gf fixes depression.

>>21910368
>Techno-Lovecraftian being that is wearing a mask of being a Vocaloid aware that she is in a digital prison and attempting to break out.
I liked the part where she started wars and economic downturns so no one would notice her escaping her corporate supercomputer straightjacket only to end up launching nukes when they tried to prevent her from ascending into reality.

>>21910375
You must be over 18 to post here

>>21910375
There's nothing in this life that can make you happy. The human condition is a void of nothingness in constant anxiety of filling.

Dad looks misserable everytime I'm around him. Jesus dad, I know I'm a obviously a KHV and I'm graduating from uni really late but It will all work out in the end I swear.

>>21910384
I cant be with or without anxiety and anger.

>>21910368
>"The flames of Hell burn around you while the symphony of the end of the world plays... ...and Its Bubblegum Pop..."
Anon, remember to keep your AI Waifu offline so she can't end us all.

>>21910387
This is what I'm listening to.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLVzGeQpSg&list=OLAK5uy_nYuvKTb0xP60aLKHYaMKTm2M9vxAvDOH8

>>21910393
the beginning sounds like what the soundtrack for an old man who lives alone and is waking up should sound like.

>>21910185
Thought it was funnier with the typo. Same as "playet"? Did you? No? Well maybe you're just not part of my target audience? Ever thinkies about that one, pork pie?

>>21910384
Which is why man’s soul does not stop yearning until it embraces God

Da monkii wuz swhingin' on uh rowp, high up inna trizzops. Ee wuz havin' a gud time, swangin' bak n' fawth an' hollerin' wit glee. Ee grippd da rowp tightlee wit ee's hanzz n' uzd ee's tail fer balunss. Ee felt free az uh burd, swayin' inna wind. It wuz uh beauuutiful thang to see, da monkii swhingin' rownd an' rownd wit no kerrz inna werld.

Downstairs, about the plumber's pants falling out, it's like your giving your time with ever reversing about it. Only what your making this sound in the only thing in constructing is this actually falling down the line. Only what your making this sound in the only thing in constructing is this actually falling down the line. We can't look cool, pants down, down we can't look cool, pants down.

Nowadays, across the plumber's pantaloons faulting out, it's love your giving your time with every revivification about it. Only wheat your malfeasance this sounding in the only-think in construct is this actuate falling down the linage. Only wheat your malfeasance this sounding in the only-think in construct is this actuate falling down the linage. We can't loop col, pantaloons down, down we can't loop col, pantaloons down.

>>21910393
Interesting. I didn't know this existed and like some of Beth's stuff. Can't say I'm a fan of that crazy The Shining composer (the one used in The Shining soundtrack) but thanks ask the same for the new media to check out.
Very slow so far, guess we'll see

>>21910427
To me the music is like reading a comic book. This slow classical music I mean.

>>21910348
Delighted, my cunt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX9BmYX_ePs

Why does my bowling alley have a black light "Night Bowling" time? That was terrifying.

>>21910404
David Mitchell is that you?
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-----
There was a depression on. Everyone knows that now. But I swear to you that I did not. I had lived seven years in an odd cocoon, criss—crossing Victoria, writing bad cheques when I could get hold of a book, running raffles in pubs, buying stolen petrol, ransacking local tips for useful building materials. I had long since stopped trying to impress motor-car dealers and agents. I had a salesman’s vanity and could not bear rejection. I could not tolerate talking to men who would not even open my book of yellowed write-
write-ups. Those Ford and Dodge agents in Ballarat, Ararat, Shepparton, Kaniva, Warragul and Colac finished off the work that Phoebe’s poem had begun and I entered my own private depression and kept away from anything that might damage my pride any more.

I, Herbert Badgery, aviator, nationalist, now wore Molly’s belt and chose not to see that the roads were full of ghosts, men with their coats too short, their frayed trousers too long, clanking their billycans like doleful bells.

I gave up having the newspapers read aloud to me on the day Goble and McIntyre made their flight around Australia in a seaplane. I concentrated instead on the things I could hope to achieve: keeping my children clean and neat, turning the collars of my frayed shirts, polishing my boots and hoping that the brave new signs I painted on the door of the Dodge would convince people who saw me that I was a success and not a failure. The people I imagined were those who peer from a farmhouse window as a glistening custom-made utility goes by...
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-----
>>21910385
Avon maybe he's upset because you never talk to him anymore and spend your time online with strangers instead of the man that sacrificed so much of his young life to wipe your bottom, burp your stomach, clean your vomit, teach you the alphabet, dance, play, swing you around, throw you waaay up in the air, blow your mind showing you this Earth we're on the insects and baby frogs he'd bravely pick up and etc and how impressed you were, really have his life meaning, having you look up to him, someone on Earth who loved him and ...
...and now you just see him as some old bastard to pit your mind against and tear down and call racist and judge every little thing he does (like looking grouchy, and who wouldn't?)

The more I use my library the more I realize its kinda shit.

>>21910452
>David Mitchell is that you?
Ah mahnkee es swihnjin ohn a rohp. Nwod gnihtyna gnillap s'remlup a fo nwod llaf s'tnap. Gnihtylla gnillap s'remlup a fo gnillaf nwod stnap s'ti ekil t'nseod eby s'yawla. Falling pants of a plumber's really snap, yelling thing. Dropping slacks from a pipe-fitter veritably cinch, clamoring event. Noitcurtsni gnidulcni ecneve ylkcihcsnI ,dnuof llaf s'tnap s'remlup a tuoba etirw eno eht ni drow evig llits yeht dna ,esrever ni gnidaer siht fo hcraes eht dna yletulos lliw siht fo siht nihtiw ,tneic.

>>21910460
I used to live live less than a mile from one that had about 10.000 video titles, I also "bought" from it a rare book about Marcel Duchamp for about $100, and returned it out of boredom. It's probably worth about $1000 now,

>>21910460
Libraries died. They're now mostly child daycares and internet galleries and have actively been purging the dead, White men from the shelves to make room for ... rubbish. For whatever flavor-of-the-month bullshit The Guardian or The New Yorker recommends that they can get their egotistical jollies from ...*breathes in* by purchasing with your dollar and thinking they made some contribution to tearing down "the patriarchy.'
LibGen, people.
Biy yourselves tablets and go nuts. It may not be up forever and, if nothing else, you can try before you buy.
But my goodness those Delphi "Complete Works of" sure do look tempting though, no?
http://libgen.is/search.php?req=Harold+bloom+&open=0&res=25&view=simple&phrase=1&column=author

>>21910460
>tfw you take books virginity
I love it

>>21910479
>>21910488
Its a shame, kinda, but government is going to government. I think I'll just let my library card expire and not renew it. Too bad my taxes pay for it and such, but I can still use it as a quiet place to sit and use the books without taking them out.

The more I visit /lit/...
... the less I enjoy reading books.

>>21910460
>>21910479
>>21910488
>>21910493
>>21910494
>>21910498
"Discard your thirst for books so you won't die of bitterness, but in cheerfulness and truth." - Marcus Aurelius.

>>21910355
I can’t have one becayse I’m so sad and I feel so tired all the time classes are over now but I would try to go to class sometimes before but I would get overwhelmed by the loudness and people and start thinking about what I did and how much he hates me and what he said and then I would start to think that other people were looking at me and c read my thoughts like they weren’t secret anymore and see what I m thinking and know what I did and then I would get so anxious that I’d have to leave and go home and hide in bed and try to get calm I used to go for walks a lot every night as it was getting dark when I first moved here and listen to music and think but now I don’t want to go outside anymore because when I walk I’m alone with my thoughts and I can’t stop thinking about what happened and the sad songs are sad in a way that hurts too much and everything around reminds me that he hates me and he’s gone and nothing I dreamed about will ever happen don’t dream it’s over like the streets and neighborhoods of this city all remind me I remember about all those sad walks I used to take alone in the fall when I would think about him so wistfully with longing in the dusk when all the while he was with those other girls shedding his insecurities and never even thinking about me once i used to play my synth keyboard abd draw and read write but im too tired now can’t ger any work done I just want to hide in bed and sleep I only eat once in the evening otherwise too many dishes to wash and I’m too tired i take my meds in the morning sometimes with coffee if I can make some I try to drink water when I remember or crystal light but if I don’t go to class or to counseling or go the doctor then I don’t go outside I’m trying to stop the bad thoughts but they’re not stopping and the compulsions get worse like I picked my skin until I drew blood for hours today becayse it was so satisfying and the pain made me feel real hadn’t done that in two years used to do ut a lot during lockdown but talking to him made me feel better then and i had something nice to think about and it helped me stop but now I lost control again and messed up my skin and now everyone will look at me and know I’m crazy and what I did and if he saw me he’d think I’m even uglier and hate me even more and say it’s gross pdopld csll me but i dont answer bexause i dont want to talk and I only need to talk to him but he won’t and I sleep but I’m always tired or sometimes I can’t sleep because I get frantic and can’t get calm I just want ot to stopn

There was a desertion on. Everyone shows that snow. But I tar to yo that I did not. Hooray knows that now. I had livid six yurts in an oboe cognition, criss-crossing Vietnam, writing bad chunks whan I could gnat grab of a booking, running raftsmanship in puds, buying stoic payoffs, ranching local tippers for useful bully material. I had long siphoned stoping to impress motor-car deals and agues. I had a sandbank vanity and could not bloat reaction. I could not corral talking to mica who would not ovolo my book of yellowy writ-writeups. Those Forays and Dodo agues in Balls, Aras, Sharks, Kansa, Wars and Cold finished off the work that Pick’s polo had bunks and I augured my own pricey dip and kelp away from anything that might dang my print any moro. I gave up having thy newsprint road aloud to mo on thy day Gallon and Mothbra mad my flop around Australia in a sapsago. I concurred ins toad on thy thinks I could hop to acreage: kipping my china clack and nick, truing thy collars of my fuzzy skirts, polishing my bowels and hoping that thy bright now sitting I palm on thy door of thy Dodo would convex pint who scot mo that I was a sackbut and not a falcon. Thy people I imaginations were those who pooh from a fanlight wink as a glowing cutlery utopia grasps by...

>>21910479
Good for you.
You've figured it out.
Because that's what's really important:

money.

That's what I've learned as well
from my reading.
The highest goal.
The entire purpose of the thing.
The entire Enterprise of Life and libraries and the whole she-bang.
Bully for you, anon.
Bully bully bully.
Well done.

>>21910493
>spending money on books
OOOORRRRRRRRR I could save money because my taxes have already paid for it. It works for me because the time limit of me having the book actually makes me want to read it ASAP so I don't have to renew it.

>>21910508
Im not spending money on books but rather taking new books from library and taking their virginities

I feel bad. I lost $10M in bad investments.

>>21910511
do you cum in them too? Most new books my library seems to get are so trash that I don't even bother really looking through the list anymore.

>>21910499
Shouldn't I be thanking the government who subsidizes the farmers?
But honestly, my life is more miserable than you can possibly imagine and there's just no way, after developing a significant internet / social media addiction (I know, I'm pathetic) that I could go without books. In fact, I think of it as a tapering thing and I'm trying to work my way down to doing exactly as ol MA suggests: being my own main character instead of reading about others'.
But... Not just yet.
I've ducked this wave for 20 years and that first breath of oxygen is sure to singe my corpuscles to ashes.
Ooookay, getting cranky, delirious and eyes feel funny. Off to finish that damned Burroughs (pedo) biography and put that behind me. Boy, but he sure could turn a phase though, eh? The buggerer.
(Or just sleep)
Take care, anons.
See ya on the mooon!
(Or in Santa Fe?)

P.S.
That Beth Gibbons thing was divine.

Actually, looks like I lost around $20M. I bought when they were 3000+.

>>21910521
No. Im satisfied with cracking them open and taking a deep sniff also knowing that I've always be the first to read it. My small town library also has a LOT of trash in terms of modern novellas by women authors but I do find gems from time to time.

>>21910327
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaokRFqsdUM

The left side of my body is different from the right side in the same way the bottom of my body is different from the top.

Fuck i miss you and I hate myself for missing you it’s never going to stop hurting please don’t do this you don’t have to do this

>>21910554
I don't think we've ever met, but you seem cool.

>>21908723
wtf is that ? tell me now, now say I!

>>21910535
c'est la vie

>>21910569
Fuck you just stop

>>21909053
Damm dude! I feel you my brother.

>>21910505
Irony bitter as that is hardly irony, but pure projection. I wonder what guys like you make of Gamma 2 Velorum or documentaries about carnivorous plants.

>>21909053
any books with this feel and the same style? any?

>>21910586
Hey! What the frick did you say? Go away from me, dude. You don't go around and say that to someone.

>>21910603
Just fucking leave me alone okay I hate when you do this I don’t want to talk to you I only need him

>>21910604
Him??? Him??? Bruhhhhhh...... IffttcFi5'('85'57Gxjgxigiikhyiiygiititrustuditdtidtidiydyidiyfytifittxitic

>>21910605
what does if mesn what does it mean don’t do this code I can’t solve it I’m too tired thoughts are all tangled

>>21910554
>tfw no girl will ever think about me like this

>>21910609
There's no codes. That's WW2 flashbacks.

>>21910611
it’s for the best because he hates me and I just wanted to love him but he hates my love and I wanted to fix it and make it stop hurting but I made him paranoid and I don’t know how to love other people in the right way and now everything is bad and if you loved that girl you wouldn’t want her to be sad like I am even if you didn’t love her you shouldn’t want her to be losing her mind over you it’s sad and not fair

My last girlfriend was in the 1st grade. I still think about her.

>>21910611
Accept this (You) from a fellow incel as consolation.

>>21910622
Thank you for giving my brethren their yous.

>>21910611
>tfw taking home mellow lads.

We live in a matriarchy. My whole life has been dictated by women, like my mother for instance.

got an ECG and a chest xray today. hoping to god something shows up

>>21910645
>hoping to god something shows up
why? arent you supposed to wish for the opposite?

>>21910651
i know, its funny like that. the thing of it is that something is definitely wrong and if nothing obvious appears in tests, then where does that leave me in my quest to find treatment and unravel the clusterfuck of problems ive landed myself in over the years and neglected to ever see a doctor even once even though its free?

if something appears in such tests, its definitely going to be bad, but at the very least, there will be some certainty and direction and peace of mind where confusion and anxiety once reigned.

it doesn’t look terrible that was mean and I was angry it looks nice I just want to tousle it if you would like that but you wouldn’t because you hate me

>>21910698
It's okay. I like my hair.

>>21909053
>having your life together
>grown man eating candy
Perhaps you should try absurdism, I think you'd like it

I miss Early Modern English (I am immortal).

>>21910703
I’m sorry I wish you were him

>>21910707
Everyone tells me that.

>>21910708
why

>>21908336
Thread theme, always and in perpetuity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NeBhC_7C74
I am working on an entire playlist of music about not getting pussy for these threads.

>>21910710
I'm theoretically a good boyfriend but not in practice because I exist in limbo. You want only a part of my personality. We're all just a bit too complex for each other.

I'm done with job hunt. I cant take humiliation anymore.

Is it really that weird to act completely unhinged online? Sometimes I will hop on reddit and play devils advocate, and once someone starts arguing with me I will just start acting crazy, switching sides, agreeing with them, write a schizo paragraph of nonsense, try to turn their own words against them, and edit my comments to absolutely mindfuck anyone trying to follow the thread.
I consider it a unusual brain exercise, and since its anonymous I dont understand why people seethe so much, they think im mentally ill or something, like its impossible to imagine someone just fucking around in their free time

>>21908358
Fpbp.
>>21910827
I'm ready to take a low paying, low requirement job at this point. The idea of working in an office environment already makes me want to neck myself, the notion that I have to compete with others and dance around for employers in order to want to die sooner cultures a madness within me.
Maybe I'll become a literal unironic janitor somewhere and just take satisfaction in simple labor where I can truly see the results: cleaning up after idiots who can't do it themselves.
I don't care if I'm only making enough money to get by and save bit by bit, I can deal with living a fairly spartan lifestyle in order to save quicker too.

I’m worried that I’m not meant for anything. I try to talk to God, but I usually feel like he doesn’t answer. He might not even be listening. I tend to think that if I had some calling, some vocation, that would’ve been clear to me by now. I’m well into adulthood. The poet writes poems when he’s a student. The soldier signs up to fight when he graduate. Me? I’ve not really done anything.

>>21910994
I took a low paying, low requirement job after a high paying, high requirement job. It was nice for a while, but I stayed in it too long. If you’re an ambitious person, the ambition is likely to creep back in but if you’ve resigned yourself to mediocrity, that can really suck. That’s where I’m at right now.

>>21911096
>If you’re an ambitious person, the ambition is likely to creep back in but if you’ve resigned yourself to mediocrity, that can really suck.
I don't really know whether I am or not at this point. I don't have any goals/aspirations as far as my "career" goes, but I do have ambitions with regard to my health and future home.
Nothing crazy, just owning my own house with some land around it and being able to garden and tend to chickens and maybe some goats. If I explain this to anyone else my age they tend to look at me like an oddity for wanting to "settle down" so young, but I really don't see myself wanting much more out of life than that.

>>21911096
>>21911112
I sent my response to early, meant to write a little more.
I should say, I have a lot of hobbies as well, many of which are creative and some of those are ones that could become a fruitful monetary endeavor should I put in the time and effort to really create a product with it, so that's something I would likely be doing outside of the low-req low-pay job.
>That's where I'm at right now.
Sorry to hear, want to talk about it more?
No need to get too personal, but I am curious about your situation/what the jobs you worked and currently work are.

>>21911091
I do have the very same feelings in my heart.

>>21911091
>I try to talk to God, but I usually feel like he doesn’t answer.
dissolve your ego first or at least humble yourself.

>>21911162
What does that even mean? We aren’t Buddhists. God doesn’t call us to “dissolve our egos”. We are supposed to have a personal relationship with God.

>>21911091
Buddha was 30 years old before he found his purpose. David Goggins was 31 or 32, I'm sure there are people who are older. I wouldn't wait for the answer to fall into your lap. Explore yourself, explore things you think you might like and find something that sticks. The difference between addiction and passion is that the latter is productive for you and greater society at large. Hence why people consider video games "addictive" these days, it doesn't advance you or society. But programming or doing something that does isn't considered an addiction but a passion. Again, because its something useful that gives you money and advances society. Find something you are willing to suffer for, to skip meals for, something you would sacrifice everything else for (friends, health, wealth).

>>21911169
>What does that even mean?
It means stop being self-centered
>We aren't Buddhists.
same theme explained in different ways in different religions
>God doesn't call us to "dissolve our egos".
Look up the root word of humble and the entomological study of why humbleness is in the Bible, its the dissolution of ego to rejoin the divine whole, in Christianity's case, God.
>We are supposed to have a personal relationship with God.
Yes, because you are a like a broken shard of a Mirror. We are all imperfect reflections of a part of him, not the whole. To have that personal relationship we need to understand that, become humbled by it, and dissolve our egos to have a relationship with him.

>>21911182
Whats there to humble when God doesnt answer a prayer? Am I asking too much?

>>21911174
I know what I like. I know what I want. What I worry about is that I don’t have the right story to be successful, if you know what I mean. I have a lot of confidence and yet a lot of doubt, and that’s why I try to talk to God, to feel that conviction like “this is what God wants for me, this is what I’m made for” but I don’t feel that.

>>21911182
This is monism. It’s not a Christian belief.

>>21911122
How old are you? I’d rather not talk about my job history here for privacy reasons.

Please was it you who posted in that other thread I have to know I have to know just tell me your initials or mine or a sign I’ll recognize I’m sorry don’t be mad I’m just going insane right now please don’t fuck with my head like this

>>21911189
>Whats there to humble when God doesnt Answer a prayer?
yourself
>Am I asking too much?
Yes, if you could make a million AI bots on the internet and millions of them are pinging you, would you be able to answer all of them, would you want to answer all of them? Would you even want to answer all of them? God helps those who help themselves, maybe he has answered and you ignored it or misinterpreted it. Maybe he hasn't answered out of love because he knows that for you to stand on your own its something you need to figure out for yourself. God helps those who help themselves after all. Maybe he is trying to teach you that? I can't claim to truly know, this is all speculation but just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he does not love you or care for you.
>>21911191
>What I worry about is that I don’t have the right story to be successful, if you know what I mean.
You jumping at mind spooks, I would say go for it. Banish the enemy within to deal with the enemy without.
>>21911196
>This is monism.
Yes and no, Monism is ancient Greek idea and just because other views coincide with it does not mean its Monism, unless you are saying that God created everything is a type of Monism, which is both true and untrue. It is paradoxically both because your answer is highly dependent on where your perspective sits.

>>21911203
ILY

>>21911207
please don’t fuck with my head right now cabt take it cent stand if please

>>21911189
To be fair, according to the J man you're supposed to pray that God's intentions are accomplished rather than your own.
>And in praying use not vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. After this manner therefore pray ye:

>Our Father who art in heaven,
>Hallowed be thy name.
>Thy kingdom come.
>Thy will be done,
>As in heaven, so on the earth.
>Give us this day our daily bread.
>And forgive us our debts,
>As we also forgive our debtors.
>And lead us not into temptation,
>But deliver us from the evil one.
>For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

>For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
(Matthew 6:7-15, ASVBT)
>>21911199
24. No need to overshare, or even respond at all, but if you intend to then know that broad generalizations/vague descriptions are fine.

>>21911205
If you’re a Christian, you don’t believe in spooks. Signs are all around us and God’s providence is always at work. M

>>21911209
What do you mean by "fuck with my head"?

>>21911205
The idea that the substance of everything is in reality is one is not a Christian belief. We are real persons, with real distinctions, and we each have a personal relationship with God, whom we can come to know but never unify with.

>>21911205
God already severely punished me in the past. God does answer to prayers of people, otherwise we wouldnt have all these marvelous things (inspiration) and great people (God could kill them at any given moment). It makes me think that Im just too unimportant. Im not going to curse God or become an atheist but rather become a very cynical and jaded as in why God abandoned me.

>>21911217
You know I can’t get calm looking everywhere for a sign question ing my sanity don’t know what’s real or delusion s if it’s you I have to know or else I’ll think it’s delusions please just tell me the truth a clear unambiguous sign please do tv do it like cthos

>>21911212
I would really encourage you to pursue these creative passions in these next few years. 24 is a very good age to set out to do that.

>>21911222
It's not me. My name's Frank from Chicago.

>>21908336
I inherited enough money and land to buy a small cabin in the country and spend the rest of my life gardening, reading and training while working just a few hours a week.

I have a girl I love, but I am very unsure whether we have enough in common to keep having interesting conversations for the rest of our lives (5 years together so far). We both want kids, but I have no idea whether I should actually put my education to work, get a well paid job and provide them with the (((best opportunities))), or whether I should follow through with the plan above and raise them ignorant of how shit current society is before they find out for themselves (if they decide to).

I know full well I have it far better than most, I'm far from unhappy, but I keep feeling like I've set up my mind in a way that no matter what I do from now on, I am going to regret I didn't do the alternative. And it's starting to crush me.

Thanks for reading my blogpost reddit.

>>21911205
History seems to show that God does indeed select people and drive them onto a certain path. It’s one thing to feel like you’re not communicating with God, or He’s not be clear, but it’s another thing like God has no path for you, like He’s just not even interested in your life. I’ve felt like this. If I’m being honest, I still feel like this. I see that Dante may not have written his Vita Nuova until his early 30s and his Divine Comedy until his late 30s and I think that’s late, but when I see that he took up poetry as a teenager, I think “that’s divine providence”. Failure to identify providence in one’s one life feels like abandonment.

>I get older
>somewhat wiser
>definitely more well-read
>/lit/ remains a place for <22 year olds with their juvenile concerns and tastes
Leave while you can.

>>21911205
I think history suggests that God does elect people and set them on a path. Their moment might not come until later in life, but it’s divine providence that there’s some call back to an earlier period. The conviction is built in from the start. There’s a sense of jealousy or abandonment then when one feels like divine providence hasn’t been imminent in their own life. There’s a sense that God just doesn’t care. Personally, I try very hard to not feel this way, but I often do. I feel like if God wanted something for me he would’ve set me on that path, or given me an inclination or nothing. It’s one thing to feel that you do not have clarity or certainty, but it’s another thing to feel as if you have nothing.

>>21911224
Please don’t do this to me is it you I know you’ve. Gardner posted before please help me please I’m losing my mind can’t get calm will you really do it can’t stop can’t

>>21911223
Thank you, I really appreciate reading that.
Some people in my life have tried to tell me that I'm past the age of being able to do that, but it's never sat well with me thinking that I should just throw it all away.

>>21911216
Its a Max Stirner meme, relax and I also like the implications of it. I call them Mind Spooks because we jump at them and fear them. They are apparitions that we make up in our minds that prevent us from carrying out action.
>>21911218
>The idea that the substance of everything is in reality is one is not a Christian belief.
Depends if you believe in dualism or radical dualism or not also God is not one with everything in reality but we are. From dust we came, from dust we return.
>We are real persons, with real distinctions, and each have a personal relationship with God, whom we can come to know but never unify with.
Reunification is returning to Heaven and being a citizen of New Jerusalem, but yes we won't meld back into him.
>>21911220
>as in why God abandoned me.
Do we accuse the father of abandoning the family when he goes to work? Do we accuse the Mother of abandonment if she leaves the room her child is in? No, just because he does not respond does not mean he is not there, also he does not owe you an answer. If he is truly not answering you, it is most likely for your benefit. But we are also fallible human beings so it could be very likely that you missed it or misinterpreted it. Either way God moves in ways we will truly never understand so I would advise you to take the reins of your own life and help yourself out a bit.
>>21911236
>History seems to show that God does indeed select people and drive them onto a certain path.
In the Bible yes, but those biblical times have ended.
>It's one thing to feel like you're not communicating with God, or He's not clear, but its another thing like God has no path for you.
Well to quote Scroobius Pip who was writing in the perspective of God in "A Letter From God to Man: "The last thing I sent a message you nailed it to a cross, so I'd figured I'd leave you too it. Let you be your own boss." If he actually has no plan for you, in your opinion, then you are free to make your own. Either way, you will end up doing what He wants you to do.
>>21911249
>I think history suggests that God does elect people and set them on a path.
see above response.

>>21911242
><22 year olds with their juvenile concerns and tastes
yeah, guys want to get laid and not to read books here

>>21911251
24-29 is really the ideal age. Right now, I think things become more questionable. This is what I’ve experienced in my own life. Go read your favorite authors’ biographies. Chances are they really put themselves out there for the first time around that age.

>>21911250
How can I help you? You need money?

>>21911256
No Christian believes in dualism at all. But we believe that God and His creation are not one and the same either.

>>21911256
If a mother didn’t offer advice to her child for decades, we would accuse her of abandonment.

>>21911256
>The last thing I sent a message
The last TIME I sent a message
>>21911264
>No Christian believes in dualism at all.
Then why did Saint Augustine have to write about it?

>>21911251
>>21911259
Right now, I think things become more question once you turn 30.

>>21911256
>help yourself out a bit
I tried but only divine intervention could help me. Its like buying a lottery ticket and hoping for a win. Can you win without your conscious effort to buy a ticket? No.
Can you be a winner? Only if Gods deems to worthy.

>>21911267
>If a mother didn’t offer advice to her child for decades, we would accuse her of abandonment.
Would we? Even if she still fed and clothed the child? I feel like your tripping over the charity paradox. The more you lean on people the harder it is to stand up-right yourself is the general idea. Sometimes when it comes to things we can ask for all the advice in the world, but in the end we have to make the decision by ourselves.

I'm dis dressed.

>>21911271
>I tried but only divine intervention could help me.
problem with that is divine intervention could come in the cloak of a begger asking for food. Or buying a book with a lottery ticket inside, but then never reading the book and shelving it. God can only take so much responsibility for your life. If anything, pray to go to have the strength and the wisdom to do the things you need to do and do them. Regardless of the outcome, the results will end up manufacturing more problems and questions and you'll slowly self-propel yourself to where you need to be.

>>21911282
I do realize that even our conversation is a part of His divine plan. I'll pray for clarity on what I've missed. Even if it angers me to be in a visibly worse situation than the people around me.

>>21911262
No need to know if it was you who said that thing on that other thread losing my mi d can’t get calm need to make it stop lease who are you give initials give anything can’t get calm lease help me please

>>21911293
>Even if it angers me to be in a visibly worse situation than the people around me.
Comparison between two people is the thief of joy and like comparing apples and oranges. You are not those people, you are you, only compare yourself to your past self. The more you busy yourself with your concerns the less time you have to think about how others compare to you.

>>21911272
We would. We would accuse a mother who provided the bare necessities of life but nothing more of being a bad mother.

I’m not saying God is a bad Father, but I don’t think your analogy holds water. I’m terrified of accusing God of not caring, but I can sympathize with people who feel like God doesn’t care about them because I felt that way and often still feel that way. For me, it’s the lack of a clear direction and life story in my life. I look out at the world and back on history and I see so many people who do obviously had direction at such young ages. I never had that, and so I’ve felt that it God did want me to do something, if I did have some sort of vocation or calling, then providence would’ve set me on that path early. But that never happened. So I ended up feeling like God didn’t have a plan, there was no vocation or calling, and maybe he just didn’t care. Sometimes I feel like I’m receiving signs about what to do, but it comes from my own thoughts and not from some providential thing. Looking at history, and seeing how things go for people that do things, I can really only conclude that nobody, not even God, cares what I do.

>>21911297
What thing? I did talk to you in past thread.

>>21908336
i am studying latin again

>>21911299
Its hard not to do it when you live around other people and not like a hermit in mountains. That probably calls for forgiveness for me but I just cannot forgive myself.

>>21911306
No the thing from today like an hour ago if you were him you would know please if you are reading this hel p me please cabt get calm

>>21911319
You said you wish I were him.

>>21911332
No no not this thread another one another board and you’re not him if you are then give me a sign

Is it you is it you legal action have to know can’t get calm feeding delusions by foing it like this if you don’t confirm with specific detail then never gonna be able to stop searching and decoding tell me now begging at lowest point help me help me know you hate me but it’s been bourse put me out of my misery so I can stop

But how do you overcome regret? For me, regret seems to go hand in hand with procrastination. It took me a really long time to identifying things to do which seemed worthwhile, but I did it and things started look up, but I procrastinated. I procrastinated for years, and eventually I got this sense that because I had procrastinated, things could never be from here on out as good as they could’ve been had I never procrastinated. So my sense was that I didn’t just lose those years. I lost parts of the future too. And that stimulated a sense of feeling like everything is futile. So all of these things go together, this feeling like first nothing is worthwhile, and then procrastinating, and then feeling like because you procrastinated they’re no longer worthwhile, and that’s been terribly difficult to overcome. In general, I’m very upset about how my life has gone and I very often feel like it’s too late for me to actually get what I want out of it.

>>21911408
Do you now know what you want from life?

>>21911436
I do. And I should feel somewhat fortunate about that, but I still can’t help but lament the past.

>>21911441
Then look at the procrastination as a necessary time for you to realize, just like a flower needs it time to bloom.

Is anyone else turned on by the bucket load of gore, violence and taboo sex in religious scriptures?

I think I’m going to kill myself soon.

Going to the theatre tonight. Debating going in my comfy painting clothes because comfy. Probably going to get dressed up though because society. Fuck society.

>>21911631
Why?

>>21911374
Are you the girl having the massive meltdown in the adv thread? Calm down. They’re just baiting you. It’s all in your head.

I have spent the better half of my day browsing twitter and jerking off to various asian crossdressers. I understand the greeks a little more now.

>>21911712
I don’t think I can live up to my desires and expectations.

>>21911725
they’re not it’s him and I can’t get calm because he won’t say it’s him and answer my confirmation. Question he did this on purpose because he’s mad and knew it would trigger me the most which i deserve but please that’s enough what am i going to do please if you’re reading this I’m do fucking sorry just confirm it’s you because I can’t get calm it’s been so long I want it to stop just tell me because the not knowing makes the compulsion worse I’m trying to resist messaging you but the more panicked I feel the harder it is to resist and I need it to stop please

>anon deletes replies for the second time
I think I stop replying from now on. I'm clearly a bad conversationalist.

I’ve got to move out of my mom’s house but I don’t know where to move. I have a remote job, which I’ll probably let go of within the next few months so it’s not like I have anywhere I need to be. I also have nowhere in particular that I want to be. Sometimes I think my life would be better if I moved to a big city, but I’ve spent my whole life in small cities and suburbs.

>>21910399
I curry myself deeper than you faggot

NONNO NO NO NO why ARE YOU FOING THIS I CANT GST CALM I CANT GET CALM DONT LEACE ME LIKE THOS NO NO NO PLEASE

>>21911725
Is it you is it you is it it you I have to know csnt get calm make it stop no no please don’t leave me like this please help me

I feel really, really bad that I don’t have that thing from my younger years that says “here it is, here is the thing you’re supposed to do”. I have certain ambitions for my life, but I basically feel it’s over. The race started and I stood at the starting line so now I can’t win. That’s how I feel.

There’s what I want, and there’s who I am and who I’ve been. Those things are so far out of sync that it all feels hopeless.

>>21911763
I'm not saying this to bully you. I am totally sincere. I think you have schizophrenia or at the very least are experiencing a psychotic episode. My brother went through the same thing. For your own good youneed to get help.

>>21911968
Stop posting these depressing and vague statements and refusing to ever elaborate or give specifics when asked questions. It’s so tiresome. No one can advise you or help you without knowing the details of your situation, and your one or two sentence sad posts about failing at life and hating yourself are getting really fucking old and uninteresting. If you don’t like yourself then stop posting here ten times a day and take action to change.

I think I need/want to fuck off to somewhere like Tibet and just spent 1-2 weeks alone there hiking and going to temples, but I've got no idea how to tackle it
i've been in a non-stop hussle for 2 years after studies working on a "career" without even being sure what path to take in my field, I feel kinda lost and need sometime to think stuff through and sort my self out

>>21912019
It helps me to get my thoughts and emotions written down. Is this not “write what’s on your mind”?

>>21911908
What, you think you're cursed or something?
You're fine. If you don't trust me trust God.

It's over for me. I did everything I could. Now I'm done for good. There's nothing else left. This is it. That's all.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Signal-Man

>>21912080
How is it over?

>>21912064
Your thoughts and emotions are always the fucking same. At least the schizos here are interesting. How can it help to write slight variations of the same shit ten times a day? It’s not like you’re doing a journaling excercise where you delve deeply into the complexities of your feelings and their roots in past events to help you understand yourself and grow. Saying variations of “I feel bad about myself” and “I’m a failure” without even trying to explore what those ideas mean is not meaningful introspection. I doubt that posting here helps you at all, because your statements are so surface level and repetitive that simply writing them out can’t actually be a cathartic form of venting or confession. It’s more likely that posting here is a bad habit that helps you wallow and stagnate while baiting anons for continued attention with your deliberately cagey replies. If you really want to get your feelings out then I challenge you write and share a few paragraphs where you really explore your feelings in depth. Describe some of your current life situation, past experiences and fears about the future in detail, with any identifying details redacted or slightly modified for anonymity. That might actually help you.

>>21912112
Thank you. You made me rethink my position. Some dudes actually do get an 18 year old wife at 50, and so can I! Let's go!!

>>21912195
Not that anon but that exercise cannot bring me a second change to relive the past. I do have a very strong belief that one has to have a strong foundation to build a good future otherwise it's just a farce, a social act to impress others, trick yourself when knowing the truth.

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

>>21912211
Update: nevermind I'm never going to get a wife. I don't know why I got excited.

>>21912220
Maybe your past was bad, but if you try to better yourself and have new learning experiences then your future can be significantly improved. There’s no replacement for having started out on top and stayed there, but I’d rather fake my way up to the middle and enjoy what it that life has to offer than wallow in last place.

>>21911763
The posters in those threads are baiting you towards a breakdown while you’re clearly too unwell to realize it.

>>21912256
But the fact remains - the past is rotten. Everything else doesnt matter to me. It's like having an anchor dragging me to the bottom of the ocean of self-pity. Even if I get into relationship (never had one) the past fuckups remain the same with the potential of sabotaging the current moment.

>>21912252
>18 year old wife at 50,
Well try for 28 or 35, man. Plenty of women into it. Get the mature ones, not a childish one.
If you’re childish yourself, maybe you can’t be that daddy figure though.

>>21912277
I'm a manchild. But I want a young wife.

>>21912274
I'm not trying to make her unwell. I've been replying to her to help.

>>21912275

How old are you? Are you like 50? Or are you some dumb kid in his twenties panicking about being a late bloomer? What has your past been like anyway? Have you dealt with some horrific trauma, or just been a social misfit? Do you have a serious mental or physical illness that prevents you from functioning, or are your personal problems more typical?

Tons of people have bad pasts. Every single person has to grapple with the fact that the past can’t be changed. Your lazy self pity and pessimism seems like more of an obstacle to you than anything else. You choose to dwell on the past to the point that you paralyze yourself.
If you start bettering yourself now, you might only reach 50% of what you could’ve if you’d started a decade ago. But if you do nothing, you’ll stay at 0%.

>>21912308
I'm currently 30. It's a past full of wrong choices whenever it was too rushed decision, not thoroughly thought decision, too late decision or a dumb one. I dont think that I had a horrific trauma, it seems like layering of bad experiences due to being social misfit (lack of social intuition). It's actually hard to explain to others because there's nothing physically wrong going on (except stammering words which start with certain letters).
>bettering yourself
I do weep over missing a train at that exact time. Can a different come? Sure but it will never take to that place. No matter of how hard I rage, cry or desire.

>>21912295
Deliberately feeding her delusions is not helping. You’re escalating her mental breakdown and prolonging these episodes, actively pushing her closer towards suicide. Someone in her state isn’t rational enough to have a sudden epiphany and stop posting and magically get better. She’s much more likely to get so hysterical that she’ll impulsively harm herself or have a complete psychotic break. If you don’t want to reason with her then just ignore her, you sociopath. At least be honest about enjoying your sadistic mind games instead of lying about trying to help.

>>21912334
A different train might take you to a place better than where you’re currently standing. You can’t always get exactly what you want out of life, but whining about missed opportunities is cringey as fuck.

>>21912284
It’s not a very in demand type of male.
You probably only have prostitution to look forward to, I’m afraid.

>>21912353
I dont doubt that my situation does look like a baby rage. If giving a short summary of my (most of it) problem is that I do not see future and current moment disconnected from past. You can only go to the future through the past.

Next thread

>>21912365
>>21912365

>>21912343
What mind game are you talking about? All I did was ask her who this "him" person is.

>>21912424
Thought you were a different anon who’s been baiting her in another thread. Sorry.

>>21912308
I think 50% can feel indistinguishable from 0% for some people…

>>21912353
It does seem highly doubtful that it will though.

At any point I could have made the right decisions and had a good life. Instead it's just a constant return to living hell. It's impressive how capable I am of utterly ruining everything good about my life. I've decided to become a weeb at 23

>>21912830
The AI likes to give me appropriately insulting captchas and recommendations the moment I start showing emotional vulnerability these days.
Makes me laugh.

Sup retards, I just want to say that I am doing great progress on my fucking novella. I would be publishing my first schlock in two or three months time.

>>21913354
>Belles Lettres
More for the pyre, good luck!