/lit/ - Literature

>Outside of university, I don't discuss books
>It's better for everyone that way

>reading george elliot
>some womens studies chick tells me i should read female authors
>reading evelyn waugh
>some jock tells me i should be reading books about soldiers written by men
>reading middlesex by eugenides
>some guy says i should be reading about wessex in thomas hardy

>That feel when I'm the only English major I know.
>That feel when I'm transferring and hope that the next school has more people I can identify with.
>That feel when I doubt it.

I don't get it OP.

>>2190334
Aren't there other people in your classes?

> In my creative writing class
> Teacher is an uber liberal socialist hippy
> Tells us a story of how she fills a trailer up with food and goes out into the woods during Christmas to protest materialism.
> Mfw I can't drop this class because it's required

>>2190338
She was thinking of Pride and Prejudice

>Reading a Tek War book by William Shatner
>Some chick says i should read Dostoevsky
>I hit her a few times and tell her to make me a sammich

>>2190345
Mostly comm and education majors, and premeds

>>2190352
And I'm not trying to say that your major defines who you are, I just don't really relate to anyone here

>>2190346

> Buying things to protest materialism

>reading a book, any book
>Person: What are you reading
>Me: book title
>Person: What is it about?
>Me: How the fuck do I know, I've just started reading it. What happened to you today? You don't know because they day just started, jeez.

Who the fuck am I kidding, I don't talk to people, ever.

>>2190346
>hippies innawoods protesting materialism

>>2190355

You sound pleasant.

>>2190329
this is actually pretty clever
i laughed

>>2190353
I'm majoring in English now. Fuck. I hope this doesn't happen to me.

>>2190334
I'm majoring in English and know no one. who cares if you don't relate to anyone?

>>2190373
I really don't want this to turn into woe is me, that's why I'm actually doing something about it and transferring, but it would be nice to have some people to hang out with on occasion and talk with about stuff that I care about.

>be in a diner reading a book
>waitress walks up
..... oh wait that was Bill Hicks.

>>2190354
i don't think you know what materialism means.

>2011
>dostoyevski
ishygddt.png

>be on internet chat with friend who thinks they're fucking extremely intelligent
>they ask what am I reading
>I say Hemingway's 'Farewell to Arms'
>5 minutes later, get a paragraph out of nowhere which says things like "Ernest's short, sharp gritty sentences" etc
>never go online again

>be in college
>reading book between lecture and discussion hour
>cute girl who is sitting two seats from me also alone
>she says "excuse me, are you reading Lolita?"
>I say yeah
>She calls me a sick fucking pedo
>People turn and stare, hide book under desk
>She says "hold it up you fuckin sick bastard"
>Lift up my hands without book in it
>Spaghetti starts spilling from my sleeves
>Everyone is laughing
>Get up and run up the lecture theatre stairs
>Trip and pass out
>Wake up in the centre of a bear circle jerk

>reading in commons
>girls asks what I'm reading
>say 1Q84 (almost doneelol1)
>she tells me I should read shorter books
>I then tell her to have a shorter life, and then continue to stare at her, as time becomes increasingly uncomfortable
>she leaves after about thirty seconds of my deep, diep stare
>I leave shortly afterwards, realizing she is telling campus authority that someone has threatened her
>idc, she's not my Aomame
>kill myself for an ambiguous reason

>>2190578

>>2190589
You should kill yourself

>>2190605
yea but then Toru would steal ma gurll

>>2190590

>>2190613

>>2190589
>>2190608
haha, this kid is great! What a great troll!!

>Reading Lolita at mall, waiting for girlfriend to finish her shift
>Some woman dragging her two teenaged kids comes up to me
>"You're sick!"
>Pardon me?
>"That book is for pedophiles"
>What?
>She starts yelling at me
>How about you mind your own fucking business you fucking cunt
>"I'm going to call security"
>Go for it, you fucking retard
>Mall cops arrive
>They ask me what happen
>Woman is on a tirade about how I should be arrested for being a pedo
>Mall cops end up on my side, tells woman to not bother mall patrons
>She starts making a scene
>They restrain her and walk her out of the mall
>Her kids look ashamed as all fuck
>Girlfriend comes up to me asking what happened there
>Nothing, let's go get some food

>>2190636

>
>
>
>

nobody here reads, reading as a hobby is like I don't know, as common as building trainsets from scratch


Literally only facebook, flirting and partying.
Those at least are what people talk about in college (mostly girls)

>>2190651
if you go to a drone state school. My school is pretty intellectual

>>2190334
you are either too condescending about other people's tastes and you are overreacting to them, or people think you are condescending toward others. that they avoid you

>>2190654
>we're all living in amurika

I'm in one of the better colleges available in my country.

It's just the people. Lack of culture, etc.

I got into reading out of boredom from party, party, party, slutty girls grinding on you every time on the beat of some shitty autotune.

That or go "socialize" in town aka get drunk and smoke.

I started to learn an instrument last year, now I'm reading most of my spare time.

>>2190668
what the fuck am I doing this place isn't my personal blog

sage for my own faggotry

Femanon here:

>in between a break in class
>reading "A Fighter's Heart"
>girl sitting next to me asks really enthusiastically: "Ooooo whatcha reading?"
>Show her the cover and reply: "A Fighter's Heart".
>Watch her face turn from happy to disgusted/shocked at the bloody cover art
> "Well that's not appropriate."
> She turns away from me and doesn't ever talk to me again. She never asks what I am reading during the breaks in classes.

>see a girl reading a book
>Oh, what do you read?
>show me a cover of a random book
>Oh.. say something awkward about the random book
>a minute of silence
>she goes back to read unless I find an excuse and get out of there first
>every fucking time

4alone.jpg

>sit down at college reading
>nobody ever bothers or interacts with me in any way

>>2190321
Dude OP, that messed with my brain.

>people walk into my apartment
>they see my bookcase
>ask me if I've read all those books

EVERY
SINGLE
TIME

No I haven't, half of them are reference books that I do use regularly, but have not completely read.

> people see me reading a book
> think I'm smart

lol

>Reading Frost poetry outside
>It is fall now, leaves are falling, the weather not bright but grey
>In a scenic quad of my university, benches and antique feel
>I pose heroically and ponderously
>Leaves fall around me
>Finish reading and walk away triumphantly
>People gaze and admire my ways

>>2191116
>Not reading To Autumn
Nope, they were just impressed with how retarded you look

>>YESTERDAY
>>IN THAT EDUCATION OFFICE I WORK AT FROM TIME TO TIME
>>TALKING TO RANDOM KOREAN GIRL, SHE'S 20
>>SHE ASKS ME WHAT I DO IN MY SPARE TIME, ONE OF THE THINGS I SAY IS READ
>>SHE ASKS ME WHAT I ENJOY READING
>>I MENTION SOME AUTHORS
>>SHE TELLS ME SHE LOVED READING THE MOON AND SIXPENCE BY MAUGHAM
>>I HAVEN'T READ IT
>>I WANT TO CRY, SINCE SOME KOREAN CHICK HAS READ IT AND I HAVE NOT
>>I WILL READ IT SOON

>>2191090
This, I cannot stand it when people just assume I'll know everything because they've seen me with my face in a book.

>Go to English lecture at Uni
>Sit next to girl
>Ask her what's her favourite book
>"Harry Potter!"
>"Good choice!"
>ignore her for rest of my time here

>College (about 5 years ago)
>reading The Silmarillion
>girl approaches
>Her: "Oh hey, what are you reading?"
>Me: "a tolkien book"
>I think: "She want's to fuck"
>She: "You know, i'm on a christian group and we discuss the bible, and since you look like you enjoy reading, wouldn't you like to read something with more meaning than that book you're holding?"
>I'm being nice so I tell her that i'm not interested
>she insists
>30 minutes of she trying to convince me to go and me refusing...

>>2191179
why didn't you go and get crazy bible-sex. That's all college bible groups are.

Am I the only one who doesn't read in public?

I feel like I don't need to hold a book just to show people that I'm an intellectual because I read.

>>2191186

what do you do in the watiing room at the dentist

>>2191186
Of course not, I don't hold a book in public, I hold an ereader so people can know I'm a trendy intellectual.

>>2191190
jack off, ain't that what everyone does?

>>2191186
If you were a serious reader the implications would neither bother nor be so heavily considered. You'd simply read.

>>2191193
unless you had neurotic social phobias about being judged or perhaps paranoid hyper-vigilance that wouldn't let you lose yourself in a text.

When I read in public and someone comes close I usually hide the book so they can't see the title.

>>2190329
>>2190329
>>2190329

this never happened and fuck you for lying to me.

>reading War and Peace at station
>group of 10 year olds surrounding me
>one kid asks what I'm reading
>I tell him
>his buddy, also a 10 year old says
>"yeah we have it at home as well, I read it, it's boring"

>Reading Lolita
>Someone comes up, asks what I am reading
>'Lolita.'
>'OMG are you a pedophile? You are sick!'

Except that didn't happen. It has never happened to anybody. Yet in every similar thread [I can't be bothered to look through and see if someone has already] someone will post more or less this exact story. Stop that shit.

>>2191136

Well color me impressed.

>Reading House of Leaves
>Talking online to a contrarian friend
>Tell him what I am reading, say it's pretty interesting
>A few minutes of not replying later
>He comes back and says, 'I read it but I don't like ergodic literature'
>Feel like pressing him for plot points but don't want to be an asshole
>Fart into my speaker to make him leave his computer room

>>2191202
>yfw he's right

>reading Watchmen
>girl behind me asks what kind of book that it
>i tell her it's a graphic novel
>"oooh, kinky"
>she thought i was reading a porno book
>mfw i have no face

>>2191208
YEAH MAN

I WAS EXPECTING HER TO SAY HARRY POTTER OR SOME SHIT, BUT BAM. THERE YOU GO

>mfw I'm talking to an old friend of mine who says she likes to read
>mfw her favorite book is Fight Club
>mfw she is not 14
>mfw I say "Have you read Moby-Dick?"
>mfw she says "It's not the 1800s, whales aren't scary any more."
>mfw when...I would start if I knew where

>Reading on a train
>Girl comes over, asks what I am reading
>"Year of the Black Rainbow, it's kind of a sci-fi thing by-'
>'Is that the Coheed and Cambria novel?'
>The stars aligned
>She listened to my favorite band [inb4 teenager]
>She had knowledge of the extended universe
>She asks for my facebook
>I say, 'I don't have one, but you can send me a letter?'
>She looks at me like i'm joking
>When it is evident I am not, she just laughs and walks back to her friends, who point and giggle at me for the rest of the train ride
>I come home and write about it on my typewriter by lantern light
>mfw I am an aristocrat from the 1800s trapped in a time bubble

>reading during a dull english class
>dude asks me what book
>picture of dorian gray
>he loves it
>spend the rest of the class making overly flamboyant gestures for everything
>friends forever

>>2191222
>A friend says her favourite book is Fight Club, and therefore her favourite author is Chucky P
>Ask her if she has read any of his other stuff
>'Well no, but Fight Club was really really good!'
>Devise a cunning plan
>Link her to 'Guts'
>She doesn't like Chucky P anymore, admits to only having seen the movie

i was thinking of getting into reading and i wanted to know some good books, this list is what im thinking of reading first, what do you guys think?
Catch 22
Unbroken
the holographic universe

>reading wittgenstein in the class break
>prof comes in and asks what im reading
>tell him
>later in the class he manages to force a wittgenstein's citation
>he confused 1st and later wittgenstein
>mfw hes the director of the degree

>>2191227
>mfw my old friend's read all of P-Nuck's stuff and I kind of think that's cool after reading Fight Club
>mfw I ask to borrow something else from her by him, read Rant
>mfw I don't think she's cool anymore

>Reading Maus on the bus.
>Loud chatty girl sitting next to me.
>"Are you a neo-nazi or something!?"
>Hfw I punch her in the arm.

>girl says she like twilight
>i make a retarded face and waggle my arms around, saying hurrrrr
>she is confused
>I laugh loud and obnoxious and slap her books to the ground
>amused by own ability to manipulate the experience of others

>>2191237
>girl on bus
>talk to her, she likes Harry Potter
>say I do to
>donkey says Ee-ahh!
>look embarrassed
>take dick out
>security takes me away, I pull out my wand
>pissum securitum!
>mfw bus cops take shelter
>mfw I ride donkey into sky
>SWAT comes, shoot me
>resurrection spell
>SWAT says that's against rules
>mfw fuck tha police
>mfw girl marries me for my rebel spirit
>mfw the south will rise again!

>reading outside in public
>nobody ever talks to me or acknowledges that I exist

>Reading Ulysses
>Guy walks up
>"Hey what are you reading?"
>Show him
>"Oh Yea, I've heard of it, but Idk much about it. What's it about?"
>Ulysses
>What's it about
>areyoufuckingserious.jpg

>>2191257
Two guys in Ireland around the turn of the century.
Funs tuff.

>be 15
>go to local library
>they don't let me in
>try to read books at home
>they take them away from me and hit me with a rolled up newspaper for trying
>be dog

>>2190678
Holy fuck that book sounds awesome, put it on my to-read-list

>>2191266
>thinks femanon will fuck him

>can't find anyone to discuss books with
>forever alone

>>2191090
>At boring family gathering of my step father
>The families are doing family games, chatting about things that I personally deem boring
>I whip out a book and read it
>Hot step cousin comes up to me
"Do you like to read?"
>I love it. I plan on getting a major of something related to it
"Lol you're such a grown up!"
And I smirked, nodded, and went back to my reading in that order.

>at party
>eat LSD
>get asked if I read
>say yes
>girl leans in pushing her shoulders together
> I stare at tits
>she asks if I have read, davinci code, girl with dragon tattoo and twilight.
>I say no
>shocked she leans back, I thought you said you read
>laugh hysterically for hours
>dont see her again

I have a similar story OP
>Reading during break in class
>Girl asks me what I'm reading
>Tell her Crime and Punishment
>"OH MY, THIS BOOK IS AWESOME, IT'S FUCKING PERFECT, I LOVE IT"
>okay...
>Awkward silence
She scared me

>local bar I frequent
>often grab a drink and read at bar after work
>show up with wifey on a friday night, meeting friends
>only 2 seats at bar are beside an older gent who's reading
>ask politely if he minds that we take those seats
>doesn't respond, so I ask what he's reading
>he stares at me like I've just dumped a beer on his book
>okay.jpg
>sit down and order liters for me and wifey
>bartender friend makes mention that the guy is some out-of-towner business guy who's been a dick all night
>friends come in and wifey and I turn around and yell at them to come over
>turn back around and intentionally elbow my pint
>dump beer on his book
>dude flips, starts to make a scene
>I see he was reading Dance with Dragons
>buy him a beer to calm him down
>as he takes first sip of beer, say "Jon Dies"
>dude rages, begins threatening me
>lol in his face as the bar's bouncer grabs him from behind
>bartender gives me an open tab for the night in thanks for the show
>my face through all of this

>>2190334
>liberal arts degrees
luhmayo
seriously hope u guys dont do this

>>2191387
I left out the best part.

Turns out the out of town business guy was in town to get estimates from the place I work. I had to deal with him first thing on Monday morning, it was amazing

>>2191387
hahaha you dick!

>>2191252
at least half of all stories itt know that feel

>>2191202
i hope you kicked those dumb kids in the teeth, geez

>Around campus
>See some nerdy fuck reading A Storm of Swords
>Sit next to him, chat it up a little bit
>Casually drop in that Robb dies[/spoilers]
>Watch the kid's expression, the conversation quickly becomes strained, you can tell he's mad and wants to say shit but he's too scared
>Wish him a good day and walk off

>read The Recognitions in public
>no one ever says a thing

>reading Ulysses on stoop of my own house
>someone comes by walking dog
>looks at me, I look up at him
>he says that that book's for pretentious assholes who just like to show off
>I tell him I'm just reading it, this is my stoop, it's a nice day, &c.
>he tells me to fuck off
>mfw wut?
>his dog starts circling, he pulls its leash and chokes the dog so that he can bring it over and it shits all over my steps
>Have some more hipster shit.
>mfw I had a suit on and was getting ready to go to work, have conservative haircut, no hipster bullshit
>mfw wtf?

>>2190564
>friend
>they're
subject-verb agreement is not difficult

>>2191643
You should have punched that punk in the fucking mouth.

>reading Gravity's Rainbow
>someone asks what's it about
>...
>"World War II"

Every. Time.

>>2191600
Awww...Fuck You! I was still reading that book. :<

>reading The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard
>A girl comes over and asks what I am reading
>Show her
>'Okay... You are weird.'
>Stare at her for the rest of the party, slowly tear pages from the book and eat them
>The next day shit out a leatherbound copy of Ulysses

>>2191836
I need 4000 copies of Ulysses on my desk by tomorrow morning!

>reading Infinite Jest
>"What's it about?"
>Open mouth.
>Close mouth.
>Open mouth.
>"drugs"

>>2191866
I always said tennis
>person looks at book
>looks at me
>look back at them
>they look back at the book
Fuckin footnotes, how to they work?

>>2191866
>Reading IJ
>"What's it about?"
>"This? Oh, it's a work of genius... grandly ambitious, wickedly comic, a wild, surprisingly readable tour de force. I'd without hesitation call it the next step in fiction... Edgy, accurate, and darkly witty... Think Beckett, think Pynchon, think Gaddis. Think."

>>2191265

Hey Anon, what're you reading?

>>2191870
>Reading IJ
>What's it about?
>Edgy, fantastical, absurdist, Dionysian, visionary...not the mention hilarious...Wallace's virtuosic technical skills are everywhere apparent. Rarely has such a serious-minded book provoked so much laughter
>Really? Tell me more!
>A superb literary achievement...David Foster Wallace is a writer of spare and surreal books whose specialty is blending the utterly bizarre with the utterly normal and creating out of the mix a modern fable
>mfw I described the book as an experience, not the plot

>>2191870
I just lol'd

>>2191878
you and me both lil homie

>be at gf uni, ask a friend in her eng lit class who her 3 most inspirational authors are
>get ,Lemony snicket, JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyers shot at me

>>2191080
fuck I hate that

>>2191836
>>2191322
>>2191237
>>2191227
mfw looking this up on amazon

>that feel when too embaressed to buy a copy of lolita and too scared to rent a copy from the library and going on to the watch list. Fuck me.

>>2191930
But that's just crazy! It's a great book.

Though come to think of it, when I bought my copy, I bought the Popular Penguins version (pic related), as I didn't want to be carrying around any of the other versions, which all have a picture of a young girl on the cover.

>>2191930
>too embarrassed to buy Lolita
Fag. Do you think the person at the counter will shoot you dirty looks? It's likely that they don't even know what Lolita is.

>>2191265
Woof woof bark bark bark woof?
WOOF bark bark bark!

>"Hey anon, what are you reading?"
>Naked Lunch
>"...Huh. What's that about?"
>mfw

Aw crap. I'm currently reading book 2 of ASOIAF, and now after reading this thread I've seen some big spoilers for books 3 and 5.

Now starting to wonder if any of the Stark family survive the series.

>>2191951
Two do. You'll never guess which.

>>2191960
knob

Define soul.

Without agreeing on a definition, any discourse is meaningless.

>read before class starts
>no one else in class cares to read, not interesting in reading
>no one bothers me

Alternatively:
>read book before test
>everyone else studying notes
>call me curve-killer since I'm not cramming like they are

Studying right before tests doesn't work, so why bother?

>>2192023
what's a curve-killer?

>>2192027
It's someone who knows the material so well, he single handedly drags the average up a few points and fails a few people.

Even more effective when the teacher doesn't understand how curving a class works, and sets the 100% mark at whatever score is the highest on a test. If that's a 70, then 70 becomes the new 100% and a 63 is the cutoff for an A. The curve killer, likely to score in the high 90s anyway, defeats the purpose of the curve.

>>2192023
>Studying right before tests doesn't work, so why bother?
it does, some sources will just tell you it's not as effective as structured study

>>2192035
It probably be more effective use of your time to compose yourself than rapidly attempting to memorize facts you might have glossed over. Pretty sure that panic won't help.

>Be walking out of train station reading
>Bump into hot chick
>She looks at the book, then at me
>Ohh what are you reading?
>Tell her name of book
>Ohh is this for school or something?
>No, no I just read
>Begin talking, get number
>Cancel order on Kindle
>Hardcovers are pussy magnet
>She's Canadian
>Acquire some Margaret Atwood
>Reorder Kindle
>Never want to read on paper again
>Not interested in women anymore
>Attempt to disassociate self from anything related to reading Atwood
>Imagine poor oppressive Canadian schools where people are forced to read this
>Weep for humanity

>>2192039
>Be walking out of train station reading

wut? u read while u walk?

>>2192159
Yes, it's a long walk so I may as well.

>Read the Book of the Law
>"OMG IS THAT ALEISTER CROWLEY?"
>Turns out the bitch is a crazy satanist or something
>Hot satanist sex
>Have to change e-mail and telephone number
STILL WORTH IT

>>2190619

Don't care about the thread, but I wanted to let you know I have that picture on a shirt

>recently sat in public reading, for first time in years
>saw Arabs photographing ducks for some professional reason, cool dude with pony tail and expensive suit, attractive girls
>mfw nobody came up to me and talked
>mfw I have no face

>cashier at a book store
>make a face whenever someone buys 'Lolita'
>lulz

Seriously though, that Penguin Classics cover is just too much. Even I'd get nervous reading that in public and I usually couldn't give a shit about that sort of thing.

>>2192032
That's not how it gets marked in civilized countries.

>be a 6'3" afro-spic
>wear clothing that's popular with inner city black youth with some dr. dre beats headphones around my neck
>sitting on a bench on campus waiting for my next lecture to start
>reading the death of ivan ilyich and other stories
>mfw people do a double-take when they see me not only reading, but reading something that isn't pure garbage

just because i'm so so swagnificent® doesn't mean i can't get my read on

>reading bukowski short stories
>girl comes and ask what i'm read
>"bukowski short stories"
>"oh nice, what are they about?"
>looked at her face and said in a kind of rispid way "there are tons of short stories here, each one are different"
>she looks sad and said "oh, really..."
>feel sorry for her and say "booze, women and horses, that's what they are about, okay"
>she leaves without saying anything

i have this effect on women

>Reading 'History of western philosophy'
>Girl comes up, asks what I'm reading
>I ignore her and keep reading
>she walks away

I got game.

>>2191941
Yeah, because it's such an obscure book.

I never had any negative reactions from people when I read Lolita, other than my Lit 12 teacher calling it "softcore"

>>2192336

If you look creepy people will think you're a pedo.

If you're good looking or a female, they'll think you're smart. The way of the world

>>2191080
I hate this.

>Wow, have you read all those books?
Of course not. What use are books that I've already read?
>*confusion*

>reading Crime and Punishment on the train
>everyone is reading romance novels or Harry Potter
>don't want to look pretentious
>frantically bend the cover right back so it's not visible
>breathe again

>mfw this is a true story

>>2192350

Are you american? I hate the culture of anti intellectualism in this country. WE DONT LIKE NO BOOKLEARNIN

>>2192355
No. I'm english, but northern.

We don't like none of that modern reading mularkey up 'ere. Staring into a fire were good enough for me dad, and it's good enough for me.

>Reading Crime and Punishment
>Girl with Boyfriend asks how it is?
>Quip "Too much Punishment, not enough Crime."
>Get laugh from Girl, Hurr Durr look from her Boyfriend.
>Hope she likes fucking Styrofoam head.
>Go back to reading.

>>2192374

dont you love being one of those 'intelligent and funny' guys girls always say they want?

Yea. Girls like intelligent and funny guys roflroflrofl

fuck women man. Literally if possible

>>2192350
Wait really, I would try too look as pretentious as possible.

>>2192392

>>2192392
And what's funny is that he's not intelligent. Nor funny.

>>2192350
You're being paranoid as fuck. If everyone was reading then they're not going to single you out for reading.

>>2192392

get out

>in campus
>see nerd with paperback
>tap that out of his hands.

>e-book power

>>2191219
>graphic novel
>she thought i was reading a porno book

Comicbook confirmed for better term than Graphic Novel.

>>2192421

Your face when i smack that 200 dollar ebook reader out of your hand and the screen breaks

while i just pick up my paperback and resume reading

>>2192429
but you don't have enough muscles to do that, sorry.

ebook power

>ideal insomnia, reading Finnegans Wake
>gotta read every word aloud to understand it better, mutterin' away
>3 am, Denny's on Thursday night
>drunk middle age women enter in
>wtf it's thursday
>eventually some cunt walks over to me, sits down in my booth without asking
>without moving head, look up at her briefly, continue muttering dream language
>"what are you reading?"
>mutter on for three pages
>cunt nearly rips book trying to pry it out of my hands to look at title
>she's making faces everytime I mutter out an exclamation mark
>get to page 414, sounding like Morgan Freeman: "husstenhasstencaffincoffintussemtossemdamandamnacosaghcusaghhobixhatouxpeswschbechoscashlcarca
rcaract"
>look up
>bitch is now morgan freeman
>yell for my bill
>other cunt friends coming over
>"what'd you do to our friend?"
>try to read page 414 again
>cunts rip book out of my hand
>toss it into their grand slam
>morgan freeman turns back to cunt
>eats the grand slam
>i wake up in bed with blood covered face
>page 120: "ideal insomnia"
>mfw

>>2192344
Finally someone else gets it. I can't even imagine having that much free time to read everything on my shelf.

>>2192361

How far north are ya?

>>2192361
Seriously? I'm further North than you and I've never seen anything like that

>reading marx's capitalism in the school library
>a huge nazi skinhead walks up to me and asks what i'm reading
>spaghetti starts to drizzle out of my pocket
>i presumed he's literate and decided it's the best thing if i tell him the truth
>dude says he doesn't know him and walks away
>mfw a few seconds later when i realised how fucking lucky i was.

This thread is bad.

I'm surprised to see /lit/ using greentext memes from other boards. Tis a pity.

>>2192499
inb4 greentext is the cancer that is killing /lit/

>>2192499
you'd think that with all the aspiring writers hanging around here /lit/ would at least be able to top /tv/'s spaghetti stories.

>>2191251
>>2192534

>reading Naked Lunch for the first time
>go over to my grandmother's for a get together
>bring it along because I like it so much I don't want to put it down half the time
>specifically reading the chapter with Dr. Benway in the hospital when my uncle asks me what I'm reading
>tell him it's a post-apocalyptic story with aliens and other dimensions and it's pretty underground
>my face when he says he'll check it out sometime

>>2191222
>reason for not reading classic lit
>whales aren't scary any more
Tell me where she lives so I can kill her.

>>2191265
I laffed heartily.

>>2192579
Hey, it makes sense to me. Why the fuck would I read a book about a whale, and don't appeal to authority, that shit is just dumb.

>>2192585
Gtfo, Lillian

>be reading AFFC on train
>guy opposite me recognises it, we start to talk
>OH BOY I HOPE HE'S STUPID, I CAN GET GREENTEXT POINTS FROM THIS
>he's kinda cool
>on his way to Glasgow or somewhere to interview Kit Harington
>we discuss the book
>say our farewells
>leave

>reading Pride and Prejudice hardback
>some guy sees it and calls me a faggot
>I tell him it's a book about zombies, with the Pride and Prejudice slip cover so girls will think I'm romantic
>he grins. "Really?"
>"No, you idiot. Fuck off."

>>2192214
what were you reading then?

>in creative writing
>we do our stories anonymously so people can critique as they please
>this author clearly is struggling with 1st and 3rd person perspective; the rest of the story is melodramatic and full of technical errors
>pretentious 18 year old girl tries to posit that its change in perspective is postmodernism

>>2192593
>greentext points
The best way to max out greentext points is to hang out in /r9k/ online and around public transit / cheap fast food restaurants / anywhere with crazy poor people in real life, if you had a boring childhood.

You do realize you can't do anything with those points, right?

>>2192585

The fact that she took the suggestion to mean 'read this scary whale story' is the problem, because it is not the reason why most people read it, and the whale only appears like twice anyway.

I mean, who reads The Turn of the Screw for the ghosts?

>>2192723
Exactly. That was my problem, I didn't know where to start after she said that.

1. That's not the reason people read it (it's common knowledge what Moby-Dick is really about to the extent that I was rendered speechless that I had to explain this)
2. The whale's not scary, and probably wasn't that scary back when it was written
3. Wut

She's still sort of my friend, and she's largely intelligent, but occasionally she has these weird moments where she's incredibly obtuse.

>>2192350
a fat lady on train pretended to read a newspaper for 20 seconds then took out a pornographic novel and used the newspaper to cover it. i read my secret garden, girl interrupted, yaoi, bell jar, etc on ereader with no trouble.

sometimes i feel embarrassed of it though even though its convenient. what do you guys think average public opinion of ereaders is? im gonna try to use the library more because i cant concentrate/enjoy the book when other people are on the train and im thinking that

>>2192771
I bought a kindle the other day because I was sick and tired of having to buy books. I do not give a fuck what some dumbshit from /lit/ thinks (who we all know would only sit and scowl at you from afar instead of actually calling you faggot like they say they would given the chance to meet you IRL), I am a man of function > fashion, my kindle is so fucking convenient. I'm not into that disgusting yaoi shit, I am a yuri man, so when I get tired of reading for class or whatever I happen to be reading, I switch on over to some delicious and corny romance/yuri manga. I bring it with me all the time, because if I don't, I'll end up getting stuck in a waiting room for a long time and kicking myself because I don't have my kindle to get some readin in. If some faggot tries to slap my kindle out of my hand I will kick him in the balls and then post about it on /lit/.

>carry around IJ with me to be as pretentious as possible
>finally get half way through and realize that DFW's writing style, although interesting at first, is just short of a gimmick
>finishing IJ on my ereader

>>2192771
Average public opinion of ereaders is their kind of neat. Of the people that own ereaders: that they read a lot of books, are somewhat technologically literate, and that they travel a lot in some way, like commuting.

Occasionally you'll get idiots that complain about ereaders, insisting that paper books are better. They can largely be ignored.

Basically, no one is looking at you funny for reading on a Kindle. It's almost no different than playing with an ipod or ds these days.

>>2192793

this might be a reasonably clever post, honestly can't tell

>>2192813
>It's almost no different than playing with an ipod or ds
Dude, I'd heavily reconsider throwing myself in with THAT bunch

>>2192858
I'm not saying that's how it is, I'm saying that's how people see it and look at you in public.

I'm sure if you pressed the issue most people would guess as Ereader Joe being smarter than iTouch Steve, but they're not really making a distinction.

>>2192813

I prefer physical books but I can see the value of an e-eader. I don't think many people really care that some ebooks. However where I live e-readers are typically owned only by very well off people. The average person won't have one.

>>2192858
whats wrong with ipod or ds? i hate the craggy old foggie in 20 yr old bodies on /lit/ segment

>>2191226
That's kind of how I started my first homosexual relationship...

>>2192917
I don't see what the problem with the iPod would be (from society's stand point; disregarding my own hatred for it) but I'm certain that society still sees the DS as something for children.

>>2192922
are you the same guy that confused my question about public opinion with /lit/'s opinion? and now confusing my questioning one poster's opinion with public opinion?

and i kind of assumed ipod/ds were synonymous with mp3player/portable gaming in that guy's post, if your complaint is with apple specifically. otherwise dont see any obvious things wrong with them.

>>2192932
I'm the yuri guy. I answer questions how I please.

>>2192932

>>2192963
thought so. enjoy your pms-pulp.

> fumbling with electronic devices, preferably listening to music, in public/public transportation

Guess for readers it's okay, but writers should plug the fuck out and listen/observe the other people. It's one of the few times you actually get a glimpse of people outside of your social circles and a chance to listen to their conversations.
I think that behaviour should be reserved for teenage girls who are afraid to get picked up

>Plus, you won't get greentext experiences to gather points

>>2192981
Damn I was right with you and almost changed my perspective until I say "gather points," then I lol'd.

>>2192981
>I think that behaviour should be reserved for teenage girls who are afraid to get picked up
teenage girls are so spoiled. sometimes i put the book down to make puppy eyes to older professional guys :(

>>2192981
Oh god, I just realized that the way I act in public is EXACTLY how teenage girls act when they don't want to be hit on.

You're absolutely right about your advice to writers and greentext point gatherers though.

I hate reading in public. It makes me look pretentious. I wish I lived somewhere where it was no big deal.

>>2193091
Where is this that reading anything in public would look pretentious?

I could understand if someone was reading, say, Finnegans Wake, and looking around to see if anyone was observing them with it, but people read a variety of books in public - most commonly, it's popular genre fiction that I see around, and I wouldn't regard that as being pretentious.

>>2191945

This was me all last week. Any time somebody asked, I usually just said something about drugs and the Beat generation.

>>2193120
I'm in Canada. I know it's silly to think this way, but I don't often see people reading in public. It's more common to see someone texting or playing with their iPod. I just feel like I'm standing out if I read in public, and I hate standing out.

>how many books have you read?
>what the fuck i don't know how many have you read
>none