/lit/ - Literature

Walking the mile and a half home, all she could think of was how much she hated the young, black boy in the hooded sweatshirt and oversized blue jeans. Her dad was going to be so angry enough at her for being so late, but the fact that she lost her bicycle would be more than the icing on the cake. It spelled out a very terrible night for Emma. She never stopped crying the whole way home.

Finally reaching the apartment that her single father shared with her, she stood in front of the door, tears running down her chin and making the front of her t-shirt wet. She hesitated. She reached for the knob but was terrified to open the door. For several minutes that seemed like an eternity, she stood there. She finally opened the door, but it wasn't because she worked up the courage. It was because she heard a familiar sound coming from inside. The clear sound of the cap being pulled off of the top of glass bottle than clattering on the wooden floor. Daddy was drinking, and the more he drank, the worse he was going to be. She wanted to get it over with before he got too drunk. She stepped into the apartment and saw her dad sitting in a wooden chair and facing the door. There were already several empty bottles sitting beside the chair and the little, metal caps from them scattered around the floor. He always let the caps fly wherever they wanted when he opened a bottle. She counted at least seven bottles before his booming voice made her look at him.

"Where the FUCK have you been?" He was already drunk.

"I...My bike...It got...It..." She couldn't complete a sentence. She was crying so hard and she was scared of what her dad was going to do.

"Goddamnit! I just fucking bought you that damn bike!"

"It...It wasn't my fault! A...boy-"

She didn't finish the sentence before her father stood up. He stood up slowly, way too calmly for how angry he surely was. He was a big man. Not in the way that every pre-adolescent's father is big. He was a big man. Standing at almost seven feet, with a linebacker's physique, he towered over the tiny child, frightening her more than even the devil himself could.

He walked to the door that his daughter left ajar and pushed it gently closed, making sure to turn the little knob that closed the deadbolt lock. Turning back toward her, he looked down at the pitiful girl. Her face was stained with tears and snot from her crying. He reached for the waistband of his jeans unbuttoning his belt and pulling it out of the loops in one swift motion. Grabbing her by the wrist with one hand, he held the hand with the belt in it high over his head.

He looked at Emma and let out a sigh. Wishing more than anything that the sperm that helped create her carried a 'Y' chromosome instead of an 'X', he swung his arm downwards, the belt making a small whistling as it came down toward Emma, his only child.

Bumparoo, this is good.

decent

>>2178915
>>2178940

Wow. I wasn't expecting any praise at all. I posted this because my girlfriend and best friend thought it was good and I wanted an unbiased opinion.

Thank you, anons. I believe you've encouraged me to write more.

It's compelling, but I'm not sure how much of that is anticipation for molestation and abuse. I am a sick man.

Keep going if you have more. I like it.

I think its fairly obvious the black kid needed to sell the bike for crack.

>>2178951
>It's compelling, but I'm not sure how much of that is anticipation for molestation and abuse. I am a sick man.

It's funny you should mention that. I actually considered ending it with Emma's father taking off his belt. That way, if you wanted, you can have her either beaten or molested. Or both. I thought that might have been to obvious what I was going for though. Would that have been a better ending?

>>2178956
>Keep going if you have more. I like it.

Thank you. There's not any more unfortunately. But I may expand it. I actually considered writing a whole series of short stories with the Nigger Bike Thief Champion as the link between them all. Maybe this positive reception will encourage me to do so.

Can you make him hold the belt in the middle and hit Emma with the buckle please.

>>2178963
lol.

Since you mention him, I'll mention that he's based on a real person. I saw a black kid riding with two bikes at once one day. One of them was a little girl's bike. It was pretty obvious they were stolen.

>>2178972

I'm a little worried about you. I love you, anon. But your enthusiasm to see a small child abused so harshly makes me think that you intend to masturbate to the story I've written.

If you wanna write some Nigger Bike Thief Champion fan-fiction where Emma is beaten harshly and molested or whatever you're into, you're welcome to do so. Just don't put my name on it.

>>2178984
Take away the helmet and that's basically the inspiration for the character.

You suck so much dick.

>>2178987
That took longer than I expected. However, being as this was /lit/, I was expecting the negative criticism to be more intelligent than that.

>>2178991
What's there to be intelligent about? You suck quite a lot of dick. That's a fact.

>>2178987
>>2178992
0/10

And you suck at trolling. Thank you.

Look, you give the reader no time to revel in Emma's suffering. We feel her terror for a minute, but then once the beating commences the story just ends. I want to wash myself in her tears, dance in her pain, and truly feel her helplessness. A giant fucking linebacker is overpowering a little girl and beating her ass with a belt.

Maybe talk about the nigger thief a little more. Right now he just laughs and rides away. Maybe you could start with how proud Emma is of her bike, how her family is poor and it's her favorite thing. Then, describe this slovenly negroid taking it from her. I imagine Emma coming out, seeing the nigger breaking the chain, and pathetically trying to stop him. The nigger slaps Emma to the ground, then laughs as he rides off with the bike. Now the reader really feels disgusted with the negroid, because he took what Emma loved most and set her up to be abused.

And as for the dad, he seems lifeless. Like a giant construct meant only to inflict suffering. Why is he so horrible and evil? I get a bit of a feeling that he likes to exert power over weaker people. Expound on that.

>>2179007
Oh and I think the key to the negroid character is that he imagines himself to be far more then he is. His enormous ego contrasts with the fact that he is poor, smelly, stupid, and ugly. Nothing riles people up like those who don't know their place.

>>2178968
Ending it there is actually a rather fantastic idea.
And a group of stories would be pretty sweet.
I'd read it.
>>2178956
This is me, by the way.

>>2178982
If you insist:

"Daddy no" begged Emma as the belt cracked down on the sexy smooth skin of her arm. She fell to her knees sobbing, knowing it was only going to get worse from here, finally realizing why most people hate niggers. Daddy lifted the belt again and staggered slightly, she hadn't seen him this drunk since that midget hooker stole the television.

"Pull down your pants you little shit" His hoarse voice spat the vicious words. The same words Mommy had heard before Daddy had to hid her under the patio.

"Please daddy" Started Emma. It was no use. She hadn't even got her cute little pants down before the belt caught the side of her face, the buckle ripping into her delicate little cheek like a fish hook.

Emma stood up and ran to the kitchen, thick blood trickling down the side of her face, warm urine running down her leg.

>>2179007
Fuck. I was praying for this. Thank you so much.

Really, the story was an assignment that I gave myself (and my friend and girlfriend) that involved writing a story in a short frame of time. I'm not making excuses. It's not perfect and I know that. And thanks to you, I know how to expand it and make it better.

As for the N.B.T.C., I didn't want to go too much into detail about him. But I like the idea about going into more detail about Emma and possibly her dad. But you're right. Her dad really is basically just there to fuck her day up. It's kind of emotionally manipulative, but that's what I was going for. This was kind of a throwaway story, but I think I'll take your (and anybody's else's) criticism and expand and improve it. Then add more stories. Maybe if they're good enough release it as a chapbook or something. That would do a lot for my self-esteem.

I'll definitely go into more detail about Emma and her dad. Thank you again.

>>2179013
Unfortunately, the warm, wet pants around her knees slowed her movement to a shuffle. Her dad overtook her in an instant, and grabbed her by the neck. Emma's body tensed and her arms drew spastically to her chest. Her father walked her over the the chair and sat down. His tight grip on her neck was hurting her. He forced her over his lap, with her bare ass sticking up in the air. Without relinquishing his grasp on her neck, he brought the belt whistling down upon her. The clasp ripped through her tender pale flesh. Again he brought down the belt. Emma's face was contorted into a silent scream. The pain was too much to even allow her to cry.

Finally her father threw the belt down, and Emma felt relief as she heard it hit the ground. But then, she felt a searing slap against her shredded flesh. Instead of retracting, the burly hand began exploring.

Gotta go eat some steak. If this is still alive later, I'll reply more.

Thanks again, people.

I've just cum!

>>2179029

He grinned with pleasure as his probing fingers, lubricated with blood, parted the soft labia of her delicate little pussy. He inserted his middle finger and groaned with pleasure when he felt how warm and tight she was. lifting his hand to his mouth he sucked his huge sausage fingers, rubbing the sweet copper taste of her bloody juices all round his mouth. The excitement was really getting to him now, he was hard as rock. With one swift move he brought his hand down and forced three fingers up her tight anus. Emma screamed in pain. Daddy stood up and lifted her off the ground using only the fingers inside of her.

>>2179070
Hahaha, your perspective doesn't work.

If you want to pull this off properly, describe his bodily reactions as well, don't just treat the girl's nethers like someone who has a biology book at home, do the same with his squishies.

>>2179083
Whats wrong with his perspective?

>>2179172
>he was hard as rock
v.
>parted the soft labia of her delicate little pussy

If you don't see it, die in a chemical fire, you scrub.

>>2179176
Omniscient third person?

>>2179188
The father character is flat, uninteresting.

Don't just treat the victim in some teenaged bullshit anatomy lesson, do the same to the perp as well.
That makes it far more interesting to read (or maybe some folks prefer the bdsm comics)

>>2178984
lolololololololollllllllllllll

jesuschrist, /lit/ and 4chan in general will never cease to amaze me

OP is a fat, racist shitflap.

>>2179239
>nigger detected

hey faggots

you want to read my shit too? it's not as retarded, but its a little bit retarded

What the fuck happened to my thread?
I'm not going to address the loli rape, but this:
>>2179239
is funny because I'm actually black.

>>2179461

Stupid, like racist and other derogatory adjectives come in a rainbow of colours.

>>2179363

>yeah man! go on! post it! :)


“Oh, I was recently a patient there, that’s all.” She smiled. “Elbow stitches.”


John winced. He recalled of his first stitching. It had been not long after a party, where, alone in the corner, he had been standing next to the DJ – a feeble attempt to draw female attraction – when a nearby dancer had popped a wine cork, one lined at the rim with metal. The cork had shot out, and then found itself lodged between John’s eyes. The laughter of those proximal ensued. In desperation to save face, John had yanked it straight back out – unleashing upon them a torrent of blood.
Joanne had come to visit him at the hospital. Johns neighbouring patient was suffering from fierce diarrhoea. A morbid thing, but one that reminded him of a sickly workmate from a week prior, one caught in the more unfortunate location of an office cubicle. The memory had struck as Joanne sat on his bed, sending him into hysterics, popping the stitches right off and unleashing the flood once more.


“So, what do you do?”


His eyes flicked up.


“Hmm?”


“Like, for a job.” John shuddered. That was a disconcerting thought. He desperately tried to contrive an answer – but found nothing. What could he say! Shame consumed him. “Nothing steady. But I work alone.” His face burned. He had already forgotten what he’d said. The confusion consumed him, leaving his body unable to move at all, with exception of the twitch in his left eye.


Joanne, however, beamed – and swooned before him. What a man, what a mystery! The reserved nature, his reckless aesthetics, the disregard for arbitrary movement - it was like a book! - With her the nubile dame, and John her dark eyed courter.

sorry i shouldnt have posted that im high and didnt think before acting

id delete it now but i want everyone to see ive apologised first

>>2179488
And thus, my thread is dead.