/lit/ - Literature

>>21796841

>>21796841
it's diarrhea

>>21796841
I really really really like the main character in this one

>>21796841
Isn't this river clean enough to swim in it?

>>21797235
you first

"Saint" Patrick killed some guys horses and was forced to pay him back. He then went around telling people he used psychic mind powers to kill the horses, and he used his "powers" to make the guy sick, in order to force him to ignore what happened.

>>21796841
You can only celebrate this if you’re Catholic, otherwise you’re a phoney. Daily reminder.

>>21797281
A king was late to a meeting with "Saint" Patrick because of rain. Patrick used his Yahweh powers to curse him with infertility, and cursed his travels so they would always be rained on. The storm also destroyed his books, so he cursed the water so that fish could not live there.

>>21797281
>>21797285
What a based guy. Glory be to God!

>>21796841

Anyone got any tips for Irish satirism? I just can't seem to get it

>>21796841
>Sláinte, all ye lit sluts

>>21798541
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal

>>21796841
Is this the time to post this?

>>21799093
Gross

>>21799406
If you hated the bottom half, you'll love the top half.

>James Joyce

8 December 1909: 44 Fontenoy Street, Dublin

My sweet little whorish Nora,

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your cunt, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over me with a whore’s glow in your slumbrous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometime too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your hot drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s cunt. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your cunt is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.

Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.

JIM

>>21799093
>being Irish
>being racist

You are an oppressed minority. For most of history you would have been considered subhuman. There's a reason ginger and nigger rhyme.

>>21799425
>he deleted his post because he's an embarassed subhuman that realized he was not only wrong but also retarded
amadán breallach.

>>21797282
St. Patrick is venerated by the Orthodox and Anglicans too.

>>21796841
i was expecting to see muslim immigrants bathing in that river

>>21799419
Based

>>21797282
I'm Catholic and it's also my name day.

>>21799093
Found Keith Woods

>>21799413
>>21799093
Impressive, very nice

>>21796841
I wonder how much food coloring this takes.

The Green Book by Gaddafi
Reasons To Vote For Jill Stein by Laughlin
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss