/lit/ - Literature

New work:

> micz.substack.com/p/dannunzio-the-last-days-of-mankind

Wrote this while in bed with a fever, hopefully that doesn't come across.
Im all better now.

>>21828843
Also I thought of leading with this image but perhaps not

First! I have claimed this thread for the Romanian Nation.

>>21828847
> First!
You did what now.
What is this youtube?

>muh tolkien muh GRRM
I won't shit on either, but if you're writing fantasy do yourself a favor and read pic related

Do you guys actually write? And if so, why?

>Don't give up.
>Don't allow sadness to crush your spirit.
>Strive to make the art that will change it all.
>Push back against the failure of culture to maintain its strength.
>Drag it kicking and screaming with you, if you have to.
>Feel pity if you must. Feel sadness, feel rage, feel hopeless, and feel fury. Then write.

>>21828843
Why are you simping for some dead poofter?

>>21828880
I like his poetry despite almost everything else.
He was liar and a cheat and wrote exactly the sort of political poetry i think people should avoid , but somehow he had that ancient greek gift of writing about politics and the glory of death while sounding almost naive.

I dont like his novels, but Laudi reads like something from a different century, in a way most other more self conscious writers just couldn't approach.

An an extra here are the dogs from the poem.

>>21828847
Buna ziua Romanian anon

>>21828843
You did that poll on which poem should be published right? I would have voted for this one if it was around. Good work.

Also I'm not sure slinked is a word.

>>21828904
It is, it means to move stealthy.
The most common way I hear it used is
"He slinked around the corner."
Didn't read anon's stuff but I assume he used it right.

>>21828904
Yeah, i decided on the Chalk Vandals and Dorothy Osborne poems. I've got 3 months now to write the new material.

Merriam webster had 'slinked' so i went with it, all though the spell checking software tells me it's incorrect.
'Crept past' just didnt convay that slightly sheepish manner i wanted for them

> Slink:
> to move or go in a furtive, abject manner, as from fear, cowardice, or shame

That sounds about right. D'annunzio tried to bribe and then threaten the local priest to stop him ringing the church too early in the morning.

>>21828869
I write because the story I want to read isn't written.
Why do you write anon?

what is the best alternative to google docs?

>>21828967
Unironically, just use Notepad. Unplug from the internet and focus on writing.

>>21828967
Something like this

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/OnlyOffice

That you install on your own server (mobile wikipedia because the tranny freaks destroyed the desktop version)

>>21828977
i like being able to get to my work from my phone or my laptop

Fantasy writers, are you trying to appeal to a certain age demographic?

Thoughts on this? I reworked it from the one I posted in the previous thread.

>>21828967
Scrivener is literally perfect for me, it was well worth buying it outright

>>21829024
Yeah. I'm writing what appeals to ME.

>>21828869
Yes, I write every day. I've just always wanted to since I was young and as a reclusive faggot I don't have much else to look forward to in life. Most of my life was spent being unable to express myself because I lived in a dangerous home, so writing appeals to me as a way to be free.

I am half expecting my naive dreams of success to be dashed by AI-tards in the next couple of years as it becomes the norm for dull people to push "make art" buttons, mix up text like literary DJs so they can write "I did a thing!" blog posts, and start companies devoted to churning out commercially viable genres as books or content streams faster than readers can read the firehose of shit. But I'm gonna keep writing anyway.

Alright so I am probably gonna get a lot of shit from this but hello ladies and gentlemen I am an aspiring advertiser and trying to learn the skills of the trade. I am getting into this stuff and I am gonna learn seo, digital ads, copywriting all the good stuff yeah? I thought to myself alright if I am gonna do this I need real world projects to work on to actually pragmatically improve in this shit and I thought alright I need a product yeah? So whats the easiest product I can shit out in a month or two? A braindead ebook! Made entirely for practicing my marketing skills. Now I will also be writing blog posts and starting a website around this so that I can start a newsletter like every griffter does. I know I can easily get a sense of whats trending in the kindle space and shit out an ebook around that but my question is, how do I actually stretch a blog post to a size of a 120 around pagesish ebook? Lets say I got the topic, got chatgpt to shit out random points how do I actually stray away from the main point of the book for so long that it actually becomes a book?
I have no respect for the craft of writing or any one of you art hoes but ohoi hoi boink piggy dick faggot give us ideas about filler and shit yeah? I am kinda drunk so yeh

Tight, vivid, precise, pacy, direct, specific, concrete. I repeat this every time I sit down to write. Saul Bellow says of a writer he esteems that he has 'the hardness of attack that I favor'. I want to have the hardness of attack that Bellow favours. But it's tricky.

What I want is to write like Waugh:
>He pushed a typewritten slip into William's hand. 'Cut along there quick. Take a taxi. Don't bother about your hat. You're in a newspaper office now.'

>William read the slip. 'Mrs Stitch. Gentlemen's Lavatory Sloane Street.'

>'We've just had this 'phoned through from the policeman on duty. Find out what she is doing down there. Quick!'

>A lift door flew open at their side. 'Going down,' cried a Caucasian.

>'In there.'

>The door snapped shut; the lift shot down; soon William was in a taxi making for Sloane Street.

>There was a dense crowd round the public lavatory. William bobbed hopelessly on the fringe; he could see nothing above the heads except more heads, hats giving way to helmets at the hub. More spectators closed in behind him; suddenly he felt a shove more purposeful than the rest and a voice said, 'Way, please. Press. Make way for the Press.' A man with a camera was forging a way through. 'Press, please, Press. Make way for the Press.'

>William joined in behind him and followed those narrow, irresistible shoulders on their progress towards the steps. At last they found themselves at the railings, among the policemen. The camera man nodded pleasantly to them and proceeded underground. William followed.

>'Hi,' said a sergeant, 'where are you going?'

>'Press,' said William, 'I'm on the Beast.'

>'So am I,' said the sergeant. 'Go to it. She's down there. Can't think how she did it, not without hurting herself.'

>At the foot of the steps, making, for the photographer, a happy contrast to the white tiles about it, stood a little black motor-car. Inside, her hands patiently folded in her lap, sat the most beautiful woman William had ever seen. She was chatting in a composed and friendly manner to the circle of reporters and plain clothes men.

>'I can't think what you're all making such a fuss about,' she said. 'It's simply a case of mistaken identity. There's a man I've been wanting to speak to for weeks and I thought I saw him popping in here. So I drove down after him. Well it was someone quite different but he behaved beautifully about it and now I can't get out; I've been here nearly half an hour and I've a great deal to do. I do think some of you might help, instead of standing there asking questions.'

>Six of them seized the little car and lifted it, effortlessly, on their shoulders. A cheer rose from the multitude as the jet back rose above the spikes of the railings. William followed, his hand resting lightly on the running-board. They set Mrs Stitch back on the road; the police began to clear a passage for her. 'A very nice little story,' said one of William's competitors. 'Just get in nicely for the evening edition.'

>>21829318
I want to write like Woolf in The Waves:
?'All my ships are white,' said Rhoda. 'I do not want red petals of hollyhocks or geranium. I want white petals that float when I tip the basin up. I have a fleet now swimming from shore to shore. I will drop a twig in as a raft for a drowning sailor. I will drop a stone in and see bubbles rise from the depths of the sea. Neville has gone and Susan has gone; Jinny is in the kitchen garden picking currants with Louis perhaps. I have a short time alone, while Miss Hudson spreads our copy-books on the schoolroom table. I have a short space of freedom. I have picked all the fallen petals and made them swim. I have put raindrops in some. I will plant a lighthouse here, a head of Sweet Alice. And I will now rock the brown basin from side to side so that my ships may ride the waves. Some will founder. Some will dash themselves against the cliffs. One sails alone. That is my ship. It sails into icy caverns where the sea-bear barks and stalactites swing green chains. The waves rise; their crests curl; look at the lights on the mastheads. They have scattered, they have foundered, all except my ship, which mounts the wave and sweeps before the gale and reaches the islands where the parrots chatter and the creepers . . .'

>>21829318
I want to write like Woolf in The Waves:
>'All my ships are white,' said Rhoda. 'I do not want red petals of hollyhocks or geranium. I want white petals that float when I tip the basin up. I have a fleet now swimming from shore to shore. I will drop a twig in as a raft for a drowning sailor. I will drop a stone in and see bubbles rise from the depths of the sea. Neville has gone and Susan has gone; Jinny is in the kitchen garden picking currants with Louis perhaps. I have a short time alone, while Miss Hudson spreads our copy-books on the schoolroom table. I have a short space of freedom. I have picked all the fallen petals and made them swim. I have put raindrops in some. I will plant a lighthouse here, a head of Sweet Alice. And I will now rock the brown basin from side to side so that my ships may ride the waves. Some will founder. Some will dash themselves against the cliffs. One sails alone. That is my ship. It sails into icy caverns where the sea-bear barks and stalactites swing green chains. The waves rise; their crests curl; look at the lights on the mastheads. They have scattered, they have foundered, all except my ship, which mounts the wave and sweeps before the gale and reaches the islands where the parrots chatter and the creepers . . .'

>>21828843
What do you recommend of his, ideally in translation.
Also how many drafts do you do?

Regardless, this made me want to know more about the man.

>>21829348
> translation

Sorry i dont know.
I like his middle period. Like all poets he started of very lush and romantic, and even a little abstract, and then moved on to more brutal blood and iron type stuff.
Even in italian he is not that easy, and often employs outdated classical forms, in the way people like Pound later did. Except D'annunzio was never (or rarely) incomprehensible.

Laudi is my favorite. That whole middle period is something else.


As for drafts, im not sure what you mean. I have an idea and i usually take a few runs at it before im happy with the result.
In the spirit of outdated stanza forms this poem was originally written as a villanelle (which admittedly is french) but i was unhappy with the result, so i wrote it out normally but with an extra syllable on the third and filth line to have it read slightly off kilter.

I think it works with it's offbeat rhythm, but i guess im the wrong person to judge.

I posted so many different excerpts of stories here, anons are starting to recognize my prose. Oh fuck.

>>21829401
Based prolific

>>21828967
Libregen

>>21829133
Rupi Kaur-tier

I'm writing a paper on Europe's refugee crises right now.

Can I say "In 2015/16, the immigration of X million asylum-seekers..."
I'm trying to find an alternative word, because, obviously "migration" is on the one hand not the same as seeking asylum, but on the other, it just means the movement of people.

>>21829468
Just write "an exodus of x million people"

>>21829468
just change the verb to be more specific about their asylum status:
x million were given asylum
x million applied for asylum in...
Europe granted asylum to x million refugees

>r8 this opening to a short story

The mist of Red Creek Valley stained their clothes. It was a subtle change as the men trekked down the mud-covered road. Respirators kept it from their lungs, but their clothes felt sweated-through before they had even gone a mile. The government had promised the mist wasn’t poisonous, but there had been had no explanation why spirits vanished while monsters remained. The three of them had no magic to rely, just their guns.

Under-barrel flashlights swung beams of light through the white haze, catching barren trees and rusted street signs. They were surrounded by the scarecrows of Zach’s childhood. Unlike when the world split, he was as prepared as he could be. He and Yates each had three fifteen-round mags of hide-busters, but they only had to find the monster. Vinny was the one that would kill it, that was why he got to ride on top of the Heffer, behind the .50 cal.

>>21829468
Woah, synchronicity. I'm copy-editing a book on this subject for my job, and the author (a political scientist) uses 'migration' in that context. It should work fine.

>>21829496
Alternatively, use 'influx'.

>>21829472
Yeah, but I am writing about the EU's reaction to that specifically, so it's more about their entrance haha
>>21829478
Nah, I don't want that yet. I first want to describe the situation, THEN I get to the point that some countries granted more asylum than others

>>21829499
Yeah, I used that on my other sentence already.
>>21829496
Alright, sounds good! I am comparing the EU's reaction to the 'refugee crisis' of 2015/16 and the current one from Ukraine, so I am using words several times, that's why I am looking for alternatives.

>>21829486
>It was a subtle change
find another way to describe that the change was subtle without stating that it was subtle
>The government had promised the mist wasn’t poisonous, but there had been had no explanation why spirits vanished while monsters remained.
mess of a sentence. Even if you fixed the typo, I don't know what you mean. Is the intent to say "there was no other explanation as to why the spirits vanished and the monsters remained"? Also when you write something like "the government had promised" and it still works without the word "had" as just "the government promised" you should remove the "had".
>Under-barrel flashlights swung beams of light through the white haze, catching barren trees and rusted street signs
you're in the second paragraph, narrow in on a subject that is actively doing something to push time forward. "Zach swung his under-barrel flashlight over barren trees and rusted street signs."

be mindful of you "had"s—be mindful of how your sentences represent the order of events as they happen, with what degree of immediacy, and with what granularity of time. If you don't pay attention to these things, the reader gets an unpleasant whiplash and likely will be confused.

>Now come days of begging, days of heft. Days of riding where there rode no soul save he. He’s left behind the pinewood country and the evening sun declines before him beyond an endless swale and dark falls here like a thunderclap and a cold wind sets the weeds to gnashing. The night sky lies so sprent with stars that there is scarcely space of black at all and they fall all night in bitter arcs and it is so that their numbers are no less.

>>21829527
>"had"s—be mindful of how your sentences represent the order of events as they happen
The reason I said "the government HAD promised" is because no agent of the apparatus is there to make the promise. I'm referring to the setup of the scene, not the scene itself. If I omitted the 'had' it would seem like they were in communication with some organization that moment.

What are some keys to writing a successful blurb?

>>21829468
invasion. tell it like it is

>>21829576
punchy. don't overuse proper nouns

>>21829569
>If I omitted the 'had' it would seem like they were in communication with some organization that moment.
no it wouldn't because none of your sentences are in the moment anyway. Nobody would think that the government was there, personified, promising things to the people hiking. Pay more attention to how your sentences present time and space and forward momentum.

>>21829401
Or the content.

Is writing realistic fiction even worth it anymore?
Fantasy and poetry seem to dominate the readers' preferences, every mainstream book out there is either a fantasy novel about a princess or expressionist poetry.

>>21829638
Keep writing your burger story anon. Someone will read it someday

>>21828843
> Still at his feet he saw the dogs and whores
> Each creature operated as it ought

I like the very insect like, atomizing view which he probably had. I left you a comment and I think you are generally wasted on this site. Lit is for meme writers, don't fall into the trap of thinking f Gardner is a team writer.

>>21829651
Real writer*

>>21829638
Why do you care about the mainstream and what people buy?

>>21829651
>lit is for meme writers
What a weird meme. It's not for anyone, it's just a place to post and discuss

>>21829671
Because it has an impact on what new readers will be oriented towards

>>21829651
First of all thanks, im glad you liked it.
For what it's worth I dont think of lit as anything other then a place to get some feedback, and maybe a little bit of an engagement , as people have been subscribing.
Also the substack has had some success. I've been offered to have a few poems published in an anthology, which is nice, and i have no doubt that having an existing platform has made that decision easier on the publisher.

How should my teenaged (16 yo) characters keep up with their studies while also fighting a shadow war against extraterrestrial demons?

>>21829812
By studying at the café when it rains, rainy days give a bonus to studying.

>>21829812
by paying some nerds to do it for them

>>21829812
Yu-Gi-Oh never broached that subject...I say, just ignore it.

>>21829812
In the hentai game Celesphonia, she became known as a delinquent.

>>21828967
>computer illiterate zoomers actually

>>21829812
Any serious answers? Come on, guys. Help me out here.

>>21829828
>say, just ignore it.

If I can't figure something out by Tuesday, that's what I'll do. Can't cover every hole


I suppose I can also try to space out the incidents so that they don't waste more than seven or eight days in a term. Or add older people who can handle things most of the time.

Maybe an authority figure in the school that can bend a few rules in their favor.....

>>21829892
My answer was serious, that's hot it worked in Persona 5

>>21829133
Rumi-tier

how do you people cope with having to painstakingly walk on eggshells in order to avoid offending somebody or getting censored or receiving death threats from random asshurt chudlets?

>>21829932
i am filled with hatred and want to offend everybody in this faggot earth but im afraid of what the potential consequences for such a thing could be

>>21829932
by being writing such impenetrable prose that nobody will read it anyway, let alone try to cancel me over anything in it

>>21829947
>inb4 suck it up and deal with it or just like, dont offend anybody, okay?

>>21829905
What was your answer?

>>21829932
Never reveal your real name or identity, and be ready to change your alias at a moment's notice. And strictly keep to forum rules, without any attempts to look for loopholes.

Defiance will only get you kicked out from everywhere.

>>21829932
i've thought about it. i'm posting a fic somewhere and it will feature a 17 year old in the 1800s who got married. i'm actually expecting people to seethe in rage and try to cancel me, even though i'm not sexualizing it at all and it's just practical and realistic for the story demands.

i think the purity witchhunt will be the death of literature. i used to wonder why de sade felt the need to be such an edgelord. now i know he was just a reactionary trying to destroy censorship.

>>21829932
>>21829947
I simply remind people that I'm autistic, and I can't be expected to foresee their highly emotional reactions, and how they should be more tolerant of my differences, since I was born this way & can't change.
If that doesn't work, I ask them if they used to pick on nerds in middle school. That usually shuts them up.

>>21829956
>forums
im talking about publishing writings

Finally started to write on the story/novel i wanted to write for quite a while, the ''actually starting'' obstacle has been overcome so now all i have to is finish it, i think my main issue was that i kept having the feeling im not experienced enough but if i never start in the first place i dont even get the desired experience, ty all for the tips a few threads ago in terms of first person writing.

>>21829963
>17 year old in the 1800s
>realistic
more like 10-16
>>21829967
ive thought about those kinds of jewish tactics but i just dont know if im willing to commit to that sort of thing

>>21829701
>new readers
they are consuming mainstream slop

>>21829956
>What was your answer?
Study.

>>21829963
>will be

>Looking for feedback on the prologue for my isekai litRPG, which will be titled "Guild Punk"


His fingers slipped from the keyboard, trembling with the weight of his responsibility. A million souls had already embarked, while six million more waited in the queue, but that number was quickly dwindling. Their servers should be able hold, to process everyone who wanted to join humanity’s last adventure.

Beads of sweat trickled down his furrowed brow, affected by the sweltering world outside. He hadn't anticipated this feverish prelude to the grand finale. The world blazing with the heat of what would soon mark its doom.

But, the hard part of his job was done. All that remained was to observe and pray the system held. Pray that humanity could be uninterrupted during its last hurrah.

It was such an incredible feat putting this all together with so little warning. Under normal circumstances, meeting a deadline would be celebrated with his colleagues. Normally with a drink. But now, those same colleagues - his friends - had left him behind as they boarded the ark themselves. It had to be this way. Someone had to remain, a sentinel to ensure the system's success, to safeguard this fragile remnant of humanity... To...

To play god...

A wistful smile crossed his face as his gaze fell below the desk, to the bottom drawer his team wouldn’t dare open if one of the higher-ups were to mosey in. He smiled. He had to. This deserved a celebration, but he had no one to share it with. He was utterly alone.

Or was he?

He opened the drawer and removed a bottle of whiskey along with two glasses. He glanced at the screen. Two million down, and another 7 million queued up. The higher-ups would have been happy about the numbers. Their approval was irrelevant now.

A tear traced its way down his cheek. He had done it. He saved them all. It was a fleeting salvation, nothing more than an illusion. In the real world, their existence would be erased in a mere fifteen minutes, but within the digital realm, they would experience lifetimes.

For now, he would watch over them. He would be their god. A benevolent deity cherishing his children. Cherish every single one of them who he swore to protect. He would not be like this other, fickle god that has grown bored and decided to pull the plug. He vowed never to be that kind of god.

But first things first. A celebration was in order. He turned to the only colleague that remained.

Setting the glasses on the windowsill, he poured the amber liquid as the crimson sky bore witness. In a mere fifteen minutes, he would die as any mortal would, but until then, he was a god.

He raised his glass.

Cheers.

You heartless bastard.

>>21829982
Follow up by making it clear how offended you are that they won't respect your differences.
Also, turnabout is fair play; throw their thin skin right back at them.

>>21828869
I turned on the bathroom light, the face looking back from the mirror was a dog. I had the head of a dog. This disturbed me less than it should have, it even excited me.
As I bit the throat of my third victim I realized there was no compulsion that made me do it, it just seemed appropriate for a werewolf type of situation.

>>21829932
I try to offend everyone

>>21829985
The cafe thing was you?

>>21830058
Yes.

>>21830048
me too you inbred cum swilling faggot, me too.

>>21829623
I am not agreeing with you about the 'had', however I posted the passage because I wasn't happy with it, and I think the nature of the exposition I used was the issue and makes the sentence moot. Thus, some rework:


Walls of mist rose about the men as they trekked down the mud-covered road. It stained their clothes like sweat and cut them off from the world. The last thing Zach’s fairy said was a promise the mist wasn’t poisonous, before the little mote of thought and will vanished. Their cell reception vanished too. They clicked on their under-barrel flashlights, punching out at the valley with light. They struck shadows against the mist, the scarecrows of Zach’s childhood.

Barren trees, collapsed hills, and abandoned buildings sat around the winding road. At the edge of the town, cars still packed against one another, abandoned. He and Yates circled wide, lest the webbing snare them. The two of them took the lead, gravel crunching beneath their boots as the Heffer followed behind. Zach was no more than a dozen yards from Vinny on the .50 cal, but still the mist seemed to devour the servo motor whine of the weapons platform. He nearly walked right into the burbling creek before he heard it.

https://pastebin.com/k95Qz28d
I revised the outline for my fantasy story. It's still sort of a rough draft, and I have yet to *fully* flesh out the basic lore, but it looks like a solid start.
Give me your thoughts on the prose and how the lore comes together. Or anything else.

>>21829963
Anon, there's something you clearly are not mentioning, because there's not a single person in the world who's going to be that butthurt about a fictional 17 year old being married in a fictional story. You are preemptively victimizing yourself.

>>21830010
gud

>>21829133
i am writing
in
lowercase
a bunch of
garbage
separated
into different lines
the intent of which
could be
interpreted as
anything
as to give an excuse
for my pretentiousness.

hey guys it's me the dude that writes erotica about dudes that bone their moms
just wanted to wish everyone a good day. I had a release early this week and made almost $150!
Looking forward to the day where I get a little more breathing room and can actually write something more respectable and intellectually challenging. Just want to send a kudos to all the anons that are writing their dream lit and are persevering. I think you're all awesome and hope I can join you guys someday.

>>21830208
look up the current drama about "antis"

>>21830244
you know, maybe the purity lynch squads have a point. i rescind my previous posts.

>>21829133
trash
shit prose, and ineffective as poetry

>>21830196
>outline
>prose
???
what is this new way you've found to avoid actually writing? what is this? is this an extended blurb outlining the whole plot but attempting to be somewhat prosaic?
why?

>>21830244
Um. Sigh. Checked, I guess.

>>21830196
>though it is even among the Great Cities.
The even is awkward, its either "among the Great Cities," or its "among some of the grandest settlements in the world, *even* rivalling the Great Cities" or something like that.
>His army, which rivals any king's forces throughout the land
Are these kings his subordinates or kings of hostile countries? If the former, it should be princes instead to show the emperor's vanity (there can be no king but the emperor, the king of all kings), if the latter, call them rival kings or foreign warlords to indicate conflict without directing saying that there is conflict.
>reveals himself to be not a sorcerer, but indeed a power-hungry wizard
This is awkward. I know you're trying to differentiate wizards and sorcerers, but to help clarify that, maybe put something like "he was no run-of-the-mill sorcerer, but a full-blown, power-hungry wizard. I know my descriptors suck, but something in that vein is needed, because sorcerer and wizard just seem like synonyms.
>now survey the lands
I think you're looking for surveil, not survey, but I think patrol or stalk the lands would sound even better.
>the townspeople are cursed into servitude, and the slaves that were below the townspeople are emboldened by that magic
I'm thinking "the townspeople are cursed into servitude (by the wizard's magic), but their slaves conversely became more emboldened"
I just don't like the usage of townspeople twice
>As the wizard did the emperor, the demon ultimately tricks the wizard.
"Such as the emperor was deceived by the wizard, the wizard was deceived by the demon"
this is just another personal stylistic thing.
> horrific abstraction that the human mind cannot comprehend
"horrific abstraction that strains the imagination"
>lest the Wizard's eternal army, who seeks the emperor, find him
"lest the Wizard's eternal sentinels spy him"
>Though thousands of years have passed, the kings of the Great Cities have yet fallen under the Wizard's spell... [F]or those kings and even their forebearers have sworn their allegiance to the Wizard's timeless and worthy cause.
The "though thousands of years have passed" part doesn't really make sense. Are you saying something along the lines of "Though thousands of years have passed, the old kingdoms remain yet bewitched by the wizard"?

how can I write like Paul Graham bros? keep in mind I have no original thoughts and nothign to say

>>21830337
>is this an extended blurb outlining the whole plot but attempting to be somewhat prosaic?
yes
>why?
because i want to know if my story is interesting or not before i commit to writing anything more than small blurbs and scenes
>what is this new way you've found to avoid actually writing?
kekkerino, i can see now how this comes off as some sort of cop-out. i guess i'm not putting my intent out there clearly enough. my main concern is whether or not the story is interesting and whether or not the writing is coherent or if i'm trying way too hard.
>>21830363
very much appreciated.
i'll be back to clarify some things in a bit, but you're being helpful, thank you

>>21830381
concepts and ideas are practically worthless. once you start writing the actual story I'll critique your prose
it's absolutely just wasting your time to worry about composition of story telling. beginners get all up in a tizzy about that stuff and it paralyzes them, or worse, sets them back a retarded step as they passively absorb storytelling advice. you'll get a sense of plot directing and irony, drama, and all that as you go along, but you'll just smother yourself if you overthink it now
storytelling is hard, prose is easy. fortunately working in prose leads to practicing stories

I appreciate the token attempt at actually writing, but stop putting off working in prose. you're just delaying your own growth and progress

Gardner insider here. You guys are not going to believe this. But F Gardner is about to unleash his antisemetic magnum opus upon us all

>>21830244
Does erotica really make that much?

>>21830244
I'm tired of my job
how do I break into the erotica world
I've been told that my writing is pornographic on multiple occasions, even though I don't depict sexual things

>>21830417
It's probably the easiest way for bad authors to make money since quality standards are insanely low. There's more money in romance and other popular genrefic if you're competent though.

>>21828837
Might seem difficult to believe, but the numbers don't lie. Mike Ma still holds top position, but we very nearly had a full-scale Gardner blowout at the Top Ten this week. At six books, Gardner has now seized the record for most books ranking at once. Several new faces have also made their first appearance, with Adem Luz Reinspect's Mixtape Hyperborea showing a strong lead. He can imitate Mike's style, but only time will tell if he has what it takes to unseat him. K.R. Hartley's Chicken World is making waves, with many anons curious about the &amp editor's literary prowess.

As such, a few prominent names have taken a look at the free Amazon previews for Chicken World and have shared their thoughts.

In the Gossip Catalog, James Krake finds himself the target of what appears to be a grudge (?) held by Zulu Alitspa. As many of you predicted, our original estimation for the release of the Horia Belcea film was a bit optimistic. And finally, it's time to get your shit together; the editor of &amp is taking names and reviewing books.

>>21830455
This is probably because F Gardner said he has new books coming out.

>>21830475
If that's the case, where's the surge in my sales? I've got a book coming out April 3rd

>>21830403
I'm even more inside Gardner and he told me his next book is a historically accurate period romance about pirates. Half the characters only speak Welsh.

>>21830475
"duh probly this prolly tha" F I'm going to kill you, you astroturfing ink guzzling grass chewing invertebrate herbivore number inflating fraud piece of shit.

>>21830519
You two are the best part.

>>21829812
Each of them should probably have a subject that they are good at and they let the others basically cheat off of them.
You could have them end up with very poor attendance but they still pass their classes through make up courses and summer school.
Depending on what their powers are you could have them breaking into school and outright looking up the answers to tests. Bonus points if they need to know something and they mess up because the don't actually have knowledge of the subject because they have just been cheating.

>>21828843
solid work.

>>21829932
My discord (which has nobody in it yet) is on a different account, my twitter (the one which didn't get banned) has no relation to my pen name that I couldn't just write off.
I don't use any other social media and unless people can check my email address to see my accounts it doesn't matter, but at that point, fuck it.
I could always nuke my twitter account entirely and remake it under a different name, but do I really care? I have said things that would upset some people, but I'm not throwing out N-bombs like twitter is a third world country with oil.

>>21829932
This is the "I'd like to start working out, but I'm worried about getting too muscular" of writing.

>>21830196
Why are you writing an outline like this? An outline is for yourself. It could be a list of bullet points.

I wrote a chapter that thematically connected a character to another character and their anxieties about unrequired love and artistic expression turned out to complement one another really nicely even though I didn't plan on doing this.
My subconscious is smarter than my conscious mind and I'm starting to think maybe I should just take the discovery writing pill.

>scrolling trackpad to reread and edit over several weeks for 100k words
>wrist now hurts

>>21830676
Look up wrist stretches, they help a lot for me.

>>21830455
Fedbook bros. It’s over.

>>21830400
fair, thank you.
i'm been under the impression that starting a story without a plan leads to improvised garbage that isn't coherent and opens the story up to holes that you don't realize are there. is this true? will i really just figure it out as i go? it's kind of scary just diving into it and i don't want to write something that isn't written well. then again, i haven't written anything, ever, so my baseline for good writing comes from absorbing and not practicing (and i haven't actually, seriously read anything at all since high school or so and i can't remember the last time i genuinely finished a book)

>>21830637
originally this was intended to be a flashback of sorts but i hadn't fully developed the story and worldbuilding yet, so i took this opportunity to both make an outline for myself and do some thematic writing. i just need something for you guys to criticize since i haven't actually wrote much yet, and i'm very new to this storytelling stuff (i really enjoyed creative writing assignments in high school but never did anything past that)
captcha: TARDV

>>21830196
I get the feeling you've spent more time playing video/tabletop games than reading fiction.

>>21830880
it's good to have a general path and plan
so long as you have a theme/message/intent it's fine if you stumble around a bit
you're a shitter, you're gonna put out shitty work. that's fine. good even, because it'll put you heads and shoulders above the new writers who don't write
gl brah.

>>21830885
ding ding ding. i haven't finished a book in a long time, but i want to make a cool story.
>>21830928
>you're gonna put out shitty work
that makes me not want to use all of my cool ideas not knowing whether or not i'm gonna flop. kinda sucks having to sacrifice the stuff you want to make first

>>21830863
I wrote 80 or so chapters and I wasn't happy with it, so I went back and edited my story from chapter 1 to bring everything in line with where I found myself.
Start writing, as you put words on the screen you might find that you like a character or concept more or less than you realize.
For me I found that I liked writing about the sisters of the main character where as I intended his family to be side characters to pick him up when he falls originally.
I decided that the youngest sister, who is closest in age to him (he is adopted) should exists as a foil for him.
He is willing to do some evil shit if he believes the person he is doing it too isn't worthy of being called a human.
This stems from him being a human offshoot instead of a normal human and his interactions with things like vampires or intelligent magical creatures being far more positive as they judge him on who and not what he is.
He has a falling out with his living sword after making a murder look like a suicide to avoid upsetting his sister, who the day before watched him tear through a bandit camp without regard for human life, because to him, a person who falls to their base nature and just rapes and pillages because it makes them feel good is no better than a goblin.
If I never changed my story then I think it would read like any YA story on RR, instead I have made the tone darker and I try to write the characters as people instead of a list of traits I assigned to them before I started writing.
I went into the story already with ideas of free will and how some tropes like being basically kidnapped to get magical training because you are unique can actually be terrible for a person mentally and you don't just go from a person jumping at shadows to a functional human being with just a single pep talk.
I never really planned to get into how much can someone really justify evil things for the sake of others before they just become evil in the eyes of everyone else regardless of laws.
>>21830962
Write it poorly now and then once you feel more confident, write it again.

>>21829916
>>21829461
Thank you! I thought, what if Bukowski was a woman.

>>21830240
There is nothing pretentious in the poem

>>21830330
Thanks for the feedback. Why do you find it trash, exactly? Should I try to find something more interesting through which I could approach the topic? Because the words themselves cannot be more complex, it would no longer be Rupi-esque.

>>21830227
Good?
Thank you!
Anything else? ^^

>>21831027
kek

>>21831123
cute RRtard

Two of the three books I ordered for study came today. The one on the left contains more than 12,000 different words and phrases in use during the 18th and 19th centuries. :D I hide my pain behind smiley faces.

>>21831238
Lmao
Autistic, but i respect it

>>21831242
I intend to only focus on interesting or actually important shit by marking the page and then highlighting the specific term/phrase. I genuinely can't be bothered trying to commit both of these books (forget about the third) at least partially to memory. I want to write this idea I have in mind pretty badly, but I also don't think I need to hyperfocus on the extremely autistic subculture that is Naval and Maritime bullshit when it isn't even the main focus of the book.

I will write a story about two lost kids trying to survive in a weird fantasy land, there is no overarching grand evil and no world ending schemes
nobody will read it and I don't really care

I edited 7 pages today. So far, I'm 6 chapters into 4th draft. Feels good meng.

>>21829812
Be original and have them drop out.
There is no logical reason for someone that fights alien demons to keep studying.
Tell me more about those alien demons and the character's personalities.

Daniel Greene did so much better than you all.

>>21830244
Based.
Show me your work. Also, recommend me some good erotica to that start learning the craft

>>21831316
Nice, have you ever watched over the garden wall? It also has a pair of kids on wacky adventures as they try to find out how to leave the weird world.
>>21831340
I don't know who that is but you are a crab, faggot.

>>21831202
It's going to be my first time posting on Royal Road.
Wrote a quick 55k story to test the waters. Just editing it right now.

>>21831316
Jack's golden hair sparkled in the sun, he had rolled a natural 20 on his charisma check versus Jill and she was now powerless against his advances. Just as they were really getting into it the Karlings showed up.
"Jack, you know why we're here, West Frankia will always be Karling soil"
Jack drew his +5 vorpal katana sword and smirked.
No Karling was left alive that day, all the Karlings were dead which means this story fulfils the requirements given and West Frankia was saved. We will never know if the two kids ever had confusing step-sibling sex like in those movies I've never seen, probably.

>>21831720
Skill checks aren't subject to natural 20s.
If they were, you'd have a 1 in 20 chance of jumping to the moon.
Natural 20s are only used for combat and saving throws.
t. "forever" GM

>>21829468
Invasion.

>character has same name as an occupation or item or location
How do you avoid any misunderstandings? Simply put up with the headache and jokes whenever a word may be repeated?

>>21831866
proper nouns are capitalized
just don't bring up the thing that they're named after?
what context could you have created where this is unavoidable

>>21831123
write the whole thing and publish it
bet you won't tho

>>21830432
>>21831352
Your best bet to learn the craft is to read the good shit.
go to literotica, read a few of the all time high rated stories in your preferred kink. Identify what makes them loved, read some comments, don't take them too seriously.
Write a niche you like, but take a look at the market to see what the earning potential is. Some niches aren't really filled out with quality work.
for example my niche of mom/son porn is populated with men, who don't typically buy erotica. I have to market very differently than other erotica writers because I'm selling to dudes, not chicks.
Just be aware this is long haul type shit. I earned nothing month 1. Highest earnings I've heard about month 1 are like $80, and that was one person on reddit who did it all right.
Month 2 was $200. Month 3 was $100 because I went on vacation. Month 4 is $300, and if I keep up my posting schedule month 5 will likely be $600+. I'm hoping by month 6 I'm at $1000, and that by year's end I'm clearing $3000 a month, but in all likelihood I might level out around $2000 since the niche isn't like, humongus.

>>21831885
I did write the whole thing and I will publish it.
It will also be available on RR for free.

>>21831873
The MC's name is Blade, okay?

>>21831940
just be a sperg and have him use a katana or some other sword with a name people click with

How the fuck does he keep doing it?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dprDSZj_ZQA

>>21831956
Good for him. Time to get typing.

>>21831866
>>21831940
Just use synonyms in place of it, or make sure it's clear you're referring to an object and not the main character by using possessive pronouns.

>>21831956
Yea looks based. The plot description sounds like it’s literally about a jewish conspiracy theory. /pol/‘s gonna freak if Gardner’s book goes in the direction I suspect it probably does. This cover looks almost like fucking satire. All he did was flip the cover of CotC upside down. Still extremely based and retarded

>>21831238
>tfw historical writer and this is the kind of shit i have to read
i feel it, bro. ships are so fucking complicated

>was going to write final chapter today
>took walk to think about it
>figure out how to write it, ready to go
>get home, feeling great
>spend 4 hours reading erotic stories, take a 2 hour bath, read another erotic story, and then masturbate
i want to kill myself

>>21831980
I’m ordering this. This seems insane.

>>21831238
>>21831987
I read Two Years Before the Mast, a non-fiction travelougue, and it had very little nautical babble
Historical fiction writers perpetuate and deserve their suffering
Unless you guys are writing essays or articles or something of that sort, in which case my condolences, I'm sorry for your loss or whatever

>>21831940
How do you intend to avoid confusion with a much more famous character with the same name?

>>21832031
He's Irish(white)

>>21831997
>Historical fiction writers perpetuate and deserve their suffering
I mean, yes, but it gets my autistic cock hard to see a novel where they detail out some obscure historical sperging with fluent accuracy. you don't get it, bro. The autism is in control here.

>>21831980
>"The dream I had was scary!" the Jewish man says, while thinking about the dream he had.
>The man's name was Lipman. He was a Jewish man.
That's as far as I made it before quitting in frustration...once again, a page and a half.
That seems to be the norm when I try to read his crap.
He literally forgets what he was writing by the end of the sentence.
Goldfish have better memories than this.
Give it up, Frank. You'll always be a developmentally-disabled alcoholic. Nothing you can do will disguise that.

>>21831980
Holy. Fucking. Shit.

>>21829239
AI is not going to replace creative writing or even most of the technical stuff. There was a whole period during the mid to late 2010s where shitty e-marketers flooded KDP and other outlets with pure shit written by Indians that was probably still better than what AI will produce. Those books made it harder to cut through the noise but it's still possible to make money on those platforms as a self-published author.

>>21832119
How is this not incredibly anti-Semitic?
I wonder how long before Amazon removes it & bans him from their service.
The "report inappropriate content" link on the book's page is gonna get seriously spammed.

>>21829239
>AI-tards
If you can be replaced by an AI then you were never going to make it anyway.

>>21832161
i see all types of these scammers and it's truly a wonder why they don't just get a job and earn an honest living. Fucking india and china each have over a billion people and no prospects to support them, but every shitty no-body nothing family thinks they're some royal lineage and they must at all costs keep shitting out children to carry the "family name" of which 50 million other people already have, regardless of the quality of life those kids will ever get. then the west gets plagued in desperate poor brown people running scams and shitting the internet and phonelines up. Just last week I had some retarded indian bitch try to run a phonescam on me by pretending to be from US Customs. truly they're a bunch of soulless reprobates. had they any sense of shame they'd go earn an honest living as a rice farmer and live in peace. Surely the detriment to US citizens' quality of life from being overrun by these cockroaches is enough casus belli to stamp an order for war. Imagine New Delhi glassed into a parking lot pressed with the corpses of 100 million pajeet scam artists and diploma mill students aiming for an H1B.

I've rewritten it a bunch and I think this is how I'm going to open the book. It still reads rather badly, but I have managed to make him less outwardly crazy, I *think*. I don't think the audience will see him as not crazy, though.

https://pastebin.com/G0GxLMmV

Overall, I think I might just do what the anon said and ignore some of the criticism I receive. It's not really worth writing out thousands of words just to delete and start again because people won't read it. That being said, I've not a single clue on where to start building an audience, which is supposedly a prereq to even releasing a book.

>>21832333
>That being said, I've not a single clue on where to start building an audience, which is supposedly a prereq to even releasing a book.
Not if you have something really good a publisher will pick up. Or at least something that hits the right markets.

>>21832333
>Overall, I think I might just do what the anon said and ignore some of the criticism I receive. It's not really worth writing out thousands of words just to delete and start again because people won't read it.
I'm not even going to bother posting my shit until I have an entire story drafted
I don't want to get bogged down in the editing process right now

>>21832346
I dunno if I'm good enough for that, anon. I've read good books and my prose is just not that great. It's... serviceable, sure, but not great. I think trying to get an audience before self-publishing would be my best bet.

>>21832369
Honestly? Probably for the best. Editing should probably only be done with complete works. I'm just damn insecure about my writing.

Writers tend to want feedback (reassurance?) early into a project and end up posting unedited crap and letting others read it.
I use to do that too.
It's much better to just ignore that over eager side of yourself, finish your ruff draft, finish your first draft, give it a couple rounds of editing and then look for feedback.

Unless you have someone super cool who is willing to be your wall to bounce things off of through the whole process. You're unlikely to find that on an anonymous board.

>>21832119
I can’t believe F Gardner really named his new book Kabbalah of the Crocodile. What a fucking legend.

>>21832472
Give me your keys, F. Gardner, you're drunk.

>>21832405
Unfortunately, I'd say you're spot on.

>>21832488
Spot on about the complete work or the quality of my writing? I mean, I'm not horrible, at the very least. I hope.

>>21832472
big fan f
(but i will never read one of your books)

>>21832119
the fuck did I just read

>>21828837
Lolita. the BAZOOPER of my fletch toss, the lightsaber of my death star, the WAZOOWA of my NO-NO- S, standing four bazooy zooeys in one sock.

How many characters are too many when working with an ensemble cast?

>>21832517
the editing a complete work. Your writing is not shit, sorry for making it sound that way. I think ultimately editing is probably a waste of time if the draft isn't done yet, since it'll just bog you down further. Write and move on, edit when you're done and all the lessons are learned.

>Click the read free preview portion for Kabbalah of the Crocodile
>Wonder what the fuss here is about

I am utterly speechless. Only a matter of pages in and it already reeks of pure anti-semitism. F Gardner is actually a maniac. Who on earth would even think to write a book like this?

>>21832535
>>21832610
It really seems like a suicide note.
This "book" is likely to get removed from Amazon for racism, and the rest of his brain-droppings might go with it.

>appendices are at 35K words and still growing

I think my book has gotten a bit out of hand.

What are the most important things to keep in mind when writing third person limited?

>>21832653
>GPT
When writing in third person limited point of view, there are several important things to keep in mind to ensure your writing is effective and engaging. Here are some key points to consider:

Focus on one character: Third person limited POV means you are telling the story from the perspective of one character, so it's important to choose the right character to focus on. This character should be central to the story and have a clear goal or motivation that drives the plot.

Stick to one perspective: Unlike third person omniscient, which allows you to jump between multiple character perspectives, third person limited POV requires you to stay within the mind of your chosen character. Avoid switching between characters' thoughts and feelings within a scene.

Use descriptive language: Since you're limited to one character's perspective, it's important to use descriptive language to convey what's happening outside of their immediate experience. Use sensory details to create a vivid sense of the world around them.

Show, don't tell: Instead of telling readers what the character is thinking or feeling, show it through their actions, dialogue, and internal thoughts. This will help readers connect with the character and immerse themselves in the story.

Be consistent: Once you've chosen your point of view character, stick with them throughout the story. Avoid jumping to other characters' perspectives or using information that your POV character wouldn't know.

Use transitions: Use transitions and clear signals to indicate when you're shifting between scenes or chapters. This can help readers follow the story and understand any shifts in perspective.

By keeping these tips in mind, you can write a compelling story in third person limited POV that engages readers and brings your characters to life.

>>21832610
I mean, have you seen F Gardner’s youtube channel? It looks like untreated schizophrenia.

I can't stop fucking laughing. This shit is hilarious. Only because I can tell it wasn't meant to be.

>>21832653
I love smoking anime girls

>>21832701
fucking hell, if this guy can make it so can I

What's a good onomatopoeia for disembowlment?
Specifically by a very fast moving sword

>>21832810
swersh

>>21832810
splort

Can anyone else relate to this? Got any advice or insights?

I used to write creatively a lot. I posted short stories on a blog, hoping I'd make a living writing. I found a more direct route to achieving some of my values (helping better the world) and my creative writing really diminished.

I still write essays and stuff, but I've been really inconsistent. I gave it some thought today and realized that I'm not having fun like I used to with my writing. But also, those fun ideas just aren't coming to me.

Ultimately, I want to be more consistent with my essays, and I think getting back into creative writing will help.

>>21832810
When dealing with a fast and sharp blade often it doesn't make a sound at all.
You can see this with people who take off a finger and it takes them 5 or 10 seconds to notice it.
You could have the person not realize what has happened immediately and so they end up slipping on their organs with a splat.
But of the two suggestions from other anons I would say swersh.
Splort sounds silly to me, but if your tone isn't that dark i.e you are writing some dark comedy, then it can work.
>>21832823
I stopped writing for about 4 months, everything just read like crap to me and so I brainstormed.
I would say seek out media that causes a strong emotional reaction.
For me when I want to feel sad I look at the stories from the game Lost Odyssey called A Thousand Years of Dreams.
For disgust, though I didn't go into it for that reason, I read Usogi Drop.
If you know what the story is, then you understand my reaction, if not, then consider reading it as a masterclass of ruining a story by making it go beyond what should've been an end point.
I also started drinking, not heavily mind you, but with friends.
It loosened me up and made me more accepting of the ideas that I thought were shit and so I wrote them, realized that they were shit, and took a different path.

haha just found another huge plot hole

>>21832840
>You can see this with people who take off a finger and it takes them 5 or 10 seconds to notice it.
reminds me of that webm of a pitbull fighting a boar, fucker takes horn to the belly and doesn't realize his guts are dragging below him in the dirt for several seconds

>>21832840
>I stopped writing for about 4 months
stop it stop it get out of my head get out of my life
AAAAAAA WHY AM I SO IMPOTENT I JUST WANT IT TO FEEL NATURAL AGAIN

>>21832810
Shlerk
Shplop shlerp plop

>>21829812
Why are you writing such boring shit should be your first question? Oh, teenagers who save the world by fighting big evil guy? Evangelion, power rangers, pacific rim, Enders game, Harry Potter, stranger things, gravity falls, Captain Planet, scooby doo, powerpuff girls, avatar, bill and Mandy, E.T., Goonies, karate kid. So original! As our former president would say: Sad!

>>21832901
Embarrassing post

>>21832701
I kneel at his imagination

>>21832911
Sorry man, no amount of wacky spin that you put on it can change the fact that it’s been done a thousand times before likely better. Inb4 >all plots are derivative of others. Sure, but in generative and creative ways. If you just write Evangelion again who’s going to care? It has to actually mean something

>>21830010
Since it didn't get much of a response I'll try bumping it.
I'm looking for general feedback, criticism, impressions, etc... Does this prologue make you interested in reading the first chapter?

litRPG is not my usual genre, but I wanted to try my hand at it as it seems quite popular right now. I did enjoy writing it, and it was a fun project for me. Right now I'd just really like some feedback on what the readers first impression might be.

I'm working on editing the rest of the story now and hopefully will start posting it in the next 2-3 weeks.

>>21832715
i bet their breathe stinks

i was so sharp, in-tuned and opinionated like 2 months ago. now i'm dead inside
how's /wg/ been?

>>21833274
I've got a job interview tomorrow. Work takes away precious time from reading or writing but it pays money. Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

>>21833281
me 2, not tomorrow but its on the horizon. was laid off after ~7 years

>>21833274
>>21833281
>>21833290
We being depressed in here?
I'm finally somewhere that I feel happy but it's untenable because I can't afford my current lifestyle and the credit cards keep piling up and its only a matter of time before I lose it all.
Hopefully something changes in the next year or 2 because things are pretty sweet until that happens.
I just have to ignore those looming thoughts of existential dread and enjoy it while it lasts.

>>21830010
>>21832978
As an avid RR reader that currently follows 10+ stories this prologue does not interest me and here's why:
Virtual reality
>Its the lazy mans version of a dream sequence where its all just make believe ones and zeroes that have little to no impact on the 'real world' and when it does its so facile and once dimensional that it wrecks whatever story the writer tries to concoct.
Question and response dialogue
>When used well i can evoke powerful feelings in a reader but here? here it just makes the character feel like an edge lord.
Too short for a prologue.
>It should be at least 1.5k words, as it is now it feels more like a blurb.

I mean at least ts in legible English and has a clear narrative so your already doing better then like 75% of the authors on the site. So that's a thing?

>>21832978
No, not interested. Was turned off the moment it was fate of the world stuff. Personal taste. I can't relate to conflict of that degree. Because it already seems so high stakes, going up just means more levels of ridiculousness. I get that there's a rest button that'll be pushed, but it's going to end up going down that direction anyway, isn't it?

Prose is good. Quite a bit of telling and not showing. Style of writing is good; your voice comes through well. I wonder if there isn't a better scene (or scenes) to use for the prologue to get your point across.

>>21833358
>>21833365
Thanks for the feedback. That's all very helpful.

>Its the lazy mans version of a dream sequence where its all just make believe ones and zeroes that have little to no impact on the 'real world' and when it does its so facile and once dimensional that it wrecks whatever story the writer tries to concoct.
I think the way I end up handling it avoids those problems but I see where you are coming from.

>your already doing better then like 75% of the authors on the site.
only 75%? guess it does need some work, then.

>Quite a bit of telling and not showing.
Thanks, I'll keep an eye out for that the next time I go through it.

>>21832978
Well-written, but it doesn't make me want to read more. For one thing, it's too sad- I can relate a little too much to it- and for another, it's got an ending already, basically- there's nothing unresolved.
I wouldn't stop reading because of it though. And I'm not a litRPG or isekai connoisseur.

>>21833358
>Too short for a prologue.
I also disagree with this. Maybe it's not how most would do it, but on a list of reasons someone decides not to read a book I think having a prologue that's too short comes in quite low.

>>21833453
>For one thing, it's too sad- I can relate a little too much to it
I take that as a positive, but I'm a little screwed up, so

> it's got an ending already, basically- there's nothing unresolved.
I see what you mean there, but I think chapter 1 fixes that problem quite quickly.

Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it.

>>21830676
Jeez how fat are you

>>21828837
Nobody read aspiring authors, you should make a manga instead

I wrote 4000 words in one day when usually I struggle to reach 2000
My speed is pretty garbage so I've been trying to push myself

>>21833491
Manga illustrators should read aspiring authors.

>>21828837
plane in the woods
NA NA NA NA
plane 's in the wooods
NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA
waitin for the wind
NA NA NA NA
BUT THERE AIN'T NO WIND
NA NA NA NA
plane 's in the woods
NA NA NA NA
nothins in the woods
NA NA NA NA

any critiques? poem heavily inspired by OP pic

Please open this general up for fanfiction by explicitly including them in the OP.

>>21833705
So which anime series are you obsessed with, anon?

>>21828967
Microsoft Office

>>21833736
Shingeki no Kyojin
ponies

somebody is rifling through their pockets
how do I avoid writing the word "pocket" a dozen times in a single paragraph

>>21828843
This is very ordered and clean but a little dead I feel. Then again the only 20th century poet I like is John Betjeman.

It's just not for me and I should recognize it. Good work regardless.

I finished the story I was whining about a few threads ago after some encouragement from anons: https://pastebin.com/KMreNYuk

Notes for the second draft would be appreciated. I'm planning on posting it to scribophile as well, but I need some credits first.

>>21833303
I went all in with writing after my previous work contract ended and managed to survive 4 years on savings and random gigs. Wrote four books and rough drafts for 3 more, and a bunch of short stories, and all in all had a blast.

But now the money's almost spent. I thought I'd be able to turn my writing profitable in that time, but couldn't make more than $50/month on patreon and about $200 in total off book sales. Doesn't help that I exhausted my hands last year writing too much and couldn't do anything for months. I should try to find a real job asap, but there's fuckall I can do and no real motivation to even try.

Guess this is the end of the road for me. Not every story can have a happy ending, but I have no regrets. At least I got to do what I loved, for a little while. Hope anon has better luck.

Where should I post my lightnovel?
Im considering royal road.

My story features a loli protag though and although there is nothing sexual about it there are 2 scenes in which she almost gets sexually assaulted and one is in the first chapter so I kind of fear that they will reject it.

Also general other ideas for places to post? Theres so much fantasy there, although I believe in my story, I dont think people will give it a chance compared to the more established writers stories and their more established promotions

>>21834251
Please no

>>21834233
>Doesn't help that I exhausted my hands last year writing too much and couldn't do anything for months.
Were you writing by hand or something? This is my great fear as well, but I figure as long as you take ample breaks between sessions, carpel tunnel shouldn't set in

>>21834251
RR sounds idea for that DESU.

>>21834265
No, keyboard. To be fair, it was a mix of multiple issues. My hands were already fucked up from work and then I went on to mash out 5k words per day for 2 years without ever really resting. Stay sane, take days off, stretch, and do some relaxing sport that has your arms move in more natural ways and keeps blood flowing, you should be fine.

>>21834260
why no?
>>21834273
maybe, but what else is there?

>>21834251
backload the sexual assault and you'll be fine

>>21834287
wrist exercises and ergonomics and you should be fine
t. terminally online zoomer/millenial

>>21833939
If the scene is kind of silly, you could talk about them digging around in their pants.
If it isn't silly, though, I would just refer to it as "it" or "there"

>>21832810
just go with the classic
snicker-snack

>>21834292
Scribblehub. They have no rules for content and loli rape is right up their alley.

>>21833939
why would you keep mentioning the pocket? the purpose of rilfing through your pockets it to find something. presumably you'll have a list of things they're finding, not repeated phrases of "and in my pocket I found" and "the next thing in my pocket was" and "my pockets are filled with so many things!"

>>21834368
good question. seems easy as "he rifled through his pocket"
>>21833939
post excerpt

>>21834355
Thanks, they are more lenient than RR, I'll give it a go.
>Rules regarding sexual content
>no positive portrayal of illegal sexual acts, all stories must abide the age of consent

Its alright then, my story only glorifies murder, suicide and self harm. The molestation is in a negative light and she's of legal agebut she clearly looks 12


Not looking forward to reviews by others writers however. Im experienced as a drawfag and the worst audience you can have are other artists.

>>21833664
"Planes could be here" I thought to myself contemplatively with large hand movements signifying this. I was a woodsman, a man in the woods and I heard about planes in woods from my sources. The wind kept out of the woods, it was afraid of wolves.

>>21833664
made me kek, you are silly anon

>>21834368
>>21834376
consider
>I rifled through my pockets.
>in my back pocket I found a pocket dictionary that somebody must have slipped in.
>I placed it back into the back pocket where I found it.

>>21834233
post excerpt or link?

What is considered edgy writing? is it the overuse of violence or just specific writing like using alot of swears and other vulgar words etc.

>>21834292
Other than Scribblehub, there's Wattpad (lousy discovery), Smashwords (very "erotic"), and AO3 (lots of deviant sex, but I think it's limited to fanfiction).
There should be other suggestions in the HOWTO pastebin in OP.

>>21833964
Thank you for giving it a chance anyway. I feel too much online work, be it prose, poetry, or even video, feels unfinished, so i do my best to polish things up as much as possible. The joy of poetry is partly in it's construction, and one shouldn't skimp on that.

I think we are gonna have to disagree on John Betjeman though.

>>21834454
>I rifled through my pockets, finding and pulling out a handheld dictionary.
>I returned it to the pocket from whence it came.
don't break every action into a new sentence
if it's important that it's specifically the back pocket just say ass pocket or something. you can also use a dash to make it feel like one word
>back-pocket
just use different words?
this feels cut and dry to me, I don't see the problem

>>21834463
I don't think linking my work after outing myself as a total loser would be good marketing.

>>21834468
edginess is when you attempt to do something mature, but you fail and reveal that you're actually just a manchild. There's no strict formula for something being edgy or not, you kind of just know it when you see it.

>>21834504
mmm, not convinced
your edit removes all the important details and still repeats pocket twice

>>21834468
I've been called "edgy" for years.
But I don't write, or act like "Howl" or "Naked Lunch" or any of that crap.
I just tell the stone-cold, brutal truth.
Most people prefer to delude themselves into false happiness, and the truth makes them squeamish.
But I won't go along to get along.

>>21834233
>>21834523
OTOH, unless I miss the point of your post, you're going to anhero anyway, right?
So why not post links?

>>21834549
some repitition is fine
if it's the opening and closing line of the paragraph who cares, don't overthink that stuff. readers don't notice
I cut
>somebody must have slipped in
because it's bad writing. if it's important do something like
>an unfamiliar dictionary
or if you're insistent on insisting
>a dictionary that I hadn't left there
being vague about it while simultaneously flat out saying someone else put it there feels clumsy

if a detail is important, leave it. point is phrasing to not be overly repetitive is easy

>>21834549
Here's mine:

>I rifled through my trousers. In the back pocket was a small dictionary which I promptly put back.

>>21834572
eh
>>21834576
ah, ok, using "pants" as a metonymy for pocket works. Thanks, that's what I was looking for.

>>21834233
honestly i get 90% of my writing done while between contract jobs. usually it's 2-3 months each time. i can write an entire novel in that space.

sorry man you fucked up. write for love, not money.

>>21834605
I wrote while I was working too, but the result was only awkward shit full of dumb mistakes, because I was constantly too tired after work to focus or think things through. And then I'd fuck up at work too, because all I could think about was what I wanted to write. Shit sucked

>>21834454
from a story perspective this series of actions is pointless
>oh but the pocket dictionary contains a clue that later on will reveal the murderer
fine. in that case spend a little more time with your mc wondering about why the book is there, maybe glancing through it, and then after a paragraph - or more - return the book to his pocket.

>>21834685
pulling out a dictionary you don't recognize and then immediately putting it back seems like kino symbolism, but considering he writes at a grade school level I assume that's not the point

>>21834680
iktf. i had a mental breakdown at an exhausting in office job because it left me too tired after work to write. it's no life. i dont have that issue with remote jobs, though. i think it's from being trapped in an uncomfortable office all day as an introvert. by the end of the day i was ready to sudoku.

Has anyone read the new Gardner book yet?

>Weak emphasis could indicate European.
What did they mean by this

>>21834770
forced meme writer

what do you guys think about magical girls?

>>21834776
lmao
what the fuck is this

>>21834798
prime rape bait or dystopia fodder
having little girls be the sacrificial warriors is a prime example of inversion

>>21832978
It's way too dramatic. The reader's have no emotional investment in the story, but you're giving a climactic scene that should be at the end of a movie. Why should they care about a guy who they don't know and who's about to die and will never show up again?
If the only point is that you want to have humanity uploaded into a vr, reveal that in the real story.

>>21834798
I like magical girls in non-magical girl stories. Putting them in dire situations so they can overcome them with the power of friendship or whatever is kino, but I also just in general like the idea of quirky, unconventional heroes saving the day.

Why can I only write after a few drinks? I now understand why a lot of the classic authors were alcoholics.

>>21834798
I wrote a book trilogy about magical girls once, but it had no readers. I think trying to sell the concept to western audiences is not worth the effort. Not even most weebs will take it.

>>21834849
You would have thought after the first book failed you knew to stop.

>>21834849
mind if i look at your trilogy? i want to do something different than inverting the genre or completely playing into it

>>21834798
I love the concept, but I don't like the execution in most cases.
Maybe I just like the idea of cute heroines, because most magical girl media is either children cartoon shit or edgy uninteresting tripe. Madoka was ok but Im not crazy about it, Pretty Cure is boring, Card Captor Sakura and Sailor Moon are also very boring to me.. but there's something about the concept and the aesthetics that keeps me wanting magical girl shows with some dramatic spin.
I tried writing stuff like that a couple of times, but it just feels weird. I don't like friendship themes or yuri and I end up writing something weird that is neither here nor there.

>>21834849
Post your work bro. I want some quality non-japanese magical girl stuff

>>21834685
that's not my prose lmao, I was just presenting a series of actions and asking how you guys would write them to avoid repeating the word pocket

>>21834849
How about magical boys?

>>21834892
Strike Witches was fun.

>>21834376
>post excerpt
>I hid in a pocket of shadow under the prison walls as the blazing searchlight swept past. On the battlements above, behind coiled razorwire, the silhouettes of guards marched against the dimming sky. I needed to consult the secret map I had pocketed off the desk of the commandant last night. Hastily emptying my pockets, I found a pocket knife, a handkerchief, some pocket money and loose change, a pocket pistol loaded in .32 acp, a spare magazine, a pack of cigarettes, a hockey puck, several trading cards from the game Pocket Monsters, sexual lubricant, and a slightly worn pocket pussy. But no map! Just a pocketful of disappointment. I checked my pocket watch and found it was twenty minutes until the scheduled prisoner exchange. Time was running out. Then it occurred to me in a flash: the greasy Roma boy with pockmarked face who had bumped into me on the train platform, he must have been a pick pocket. The nasty little Gypsy had stolen my map.

Please advise

>>21834952
Get rid of pocket (noun)
Hand sized, coins, pokemon cards, etc. At this point you're just doing it on purpose and this leave it

>>21830010
>my isekai litRPG

>>21834952
kek

>>21834882
I wrote it for fun and didn't really give a damn if anyone read it. Or, so I thought, but it was still pretty demoralizing when no one did.

>>21834888
>>21834892
It's not currently available anywhere. I was still pretty inexperienced when I wrote the first part and it was based on a lot of clumsy infodumping. Maybe part of why it didn't catch fire. I want to rewrite it in a more dynamic "show, don't tell"-style before sharing it again. But I'll let you guys know if that happens.

>>21834987
Just show it to me bro. Im not going to make fun of you, I won't even give you feedback or anything (if you don't want to), I just want to read magical girl stuff.

I was writing a Madoka romance fanfiction with a self insert MC that is still available on fanfiction.net and other sites. I was also writing an edgy Madoka fanfiction were the girls kill yakuza gangsters and take on the government, and a magical girl story set in Mexico.

At least post the first chapter or something, or give me some lit recs for writing better magical girl style stories

>>21833290
Me as well. I've been unemployed for over two months now. In that time I read over my first draft, carefully polished the first chapter so friends could look at it, and got unnerved by the feedback. I've been kind of languishing since then and think working again might help to settle my mind and give me time away from the computer. Funny how having a bunch of free time doesn't always make you more productive.

>>21834816
>prime rape bait
Fucking unsavory ape. Why are you like this?

>>21835022
Not that anon but I wrote 2 popular Madoka fics a while ago.

>>21834979
Mine is special though.

>>21835064
Show me yours and I'll show you mine ;)

>>21834827
To set a tone of existential dread. (I hope)
I kept it short because it is rather disconnected from the main characters.

>>21835072
Most popular one was Test Subject One
Fair warning it got abandoned in the middle of a bunch of stuff with no resolution.

>>21835075
He's toasting God. How is that dread?

Just finished this. It wasnt what I expected of a channoid novel. Too sincere. Does he frequent these threads? I have questions.

>>21835116
I feel like that's self explanatory if you read it. If you didn't even get that then the rest of your criticism fails to hold weight to me.
Who knows, maybe I'm wrong though. I'm sure I'll touch it up more before it's finished, someone else mentioned it was too telly which I need to correct.

Do you think it's too corny to have the protagonist literally kill a serpent/dragon with a sword to save his captured Love Interest?

I assure you, it wasn't planned that way. The serpent was supposed to be defeated at the end, but then I realized that I have no need to go for the Shonenesque beats of increasingly stronger enemies showing up to fight the hero.

>>21835061
me? no. why do you insist on having little girls fight corruption and tentacle monsters?

>>21835129
I tried to read it, but with my own health issues the descriptions of a man who turns to a shell of himself, drugs turning him into a living dead man, the spasms and trouble sleeping.
Well, I broke down in tears more than once and I was, and still am, in no place for something that hits on such a personal level.

>>21834233
What kind of marketing did you do? Are you writing genre fiction or literary? Also, getting to $50 on patreon isn't that bad. Is that just from you begging your readers or did you provide something there? Maybe you could lean into whatever it is you are doing to get those subs to stick around.

>>21828837
A haiku
>They say "learn to code"
>I really hate programming
>But out of options

>>21835102
Mine was simply called In Love with a Magical Girl.
It's shit. 3 chapters long before I decided I hit writer's block, got fed up with the premise and got defeated by a sense of absurdity. Posted it here for feedback a couple of times.

>>21830010
I liked it. I would read a whole book about the guys left behind in a dying world, in charge of keeping the virtual one alive. That sounds like a really interesting premise.
But it's going to be a litRPG thing. I don't know what to expect. If you keep up this forlorn, hopeless feel throughout the story that'd be great, if it's going to be Isekai anime shit then that's a shame.

>>21834333
It's a human not a jabberwocky
In the end I went with splurch

Will readers typically pick up on a character using big words incorrectly to sound smart, as opposed to thinking its me, the author, using them incorrectly?
I have a one-off character who does this a couple of times just to establish that he's a prick, but he does it in conversation with my MC who's too stupid to realize he's using the words wrong, so he can't correct him. I'm wondering if I should just scrap this characterization.

>>21835478
just have a line from another character
"what are you talking about?"
then have the first character give an explanation, then the 2nd character just believe what the first character said.

So it covers your ass and develops both characters

>>21834523
I get where you're coming from. But know that most self pubbed writers don't make any money. Most published writers don't earn out their advance. It's a lot like the music scene

>>21835219
It's just as well...the last thing I need is another barely-functional co-worker.

>>21835453
It's Isekai anime shit. You'll never see the guy in the prologue again.
Sorry to disappoint you.
It's actually okay though, because you don't need the real world. The Isekai world is going to be way more interesting. Whatever preconceptions you may have, I promise to defy them.
Believe in me.

>>21835658
NTA but... oof. That would turn me off from the book entirely. Like it's one thing to be reborn into another world, it's another to know as a reader from the outset that the entire storyline is fake.
Not to discourage you, mind. I'm not the target audience anyway.

>>21835684
Na, it'll work.
The progression elements are there and it'll be fun for readers who like that stuff though I'm sure it'll be a barrier to those who won't give it a chance (which is fine) but there is synergy in the different elements of the storys in a way which I believe has not been done yet. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. I'll just wait until I'm ready to post it and let people judge for themselves.
I've gotten some good feedback on the prologue which is what I was looking for, so that's cool.

I'm writing a murder-mystery story. The killer is introduced early on in the story (as is necessary in mystery fiction), but every single time I write a scene with the killer in it, I feel like I'm practically giving it away that that character is the culprit. I have a feeling most people will have figured it out less than halfway through.

>>21835759
Solve the problem the way it's been done thousands of times already.
Introduce a red hearing.
Sometimes having 2 possibilities instead of just 1 is all the variation needed to avoid being predictable.
You can get more complicated than that, of course, depending on what you're doing with it.
You're problem is likely that there simply are not enough angles to your story.

>>21835824
Red herring****

>>21835824
>>21835826
There are a few red herrings. But the way I've written the story kinda goes against what I had originally planned. My original idea was for there to be several red herrings that make the reader think the killer could be one of a few characters. In the end, a totally different character turns out to be the culprit. Unfortunately, in order to fill up some plot holes, I had to make the culprit do some things that definitely seem suspicious while reading. Even if the reader doesn't completely figure it out, it's not gonna be very surprising when they get to the reveal, because that character will have already seemed suspicious.

>>21835840
So make the other characters do suspicious things

>write book
>edit it over and over and over
>too scared to release it on royal road
>edit it some more
>eternal editing
>probably made it worse
>never will release it now
How do you get over the fear of releasing it, moles and all?

>>21836161
Just fucking do it, faggot.

>>21836161
any book, no matter how poorly written, is better than no book at all.

>>21836175
>>21836179
No you don't get it. It's nerve wracking and if it fails, so will my dreams of ever being an author. Your first book is the only book that matters.

For two weeks Enid endured captivity in the dark bowels of Rolevous castle, but always was preciously close to the outside world. The jailer had ceased his habit of startling her awake, and now every morn she awoke to the distant birdsong of woodlarks in the trees and on the parapets, and by-and-by she’d look out the window and spot them chasing each other in flocks, dancing and playing and scattering along the air. Sometimes she’d lose herself to watching them sail and twirl, and would look on longingly for hours at a time before finding herself again; and whenever they disappeared from view of the window, for however brief or long, it always made her dream for sight of them again.

It seemed to her that her eyes were dimming from sorrow, and with each passing day in the darkness the light from the window grew in brightness and luster until it was nearly blinding to look upon. And all the while she was ravaged with pain, and she knew—even though she couldn’t see them—that her wounds would never truly heal, but instead would turn into ugly scars.

>>21836161
i have so much editing anxiety. i go through and double check every word i'm even somewhat concerned about the proper usage for in an online dictionary, even words i use in my day to day life that i've used since i was ten.

if i published a mistake i would harakiri out of shame

>>21836242
>Your first book is the only book that matters
No, you're just retarded and obsessing

>>21835478
Depends on how egregarious it is.

>>21836161
I'm going to tell you something that is simultaneously depressing and reassuring. How is it possible for something to be both depressing and reassuring? The answer is because of the "artist swing." Every creative person, whether they're a writer, a poet, a painter, goes through radical swings in mood where they alternate between thinking they're the best in the world, or feeling like total worthless pieces of shit. There is no in-between--you'll always feel like either the best or the worst, when in reality you're probably somewhere in the middle.

The good news is that you're not nearly as bad as you think you are, but you're also not nearly as good as you think you are. And the fact of the matter is, unless you're Stephen King or JK Rowling, you're irrelevant. You don't have a "reputation" that hinges on a first book being flawless. Odds are few people will read your first book.

But the good news is that you can pump out a couple of sub-par early works to practice and hone your craft, and eventually write something good. Most well-renowned writers didn't have great first books.

Plus.. if you start to build an audience after a few years, and your writing improves, and you still feel embarrassed about your first book or whatever, you can always go back and delete your old books and chuck them in the memory hole. I'm telling you, you're giving yourself way too much credit here. For better or worse, no one really cares.

Fuck it, im rushing this ending because im bored of thinking about this story

>>21836311
>I'm telling you, you're giving yourself way too much credit here.
too much credit? I think it's going to be absolute shit. And I don't want any readers to the book automatically deem it complete shit! Look what happened to Gardner. After cotc there are tons of people swearing off another book

>>21836407
Honestly anon, the fact that you are so self centered as to think you have any right to write a book while you clearly have no talent for it means you are a stain on this world and should probably just kill yourself.
I think mean, honestly.
How dare you.

>>21836407
shame that there's no process through which people can improve their skills at things
should've been born perfect retard

>>21836161
>decide to get into writing
>write 10k words of off the cuff garbage
>it's total shit and barely comprehensible
>get 100 followers in 3 weeks
just post it dork, nobody holds you to any standards

>>21836407
If everyone hates it, just change your pen name.

>>21832333
Jack. You start a lot of paragraphs with Jack.

>>21836323
That's what Stephen King did in "The Stand".
So much setting up of dramatic tension, then he blows it completely at the end because he got tired of writing.
I never read any of his works ever again.
Don't do it, anon. Don't leave your reader feeling cheated.

>>21836650
Thank you for noticing that, anon! I appreciate your feedback.

This son of a bitch.
https://youtu.be/dprDSZj_ZQA

>>21836858
Lol he paid to advertise that on /lit/

>>21836656
I'm so tired bwro... i want to write other things...

>>21836873
Is there a reason you have to finish it now?
Just set it aside until you feel like writing a proper ending.

>>21836881
I have the same problem as that other anon with editing. I sit and edit and edit waiting for perfection though It's not as severe. I'm on the last section of my royalroad story and i want to get it out of the way so i can move onto something else that i will self publish on Amazon. Generally being bogged down with multiple stories and projects isn't a favorable position for me

>>21836895
Me, I can't help that.
I never seem to come up with all the ideas I need to complete a work.
I get tired of outlining after a while & try to "discover write" incomplete portions, but end up bogging down anyway.
So I guess we have the opposite problem.

We have all seen the glory of the banning of the Frank
We read the "Look Inside" part and decided that it stank
He has burned all of his bridges and has cobwebs in the bank
New thread >>21836961 is open now...

>>21834931
That's just power rangers

>cant think of a good catchy title
It's over..

Well, the ideas aren't coming to me like when I first started creative writing (a dozen years ago), but this I'm working on my third short story in about two years. I like it so far.

>>21837175
Describe it to ChatGPT and see what titles it can come up with, see if it works

>>21836161
>>21836242
Most people posting on RR don't edit AT ALL. Your story will probably still do worse than them and you'll feel very stupid for putting in so much effort.

How long does the Scribblehub reviewprocess take?
RR says its being reviewed and take up to 48 hours
Scribblehub doesnt tell me anything

My story is about a young man who travels back in time to nazi germany to dab on the Kennedy family, but to his shock he finds out that the dab was in the process of being invented by an ancient budhist monk sect in occupied china