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/lit/ - Literature


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21802863 No.21802863 [Reply] [Original]

The "I've been waiting so long to be fucking published " edition.

Previous thread:
>>21792874

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, and relentless shill-spammers, should be ignored and reported.

DO NOT RESPOND OR ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF GROUNDS KEEPING PROSE!

Simple guides on writing:
https://youtu.be/pHdzv1NfZRM
https://youtu.be/whPnobbck9s
https://youtu.be/YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme:
https://youtu.be/zt51rITH3EA

>> No.21802887

I'm writing a short story. It's about an addict that gets high in his truck. He always has a half empty styrofoam gas station pop cup in there and that's where he puts his used paraphernalia and whatnot (used syringes, baggies that are empty except for the trace amounts left behind, straws or something he uses to scrape off his pipe or w/e) The cup attracts insects like an old cup of pop or juice attracts fruit flies if left to sit. He eventually starts throwing his stuff away directly into the trash can instead. This leaves the bugs (which have now become addicts) no way to get their fix other than from the blood of the man, and they pursue him relentlessly. And yes, it's supposed to be silly and stupid.

>> No.21802898

>DO NOT RESPOND OR ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF GROUNDS KEEPING PROSE!
What is 'grounds keeping prose?'

>> No.21802904

>>21802898
https://www.powerthesaurus.org/groundskeeper/synonyms

>> No.21802908

>>21802887
I think this would definitely work as a short story. You'd have to establish the silly tone from the beginning, or do a gradual shift in tone (much harder to pull off imo). I would also play around with form. It would be funny if you wrote it in the voice of a narrator of a nature documentary, or occasionally entered into the mind of the fly (definitely have never seen that done before), or if it was told as a story in an AA meeting.

What's the ending you've got in mind?

>> No.21802945

>>21802898
the flowery meanderings of the garth preserver

>> No.21802987

I think I've accidentally made Elric, but autistic instead of a bitch.

>> No.21803005

>rate my intro
I wish I understood why you like me. Under cloudy skies your eyes look around until they land on me. You smile and wave, and it makes me happy to see you. You could like me because I make you happy too.

Your hair jumps up every time you talk, did you know that? When you’re angry its frighteningly still, like a cat ready to jump. When you’re bored, you play with it. Your finger twirls your brown hair around and around. You took a hurried bath before we walked. I can tell because when I glance at you, your soft voice in the air, a laugh in your mouth, your hairs frizzled ends move with the air instead of with your smile.

>> No.21803018

>>21803005
Its not bad, the hair part I'm split on. Why does their hair jump when they talk? Also jump is used again in the next sentence. Next could be smoother, "when you're bored you play with it, fingers absently twirling it around and around.
And what so you mean their hair moves with the air instead or with their smile? How would their hair move with their smile?
The style isn't bad but I'm having trouble picturing anything going on, it's confusing

>> No.21803026

>>21803005
>>21803018
Same fag one of the best intros I've ever read was the beet intro in jitterbug perfume. It's catchy and sets the tone for the story even if it doesn't have anything to do with the plot, it's a good ref cause I think I get the tone for your story but I'm not sure

>> No.21803030

>>21803005
My version:

I wish I understood why you like me.

When you talk, your hair jumps up every time. When you’re angry its frighteningly still, like a cat ready to jump.
When you’re bored, you play with it.

You took a hurried bath before we walked. I can tell because when I glance at you, your hairs frizzled ends move with the air instead of with your smile. Under cloudy skies your eyes look around until they land on me. You smile and wave, and it makes me happy to see you.

You could like me because I make you happy too.

>> No.21803087

>>21803030
I think you frame it better but I like the original better. I feel like the ending would be better as a question, "Do you like me because I make you happy too?"

>> No.21803096

>>21802863
>All these fucking faggot rules
Excuse me, did I fucking click on reddit?

>> No.21803099
File: 128 KB, 1305x1200, George-Copeland-Ault-Hoboken-Factory.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803099

I've been feeling frustrated at never completing stories, but tonight while on 22mg of edibles I wrote a story from start to finish in one sprint over 5 pages of A4, longhand, in pencil. It's not long but it's complete and - I think I'm now sober enough to judge - not bad either.

>> No.21803186
File: 480 KB, 1563x2500, walk of the gods.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803186

I spent way too long trying to make this cover as to the point and generic as possible. So I'm going to post it here for some self validation as I spend another 5-10 minutes debating if I should add a sun and sun rays to the background.

It uses a pen name, still going to cover it. The writing is shit, don't ask.

>> No.21803187

>>21802904
>>21802945
That clarified nothing.
Are you referring to "Groundskeeping" by Lee Cole, a novel noted for being meandering and plotless?

>> No.21803220

Your hair jumps every time you smile, did you know that? When you’re angry its frighteningly still, like a cat ready to fight. When you’re bored, you play with it. Your finger twirls your brown hair around and around. You took a hurried bath before we walked. I can tell because when I glance at you, your soft voice in the air, a laugh in your mouth, your hairs frizzled ends bounce with the air instead of with your smile.

Do you like me because I make you happy too?

>>21803018
>I changed some things, but yes the idea of hair moving is pretty hard to picture now that I think about it lol

>I was thinking the hair moving would look like an excited person and how their hair moves with them, just in the way they move their hands and body

>>21803087
>yes I was thinking of making it a question but I didn't know if two questions would be too much

>> No.21803225

>>21803005
Ok I tried to do it too just for practice

I wish I understood why you like me. Your eyes are the same color as the sky today, the brushed steel gray of a day before it goes rainy, and when they swivel to meet mind I feel like I'm pinned to the spot. You smile, and then wave. I wave back.
God I'm so happy to see you.
Do you like me because I make you happy too?

I wish I knew if you saw me like I saw you. Like you're under a microscope. All the little details in starting clarity, the pieces that make up your whole. Your hair jumps everytime you talk, did you know that? You bob your head and your bangs bob with it. And it goes still when you're angry. When you hodl your gaze on me and I can see all your anger and resentment flickering behind your eyes, it goes flat. Like the ears of a cat before it strikes.
And when you're bored you play with it. Long piano player fingers tangling themselves in your cherry brown hair, and when I watch them I feel like I'm getting tangled up in there too.
Today you bathed. Probably fast because you didn't have time for conditioner. I can tell because the ends of your hair are frizzy and dry, and they float in the air behind you instead of resting along your collarbone.

I'm not critiquing yours I just trying to practice. I havent written in a while so If I'm ok with knowing what I can improve

>> No.21803233

>>21803096
The old-timers are just sick of dealing with the same moron pseuds over and over.
So now we put a warning in the OP.
It's not our fault so many anons are drooling idiots.
Here's a sampling of stupid questions that have actually appeared here:
"I want to write, but don't know what to write."
"If I write a novel, will I get a cute lit gf?"
"I just finished writing my novel. Should I kms or what?"
After a while, we get a little punchy.

>> No.21803239

>>21803220
>>21803225
Ok this was me, your second go was a lot smoother, it actually sounds really beautiful now.

>> No.21803240

>>21803186
you should change the font to something else
https://fontesk.com/license/free-for-commercial-use/

>> No.21803283

>>21803240
thanks

>> No.21803297
File: 48 KB, 614x1200, owarida.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803297

>>21802863
i asked my sister to read the first chapter of my generic fantasy story and she said "well for a parody it wasn't very funny"
when i told her that my story was not supposed to be a parody and it was a genuine attempt she was like
"oh.."
and then there was an awkward silence

>> No.21803305

>>21803225
I tend to find that focusing on one subject focuses my writing and sometimes being overly specific about everything takes me out the story when I read. So focus on the eyes, or the hands, or the hair, doing all three well is harder than just doing one.
I'm no expert though

>> No.21803312

>>21803305
thanky

>> No.21803350
File: 100 KB, 254x392, david-lindsay-a-voyage-to-arcturus-sf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803350

What are some ways to make a world feel truly alien? In A Voyage to Arcturus the author references nonexistent colors such as ulfire and jale.

>> No.21803352

>>21803283
Try using a sans serif with a serif

https://www.smashingmagazine.com/2010/11/best-practices-of-combining-typefaces/

>> No.21803354

Convince me to write a short story tonight after spending the past 3 hours writing and editing

>> No.21803369
File: 1.30 MB, 1524x2420, wotg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803369

>>21803186
I like the basic elements of it

>> No.21803385

>>21803369
actually looks pretty good

>> No.21803473

>>21802887
Sounds like a Palahniuk story.

>> No.21803479

day 1: produce fantastic writing
day 2: flounder
day 3: produce fantastic writing
day 4: flounder

what the fuck is this

>> No.21803501

>>21803479
It means that something happens subconsciously on the floundering days that allows you then to produce fantastic writing the next day.

>> No.21803556

>>21803369
Objectively a better designer

>> No.21803586
File: 50 KB, 449x449, 915A68C7-684B-45B0-A34A-F2B4048E5A93.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803586

>>21802863
I have two (2) days to submit 1000 words to my professor. should it be easy to produce a high quality piece of fiction in this time? generally, i'd struggle to get 500 words that satisfy my high standards in less than a week.
im hoping the threat of letting down a mentor will spur some creativity in me.

>> No.21803602

>>21803586
1000 words is nothing for me, but I'm an amateur writer. I usually write about 6000 words a week.

>> No.21803708

>>21803586
>>21803586
>1000 words in 2 days
nigger you fucking moron, how the fuck does it take 48 hours for you to do that?
THIS SHIT IS SIMPLE
Make up a fucking story. Jack and Jill went up the hill and boned amid the flowers, but Jill told Jack that she's smoking crack, and that she has new divine powers.
NOW EXPAND IT. Jack is a guy. Make him like you, or something, who cares. Jill is a girl he likes. Make her like other girls, but on crack. Then you make their interactions. They go up the hill. Describe the hill. Then they fuck, prosaically. Then they talk and Jill lets slip she's on crack. Then in a crack induced mania she jumps down the well and dies.
OR SOMETHING. JUST MAKE SHIT UP. JUST MAKE IT UP AND THEN WRITE IT OUT PROSAICALLY, BUT MAKE SHIT UP THAT HAPPENS AND THEN WRITE IT DOWN YOU FUCKING NIGGER IT TAKES LITERALLY AN HOUR IF YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED

>> No.21803722

>>21803708
>ack and Jill went up the hill and boned amid the flowers, but Jill told Jack that she's smoking crack
I want my sides back you cheeky fuck

>> No.21803725

>>21803708
to add,
you likely believe yourself to be a genius. You hemm and haww about how you are such a smartie that nothing is up to 'your standards', and so you produce nothing, except under the existential compulsion of not making your surrogate father figure and homosexual groomer disappointed in you.
Unfortunately, only retards live that way. Ditch your ego and actually write something you fucking nigger, holy shit, kill yourself.
>aight gonna slam out another 1k, did 3k so far today

>> No.21803745

My landlord OD'd again and her boyfriend's pitbull bit a paramedic. It makes me a bit depressed that I can't use them for a story. My favorite genre is crime, with a particular fondness for the dirty and grimy sort, but whenever I try to draw on my own experience I'm hit with the worst writer's block. Maybe I'm too close. One day I'll get a 10k advance on my novel and buy my own house in a neighborhood where people have children on purpose, the floodgates will open and my life will spill onto the page with all the blood and pain for everyone to see. Maybe I won't need to drink myself to sleep anymore. Maybe it can get better. Maybe I should just kick in their door and blow their goddamn brains out.

>> No.21803754

>>21803725
NTA but you described me, thanks for the kick in the ass lol, I needed it

>> No.21803819

>>21803708
Must be nice, not being retarded

>> No.21803937

(Antagonists are talking about whether the Mentor may still be a threat and whether the protagonist could be a threat)

Ishraf scoffed, putting one more sugar cube into his tea. "And you think, therefore, that that prodigious person would stop being formidable because.....he is old?"

He took a sip. He must have found it sweet enough, because his next words were more gentle.

"Listen, boy. If there is one thing my long association with Mages has taught me, it is the fact that *time only makes them wiser, not slower*. If you want to deal with one, never dally. Attack now, and you will be sure he will not be a threat in two decades time. Attack later, and you will find yourself regretting your choice when he breaks down your temple's walls."

Vani's face was devoid of any expression. He only bowed his head in acknowledgement and poured out another glass for the older man.

"And what if..." He said a few moments later, "what if I have intelligence that he *will* be weakened with time?"

Their eyes met for a long moment. At last, Vani allowed a smile on his face.

"All I need now is to see if that boy could be a complication. His defeat of Nguma-Ngo was unexpected, as was his.....*befriending* of the Star-Maiden."

"Then kill him." Ishraf shrugged. "Not yourself, though. It wouldn't do to have everything ruined because some half pay copper saw you murdering a teenager."

"I won't be the one doing it." Vani said mildly. "I expect that The Hound would be more than eager to see it done. "

"Then we had better leave this dimension altogether for a while." Ishraf said. "I would hate to be trapped in a storm."

"Your wisdom is endless, Master Ishraf." Vani said with another bow.
____________________________________

I want to give the impression of them being old friends.

>> No.21803955

>do 1-2k words of storywriting daily
>writing skill goes up very slowly
>read the entirety of Ascendance of a Bookworm, doing no writing practice in the meantime
>writing skill has increased so much by the end that I have to redo a lot of my writing due to how subpar it now feels
I think this reason it helped me so much was that it demonstrates the sheer extent to which an author can hide their intentions and allow characters and events to behave "freely".
It's something that I thought I was good at before, but after reading that series I realized I hadn't been doing it properly at all, I had been making characters act in ways that was convenient for me as the author without necessarily being realistic.

>> No.21803964
File: 148 KB, 708x697, brain.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803964

me on my way to shamelessly plagiarise another story
(I am going to rip off the guy's prologue and ch1)
(it's going to be great)
(I am a genius)

>> No.21803968

>Another 1k into my smut sunday story.
>All the lewd purged
>Can start the week afresh.
Hope you all find the courage to peruse your passions

>> No.21803975
File: 774 KB, 714x724, flesh automaton.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21803975

>>21803955
I've been studying philosophy for a while and I've gotten used to complete mouthbreather readers that can't understand or even remember a piece of character information unless you constantly spoonfeed it to them whenever it is necessary, so I noticed that my writing skill suffered a lot as a result. A while ago I read a story that was closer to my intellectual calibre and that reminded me just how "discontinuous" a narrative can be, you don't need to trace every logical development from that to finish. That's been an important insight for me, something I'd forgotten. ATM I am trying to reintegrate that into my writing and to go easy on the autism. I am glad you've already got past that point anon. It might not mean much to you, but I've really become a giga writing autist, so I am happy when I see people who don't have that problem.

>> No.21804026

Does the perfect hamburger have a fried egg?

>> No.21804029

>>21803937
I think the way Ishraf and Vani interacted in that scene really conveyed the sense that they've known each other for a long time. The casual way they speak to each other, with Ishraf putting sugar in his tea and Vani pouring him more, as well as the mutual respect they have for each other's intelligence and experience, all contribute to that feeling of an old friendship.

>> No.21804066
File: 578 KB, 600x737, 1678534422807598.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804066

>>21802548
>getting shat on by the public until they learn what to do or quit
Why? The vast majority of people are tasteless retards. Why should I allow a group of people who enjoy Marvel movies and listen to Taylor Swift govern the way I write? There's nothing cosmically wrong with either of those things, but I don't value the mainstream at all. I've never understood this "dude, you have to pander to the mainstream or you're a pseud" stance this general has. It makes me really curious what these people actually write.

The way I see it, prosefags are playing to their strengths, same as storyfags are. A very extreme storyfag is most likely extremely insecure about the quality of his prose... his ability to do the "writing" part of writing. Luckily for him, Average Man validates his strengths and weaknesses in Current Year because literary minimalism is the trend and zeitgeist.

I honestly don't really care anymore. Bargain-bin, workmanlike prose is about to be rendered obsolete in the coming months/years as AI replaces mediocre human creative work. We're going to see a return to the valuation of exceptionalism by necessity, because only a very few humans will have artistic originality such that it can't be easily outshone by AI.

I'm probably not going to be one of these humans, myself. I'm okay with that, personally, but I am going to do my very best to keep nurturing a spirit of exploration and of breaking the rules because that's what I appreciate in all of my own favorite literature. It really doesn't matter how many walls of text you write begging everyone to chase after retards' money at the expense of creative freedom. I'm just not gonna do it! I invite you, and anyone else reading this, to leave the stolid, conventional profiteering behind and explore the art of writing.

Even if you don't care about being an artist rather than a salesman, the irony is that AI is going to drive a resurgence of art. The algorithms will be able to Create the Product. Humans will still have a monopoly on genuine art. So EVEN IF you subscribe to a market-based approach to literature, value is tied to the confluence of scarcity and quality. A deeply human, flawed, but individual approach to art is going to rapidly become the most valuable product of all.

>> No.21804076

>>21803955
It’s amazing how much your writing skill improves after reading stories written by better writers, even if you’re not actively trying to get anything out of them.

>> No.21804078

>>21804066
I personally believe workman's prose is one of the hardest to write well and correctly. There's a certain flow to it that's very hard to write. It's as if the narrator is telling you a story while you two are sitting around a fire. Lots of repetitive word choices, metaphors and similes, story within stories, slang that only work for the times, crude humor, and the dialogue is snappy.

>> No.21804244

I did something dumb. I sent in a query letter for a book I’m outlining to a fast responding agent and the agent wants the full manuscript…

Now I can’t send the actual book to that agent when I have it done :/

I cannot write this book in less than 3 months

>> No.21804251

>>21804244
type faster bro

>> No.21804257 [DELETED] 

I started writing my first book
It's really the first time I've written much of anything so it's.... I didn't expect to be Hemingway out of the box anyway, so I guess it's whatever. I'm hoping when I finish I can clean it up again into something nicer, and then maybe do a second one and feel better about it. I don't know how many it takes before I'm halfway decent, I hope not too many. I have unlimited freetime so I'll put it all towards this.
For people who've written books, unpublished or published, how was it? What was the process like and how did you get better?

>> No.21804484
File: 118 KB, 1106x1278, 1679223015592.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804484

i hope the glowniggers monitoring my online activity are enjoying the novel i'm writing. might be frustrating to have to read the chapters out of order. just be patient, little glowies. it's all coming together.

>> No.21804527

>>21804251
How would that help?

>> No.21804553

>>21804484
Hi Terry, I'm glad you've branched out of operating systems and are now writing fiction as well.

Many Blessings,
Tim

Sent from the CIA observational apparatus inside your walls.

>> No.21804572
File: 88 KB, 1300x957, 1679225354326.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804572

>>21804553
GOT YOU NOW, FUCKER!

>> No.21804826 [DELETED] 

>>21802863
In illo tempore, in oppido Grillsville, ibi erat locus celeberrimus, cui nomen "The Beefy Bite". Holeres, quos ibi servabant, ob suum saporem iucundum et condimentum unicum inter mundum noti erant, atque homines undique venerabantur.

At erat aliquid insolitum in carta meni, nam unus ex holeribus, cui nomen "Triple Terror" erat, mentem propriam habere dicebatur, ac saepe audiebatur eum clientibus, qui auderent mordere, devorari.

Custos hospitii, nomine Bill, has fabulas inanis putabat, affirmans eas esse fabulas populares, quae advenientes clientes invitant. Sed die quadam, iuvenis nomine Timmy cum familia sua hospitium ingressus est et holera "Triple Terror" petit.

Timmy, dum primam morsum holeris sumpsit, subitum sensum peculiarem experimentus est. Hoc holera intra os vibrare videbatur, ut vivus esset. Antequam intellegere possit, holera caput eius penitus complexa est, ita ut respirare non posset.

Ceteri clientes, in hospitio praesentes, horrore perturbati intuebantur holera Timmy penitus consumere, vestes eius nudas in terra relicto. Bill stupefactus ac incredulus erat, neque potuit explicare, quid esset actum.

Sed non finiebant miracula, nam per proximas septimanas, plures clientes post mordendum holerem "Triple Terror" evanescere coeperunt. Bill tandem intellexit aliquid valde graviter errare, necesse esse se faciebat, ut id cesset.

Suspendit igitur omnia, invocatis scientiarum peritis, qui investigare holerem coeperunt, atque inventum est bacterium rarum, quod in holerem infecerat et mutatum erat, ut vivam carnem devorare posset. Nimis tarde deprehensum est ad utendum, qui iam consumpti erant, sed Bill cum peritis cooperantibus labore illud supprimere potuit, hospitiumque clausit.

Post annos, fabula de holeris "Triple Terror" tamquam exemplum terribile vivit, ut homines monere, ut quid manducent cavendi sint. Bill, qui clientes holeribus consumptos intuebatur, semper horrorem retinebat.

>> No.21804847

>>21802863
Once upon a time, in a small village nestled in the hills, there lived a goat named Balthazar. Balthazar was not like the other goats in the village. He was larger, stronger, and had a taste for something other than grass and hay. Balthazar liked to eat people.

At first, the villagers didn't realize what was happening. They thought that people were simply disappearing into the woods, never to be seen again. But then, one day, a young girl was playing in the fields when Balthazar appeared out of nowhere and attacked her. The girl's screams alerted the villagers, who rushed to her aid, but it was too late. Balthazar had already devoured her.

The village was thrown into chaos. People barricaded themselves inside their homes, afraid to venture outside. But Balthazar was cunning. He would wait until nightfall, when the villagers were asleep, and then he would strike. One by one, he picked them off, dragging their bodies back to his lair in the woods.

The villagers tried everything to stop Balthazar. They hired hunters to track him down, but he was too clever for them. They set traps, but he always managed to evade them. They even tried to offer him other sources of food, but Balthazar wasn't interested. He wanted people, and he wouldn't stop until he got them.

Finally, a young boy named Tomas had an idea. He knew that Balthazar was a goat, and that goats like to eat things that are green. So he set out into the woods and found the greenest, lushest grass he could find. He brought it back to the village and spread it around, hoping that Balthazar would be tempted to come and eat it.

And it worked. Balthazar couldn't resist the fresh, green grass, and he came back to the village to eat it. But as soon as he started chomping on the grass, the villagers pounced. They tied him up and carried him away to a far-off mountain, where he would never be able to harm anyone again.

From that day on, the village was peaceful once more. But they never forgot about Balthazar, the goat that ate people. And they made sure to always keep a close eye on their livestock, just in case another creature like Balthazar ever showed up again.

>> No.21804858

>posting chatgpt "works"
fuck this general just keeps getting worse, i don't know why stupid assholes have to shove stupid shit in your face, like they can't be happy to have something they have to autistically post something over and over in places nobody wants them.

>> No.21804914
File: 122 KB, 768x512, AI-cthurger-2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804914

>>21804026
Depends on what dimension you're in.
The all-new Cthurger really hits the spot after a day of fleeing from unspeakable horrors.
Now available at McThulu's!

>> No.21804945

scribble bux btfo. behold the power of GPT4

John had a phobia of public restrooms. Every time he entered one, he would feel a surge of anxiety and an uncontrollable urge to leave. He tried to avoid them as much as possible, but his fear often left him in uncomfortable situations. One day, while on a road trip, he couldn't hold it anymore and had to use a public restroom. As he approached the door, his heart raced, and he started to sweat. But then he remembered a relaxation technique he had learned in therapy. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and repeated a calming phrase to himself. When he opened his eyes, he felt a sense of relief and walked into the restroom with confidence. From that day on, John felt empowered to face his fear and take control of his life.

>> No.21804951
File: 284 KB, 987x393, Sevenhundred.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804951

Book's been up for six months now, and this morning I finally hit 700 ratings. Most of my peers in the RR to indie pub circle tend to hit 1k ratings in the first couple months, but then again I think almost all of them go KU.

I just... really don't want to go KU. I hate the KU exclusivity clause, and stubbing the fic on RR when RR readers are what carried it to success feels like it'd be a super shitty thing to do.

So. Celebrating my minor milestone, getting comfy, and writing more Trash chapters. We're all going to make it

>> No.21804957
File: 725 KB, 828x1639, DC85FB16-035D-400A-8A80-3F01D5FF72B5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21804957

How bad is it?

>> No.21805021

>>21804945
Absolutely outrageous how hopeless it is at creative writing. It truly doesn’t get it.

>> No.21805053

>>21804951
Come on the show and talk about it.

>> No.21805172

>>21804957
pretty good, flows easily, didn't get bored reading it
generally I don't like present tense but I won't police your style
nitpicks:
>Economy cars of sour gold perch around bricks like lemons cradled around a tree
this is incomprehensible to me. Lemons don't perch, nor are they cradled, and where are the bricks? In a wall or just lying about loose on the ground? And what is "sour gold" a color? Confusing, but admittedly the word choice does a decent job of setting tone
>the kitchen table feels like a cheap synthetic wrapped in wood grain decal
does it "feel" like that or is it just that?

>> No.21805270

>>21803745
>My landlord OD'd again and her boyfriend's pitbull bit a paramedic
>people this trashy and disfunctional still manage to own property

>> No.21805273

>>21804244
>dumb asshole like this gets a ms request
>i don't

>> No.21805296
File: 12 KB, 282x664, poem.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21805296

But who was phone?

>> No.21805363

>>21805172
I wanted it to be a pun about lemons, both the fruit and car. The setting is the projects—brick buildings. Thanks for the feedback though. I’ll work in revising this section and adding more to the story

>> No.21805365

>>21805270
Let it be a lesson that you're never to young to write a will and make sure the deadbeat addict you disowned years ago doesn't inherit anything by default.

>> No.21805430

>>21803725
I am a genius and my work is all gold

>> No.21805475

How do you balance dialogue and prose? Every time I write dialogue, it’s either entirely dialogue with a few tags, or mostly prose with a few lines of dialogue. Maybe you’re supposed to do the former, but it feels clunky to me.

>> No.21805503

Are you guys writing anything worthwhile, or will it be forgotten before it even reached 10 readers?

>> No.21805544

>>21805503
I'm writing two stories.
1. Five boys try to figure out how to create a perfect burger
2. An serial killer goes around a dystopian city commenting on the loneliness of humanity. But this one might go though a change. I'm thinking of making it very ambitious. Because of that this will be on a pause.

>> No.21805564

>>21805503
Are you writing anything worthwhile or did you just come to bitch

>> No.21805598

>>21804951
>I just... really don't want to go KU. I hate the KU exclusivity clause, and stubbing the fic on RR when RR readers are what carried it to success feels like it'd be a super shitty thing to do.
You're doing the right thing. Amazon is already too much of a monopoly. KU is even worse.

>> No.21805606

>>21804951
KU will allow you to monetize your work, I really don't see the downside unless you are making money somewhere else like a patreon or something. The audience for those who read free fiction and those who pay are often two different ones so you will get new people.
although at this point it would be a bad idea because all your fans are from RR

>> No.21805617

>>21805598
I don't see this complaint as valid, how many other services are paying you when people read your book?
On the topic of doing free because "it feels right" vs getting paid, I will always go to the get paid because every work, if someone wants to read it, has enough value for you to get paid

>> No.21805622

>>21805564
Point out the bitching. I merely asked a question, though your response is all the answer I needed from you.
What of others, does anyone else here have something worth reading, or is it another fiction novella to be forgotten?

>> No.21805626

A TV show stole the climax of my book before I could write it. Fuck this

>> No.21805631

>>21805622
This has the same energy as mocking children for not paying rent

>> No.21805633

>>21805626
What show?

>> No.21805644

>>21805633
Yellowjackets

>> No.21805670

>>21805622
>spoofeed me
Read the author pastebin. Read the thread and the previous threads too. Everyone is working on something worthwhile

>> No.21805671

>>21805631
So these writers you think are the equivalents of children then? Disappointing to say the least.

>> No.21805680

>>21802863
It was a brisk autumn morning when Detective Mary Johnson arrived at the farm. The air was heavy with the scent of freshly cut hay, and the fields were shrouded in a light fog. Mary's keen mind immediately began to survey the scene for clues.

The farmer told Mary that his prized goat, Bessie, had vanished without a trace. The gate to her pen was locked, and there were no signs of forced entry. Mary surveyed the area around the pen, her eyes scanning the ground for anything out of place.

As she surveyed the pen, her sharp mind noticed that the fence was made up of interconnected squares of different sizes. She recognized the pattern as the Fibonacci sequence, a natural occurrence that appeared frequently in nature. Her curiosity was piqued, and she began to follow the pattern to see where it would lead.

As Mary followed the pattern through the fields and pastures, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was on the right track. And eventually, she found Bessie grazing in a field at the end of the sequence.

The farmer was overjoyed when Mary returned his prized goat. He asked how she had solved the mystery, and Mary explained how the Fibonacci sequence had led her straight to Bessie. The farmer was impressed, but he had no idea what the sequence was or how it had helped solve the case.

Mary smiled and said, "The world is full of mysteries, my friend. Some of them can only be solved through the beauty of mathematics." And with that, she mounted her horse and rode off into the morning mist, ready for her next case.

>> No.21805682

>>21805671
I'm getting some hard esl vibes from you

>> No.21805684

>>21805670
What an unrelated response to mine

>> No.21805725

>>21805680
Middle school tier. Stop spamming the thread with gpt 4 shit

>> No.21805741

>>21805503
Buy fedbook

>> No.21805742

>>21805671
Who else asks 4chan for writing advice except people who have just started?

>> No.21805750
File: 317 KB, 600x600, )Cr.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21805750

>starting my first chapter
>realise I suck at starting things
>ask chatgpt to write a start for me
>get like 5 errors in a row
>tfw forced to write it myself
>actually kinda works out well?
It's all about the silver linings.

>> No.21805759

How do you make readers want to follow a main character who has to learn to want to live, and initially doesn't have a personal goal or motivation?

>> No.21805762

>>21805759
What kind of genre is this for?

>> No.21805775

>>21805762
Grimdark / dark fantasy

>> No.21805776

>>21805617
>services
What service? They're just middle men who extract rent for other people's work.
>I will always go to the get paid
People who read for free on RR were never going to pay. But they will follow, review, promote, and generally hype up your works so that others will read it. They give free advertising. Free stuff and patreon is objectively superior.

>> No.21805787

>>21805776
>They're just middle men who extract rent for other people's work.
lol there are NO OTHER companies that pay to have your work there, even if it is exclusive
>But they will follow, review, promote, and generally hype up your works so that others will read it
great, I'll go and pay my rent with all that free advertising

>> No.21805820

>>21805365
...you know, I am just petty enough to do that. how did you know my parents are deadbeat shithead addicts I don't speak to? /wg/ is wholesome.

>> No.21805824

>>21805787
Patreon. Learn to read.

>> No.21805834

>>21805775
Well I guess it depends on the audience you want. I wouldn't read about such a character, unless he's somehow cool, funny, badass. If he's some badass who curbstomps his enemies but constantly jokes with them about having them kill him or him killing himself to end the pain or whatever while grinning ear to ear and kicking ass, that probably could be funny and interesting if handled well.

>> No.21805838

>>21805824
patreon is overhyped by idiots who see top authors with 500k+ word novels (chugging out 6k words a week) earning 3k a month (that can easily be taken away if you stop producing) when 1 person reading that in KU will net you 10$ or, to put it a better way, 1000 readers will put you at 10k for a book that has supposedly sold 0
amazon is the objectively better place to put your book out there, only idiots who haven't done the math think otherwise

>> No.21805844

>>21805824
>>21805787
I hate the monetization factor. I have completed manuscripts sitting here read by no one in the world but me on my harddrive, and all I really want is for them to be read and appreciated, but I feel the need to squirrel them away until I can get that fucking publishing deal because otherwise people would call me a sucker and a loser for not getting paid for it. Meanwhile if you walk into a bookstore all the recently published books are utter garbage and cheap money-grabs riding the tide of the social outrage du jour and whatever retarded trend is up, like 'The [profession's] Daughter' and other clusters of similarly named novels which all get publishing deals within a few years of each other only to never be spoken about again. Prior it was the vampire craze. For a few years we were inundated with shitty vampire books trying to rentseek after the twilight phenomenon where some mormon cunt's shitty wet fantasy went viral for whatever fucking reason because normies are all NPCs that follow group programming.

If we could clear all the rentseekers out of the industry we'd all be able to read better books for it.

>> No.21805897

>>21805844
I don't know. For me the most disgusting thing is this expectation that you shouldn't get paid or rewarded for producing good work. Pretending money isn't the motivation for 99% of todays society and like it isn't the #1 measure for how valued you are in society is bullshit. No, you shouldn't be happy because some random person took the time to read your book. You don't see doctors or architects or social media managers being told "hey you enjoy it so its alright not to get paid as long as people benefit from it." FUCK THAT
You write books. People want to read them. YOU SHOULD GET REWARDED FOR IT.
I guarantee if you get rid of the "rentseekers" books would be 100% worse off by quality because every "good" book you read was possible because the author or their agent found a way to monetize it. This idea that people who want to earn money off their hard work produce worse books is bullshit.

>> No.21805911

>>21805897
>This idea that people who want to earn money off their hard work produce worse books is bullshit.
Yes, but hard work doesn't actually entitle you to a paycheck, and programs like KU exist to cement monopolies that allow for even further eroding of the rights of the author. If you can't do anything else, fine, sell your IP to the devil for a paycheck. If you can avoid it though, it's better to be unknown and clean toilets than to help undermine the long term ability for authors to be paid.

>> No.21805929

>>21805742
No one comes here to ask questions on how to write. 4chan is the worst place to ask questions.

>> No.21805930

>>21805911
>but hard work doesn't actually entitle you to a paycheck
If people want to read it then it does.
>programs like KU exist to cement monopolies that allow for even further eroding of the rights of the author
I don't get this part all they do is pay you and ask for exclusivity, which is reasonable considering they pay for your book. You don't give any rights to your book away?

>> No.21805937

>>21805930
Not if people don't want to read your book.
I don't believe in IP, so I refuse to make a living off such unethical and dehumanizing mechanisms, yes.

>> No.21805945

>>21805937
>don't believe in IP
so you want everybody to release free work and have all authors work as janitors to make a living?

>> No.21805950

>>21805945
Sounds more reasonable than making up laws to ban repeating words I said first.

>> No.21805952

>>21805950
>making up laws to ban repeating words I said first.
you're just making up stuff now?

>> No.21805960

>>21805952
What else is copyright? I said some words, now you can't use them. Dress it up, dress it down, it's an incoherent idea to demand exclusive rights to share information, even art and fiction.

>> No.21805977

>>21805960
if not for the ability for people to copyright things you wouldn't have a single book that you read today, do you even think doyle or dickens made their books so that some chicken shit could word for word copy it and steal it
in fact post your books right now, any of them, I'm going to post it on amazon and sell it as my own and you better not copyright strike it

>> No.21805978

>>21805844
Writing shitty books is not rent-seeking. That's just the market rewarding shitty products.

Amazon is rent seeking, because they don't produce anything at all. They just use the internet to move digits around, which we could all do without them.

>> No.21805984

>>21805977
You point to unethical systems to justify unethical solutions. Maybe we wouldn't fetishize such a stupidly specific form of literature if not for the ability of publishers to capture authors with these laws.

>> No.21805998

>>21805984
>wouldn't fetishize such a stupidly specific form of literature
let me guess, you only write epic poetry in accentual verse were every third word rhymes with every eighth word

>> No.21806005

>>21805838
There’s no way one reader earns you $10 on kindle unlimited. That math can’t possibly add up.

>> No.21806006

>>21805998
I just find the stagnant obsession with the form of "novel" pretty telling.

>> No.21806010

>>21805930
>I don't get this part all they do is pay you and ask for exclusivity, which is reasonable considering they pay for your book. You don't give any rights to your book away?
Amazon gets way more money from readers than they pay out to writers. If they weren't there, all that money would go to writers. So they aren't benevolent.
>and ask for exclusivity,
That's the monopoly part. Writers have to use Amazon because it's the biggest, so they use their power to crush all competing websites or services. It is not reasonable.
>You don't give any rights to your book away?
Not permanently, but an exclusivity deal is giving up your right to make money elsewhere.

>> No.21806014

>>21806005
>For every page read, you'll get paid a certain rate (the KENP rate)–it's usually around $0.0045 per page
You'd have to write one long ass book

>> No.21806015

>>21806005
500k words, if you have 1 reader that reads all those words you get 10$ @ .0043 a page
500,000/(220)*.0043 = 9.7, for every reader so if you write well and have more then 1 reader you will be making bank
BUT
most people split it to 5 novels at that point (3.99 each) which people do buy, and will always be available to buy until you die or amazon goes out

>> No.21806026

>>21805544
It is perhaps based on the burger joint:
Five Guys burgers and fries?

>> No.21806027

>>21806010
yea of course amazon gets more money, they have the audience. You could always make your own site and scream into the void if you want.
>exclusivity deal is giving up your right to make money elsewhere.
lol, its there for 3 months then you can decide not to renew and it does nothing. but why would you because the audience your building from their kindle unlimited program pays you and grows a paying audience at the same time. You're acting like its some bad thing but although all other websites don't require exclusivity, they also don't pay you and they don't allow you to grow a paying customer base. And no, most free readers will never pay a dime for your work on your patreon no matter how much you shill.

>> No.21806029

>>21805977
Intellectual property rights are not real rights because intellectual property isn’t really property because it’s not scarce. There are plenty of ways the author of a popular novel could earn a living without needing another job in a world without copyright laws. These include, but are not limited to, preselling or crowdfunding your books, selling autographed copies, doing public appearances, or even just accepting donations.

>> No.21806048

>>21806026
Sort of. But I wrote it because five guys tastes like shit.

>> No.21806058

>>21806029
I disagree completely. Foregoing the complexity of modern society and how it tries every chance to demean and steal from artists of any kind because you believe people would support them is naive at best, foolish at worst.
Every poor artist who quit because they need money and they couldn't make their art work would still exist in your system but you also damn those authors greatest of mind to abject poverty or menial work that takes them away from actual writing. Shame on you, this is crab mentality at its greatest peak!

>> No.21806071

>>21805897
>doctors
medicine has become such a racket that the average person can't even afford treatment
maybe everyone would be better off not being greedy money-obsessed demons.

>> No.21806109
File: 96 KB, 1024x550, Corrupted Forest by Carpet-Crawler.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806109

>>21802863
I’m writing a story with a corruption-themed BBEG that primarily stays in its own Mordor equivalent region. Besides pressure from the gods, what are some good ways to justify them staying there, and the region being more or less stable in size at the present, so that the hero will be forced to journey to the heart of the region, and risk being corrupted himself, instead of fighting the BBEG on territory where he doesn’t have the advantage? I was thinking that the region is surrounded by a ring of barren desert, so the corruption is slowed down by having to infest each grain of sand at a time.

>> No.21806125

>>21805273
Don't be jealous.

>> No.21806154

>>21805503
>>21805622
Nobody needs your demotivational failed-crab seething.
I know you hate being a failure, but you shouldn't take it out on others, especially innocent people you don't even know.
>>21805626
Stole, or came up with independently?
>>21805759
You don't make your readers do anything.
You either figure out what they want and deliver it, or you find the audience for what you want to write.
You know, just like in every other aspect of real life.

>> No.21806157

>>21806029
NTA. I'm not totally against copyright, but I agree it's not property, legally or in reality. Calling it 'Intellectual Property' is total propaganda to shape the opinions of the public.

Economists always talk about 'enclosure' in England at the start of the industrial revolution. Where private owners carved up the common fields, thus creating landed gentry and totally impoverished peasants with no way to support themselves. Something like that is happening now with IP. Corporations are carving up and fencing off all of human culture. Soon the concept of the public domain will be entirely gone.

>> No.21806163
File: 152 KB, 768x768, 1654484239848465.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806163

how THE FUCK do I turn off smooth scrolling in word

>> No.21806164
File: 201 KB, 1242x1782, hollywood-slush-pile.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806164

>>21806006
Because novel writers make serious money if Hollywood comes knocking.
Getting a screenplay through their system is nearly impossible...see the "slush pile" in picrel.
If your novel catches their attention, they drive dump trucks full of money up to your door.

>> No.21806191

>>21806109
Because the BBEG would be arrested, or attacked, if he left his "safe zone"?
>>21806029
Brainlet socialist take.
If it wasn't for patents, why would I bother inventing anything new?
Without the motivation of reward, I would just sit on my dead ass all day and expect others to fulfill my "needs" as I pretend my "abilities" are zero.
This is why socialism/communism collapses every time it's tried.
>>21806157
Copyrights and patents were considered important enough to put in the Constitution.
Having said that, extending copyright to the life of the author plus 70 years is highway robbery.
It's just Disney trying to protect their cash cow by any means necessary.
It's not like patents have been extended like that; they're still 20 years from the date of filing.
Thankfully, it's easy to ignore copyright laws you don't agree with, by pirating e-books/movies/music/etc.
I buy legit copies of anything I actually like, so as to support the creator, but it all starts as a download.

>> No.21806197

>>21806164
that pic is total bs lmfao. Who the fuck sends manuscripts in 2016? They obviously have all the scripts in some kind of digital database

>> No.21806200

I've edited about 67 pages in the Google doc of my 4th draft. I think I'm finally at a place where I can definitively say I'm happy with its quality.

>> No.21806205

>>21806200
Share? In bored and want something to read

>> No.21806208
File: 2.14 MB, 2704x4056, IMG_20230319_1423562.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806208

Sorry my camera sucks.

>> No.21806218

>>21806157
you know, posts like this make me think those antiwork troons have a point

>> No.21806227

>>21806157
>Corporations are carving up and fencing off all of human culture.
if me making sure that no one sells my book for a profit but me makes me a corporation then I'm a corporation baby!

>> No.21806228

>>21806006
>novels
>stagnant
they're the only form of writing people want to read.

>> No.21806232
File: 158 KB, 826x931, 1653276147543263.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806232

>>21806205

>> No.21806235

>>21806208
>posting a photo of a printed out page instead of a screenshot of the word document
surely this has to be a bannable offence or something, mods?

>> No.21806242

>>21805838
> implying that 1 person will net you $10

Nope. More like $0.41 if you are lucky.

>> No.21806243

>>21803297
post it

>> No.21806254

>>21806242
1 person or one complete read
300 page book, 1 read = $1.35
you get a couple thousand reads a month for 3-4 months and that easily becomes your salary for a quarter
(But that's not counting the people who will buy your book to have or support you anyway I've had days were I check and I see 5 page reads and an order)

>> No.21806270

>>21806208
>Voren Ra Celso, Mazda of Shar'Reue

>> No.21806290

>>21802863
https://www.wattpad.com/story/337045123-early-to-rise

I have about a 180 pages done in my book. It's cheap thrills, nothing special. But I'd like some feedback if you have an interest.

It's about a family similar to the Rothschilds that is worth 1trillion+ dollars going down in a plane crash under mysterious circumstances, and the heir to the family's fortune.

Any other Wattpad users here?

A little about my writing: I tried in the past to right good literature, but I always got too cerebral and lost interest from no feedback. You could say I got discouraged trying to find my voice. So I decided to do a simple book. This is the furthest I've ever gotten.

>> No.21806340

>>21806228
For four straight centuries? Seems sus

>> No.21806356

>>21802863
Once upon a time, there were five boys named Alex, Ben, Chris, David, and Ethan who loved to eat burgers. They would often visit different burger joints and try out new varieties of burgers. One day, they decided to try and create the perfect burger themselves.

The five boys sat down and brainstormed about what could make a perfect burger. Alex suggested that the patty should be thick and juicy, while Ben suggested that the bun should be soft and fluffy. Chris said that the toppings should be fresh and vibrant, while David suggested that the sauce should be homemade and spicy. Finally, Ethan suggested that the fries should be crispy and salty.

After much discussion, the boys decided to start with the patty. They experimented with different types of meat, seasonings, and cooking techniques until they found the perfect combination that resulted in a juicy and flavorful patty.

Next, they moved on to the bun. They tried various types of bread, from brioche to sourdough, until they found the perfect one that was soft, yet sturdy enough to hold the patty and toppings.

The boys then focused on the toppings, selecting the freshest lettuce, ripest tomatoes, and juiciest pickles they could find. They even made their own special sauce, blending together ketchup, mayo, and spices to create a tangy and spicy condiment that perfectly complemented the patty and toppings.

Finally, they fried up some crispy, golden fries to serve alongside the burger.

When they took their first bite of the burger, they knew they had created something special. The patty was juicy and flavorful, the bun was soft and fluffy, the toppings were fresh and vibrant, and the sauce was the perfect blend of tangy and spicy. The crispy fries completed the perfect meal.

The boys were proud of their creation and decided to share their perfect burger with the world. They opened their own burger joint, and soon their perfect burger became the talk of the town. People from all over came to taste the delicious and satisfying burger.

From that day forward, Alex, Ben, Chris, David, and Ethan became known as the Burger Boys, the creators of the perfect burger. And they lived happily ever after, serving up their delicious creation to burger lovers far and wide.

>> No.21806359

>>21806356
chatgpt

>> No.21806362
File: 238 KB, 460x460, 925ab46ee723368e30184ab2caa99043.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806362

I've finished planning out my techno thriller fiction novel and am actually starting the writing process for the first chapter today. It's incredibly niche and I don't know who would read it or where I would put it, but it's nice to know I am writing something of my own for once that's not online fiction, and something I might get paid for.

>> No.21806374

>>21806362
I don't want to shill, but I've seen some similar themed books on wattpad. I just made an account there a few days ago. I would reccomend.

I"m->>21806290

>> No.21806388

>>21806374
Oh, Wattpad! I had an account on it when I was like 11 or 12. Personally, I got rid of my wattpad account because my friends from my writing circle saw the type of stuff 12 year old me wrote on there and made fun of me for it, so out of embarrassment I deleted it all.

Is it still any good?

>> No.21806390

>>21806290
wanna be added to the pastebin? wattpad isnt that great a site for searching and visibility

>> No.21806400

>>21806227
Yeah. I'm okay with that in the short term. But there's no need for a copyright to last 75 years after death, so that your great great grandkids are milking it. Make those shits write their own books. Or more likely some gigantic corporation, like Disney, bought the rights off you. At a certain point, a work of art should enter the public domain.

>> No.21806419

>>21806058
Go on twitch and watch people throw money at their favorite CoD or Minecraft streamer despite the content being completely free.
>>21806191
>Brainlet socialist take.
Socialists don’t believe in property rights. I do. I don’t believe in intellectual property rights, and I explained the difference very clearly. Have you heard of open source software? Nerds will build things and share them. Hell, even in the current system where they could patent it if they wanted, some people choose to give their work away for free.

>> No.21806425

>>21806390
Sure, thank you very much. The title is "Early to Rise" and my pseudonym is Baren Bones.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/337045123-early-to-rise

>> No.21806436

>>21806388
I think it is easy to use. A lot of mafia stories are popular, not sure of why that is. My book is doing well in lists, but I know that is a flash in the pan unless wattpad users pick it up. Right now, it's skating off of my discord posts.

>> No.21806439

>>21806208
You're mixing metaphors. Tearing greedily and belching are both food metaphors. Recompense is financial, and doesn't fit.
Also you use 'stoke the fire' metaphorically when talking about an actual fire, which is weird. Is the wood pile working a bellows?

>> No.21806452

>>21806419
>Go on twitch and watch people throw money at their favorite CoD or Minecraft streamer despite the content being completely free.
No, because if we made this into a perfect analogy you would be making the streamers go outside their streams to earn money (i.e. live events, signings, etc, etc) because they wouldn't hold the right to earn money from their work.
You are saying that writers should NOT be able to earn money from their work, which is beyond dumb

>> No.21806453

>>21806436
I wish you luck then Anon. I'll give it a read later.

I'm >>21806374 and >>21806362.

>> No.21806457

>>21806453
Typo. Meant to say I'm >>21806388 and >>21806362 (You).

>> No.21806461

>>21806228
I read mostly short stories. What format are you looking for?

>> No.21806467

>>21806457
>>21806453
It's cool, I knew what you meant.

Today, I'm thinking of a project closer to my heart. I'm torn whether or not to finish the book I already started, or start outlining this psychological daydream book I have in mind.

I suppose it couldn't hurt to write some notes about it, at least.

>> No.21806474

are there any resources on metaphors and similes I can read? I know nothing about why you shouldn’t mix metaphors.

>> No.21806493

>>21806356
Stop stealing my story idea! And I wrote a first draft of my chapter already!

>> No.21806534

>>21806474
so, you treat writing like assembling a jigsaw puzzle of digital prompts and spoonfeeding, because you don't have a brain that can generate its own brand new thoughts?

>> No.21806579

>>21806474
>mix metaphors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfU69_up02Y

>> No.21806583

>>21806154
>Stole, or came up with independently?
Came up with independently without asking me first.

>> No.21806584

>>21806534
No, I’m just confused why people here talk about mixing metaphors. Surely they have a resource they read from where this thought came about. I don’t know what they’re talking about.

>>21806579
I might be an autist but is ‘mixed metaphors’ a joke criticism?

>> No.21806639
File: 60 KB, 800x450, HD-wallpaper-sword-fight-red-art-swords-dress-beautiful-man-magic-abstract-woman-fire-fantasy-fight-long-hair-couple-black-hair.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806639

>>21802863
Quick question, how do you write swordfights in fantasy stories that aren't terrible? Especially if spells are being thrown around at the same time.

>> No.21806640

>people are willing to pay thousands for an editor
>i dont' even want to spend a nickel for a book cover

I think this hobby isn't for me.

>> No.21806646

>>21806419
>open source software
Yes, and I actually write some, and contribute to a lot more.
But it's a resume item for me, since I'm in the software industry.
>they could patent it if they wanted
You've obviously never been through the process of seeking a patent.
It's expensive and time-consuming.
There's a reason it's usually only corporations that pursue them.

>> No.21806652

>>21806197
You're missing the point.
Even if the slush pile has just moved online, it didn't get any smaller.
The odds of writing a screenplay and getting it sold/produced is minuscule.
But if one writes a novel that's successful on its own, or even just gets noticed by someone in the industry, you have a much better chance of selling the TV/movie rights.

>> No.21806656

>>21806639
Describe the weight of weapons as they clash, the sounds they make, sparks flying from weapons and fighters maneuvering or repositioning.

Describe how a sword looks like, how the blade sounds being sheathed or swinging through the air. Magical energy crackling off it, fireballs being thrown past the fighters' heads, etc.

Just a few ideas. Writing combat is more of an art than a science and it's dependent on the scene's context.

>> No.21806665
File: 570 KB, 2560x800, AI-epic-western-landscape.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806665

>>21806640
I sure as hell am not willing to pay thousands for an editor.
And I generate book covers with Stable Diffusion, so I don't pay a dime for that either.

>> No.21806684

>>21806665
horses are backwards

>> No.21806692

I've decided to try and get my writing to a professional level. Based on the research I've done so far, it seems the best way to improve is to make lots of mistakes and then get feedback. I've developed some exercises for getting instant feedback, but for actual works I think I need to get more in depth critique. I've tried posting my work here before but haven't received enough feedback to make it worthwhile so I've been looking into other sites like scribophile and critters and even reddit.

Does anyone have any experience with these sites? Is it worth it to pay someone for critique? (I may do this later, but I don't feel I'm at a level where this would be useful yet)

Here is a sample of my writing to show where I'm at: https://pastebin.com/uCL6btp7

>> No.21806708

>>21806109
the bbeg is in reality a big fat slug type thing, or plant or something, that can't really move and it's corruption radius only goes so far. whenever people think they're dealing with the bbeg its merely an astral projection

>> No.21806722
File: 8 KB, 150x150, happymerchant-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806722

>>21806232
shalom

>> No.21806725

Anyone have any tips on getting started doing freelance work? I've been trying to for pocket money while I work on projects for publication but I have no idea where to start

>> No.21806736

>>21806640
tbf i wouldn't pay a nickel for an editor either. i just go through and obsessively triple-check every word above a 5th grade level to assure it's not a malaprop nor misspelt and read through 10,000 renditions for line editing

>> No.21806753

>>21806452
That’s not what I’m saying at all, anon. If I go to your house and snap a cell phone pic of a chicken soup recipe, I have done nothing to prevent you from making chicken soup in the future. Nothing was stolen from you. You still have every single thing you had before my visit. The recipe can be used a billion times and on the billion-and-first, it’s just as usable as the first time. It cannot be depleted. People could write a million Harry Potter stories, and the million-and-first author would still be able to write anything they want about the character. He’s not a scarce resource. He’s inexhaustible, as with any other intellectual “property.” That’s why it’s not actually property and there is no ethical ownership of it.

>> No.21806761

>>21806646
>It's expensive and time-consuming.
I agree that the government is the enemy of the people and should be abolished.

>> No.21806796

>>21806753
extremely based

>> No.21806799
File: 110 KB, 900x1350, jane-friedman-the-business-of-being-a-writer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806799

>>21806725
There's a book for that.

>> No.21806803

>>21806753
You're arguing that, just because the cost of copying is negligible, the value of what's being copied should be considered negligible too.
You're a brainlet.

>> No.21806807

>>21806761
Do you have a practical plan for doing so?
Or are you just a dilettante and phony, talking out of your ass?

>> No.21806811
File: 267 KB, 540x403, 1638391469427.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806811

Any anons know a website I can post my stuff on to show others and get criticism and advice?

>> No.21806826

>>21806811
royal road, scribblehub, wattpad, archive of our own. these are for mostly finished, or well on the way to being finished, works.
for stuff that's still in progress find a writing group, or a discord, or post it here. you can use pastebin to share pieces of it.

>> No.21806843

>>21806811
Reddit has several fiction-oriented subs.

>> No.21806849

How would one go about imitating another writer you admire in an effort to improve your own skill? Is it as simple as reading their work aloud while directly copying it, then applying what you learned from it in a paragraph of your own written in their style?

>> No.21806861

>>21806849
Whatever forces you to make and correct a lot of mistakes in a short period of time. e.g you could take a page, cloze delete all the verbs (or whole sentences) and then try to fill them in, then immediately check your answer.

I'm working on a simple web app that does this kind of thing for you. You paste in a passage and generates these exercises.

>> No.21806863

https://www.wattpad.com/1326192174-something-wicked-this-way-comes?preview=true

Does it work? I've been working on this for like a few hours and I just thought it might help me improve my writing.
The main character is intentionally unlikeable, and although I think I'm sure of the ending I'm not sure if it would be better to have him die or let him live and reconcile with his parents.
I'm actually kind of looking forward to putting together the monster hunting him after he goes into the woods to get away from other people.
How does it look so far though? I went with a first-person narration because it gets across how he looks at things better.

Is it shit is it ok how can I improve? advice would be appreciated.

>> No.21806865

>>21806863
link is broken

>> No.21806878

>>21806865
https://www.wattpad.com/story/337336282-something-wicked-this-way-comes
Does this work?

>> No.21806879

>>21806878
>https://www.wattpad.com/story/337336282-something-wicked-this-way-comes
no

>> No.21806892
File: 449 KB, 1918x950, lol.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806892

>>21806878
>>21806863
LOL this is your story? A marvel/twilight crossover?

>> No.21806900

https://www.wattpad.com/1326192174-something-wicked-this-way-comes
First time posting anything. Hopefully this time it works...

>> No.21806911

>>21806892
Lol it takes literally no inspiration from twilight.
There's no werewolves or vampires.
I'm just trying to come up with a monster story about some loser guy who gets chased through the woods.

>> No.21806927

>>21806803
That’s not what I’m arguing. Intellectual property has no inherent value because it is not scarce. The only reason it’s valuable it today’s economy is because of the monopoly granted by the state.
>>21806807
This is a little off topic so I won’t go in depth but I’ll say two things. 1) I would be fine with a vaticanization of the state even if it’s not technically officially abolished. 2) I really think bitcoin’s influence will be revolutionary.

>> No.21806931

>>21806892
also no that's not my story.

>> No.21806937

>>21806927
Inventions are definitely scarce; the right one can change the world.
And how much is bitcoin worth if there's no electricity or Internet?
Did you forget that strong encryption capable of supporting a cryptocurrency was a difficult thing to invent, didn't just fall out of the sky, and couldn't have been developed by a brainlet?

>> No.21806943
File: 588 KB, 300x400, 1677393542519149.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21806943

>so, you treat writing like assembling a jigsaw puzzle of digital prompts and spoonfeeding, because you don't have a brain that can generate its own brand new thoughts?

>> No.21806952

>>21806943
>2 hours later, still completely assblasted
walk it. sniff it.

>> No.21806977

>>21806952
your basically telling people they need to reinvent the wheel. All the possible metaphors and similes have been written already.

>> No.21806979

I am actually going to put my shit online this time and am wondering if it is better to just dump it all at once or serialize it even if I have the entire thing finished already.

>> No.21807022

>>21806979
I'd say dump it all at once if you're confident that you will not want to edit anything anymore and money isn't your main goal

>> No.21807028

>>21806977
>All the possible metaphors and similes have been written already.
I'm glad people like you are my competition. Why don't you stick to reading books, tardfucker?

>> No.21807042

I think this time it will work?
If not I guess that's that but here someone give it a shot.
If it works I'd appreciate some criticism. This is my first attempt at a story.

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/711126-monster-in-the-woods/chapter/711127/

>> No.21807092

>>21807042
Chapters 1-3 can be completely condensed into one chapter. Just shuffle things around a bit, but they'er all pretty much the same thing. Bishop is Holden Caulfield.

>> No.21807098

Re: publishing/professional author life, how do you get into industry spaces and make connections so that you have a leg up and aren't just throwing your book into the void when the time comes? Is it just about being a sycophant on twitter, or are there more genuine ways to become part of a community?
And on a related note, does it make sense to have some short stories in your back pocket and look for calls for lit magazines and shit? Is that actually a thing?

>> No.21807104

>>21807092
I see what you mean, yeah.
Thanks. I'll have to try and put it together better as I move the story forward.
I was thinking of it being a short story but it might be longer than I realized.

>> No.21807231
File: 47 KB, 596x704, Goya.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21807231

Trying to get better at writing shorter fiction in the style of Bores or Lovecraft

>> No.21807232

>>21806753
>I have done nothing to prevent you from making chicken soup in the future.
It would be more accurate if by you taking the picture you can now eat that chicken soup which lets say is MY special type of chicken soup. So now when I try to sell it to people in exchange for "you need these coins or you die" coins they will laugh and say "I have that chicken soup already anon, why would I pay you?" maybe some random person will pity me (and be wealthy enough to throw a coin at me but not as many as those who copied my chicken soup)
Nothing physically was stolen but my ability to make a living off my hard work is now 0%.
So what will happen is I will not make chicken soup. Instead i will learn x skill that can make money and do that instead. And you like a retard wouldn't have harry potter or whatever dumb book you love so much because nobody would make anything that will be copied from them and sold by others like they made it.

>> No.21807255

>>21807231
I can see the lovecraft inspiration in the setting but the writing style is nothing like Lovecraft. The man was known for very purple prose and this is very plain English and frankly feels rushed

>> No.21807264

I wrote a short story, I want some feed back. How do I post it as a large image?

>> No.21807296

Scrivener kinda based

>> No.21807316
File: 149 KB, 894x1280, DD533B67-8CAC-4B51-A914-22687102EC26.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21807316

https://pastebin.com/qi0LBD2E

>> No.21807326

>>21807264
can you link an uneditable google doc?

>> No.21807352

>>21807326
Good idea.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WCSU7Nqg48b5WHNAkrC1iN6_BB49vrRDsF-bnK6xKqk/edit?usp=sharing

>> No.21807382

>>21807296
It's really good, especially if you're the sort to actually organize and plot out your stories. Even going back the ten bucks equal an hour of use, I've raced past that in terms of how much I use it.

>> No.21807384

>>21807352
what's up with the ace combat quotes?

>> No.21807387

>>21807384
french keyboard

>> No.21807396

>>21807387
ah

>> No.21807401

anybody have a master stroke of writing they want to share?

>> No.21807422
File: 55 KB, 653x580, blah blah.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21807422

>>21807401
Not exactly masterful, since I haven't been writing for long, but it's something I wrote a little bit ago as the beginning of a cyberpunk story. First draft. I'm happy with how it turned out.

>> No.21807436

>>21807352
I like the twist, very Maupassant, but I can already sense that not everyone will. You should probably pick a name that's a bit more gender neutral but still biased as a boy's name (like Sam or Madison). Also, the whole bartender conversation is way too transparent a device, you should have just had the date ask those questions.

>> No.21807447

>>21807436
Good idea, i couldn’t think of any good unisex names but Sam just a way better.

When you say way too transparent, what exactly didn’t you like about it? Too forced?

>> No.21807477

>>21807447
Transparent as in I got taken out of the story because I could see it was clearly a device used to let the protagonist deliver their spiel. It's similar to "as you know" dialogue, where two characters tell each other stuff they already know purely for the convenience of the audience. That sort of transparency can be interesting if you're going for a post-modern sort of thing (e.g see: Lost in the Funhouse) but otherwise it just takes me out of the story.

>> No.21807486

>>21807477
I see what you mean, thanks for the feedback

>> No.21807503

>>21806937
>the right one can change the world.
That doesn’t make it scarce.
>>21807232
>Nothing physically was stolen but my ability to make a living off my hard work is now 0%.
We’ve already discussed earlier in the thread that this isn’t true. But even if it was true that’s like saying “if we abolish the government then my preferred job of Senator wouldn’t exist and I’d have to go do something economically viable instead.” If it’s not possible to make money from writing in the absence of intellectual property laws then that’s the way it should be. 99% of commercial art and media has almost always been institutional propaganda anyway. Art as hobby/culture is more pure.

>> No.21807507

>>21807503
You have obviously never invented anything in your life.
I work in R&D.

>> No.21807628

>>21807503
>We’ve already discussed earlier in the thread that this isn’t true
no you said some stupid shit about making a living off peoples pity and book signings and I said that was naive and foolish
>If it’s not possible to make money from writing in the absence of intellectual property laws then that’s the way it should be
glad we could get to the point were you wave your hands in the air and say that I'm right but you don't care because you don't have a logical reason for hating intellectual property but have been spoon-fed propaganda that makes your wittle head feel bad when you think about it

>> No.21807654

2500 words of pure fucking hype
I ended that shit and it was flawless. Damn, I feel excellent. I wish I could write like this every day.

>> No.21807661

I've decided to go full anime writer and make a story about a group of cute girls trying to make it big as idols in a cyberpunk dystopia. The only thing I need to figure out is if I've learned enough from slice of life shows to have it be set in Japan, or if I should stick with America.

>> No.21807702

>>21807661
you could put it in America, with a bunch of Japanese influences, which are especially common anyway in cyberpunk, that way you don't have to be very nuanced, and it can be stereotypical without detracting from it

>> No.21807734

Hah! Even authortubers are starting to use ChatGPT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R59rYTEe9Sw&ab_channel=SydneyFaithAuthor

>> No.21807747

>>21807734
lol did you even watch the vid?

>> No.21807753

>>21807702
Yeah, that's part of why I'm going with cyberpunk. It seemed like a natural fit due to that influence. Although I could go the other way and play up globalization increasing American influence on Japan, making it more anime at the cost of it becoming harder to pull off with enough accuracy to not break immersion. I also have a bit of a footnote fetish and am still a little salty about sub groups no longer using translator's notes to explain puns, so having all the characters' dialogue being in "translated" Japanese would let me do things that I personally would enjoy.

>> No.21807761

>>21807747
yes. she generates a story then edits it. But this will be the norm.

>> No.21807768

>>21807761
hahahahahahaha

>> No.21807807

Why do I write so much better at night when I should be going to bed?

>> No.21807843

>>21804957
Nice flow, but the “name/nickname” S&M makes the story somewhat unrelate-able, it makes me feel very distant to your character. Also, while your diction is impressive, it does not fit what seems to be an unsophisticated and rough character.

>> No.21807852

I bought a red mug. It was a nice, vivid shade. Just plain red, none of the embarrassing remarks or jokes that get old five minutes after you read them the first time and then fade into monotony and when someone new to your house points out the words and how amusing they were, you force a chuckle and act proud.
No, just a nice red mug, a great simple color and pleasing to the eyes. It wasn't to say that other colors weren't just as good, I had plenty of different colored mugs, and I'll more than likely choose one on a whim and gaze at it while I wait for my coffee to give me motivation.
One day, while I groggily awoke and navigated my cupboard for my favorite mug, I murmured "There's my red mug."
"Actually, I'm blue, asshole." said the red mug.
"What?" I stammered. "You are most certainly red. That's why I bought you."
"Well guess again, I'm blue and I'd appreciate it if you referred to me as such."
I checked the mug over, turning it around in my fingers and looking inside.
"I don't see a single speck of blue on you."
"It doesn't matter what you think, I feel blue so I'm blue."
I did not have the patience for this so early in the morning and I quickly reached the end of my patience.
"You're a red fucking mug. You are the color red, if we started referring to things based on how they feel we would never once be correct. I look at you, I see the color red, so that is what you are referred as."
"That's extremely shortsighted of you," said the red mug in a very calm voice. "You're going to hurt someone's feelings being that shallow. I am a blue mug, accept it and move on."
There was a clarity in anger that spurred the mind better than any caffeine.
"How do you FEEL blue? Do you feel sad, lonely depressed, or what?"
"No, blue doesn't necessarily mean sad, that is a stereotype."
"Then how do you FEEL blue?"
"I just do."
"You're a red fucking mug. There's nothing blue about you, and you don't even know how to describe what blue is. It's better to classify things based on their appearance, you can still feel whatever way you want to, you don't have to deny reality to be happy."
"Yes but I'm a blue mu--"
I hurled the mug at a wall and reached for my green mug. Green is a better color anyway.

>> No.21807859

>>21807661
sounds like a setup for some old 80s OVA

>> No.21807948

>>21807507
>You obviously have never legislated anything in your life. I work in City Hall.
>>21807628
>people’s pity and book signings
Funny way to spell “presell your books.”
>spoon-fed propaganda
Yeah, the massive propaganda machine that favors abolishing the government and respecting private property rights and individual liberty.

Since this is borderline off topic and above the heads of everyone here, I’ll just drop it and publish my own novel in such a way as to prove myself right.

>> No.21807952

>>21807948
you are so stupid if you think the only thing that can make you as ignorant as you currently are to the modern author is the government

>> No.21807998

>>21807843
Okay thanks, I’ll work on fitting the rough character. that makes a lot of sense.

>> No.21808015

>>21807859
That may be the best endorsement I could receive.

>> No.21808046
File: 77 KB, 604x451, keyboardfire.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21808046

>>21802863

I made it to the point of getting tradpubbed, but have earned about $1k total on sales since then, all in the first 2 months after release. I don't know what I thought would happen. I guess that's better than nothing. My next book comes out this October and I'm looking to diversify into audiobooks and maybe VNs. I need money to live, but we're approaching AI-mageddon for all jobs, writing especially.

AI written books are already being spammed at publishers, many of whom have stopped accepting submissions temporarily until a workable filter can be devised. On top of this, I'm a white, heterosexual male so I'm beyond lucky to have a publisher at all, albeit a small one, I cannot find an agent, and no bigger publishers will accept unagented manuscripts.

I don't know what my next steps should be, outside of what I'm already doing. It's never been harder to stand out.

>> No.21808073

>>21807761
Chat gbt kind of sucks even for coming up with prompts. I tried to use it to come up with a prompt for a short horror story and it gave me a story about a woman who works at a call center, when she starts having odd occurances happen that make her believe shes being haunted
She finds a locked room with a file cabinet that she digs through. Here she finds out the call center used to be a mental asylum, and that the mental asylum was a cover for an experiment to try and use mental patients to contact the dead. She blows up the call center, freeing the trapped ghosts of mental patients.
You can tell it uses certain tropes like "mental hospital" "locked file cabinet with secrets in it" "ghosts" "Cia experiments" and strings them together with plot devices. Anyone whose genuinely using chat gbt for writing is doing themselves a disservice, it's like putting a bunch of tropes and plot devices in a hat and shaking it to see what comes out. You're better off exercising yourself creatively.

>> No.21808101

>>21807422
>best served over ice
That's not what connoissuers would say, becasue connoissures hate jager. That is what the bottle says. The bottle hates jager too, probably.

>> No.21808113

I got curious what randoms from the internet with no reason to be nice to me would think of my writing. Have a first chapter of a first draft. Any feedback is appreciated

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lAzC01Ffl9NOxSDnwUlr_7zdzVI049Rn7WrJ-kOZ-Is

>> No.21808124

>>21808113
Your prose is a little clunky, but I like it. Also you use dearly twice pretty close to each other in the beginning.

>> No.21808125

>>21808113

Very approachable, smooth and digestible prose if not for the absence of line breaks between paragraphs. There's a few rough spots but this is already pretty good stuff, and over the main hump of technical proficiency. That's a big pre-requisite as nobody will care about how cool the idea is if the prose is painful to read, and yours is above average already.

>> No.21808226
File: 6 KB, 400x400, owqewqiohj.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21808226

is Royal Road any good? I want to put a novel I was writing on it but a lot of my friends say the "meta" on the site is litrpg stuff (i don't even know what the fuck a litrpg is). It's either that or wattpad which I haven't used in ages

>> No.21808248

>>21808226

Last time I trusted a Chinese platform was Fiberread. 4 years, no payouts, no response to complaints

>> No.21808252

>>21808226
Define "good"
What are your goals, what are you hoping to get out of posting your work?

>> No.21808261

>>21805475
When people are talking, then they're talking. When they're not talking you can write as much flower prose as you want, but when they're talking don't interrupt the flow of it.

>> No.21808263

>>21808252
Visibility mainly. I've thought about making something like a ko-fi where people can throw money if they want but I don't really have an incentive to monetize my writing yet. At the end of the day it's a product and people WILL pay for it, I guess.

Otherwise I'll look to publish it somewhere else like amazon. It's my first novel so I'm not in a rush.

>> No.21808264

>>21808073
GPT goes for the low-hanging fruit. The only use I've found is it is handy to use it as a thesaurus. Asking it to rewrite a passage with better vocabulary, more concise wording, more descriptive, etc...
It still wont spit out something that I can just copy and paste and be happy with, but it will give me something to pick through where I might find a phrase I like, or a better word, or just give me another idea on how to write a sentence that just isn't working for some reason.

>> No.21808285

>>21808263
You won't get too much extra visibility unless you hit the rising stars list, not any more than anywhere else anyway.
At least that is my impression of it.

If you're hoping to make money with your first novel and not really knowing the market or having already built an audience you're going to have a hard time. I won't sugar coat it, you've got an uphill battle if you're starting from square one.

What would be better for you at this stage is just getting feedback and figuring out if you have what it takes to get people invested in your work in the first place.

>> No.21808287

>>21808285
Where do you start if you're starting from square one?

>> No.21808306

How would someone whose been raised in an almost conan-esque setting describe a plastic card?

>> No.21808314

>>21808306
a sheaf of stained albaster or some other similar material, like a glazed card. the foreign part can be from how supple it feels depending on the plastic.

>> No.21808319

>>21808314
good shit, thanks anon

>> No.21808328

>>21808306
I believed it was a type of metal, yet it felt light in my grip and did not sap the warmth from my fingers as metal tends to do. It must be made of horn, painted by the divine, for its surface lacked any roughness, and the colors were unlike any I had ever seen. When it caught the rays of the sun at the perfect angle, it shone like shimmering water, as if time had stopped its flow.

I realize this probably isn't what you meant but it was fun to write.

>> No.21808563

>>21808306
Slick as a piece of ivory, but slightly flexible.

>> No.21808578

>>21808263
>>21808287
If you want attention on RR you have to put out regular chapters. So either commit to it, or write your whole book first and then post it a few chapters a week.

>> No.21808600

>scribblehub and royal road most read stories
>isekai
>isekai where mc is a tree, a warship or other retarded object
>retard first person narrative about a vampire fucking his own son, with extensive details about the son's muscles and appearence
>litrpg about retarf subjects
I found bizarre that people read this so much. They don't seem to read more "serious" fantasy.

>> No.21808624

I bought the books from the pastebin under the "general writing" section, which one do you guys recommend I start with first?

>> No.21808641

>>21805503
I think what I'm writing is worthwhile, but most likely nobody will ever read it because it's difficult and surreal to the extreme, with a nested, ~9500 word (and counting) poem near the middle. Most likely, nobody will ever want to read a fiction this shamelessly maximalist from an author without a pedigree, even though I do believe that there is genuine rigor underpinning its central philosophies and some flashes of literary brilliance.

It's completely fine if nobody ever reads it, because writing it has been one of the most frustrating, difficult, and personally-rewarding experiences of my life.

>> No.21808651

>>21807296
I love it

>> No.21808674

It's okay as a first draft, but it needs to be edited for readability and simplicity. You tend to take most descriptions a step too far. When you write the beginning of a thought, you can let the readers complete it themselves.
>A single moment stretched out forever, the end always in sight but never within reach until you were already there.
>There was a kind of tension that collected when things stood still for too long,
Stating it so plainly kills the tension you were building through accumulated details. Avoid thesis statements that sum up a whole paragraph.
>Only one book from the pile stood out to me, and it was almost as if it had been designed for that express purpose.

There's a lot of shit that can be condensed or cut out entirely. We don't need to here every step she takes back to her apartment. Shit like:
>I stared up at my ceiling from the comfort of my sofa, the white plaster looking back down at me with my same blank expression. It was oddly relaxing, so I had begun to make a habit of it without trying to.
>Once I felt the ceiling had grown tired of staring at me,
This is pointless filler. Describing a bored character makes the reader bored. I unironically think that the ability to bloviate is an important talent for a writer, one which I lack, but if it's in your nature to write that way, then you have to learn to be more ruthless in editing.

Remember you have a lot of wheels to spin: plot, characterization, interrelations, foreshadowing, backstory, rising tension, themes, world building, texture, etc. Every line should be spinning at least one wheel, and ideally more than one. Looking at a plaster ceiling doesn't do that.

You shouldn't describe her physical actions and sensations on waking up as a ghost. Blinking, swallowing, exhaling, tripping. It undermines the supposed ghostliness. Also it goes on too long. Maybe just stick with the visual changes and the general dreamlike feeling.

>> No.21808680

>>21808113
oops
>>21808674

>> No.21808681

>>21807352
Watch your alliteration:
>heeLs cLicked and smacked the dark tiLe in the Low Lit Lobby
It's way too excessive and feels really awkward in the mouth when spoken aloud. I don't know if "tile" is meant to be read with the full two-syllable pronunciation or elided down to one. Either way, it's gross. Can't quantify it, but I don't like it. It puts me off immediately to the piece.

>> No.21808694

>>21808681
I think "L" is a difficult sound to work so heavily into the English language without it getting gross. L-shaped alliteration works best, in my opinion, when buttressed with softer consonance; F and H and S. Tougher consonants make L-sounds ugly.

>> No.21808696

>>21804026
Depends on the time of day

>> No.21808701

>>21807807
ADHD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiIhOgpOWcA

>> No.21808752

do any of you guys ever read some of your favourite authors, compare their prose to your own, and get discouraged at how unbelievably good they are, and in contrast, how utterly shit you are?

GGM novels arent even really my favourite, but when I read his prose I cant deny how fucking amazing he is. Why cant I do that?

>> No.21808760

>>21808752
I used to feel like that, but then I picked up Thomas Pynchon's Slow Learner and read his old short stories. It made me feel pretty good about myself to see what a journey of growth he had to go on as an author. If he could do it, I can do it too.
Or so I tell myself.

>> No.21808781

>>21808752
Comparison is best avoided... but ultimately unavoidable. This probably sounds like a cop-out, but we all do have our own voices. Some of what we love about another author may not be his mechanical superiority to us, but rather something we love about his specific voice. I think that the insecurity inherent to comparing ourselves to others can sometimes provoke mimicry... which is precisely the wrong approach, because the more we chase after others' voices, the less we can hear our own.

All said, I don't have an answer for that insecurity. I've been at this for a while now and I can still sometimes feel incredibly insecure when reading a magnificently-written piece. The only thing I've got is that when you go through the "insecurity -> recovery process" enough times, it hurts less and less. I don't think it'll ever go away entirely, but what I can say is that it gets easier to recover from a blow to your confidence. For the first few years after I started writing, every month or so I would have a crippling battle with insecurity. It hurts to doubt yourself. What I eventually came around to was that if I ever felt that badly about myself or my writing, I'd just ask myself a simple question: "Well, do you want to quit or keep going?" The answer is always the latter. This helps me quiet the noise in my own head a bit and keep doing the one thing that's actually important: writing.

Good luck, anon.

>> No.21808787

>>21808328
shit I love this, especially the bit about the lighting

>> No.21808857

>>21808328
Hello sir, please write a novel

>> No.21809010

>>21808600
>>isekai where mc is a tree
LOL I just saw that one yesterday, guy bought ads for it so I saw it on the side under another story.

>> No.21809047
File: 74 KB, 756x635, peter.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21809047

I don't know where I'm going with this

>> No.21809071

>>21802887
Write this; it sounds pretty fun.

>> No.21809143

>>21808113
This is the first /lit/ sample I have read which actually made me want to know more (I'm a relative newfag, but still). I don't think this is quite at a publishable level, but you are easily in the top 10% of aspiring authors and I think this could definitely be a decent story with more work and polish.

In general, you should tighten up prose and try to eliminate words, and you could probably lose a few paragraphs entirely in the bookstore scene and the lead-up to her fall; but overall you have a good flow and sentence/paragraph structure.

I'd also try to loosen up the dialogue. It's not bad, but feels a bit stiff and obvious. You could do more to show character in speech.

None of that is fatal and I would encourage you to keep working on this. I like the concept and your writing is pleasant on a line-by-line level for most of the text. I'm really just saying you are not a master yet. You are doing well.

>> No.21809149

>>21803708
>>21803725
NTA, but how do you ditch your ego? I am very self-absorbed and narcissistic and I hate myself. I can't get past that; it infects every aspect of my life. Every time I try to write it feels like shit, and I start reading something good and I can't figure out how the fuck anybody comes up with anything. How the fuck do you develop creativity? Sorry for blogpost.

>> No.21809157

>>21808641
Incredibly based. Make sure to share it here when you publish it, anon.

>> No.21809491

I think i figured out the magic formula to high quality, prolific writing, guys.

Just have something you actually really fucking need to do IRL, and presto, you will not be able to take your fingers off the keyboard.

>> No.21809559

>>21809047
Figure out rhythm. The text is unreadable in its current state.

>> No.21809799

>>21808287
>Where do you start if you're starting from square one?
Reading and writing a LOT. Getting good.

When you feel you have got good, post wherever you can, join communities, start building an audience. If getting good was hard enough and you don't have what it takes to also get good at marketing then start sending your manuscripts off to publishers and hope for the best.

Writing is life-long pursuit. If you are one of the unlucky fools to be cursed with an insatiable desire write, then just keep doing it and one day you will get to where you want to be.

Additional piece of advice, take it or leave it, but read EVERYTHING. Try to understand why it works even if it isn't for you. Read the greeks, the classics, young adult and sexy vampires.

>> No.21809807

>>21808263
>At the end of the day it's a product and people WILL pay for it, I guess
lol, nobodies just going to hand you money

>> No.21809991

I'm struggling to create an interesting "femcel" character. Of course, she has a lot of unappealing characteristics, such as pimples and terrible outfits, but I want to give her something nice for balance.
So, what is the least unappealing combination:
- Chubby but with big breasts
- Slim but with flat chest

>> No.21809995

I need help, bros. I'm writing a novel and I need a name for someone who can see the past, similar to how seers/oracles can see the future. I've googled and apparently there are pretty much no actual words for someone with this ability except clairvoyant, but that has a wide-range of meanings and too many for it to be used for my specific need.
Any suggestions?
All I can think of is pastseer and I'm pretty sure that sounds fucking terrible.
For further information, basically they are a witchy like character who can take objects that were involved in specific events, especially major or traumatic ones, and can use it to recall 'memories' of the past that item was involved in.

>> No.21810003

>>21809995
Praeter
:)

>> No.21810009

>>21809991
>Of course, she has a lot of unappealing characteristics, such as pimples
dropped

>> No.21810023

>>21809991
For mine I went chubby with big breasts, with aspergers. She's intelligent but as an aspie she has issues dealing with other people. She thinks she may be a "lesbian" but that's because she doesn't like men because they make her uncomfortable. She wears baggy clothing. She generally stays in her room. Her sister doesn't like her. Her mother sort of only tolerates her. Her father's fine with her, but he works. They both like the younger sister more. That's all the sort of backstory for her. Here's the first chapter I wrote, which makes most of that clear, but all of that is sort of prologue for the current situation she's found herself in.

https://pastebin.com/EhiY1X7K

>> No.21810035

>>21810023
Thank you very much, I'll probably go with that.
>>21810009
It was either that or dental braces, and the second option would make the character too gross (and cliché) considering that she's an uggo. As I said, finding the right balance is hard.

>> No.21810052

>>21809995
Analept

>> No.21810203

>>21809995
>I need a name for someone who can see the past
>I need a name for someone
John.

>> No.21810348

translated a poem:

I built a house by the ocean
and the ocean it said o kay
here I am and my name is
Hudson Bay

In the evening‘s tranquil darkness
I heard the sound of the waves
that is the way of this world
so it is

And my heart was filled with peace
and the sailor‘s dreamy rest
I thought about all that I had loved
and yet

Tonight I will freeze to death
in a cabin by Hudson‘s bay
you great and eternal spirit
O kay

>> No.21810396

I am having trouble deciding the dynamic between the protagonist's main girl and her slave. Said slave is a girl only a few years older than her that was assigned to be her bodyguard and companion.

I don't want their relationship to be too familiar, but neither do I want it to be as hierarchal as it should be. That would make the Love Interest girl look bad.

>> No.21810490

>>21810396
>I don't want their relationship to be too familiar
why not? only in the most modern contexts is slavery viewed as always bad all the time. slave owners generally took very good care of their slaves because they were an investment and they generally got along well because they were around each other so much. depending on you main girl's social status her slave might be afforded privileges even moreso than free people. the way you do it is the mistress has the final say, but because the slave is in a position of responsibility she very often gets her way. basically treat their relationship like an older sister/younger one in private, but in public the mistress is the boss.

>> No.21810542
File: 8 KB, 225x225, RatGun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21810542

Give me tips on how to write more descriptive and engrossing scenes.

Every time I describe a scene, I write 1-2 sentences and fel that's good enough yet good literature I've read, they sometimes describe scenes in entire pages. How do I do this without being excessive and bombastic?

>> No.21810564

How do I into plot, bros?
I've heard loads of bullshit advice like "just come up with good characters and plot happens automatically" but it's never worked for me
I come up with great characters and then they sit around doing nothing

>> No.21810568

>>21810564
how are they great if they never do anything?
what's good about characters is the things they do

>> No.21810569

>>21810542
Do you have any examples? I know this is probably annoying to hear, but you just have to show, don't tell. Surely there's something you can include in the description of a scene or whatever that is relevant to the plot.

>> No.21810574

>>21810569
I'm writing a scene right now of a character walking in a military encampment and I'm not sure how deep into detail I should go. I have a basic idea of what the character is thinking about but don't know what I should do with the military camp.

>> No.21810580

>>21810568
Because they can make taking a piss and eating a sandwich into a compelling scene, but that doesn't mean shit if it doesn't move the plot forward

>> No.21810605

>>21809991
I love sticcs so goddamn much
fucking hell whales are disgusting

>> No.21810613

>>21810542
Count yourself lucky because you have the opposite problem to the vast majority of people in this thread.

>> No.21810624

>>21810564
>I come up with great characters and then they sit around doing nothing
well clearly they're not great characters if they don't want to do anything. people want things, they have goals and ambitions. if they just sit around they may as well be potted plants, pieces of scenery, not characters

>> No.21810642

>>21810613
Eh most my writing is essentially static boring language which makes me sound dull and autistic

>> No.21810738
File: 200 KB, 1080x1920, Warriors_Vampires_Black_background_Hat_571425_1080x1920.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21810738

>>21802863
How do you write non-cliche vampire MCs? Especially if they’re not evil?

>> No.21810749

>>21810738
hard dick, uppers, and trust the muse

>> No.21810751

>>21810738
do we need more vampire genretrash in the world?

>> No.21810758

>>21810751
>need
>art
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>> No.21810759

Join this writing discord
https://discord.gg/hpwXJhZt

>> No.21810765

>>21810574
describe how it looks, some of the logistics, or the looks of some of the people he sees. i have the same issue as you and i try to ramble in as much detail i can. thats what ive noticed reading well regarded novels. the author just goes on and on

>> No.21810769
File: 11 KB, 348x186, pepescared1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21810769

all-caps for screaming? yay or nay?

>> No.21810772

>>21810738
She awoke to find a handsome fellow with his stake raised high. He thrusted it straight and true into her heart and put his lips close to her face, breathing his garlicy breath into her nostrils as death overtook her. The last thing she saw was his cross held to her eyes.

>> No.21810788

>>21810759
you should not post embarassing things

>> No.21810790
File: 72 KB, 167x207, mfw.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21810790

>>21810759

>> No.21810805

When was the last time we had a decent horror story about faeries that showed them the true malevlonce nightmarish horror they really are?

>> No.21810817 [DELETED] 
File: 635 KB, 2062x1535, CA2CA873-E240-41C9-AD0C-BE7BB7E9429C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21810817

I’ve read all of F Gardner’s “Horror’s Call.” They are the best books from /wg./ pic related

>> No.21810831

>>21810805
See>>21810817
F Gardner has a dozen plus horror books that involve demonic machine elves. One of them involves a leprechaun that’s trying to come out of the DMT world and burn down Chicago. Wild

>> No.21810878

>>21809149
It's pretty simple.
Writing is a trade, like carpentery, plumbing, cabinetry, or any other blue collar work. Lots of people pretend that it's not -- that writing is magic, and only sorcerers can make it materialize out of thin air.
you simply have to learn:
>what stuff is structurally sound, like a building. this is your plotting and your understanding of tropes and beats
>what tools to use, how to use them, how to utilize them for personal effect. This is grammar, prose, outliners, programs like scrivener, etc
>practice, learn from experience. no first time carpenter shat out a mansion. No first time plumber got a city running free of cholera.
>invest lots and lots of time. drafting takes forever, editing takes forever, you just have to always work at it and make it work.
>but what about great pantsers
subconsciously build their skillset through practice and reading great stuff, even if they're not able to vocalize exactly what makes good work, good.
>but X author is so prolific
you can be too, just get better.
ego is false expectation. It's just a misunderstanding that you have about the world, that the brilliant finished products you see are somehow just shat out by people who don't have special skillsets. It's the idea that somehow, without skill, you can do that too. You can't. You need to learn and practice, like a baby.
gl anon

>> No.21810888

>>21810878
Your right. Yeah anyone can technically do it
>>21810831
Actually F Gardner is really inspiring. He’s written so many books from here and that’s just freakin awesome

>> No.21810908

>>21810878
t. schlock writer

>> No.21810986

>>21810817
>>21810831
>>21810888
Fuck off, Gardner.
I guess your ban is over, and you're back to the same behavior that got you banned.
And if you're not still living with your mommy and daddy, despite being a grown-ass adult...then what's your living situation?
Too embarrassed to say?

>> No.21811025

(To the tune of "The Seeker" by The Who)
I lurk on the boards
I lurk on the forums
I see so many people
And I just want to hurt 'em
They call me The Seether
I've been seething low and high
I won't say a single kind word
Till the day I die

New thread >>21811016

>> No.21811026

>>21810888
Like a lot of people here, I find F. Gardner interesting because of his youtube personality. Updates from his youtube channel are probably the most interesting things from these generals. It's fascinating to hear his ideas. Watching F. Gardner's videos feels like I'm going on an adventure with him.

>> No.21811172

>>21806232
A new American classic

>> No.21811469

>>21809995
Foreseer.
Historian