/lit/ - Literature

when’s F Gardner coming back?

>>21811035
F Gardner hasn't uploaded for months but I think he's probably going to call out The Jews. He's been hinting at it regarding his conspiracy theory videos.

I wrote a short story about a workaholic, over achieving, business consultant going out for a drink at a bar.

Its the first thing I have ever finished so I am really interest in getting feedback:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WCSU7Nqg48b5WHNAkrC1iN6_BB49vrRDsF-bnK6xKqk/edit?usp=sharing

>>21811045
>Trying to portray F Gardner as antisemetic

Gardner likes everyone. He's literaly a Buddhist.

As always, it is fucking incredible how polarizing F Gardner's works are on this board.He's the most talked about author on /lit/ since Guenon.

Here's the intro to my very pulpy femdom erotica story, based on classic hard-boiled detective fiction.

Do you think it reads smoothly and pacily enough for the coom-addled brains of my intended readership? Does the voice feel consistent and readable? Does it make you want to read the next section? All criticism would be helpful.

>>21811059
While I have some issues with your formatting, I like the idea of your story. It certainly makes me want to kill this person with a large brick, but I think it reads a little awkwardly in some sections, namely the prose. This is, however, a completed piece, which is better than most people here. I'd say just keep writing and try to focus on making your sentences flow better.

>>21811035
>>21811045
>>21811067
>>21811072
You're not going to make any more videos...because then you'd have to admit to where you're living now.
Picrel is the living room where you shot all your stupid videos.
But you don't live there anymore...that house was sold on December 12.
Google "search by image" tells that story.
Google also reveals that your parents now live several miles away, across the street from each other, in a nice-looking rural area.
But your address hasn't updated.
Are you homeless? Couch surfing? Institutionalized? In hospice for alcohol-related organ failure?
You love talking about yourself so much, including how you're a grown-ass adult still living with mommy and daddy...but suddenly you don't want to talk about it?
What's up with that?

And before you whine about how you get along with everyone, and how this is so unfair...remember that you were outed as the seething schizo samefagging pseud that's been shitting up /wg/ for years.
You're a demotivational failed-crab zero-sum sadcring lolcow.
You're the single worst person in /wg/ , and most likely all of /lit/ .
And you know it.
So enough with your nonsense already.

>>21811165
>he doesn’t like F Gardner discussions

Get used to it, buccko. Call of the Crocodile posting has been going on here for years. You’re here forever with all of us.

>>21811192
Call of the Crocodile and F Gardner’s basically just the Sakura-fish of /lit./

I envy short story chads, I get stuck on one long ass idea and I can't tear away from it
I need a fucking break

>>21811267
Hey, I write short stories precisely because I lack the confidence to write a novel length piece. I know I could do it, but I feel my ideas deserve better writing than I am capable of, so I practice with shorter pieces. That and I'm currently doing a web serialization just to start something longer without worrying too much about it. Be proud of doing long ideas.

>>21811192
And it's all being done by one person, who has no friends, no support, and absolutely no reason to live.
Your shill-spamming is also in violation of one of the few rules 4chan has, i.e. advertising/begging.

>>21811290
same :(

I sent the first one to the Baffler. How stiff is the rejection letter going to feel?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M6si85j9Q2pvIQA86VQwgH-3zCPcg5ne/view?usp=sharing

>>21811091
I like it. If it's actually for erotica the quality of the prose is wasted on it.
>modernist gargoyles
after saying this is where the old money had settled I'd pick a different word than modernist

>>21811165
>being this obsessed with an author who's still alive
sorry my man you are not what we're looking for at the school of literature, you'll have to join a reading and discussion group on meetup.com instead. Don't worry. They read stuff on Oprah's favorite books list every few years.

>>21811194
Call of the Arcade is better than Call of the Crocodile.

>>21811317
Modernism as an art style came into being over a hundred years ago, it doesn't mean the same as contemporary.

>>21811016
I’m writing a story with a corruption-themed BBEG that primarily stays in its own Mordor equivalent region. Besides pressure from the gods, what are some good ways to justify them staying there, and the region being more or less stable in size at the present, so that the hero will be forced to journey to the heart of the region, and risk being corrupted himself, instead of fighting the BBEG on territory where he doesn’t have the advantage? I was thinking that the region is surrounded by a ring of barren desert, so the corruption is slowed down by having to infest each grain of sand at a time. The last thread suggested that they would be attacked if they went outside of their “safe zone”, but I’d like something more than that, especially if it does use avatars/projections occasionally like I was considering it might.

Which is better? Doesn't seem necessary to describe a supermarket.

>Large steel tubes hovered above us and snaked across the ceiling like an octopus’ tentacles wrapping its prey. It released cool air all around the room and kept large freezers cold. The gray cinder blocks were stacked high and encased everything inside. Rows of goods packaged into various colors of plastic or aluminum bags. In one section of the Value Shop Market, stacks of fresh fruit piled in their respective sections. In all cases of items placed, there were tags indicating the prices the modern day merchant was willing to trade for.


>We entered the Super Value Market finding ourselves in front of an open crate filled with packages of meat cooled by the refrigeration systems attached above and below.

>>21811356
Maybe it's power is limited and it'll become weaker if it spreads out too much. To take over more it needs its agents to capture objects of power for it to corrupt and expand its reach.

>>21811356
perhaps they have a sort of biology where they get sick and die if they leave corrupted territory for too long?

>>21811339
Shitting out unedited pre-kindergarten gibberish hardly qualifies one to be a writer, much less an author.

>>21811267
>>21811290
I've heard repeatedly that short stories are harder to write than novels.
I find the exact opposite is true.
I've even heard that short stories are supposed to be the most difficult form, second only to poetry.

>>21811339
Have you read Call of the Crocodile? It is pure insanity in book form. An actual book by a schizo. I'm not even sure if there's ever been a book like it.

>>21811352
I'm aware. it's still only late 19th century, hardly old money

>>21811446
Maybe, but I want my writing to be beautiful and eloquent, and I find it nearly impossible to keep up an acceptable level of writing for anything more than 5,000 words right now, so I focus mainly on short stories. Personally, I find longer pieces far more challenging because of how much planning I need to do, as well as how much I may need to go back and rewrite if a new idea strikes me. It's also very tiring to try to keep up the standard of writing I want to achieve.

>>21809995
>name for someone who can see the past
How about a retrocog?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocognition
Existing discussion:
https://reddit.com/comments/ofqlmj

>>21811481
Exactly. I feel the same way.
So how come our views on short-story writing are so out of step with the consensus?
I'm baffled.

>>21811456
"Naked Lunch" and "Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance" come to mind.
And they are FAR better written.
You're just a pretender and a phony.
And an obvious one at that.
Even among /lit/ books, it's nowhere close to being unique, e.g. Behead All Satans, The Door Was, The Legacy Of Totalitarianism In A Tundra, etc.
Bottom line...you're not special, and your "work" is garbage.

I am writing a short story about a ship
What I want to know is if there are any authors who you think were excellent at writing within enclosed spaces, who really made you feel like you were in the place they were describing

I've just watched a movie which concept is the same as the novel I've been working on for a year. Should I just drop it and start a new project or fuck it and at least finish the novel? My worry is that people will think it's a rip off.

>>21811544
I think people tend to view writing as a way of conveying a specific idea, and with a novel, you have a 100,000 words that you can use to convey this idea, but with a short story you only have 5,000, and so it becomes more difficult. But for me, where I want to maintain the same quality of writing no matter how long or short, it's easier to write a short story precisely because it is shorter. I think if you are okay with wasted words and imperfect stories, and all you chase is conveying that one idea, then novels must be easier than short stories.

>>21811556
Call of the Crocodile is way better than all of those combined. I bet you’re a normie who probably hasn’t read it

>>21811575
Ugh...you're too dumb to know how dumb you are.
Enjoy being a transparent phony.
And I read the "Look Inside" portion of your crappy book. I regret the waste of time and brainpower.

>>21811602
It sounds like you are extremely new if you’re just finding out what Call of the Crocodile is. Welcome to three years ago.

If a litrpg/erotica novel was written, how do I make it stand out from the mass of Hentai Games?

>>21811628
Make F Gardner a femboy twink you can fuck. The Gardnerfags and Gardner himself will never stop seething.

>>21811628
you don't you try to make it the same as other popular things in the same genre but with a slight twist that you get to choose
I too have been thinking of making an erotica hentai game, although the cost of creating a character seems prohibitive at best

>>21811638
Kek. Is there a /lit/ wiki with Gardner lore?

>>21811663
That’s a million dollar idea.

>>21811617
>brainlet non-sequitur

>>21811663
He's a seething schizo samefagging demotivational failed-crab zero-sum pseud.
His so-called books are unedited pre-kindergarten gibberish.
And he's a grown-ass adult that still lives with mommy and daddy.
End of wiki.
>>21811668
You've never even had a one-dollar idea.
Whatever happened to your purchase of 4chan?
Something else you don't want to talk about, I assume?

>>21811709
>this much pent up aggression toward one bad author
holy shit dude get a hobby, or therapy. Even playing vidya is probably better for your head than seething about a goofball you've never even met.

>>21811380
Why are you even writing a story about kids making a hamburger? Nobody is going to or would want to read it

you can't just say he's the weakest but actually make him the strongest
fuck my life I hate these webnovels

>>21811016
>OP removed the grounds keeping prose warning
>Read through thread
And here i thought you fags had information retention abilities

>>21812029
What is grounds keeping prose?

Does copywork done on paper transfer over to when you type? I’m doing copywork, and I’m figuring out why my favorite authors use their words in the way they do. However, I’m writing with pen and paper, but any serious writing is done on my laptop. Would the new ways using metaphors, word choice, etc. stick?

>>21811990
was there a one in particular your post is referring to?

>>21812129
For reference, Brookes name in my novel is BRUNDELIN. It doesnt mean anyhting but it is Germanic and also stupid/ immature sounding so that is why it is used. Eine kleine psychologikal Studium der Brundelin ist sehr schwur und alles gutes. That is the title of chapter four, verse three where we go into her annoying habits I made up about her based on my scant memory of her being retarded. I air in all the other stuff she does based on context clues such as gorging liquor frequently or attending monster truck rallies.

>>21811570
what movie?

>broke 20k views
>this is all going wrong
>I need to up the filtration process
It's not as if i enjoy unhappy readers, but ill be fucked if i have to continusly correct lore retards and devepmentally challenged snowflakes in my comments sections all the time.

>>21812359
>but ill be fucked if i have to continusly correct lore retards and devepmentally challenged snowflakes in my comments sections all the time.
you don't gotta do anything of that though.

>>21812347
Everything everywhere all at once. The main difference is that my story is focused on reincarnation and not parallel universes

>>21811356
Maybe create another force of evil/chaos that threatens to usurp the source of corruption if the BBEG leaves.

>>21811356
>BBEG
God I fucking hate fantasyshits.

>>21812359
You are one of the most pathetic faggots in this entire thread. Stop trying to humble brag.

If you wrote a good story, you won't have bad commentors.

>>21811990
>>21812029
I removed it because I asked for a definition of "grounds keeping prose" >>21803187 and didn't get one.
I'll leave it in if someone would bother to define it.

>>21812359
>continusly correct lore retards
That's on you.

>>21811059
Overall quite good but rough around edges. Dialogue formatting is off, and I would suggest reading the entire thing aloud in an edit pass to make it flow better (always do this for everything you write). There were at least two instances of duplication descriptions that caught my eye as something to trim down to one such as the "clicked and and smacked" heels line at beginning.

Cool I ideas and general tone though

>>21811016
>>>/x/34360556

Rate, criticize, feedback. Would appreciate.

Are there any guides on how to write solid, compelling erotica for the purposes of making a hentai game?

>>21812945
I guess you just have to play a bunch of eroges till you get the schtick. I personally have never seen a porn game well written. All of them have retarded dialogue describing what you can clearly see on the pictures. Idk it's cringe

>>21811849
stfu crab
>>21811380
the second one I think. if an extended sequence of events is going to take place there then maybe a longer introduction is necessary.

>>21811542
>name for someone who can see the past
call them Afters

>>21812659
What is another name for a groundskeeper you early generation artifical intelligence shat program?

Besides someone already pointed you in the right direction >>21802904 and you still didn't fucking get it.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I've been wanting to to write a novel/long story about one of my characters from this worldbuilding project i have been working on for a while, but i realized im in the worldbuilding trap and would like to pull myself out of that, with that aside the story takes place in a apocalyptic setting where people get realitybending powers and interdimensional mixups occur at earth due to an incident at CERN, the main character is unable to deal with the ensuing chaos and with her getting psychic abilities and a slow but sure involvement with a posthuman cult she's bound for a downwards spiral, my main question is if i should write in first person as if its some kind of mental/literal journey for her which gives opportunity to directly show her mental decay and unreliable narration or to just have it be third person where more character's thoughts are written aswell?

>>21812945
let's see, onii chan, uguu, desu senpai, and then lots of ahhhhhh's and ohhhh's. make sure you pick the kawaii voice on the AI text to chat you're using

>>21813103
so what is groundskeeping prose?

>>21813110
What was the first deleted post in this shit of a thread and more importantly why do you think no one directly answers that question?

>>21811165
his books aren't good enough to make you this jealous.
are you obsessed purely by the fact that he's moved a few units and garnered name recognition in small circles?
is your psyche that fragile?

>>21813116
>What was the first deleted post in this shit of a thread
don't know don't care
>more importantly why do you think no one directly answers that question?
honestly, don't know don't care, but if I had to venture a guess it's because the term is worthless when it actually comes to writing and defining it is an utter waste of time

>>21812361
>>21812546
>>21812684
I rest my case.

>>21813106
Then do it.

>>21813106
I like writing in 1st person because it allows for an unreliable narrator and it really helps ground the reader in the setting.

>>21813116
>why do you think no one directly answers that question?
Because nobody really wants to deal with Gardner. His prose is garbage, and instead of taking a look at himself as a writer and trying to improve, he decides to die on the hill of a fifth-grader's 70th percentile level of literacy. Instead, there's just endless shilling of a product which reflects no real talent (innate; forgivable) or skill (can be developed; unforgivable). Writing is more than just putting words on a page in the same way that painting is more than just a bit of canvas with some colors on it in an arbitrary arrangement. The Gardner "novellas" are pretty roughly equivalent in quality to picrel. Gardner has the same level of mechanical skill with language, which is to say, not much. Instead of accepting the input of people who tell him that it's just not good and that he should really consider practicing and raising the quality, he just shills himself.

None of that is "gatekeeping prose." It's trying to get someone who has the skill level of a barely-literate, complete beginner that he needs to do a lot of work if he wants to produce something worthy of the incessant advertisement.

>>21811016
>go to youtube for writing advice on worldbuilding
>every single video is a woman or a yenta
do men not do writing at all anymore? wtf

thoughts on
>muffled moonlight
to describe light softened by curtains

>>21813272
I want to write first person but I'm terrified of writing "I" over and over.

I'm dedicating almost half a chapter to just some dumb 6th grader trying to ink his own comic pages while his even dumber friend keeps bugging him with dick jokes.
I have achieved my ideal form as a writer.

>>21813365
>worldbuilding
>writing
Nona....

>>21813400
well I don't what else to do. I have a vague idea for a character but every thing I come up with needs an explanation and then that needs an explanation. Then I'm trying to figure out everything and it's overwhelming and I just give up lol

>>21813406
>every thing I come up with needs an explanation and then that needs an explanation
No. It really doesn't. Much less needs an explanation than you think. Explanation is boring. Nobody reads fiction to read explanations for things.

>>21813382
How is that any different than writing “he” over and over?

>>21813406
You're creating a narrative, not a history book
Just tell the story

>>21813173
>groundskeeping
F Gardner

>>21813406
Protip: just write about the real world. Then you don't need to "build" it.
>b-but my idea needs the laws of physics to be different
No it doesn't.
>b-but I need gay little elves and stocky dwarves and evil orcs to act as race metaphors
No you don't
>b-but I need dragons
No, you just want dragons.
Drop the fantasy shit. Take two characters, put them in a room together and see what happens.

>>21813406
>I have a vague idea for a character but every thing I come up with needs an explanation and then that needs an explanation.
KISS still applies to fantasy worlds. Nobody wants several lore dumps to be able to understand the plot, they want interesting characters. Worldbuilding should be an optional thing for people who really like your universe to read about at their leisure.

>>21813372
sounds fine to me, anon

>>21813426
>Protip: just write about the real world. Then you don't need to "build" it.
You don't even need to build a constructed world. You can just treat it as if it's real. Allow for more flexibility and inconsistencies. You can fix that later, in editing.

>>21813426
This but removing chuds and contemporary wagie themes and adding stat sheets and anime power ups

>>21813399
Based.

>>21813433
This works too.

>>21813382
In my first book and made the conscious decision to never use the word I outside of dialogue. only me or my. I chose to do this because I never wanted to use the phrase "I said" because that shit would've been ridiculous. Whenever the mc spoke I just used no dialogue tags. Doing that really helped shape the mc's character.

For the sequel I changed the mc and now I'm using I occasionally outside of dialogue because she's a more introverted person. Still sparingly, of course, and I'm still omitting dialogue tags for the mc because "I said" is the ultimate unnecessary filler phrase.

Join this writing discord:

https://discord.gg/hpwXJhZt

>>21813444
discord is cancer fuck off

>>21813365
I'm sure men do writing advice videos, but a lowcut shirt and tits really seems to help the algorithm.

>>21813429
>>21813422
>>21813416
I don't mean I'm trying to infodump and tell the reader everything, I mean just like coming up with it in my head.
For example, I want to write a pulp short story type character kind of like Conan or Kane, but he's got a staff weapon like the Jaffa from Stargate. I want him to travel around with his staff and run into different scenarios and do cool shit with his warrior background.
But then I'm like okay what is his weapon powered by? Magic? Crystal? So what's his backstory then? Oh wait is it more of a scifi weapon? Then what powers that? If he's travelling around how does he replenish ammo for it? If it's just magic then how does it work?
Then everything I come up with sounds boring and cliché and then I just feel gay and retarded.
Then I start panicking about settings, how to describe them, researching them so I don't create some nonsense castle that some sperg is going to BTFO me on for not knowing about XYZ architecture or some other obvious thing I missed because I don't know everything.

>>21813466
>But then I'm like okay what is his weapon powered by? Magic? Crystal? So what's his backstory then?
who cares? that's irrelevant to the immediate needs of your story. he has a magic staff - that's just what he has - and it just does stuff. if later on down the road someone from his past comes trying to get the staff because it was stolen from the great wizard HooHah, fine. but for what you are writing at the moment it doesn't matter. get your character and show him kicking ass. cool.

>>21813466
>Then everything I come up with sounds boring and cliché and then I just feel gay and retarded.
Of course it does, by hyperfocusing on these irrelevant problems and trying to smooth them over with autistic explanations, though you probably think that you're improving verisimilitude, you're actually hurting it. Recognize that no one cares about this stuff except for you, and keep it boilerplate. He has a magical staff that he inherited from his father who was a wizard. The MC can use it because of his wizard blood.

>>21813480
Okay so what you're saying is I should just put a pin in it and forget about the meta details and just focus on the drama, events, characters. Maybe instead of committing to a specific genre and all the implications that go with setting, worldbuilding, etc, just explain the narrative like the other anon said.
>>21813490
Yeah I guess that makes sense, it's just my own autistic need to want to know how a Star Wars blaster works. I'll just try writing the guy and the scenarios and think about that shit later

>>21813466
Focus in what you think is fun and cool about your idea. If you spend a bunch of time and energy on boring bullshit, you'll be giving the readers boring bullshit
Just write your fun Conan story bro

>>21813406
stop writing genrefiction

>>21813532
>stop autistically researching things as a precursor to fun
>instead become an essayist and start autistically researching things as a precursor to trying to convince people you're smart
Nah bro. Just nah

>>21813567
>admits he only writes genrefiction because he is lazy and stupid

>>21813426
>Take two characters, put them in a room together and see what happens.
Nothing that hasn't been done 999,999,999 times before.

which literary awards are worth striving for with my first book?

>>21813574
As opposed to your fantasy story?

>wasting half a hour writing one sentence because I can't get it to sound right
How to fight this?

>>21813577
>thinks the awards are based on merit
it's nepotism, dumb-dumb

>>21813591
cool, thanks for not answering my question

>>21813589
Write the sentence wrong, then come back to it once you have an entire paragraph surrounding it.

>>21813584
If anything is possible, there's a bit more room left to explore. If you want to write "muh life"-books, you have 7.8 billion people to compete with, because everyone has been in a room with another person. But not everyone has the imagination to do something removed from normal life.

>>21813597
> because everyone has been in a room with another person.
Yes! Exactly. You're almost at the point where you realize that writing from life is worthwhile and will help you discover something genuine.
>But not everyone has the imagination to do something removed from normal life.
Genreshit is the worst. It's juvenile and meaningless.

>>21813577
the nobel prize

>>21813612
the nobel prize is given for a string of influential books instead of for one good book
I guess I'm the idiot for asking this on 4chan

>>21813620
all awards are given to a jew or a buddy of a jew they pre-select
it isn't our fault you are naive.

>>21813682
what a great excuse anon
I'm sure thats why you're a failure

>>21813686
lmfao learn the hard way then

>>21813600
Art is meaningless retard

>>21813466
>nonsense castle
This alone sounds more interesting than anything else you mentioned in your post. Maybe lean into it instead of shrinking away from the barest possibility of criticism? Here's a tip — no matter what you do, someone is going to hate it. People hate Homer, Shakespeare, Joyce, Melville. Stop worrying so much about what you're afraid of. Just fucking write instead.

>>21813600
>you realize that writing from life is worthwhile and will help you discover something genuine.
How do you discover something everyone knows already? Literary fiction relies entirely on the "I KNOW THAT FEEL BRO SO REAL" normalfag reaction. Because somehow retards can't get tired of repeating the same thing endlessly.
>It's juvenile and meaningless.
Oh great, another 20-something trying very hard to be an "adult".

>>21813694
smug and a loser

>>21813196
Look at this chud. You as the author are to present to us the readers about your world. There shouldn't be any guess work on your lore or any clarification. If you find your readers not understanding your shitty story, that's all on the author.

>>21813707
>>21813736
So pulp schlock is your answer to all of this? Instead of trying to create anything meaningful, you'll pick an artificial set of "tropes" from your favorite prepackaged genre and then pretend you're creating something.
You will never make anything good unless there's a human truth at the bottom of what you write. You'll understand this eventually, and then you'll realize you wasted years of your life on "world building".
I was there, once. I want you to avoid that same trap. But you're proud of being caught in a snare, proud of having fallen into a pit and mock and insult anyone trying to point out you should maybe free yourself.
When will you really write? When will you stop developing "magic systems" and fictional histories and start addressing the human condition?
You can be better than this, but you fear to even try. It's so safe, that pit. You're at the bottom of it, and know you can't fall any further. So you pile the dirt higher and build castles out of it, populate those castles with stock archetype characters and chosen one prophecies, big bads and a million different cliches from whatever anime you've watched and when you see how awful it all is you just keep building and building those worlds, hoping that somewhere in there, maybe if you make your magic system complex and unique enough, you'll stumble on something you're not ashamed of.
But you won't. All that shit is worthless to you, it doesn't resonate with you. You, the creator, find nothing in it. Because it doesn't come from inside you. It doesn't touch the part of you that we call a soul. You're not invested in it because you've given nothing of yourself.
Take a chance. Try climbing out. Two people in a room. See what happens.

Psued hours

>>21813792
Meaning in art described by the content and how it relates to the reader experience
Continue to quiver in fear of phantoms you made up and perpetuate in your head. Everyone else will be writing what they wish to write
Have some sincerity. No one's gonna think more of you for your token gestures to intellectualism

>>21813792
You're setting up a lot of strawmen there. I'll just leave you to argue with your imaginary friends, I have no time for idiots.

>>21813774
jew lauds jew
just go clip your cock and head off to temple if you want some jew backpats

>>21813890
not only did you not answer my question you have literally side-barred this conversation into a sad projection of your own failure and insecurities. I hope you are not as sad as you seem.
Get some air, stop being pathetic, and next time actually answer my question.
I'm going to stop talking to you now so don't respond to my post.

My son had an idea for a pirate knight, and I will help him to develop and write the story, since I have been writing a lot over the last year and one half. I have written two full books already, each one around 180,000 words. I like big books (not saying these are big books but they are bigger than the average). A person should get a lot of story when they buy your book, or they can get mine for free on kindle and then they don't get to bitch at me for hours of free entertainment.

I think I will start the book with the young chef looking over green, bumpy spherical fruits acquired via trade with a passing English vessel. THe boy has never seen a lime before, but they are told that the little things can prevent scurvy, so the captain took some.

Later, he will arrive at Jamaica in time for the great earthquake that sunk port royal.

>>21813906
I'm the one who said nobel prize. Reach for stars, retard.

>>21813372
You can't muffle moonlight. How does light become harder to hear?

>>21813372
stifled moonlight?

subtle moonlight?

muffled works, as the definition fits with curtains softening the light by wrapping or covering.

muzzled moonlight

>>21813372
Seems fine but you should support this characterization. It's a little vague. Too much vague metaphor will make me think you're just a clumsy writer and check out but it's fine if the metaphor is just one piece leaning into the impression

>>21811091
Thanks man.

I agree about 'modernist gargoyles'. I'll change it. I didn't actually have a clear image of what it was supposed to evoke, I just liked the words.

these threads are terrible lately.

>>21814287
as of late, these threads are ghastly.

I feel like writing simplistic fiction for simple people to read and enjoy might be the move for me. Nothing really young adult novel worthy but at the same time nothing with masturbatory pseudo-philosophical drivel and "hidden meanings" that will make me sound pretentious. Something with flowery enough prose to be easy and cool to read without sounding like straight word soup.

I think that's what my major gripe with writing (and reading) is, especially as someone who came from writing fiction online. No one wants to read anything that's nigh impossible to read because its attempting to be some sophist breakthrough literature.

Right now I'm testing out how this will be with a write up of a horror game I ran for some players. Something short and sweet and easy to read without it being elementary.

>>21811165
Based.
Keep it up anon, and remember anyone who resents what you’re doing is literally just Frank.

>>21813145
>obv Gardnerpost
You have no friends here, Frank. Leave.

>>21812399
If it has anything to do with Asians with generational trauma, basic shit about nihilism and how to reject it. Than dont write it. If it has nothing to do with that besides the idea of multiple lives, than keep writing

hey guys its me the dude that keeps writing smut about boning his mom
I just broke $650 total as of last night! I'm officially in the green!
I am also learning how to use my transcription software to great effect. I'm 2 days into rough drafting and despite some really serious time constraints that are making my writing time less than half what it normally is, I'm about 2/3 into my rough. Might even be able to finish it tonight depending on how long the whole thing is gonna be, but then that sets me up for a really fast edit since I edit like a champ. If I do this right, I might be able to pump out a 15k-20k novella every week like clockwork and even have time to work out.
Don't give up anons! we're all gonna make it.

>>21814372
post earnings

>>21813399
Lol same mindset over here. Ive got a chapter of my story of a Ethics teacher getting bullied and humilated by fast food employees at the drive thru. All while the class he was suppose to be watching for saturday detention class has a hot nerdy teen who gets beaten up for being too attractive and being the new kid at school. Ive got way more fun and stupid/smart shit written down than this

>>21814372
from what I remember your AI voice software was $500, but I forget which one you got. how many ebook sales vs the others? and when it does dialogue does it swap the voices depending on who's talking?

hey just wanted to announce i am giving up on editing my book. it is too much of a slog for me to do. my dayjob is soul sucking enough, i cannot stomach editing my own writing any longer.

>>21814372
sorry, sorry. not ebook sales. audiobook sales

>>21814459
pussy. get off 4chan and edit your fucking book.

>>21813399
I'm writing a story about people making a hamburger. That will be my peak form

>>21814475
i can't. it's too fucking draining. i'm tired.

>>21814578
I’m generally a pretty positive-energy type guy, but srsly that anon is right: get the fuck off /lit/ right now and put your scant energy into achieving your goals. You’ll be grateful later.

>>21814014
its a synesthetic device like saying a sound is wooden

>>21814029
stifled would be perfect but i cant find any instances of it being used for this

>>21814076
the context is
>Through the closed curtains, muffled moonlight shines in on the bed.

>>21811016
I've been looking for a platform to sell my articles on for a while now but I keep hearing that most of those sites are trash. I'm seriously considering just cold-emailing a few bloggers in my niche like "Psst, wanna buy some content?"

>>21814642
substack

>>21813372
muffled is for sound
filtered moonlight
>>21814631
>its a synesthetic device like saying a sound is wooden
Yuck.
>“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

>Went to look up small publishers near me since they don't need an agent and maybe something is small publisher worthy in the future
>Mainly to see what I have to deal with in the future
>All of them require 1k+ dollars in investment, and some ask to pay monthly to keep the book in print. Generic book covers.
>The cheapest plans are mostly the same as self publishing, but you get some books made guaranteed.
I think I will stay with Self Publishing until I make something I really care about and believe it's worth it.

>>21814670
Thanks, I'll look into it.

>>21814709
If a publisher or agent or anyone like that is asking an author for money then it’s a scam. Under no circumstances should you publish any work with them, especially one you’re really proud of.

>>21814726
I guess I should search more

>>21814610
>put your scant energy into achieving your goals
i've been doing that for my whole life. i'm miserable

>>21814578
You just have to let it sit for awhile. Work on something else before you go back to it.

>>21814890
unfortunately i wrote the first draft like a year and a half ago, i did a second and third draft as well, and wrote a separate book after... as well as a few screenplays and the beginning of another book. yet every time i come back to this one, i get completely fucked in the head thinking about it

Main character has to believe his family and loved ones are all dead. But they're not, cause I'm a pussy and I want a happy reunion
Would you
a) show what happens to these people that makes the character THINK they're dead, but also show how they escape death, in the same chapter. reader knows they're alive, main character doesn't
b) show what happens to them and don't reveal that they actually survived until later, so the reader also thinks they're dead and can be surprised at the same time the main character is
The latter sorta feels like a cheap AHA! moment to me, dunno

>>21813106
epic steins gate fanfic

>>21813406
Read Dune. You don't really need to explain much of anything.

>>21814911
it's a cheap plot device so either option will come off as cheap, but I'd go for the latter since there would at least be some engagement for the reader

>>21814911
I cannot think of a single reason why letting the reader know they're alive is better. because you would know the mc is just suffering for no reason the whole time. maybe just drop some hints and have it be questionable throughout the plot, but be sure to come up with a good reason why they survived because otherwise people will just end up thinking he suffered for no reason after they finish the book instead of at the beginning.

Would anyone be interested if I released a book of short stories in this weird/surreal/horror style?

>>21811059

I see 3 ways to view the main character, or read the story:

1. I Hate her. She is a self centered, arrogant, girl boss who only cares about her job. She is every over achieving girl that looks down on people who study anything other than business or STEM in school.
2. She is a tragic character. She has nothing beyond her job, someone like that is probably incredibly insecure and maybe doesnt have strong social skills. Maybe she needs to act like that as a woman in some hyper competitive corporate field. Maybe she cant have kids and uses this job to fill a void. I pity her
3. The main character is insignificant. She is more a comment on society that forces people to always be productive, to justify their jobs even if they may be a bit stupid. Always needing to be efficient. Leisure, art, relationships take a backseat to climbing the corporate ladder

Cool concept but as the other anon said, a bit rough around the edges. Could rework and reformat.

>>21809995
>pastseer
I'd call the action or activity of seeing the past "recalling" or "reexperiencing" and have the people who can perform such services "recallers" or "reexperiencers". I don't know though, it depends on the setting.

>>21814911
Don't show them escaping, you need to have some ambiguity. The best way, in my view, is to have hints drip fed to them, hints the protagonist may overlook or is not privy to. It's like any good twist. Imagine a murder mystery, as a reader would you like the murder's identity to be revealed to you at the start but not the detective? Of course not, because then there's no engagement, no tension. If there's no mystery there can be no suprise. Would you like to be blindsided by the killer's reveal coming out of nowhere? Again, no, because an inexplicable revelation has no meaning. Without any build up a reveal can cheapen the content which came before it. In a good murder mystery, the reader may suspect a few people of being the murderer and there's a chance for them to deduce the truth. If they're wrong, they're not upset because the killer's true identity is still plausible. If they're right, there's massive pay off, unless it was too obvious. Now, dropping the analogy, what I'd do is
>paint a very clear picture that they died
>drop a few hints that maybe they could have survived
>throw in a red herring which makes it seem like they're certainly dead and that any of the hints picked up on before was just wishful thinking
>disprove the red herring
>paint a clear picture that they're alive
>reunion.

>>21809995
Sounds like the other memories in Dune. Ancestral memories, race memories.

Am I muddling the analogy too much here?

>I stroked my beard and nodded. “There are things your master knows that he has not told you, boy. The blessing of the gods is about as close as one can get to measuring destiny and your destiny will surely entangle with that of your children. The winds may blow, but you are the mainsail upon the ship. How you face, the rest will bend.”

>>21814435
Dragon Naturally Speaking, the latest edition. In retrospect it might have been okay just to get one of the older versions, but this one is working great so far so I'm pretty happy about it.
I'm only selling ebooks. No audiobooks. Not sure I could ever do print unless I"m doing it full time and make like, a collector's edition or some goofy shit like that.
To clarify, the transcription software listens to my voice and puts it down as text. Where before I could type 1500/hr when I'm on a roll I can rough draft 3000 and then extend it into 4500 since most of the structural thinking is done. So now that I'm doing it smart my work speed has greatly increased and it allows me to rough draft when I'm on the go.

>>21815053
Seems pretty good to me

>>21815053
Ye, maybe
>There are things your master knows that he has not told you, boy. Your destiny will entangle those around you. When the storm comes will you steer them to safety, or end up pulling them under?"

do you guys submit your work? If so where? What makes a good outlet?

Any high fantasy fags here who draw maps themselves?

>>21815184
Unreal Press

>>21815202
Inkarnate (or other programs like it) makes it 1000x easier

>>21811091
You're writing it like hard-boiled detective fiction but you're saying it's going to be erotica. Does this really make sense? Who are you writing for? Men? Men don't read erotica. Only women read erotica.

The writing itself is good enough.

>>21815216
that's really cool

>>21815202
I draw maps for every new setting, high fantasy or not. They're pretty crude, I won't go into much detail but a simple legend and perhaps a few subsequent maps for specific zones from the overworld seem to do me just fine.

speaking of maps, my fantasy setting is Earth in a billion years and I have no fucking idea what that would look like

>>21815333
if it's that far into the future then you can make it look like whatever you want.

>>21815333

Do what Gene Wolfe did with New Sun

Still writing about that loser Jack. This is my fourth time redoing the intro, and I decided to have him introduced in the midst of a psychotic break! Maybe this would be more of a hook than the last few drafts, I don't know. Making a story about a loser which isn't boring is difficult.

https://pastebin.com/MquDU76G

It's only at 1k words so far, and I'd appreciate it if someone gave me feedback.

>>21814989
Woah that's really good
you should do it, you should put a lot of time and effort into your marketing, purchase covers, spend time on social media, and invest your evenings and weekends into getting it and many other stories together too. And then you should wake up one morning to $.75 worth of royalties. And then you should get home after your job cleaning my toilet and see that your amazon account has been shut down for producing low content AI trash and even your $.75 was confiscated by Bezos.
do it bro
lol

>>21815376
>https://pastebin.com/MquDU76G
>>21815376
First 95% fucking great, would continue reading. Feels like Confederacy of Dunces meets /x/ meets /pol/. Keep it up anon, your writing is interesting and the conspiracy theory concepts layered throughout are really neat. I feel invested in the guy and want to know what happens to him by the end.

>>21813365
Here are some links to help you:
https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/
https://www.worldbuildingmagazine.com/

>>21813116
Oh.
He's already mentioned specifically with "violent shills and relentless shill-spammers".
Just report his posts for "advertising/begging" and hope the janitors aren't drooling morons.
It seemed to work this time.

>>21814287
>>21814302
Be the change you want to see in /wg/ .
Don't just whine about it like an NPC.

>>21811380
>>21811849
>>21813067
First time I popped into these threads in awhile... so many fucking crabs.

I agree the 2nd one works better. Don't over-do the description... I'd do it like this:

We stepped through the front doors of the Supermarket and were greeted by glaringly bright lights and the hum of the coolers. Wandering around the rows of neatly-stacked goods, we found what we were looking for; an open crate filled with fresh and bloody packaged meat.

I realized that Royal Road/Scribblehub stories are mostly chinese cartoon-based stories for young teens, so I'm thinking about writing a isekai litrpg reeincarnation story where the MC reeincarnates as a cut-away-gag character from Family Guy having to defeat a series of characters with Peter being the final boss, as to gather attention to my serious story, which I would like people to leave feedback and review it.

>>21815560
People specifically come here to rip into others. The best thing we can do is give help and encouragement.

Help: I want to write but I don't like reading. What should I do?

>>21815634
Write what you want, then read it, then post for feedback, then get massacrated, then choose between ignorance or looking into books to get help.

>>21815636
I mean, is it normal for someone to want to write while not liking to read?

Would love any feedback. Mature content warning.

https://traff.co/4I3YoK9F

>>21815663
I liked it.

>>21815759
Thanks senpai :)

>>21815634
you don't like reading because you're shit at it
tough it out and learn basic literacy
writers who don't (can't) read are almost all utterly terrible. if you're illiterate, how do you expect to be able to tell if you're doing a good job or not?

>>21815796
Sometimes people read too much and burn out of books for awhile.

>>21815634
Write so much until you're competent in it.

>>21813110
It's writing which is anxious to avoid laundry list prose and instead attempts to integrate every aspect of description into the character's POV or the narrative stance, essentially 'trimming the hedges' so to speak.
someone mistyped gatekeeping

>>21815864

>>21815225
Men read erotica!
*hugs a heart-shaped, velvet, pillow*

Hpw do you go about getting feedback for something like erotica? I'm writing an erotic novel but I'm not totally confident in my abilities and I'm not sure how to go about getting help. I don't think I could bring something like this to a writing group. Are there erotica centered writing groups? Should I write a normal novel and bring it to a writing group until I'm more confident in my writing abilities, then come back to this?

>>21815937
>Are there erotica centered writing groups
Probably. Ppst your text here

>>21815937
reddit has a group for erotic authors. Unironically they're fantastic, 100% business oriented, you're not going to get nearly as much reddit hivemind. What they'll tell you is to just publish what you have on amazon or smashwords and let the market decide. They'll tell you with their dollars.
They have a critique thread every once in a while but I haven't used that yet.

>>21815634
You don't want to write. You're just too incompetent to draw or animate, so you settled on writing.

>>21815634
Do you actually write or do you just want to?
Why the hell do you want to write if you don't even like reading? And you should find something else to do, honestly, or just do it if it's a hobby. But accept you won't be any good. That's like saying you want to paint but you don't want to paint while looking at a subject or referring to other paintings. I guess you could, but it's not going to be very good.

Highly recomend you fags check out new tv series called 'Lucky Hank'.
I only bring this up because this because the average /wg/ poster gets J.R.R. Toldkin in the second scene.

>>21813504
I am going to agree with the other guy.
I have a lot of details in my story, but the more important part is the characters.
So I add those details over time instead of as a huge dump and I feel this has the benefit of the readers not feeling overwhelmed by a sudden influx of lore that they might end up skimming over because it sounds like fantasy babble.
I know in a few stories I've read they've had these overlong sections all about what is happening with the magic, but when they get too long and it ultimately doesn't matter to me as the reader, I just skip it.

>>21814631
How about dulled or darkened moonlight?

How do I write a good story for a videogame?

>>21816081
you don't

>>21816081
Unlike what modern AAA-titles would have you think, video game stories exist to give context to gameplay. Maybe you should start from there.

>>21816081
Start with what you want the game to be, then write the story from there.
One of the only things that actually matters is that you don't write a story that actively conflicts with the gameplay, i.e character is shown to kill by the hundreds but then a cutscene has him give up because a handful of guys surround him.
If I know what you are trying to do I could give tips that I believe would help.

>>21811016
>The "cozy space fantasy" edition.
My space fantasy is anything but cozy. There will be genocide, conspiracy, betrayal, espionage and war.

I have an entire trilogy in my head but I'll never get off my ass and actually write it.

>>21816081
Play Forspoken, then do the complete opposite. Seriously though good examples would be something like Last of Us or the 2013 Tomb Raider where the story and character writing enhances the game. Then there are also the classic CRPG's like Baldurs Gate 1 + 2 where the writing is integral to the experience.

>>21811016
This is my first time writing a story longer than 500 words. Ignoring my ESL word usage, how did I do in terms of character description and pacing? I was about to expand my story beyond 1k words but I want to ask whether I should quit writing or fix my style. I'm still struggling with which tense I should use. Warning: /hmofa/ content.

https://pastebin.com/05HPVFX9

Realistically can you actually make decent money, make a living even, through self-publishing?

>>21816931
You need to be basically a social media influencer to actually make that work

>>21816931
>>21816940
Even then it may not work. Daniel Greene is highly influential and reads a lot, but he still couldn't get published and not many books sold

>>21816931
I think it is possible, but you might not want to bet on it. Just write for yourself and hope that people start to pick up on it.

Surely, writing to make a living is going about it the wrong way, and I cannot imagine that works out well for too many people.

>>21817012
Sold tons of books

>>21815980
>watching the electric jew
no thanks

>one 1200 page book
>two 600 page books
>three 400 page books
which would you rather read

>>21817181
just write one good book before you die

>>21817185
What's considered a good book?

>>21817012
He actually released his sales figures: https://youtu.be/xke64dvmoUc

tl;dw He made $180k from his 2 books across paperback, ebook and audio.

>>21816931
Build the following of readers first via something like RR. Xcarn's demon tree fiction shot up past 10k followers in its first month of posting chapters.

>>21817206
God damn. He made it

>>21817181
one 1200 page book

>>21817196
a good book is one your readers want to read over and over

>>21817223
What if I'm the only reader and I reread it over and over?

>>21817248
Sounds good enough to me.

Yay someone downloaded my book on Kindle and read 18 pages!!!

>>21817298
That is dope, anon. Keep it up.

>>21817298
give me a link so i can download it and not read it ever

is it weird if I want to write a scene where the female protag is nearly beaten to death by a gigawarrior

>>21817320
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTWCGDWJ

>>21817401
You might've heard this before, but any concept can work if it is written well.
The questions that I would ask are, will this come off as a fetish for women being beaten? And, do you have the confidence to write it?
Eventually I'm going to need to write something along those lines just because of what my story is, and I don't think you should overthink it.

>>21817401
Nope just as long as there's context to it. You can even have the female warrior obsess over losing and hounds him to breed with her too

>116 hits
>9 subscriptions
is this a good ratio?

>>21817462
10% conversion rate for anything on the internet is amazing.

>>21817463
But that's only 7.7%

>>21817320
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B5JMJ2FT/

please download and never read my book, as well.

>>21817466
this is /lit/ not /sci/.
>>21817463
thanks

>>21817320
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BJTRBY1Q/

sequel to my first book. self-publishing is great. I have made a solid $20 at least.

>>21817484
Sweet. Link your first book with your second

>>21817484
>I have made a solid $20
so 1.25 people have bought it?

>>21817508
I make like $2.16 per sale or some awful shit, anon.

My parents bought it. lol. My friends. You are funny tho. I hope more people buy it. I think it is entertaining enough, which is teh point of a sci fi novel, although I know that some people seem to think a sci-fi novel should also be a vehicle for philosophy and whatever. I just wanted to write a book about exploring new worlds.

>>21817534
>book sells for 16 bucks and you get paid 2
It just ain't right.

>>21817545
>Don't need to provide paper
>No need to do the binding
>No need to put out ink, glue, servers etc

It's oaky

>>21817545
Even when I buy author copies, it is over $7 for printing. Add another couple bucks for shipping. Something like $10 my cost just to get my book. Honestly, I don't mind.

But it is funny when friends and family see it online. THey all assume you get all that money. I'm like 'lol, no. we get two bucks.'

Now, I suppose I could look to fix the type set, make it smaller font, use up more space on the page, which is kinda what I did on teh second book. looks a bit odd, though.

>>21816591
>good examples would be something like Last of Us or the 2013 Tomb Raider where the story and character writing enhances the game

>feeling really down for weeks
>decide to give certain website about looking for partners a shot
>spend a couple of hours writing my post
>really happy with the result
>realize I enjoyed the process of writing more than the prospect of finding a potential used up whore
>delete the damn thing and start writing something else

I think I'm onto something

>84 unique ips
>Not a single good writer amongst them
Such a sad state of affairs

>>21816591
/v/ here. Don't do this.

>>21816863
Try the return key. I cannot read this, my brain shuts down.

>>21817797
I resemble that remark, turd.

>>21817797
Post some work then, squirt.

>>21817789
Based

>>21817797
Fitzgerald anon has high hopes for us. That we continue to write. Unto eternity.

>>21814631
Feels weak but fine
Seems like crossing metaphors. The moonlight behaves both as sound and light. It isn't clear what the root of the characterization is
>>21814686
>can't distinguish metaphor and literal description
Read more books and less books about books
What is with dipshits and their low literacy takes lately

>>21817949
>Fitz anon hasn't posted in ages
Anyone have his meme they can shade so I can carry on in his honor

>>21817250
Very based positive anon.

>>21817248
That's a pretty big accomplishment in of itself. You must at least like your food before serving it to anyone right? It's really hard liking your own writing imho, I've always hated rereading my stuff to edit.

>>21818035
I don't like it. I just have to reread it to edit it.

>>21815225
>Men don't read erotica
Don't worry, it's not going to be competing on the Amazon marketplace. It's intended for the degenerate femdom fetishists of Literotica.

>>21814118
This post was obviously meant to be replying to >>21811317

>>21817949
I miss Fitz anon

>>21818164
me too anon, me too...

>>21818159
Holy based. What’s F Gardner gonna do?

>>21818217
disappoint

>>21818105
>men don't read erotica
I do, but I'm a minority. but that's fine, 60% of book readership in general is women, so simply by reading books as a man I'm in the minority. women also write more books than men now, too, so I'm in the minority doing that, too
>literotica
when it's posted I'd be interest in reading it

>>21811016
I'm writing a short story. It's about an addict that gets high in his truck. He always has a half empty styrofoam gas station pop cup in there and that's where he puts his used paraphernalia and whatnot (used syringes, baggies that are empty except for the trace amounts left behind, straws or something he uses to scrape off his pipe or w/e) The cup attracts insects like an old cup of pop or juice attracts fruit flies if left to sit. He eventually starts throwing his stuff away directly into the trash can instead. This leaves the bugs (which have now become addicts) no way to get their fix other than from the blood of the man, and they pursue him relentlessly. And yes, it's supposed to be silly and stupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tv75ez_HBg

Has anyone here tried to fundraise with crowd funding platforms? At this point we've talked to 2 dudes who've done it with some varying success. Until I talked to this indie comic guy i was udner the impression that it was a dead end unless you had a massive platform. Now I'm a little curious. No idea how I would structure a campaign though.

What's the best way to organize what I write? Do you guys have any software you recommend?

I read this today in Virginia Woolf's essay on Jane Austen, and I thought it was a nice description of pushing past that early grueling phase of writing a story:
>A little later [after writing Pride and Prejudice], it is thought, she began another story, The Watsons, and being for some reason dissatisfied with it, left it unfinished. The second-rate works of a great writer are worth reading because they offer the best criticism of his masterpieces. Here her difficulties are more apparent, and the method she took to overcome them less artfully concealed. To begin with, the stiffness and the bareness of the first chapters prove that she was one of those writers who lay their facts out rather baldly in the first version and then go back and back and back and cover them with flesh and atmosphere. How it would have been done we cannot say—by what suppressions and insertions and artful devices. But the miracle would have been accomplished; the dull history of fourteen years of family life would have been converted into another of those exquisite and apparently effortless introductions; and we should never have guessed what pages of preliminary drudgery Jane Austen forced her pen to go through. Here we perceive that she was no conjuror after all. Like other writers, she had to create the atmosphere in which her own peculiar genius could bear fruit. Here she fumbles; here she keeps us waiting. Suddenly she has done it; now things can happen as she likes things to happen. ... Her genius is freed and active.

>>21818508
I use the libreoffice version of excel for organization.

>>21818508
Obsidian.

>>21818508
>>21818533
>>21818553
What kind of stories are you guys writing that requires special software to organise it? Genuine question.

>>21818580
For me it's not necessarily a story, but a lot of texts. Short stories, essays, poems, ramblings, etc, I just want a way to see everything "together" so I can make unusual connections between ideas that pass by my head.

>>21818580
Not sure this answers the question, but unless you're jotting things down in a notebook, off-hand notes can be hard to organise. Having seperate word documents for notes is easy when you're starting out, but once you've been at it for a while the folders and documents pile up and it can become a pain to keep track of everything. Excel is useful, because of the different sheets you can make, but it's not really attuned to note keeping and its flaws become obvious with frequent use. Something like OneNote is what you want. Personally, I use Scrivener. Some projects don't require much note keeping, but anything with a semblance of worldbuilding involved begs a bit more planning. Yet after all, for me at least, I like my notes to be both organised and still only one click away from my manuscript. Half my notes are useless, mind you.

>>21818580
my story is long, and has events that happen chronologically to keep straight. excel is nice because there are tabs on the bottom, so I can have one with dates, one with a general outline, one with brief character profiles, one for brainstorming

Anyone know any fantasies that are similar in tone to Ascendance of a Bookworm?
I want to do a story similar to that since it's such well-balanced and emotional way of writing a story, but it'd be nice to use more than one series for inspiration.

>>21818749
I tried to watch the ascendance of a bookworm anime but I just found it boring. I made it I think four episodes in but I had to drop it. There's no antagonist, there's no driving force, there's no real impetus for the character. There's no hook. Maybe you have a different take because you read the LN, but I felt the anime was boring, boring, boring. As far as cute girls doing stuff anime is concerned the last two I saw that I liked were Bocchi the Rock (which is excellent, absolutely top tier) and the 1st season of Machikado Mazoku (which was a lot of fun. unfortunately the 2nd season felt really aimless and meandering)

>>21818580
LitRPG. I have to keep track or all the scores, powers, items, creatures, etc. Notes make it easier to manage. And they show links to exactly what chapter something's referenced, so if I want to alter the rules later, I can track down all the other instances through the story.

I'm sad that most works here suck. I just hope that those who self-publish are not the ones who scream injustice when ignored by everyone. Your books are awful, and at least Mike Ma could write.

>>21818927
I've read somethings here that are really good
pyw crab cuck

>Magic is just like programming
I fucking hate the people that do this. However, I genuinely cannot concieve of how to allow the research and construction of spells and magic effects if it ISN'T like programming. I'm trying to patch it over in two ways.

First, a god chunk of the 'code' is inherent to the object being enchanted. You have to work with the memory of the thing to create the effect. For example, in trying to make an enchanted blade, one might start with a shard of obsidian which only knows the essence of itself--sharpness. (Muddied up with many other physical constants which would be like asking a fish what wetness feels like)

Second, there is no operating language. Everyone is still in the equivalent of assembly language except the gods.

I'm also not going to call it coding, but logic and Will.

That's enough to not be cringe, right?

>>21818933
I have in the past, but won't post here. No chance for fair critique. Will post in future threads.

>>21817181
Three 400 page. I don't think I'd pick up a 1200 page, if I don't like it I'll feel like I've wasted a lot of time

>>21819070
If your worse than the average writer and talking shit you'd deserve it
If you're average then I'll give you fair critique and call you a bitch for asking smug despite being average
If you're good I'll give you a fair critique and a pass

>>21818988
>I genuinely cannot concieve of how to allow the research and construction of spells and magic effects if it ISN'T like programming
because you're thinking of it like a cake recipe. okay, add the base ingredient, then a dash of this and that, mix on low for ten minutes, and then...
And that's a preposterous way of approaching it. Magic should be huge and awe inspiring and mysterious and ephemeral. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can mix together a bunch of ingredients in a bowl, but it takes a special sort to harness and magic into being. Don't think in terms of rules, think in terms of individual circumstances and effort.

>>21819088
It would be incredibly stupid to post, as I am a regular poster here. Wouldn't want my trashtalk to actually affect me.

man, i'm writing a short excerpt about a little kid who is faced with a new baby brother being born, and then the parents break it to him that hes not. i dont wanna anymore

>>21819113
Anon, I gotta be real with you, that makes no goddamn sense.

>>21819178
I say this without any intent to insult: You might actually have autism.

>>21819185
>Don't do magic in terms of rules
>Just make the characters work for it because they're special!
>As if applying the rules isn't working for it

>>21819169
>short excerpt
bro
come on
finish you slacker

>>21815954
>>21817320
>>21817797
>>21818927
seethe

>>21817797
>knows how many unique IP addresses posted here
If you're really an admin, can /lit/ get an option for ID tags like /pol/ has?
That would cut down on the samefagging.
Maybe a posting option such as "idtag"?
>>21818508
I use an outline editor called TreeLine.
It's free, open-source, and does far more than I use it for.

Lotta crabs tonight

>>21819349
bro...

>>21817508
Does that $20 count your expenses, e.g. the copyright fee?

>>21817949
>>21817967
Don't give up.
Don't allow sadness to crush your spirit.
Strive to make the art that will change it all.
Push back against the failure of culture to maintain its strength.
Drag it kicking and screaming with you, if you have to.
Feel pity if you must. Feel sadness, feel rage, feel hopeless, and feel fury. Then write.

>>21817476
I read 40% of the "Look Inside" portion.
Not trying to be mean here, but there's no way I'm paying $8.99 for an e-book for $15.99 for a paperback of this.
The writing style is very juvenile, like what a 10-year-old would produce.
There doesn't seem to be any pattern to the unfolding; it's like you put down whatever you were thinking at that moment and never revisited it.
The lore-dumping gets tedious.
But at least you can spell, and your grammar is mostly solid.

>>21812945
Just write what turns you on. Like I write vore novels, my stories are autistic cringe. Believe it or not there is always someone more depraved than you who likes your work. Most of the time they are actually kind.

>>21819594
Incest turns me on. But I don't even have a sibling...

>>21819707
I have two sisters, and I am a massive incestfag.

Does /lit/ give bad writing advice?
>>>/a/250438664

>>21819707
If your writing a game, make the girls(npcs) react to you(player) based on your actions in the game. You can create a older sister tomboy who dominates you daily. Forces you into side quests with her dominant attitude. Or create a retard sister who always get into trouble and you have to fix it. But I don't know if my advice is good since I never wrote a game before, I'm just talking out of my ass.

>>21819714
Yes. Good for basic stuff, but at the of the day we do terrible telling stories

>>21811016
Fantasy question. I'm trying to figure out "Elemental weapons" but not the usual "Fire sword/Earth axe" shit. I'm trying to make weapons that also function as channels for elemental shit. I only figured out the knuckle/mirror combo for light, a trowel for stone, and a hammer/torch combo for fire. Anything else for
>Ice
>Water
>Plant
>Darkness

>>21819757
First it's dragons, then magic, now weapons?
Ice = tonfas and rings
Water = nunchunks and swallows
Plant = whip daggers
Darkness = garrots and vials

>>21819714
reading his follow up post, seems like /a/non just got filtered
you see more retarded entry level advice here than pseud advice. in fact, it would explain a lot if some retard who doesn't even read books was giving feedback recently

>>21819790
They're more of these elemental beings who have tools that correlate to harnessing their elements

>>21819757
>elemental weapons
boring. but whatever
water/ice maybe a bow. those are the projectiles it fires.
darkness I'd probably go with a shield. dark always seems to pair with something slow or gravity
plant? maybe big 2 handed weapon that can do vine shit or cause stuff to sprout out of the ground. the bladed end is spikes or thorns and it can "bloom"

>>21819810
I'm not trying to go for that. I'm trying to go for something that allows them to actually HARNESS it. A mirror harnesses light, a torch harnesses fire, etc

>>21819809
Then

Water - hoe
Ice - plow
Plant - rake
Darkness - scythe
Fire - weeder
Light - watering can
Lightning - pitchfork

There all the elements using farming tools

>>21819819
oh.
water gets an oar
darkness gets sunglasses (put your grasses on)
plants get a lawnmower

>>21819819
Water - Washing machine
Ice - Fridge
Plant - broiler
Darkness - air conditioning unit

I just slogged through 17 pages that i think are still dogshit but its Done. the pieces are in place and i have got to move on. its time for the graphic bestiality rape scene.

>>21818988
With my setting magic is literally mind over matter.
As long as your will is stronger than reality, you could in theory do anything.
But it is limited by magic being harder to make if you have no idea what you are doing.
So if you understand that combustion requires heat and that particles vibrating makes friction you can make fire magic more easily.
people are also taught wrong on purpose because you don't want everyone to realize how much they could actually do with magic.
Enchanting in my setting requires that people use only their own internal source of mana (most spells use internal mana to make naturally occurring mana shape into runes that cause an effect.) and this mana is more closely linked to the mind and soul, thus it has a wider range of things that can be done but these runes are being etched on a non-physical level.
The closest mine comes to a direct science is that a rune could be seen as a cup, and if you fill that cup with the right amount of element X+Y you get Z, i.e fire and water mixed gets steam or fog.
Magic should feel magic, to me it seems odd to want to overly confine or explain it.
The deepest level in my setting is realizing that the elements being literal elements is a human comprehension issue.
Darkness is the unknown or unseen, so invisibility is like telling reality that you aren't somewhere.
Illusions are light because of the physical bending of light, but they are also broken by the metaphysical element of light showing reality.

I came back to write this post after leaving for a few hours, I'm not rewriting it, but you should get what I mean.

>>21818927
Why would I ever post anything I write in this bucket of crabs? Holy fucking lmao son only the most desperate of the desperate post work in /wg/ in 2023.

Weird question, how can I make this sentence better. The context is that the character couldn't walk through a certain part of town and will need to call a cab.

"A woman dressed like that in public at night could easily be mistaken for an advertisement. "

Advertisement is the wrong word, proposition? As in if she walks through the bar district people might mistake her for desiring to be hit on

>>21820166
open invitation

>>21820173
Yeah that's right, thank you

>>21811302
>To her surprise, the park was busier than expected
Thank you for your submission anon, but after careful consideration we concluded your story is not a good fit for our publication. Due to the number of submissions we receive, we are unable to correspond about your work. We hope to have informed you sufficiently.

New bread >>21820399
Feed old bread to ducks!