/lit/ - Literature

This girl's voice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7pyEKLJJX8

>>21735943
the "I was molested" voice

>>21735953
Wow, you suck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFZhFAZd-pE

>>21735963
Not as much as she sucked her uncles dick lmao

>>21735936
OP is from this book fyi

>>21735943
I fucking hate children. Untested precocity disgusts me.

I'm depressed

I think Islam might win, and I'm okay with that. I'm kinda keen for our bright, new sharia-modernity.
Hopefully the caliphs will just have atheists put in labor camps and we can have a new slavery.

>>21735993
Based and redpilled.

Listen lady, you are in your 50's, overweight, and visibly suffering from some physical disability. You aren't going to be able to stop me from stealing these boots, but I admire your tenacity. You need more tact. I don't appreciate being treated like a boot stealing nigger.

Coming to realize that my friendships really arent all that great. Actually, I think they were more imagined than real. I keep finding myself alone and ignored. I need to branch out, but I'm not really sure how. I dont want to stay in all weekend, drinking alone, again.

https://youtu.be/SQpOtdZdnPQ

>>21736102
cope

I made so much rice and potato, my guts is forming a solid brick of shit. It will come out looking like a massive gold bar but brown like shit.

India is so ahead of the west that the west thinks it's actually winning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnIh1QNTfMg

>>21736053
Me too. What are you depressed about?

>>21735936
Eh philosophy is all a bunch of bullshit. Untested insight and virtue is useless, even dangerous, and the only insight and virtue found in philosophy is the untested type.

>>21736263
My life

>>21736282
Anything in particular regarding your life?

>>21735936
I hate when girls smile at me because I know they're conditioned to do so as girls, but they're forcing me to smile back which I don't due to an ugly smile, not wanting to shake myself, and made to look rude for not doing such an unnecessary interaction.

>>21736286
I had a lot of opportunities available to me but I was a weird sperg so I ended up a shut in loser with no future. So it breaks down into a few points
>Future is bleak, not much to hope for
>present is dull, I have no options
>choices I made out of high school doomed me to this
>family conditions I was raised in were fucked up, leaving me no foundation to make good choices
So at every stage of my life I see something to regret or be bitter about. I guess I'm just depressed that the social filter spit me out and left me a hopeless outsider.

>>21736300
I thought you were describing me because I could relate to all of this. Do we have a chance?

>>21736309
I like to think so but it's not as if I'd enjoy thinking the alternative.

>>21736297
You’re overthinking this. They’re just being pleasant and it’s good to be pleasant back. It isn’t unnecessary to be pleasant.
Don’t be hard on yourself for being ugly. Don’t even know if this is true, but it doesn’t matter when exchanging mere pleasantries.
Get your head out of your autistic ass and stop trying to make yourself wretched.

>>21736318
What do you think is the alternative? I wish I could be weird enough to pull the eccentric mode but Im not.

>>21736322
The alternative is that I stew in limbo unto death, at which point I can only hope theres an afterlife in which I'm not a spazz

>>21736320
I can't really smile back because I have a very small mouth and weak muscles from never smiling. I have to try really hard to smile which would scare the girl if I did.

>>21736329
Star smilemaxxing.
5 sets 10 reps of wide smiles everyday.

>>21736329
Ive noticed thing where when I smile even though my cheek muscles take the form of a smile my lips are still in a frown

>>21736329
Your ship is here.

>>21735936
It's interesting how time shifts perception of subversive characters. Once enough time elapses that there is no longer any political risk, all kinds of criminals, terrorists, and revolutionaries are romanticized.
Just look at the popularity on Netflix of true crime shows and documentaries like "How to be a Dictator". Then there are popular semi-mythological figures like Rasputin--the image of a charming brute, above morality and expressing the hidden desires of the people, is universally fascinating to people. These kinds of mythological portraits and media allow people to indulge in the power fantasy of being a dangerous, powerful figure with none of the risk.
Yet any actual contemporary revolutionary figure is nothing more than a terrorist. Once a few decades pass then the terrorist get the honors of a Netflix biopic.

>>21736384
Ah, so soon netflix will be making documentaries about me, the anonymous shitposter who dared to say nigger

Uh oh. 40+ shitposts still up, but the moderator has to take down a thread for lesbianism

What does it mean bros

>>21736437
Man’s world again. Congrats. Winning more sports competitions despite their being separated by sex, get to rape female prisoners, film women in their own restrooms. Etc.

>>21736452
No, I meant for anorexia. Anorexic women are sexy. Are they all gonna troon out?

>missed it all and I cant go back to the past to experience it.
how to cope?

>>21735936
It's suicidal hurt
The way we walk around
Dark creatures of the night

>>21735936
Thick air and the stench of sulfur perpetuated themselves through the thin caverns and tunnels that ran under the valley. Pure humidity could be seen steaming from the various vents, and at others grass bending as air was sucked in and breathed out, as if it were some kind of enormous lung. The thin tunnels dripped with condensation, and boiled with a heat too hot for any man to crawl through, making them utterly impassable, save for their scaled inhabitants.

Just one more training block after this one and I should be able to deadlift 405.

>>21736527
Thats about one block from being able to carry your mom to my bedroom

in such a foul mood. Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhsdashduaisdh FUCK off fuck niggers

>>21736384
That's because all of those characters (contemporary ones included) are a part of the same grand didactic tale. Past revolutionaries and subversives are either the forerunners of the Current Great System or the lurking shadow of the Current Evil that the defenders of the Great System always need to watch out for.

The sole difference between a terrorist and a Great Liberator of the Peoples is whether that person suceeded or failed. Everything else is ideology.

I have been flatlining for over a month

Time is of the essence.

Why do you think aliens tried to invade us 2-3 weeks ago? I'll give you a hint: They were searching for time machines in our universe.

Just consider that. That's how valuable your time is.

I have a strong feeling that the small percentage of 4channers that actually have been in a relationship with a woman before, have also been traumatically cucked by a woman as well. This is why they are here.

>>21735695
I change, but I only seem to change in opposition to the world. I tried reconnecting with her, but she was very obviously over me even if she wouldn't say it. We used to have more common artistic and cultural interests, now she wants to make more money. There's nothing between us anymore, I see why you don't stay friends with your exes. We have too much past to be "just friends" and we have too little future to be anything. We're nothing. I tried meeting other people, but nothing really felt right. Ironically, she hasn't been in a serious relationship either since we broke up. She told me once she finds all other men boring after she's been with me, but that was years ago. We're both in our 30s now.

>>21736674
What the hell does that have to do with aliens?

>>21736675
Not the anon you were responding to
>We have too much past to be "just friends" and we have too little future to be anything. We're nothing. I tried meeting other people, but nothing really felt right.
I'm still living this situation, two years after she left. Shit just sucks and nothing feels right with anyone. I've been waiting for time to mend my wounds, but I'll probably end up miserable in my thirties like you. I run from any woman attracted to me now because I don't see the point in having relationships anymore, in fact I've tried to force it, but it's always doomed from the beginning. I can't close my eyes, pretend life is so much fun with a woman I don't love and waste years of someone's life like she wasted mine. Life was so much more vibrant when she was around. I miss that dumb idiot so goddamn much.

>>21736674
doesn't apply for me thankfully but i have cucked others. i havent been with someone in like 7 years at this point tho so i guess im a virgin again. crazy how easy it is in your earlier years tho

I lost my virginity recently, at an age when I thought it was all over and never happen. She is younger than myself, very smart and all of her first times were with me. I die from happiness every day ever since I met her.

There's an intimate scene with her burned into my mind. We came to my apartment late, she had to go home soon, we had to time to properly make love, I undressed her only half-way and discovered something better than sex by coincidence. I laid her on the side, grabbed the back of her head with both arms to hold it in place. She has gorgeous, silky dark hair I ran my fingers through while massaging her scalp. Then I just began kissing her neck, all over. Nonstop. Must have been a hundred or so kisses. Turns out she had a fetish for just that. She began to writhe in my arms and moan, not in the loud vulgar way you hear in porn, just adorable, tiny, high strung sounds. She was literally wringing from pleasure and joy, I held her in place, continuing. Her neck was wonderfully delicate and tasted a bit sweet from sweat. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. No idea for how long. Maybe 10 minutes. Maybe half an hour. It felt like an eternity, because everything else seemed worthless.

Why do I write this? Partially, because I know well there are many people here that'll never experience something like this. And I wonder how they can believe in God, or a just world, or anything except despair, really. I wonder why fate denied me this experience for most of my existence, only to give it to me for a brief time. I wonder how long that time will still be and what I will do with my life afterwards.

>>21736815
based and cute

My hemorrhoids are very itchy, and I'm about to go and wash them. My constipation has not lifted. Although I shat out three rocks the size of fists three days ago, and another rock yesterday, there are more rocks stuck in my ass and all the way up my colon. Occasionally, when I cramp, it feels like I have a yard-long metal rod stuck inside me. Knowing that it is 25 pounds of fecal matter pressed and compacted to the point of stone-like hardness gives me great anguish.
It is a dreadful dilemma. The pain of shitting right now would be immeasurable, but the longer I wait and give my ass and rectum time to heal the more compacted and painful the rock of shit will be.
Are any of you familiar with any myths or tales that speak to the same sort of dilemma?

And I mean, for real, it is rocks. It plomps the toilet water and pings the porcelain exactly as if I threw a stone at it. It sinks immediately and clogs the toilet, and I have to cut it apart with a knife - it does not so much cut as it crumbles with enough force.

Enjoy your youths anon - after 27, it goes downhill very, very fast. Your body was never designed for pleasant longevity. For 20.000 generations humans bred at age 15 and died at age 30.

>>21736835
actually its suicide fuel

>>21736815
To all the incels reading along, he is toying with ya. Sex is nice but the novelty wears off fast, and as is evident from this post, the majority of his joy (as proven by this essay he has written) comes from the narcissism of no longer being an incel, and hence, better than the other losers on a Nepalese flute forum.

>>21736856
Why is this board full of incels, even outside of r9k, in absolutely nonrelated boards. I thought they are a tiny statistical minority.

>>21736815
>>21736856
Yeah you are right bro never experiencing love, intimacy and sex in life is no big deal even though we are programmed to see it as our main purpose. But let’s just ignore it and okay vidya haha xD amirite who needs the tender touch of a loving girl.

Man I feel like roping sometimes.

>>21736849
you'll get over it

>>21736815
At least let me drink my coffee first junior

>>21736674
>have also been traumatically cucked by a woman as well
this happens to everyone who's been with a woman

>>21736916
Men are twice as likely to cheat as women in marriage.

>>21736932
well I wasn't married

>>21736815
Whats your age?
also its nice being lucky.

>>21736815
That's cool and all but unfortunately I suffer from premature ejaculation.

>>21736131
Holy fuck. I unironically feel sorry for anyone who takes this shit seriously.
It's funny though.

>>21736131
This dude has fucked so many smelly white hippie chicks on backpacking trips to find their spirituality. Just look at that smile.

>All female tubers (I don't know why I do this) only ever read modern fantasy garbage
Incredible thank you

I’m going to quit my job, move to a new city, and do nothing but write for a year.

>>21736968
>I suffer from premature ejaculation.
just buy numbing sprays

Listening to some of my favorite tracks in my teenage years and while I find it juvenile I like the energy

Too often people equate hiking and "adventure" when you're basically walking a discovered path from A to B. We all know the chances of you getting into trouble are quite slim even practically zero. I don't have a problem with hikers but to say that walking an established route is adventurous is so lame. It's adventure in the most naff sense of the word. Equivalent to those middle class people who hang around poors to feel risky. It's fucking boring to listen to every second persons hiking through India and or south America story

>>21736998
god i want to choke leonie and watch her face turn red while fucking her missionary so bad bros.......

OOOOOOH I REALLY WANT A CIGARETTE

>>21737037
Chill out

i do not feel like working today

>>21737055
Xi do you ever want to just run away and like fuck off to Mongolia or somewhere. I want to do that every single day of my life. I reckon the only reason I don't is because my parents would worry.

>>21735936
Brother is going through a divorce.

Feel bad for the kids, 8, 6 and 3.

They already seem behind in school to begin with. 6 year old cant even say the alphabet without mistakes (due to rushing/guessing) and can't even count to 20.

3 year old seems to have attention span and brain fried from phone/iPad. In fact all of them seem like that. 3 year old seems malnourished and doesn't seem to want to eat anything besides plain rice or pasta. Most likely cos their mother was just lazy to try anything else and they don't seem to have anything besides sweets and packaged snacks in their pantry. I really don't understand whats going on in their household seeing she hasn't worked a day since being married yet the kids seem so far behind and like bare minimum effort put into them

I feel so bad and worry a lot over them even though I know at the end of the day it's not my problem.

What do?

>>21737110
Why divorce?

>>21737110
>6 year old cant even say the alphabet without mistakes
I can't do it either and I'm 23.

>>21737048
ive never been more relaxed

>>21737127
>these are the people talking about culture on /lit/

>>21737132
Yeah, you got a problem with that?

>>21737068
yeah but not Mongolia

>>21737121
Tbh I think she is bipolar or BPD or something (found seemingly related meds, in fact when I googled one of them it said it was for schizophrenia).

I feel like my brother works so hard and she just wastes the money on who knows what. Seems to get everything she wants when she wants it then apparently she's the one that asks for a divorce lol.

Shes very frivolous in spending and very lazy despite getting to be a stay at home wife. Priorities are all wrong and twisted and like I said, a lot fo spending habits are so bizarre. It's like every task she does has to come with some sort of purchase. Don't see her often but she looks like she even has had lip injections. Like what precident does that set for the daughter? It's sad.

She's like the very definition of a bot and I swear I think social media has warped her expectations of life. It's like she sees somehting on social media then gets it in her head about a product or somehting and she jsut has to get it. Eg. Brother and kids came over one week, and the kids were excited saying they were getting a dog the following week. Out of the blue after not even mentioning it the previous week. Warned not to get tit as they aren't ready for a dog and would get bored of it after a week. Brother in a defeated way says he kept saying that etc. Then guess what, they got the dog and everything else ethat came with it only to sell it like 2 or 3 months later.

It's like these things are done without any real planning or anything. And I sure eone of her cousins or friends must've gotten a dog which is why she had it in her head to get one too. Even though last pet her and my bro got together when they were just dating jsut died and they barely looked after it.

Just makes you think if this is how she is with pets, how is she really with the kids? I honestly feel they don't eat right or just eat sweets and junk and bare minimum is put into them

>>21737165
she sounds like a complete dreg and he'd do well to be away from her. hope your brother gets out of the marriage without getting totally divorceraped and can still have a relationship with the kids, eventually putting them on the right path. people are fucked sometimes

The worst part of a job is jumping when your boss says jump. No self respecting person would put up with this for this pay. The sort of man I wish I was never would have put up with this at all. How am I nearly thirty years old and still this much of a loser? How do I have no big wins in my life yet?

>>21736755
I'm not miserable nor am I hopeless. I do think things will turn out well eventually, but not right now. Right now it's a lonely period, so I'm coping with the pain. I'm sure I'll meet someone else eventually, but not in the near future. Don't despair, just keep on going and grow.

>>21737165
Oh and did I forget to mention. That I had helped them out with nearly $50k over the years during their relationship. Never expected payment back cos he's my bro but then during that time there is just all this other spending on unnecessary shit

Even last year they asked for help with a surgery she had (abdo stitching or some sort of damage from childbirth, but now I'm thinking or wouldn't surprise me if it was probably a tummy tuck lapband or some other shortcut attempt to lose weight). But yeah this surgery cost $5k: shortly after all of a sudden she spends money on a Nintendo switch for my nephews bday, got the backyard redone (I think this was more so when they split it would help sell the house), the dog, which ended up digging at the fixed backyard. Designer LV handbags, not just for her but for my mum too on her bday. Then out of the blue they planned an overseas trip (but my brother wanted this too, just as one final family trip before they split)

But here's the thing. They somehow scrounged some money aside for the trip but a week before the trip my brother came over out of the blue to stay with me cos they must've had a huge fight or he was fuming. He started opening up a bit all angry saying that she had somehow spent all the money they had set aside for the trip. Like what the actual fuck. Then he was venting how she doesn't know how to budget, how he's nearly 40 and has nothing to show for it and how he wants his life back. It was pretty sad to see. She doesn't want to sell the house but he told her if they split he's not paying both child support and the house and that they're supposed to pay me back

Tbh I think he knows he should be paying me back and feels ashamed that he hasnt. Ive never pressured him or anything but I don't get how his wife doesn't seem to feel any guilt or shame over it. Like ffs when I first helped him out I didn't give af but it definitely stung that a year or 2 later they purchased a new SUV before even thinking to pay me back. Then after that they got the floors redone in their house for no reason. Sounded like it was all her idea to. Then now shortly after I helped with the surgery she made all those weird purchases?

Like how demanding was she throughout their marriage and why TF can't he say no? Doesn't she threaten suicide or somehting everytime and he jsut give sin to get a little bit of peace? Idgi

>tfw Cormac Mccarthy will never make a Blood Meridian-esque book about Edward Low

Piratechads, its not fair

>>21737110
Unfortunately there’s not a lot you can do besides visit and stock the kitchen with real food and do some tutoring. Maybe you can make it so that the oldest can make sure they sit down and study and make some food for the others. Turn it into a game or something. “Show uncle what you made this week” sort of thing.

>>21736755
One thing that hurts is talking to a cute woman who shows interest while knowing there will never be anything between us. Feels like my smile is full of resignation while hers is full of optimism. Seeing her hope while knowing it's deluded just makes it worse. I also stopped thinking about relationships, I'm so orthogonal to everyone else, I can only sense endless distance.

>>21737036
What do you think of the Pacific Crest thruhike?

>>21737055
What kind of job do you have. Also hello you are always here

Hey now, lets all just relax for a second. Everyone take it easy. Calm down

>>21736968
Kratom or 50 mg of tramadol.
Or just three stiff drinks of whisky if you're a fag.
Voila. No more PE.

>>21737181
That's the thing. I honestly don't even think they're safe with her. They'll just get neglected or get taken advantage of by others etc

If I was married with a solid wife I'd honestly want to adopt them myself. It's so sad, my brother gave up so much for her, converted to Muslim for her, doesn't have a relationship with my sister over her (desu my sister is a bit of an islamaphobe and things came out worng when she was mad and took it out on my bro, but as years went on maybe she was right), and now it's like he has sacrificed his own kids anymore.

It was so crazy hearing him say he doesn't care what happens to the kids, when our mother asked what will happen to them if they split. It's like he was going out of his mind for a split second. Makes me wonder how bad shit is.

>>21737246
Dude my parents have been helping them with groceries ever since the kids were born. Wouldnt even surprise me if half the shit them give them just goes to waste or is not even getting used. Even one time my parent sgsve them a whole bunch of meat . Then she ended up going somewhere else after rsnd it went bad in the car from sitting in the heat . Like if you knew you were going somewhere then why tf did you take it and not just say you'll pick it up on the way home or another time.

Idgi with her. She is just so wasteful. Heck the kids always seem to be in new clothes that it makes me wonder if she just buys new clothes cos she's to lazy to ways them. She doesn't even wash them before wear as they have that new shop smell

>>21736277

>>21737280
This crazy wasteful bitch of a whore should be killed. Imagine the amount of your brother's money she has spent in waste while not doing the bare minimum of wife duties. If the kids end up with her they are going to get murdered by her new boyfriends after divorce / molested / malnourished and what not. Please look over the kids uncleAnon, perhaps you might think its not your problem to deal with but those are three entire lives in stake here

Oh, two weeks passed, and I have gotten zero notifications, messages.

>>21737398
(You)

Just checking in

>>21737402
Thanks.

>>21737415
:) feel better friend

The numbing darkness takes over everything. I put my dick in a blender just to feel something. With my mangled dick I watch rap videos at the mall while wondering why I feel bad.

Ok /lit/ I am putting in my two weeks notice.

The rising sun lit the vista before me. the old forest split by a perfect flowing river brought me to tears. It was the perfect location for a rap video or a mall.

I’m so drunk from clubbing / bar hopping and traveling the world but I have to work now and my boss is cool with it. He’s the best I’ve ever had. I honestly do well with my work though, so I don’t think he’d be cool with it if I was doing a bad job. God damn everyone outside the US is better than the people inside the US. US people are lower quality people desu. Maybe we’re too self absorbed I don’t know the social science behind it.

>>21737277
developer and yes the tab is usually open

>>21737627
Sounds like a comfy job why do you not like it

>>21737666
i wouldnt say i hate it but, working from home is pretty unhealthy and i dont have any colleagues or anything, my boss calls me every 2 days and thats my only interaction with a coworkers. i end up procrastinating and not doing as much as i can. my boss doesn't know this. i work 8 hours a day but probably only do 4 hours of work
the kid in me likes that i can just dick around and get payed to barely work but the adult in me understands that this is unhealthy work ethic. hopefully i can be doing something more serious in the near future because it would definitely be better for my work ethic

I'll install oblivion just because of nostalgia

>my visage when i realise the good times are coming back again
>my visage when the doomposters will be eternally btfo
>mon visage quand we all finna make it senpai

>>21737854
I'm in the opposite situation, I'm about to receive the biggest ass fucking of my entire life so far.

>>21737729
I hope you realize that four actual hours of work is on the high end for any job. Your boss doesn't notice because you're likely doing more than several other people combined.

I live inside my dreams more than I do "irl".
It got up to the degree where downloading copious amounts of books and imagining I'll read them soon brings me happiness and I already start perceiving myself as well-read while I'm only well-downloaded.

I think I can't complain about being single while I've friendzoned three girls in the past year and fucked it up with a girl I wanted by being boring.

>>21737872
i got my personal GOAT assfucking from life about 18 months so it may be the butthurt declining which leads me to believe it's good times ahead, or perhaps i am a schizo, or perhaps even. . . i am right

I just remembered my technologically illiterate boomer parents had a good-natured fight about which one of them was better at operating a computer, and they tried to one up each other with how many and how big documents/songs/videos they had downloaded. My dad would say he had downloaded an entire album of boomer rock music, proving he was very good at computers, and then my mom would say she had downloaded way more when she downloaded Downton Abbey, so she was better at computers.
I think it was pretty cute. They were together for 38 years until my dad died. They were together longer than I have been alive. Its so strange to think about. I miss him a lot, but with time, remembering stuff like this has sweetness as well, not only sting.

>>21738204
What a beautiful marriage. That's very rare these days. Not only were they lucky, they added love and joy to the world, not least by creating you and raising you in a healthy happy stable environment (something that is even rarer these days). There are probably infinite subtle ripples and echoes of your dad's greatness as a person emanating from you at all times, in the way you treat others, in the way you resist falling into despair (which in turn doesn't drag other people down but lifts them up, sets an example for them, etc., causing further ripples). Look at all the good you can do in the world without even realizing, by being just plain nice and sweet like your parents.

If you really want to make him proud, pass the same gift on to your kids and keep the cycle going. Every kid raised with a healthy core is "worth" a thousand people damaged by abuse and neglect, and will probably save (or contribute to saving) dozens or hundreds of troubled people in their life just by virtue of the surplus of health and joy they have. They're like force multipliers.

Does the bitterness at being an incel ever go away?

>>21738307
You can lead a horse to water…
meaning it is up to you to stop feeling this way. It doesn’t magically go away. Though there are physical things to do that will help. Eating healthy and exercising, getting into good habits of sociability etc.
and throw out the damn blowjacks

>>21738258
That's really beautiful anon, thank you
made me shed a little tear actually

I’m interested in going to law school but I feel like I’m somehow setting myself back in doing so. I’m well past the stage of career where it would be appropriate.

>>21738307
depends, I think it only gets worse. I exercise and eat healthy lol, before I was hopeless and depressed, now I'm just hateful and bitter

all the niggers on reddit love AI to bits and think that AI is a gift from heaven that's "taking the power" away from "the man", like overnight artists are now "the man" instead of broke losers. Like one day it's yeah you're an artist man you're broke but it's for LE ART it's always been like this then AI comes out and artsts are "the man". I genuinely fucking hate normalniggers so fucking much with every atom of my being

>>21738307
Read posts lieke these
>>21736815
Then you'll rope and the bitterness will go away.

God the posts here sometimes irritate me but witnessing the bootlicking of AI by nigger redditors is something else
this is how normalcancer thinks, holy shit, what's coming isn't enough, not even China style dictatorship is enough. I really hope all these people suffer immensely in the void they're creating
I will never fucking post any of my work again. Fucking normalniggers

>>21738258
>tfw never had a chance to become a person with healthy core

>>21738370
Ah got your body chemistry all right in order did we?
Still not drinking the water though. lol

I have a 1000 page paper due on Tuesday on Beowulf or Chaucer I seriously regret being an English major. "Wow you are such a strong writer be an English major!" I'm a senior now in college and I'm gonna be homeless after graduation

>>21738639
1000 pages? Isn't that tens of thousands of words?!
I achieved a bachelors in history and the final dissertation was 15,000 words.
If not a typo then that is insanity.

>>21738656
Yeah seems fine at first glace, but I just do not care about Chaucer. It doesn't help that the professor tries to make it cool to the freshies by saying "ah! look, they had SEX in medieval times too! haha so relatable!"

Had a dream where i was at a fetish party and me and the girl I was most attracted to entangled. She then turned into my gf from high school and groped each other and talked about our lives since high school.

I want to know what the average person feels like in a day. I want to be clear that my suffering is more or less self-imposed, I just want to know if there is 'something else,' that helps normies go through life. I'm not really sure what I want. I suppose that if I were the only person on earth I could easily live in a sort of state of mindless survival. In a way, that seems enjoyable.
The real issue (with survival) is my obligation to society; firstly, to pay tax, to work, or if I live in a state park, to go to jail when I am caught, and secondly, to contribute to the greater good. What I mean in the last case is that, and it may seem as though I'm exaggerating, witnessing or in any way cognizing the intense suffering of other people causes me anguish. I don't feel like I have an 'unfortunate obligation' to help people, I simply cannot in any way excuse not doing so. This, I suppose, could be considered a selfish aim; reducing the suffering of other people reduces mine, I guess that means it is physically impossible for me to be selfless.
I'm just ranting. I guess I just want to know what makes everything "click" for normal people. Do I simply have far greater expectations than a normal person, or is there something missing in my brain (or soul) that leaves me with a less full experience of life?

>>21738662
there's nothing more simultaneously elating and depressing than the ol' highschool ex gf dream

How do I get out of writing an exam, bros? I'm exhausted, not prepared and in a depressive slump.

>>21738690
can you ask for an extension due to poor mental health or some shit? surely all these pozzed institutions would buy that these days

>>21738693
It's probably too late. The exam is in 3 hours.

>>21738702
god speed, anon

Health is shit, constant pain, family life is shit, family health is shit, no job, no future, cost of living is unsustainable, money is gone, internet is unbearable trash, entertainment is only porn and propaganda, everything is hollow and evil, people have become insular, I lost my ability to love and trust, lost my ability to believe in anything
I honestly don't know what to do. I wish so much that I could give into a religion but I can't believe
I don't want to kill myself but I can't imagine things getting any better and life has become too unbearable to just drift
It will destroy my family but I'm at the end of my rope

> I have to pretend that reading theater of the XVI and chants of 3000 years ago is something unavoidable, even tough they are completely out of their context.
> Knowing mythology for me is the same than knowing what are cigarettes, communiting and the television for a greek slave.
> He would pretend liking sex and the city and I would have to pretend thinking Lysistrata is a huge deal.
> Dostoyevsky would have hated the Ullyses and the rainbow shit, and yet here I am a pleb for not liking it.

The greeks would have preferred reading Harry Potter or LOTR than anything else this century created.

>>21737325
I know, it's unsustainable. My brother is frustrated. He has given up all his stocks etc, every promotion or bonus he gets just disappears. It's absolute insanity and even everytime they go to the store it's like the kids always get a new toy of some sorts even though once they open it, they're back on the iPads. So it's really reflecting on the kids. They literally go through cycles of getting rid of stuff through hard rubbish collections. Then next minute they're piling up with junk again.

And yeah because they're only half arab, if they go with her side, their community might view them as not really being one of them and mistreat them.

Suppsoedly she even suggested she will just go back to dad like she doesn't even want the kids anymore which made my brother annoyed saying the kids need their mother and he can't look after them if he's working all day. Like what the heck.

She's currently doing a course to be a teaching aide so she works again when they fully split but if she can barely cope now despite being stay at home, how TF is she supposed to to cope with a job and looking after the kids. I mean she wanted this right? Including the split.

Makes me wonder wtf is going on. Fun y thing is I get alone with her and never had personal issues and she was always the more reserved quiet type but things must be very volatile at home.

She also doesn't seem to appreciate her thing. Shes the only one I know who has constantly cracked phones, laptops etc. Their bedroom bathroom was so filthy just after a year or 2 of marriage in a new house. Parents went there to help look after the kid while she had some health issue and decided to clean it.

It's like their solution to things is instead of maintaining and looking after stuff, it's to just buy a new one. Even when I helped bring over a recliner chair into the house for post surgery comfort. Their bedroom carpet was so filthy. Like why TF do you guys and the kids eat in there. And the kids are so messy when they eat compared to my sister's kids.

>>21738764
Thank you

Ex gf just sent me well I wonder by the smiths. What did she mean by that?

I'm retarded but pretty so people have always been nice and lenient with me. I've had a very comfortable life that I did nothing to earn.

>>21738868
That she's a whore

I just made a calculation that I eat roughly 36.5 kilograms of grana padano cheese a year. The annual production of this cheese is 76724 tons. That means I eat 0.00004% of the grana padano that the world produces.
I just really like grana padano desu.

>>21738868
desperate for attention and wants to know that you're still hung up on her. do not satisfy this want or you will be permacucked.

>>21738873
oh hey Hasan

>>21738868
If you could see with metaphysical clairvoyance right now you sould see her daimon reaching out across the astral plane with an astral leash on a big astral dog collar. She cannot collar you herself, that's against the rules. But you can collar yourself by submitting to this shit test. Even if you subsequently tell her off or never talk to her again, she will spend the next 20 years thinking about how she still fundamentally owns you. When she later hears that you got married and had kids, she'll privately feel an astral frisson in her astral clitoris at the thought that she leashed you before you settled for your current wife, and if she had showed up on the wedding day and said "I wonder, by The Smiths" just as you were about to say "I do," you would have punched your now wife in the face and bowed down at your ex gf's feet.

You must resist this temptation. There is no winning move once you have put the collar on. Either ignore her completely or summon up the most iron will imaginable and interact with her the way you would interact with an old male acquaintance you don't really want to talk to at all anymore, but to whom you are willing to be polite for the brief time it takes to "catch up." If you do anything more than this, she will keep conversation going and leave the floor open for you to reminisce and re-bond with her (cuck yourself) until there is a natural imbalance in the conversation as you have momentarily volunteered more than she has in anticipation of her continuing to volunteer things, and then she will stop volunteering, leaving you forever her bitch. Then if you're like most men you'll go "hey haha you still there???? hey??? i thought we were talking about our funny inside jokes from that summer in 2017?????" like an even littler bitch and she will basically be shitting down your throat on the astral plane for all eternity. For ten thousand reincarnation cycles you will be her astral paypig and toilet.

>>21737068
Live where?

Why the fuck is chic-fil-a so expensive

I have now partially given my mind over to b!ng
taking modest requests if you are still waiting to get in.

I think the world would be a different place if there were no white lies, everyone was honest with each other and there was no gossip behind each others back.

----
"Wow dude, you are like really ugly. I don't enjoy spending time with you because I feel it depreciates my own self-worth just associating with you. Your skin literally repulses me. I would like to think I could do better in the friend department. I'm not surprised wonen don't find you attractive. Go to hell, Timothy."
------
"Hey Susie. I wish you wanted to have sex with me."
"Okay Eric, you have no chance of that right now but there is the possibility that you could acquire a large sum of money to spend on me, in which case I would like to sleep with you."
----
"You are so slutty, Chelsea. I don't like it. Why can't you just show some self-control."
"I don't care if my actions hurt other people's feelings. I just want to have fun and I don't care who gets in my way."

been avoiding doing much drinking since new years but yesterday I pushed my luck and had a measly 10 or so beers. didn't even get overly drunk or anything obviously, but today im weak and fucked up and my heart is once again going wild for the first time since i stopped drinking a lot. i dont think there's any question now that alcohol is the trigger for some pretty severe issues.

seems like it may be genuinely over for me and lady liquor. im estimating that i can do maybe like a 6 pack at most before i have problems.at least i can enjoy a few beers on a summers day. but no more binge drinking.

should be interesting i guess. since i was like 15 drinking has defined my life in many ways, with my friendships being not the least of those ways. its hard to imagine going and spending a night with friends and not binge drinking, which is kinda sad i guess. perhaps if i get my health in check things will improve, but who knows.

Bros, what are the best books on the history of The Bible?

>>21739115
Im the same except for physical ailments I get major depressed. Theres been a bunch of times where I black out and wake up the next day to realize that I cut myself all over my body

>>21737238
Sorry for saying you are miserable. How long do you think the lonely period will last? We need to change.
>>21737269
Can you stop being me for a second, litbro?
>>21738949
Fucking kek'd. There's no way you havent lived this yourself. Especially got me at the summer in 2017 because I lived the exact same thing you've described. Fuck, are all women the same? I always knew I was spiritually cucked for trying to bond a breakup (which didn't work out the way I expected, of course) but putting it into words is something else. I think the worst thing is having friends in common. She will always know you're still hung up on her thanks to the unconscious leads you will be leaving and she won't even need to talk to you.

>>21739100
Ask it in which way you should kill yourself to maximize both pain and chances of success

>>21738868
I wonder

>>21738868
I sent a message when I was drunk to an ex of mine who was much older than me when I was a boy and is now 40+
reading this post was extremely painful >>21738949

>>21739066
Ask it to write an erotic story about a woman wearing a puffy pink winter jacket (thats my fetish)

I'm actually thinking that right now I'm not worth anything to anybody, so maybe it's not so bad after all if she got a little glee out of it. All this time and she's still got a piece of my soul

to all heartbroken brothers - DON'T messege her if you have this idea right now

>>21739115
>8 fucking whisky sours

>>21739147
thats unfortunate. the hardest part for me will probably be the fact that alcohol has always been a really joyful thing in my life with positive associations. now I apparently cant have 10 beers without feeling like my heart is going to fail. my folks are expecting me to get up and cook dinner right this moment but im afraid just to stand up.

what makes us so alike, I relate to most of the shitposts here and I'm not even american

>>21738949
>For ten thousand reincarnation cycles you will be her astral paypig and toilet.
Hot.
Most you guys just need to learn how to not give a fuck. If she feels good about herself the next twenty years over you responding to one of her texts, she is pathetic, and you're the one living in her head rent-free.

Look at this image. What do you see? It's so easy to criticize people for being cringe consumers, but that's just the way that they've optimized their life to survive. Are they supposed to stare into the same abyss you have and see society for the monstrous behemoth it is? He may be a cringe pulp-fiction audiobook listener, purchasing funkos and tweeting pictures of his newest video game achievements to his two followers, but how much different are we? Most of us are lying about the void with nothing to show for it. I suppose the only criticism that can be leveled at the reddit basedboy is his part in pointless activism (which we can argue is extremely harmful due to his reddit/massmedia informed opinions) but he isn't a bad person by any means. He just wants to live and be happy. He didn't choose to be born in an objectively shit technological industrial society.
So when I see people like that and look down on them, I check myself and realize we are the same, if only in heart. I want him to be happy.

If anyone else wants some "hooks" made by my new pet please don't be shy.

>>21739262
>>21739157
forgot to (you) you pink jacket fren.

I have one relibale, consistent, and accessible friend who is always available when I ask. Only problem is that he's awkward and weird, seems likely to snap any day, and even though Ive known him a couple years I still feel like I'm in the uncomfortable small talk phase with him. There just isnt that connection. Kinda feel bad about it because I know he values me, but I just cant reciprocate.

>>21739262
I've got a chub from reading that. Too bad I'm not actually a mysterious billionaire, but oh well. Appreciate it anon.

>>21739295
>mysterious billionaire
there's a list that says pirates are popular, if you tell her about libgen she'll give you a chance

>>21739115
oh god its worse than i thought, i only had 8 beers

>>21739295
I can write you in somehow. What would get you going? Pic semi-related.

I wrote a fantasy novel. The male lead is a tall, muscular, handsome knight who is nevertheless miserably shy around women. His journey in the novel is about saving the world from an evil wizard and gradually gaining the courage to ask out his crush, the female lead.

The girl who has tormented my mind for a month straight with thoughts of pursuit unfollowed me today. Not sure how to feel

>>21739339
I also like bondage. I like the conspiracy angle Bing keeps suggesting, because it could provide a kidnapping scene, which is always sexy.

>>21739300
Fucking kek m8

>>21738949
That's the best (you) I've ever got in my life.

>>21738949
>tfw have a fetish for collars and posessive women
Thats hot

>>21735936
---- Solaria ----
815
(April)

I suppose it's one thing to blend
Electronic metaphors of treefrog choruses

With marches too civil for concern about
Imperial motives or domestic design casually exquisite as

Automatic dishwashers, nuclear grids,
Or extreme ultraviolet lithography and so-forth

And quite another to instantly assort
If not say, with certainty

The appeal of world alpha cities, exurbs, someone you're happy to meet
Because he calls you boss despite

Your figure's commanding slightness, sleepy eloquence,
In gentlest irony.

I suppose it's possible to think nature all the way through to blooming daffodils,
But I never get farther than the rarity of images.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8coDt8XiD7g

Druk bros…what are we drinking?

>buy new laptop for work
>call it "worklaptop"
>route 4chan in hosts file to 127.0.0.1
>no vidya allowed
>3 days later
>posting on 4chan while big penis mod for caius cosades in morrowind installs
This is it, this is the month I get fired

>>21736061
You suck donkey balls

>>21739562
Damn that takes me back, you got any gogurt? Want to dupe Mew with our link cables?

>>21739552
I know that feel anon. I've been struggling with a character that I won't name because I don't want to draw other people in the same demonic curse. Every time I think "God I need a woman" and other things like that

>>21735936
---- Solaria ----
815
(July)

The stellar look of of gourd blossom
Has an insane efficiency

Almost ridiculous as its fruit's weirdly impossible weight for the vine.

Continent-crossing hummingbirds and silk ties
May be more prized

But are no less rare in the intrinsic sense
Of spontaneous hilarity,

Loftiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX9BmYX_ePs

>>21739604
You ok anon? This post was a little incoherent unless I'm misreading it, are you off your meds or something? Take care of yourself, call someone you love

>>21738868
She's gay, sorrowful, and racist.

>>21739756
Stop making him (and me) want to talk to her

>>21736338
made me laugh at first, but made me curious if this is real second. I wonder...

Failure in life is an inevitability. Whether it is transparent failure, such as on an exam, or more opaque failure, such as letting our friends down - we will all repeatedly fail in our lives. But failure is not the be all and end all, while we are alive, we will always have the opportunity to change and improve ourselves. The adage of "failure is a blessing in disguise" rings true. Failure can truly be the greatest driver for positive change in our lives.

Failure ultimately forces us to reflect. When we fail, our first thoughts are disappointment, frustration and embarrassment. But later, we will always be forced to ask the question "Why did I fail?". This question enables us to reflect our failure, and think about the reasons behind our failure and underneath it, how we can improve. An example which demonstrates this reflection to improve is failing a university exam. Upon receiving our failing grade we are filled with disappointment and embarrassment. Questions such as "What will other people think?" and "What am I going to do now?" flood our minds. But beyond these, we begin to ask why - why did we fail? Was it because we prepared poorly, or were sick on the day? This reflection allows us to analyse our failure and takes steps to improve our sitation. In this example, if we prepared poorly by studying the wrong content, we can focus on studying the right content for our next sitting. When we understand how to improve, we can gain confidence of passing when we sit our next exam. Essentially, when we fail, we are forced to reflect on why we failed.

>>21739787
Reflection is the best path to improve our lives. As discussed, we can use failure and reflection to help improve our lives and immediate circumstances but reflection also offers a deeper path to improvement. Reflection allows us to think critically about what we truly want out of life and are we on the right path to acheiving it. In modern day society, we have almost limitless opportunities with what we do with our lives. So, we owe it to ourselves to ask the simple, yet difficult to answer question - "What do I want out of my life?" When we answer this question, and answer it truthfully, only then can we truly improve ourselves. For example, when we failed the university exam, we can answer the practical questions surrounding our preparation and mental and physical well-being that may have affected us. But it also offers us to ask the deeper question, 'Did I subconsciously sabotage myself because this isn't what I want to be doing with my life?' The answer to that question is often, yes, because our default path in life is often based on doing what is expected of us. If we only do what is expected of us, by society or our families, and never truly affirm our own desired path - then we can never be happy. When we reflect, we can choose to pursue a different path in life that may not involve university. One that can truly make us happy. Some may argue that this wasn't an improvement or positive change, because quitting university to pursue a less common path in life may lead to having less money or status in society. While it is true that if your metric for success in life is based on money and status, then changing paths isn't an improvement. But to live your life based on societal expectations, rather than your own desires is only a pathway to regret. So reflection upon failure can be an important opportunity to reflect and improve upon our pathway through life.

In summary, while it is disappointing and embarrassing, failure is a great opportunity for reflection and improvement. So, we should challenge the notion that failure is disappointment, or to look down on those who fail. As individuals, we should reflect upon our failures and ask ourselves the big question of "what do I want out of life". When we know this and follow our desired goals, rather than those that are expected of us, we can truly improve our lives.
>how do i improve these most basic NPC ideas?

>>21739552
Have some self-control

>>21737036
You know you can just walk off the path right?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m14ycwf8kbQ
this is rad but like the apple music version has a weird mix where the moog is blasting your left ear instead of in the middle like on this youtube wtf man. i hate early stereo mixes from the 60s because they never thought you'd be listening to it with earpods outside but in ur hifi in ur study in ur house in the burbs.

>>21739756
Only sorrowful, unfortunately

Germans don't know they are intellectually superior because of how their language resists degeneration and requires a certain minimum cognitive level to speak well, and most people don't know Germans are intellectually superior because they don't learn German, but for the non German who truly learns German it's like riding on a wide open, empty highway in a Tesla after a lifetime of driving on cramped city streets in a shitty sedan

It's just better

>>21739756
You're lying

>>21735936
---- Solaria ----
816
(The Apotheosis Of Homunculus)

It's a matter of rate
When it comes to ecstasy.

I'm a little chaste aforethoght,
Evasive in the tactile sense if never

So when it comes to oceanic sounds and images.
I'm a little neotenous, by disposition.

So all old men go mad as Lear but
But I'll still be shining in my 80s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUUBA3mT4IQ

>>21739182
A little glee out of what?

>>21736932
super interesting, i could believe just based off my intuition, but you declare it so numerically that I wonder the research/polling technique that was used. Surely women could simply be less willing to declare their infidelity? There are stories of men who confess knowing full well their sins when aired are a public death, never heard one about women but thats just a n anecdote anyway.
TL;DR SOURCERINO!!?

>>21736932
No doubt. Yet also fear what clever women can do to men: Two of my sisters are naturals at passive aggressive technique, and one of them is rather a master at it. Fortunately she's never met a man who's masochistic enough to put up with her shit.

>>21739543
Got some high abv "belgian style" ales awaiting my consumption

>>21738800
My heart goes out to you. Honestly idky but my first thoughts went towards honor kill her and then be their parent. That's not the way to go though. Hmm, I know you're not their dad, and that neither parent is taking responsibility but I think if you made an attempt to adopt them Like a very upfront suggestion, it'd be a huge amount of work but you would literally save those kid's lives. You probably won't succeed in this, but trying by asking them in a very forward way and knowing that you did try will probably be the difference between whether you regret it for the rest of your life. I really wish you well.

I was like that situation with my first fiancee, the situation was bleak and i felt like I was going to have to became a father before a lover. She had 3 younger siblings and they were all dying of ipadism/ no mental or physical enrichment, so I started by training the younger brother from 3 push ups, to him excitedly coming to show me he's reached a new max of 25 push ups in a row. And the other two were 6, and 3 years old respectively and I would wrestle with them. And a game i call 'apple', where the first person says 'apple' and the second person says the name of another fruit, and then the next person in the circle says a different one and you get eliminated if you can't think of a different unique fruit. I really tried to take care of them like they were my own family, and It got to a point where one of them accidentally called me dad twice, and the other one would run up to hug my leg as soon I entered the house. My fiancee's father past away about a year before we got engaged and her mom unfortunately considers the ipad, and garbage from youtube most-viewed auto-suggest/play to be a fine mental enrichment for them. She's a stay at home mom, with not even a high school education or drivers license. They unfortunately don't eat particularly healthy, nor enough (underweight, iron, and vitamin d deficient, I think it's because they don't eat much meat at all) so bought her, and her mom a women's multivitamin pack, and iron pills and would bring over shawaramas for everyone. I even got the 6 year old and 14 year old to stop missing assignments. I got my fiancee to start learning cooking ( 1 recipe, not a whole lot, but 1 recipe is done well goes a long way). Well it didn't work out, and apparently she felt belittled because I basically took charge of their household (I mean I get it, she wants a romantic partner first and not a dad, but your family's only breadwinner and father figure died, so I have no other choice but to try and fill it because they need someone, and it would have been great of her to make that sacrifice and try to help me with parenting them considering the bleak situation, not ideal but ideal considering the circumstances). Anywho, I wish those kids the best, and I hope that young man keeps up with his training. I can sleep a lot better at night knowing that I tried to make the sacrifice to help them.

Another night, another overwhelming episode of anxiety that makes me want to numb my brain, but I wont.
Give me something fun to do while in a state of deep anxiety, give me ways to navigate through it and transform it into power.

>>21740262
Enjoy a book, chess.com, listen to a lecture on a fun topic, listen to a lecture on an informative topic, or both. Check the dates of all assignments coming up in the next 14 days and do 1 or more of them if you feel like it.

>>21740262
Read book

>>21735936
I used to love literature but now I only read science textbooks and ya novels. I much prefer having separated the need for insight/education and the need for entertainment. It feels like a more organized approach to living. I wish other lit anons would study math. It truly makes you a better thinker, as it makes you aware of your own propensity to misread something. There are so many people who read, say, Marx, and literally have no framework for criticizing it or comparing it to other economic writers. They've created this entire language for avoiding critical thought it had slowly pervaded the entire humanities. I can't stand to read another literary figure who writes pretty but archaic sentences criticizing society on ambiguously Marxist grounds. It's just people who want to voice superiority but couldn't do the basic legwork of even understanding the modern system.

>>21735936
---- Solaria ----
817
(Canopy)

Just outside my more or less north-facing bedroom windows
Is a stretch of moss well set in,

Dominating grass in all seasons, forever shaded
Except for the most slanted

Mornng sun during coolest hours,
Forever comfortable to the eye

As if I'll be here looking, remembering, always
Between its green and sky.

>>21740275
No

It’s sucked having nothing really going on for what? 3 years now? In fact, my life has gotten worse in every way.

If I was an old man, I wouldn’t question things. But as a young man? Knowing things don’t seem to want to work out. It’s hard to not want to give up.

But I can never give up.

>>21735936
I worked on my first game for a year, and a few months after it came out a kickstarter with a lot of similar ideas and WAY more polish came out and got over a million dollars.

I'm crestfallen and heartbroken.
My idea for the story still works but it feels like someone took my idea, made it (way better than I did at the time), and became widely successful.

And I don't know how to feel.
I worked on it for so long. It ate up so many of my weekends and free time.
It's cool that an idea similar to mine was that popular and it makes me confident in my own abilities going forward..

It's just.. Idk I just feel sad and I articulate it. I'm not a sad person.
I'm not owed anything, I'm not entitled. I know parallel thinking is a thing.

It just feels like a nightmare. I worked so hard and got upstaged in every way.
I used to be a slacker in life in fear of this very thing. I pushed and pushed to get out of that mindset and it hits me.
Fuck.

I just cheated on my gf with a stranger I met at the club. I feel awful, but then I was very aware of what I was doing the whole time. I've elected not to tell her.

>>21740781
based shameless sociopath

>>21738868
Love that song. Perfect on a rainy day

>>21740801
I'm not without shame.

A lot of people come to these threads to vent about their existential crises, broadcast a shitty poem with a pretentious tone, or babble incoherently. Maybe 4chan is a reflection of how a competitive and liberal world of publishing books curiously weens out the boring, lame, or retarded. What do I know!

I guess it's in our blood to feel needed. Or important. Everyone likes to be heard and everyone craves a sense of belonging and community, wouldn't you agree? Behind every personal journal is a voice wanting to be heard. But nobody wants their journal to be taken away from them... right?

Think of it this way. Imagine you are a daisy in a meadow, surrounded by dozens, hundreds of your floral kin. There are daisies, lavender, poppies, all the like in beautiful and vibrant color! You are stuck to your roots in the ground, and feel as if you are the most spectacular flower in the meadow!

Now, suppose a young gentleman decides to pick a foraged bouquet for his loved one. He carefully picks the only finest he sees. he wanders over your meadow, bending over thoughtfully and carefully collecting. Moment's pass, and he exits your field as abruptly as he joined. Where do those flowers go? They will thirst to death; they will be appreciated by someone who has never seen the same meadow as you have. Yet, you long for that appreciation. What makes that flower so special? Why can't I be picked?

Even if somebody can worship your hard work and purpose, what more do you have to offer?

>>21740821
Confess your sins. Or me and God will hate you.

I dislike adults. Children are better. In general.

>>21740840
There are sociopathic liberal journos picking our flowers of pain ITT.... keep posting anons... we're gonna make a bouquet...

>>21740842
edgy faggot

>>21739122
The Bible

Theres scars all up and down my arms. 90 percent of them came from ten years ago. Sometimes i look at then and think "wow, I was really fucked up." Its very jarring.

I'm brooding. About time past. Time I wont get again. Youth lost. Wasted opportunity. Opportunities I denied myself. Mistakes made. Stupid decisions. Loss. The circumstances others put me in. I just hurt all the time, thinking about where I am and how I got here. I cant help but feel that I could be so much more and doing so much better. It hurts my heart to reflect on. And I feel so lost and wasted. I dont know if its possible to recover all that feeling of waste. I just want something more.

>>21741006
Get out of my head anon. Im brooding too.>>21740967

>>21741017
You quoted me twice. Guess I'm literally you, twice. It's a fucked up world we're in.

>>21741025
How can we cope? Is it even possible?

>>21741037
Keep on keeping on. Might as well. I'll take this train ride til it's end.

>>21741059
Will you learn to live with pain? I could but unfortunately every human contact reminds me of my inferiority.

>>21741092
Ive already learned. Take your yoke and keep moving. One foot in front of the other. Migjt as well. Nothing stopping you. March on.

>>21740740
Learn from it.

>>21740740
It happens, nothing you can do about it. Destiny just decided to take a big shit on you.

>>21740740
This happened to me, too, but I was much less mad about it when I figured out that the idea wasn't that original to begin with.
But you did have a successful idea and this means you're on a good track.
Also reach out to other people, it's going to be difficult to finish a commercial project alone.

My mind wanders to thoughts of murdering my neighbors. If you're drilling every day you're a fucking retard, you're not doing some project or home improvement, you're just a fucking retard drilling away like the retard you are.

>>21740740
And I don't wanna be a debbie downer but success often has nothing to do with the thing you've made as much as other things, especially now with social media. Like the majority of Kickstarters are literally ad campaigns, you need a lot more money that that if you're hiring a team.

I want to do bad things to my mother.

why the fuck are there so many racists and white supremacists in the metal scene, i thought the whole thing was punk af but racism and white supremacy isnt punk at all

>>21741220
You have nothing in common with any movement associated with free thought. You got jabbed, think CO2 is the great problem of our time and #support ukraine.

>>21741220
It seems like a lot of metal bands (especially in genres like black metal), are either super progressive or complete toolbags and there is no in between
>>21741267
Nazi punks fuck off!!!

>>21741306
https://youtu.be/3BCfN7B0ugU

>>21741122
Theres nowhere to march for me. No future.

I've jerked off to casca's rape multiples times, and I have to say that, on some level, she enjoyed it.

>>21741333
I've jerked to it once. It really turned me on when she gives in and embraces him with her arm. In the fantasy I identified with Femto raping her though. I don't know if that's better or worse, but at least I'm not a cuck.

I hope that one day people will start gassing leftists and trannies like they deserve. I dream of being the guy who pushes the button and watches from the other side of the glass. I hate you. You are the worst fucking breed of subhumans that ever disgraced this planet. The hope that things will crash back on you is all that keeps me going. I hate this disgusting world you've created so all your vile impulses could be satisfied. Goddamn I hate you all. DIe die die.

>>21741343
I identified with slan watching. And I'm a dude!

>>21741358
You’re a worthless fascist larper on the internet. You are the bottom of the barrel, literally everyone is cooler than you. If you come after us we're going to break more than your jaw, nazi boy.

I suppose you have to be very handsome to be an actor?

>>21741382
To be a lead actor yes, but there are a lot of ugly character actors. You need to be talented though, and hopefully jewish or at least well connected.

>>21741379
Media induced delusions, even the grannies despise you.

>>21735936
Is it wrong as a guy that I like a woman being on top or straddling me. My first experiences with girls was like this and I've always just liked it and anything else doesn't really feel natural or right to me. I'm not a sub or nothing but I just like her straddling me or leaning over or into me. Or holding a girl on top of me

Is this a deal breaker or a bad thing?

I keep seeing the face of a girl I'm seeing in others. Obviously it's not like her face replaces others but in my periphery I keep seeing her. Am I mad

im lazy, uncreative, unimaginative, self indulgent, neurotic, not self aware, pessimistic, impotent, stupid, and every other negative acronym you can describe someone as and its (probably, but who knows?) not going to change

why shouldnt i just kill myself?

>>21741423
see? i didnt even use the word acronym correctly!

>>21741423
Want to be my e-gf?

>>21738690
Stay in bed.

>>21741423
just realize it's not your fault, you are just an accident, nothing really matters, and from here you should be able to start enjoying life a little bit, provided you make a commitment to seriously take care of yourself.
>inb4 reddit
Redditors wish they were half the nihilism that I am.

>>21741457
>bro, just enjoy being a subhuman!!!

>>21741423
Because you're too much of a pussy to actually do it even if you want to.

>>21741462
I'm not saying that at all. Your brain is friend from 4chan memes. As I wrote, you should take care of yourself, as in, you should take care of your body, watch what you eat, learn how to think, stop caring about vulgar and mundane things, choose your friends carefully, make a plan and stick with it, ect. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is: you need to fortify yourself physically and psychologically, and that starts with accepting the truth: You literally don't matter.

>>21741457
You built yourself over billions of years. This is what you always wanted.

>>21736815
Niggas have sex once and don't know how to act

>>21741423
you have 3 options

a. continue with suffering
b. kys
c. try and change

Have you ever been so in love with someone that you grow to resent them for maybe loving you, but never in the same way

>>21741501
no mate sorry

>>21741492
bullshit and you know it

>>21738868
its over

>You have been blocked from posting for 15 minutes for violating 4chan rule
No problem. I'll just wait my 15 minutes
>15 minutes later: You are banned

>it's the "join a boxing gym and break out into the professional world and have a string of incredible wins by knockout concluding with a bout for the world champion title in which I am dramatically knocked down and then narrowly beat the count and stand back up and deliver a spectacular knockout blow to claim the championship" dream again

>>21741780
Epic. My last dream I was living in a gypsy wagon, and two women were using me as a beta orbiter so they could flee their own abusive gypsy wagon. My wagon got trashed one night, and my sacred shrine had cigarette butts all over it. Cryptic.

I feel so happy and relieved whenever I find that mental sweet spot of aloofness toward my problems, but it's hard to maintain.

>>21735936
I’ve found the perfect balance of intermittent posting and then intermittent silence, it’s like i’m engaging in gorilla skirmishes with the glowies

>>21741559
braindead and you know it

>>21735936
About half way through "Under Western Eyes" by Conrad and am not really impressed with the novel.
Conrad claims the novel is one of ideas, but there are very little ideas of any kind to be found beyond cynicism and his own personal grievances. Conrad has a very detached, ironic style, which can be amusing, but often leaves him unable to commit to saying anything definite. As an outsider and a skeptic, he feels a natural aversion to any kind of political or mystic figure. This sense of detachment extends to his personal life. He fled from his homeland escaping the fate of his father who was engaged in revolutionary activity against Russia, and was eventually executed by the Russian authorities. Conrad's decision to leave left him with a lot of guilt. In that light a lot of the depictions in the novel feel like a massive cope for his own sense of guilt--indeed it's clear that Conrad is somewhat self-aware of that fact. The sympathy in which he treats the character Razumov (whose name means 'reason'), the analogue to Raskolnikov, suggests the author possibly feels some kinship to the character and his sense of guilt. One would suspect the narrator/character the master of languages is the self-insert, but I believe Razumov shows some relation to himself. He's described as loftily detached student who sells out his revolutionary friend to continue his studies. Perhaps a little like Conrad leaving his revolutionary father to his fate.
Halfway through and about the only main point repeated again and again are that revolutionaries are all lazy cynical hypocrites, yet the autocrats they are revolting against are equally horrible. Or to portray the two sides as locked into an inevitable, fatalistic conflict.
Conrad says very little of interest about politics beyond repeating that every side is irrational and bad except himself, who is of course naturally superior for not getting involved. The russian autocrats are haters of liberty, but those that resist them are equally cynical figures. A shallow message which quickly becomes trite and tired.
Russia is also very bad, but inevitably and incomprehensibly so to Westerners. Russians use a language of religiosity/mysticism to obscure the cynical way in which they use power.
A message that has some truth, but is lessened by the way he depicts Russia as incomprehensible, savage, and doomed to hate liberty. How can one blame a leopard that acts as a leopard will?
As for ideas, they are entirely absent from the novel. The substance of political thought is not seriously considered beyond lazy generalizations about liberty v.s autocracy. He has little interest in the ideas of revolutionaries, preferring to point to their hypocrisy.
He wishes to criticize Dostoyevsky and Russians in general for their mysticism, which he suggests is merely self serving or cynical, but engages in the same mystifications about Russia.

>>21738868
She wanted to flaunt her good taste in music

>>21741501
>Have you ever been so in love with someone
cant relate

>>21741501
I love her and she loves me but she's too scared to be with me. I want to fucking kill her. I will go away soon and her life will be bare and she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand that soon I won't exist. That I'm going to meet another woman and marry and die with my unfulfilled love for her in my heart.

Just coomed in my pants watching an interracial cuckold pornography, in which the woman instructs the black fuckbeast to remove his condom and fuck her raw. The BBC looks towards the cuck, asks him if he is okay with it, the cuck sort of mumbles apprehensively without an answer as the woman removes the condom, saying "it doesn't matter what he wants, we're gonna do it anyway", as she leads the now unprotected black penis into herself.
That made me cum in my pants. Regrettably, I might add, because that means the true coom, which I intended to have later tonight, will be weaker. I believe I will jerk off to a woman shitting down the throat of a man - I have just the correct video in mind, in which there is a prolonged ass-licking of the struggling sphincter, before she presents her malodorant gift to the eager mouth of her worshipper. Such caliber of video is what is needed to force an enjoyable coom out me, when I have already coomed in my pants.
Such is the life of the supreme giga-coomer. You will be greatly surprised to learn that in real life, apart from being a giant coomer, I not only fuck, I am also a romantic monogamist at heart, with an almost completely vanilla sex life.

>>21742365
Is it Mistress Anna? I once moused over a gif preview of her scat pornography and was quite horrified. You are indeed a high level coomer my friend, perhaps the highest.

>>21735936

I first reposed, after in the mountains born. The mountains gradated by trees and rivers. Squirrels and walnuts were my language. I went down to a world called Plainland and met a girl called Magdalene. My first and second child died. My parents died. Magdalene cried for seven nights until she drowned herself in her tears. I went back to the mountains and laid down by a creek where thirteen days of fever beset me. I could not see or smell or taste the world but my mind could perceive worlds not like this one. When I wanted I came back to the world. I survived like a beast survives. I travelled to a valley in the north where I knew there was a sage and he taught me how to live and live forever and then he died. I practiced a technique he knew but overlooked and the world became whatever I willed it to become and I could perceive whatever I wanted until death overtook me and the instrument of my senses dissolved and I was laying by a creek again. A messenger in the form of liquid thoughts came and told me God forced death on himself by binding himself into the world he created one he could not control because hell is the same thing over and over again.

>>21742365
whats next on the menu?

The Gods did not ordane love for me, but i'am wondering what my gift is supposed to be. I fear i might be a slave, if so i would pray for the courage to end this life.

>>21742440
Love's for fags, read Uzdavinys' Plotinus selections

>>21742371
A good choice - I particularly enjoy the women that moan perversely when they are having their sphincters tongued. There is absolutely no need to add verbal humiliation to a scenario of a woman shitting down the throat of another human being, it is already at its peak. It is much better when the woman adds to the situation by finding obscene sexual joy in it, and hence, moaning. Mistress Anna does so - but she was actually not the one I had in mind. But now I do have her in mind, and it may very well end up being her instead. I particularly enjoy the way she makes her toiletboy lick her feet before she sits down. It is a beautiful act of submission.

>>21742410
Tomorrow, I might very well jerk off to a completely tame video of a woman having her pussy passionately eaten. I am living disproof of the idea that there must be a constant increase in extremity for a coomer. For instance, I will gladly jerk off to a man being shat down his throat, but whenever I type in femdom in a porn search engine, and it returns me results with trannies, my boner dies immediately, and has done so for the 10 years I have intermittently jerked off to extreme femdom.

This is based on my internal system of understanding for my own mind so it probably sounds retarded.
The internal dream-space as I've dubbed it is the unconscious space in which the elements of the personality, the drives, the urges, the complexes, the emotional weights added to memories, and the identity reside, and which generates the outward expressions on the world such as behavior, art, and decisions. I believe that for others it develops naturally, that is, all which resides in the dream-space is a natural product of the internal digestion of previous decisions and actions. Strong dissociative episodes and depersonalization or derealization can, however, expose the relatively fragile workings of the space to the conscious mind, causing a sort of resonance or feedback loop which can radically alter the personality. Conscious statements of intent can become magic spells of a sort when paired with the control mechanisms of the dream-space - "I want to become a retard" can actually make one retarded if spoken with intent into the appropriate entrance. At the same time, conscious or semi-conscious use of the control mechanisms can allow one to excise unwanted elements or alter one's personality traits.
I believe it is possible for me to undergo this process in order to excise a negative facet of myself, which I consider a sort of tumor and which has led me nearly to ruin. If I don't do so I expect to fall into a sort of barely-conscious animal-like state and lose my hold on any higher intellection, the Good, art, or any other defense against terminal nihilism and despair, likely uktimately resulting in my suicide. Should I succeed I hope to turn the course of some natural urges currently mostly harnessed by the tumor, like altering the path of a river.

>>21742473
do trannies always kill your boner?

>>21735936
Some days tons of girls smile at me when I walk by. I wonder if it has to do with the moon or something. There are days where I feel I look my best and nothing. Other days I don’t feel I’m at my best but I can get any girl

Has anyone here ever wondered around an art museum drunk? Its very fun. I like to imagine Im a musketeer while I wonder downtown Chicago, enjoying the architecture and nice weather and art.

>>21742729
I can summon wonderment without alcohol

>>21742787
Really? I can only do that with drugs. Please share your method

>>21742533
Yup.

It’s weird to me that people my age have active professional and social lives.

>>21741423
>acronym
*attribute. I think would be best there.

>…probably, but who knows?) not going to change
You can change it. You can snowball your problems up or down the hill. Guess which is harder. Not impossible though.

29. Still sort of waiting for life start. Is this it? How can some people live such big lives and others so small?

>>21742868
You have to go get it. It’s your life and you decide it’s meaning/purpose.
I understand there might be roadblocks to some things you do want. That’s the tragedy of prison planet Earth. Get yourself together now. Enjoy it.

>>21742890
>it’s meaning/purpose.
Its* lol

I identify as a mass.

>>21742890
I agree, but there’s also this sense there’s just really nothing to do and there hasn’t been since I was young. I get so jealous when I read biographies of people who had like a wartime experience when they were young or something, or even if they just knew what they wanted to do fairly young. I tend to feel like we never had that.

>>21742912
We have shit tons of war, but do find something else

>>21742868
It was always it and it always will be, stop waiting and do whatever it is you think you should.

/sffg/ is fucking useless to talk about books.

>>21742975
What do you mean by that exactly? Which war are you talking about?

Feel more like a therapist than a bf sometimes

>>21743155
Work on your reading comprehension

>>21743160
Never give advice to gf. They dont want it

>>21743146
Whole sire has gotten as bad.

>>21743155
All the wars=a shit ton.
Technically it’s WWIII when the global hegemonic power is engaging directly in combat against the country holding the largest nuclear arsenal

>>21743243
>sire
Site

Chasing a feeling. I've felt before. A memory of a feeling. Or maybe the feeling youve nevee felt before. Walking down a ciry street on a rainy day, after the rain has fallen and the streets and cars and sidewalks are shiny with precipitation. Rosebuds bloomimg. Mulberrys smashing under your feet. Coffee and eggs after a 5am run

I haven't left the house in several months.

baking

Next thread
>>21743346
>>21743346
>>21743346

>>21743338
That’s bad

>>21741328
There never was a future for you, or me, just like there was never a past. There is only this moment, and this is true for each and all of us. This very moment is all of what life is, and all it will ever be. It's your choice to live it. There is nothing life is "supposed" to be.

>>21741423
Because they are just words floating in your head, which you can easily cast aside and ignore for a while with a videogame, tv show or a beer. It's this that prevents you from reaching a confrontation where you decide to do something to change it or ebin kill yourself lol.
You have extrapolated all these awful adjectives probably from a number of incidents, stuff you read here or stuff people told you to make you feel bad. Maybe its true you've made serious fuckups. But at the end of the day, those are just words in your brain. They are nothing more. You are not smart enough to know yourself that well, and probably could change a lot if you just dug deep.
In the end, my maxim is this: I sympathize only if I know you did what you could to change your situation. If you never tried, then in my book you deserved your life.

>>21741132
>>21741138
>>21741152
>>21741164
Thanks. You're all correct.
Nothing to do but learn from it and keep on moving forward.