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/lit/ - Literature

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[ERROR] No.2179805[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

So you are rubbing your penis thinking of Ayn Rand when a djinn comes out of your balls. He says you have been blessed by the God of Literature and you may choose one of the following:

A. You may revive one writer/philosopher of your choice and chat with him or having write an extra book (if you revived a writer) before he dies for good.

B. Pick any language. You may now read anything in this language as if it were your mother tongue.

C. You now read 6 times as fast.

D. You have enough inspiration to write that ONE book you've always wanted to write. Your writing style is permanently improved too.

E. $5 000 000 in a special bank account, but you may only spend this in books/literature related items.

F. You may have sex with any book character of your choice.

However everything comes with a price, and the djinn tells you that you must sacrifice a /lit/ tripfag's life if you want to be granted one of these wishes. You may decide how painful the tripfag's death is, however: the longer, the more painful.

So, what do you choose and what tripfag do you kill?

>> No.2179806

A, Socrates. Tybrax to die - quickly and painlessly, I'm not a cruel man.

>> No.2179808

>fapping to Ayn Rand is blessing from the God of Literature
Right.

C, my reading schedule is too damn long. And I kill Deep&Edgy of course. Quickly.

>> No.2179809

I pick C. I always kind of feel like there's so much literature and so little time, and C would go a long way towards remedying that problem.

B was very tempting (would've picked French).

Sunhawk dies because he's the only tripfag who I can remember off the top of my head.

>> No.2179810

F. The White Whale from Moby Dick. Right in the blowhole.

Any tripfag will do. They're all basically the same. I opt for very painfully.

>> No.2179813

>>2179810
moar like Moby's Dick, amirite?

E, anyone not picking the cash is a faggot. And Deep&Edgy dies painfully.

>> No.2179815

I choose B because necromancy is a sin and being able to read russian or chinese would be useful as well as opening up new vistas of literature.

>> No.2179816

F, Cthulhu. Kill D&E.

>> No.2179818

>>2179813
Oh wow, money for books. Because it's so hard to obtain as much reading material as you could possibly want for free.

>> No.2179821

>>2179818
>implying getting ancient stuff isn't hard as shit

>> No.2179822

>>2179809
French is one of the easiest languages to learn. Why would you waste your wish on that

>> No.2179825

I don't want anything you have to offer, I just want D&E dead. Preferably by being castrated and dying of blood loss.

>> No.2179827
File: 132 KB, 600x600, english.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2179822
Well, maybe if you're from an English speaking country, because two thirds of the English vocabulary have a common root with French - pic related. But I think French must be hard for other foreigners because we have retarded genders and conjugation - well, not as retarded as German genders and declensions though.

>> No.2179830

>>2179825
What's the point of cutting 1 inch of useless skin?